{\rtf1\ansi\deff0\adeflang1025
{\fonttbl{\f0\froman\fprq2\fcharset0 Times New Roman;}{\f1\froman\fprq2\fcharset0 Times New Roman;}{\f2\fswiss\fprq2\fcharset0 Arial;}{\f3\fnil\fprq0\fcharset0 Arial;}{\f4\fswiss\fprq2\fcharset0 Tahoma;}{\f5\froman\fprq2\fcharset0 Times New Roman;}{\f6\fnil\fprq2\fcharset0 MS Mincho;}{\f7\fnil\fprq2\fcharset0 Tahoma;}{\f8\fnil\fprq0\fcharset0 Tahoma;}}
{\colortbl;\red0\green0\blue0;\red128\green128\blue128;}
{\stylesheet{\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\aspalpha\rtlch\afs24\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af0\langfe1033\hich\f0\fs24\lang1033\loch\f0\fs24\lang1033\snext1 Normal;}
{\s2\sb240\sa120\keepn\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\aspalpha\rtlch\af7\afs28\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af6\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs28\lang1033\loch\f2\fs28\lang1033\sbasedon1\snext3 Heading;}
{\s3\sa120\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\aspalpha\rtlch\afs24\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af0\langfe1033\hich\f0\fs24\lang1033\loch\f0\fs24\lang1033\sbasedon1\snext3 Body Text;}
{\s4\sa120\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\aspalpha\rtlch\af8\afs24\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af0\langfe1033\hich\f3\fs24\lang1033\loch\f3\fs24\lang1033\sbasedon3\snext4 List;}
{\s5\sb120\sa120\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\aspalpha\rtlch\af8\afs24\lang1025\ai\ltrch\dbch\af0\langfe1033\hich\f3\fs24\lang1033\i\loch\f3\fs24\lang1033\i\sbasedon1\snext5 caption;}
{\s6\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\aspalpha\rtlch\af8\afs24\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af0\langfe1033\hich\f3\fs24\lang1033\loch\f3\fs24\lang1033\sbasedon1\snext6 Index;}
{\s7\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\aspalpha\rtlch\af4\afs16\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af4\langfe1033\hich\f4\fs16\lang1033\loch\f4\fs16\lang1033\sbasedon1\snext7 Balloon Text;}
{\*\cs9\cf0\rtlch\af0\afs24\lang1033\ltrch\dbch\af0\langfe1033\hich\f0\fs20\lang1033\loch\f0\fs20\lang1033 Default Paragraph Font;}
{\*\cs10\cf0\rtlch\af4\afs16\lang1033\ltrch\dbch\af4\langfe1033\hich\f4\fs16\lang1033\loch\f4\fs16\lang1033\sbasedon9 Balloon Text Char;}
}
{\info{\creatim\yr0\mo0\dy0\hr0\min0}{\revtim\yr0\mo0\dy0\hr0\min0}{\printim\yr0\mo0\dy0\hr0\min0}{\comment StarWriter}{\vern6800}}\deftab720
{\*\pgdsctbl
{\pgdsc0\pgdscuse195\pgwsxn12240\pghsxn15840\marglsxn1800\margrsxn1800\margtsxn1440\margbsxn1440\pgdscnxt0 Standard;}}
{\*\pgdscno0}\paperh15840\paperw12240\margl1800\margr1800\margt1440\margb1440\sectd\sbknone\pgwsxn12240\pghsxn15840\marglsxn1800\margrsxn1800\margtsxn1440\margbsxn1440\ftnbj\ftnstart1\ftnrstcont\ftnnar\aenddoc\aftnrstcont\aftnstart1\aftnnrlc
\pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0\qc{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 ...And Falling Apart}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0\qc{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 I woke up very slowly. As I opened my eyes everything was out of focus. My head felt like it had been mistaken for a baby seal. The side of my head throbbed in pain. I knew I\'92d damaged something during the fall when I started seeing angels. Two angels wear
ing blue were floating over me. Weren\'92t they supposed to be wearing white? The taller one was blond and had short hair. The other was shorter and had long brown hair. I saw, through the haze, two faces looking down at me and four arms trying to hold me. Wh
y did they look so familiar? I drifted out of consciousness and back in as I heard the angles talking. }
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch \'93}{\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 Honest Jen, I didn\'92t do anything. We were just talking.\'94 The larger of the two angles said. From her tone I could tell, even in my dazed state, that she was very scared.}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch \'93}{\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 Like you were talking this morning?\'94 The little angel sounded very mad. \'93I thought he killed you and what happened? You came out of here smiling!\'94}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch \'93}{\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 Jennifer, this morning was different. We weren\'92t doing anything like that, please believe me. I came in and just woke him up. We talked that\'92s all.\'94}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 I finally got my eyes open and realized my head was on Agnes\'92 lap. Yeah, that was her name, or was it Sunny? Damn my head hurt. Suddenly there was screeching coming from my left. I didn\'92t dare move my head. I was afraid it would fall off my shoulders. I lo
oked over at the source of the mind numbing sound.}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 The source was someone I now recognized as Jennifer. \'93Like hell you did!\'94 She was screaming at Sunny now. \'93I know what you guys do in here. You\'92re supposed to make him happy him not kill him! I\'92m calling the cops!\'94}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch \'93}{\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 Jen, he\'92s not dead! Here feel his pulse, he\'92s just unconscious!\'94 Now Sunny was in a full panic. \'93Put your fingers here!\'94}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 I felt fingertips gently touching my neck. I was awake now. I even remembered why I\'92d passed out. I guess, after my trip down memory lane, I\'92d have to go back to the VA again. It wasn\'92t like they could really help me. All they did, the last time, was tell 
me it was all in my head, like I didn\'92t know that already.}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 I was about ready to say hello to the two women in my life when all hell broke loose. I was suddenly smothered by my old blue uniform shirt, as Jennifer yelled again and launched herself across me at Sunny. \'93I\'92m not putting my fingers anywhere, I hate you!
\'94}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 Sunny, or was it Agnes, for her part tried to move back to avoid the charging child. As she tried to duck out of the way she let out of a scream of her own, calling my name. As she backed up my head came off her knees and bounced off the floor, again. This
 time I hit the rug, thank you very much.}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 I tried to breath but Jen was pushed up against my face as she tried to get at Agnes. I was still recovering from the first fall and this wasn\'92t helping. I needed air so I reached up and grabbed some shirt and pushed. I guess I was loaded with adrenalin or
 something because I suddenly jerked Jen\'92s whole body off of me.  This wasn\'92t good for Agnes, as Jennifer had a death grip on her shirt. I heard the popping of buttons as they started to tumble. Jen went off to my side and Agnes followed, but this time it 
was Agnes/Sunny\'92s turn to land on top of me. I was suffocating again but this time it wasn\'92t a shirt but Sunny\'92s very warm naked flesh.}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 Two thoughts went through my head at the same time. First, I\'92m going to die and the other one was what a way to go.}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 I reached up to push Sunny off me and grabbed one of her, now naked breasts. It surprised her so bad that she jumped up off my face and broke the grip Jen had on her.}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 That started a whole new round of squeals from above me as well as, \'93Gene, stop it! What are you doing? Get your hand off my breasts! {\cf1 Jennifer\'92s} here!\'94}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch \'93}{\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 I\'92m just trying to breath, Agnes.\'94 I looked at her as she moved away. As I tried to sit up I saw something in her face told me I\'92d screwed up and there was something else. There as pain there. Not physical pain but emotional pain. What the hell had I done
 now?  I looked at Jen who ended up against the end table. She was just staring at me.}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 There were tears in her eyes as she looked at us. Finally Jen said, \'93You like her more than me, don\'92t you? You yell and scream at each other but you still like her. I wanted her...,\'94 Jen was pointing at the blond sitting against the bed, \'93...to live here, 
to make you happy.\'94 Suddenly her eyes went wide as the light went off over her head. \'93You\'92re IN love with her. You\'92re not supposed to be in love with her.\'94 Jen jerked her head up stared at Agnes. \'93You\'92re spoiling everything! You said you just wanted to mee
t my Uncle and have fun! You weren\'92t supposed to be in love!\'94}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 After living with Jennifer for all these years, I thought I\'92d seen and experienced everything. Now I was seeing something different. Her explosion when Alice came back was childish compared to what I was seeing now. Before it was an outburst but now this o
utburst was controlled. She knew, or thought she knew, what it was all about. Didn\'92t my Jennifer realize that in a few hours Sunny would be gone? I could see her eyes bouncing between the two of us. She was trying to figure out these new developments and s
aw on her face the answer wasn\'92t what she wanted.}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 I really didn\'92t know what Agnes was thinking about all of this, but my brain had just turned into oatmeal. I reverted back to Uncle mode. \'93Jen, please go to your room.\'94  I need time to sort this out myself.}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch \'93}{\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 Why? So you two can send me to Minnesota?\'94 The tears still kept on coming.  \'93She was supposed to be my friend too. I wanted her to be part of our family. You just want to get rid of me. I\'92m not going anywhere. I\'92ll run away if you send me up there, like R
ennie\'92s going to run away.\'94}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch \'93}{\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 That\'92s silly, Jen, I\'92m not sending you to your grandparents. You know I\'92d never do that. Please come here?}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 Jen looked at me deciding whether she should or not. Slowly my niece got up and moved over to me. She was wearing another of my old uniform shirts. When she stood it covered her like a night shirt. Her toes were peeking out from under the tails. I held out
 my arms and Jen knelt down and hugged me. As she held on to me, she kept on telling me that it wasn\'92t supposed to be like this. I really didn\'92t know who she was trying to convince, me or herself. I was already convinced. I knew it was supposed to be like 
this. Happy ever after, were for the young and fairy tales. I wasn\'92t young and I knew better. I wanted to help her but it was beyond me. It was for her to figure out. All I could do was catch her when she found out.}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 I looked around over my shoulder to Sunny or Agnes, what ever her name was. She just sat there looking like someone ran over her cat. It almost looked like she was about ready to blow up or cry. For the life of me, I couldn\'92t tell which. I tried to give he
r a reassuring smile but all that did was upset her more.}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 I hugged my niece as her crying slowly disappeared. I could feel her tears on my chest. I suddenly realized I was almost naked. During this whole time someone, probably Agnes, had pulled a sheet over me. It had fallen down around my waist.  I could suddenl
y feel air circulating underneath me.}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 Finally Jen\'92s tears stopped falling and my niece looked up at me. \'93You\'92re not going to send me up North so you can be with her?\'94}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 I looked down at her and knew she would be all right, for now. It would be different between us. Every day seemed to bring out a new side to my niece. It was like looking at a diamond. A thousand little sparkles glinted off of it, as you looked at it from 
different angles, beautiful but ever changing. \'93You\'92re not going anywhere, Jen. Who\'92s going to keep Mary out of trouble in fifth grade next year if you\'92re freezing your butt off in Minnesota?\'94}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 Jen gave me a half smile. \'93You\'92d miss me, Gene. A lot more than Mary would miss me, I bet.\'94}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch \'93}{\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 You know I would, Jen. Now, go to your room and let me talk to Agnes, okay?\'94}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 Jen gave me a little smile and nodded her head. Then suddenly the manure hit the rotary cooling device, again. \'93Who\'92s Agnes?\'94 Jen looked over to where Sunny was still sitting. }
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 Even for someone reaching forty I was still limber enough to put my foot in my own mouth. Not just once but repeatedly \'93I\'92m sorry, I need to talk to Sunny.\'94}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch \'93}{\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 You called her Agnes, twice.\'94 Jen was insistent, that was bad for me.}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 I looked over at Sunny/Agnes and she gave a small shrug. I looked back down at Jen. \'93Sorry, I must have a concussion. Her name IS Sunny.\'94}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch \'93}{\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 You sure?\'94}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch \'93}{\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 Absolutely, Miss Mary Kowalski.\'94}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 From the look Jen gave me you would of thought I left the toilet seat up. \'93You\'92re about as funny as a rock, Gene. Are you really going to be okay?\'94 Jen looked past me, towards Sunny. Something wasn\'92t right about a seven year old defending me against a woma
n four times older than she was. }
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch \'93}{\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 I\'92ll be fine Jen. I just need to talk to Sunny, that\'92s all.\'94}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 My niece got up and looked at Sunny. \'93Don\'92t hurt him again, please?\'94}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 I don\'92t know what Sunny did but Jen turned around and walked back out of the bedroom. I watched her close the door and instead of slamming it she closed it extra carefully.  Even with all the problems of raising a preteen girl, I thought, I was still a luc
ky guy. But then again the day was still early.}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 I looked at the door for a while and got myself together. I had to tell Sunny/Agnes about my past.  Just telling her I couldn\'92t be the master she wanted wouldn\'92t do. I\'92d have to tell and even show her why her new boyfriend got out of the service, only four
 months into his fourth hitch. I hoped I wouldn\'92t tell her too much but this would be a first for me. No one knew everything, not even my old shrink at the VA Hospital.}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 I turned around to see Sunny sitting on the floor were she fell. I took her hand and tugged a little and she stood. \'93What happened Gene?\'94}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 I wrapped my arms around her as her eyes searched mine. \'93I just shut down. The doctors say it\'92s has to do with something that happened while I was in the service. One doc called it post-trauma or post-traumatic something or other. I think it was just a bun
ch of bull shit for something they couldn\'92t fix. It hasn\'92t happened in a long time but I\'92m better now. I guess I need to tell you why I can\'92t give you what you want.\'94}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 Sunny nodded her head. \'93If that\'92s what you want.\'94 She had a look on her face that said she wasn\'92t convinced that I was alright but she let it pass. Instead she looked at me and said, \'93I\'92m sorry I got crazy on you but I\'92m desperate for someone. I really tho
ught you were the one.\'94  I don\'92t know where Jen got the idea that we\'92d be a family.\'94 Sunny looked at me. \'93Sure you don\'92t want to go to the hospital?\'94}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 I smiled back at her but didn\'92t say anything. She went crazy? I knew crazy. I was so crazy even the military didn\'92t want me anymore. When someone gets out of the service they get what's called a DD214. Its proof you were in and got out. All sorts of inform
ation is on it. Some is in English and some in a number code. One set of numbers tells the recruiter if you can return to active duty. Mine tells the reader that women and small children go first, before me. \'93Sunny, could you sit down. I have something to 
show you.\'94}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 As Sunny sat down on the bed I went to my closet. I slipped on a pair of pants and a t-shirt. After I was presentable, I went into the back corner. It was in the back corner just like I left it. I wonder how many other vets have a box in their closet or ba
sement that contains their whole life while in uniform. I guess mine wasn\'92t much different then others. Mine contained more than the usual stuff. In it was the secret life I had for almost two years. }
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 I carried the box to the bed and opened it. The flag was still on top. I unfolded it and placed it on her lap. It was my old unit flag. The yellow flag was given to me when I left.  I looked at Sunny as her fingers ran over the emblem. It was something tha
t said it all. The World War two inspired design had a bee wearing a sailor\'92s hat. Of course, the cover, as we called the white hat, was raked down over his eye, very stylish. He, and it was a he, looked like he were serious.  If there was any doubt it was
 erased by the machine gun the bee was holding.}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 Before Jennifer came to stay with me, I was bored once and arranged everything in the box. I started at the beginning of my service and sorted everything by time line. So the top picture was graduation from Boot Camp. \'93This is my graduation picture from Gr
eat Lakes NTC. I was seventeen.\'94 I looked over to Sunny. I never thought I\'92d be opening my life to someone else.}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 Sunny looked close trying to find my face from almost twenty-three years ago. \'93Everyone looks so young, Gene. Which one are you?\'94}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch \'93}{\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 I\'92m on the bottom row, fourth from the left.\'94 Inside I winced. Growing up I was a real dork. I guess that was why I only had one real girlfriend in High School.}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 Her fingers went under my head, lifted, and angled it so she could get a better comparison.  She looked at me and stared at the picture again. \'93Gods Gene, you look like a kid!\'94 Sunny\'92s smile was real for the first time today. \'93Look at your ears!\'94 She was p
ointing to the picture again.}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 With everything that had gone on, I had to smile back. \'93Thanks a bunch, Sunny. Remember, I was still a kid. I was seventeen back then but even then the oldest was about twenty.\'94}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 I looked at the blond next to me and knew she would be gone soon. \'93Look Sunny, I\'92m sorry I called you Agnes in front of Jen. I was pretty much out of it.\'94}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch \'93}{\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 That\'92s okay Gene. It really doesn\'92t make any difference if she knows or not, not anymore, anyway.\'94 Sunny looked at me and that look told me everything. She might want to come back deep down inside, but she wouldn\'92t.}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 Now I felt better about I was about to do. This would guarantee she never came back here.}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 I reached into the box and pulled out the first picture. I went on to tell her about the two ships I served on through my first eight years. The pictures continued to fly out of the box. There were pictures of Newport News, Norfolk Virginia and Portsmouth 
Navy Bases here in the states. All the places I saw including Guantanamo Bay in Cuba. Then there were the pictures of Gibraltar, Naples, Italy and Istanbul, Turkey and the cruises in The Atlantic and to keep the Mediterranean Sea safe from fishing boats, R
ussian spy ships and hookers. Then there was the transfer to an aircraft carrier out of San Diego and West Pac. That meant not only San Diego and Pearl Harbor but Subic Bay in the Philippines, Japan, and Australia. I was nervous about the rest, especially 
what was to come. I finally ran out of things to say and the pictures on her lap had grown to the point where they threatened to fall over. }
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 I told her about my volunteering when my third, four-year hitch came up. It was for the Naval Construction Battalions and switching from Interior Communications to Electrician\'92s Mate, which wasn\'92t that big of a move. By then I was an E-6, a First Class Pet
ty Officer. It was a fairly rapid advancement back then. I guess my actually wanting to go to Quonset Point, Rhode Island and the CB\'92s helped. Then there were two years of preparation and training before being sent to a place called Vietnam. }
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 I showed her the pictures I took of DaNang before we moved in, in force. The beach was white and the water was a perfect blue. It was hard to tell in black and white pictures, so I told her if she wanted to know how blue the water was all she had to do was
 look in the mirror at her eyes. She looked at me and I actually thought I saw the bright blue of the water in her eyes.  You might recall years later there was a series called China Beach on TV. I guess it was supposed to be DaNang. That program had nothi
ng on the real thing during the early years. She smiled and said how it looked like some of the beaches she went to in California.}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 We shuttled our personal gear from Saigon to DaNang. All the equipment sailed into DaNang\'92s natural harbor. Then we went to work. It was the usual thing for a U.S. Navy Construction Battalion. We extended and improved the runway, built housing and dug bunk
ers and emplacements. We extended the piers and even got a dredge to deepen the harbor. Of course, we beefed up the defenses around the base with trenches and obstacles. Even with everything going on it was almost bankers\'92 hours for us. Our Marine detachme
nt provided most of the security but we helped with that and we did get some time to go to town.}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 To lighten the explanation I mentioned some of the hot spots, if you can call them that, off base. The bars were okay but quickly got better as more money flowed into them. Then the girls that went with them improved as well. It was in one of those bars th
at we celebrated my promotion to E-7 (Chief Petty Officer). I even laughed when I told her about almost losing my new rank in a bar fight that same night. Then there was the ever present Catholic Church, orphanage, and school. They seemed to be in every to
wn that had running water. }
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 There was a certain French charm to the place. Vietnam was still considered French Indochina and everything showed that influence. There wasn\'92t much danger to us back then. Any enemy activity in the South was limited to guerrillas. Most of the real activit
y was in the North where they were still dividing the country in half. }
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 The last picture on her lap was one of the local Catholic Missionary School in DaNang. As part of our work, we did a lot of so-called community work. We used too do some of the same things all over New England. Mostly it was natural disasters and such, but
 it kept our skills up.  Here the biggest was practically rebuilding the school, from the ground up. I told Sunny that it was her tax dollars at work. To which she smiled and told me she was probably still in school back then, herself.}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 Time for the hard part, I thought. I looked down into the almost empty box. This picture was upside down. I thought I had put them all face up, oh well. I turned it over for a second and there she was. I handed Sunny the picture, face down. \'93What\'92s this, G
ene?\'94 She touched the edges but didn\'92t turn it over.}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch \'93}{\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 It\'92s the reason I can\'92t give you what you want. Turn the picture over, Sunny.\'94 For some reason I sounded and acted very calm, even though I was shaking inside. Sunny/Agnes was the first person I\'92d ever shown this picture to.}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 Sunny turned the photo over and there she was. Sunny stared at it for the longest time, till she looked back up at me. \'93Who\'92s the girl, Gene?\'94}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch \'93}{\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 Her name was Ha\'92ng Hai. She lived in a village outside of DaNang. Most of her time was spent at the Catholic school. She only went home on weekends.\'94 I looked at my hands and they were steady as a rock.}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 Sunny thought about what I\'92d said. I figured she would have just accused me of being a child molester. I wanted her to never come back and I didn\'92t care about the reason. That was what I hoped, anyway.}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch \'93}{\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 She\'92s adorable.\'94 I thought Sunny was trying to gauge what kind of pervert I was. }
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 I looked over towards Sunny. \'93She was seventy pounds of dynamite. She was like any young girl. Jennifer reminds me of her, sometimes. Her emotions could flip around in a heartbeat. One minute she was smiling and the next she would stomp off mad as hell at 
something so insignificant it would make me laugh. That only made things worse.  She\'92s why nothing is going to happen between Jen and I. Every time I see her I see Ha\'92ng.\'94}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 I watched Sunny looking at the picture. Why had I told her that? I wanted her to leave, not understand why I was so screwed up in the head.}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 Sunny looked at me. Not with disgust but curiosity. I wanted her to hate me and leave. \'93It sounds like you loved her Gene.\'94}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch \'93}{\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 It was more than just love, Sunny. I loved her more than anyone I\'92ve ever known. You talked about heart and soul. She had mine and still does.\'94 I stopped and looked down.  I had to stop this. I was a fucking coward. I didn\'92t want to put into words those t
hings I saw, heard and felt so long ago.}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch \'93}{\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 She loved you. I can see it in her eyes.\'94}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 Now I was getting upset. I wanted; no I needed her to leave. This wasn\'92t easy because a small part of me still wanted my blond lover to stay. \'93I need to tell you why you have to go.\'94 I took a deep breath. \'93I\'92m bad news, Sunny.\'94 I looked into her eyes. Was 
there hope in them? I had to crush it. }
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch \'93}{\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 This little girl, that you find so adorable, was supposed to be my wife. I had her parents blessing, I had her love and her body. We made love a hundred times. Every chance we could get we\'92d be together.\'94 I wanted to tell Sunny that the sex was great, not
 just because she was so young but the conversations and jokes she had heard in school, which didn\'92t translate into English too well. I had to explain the phrase \'93fucking like rabbits\'94, which kind of broke the mood because she started hoping around on all 
fours. I had just put in the paperwork for her whole family to move here. I told her all about North Carolina and even described a house just like this, that we\'92d live in.\'94 I thought about what Ha\'92ng told me about the salesman. Sunny just stared at me, her
 fingers stroking the picture she held. \'93I guess that\'92s why I bought it. This was to be our bedroom. The bed you\'92re sitting on was going to be our wedding bed.\'94}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 It wasn\'92t pleasant to say, but from the look of confusion on Sunny\'92s face it was working. I handed her a few more pictures of Ha\'92ng and myself.  They were the ones of us at different places, doing the tourist thing in Saigon. Then there was the little reso
rt down south towards the border with Thailand.  There were pictures of the two of the two of us and  Sergeant Hill hitting the, so called hot spots. There was even a group photo of the senior staff and NCOs\'92. Ha\'92ng was front row center between me and my S
kipper. He never smiled and I was on the other side grinning like a gorilla that found a bunch of bananas.}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 I wondered if Keel ever got out of the Marines or he made good on his threat to stay in for the duration. If he did he probably made Gunnery Sergeant, at least once. That was his life long dream. My Commanding Officer had done good, as we say. He was even 
a nice guy for being an Annapolis graduate and ring knocker.                                         }
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 I looked at the blond sitting there, staring at the pictures. \'93Don\'92t let your eyes fool you,\'94 I continued. \'93You\'92re more like Ha\'92ng than Jennifer is. That girl trusted me, just like you want to trust me. Anything I wanted to do with her or to her she not on
ly let me do but encouraged me. Any request I made, any stray thought, or any idea she would do. She trusted me to keep her safe forever. I was her Big Chief.\'94 }
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 I pointed to the picture. \'93See the guy with the kaki hat? Everyone was wearing blue ball caps except for four of us. \'93That\'92s me after I made E-7. That is Ha\'92ng Hai next to me.  That guy way in the back is, or was, my boss, Lieutenant Commander Hargrove. He
 made Admiral a while ago. He\'92s a really great guy for an officer.  He and his wife came down a few months ago to have dinner with us.\'94 }
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 I really had to stop being the nice guy. This was supposed to be goodbye, not a travelogue I just couldn\'92t resist though. \'93This is a picture of our last trip to Saigon and the Buddhist Temple there.\'94}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 Sunny was looking at one of the few color pictures. The colors seemed bright as ever and then there was ever present statue of Buddha himself looking over everything. \'93She looks very happy. So do you.\'94 }
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch \'93}{\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 You know nothing.\'94 I was starting to get mad at her now. I didn\'92t want to get mad and lose control again. She talked about trusting someone, hell she wanted to trust me. I was the last one she should trust. \'93You have no idea how horrible the world really 
is, Sunny. You talk about Alex and what he did and how he broke your trust. You\'92re still alive and the last person that trusted me is dead because I wasn\'92t there.\'94 }
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 I knew I was telling her more than I wanted her to know. The trouble was I couldn\'92t stop myself. It all came pouring out. \'93You have no idea how much I loved her. She was the one. The, one in a lifetime someone I would have given my life for, without a mome
nts hesitation and I failed her.\'94}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 I looked down into the box. There were two large brown envelopes in the bottom. When I got out of the service, I\'92d sealed them with tape. Now the tape was old and dried out. The seals were broken with age. I didn\'92t want to do this but, some where inside I 
knew she wouldn\'92t just leave me alone.}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 I reached in and pulled the first one out. As it opened, the remains of the yellowed tape flaked and dissolved in my hand. Sunny/Agnes didn\'92t say a word as eight little rectangular boxes fell into her lap. \'93Open them, Agnes,\'94 I ordered. She reached for the
 first one and looked at me. \'93They won\'92t bite you.  Go ahead, open them,\'94 I demanded.}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 She opened it with shaking fingers. The first one had a profile of the first president of the United States inside a heart looking back at her. She gave me a questioning look as I turned around and showed her the all most invisible scar on my back from the
 shrapnel wound. \'93That\'92s one of two Purple Hearts. I got one for not being able to get out of the way fast enough. The grenade that did this killed a Marine and wounded two of us. The Marine that got killed was nicknamed Dickie. I can\'92t remember his real n
ame. That was the first time someone actually shot at me.\'94}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 Then came the usual awards for just getting through military life. I even had a good conduct medal. That was before I got into another bar fight in San Diego. It really wasn\'92t my fault. At least that\'92s what I told the Skipper. A couple more ribbons for bei
ng in the wrong place at the wrong time. }
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 Sunny put the second Purple Heart next to the rest of the medals on the bed. She had left them open, side by side. I don\'92t know why but it reminded me of the presentation musters we use to have. Little boxes in a row with the medals waiting to be pinned on
. If you were lucky Lieutenant Commander Hargrove would pin it to your blouse and exchange a salute. If your luck had run out it was pinned to the flag then sent to your loved ones.}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch   }
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 The last box had a red ribbon with a thin blue stripe down the middle. Attached was a star, just like a western sheriff would wear. \'93That\'92s called a bronze star,\'94 I told her. \'93There was a very bad joke that was going around, that it was one of the highest 
awards you can get and still live. I don\'92t remember the details how I got it but we killed a lot of them that day.\'94 It was a lie of course but a necessary one. They killed a lot of us too. James, my bulldozer operator was shot off the Cat he was driving wh
en all hell broke loose.  We were clearing a patch of ground on a hill for a firebase when those little cock suckers just popped up out of the dirt. We lost two from my group and three Marines that day. There were two Silver Stars given out to the widows.\'94
}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 I looked down at my hands. I was still holding it together pretty well. I didn\'92t tell her that the citation said I led a small group as the Viet Minh tried to overrun us with repeated attacks. It was only Sergeant Keel\'92s returning with his patrol that stop
ped the day from becoming a whole lot worse. The more I looked at the ribbons the more I remembered. Even now, with everything we were reading in the newspapers and on TV, I really wanted to go back. I wanted to feel as happy again as I was with Ha\'92ng. I w
anted to hear her little voice call me her Big Chief. I had to tell Sunny everything.}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 I reached for the last envelope. That was one that should stay closed. The one I should have burned the minute I came back to the States. The glue was gone from this one as well. I opened it and just dumped the contents on her lap. A couple of plain envelo
pes slid out first. Then came eight by ten pictures in color and black and white, pages of after-action reports, descriptions and accounts of what happened the night she was tortured and murdered. They poured out of the envelope and started to slide to the
 floor. }
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 The last thing out of the envelope were two gold plated dog tags. One as shiny as the day I bought it in Saigon. The other was mangled and ripped. The only thing you could read on that one now was McGuire, Ge.... The rest of it was missing. It wasn\'92t spotl
ess like the other one. This one was tarnished and had several shades of brown on it.  }
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 It was only after her death that I got most of the medals. I went crazy after Ha\'92ng died. In my hate some good Sailors and Marines followed me, knowing, full well, the reason for the, so-called patrols. Then there was the final ambush to kill the man that 
led the attack on Ha\'92ng\'92s village. Back then, the communist irregulars were called Viet Minh. Now the TV and Newspapers call them Viet Cong or Charlie. Who ever they were, they were from the same provinces that they fought in. Some were South Vietnamese de
serters, some really believed Uncle Ho, others were \'91volunteers\'92 taken from their villages by threat or force. The commander of this enemy unit was one of the locals, who was a true believer. That is until I showed him Ha\'92ng\'92s dogtag and he suddenly realiz
ed he wasn\'92t going back for interrogation.}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 This all came at a price I was willing to pay. I never asked anyone to follow us. The us was Sergeant Keel and me. By the time I had gotten back from Saigon he had already found two of the hit squad and had intel on more of them.  Some of my friends died a
nd some just didn\'92t care anymore. I was one of those in the last group . Towards the end of all this, my skipper couldn\'92t look away anymore as word got out about what we were doing. That\'92s why they let me out early and gave me an honorable discharge. I ben
t over and reached for the one picture that would end it all. }
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 Sunny to her credit didn\'92t flinch as the contents dropped onto the floor. She caught the tags and held them. Her thumb was tracing the sharp edges of the damaged tag. Her fingernail scraped off some of the caked on brown. I looked at her hands and wondered
 how many times she\'92d wash them before realizing you could never wash it away once it was in your mind.}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 I handed her the picture as she looked at me. She was white as the sheets on the bed. I could hear the tags rattle as her hands shook. She didn\'92t look good. \'93Look at the picture, Agnes. Look at someone who trusted me like you want to trust me.\'94}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 One of the guys in the squad that found her took the pictures and later the brass had them blown up for the investigation. They wanted to know how the Viet Minh got so close to the mountain without being spotted or any alarms going off. It wasn\'92t that a do
zen men, women and children were executed. The pictures I had were the copies and my skipper had a mysterious fire at headquarters that burned the originals and the negatives. They never found out how it started, not that they really tried to hard. My gues
s is the skipper set the fire to end it for everyone.}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 Sunny looked at the picture as she started to shake. It was difficult but I think she recognized Ha\'92ng hanging spread eagle between two palm trees. Her naked, bullet riddled body darkened, even deeper, with her blood. There under her throat was one bright 
spot that drew the eye. From a distance it looked like a spot of sunlight around her neck. Sunny looked at the tag and then at the picture.  Suddenly she hunched over and started to gag through the tears that had started to flow.}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 Now she knew what she was holding in her hands and what was under her fingernails.}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 My voice shattered the swirling images in her head. \'93The villagers they didn\'92t kill said they used my dogtag around her neck as a target. They were lousy shots. It took almost a half-hour to hit the tag. My lover, my best friend, my future wife...,\'94 I look
ed down at Sunny gagging and gasping for air ... \'93the one who had my heart. The one who put all of her trust in me died long before that. I was told she kept calling for me. Her last words were, \'93Big Chief\'94. That was her nickname for me. I was looking forw
ard to her thirteenth birthday party in a couple of months.\'94}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 That was when she bolted off the bed and rushed into the bathroom. }
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 I walked out into the hall as I heard her throw up. }
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 I was the biggest bastard in the whole fucking universe.  For some reason I felt nothing, not anger, sadness or regret for what I did. I had to do it, I told myself.}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 I closed the door and walked to Jennifer\'92s room.}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 I knocked once on the door and opened it before Jen could say anything. She was sitting cross-legged on her bed.}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 Jen stared at me. She was still wearing the old work shirt. On her, it was big enough so she could tuck her feet under it. She was hugging herself as if she was cold.  \'93Stay out!  You spoiled everything!\'94 Her eyes were black as coal. I walked up to the bed
 and knelt beside it. \'93I SAID GET OUT!\'94 Jennifer screamed at me.}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 What had I done to her, I wondered? If what she told me was true, she and Alice were the ones that brought Sunny here. What the hell did they think was going to happen? I was tired of being the ogre. I\'92d disappointed one woman in my life, today. I didn\'92t w
ant Jennifer to be number two. \'93Jen, talk to me. What was going on here? Why are you so angry?\'94}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 Jen just stared at me for a while. Finally, she broke eye contact as she looked down. You\'92re in love with her.\'94 }
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 It sounded simple enough. \'93No I\'92m not, it\'92s over. Sunny is leaving today, Jen.  She want\'92s to be at the airport by noon.\'94 I looked over at the clock on her dresser. It was already after ten.}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 I guess she wasn\'92t in any mood to fight either because Jen\'92s eyes were slowly changing back. \'93She told me that,\'94 my Jennifer mumbled. She really wasn\'92t looking at me. It was as if she was looking through me. \'93I thought she was trying to be funny when she t
old me. She was supposed to stay. Why would she want to leave us? \'94 Why is she doing this to us, Gene?\'94 The anger seemed to be melting away from her.}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 I looked at my niece. Her toes were peeking out from under my old shirt. She seemed like she really wanted to know so I tried to be as honest as I could. \'93We don\'92t have much in common. Besides, she\'92s the second girlfriend you\'92ve cussed out. I don\'92t know wh
y anyone would want to stay with us.\'94 I looked down at my hands and they were clenched tight. That was the same thing Jen did when she was upset. \'93You say you want me to find someone, then all you do is blow-up at them. First it was Alice at Chris\'92 now you
\'92re yelling at Sunny. That\'92s probably another reason why she\'92s leaving.\'94 }
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 Jen tried to give me the evil eye. \'93It\'92s not my fault.\'94 She was trying to get mad again but she was too tired. \'93She said you were great and everything. You made her laugh and made her feel good inside. Then she said you weren\'92t the one? I don\'92t understand 
Gene, one what?\'94}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 Everything Jen had said was how I felt about Sunny. That was how I felt before anyway. Before she wanted to change me and put conditions on what we could have. All I wanted was everything. How hard was that to understand? I was going to be forty soon and s
till single. I hadn\'92t thought about marriage and a family since Ha\'92ng died. The women I\'92d been with, for the most part, had been fun. Every time someone got close, though, something happened. I looked at Jen. She wanted an answer \'93The one she wanted to be 
with forever, I guess. I\'92m not that one.\'94}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 I wondered if Sunny told her why she couldn\'92t stay. Jennifer didn\'92t give me a chance}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch \'93}{\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 You\'92re in love with her when you\'92re supposed to be in love with me.\'94 Jen put her hand on top of mine. Her little fingers held on to me. I felt a tingling that started running up my arm, the kind that you can become addicted to very quickly. }
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 The anger was melting in her eyes and her voice. \'93I won\'92t get you mad, anymore, I promise. She just makes you mad sometimes. Just like Mommy and Daddy did when they were together. I promise, I\'92ll be a better girlfriend than anybody else in the whole world.
\'94 She looked into my eyes. There wasn\'92t any anger, just concern. I wondered, more than once  who was the real adult in this family. \'93Are you still IN love with me,\'94 she asked? }
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 I didn\'92t want to go there.  I thought I knew what her definition of love was.  \'93I am, Jennifer, but it\'92s just not the same kind of love Sunny and I shared.\'94}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 Her beautiful hazel eyes looked at me. Finally she broke the silence before I could say something stupid that would hurt both of us. Jen took a deep breath, \'93When we were at Chris\'92 with Alice, you said, you can love a lot of people but you can only be IN l
ove with one.\'94 If I didn\'92t know better I would have thought Jennifer had taken drama lessons. She stopped right there and kept looking at me. \'93Remember?\'94 she finished. My niece, my pint size girlfriend just sat there. Her feet still tucked under my work sh
irt and her hand on mine. She was patiently waiting for some words of wisdom from her uncle and her boyfriend. }
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch \'93}{\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 I was wrong, Jen.\'94}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 Just as quick as she covered my hand she released me and sat up straight. \'93No, your not. You\'92re never wrong! You told me I was your girlfriend!\'94 Now she was getting upset again.}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 I was getting tired of all this fighting. I took her hand this time and looked into her eyes. \'93Jen, you are and you always will be my girlfriend. But you ARE going to grow up, and you ARE going to college, get married and have children of your own. You\'92re 
going to make me proud. I\'92ll love you as much then as I do now, probably even more. }
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 I had to tell her something. If I didn\'92t, I\'92d be hearing about it all the way to Myrtle Beach and probably until school started in September. \'93Jen, love is a little more complicated than just yes and no. Take me and Alice for instance. I loved Alice, and I
 was IN love with her too. That part of my life is in the past. Part of me loves Sunny and I will for a long time. That doesn\'92t mean I want to marry her or anything. We\'92re too different to be together for long. You saw what happened after a couple of days.
\'94 }
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 Jennifer looked at me and scooted back to the headboard.  \'93So what are you going to do?\'94}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 I really didn\'92t want to get into this anymore. Why the hell couldn\'92t Jen just leave it alone? \'93I\'92m not going to do anything, Jen. She\'92s leaving and that\'92s that.\'94}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 Jen snapped at me. \'93I still think she\'92s coming back.\'94 My niece curled up tighter as she put her chin on her knees. \'93Alice said that if anyone could make you happy Sunny would. So why don\'92t you want to marry her?\'94}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 What was wrong with this kid, anyways? Wasn\'92t she listening? \'93Jennifer, I never said anything about getting married to Sunny. I was talking about Sunny leaving\'85\'94 I looked at the clock, \'93\'85in about an hour and fifteen minutes.\'94 Shit, we had to hurry if she w
as to make her plane.}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 Jen\'92s eyes narrowed down into a squint as she looked at me. \'93Sure I do but...\'94}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 I really didn\'92t want her to finish the sentence but I couldn\'92t help myself. It was kind of like a knock-knock joke. One person said knock-knock.  Out of pure reflex you say, who\'92s there? As soon as you do you know it\'92s going to be a very bad joke and you j
ust walked into it. So I said, \'93But what?\'94  Talk about walking into it.}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch \'93}{\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 You need a wife and you\'92re getting older.\'94 }
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 All I could do was stare at this seven-year-old. {\rtlch\ltrch\dbch\hich\i\loch\i Where did she get that?} I thought I was already there. \'93Wait a minute Jen, you were the one wanting Sunny to marry me so I could adopt you? What do you do? You pick a fight with her and call her names.}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 Jen stared at me with her hazel eyes. \'93It\'92s all your fault. I hate you too!}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch  }{\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 I was very confused.  There was something about her that told me she wasn\'92t really mad at me. \'93Tell you what? Get dressed and we\'92ll take Sunny to the airport and then we\'92ll get something to eat and talk about it. Okay?\'94}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch \'93}{\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 NO!\'94 Jen yelled at me. \'93I\'92m not going\'94 There was no real anger in her voice. She hadn\'92t moved from the head of the bed. Her arms were still around her knees and her chin rested there. There had to be something else going on.}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch \'93}{\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 It wasn\'92t really a question, Jen. Get ready, NOW,\'94I barked at her. \'93We\'92re leaving in ten minutes.\'94}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 I walked back to my room and looked in. Sunny/Agnes was sitting at the foot of the bed. She had put on a lime green version of the uniform she wore the first time. As warm as the color was and no matter how it molded to her body something was missing. I di
dn\'92t see the fire or brilliance in her blue eyes. She was in the middle of removing what was left of her makeup.}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 As she wiped it away, she looked at me. I could still see tears in her eyes and sadness in the way she sat there. \'93Gene, I\'92m sorry. I had no idea about any of this. Alice said you went to Vietnam a long time ago and something happened there. I\'92m sorry abou
t loosing your...girlfriend like that.\'94}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 I didn\'92t want to start this all over again. It was too painful the first time. So what did I do? I hurt her again.  \'93Jen will be ready in a couple of minutes. I\'92ll take your bag out to the car.\'94 I grabbed the handle and pulled it out to the driveway. }
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 As I had asked, Jennifer came out of her room as Sunny stood waiting at the front door. Everyone got in without saying a word. Jen was wearing a blue and yellow top that reminded me of my old high school colors. Then came the black shorts. Even in the boys
 department Jen had a problem finding the right size.}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 It was the shortest and the quietest ride to the airport ever. I don\'92t know what they were thinking but I was finding it hard not to say something. I wanted to explain to Jen, once again, what was going on. I looked over at Sunny/Agnes. She was sitting str
aight in her seat looking forward with her eyes closed. I wanted to tell her that it wasn\'92t anyone's fault. It was just something that just would not happen.}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 Suddenly there was the entrance to the airport and just as quickly I pulled up to the National departure area. Even before I put the Oldsmobile in park, my ex-lover had her hand on the door handle. \'93We\'92re coming in Sunny.\'94 I decided that, for some reason, 
Agnes didn\'92t live here anymore.}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 She turned to me and looked at me with her blue eyes,\'94 Why? I know this airport as well as any other.\'94 Her eyebrows furrowed into a frown. \'93I\'92m pretty sure I can find my way to the gate. If I can\'92t I\'92ll ask a friend, like Evee.\'94}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 Sure it was a slam at me but as things went it could have been worse, a lot worse. I had just turned her dream upside down. \'93I know, Agnes, but we want to.\'94}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch \'93}{\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 What ever floats your boat.\'94 Agnes jerked the handle, opened the door and walked out.}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 I went around to the back of the car and pulled out her bag. Sunny grabbed it out of my hand and walked through the glass doors. I took Jen\'92s hand and followed. }
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 Jen squeezed it and I looked down. }
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch \'93}{\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 Agnes?\'94 She whispered up at me.}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch \'93}{\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 I\'92ll tell you later,\'94 I promised. }
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 She really did know where she was going because, all too soon, the gate for the JFK flight was staring me in the face. She just stood there looking at it. I looked down at Jen and she was staring at the back of her head, just like I was. There was Evee was
 at the desk checking something with the ramp agent. I wondered if she ever went home. She was so busy with what was in front of her she didn\'92t even see her friend.}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 I was so busy looking at Evee and what was going on that I missed what was going on right in front of me. I suddenly looked down as Sunny, no that wasn\'92t right, as Agnes stood facing me. She was looking up into my eyes as she clenched her hands in front of
 her. \'93I wish,\'94 she told me. Her voice was tight with emotion. \'93I wish..\'94 she started again, \'93...there was some way I could make all of this go away and start over.\'94 She looked down at her hands. \'93I wish I could wrap my arms around you and never let you go
, but I can\'92t. I wished for a lot of things, Gene, but you\'92re not the Master of my heart I\'92ll never get the chance to prove it. I wanted to be with you the only way I know how.\'94 }
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 I looked at her wanting to say something but didn\'92t. I could feel Jen standing next to me. The more Sunny talked the more I\'92d have to explain to Jennifer. I could feel myself weakening as she stood there. Agnes waited for an answer, a hug, a goodbye, somet
hing. Instead, I gave her nothing. }
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 The realization that I wasn\'92t going to even talk to her finally broke her. The tears started to fall again. Agnes shook her head and looked down at Jennifer. With the same gracefulness she had shown at the side of my bed, she crouched down in front of my n
iece.}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 I looked down as the two of them stared at each other. The tears were still falling down Agnes face. \'93Jennifer?\'94 Agnes whispered to her. It was so quiet I could barely make out the words. \'93We could have had fun, you and me. I wanted to be your friend and m
aybe even your big sister, but you wanted more.\'94 My...what was she now? She wasn\'92t my lover and not even my friend. In three weeks I\'92d see her one more time then she would be the memory she talked about. Who ever, or what ever, she was now kneeled there. A
s she bowed her head as she told Jen, \'93You wanted me to marry Gene and be your mother. You wanted me to do PTA and bake cookies for you.\'94 She raised her head just in time to see Jennifer wipe the first of many tears. \'93That\'92s not me Jen. You have this idea 
that everything around you and people are like your dolls and the bears in your room. You think all you have to do is move them around a little and they\'92ll do what you want.\'94}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 Jen looked at her. The sniffling had started. I knew Jen\'92s nose had started to run. \'93No it\'92s not,\'94 Jen pleaded. \'93It\'92s not like that. I wanted Gene to be happy.\'94 Then there was a deeper sound as Agnes pulled a tissue from her pocket and brought it to her ow
n nose. }
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 Why couldn\'92t this woman just leave us alone?}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch \'93}{\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 Yes it is. I knew someone once when I was a little older than you are. He was a lot older. I wanted so many things to happen, just like you read in stories. I wanted to be his girlfriend. I even wanted to be his wife. I played with my dolls and pretended 
they were us. Suddenly he was gone and I cried for weeks. I can\'92t do that again.\'94}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 Jen looked at the blond kneeling in front of her. \'93Why?\'94}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 That was my question as well.}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch \'93}{\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 I\'92m not a toy you can just move around, neither is your uncle. You\'92re playing a dangerous game and I quit!\'94 Agnes looked up at me then back at Jen. \'93Did you hear me? I quit, you win, Jennifer. I hope the two of you will be very happy together. I\'92m not pla
ying your game anymore\'94 }
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 As she rose to her feet, with the same gracefulness, I don\'92t know if she heard Jen whisper, \'93I don\'92t wanna win, Sunny. I\'92m sorry.\'94}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 I do know that Sunny turn around, took the handle of her bag, and walked to the gate door. During this farewell, if you can call it that, Evee had finally spotted us. She waited behind the check-in counter till Agnes made her move to the door then joined h
er.}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 As I watched them go through the door I felt a tug on my hand. I looked down to see the tears still falling down my niece\'92s cheeks. \'93I\'92m sorry, Uncle Gene. I didn\'92t want her to go.\'94}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 I kneeled down to be close to my niece. I slowly took both of her hands in mine. They were wet with her tears. \'93It just wasn\'92t going to happen, Jen. It\'92s not your fault.\'94}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 The tears had slowed as I took my thumb and stroked her cheek. I looked at my niece and wondered what was in store for us. No matter what Jen was there. She was always there. I\'92d forgotten everything that was said in her bedroom. I\'92d forgiven the hash word
s as soon as they were out of her mouth.  \'93Uncle Gene? Jennifer asked.}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch \'93}{\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 Yes, Jen?\'94}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch \'93}{\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 What now?\'94 Her hazel eyes looking at me. }
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch \'93}{\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 Lunch then home, I guess. Unless there\'92s something else you want to do?\'94}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 I barely noticed the shake of her head. That\'92s okay, I guess.\'94 I saw her look down then to either side before answering. \'93But are you going to get another girlfriend?\'94}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 I looked at her as she stared back, waiting. \'93I suppose so, why?\'94 With everything that had happened this ought to be good, I thought.}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch \'93}{\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 You seemed happier when Sun...Agnes was your girlfriend.\'94 Jen had used her real name for the first time. \'93Even when she was gone you were more fun than before. I don\'92t know how to explain it.\'94}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 I looked at my niece very closely, from the red eyes from all the crying, the runny nose to the beautiful hazel eyes. She was getting taller, again. I sighed a little, as it seemed like we went shopping almost every weekend. She wasn\'92t looking for somethin
g new but for something the next size up. I smiled to myself, what else was a boyfriend supposed to do but buy stuff for his girlfriend.}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch \'93}{\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 You explained it very well, Jen. I guess I will find someone eventually. But not now and not until your birthday. Okay?\'94}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch \'93}{\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 Sure, Gene.\'94 }
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 The little smile Jen gave me made me feel better. For about two minutes.}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 Evee came back through the gate and walked up to us. I was hoping for a hello. Instead I got a, \'93You\'92ve done enough damage here. You can leave now.\'94}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 I stood at the unexpected welcome. \'93Evee, I can explain. I...\'94 }
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch \'93}{\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 No don\'92t even try to weasel your way out of this Mister. You\'92ve hurt one of my dearest friends and now you want to make it better, with me? I don\'92t think so\'94, she snarled at me. Her face was turning red as she warned me. \'93You had your best chance and it j
ust walked on that plane.\'94 Evee\'92s face grew darker. \'93You hurt her bad, you bastard. God, here I thought you were different from my ex-husband.\'94 Evee rolled her eyes at me.  \'93 Now leave.\'94 With all the drama, she could muster Evee pointed towards the exit.}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch \'93}{\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 Wait a minute, Evee I can...\'94 Triple shit didn\'92t seem to cover it.}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 She wasn\'92t through with us, \'93I said both of you get the hell off my concourse right now. If you don\'92t I\'92ll call security.\'94}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 I looked down at Jennifer and wondered what Agnes had said to her. It couldn\'92t of been any worse than what I had said and done. \'93Let\'92s go Jen.\'94 I took her hand and walked out to the car.}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 As we climbed into the car, I felt physically and emotionally drained.  I looked at my niece and wondered what now?  Her face was still wet with tears as she huddled in the corner of the front seat. }
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 I leaned back in my own seat as fatigue took over. }
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch \'93}{\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 Uncle Gene?\'94}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 I must have dozed off, sitting in the car. I looked at Jen and, for an instant, saw Ha\'92ng Hai. Instead of brown hair and hazel eyes, I saw long straight black hair, brown flawless skin, and piercing black eyes that looked through me and into my soul.}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch \'93}{\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 What is \'91pour toujours\'91. It sounds different. Like another language?\'94 }
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 Double shit, I was talking in my sleep. \'93It\'92s French, Jen. It\'92s a very old Zen poem.}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch \'93}{\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 Zen, what\'92s that?\'94}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 Why couldn\'92t Ha\'92ng leave me alone? For years, I hadn\'92t consciously thought of her. My }
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 dreams had been free of those wonderful and terrible days. Now I even saw glimpses of her}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 when I was awake. \'93It\'92s part of the Buddhist religion in China and South East }
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 Asia.\'94}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 What does it, whatever you said, mean.\'94}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 I looked at my niece then leaned back and closed my eyes. Hang taught me }
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 Zen poetry in French, the second language of South Vietnam. My two years }
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 of High School French used to make her laugh. That is until I told her, Je veux vous tenir et aimer pour toujours. Her eyes went wide as it sunk in. \'93I want to hold you and love you forever.\'94 She understood my French perfectly that day.}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 She never laughed at how I spoke again.}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch \'93}{\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 It\'92s a poem about a regular guy who falls in love with a princess named Mori. Because he isn\'92t royalty they can\'92t be together and he has to leave. The poem was his final present to her.}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch \'93}{\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 It goes like this, }
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 L'arbre \'e9tait st\'e9rile des feuilles mais vous avez apport\'e9 un nouveau ressort. }
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 Longues pousses vertes, fleurs verdoyantes, promesse fra\'eeche. }
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 Mori, si j'oublie jamais ma gratitude profonde \'e0 toi, }
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 Laissez- moi br\'fbler dans l'enfer pour toujours.\'94 }
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 I took a breath as I realized I told Jen a secret that no one knew. It was a love poem. Lover\'92s who could not consummate their love. I didn\'92t know if she knew about Romeo and Juliet, yet, but this was hundreds of years before Shakespeare ever put quill to 
paper. Until that time no one knew I spoke anything but English. I hoped Jen wouldn\'92t ask how or why. I always was a terrible liar.  }
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch \'93}{\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 What does it mean?\'94}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 It was so easy to tell Jennifer the poem Ha\'92ng taught me. She was a natural born teacher.  All I had to do was repeat what she had taught me. A wrong answer got me a slap on the hand. A correct answer was rewarded by a quick kiss and a giggle. I thought I 
heard the same giggling in the back of my head. This time it was a comfort to me. }
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch \'93}{\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 It goes like this, Jen:}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 The tree was barren of leaves but you brought a new spring. }
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 Long green sprouts, verdant flowers, fresh promise. }
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 Mori, if I ever forget my profound gratitude to you, }
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 Let me burn in hell forever.\'94}
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 I wondered if it was Agnes I was talking about or Ha\'92ng. I had forgotten, after all these years, about everything she had given to me. They both wanted to give me everything they had. Now both were gone. }
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 
\par \pard\plain \ltrpar\s1\cf0{\*\hyphen2\hyphlead2\hyphtrail2\hyphmax0}\ql\rtlch\af2\afs20\lang1025\ltrch\dbch\af2\langfe1033\hich\f2\fs20\lang1033\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033 {\rtlch \ltrch\loch\f2\fs20\lang1033\i0\b0 When I got home, I dug out the phone number of the last doctor I\'92d seen after I left the service. I needed to make an appointment. I never did make the call. I didn\'92t realize how busy I\'92d be for the next three weeks.}
\par }