{\rtf1\fbidis\ansi\ansicpg1252\deff0\deflang1033\deflangfe1033{\fonttbl{\f0\fswiss\fprq2\fcharset0 Arial;}} \viewkind4\uc1\pard\ltrpar\nowidctlpar\qc\f0\fs20 Chapter 13\par A Hug and a Kiss\super\par \pard\ltrpar\nowidctlpar\nosupersub\par \par The drive to Chris\rquote Supper Club was pretty quiet. I think I was witnessing the shop till you drop syndrome in both of them. It was on the drive back down US 70 that I realized that we hadn\rquote t had anything to eat since around ten. Here it was almost four in the afternoon.\par \par This was the first time Sunny had been to Chris\rquote . I didn\rquote t know what she was expecting but any reservations she may have had were removed as the meal progressed. Maggie, the hostess, was very attentive and welcomed Sunny like she was a long lost sister. Her and Jennifer talked about school and Jens jumping to fifth grade. Somehow she managed to involve all three of us in her good natured ramblings as she got us seated.\par \par The food wasn\rquote t anything fancy but it was very good, as usual. I\rquote m not a big drinker but a Wild Turkey and water seemed in order when Sunny ordered Southern Comfort and coke. By the time we were finished I noticed the Jen was looking at Sunny differently as she was telling us about her schedule. My niece was slumped back in her chair. Something was going on between them. I couldn\rquote t figure out what but was sure any explosion between them would affect me.\par \par \ldblquote So when ARE you coming back?\rdblquote I asked. It seemed like a simple question. \par \par Sunny looked at us before she said anything. \ldblquote I\rquote ll be back for Jens\rquote birthday.\rdblquote\par \par Jen must have had her mind on something else because she suddenly jumped in her seat and focused her attention on Sunny. \ldblquote That\rquote s my birthday! I\rquote m going to be eight. Gene has a room for us at the Fish.\rdblquote\par \par \ldblquote That\rquote s the Dolphin, Jen.\rdblquote She ignored me. \par \par Sunny for her part leaned over to Jennifer and said, \ldblquote I know Jen. I agreed to fly Alice to Myrtle Beach for your birthday.\rdblquote\par \par Jen missed the part about Sunny flying Alice into Myrtle Beach. I\rquote m sure that would come, later. Probably as soon as she saw Sunny and Alice walking off the plane. \par \par Sunny looked at me. \ldblquote I know I wasn\rquote t invited but Alice doesn\rquote t like to flying commercial into little airports. It\rquote s not like it\rquote s a grass strip or anything. The Air Force has facilities there. Besides she had this idea that if I flew her up to Myrtle Beach on Wednesday you and I could spend some time together before Jens party on Friday. If you don\rquote t want me too I can still find a place somewhere till we leave on Sunday.\rdblquote \par \par I was crushed. Was this weekend that bad for her? That Sunny would even consider trying to find a room at the Redneck Riviera on Fourth of July weekend was painful. Besides it was unrealistic. Everything was booked solid for months.\par \par I reached across the table and took Sunnys\rquote hand. She didn\rquote t pull it back or flinch. The whole time I talked I held onto this one little piece of her. Sunny/Agnes never squeezed my hand. She never looked down to were we were touching. The worst part was she never looked up into my eyes. The woman that had captured my heart just by walking off of a plane had locked me out.\par \par \ldblquote Don\rquote t even think that, baby. I want to be with you as much as I can. You\rquote re a part of our life now,\rdblquote I pleaded. \ldblquote You said that I should face it, that we\rquote re in love. I am and I think...no, I know you are to. Don\rquote t throw up a wall now. It\rquote s a little too late for that.\rdblquote\par \par Finally Sunny raised her eyes to mine. They were filled with tears. There\rquote s this old song, \lquote It\rquote s called Breaking Up Is Hard to Do\rquote . So is staying together. I should know.\rdblquote \par \par I cursed Alice in my mind. Who in the hell gave her permission to get her fingers in my love life? And why did she have to tell Jennifer about her match making between Sunny and I. Then there was that stupid thing about us getting married and adopting Jennifer. Sunny and I were made for each other. If we didn\rquote t kill each other first. The jury as still out on the last part.\par \par As our eyes met I realized there are more ways to kill someone than the obvious ways. Just doing nothing was just as bad as doing the wrong thing. \par \par I took my other hand and wiped away a tear rolling down her cheek. \ldblquote Sunny? I love you and want you to be part of my life. I don\rquote t know were this is going to go or how long we have. But I\rquote m going to make the most of every second we have together. I don\rquote t know how you feel or what your thinking but I hope you want this to last a little longer than just a long weekend.\par \par I was concentrating so hard on trying to say the right things that the pain in my hand startled me. Sunny had taken her other hand and placed it over ours and squeezed very hard. Finally she said, \ldblquote Don\rquote t you think for one minute that I don\rquote t love you, Mr. Gene McGuire.\rdblquote The tears were flowing freely know even with the determination in her voice. I reached further across the table and put my free hand behind her neck and squeezed lightly. \ldblquote I fell for you that first time too.\rdblquote When I asked you to kiss me to shake off that pilot I thought it was just...I don\rquote t know? A diversion maybe? I didn\rquote t know what I was getting into except for all the bull that Alice and Jennifer were telling me in Chicago. I thought it was to good to be true. You know what they say about if it\rquote s to good to be true?\rdblquote\par \par Sunny looked down at our hands. \ldblquote Alice told me you were the best boyfriend she\rquote d ever had. When you were together you made her feel special. She even told me about the time you guys went dancing.\rdblquote\par \par Dancing? Alice and I didn\rquote t go dancing very often. \ldblquote I don\rquote t remember.\rdblquote\par \par Sunny smile a genuine smile for the first time since we left the house. \ldblquote She said you wouldn\rquote t remember. She said you have this loyalty thing inside of you. The person you come with is the one you leave with, no matter what. Let me give you a hint, Fantasyman\rdblquote Now her smile turned into a combination smirk and leer. \ldblquote The University of North Carolina?\rdblquote\par \par Still a blank. I was Alice\rquote s escort to several of those graduate student dinner/dance things. \par \par Sunny just shook her head and smiled even more. \ldblquote I didn\rquote t believe her when she said you wouldn\rquote t remember. Okay lover boy, just a couple of more hints. \ldblquote Valentines Day, Masters Program dinner? A tall brunette wearing a yellow sheath with her tits hanging out?\rdblquote\par \par The light bulb went off. Mention a pair of breasts would of been all it took. Was that young Grad Student wearing a yellow dress? Damn that was, what? Seven years ago? Alice probably remembered if she was wearing jewelry and even if it was real.\par \par Sunny lowered her head and turned to Jennifer. Double shit. I\rquote d forgotten about Jen while Sunny was talking about tits.\par \par \ldblquote Has Gene ever told you about him and Alice?\rdblquote Thankfully she was keeping the volume down. \par \par Unfortunately she was going somewhere a seven year old shouldn\rquote t go. At least not my seven year old.\par \par \ldblquote Sunny? Remember who you\rquote re talking to,\rdblquote I warned.\par \par Sunny looked at me and smiled. I\rquote ll keep it clean. You can tell her the good parts later, if you want. She turned away from me and was looking at Jennifer again. \par \par Jen for her part had her elbows on the table watching all this. The thought crossed my mind that being the responsible adult might be a little late seeing as the word \lquote tits\rquote were hanging out there, so to speak. She definitely looked interested as she watched both of us like she was looking at a tennis match.\par \par \ldblquote So has he?\rdblquote Sunny pressed on.\par \par Jen never stopped looking at both of us. \ldblquote Just that they were together a long time and she got mad at him because he didn\rquote t want to get married and left. When she came to visit she didn\rquote t look mad. Actually she was kinda happy and sad all together.\par \par \ldblquote That\rquote s pretty close. Except she wanted to change him and make him move to Chicago.\rdblquote\par \par Jennifer frowned at that little bit of information.\par \par I didn\rquote t want this discussion between the two of them to get side tracked to me. The less Jen knew the better. \ldblquote Sunny? We were talking about Miss Yellow sheath and her...umm...twins.\par \par Jen gave me a confused look. \ldblquote She had babies too? Wow!\rdblquote\par \par I\rquote d had it. I pulled my hands away and leaned back in the chair. I pointed to both of them. \ldblquote I give up! Go ahead and tell the story. Just remember this place closes at midnight.\rdblquote Now I was the one sitting back with my arms crossed. I didn\rquote t need to hear the story. I\rquote d been there.\par \par Sunny turned to Jen. \ldblquote Alice was in grad school at UNC.\rdblquote It wasn\rquote t exactily \lquote Once Upon A Time\rquote , but close.\par \par \ldblquote The dump on the hump.\rdblquote Jennifer mumbled.\par \par \ldblquote Huh.\rdblquote\par \par \ldblquote We hate them TarHeels. Gene and I are NC State all the way.\rdblquote Jen looked to me for conformation.\par \par I nodded\par \par Sunny looked at me. \ldblquote Isn\rquote t she a little young for in-state rivalries?\rdblquote\par \par \ldblquote What can I say? This is North Carolina. Loyalty starts in the womb here.\rdblquote I smiled at her. \ldblquote Get on telling her about my sad life.\par \par Now decades later, I wish I\rquote d kept my big mouth shut.\par \par Sunny shook her short blond hair. \par \par \ldblquote Anyway,\rdblquote she continued, \ldblquote Alice made, or rather forced Gene to take her to a dinner and dance at school. It was very formal and she squeezed him into a tuxedo.\rdblquote\par \par Jennifer's eyes got big as she looked at me. \ldblquote A penguin suit?\rdblquote\par \par I nodded. Jen had never seen me in a real suit, let alone a real formal tuxedo. Alice actually bought me the thing and I\rquote d worn it exactly twice. It was in the hall closet, next to some old uniforms, and had been taking up space since Alice left. I told myself wasn\rquote t going to get involved in this.\par \par \ldblquote So she drags him off to Chapel Hill.\rdblquote Sunny never stopped talking. \ldblquote Dinner was great. Gene danced enough to keep Alice happy. Made small talk, like grownups do, with her friends. Alice said it was a wonderful evening. The problem started as they were about to leave. Alice had to go to the bathroom and left him in a back corner so he wouldn\rquote t get into any trouble.\rdblquote\par \par Sunny looked at me. Her eyes were sparkling. Most guys can tell when they\rquote re in trouble. Her eyes may have sparkled but something told me watch out. \ldblquote Did you stay out of trouble, Fantasyman?\rdblquote \par \par I shrugged.\par \par Sunny turned back to Jennifer. Jen is absorbing every word. I should of stopped Sunny right there but it was to late. If she didn\rquote t get the whole story now I\rquote d be in for a lifetime of, Jen, pleading, bargaining, and moaning to tell her the whole story.\par \par \ldblquote So Alice comes out of the bathroom and there is this beautiful, young, brunette grad student press up against your uncle. She had her arms around his neck and he was just standing there. Alice said she looked like she was trying to hold on to him to keep from drowning.\rdblquote\par \par Sunny was right on so far. That was the problem. Why do girlfriend's have to have to have elephant memories? They never seemed to forget every one of my embarrassing moments.\par \par \ldblquote So Alice started walking up when this bimbo pulls down the front of her dress and flashes Gene. Alice said that they were the best pair of breasts she\rquote s ever seen. Little coral color nipples on all natural D+\rquote s.\rdblquote\par \par Sunny was taking this a little to far. \ldblquote Sunny? Back off a little.\rdblquote That\rquote s way to much information for Jen.\rdblquote\par \par Both sets of eyes locked on mine.\par \par \ldblquote I've heard worse in school Gene. Breasts and tits ain\rquote t the worst thing I\rquote ve heard.\rdblquote Jennifer went first. \ldblquote Remember Gina? She had a regular potty mouth. The things she use to say about the girls who had boobies made her brother\rquote s face turn red.\rdblquote\par \par That stopped Sunny for a minute. Before she started to really think about that, she said, \ldblquote You don\rquote t like the way I\rquote m telling it? You tell her how it happened. Go ahead, big fella.\rdblquote \par \par What the hell.\par \par Sunny sat back a little as I moved my chair toward the two of them. \ldblquote You want to know? Fine, here it is.\rdblquote\par \par \ldblquote The girl was drunk in the first place.\rdblquote I began. \ldblquote Second, she couldn\rquote t of been twenty three years old.\rdblquote\par \par \ldblquote Dunk my ass. She was a slut looking to steal you away. I\rquote m twenty-eight and your almost thirty-nine so what\rquote s the big deal.\rdblquote Sunny mumbled to herself as well as the couple eating behind her. \ldblquote Not like she had much of a chance anyway with Mr. Boy Scout here.\rdblquote\par \par Sunny was right but I didn\rquote t like her tone. I started to wonder if her limit was all most one drink.\par \par \ldblquote Anyway she\rquote s telling me that her and I should leave now and dump Alice. She had this really nice Corvette that I could drive if we left now. The more we talked the more it seems she knew Alice and they didn\rquote t like each other much. It was a revenge thing I guess. When none of that worked she pulls down the top of her dress and out pop her ti...breasts.\rdblquote Double shit this was harder than I thought. \ldblquote Alice is right. They were a fine set of twins. All healthy and everything. \par \par \ldblquote Anyway out of the corner of my eye I see Alice coming over and she\rquote s smiling. Ms. D+ cup is still talking to me about how she likes them touched as Alice walks around behind her. The first time she knows Alice is there is when Alice whispers in her ear, \ldblquote You really should join the Coast Guard honey. With that pair you\rquote d never drown.\rdblquote\par \par I closed my eyes for a second and smiled. It was what you\rquote d call a Kodak moment. I remembered the whole thing in detail. \ldblquote Ms. D+\rquote s eyes went wide. Her arms flew off from around my neck. I could tell she was scared to death.\rdblquote\par \par \ldblquote Alice said she peed in her panties.\rdblquote I guess Sunny was doing the color commentary. Jennifer just giggled.\par \par \ldblquote That I don\rquote t know about.\rdblquote I needed to wrap this up, quick. Anyway Alice looks at me then at this girl...\rdblquote\par \par \ldblquote A snake with great tits,\rdblquote Sunny muttered.\par \par \ldblquote ...and then Alice moves around to me and grabs my butt.\rdblquote\par \par \ldblquote Then what happened?\rdblquote Jen was definitely into this discussion.\par \par \ldblquote Well let\rquote s see. Alice made the introductions and told her that I was taken. Then she let\rquote s me know that Ms. D+ would jump the bones of anything that moved. She did have nice bones as I remember.\rdblquote\par \par Sunny gave a snort from her side of the table. We both looked at Jennifer as she started laughing. Did she really catch that remark? Did she understand it?\par \par I pointed to Sunny. \ldblquote Your turn.\rdblquote\par \par She gave me a strange look before saying, \ldblquote No, go ahead and finish. Your doing so-o-o well.\rdblquote Sunny leaned back in her chair. Now what was wrong with her?\par \par \ldblquote Well, the woman left in a huff after calling Alice all sorts of names. Alice gave me a real nice kiss and we went home. \rdblquote I waited for a comment from Miss Davenport about the shortened story. Now she was glaring at me saying nothing. What the hell was with her, anyways? \ldblquote End of story.\rdblquote\par \par I looked at Jennifer who had listened to every word. \ldblquote That was great!? Wow, she\rquote s cooler than I though!\rdblquote\par \par I just shook my head at Jen\rquote s remark. Alice was cool? I thought I was cool?\par \par There was more to it of course. Things that were cool if you were over twenty-one or thirty-one. The thing was I wasn\rquote t going to tell my niece that Alice had unloaded on the girl with both barrels. Alice used words I hadn\rquote t heard since I was In Country. Ms. D+ was way out of her league. In true Alice style she wasn\rquote t quiet about it. As I remembered, and I remembered very well, there were various detailed references to how she fucked and sucked her way into grad school. That\rquote s how she stayed there and despite not having a single brain cell between her ears. All this time Alice\rquote s hand was stroking me through my pants. I could feel my boxers starting to tent and push against my pants. Finally Alice had enough of her and told D+ she couldn\rquote t handle what was \lquote standing tall next to her. That I needed a real woman and she wasn\rquote t woman enough for me. What made me almost loose it was when, towards the end, she told her that despite my twelve inch cock I\rquote d never hit the sides or the bottom of the over used pussy, D+ had. I was trying so hard not to laugh that I didn\rquote t dare correct Alice on my dimensions. Besides the look that D+ gave me was one of awe. I liked that, a lot.\par \par Finally D+ had enough, or realized that anyone near by could easily hear what Alice was saying. Luckily I saw some thing in D+\rquote s eyes and grabbed her arm as she swung it towards Alice. I looked at her surprised face. \ldblquote Sorry darlin\rquote ,\rdblquote I said in my best Carolina accent, \ldblquote I can\rquote t let you do that here. People might object. If you want to take it outside I\rquote m sure Miss Cunningham would be more that happy to break your pretty lil\rquote face for you. Course with a busted nose y\rquote all might have ta\rquote stop sucking dick for a while, the air flow and all. Just think about you grade point going DOWN?\rdblquote I gave her one of my better little boy looks. Her face turned red then black as she figured she\rquote d been double teamed. She stomped away as Alice and I looked at each other and laughed.\par \par On the way out Alice found her and handed her something. When I asked later she said it was a twenty dollar bill. That was a lot of money in the early sixties so I asked her why. \ldblquote Every place that had good entertainment had a cover charge,\rdblquote was Alice\rquote s reply. That was the best entertainment she\rquote d had in years. Of course I thought that was Ms. D+\rquote s going rate when she got back to her corner on Franklin Street. I could have been wrong.\par \par I looked back over to Sunny who was still sitting back in her chair. She still had that look on her face. \par \par \ldblquote Anyone for dessert?\rdblquote I asked. Both of them shook their heads no, so we went home.\par \par No one said a word the whole drive.\par \par Even after we got home things didn\rquote t get much better.\par \par Everything was unloaded and put into the third bedroom. Three was planning on delivering and setting up the beds on Monday. There would be plenty of time before Sunny left, on Wednesday, to get things put back together.\par \par When everything was finished, the three of us collapsed on the couch. It was almost seven. Where had the day gone?\par \par \ldblquote Gene?\rdblquote I heard form my left. \ldblquote Can we stay in tonight?\rdblquote\par \par I looked over at Sunny. Her head was back on the couch, eyes closed. She looked like she was asleep.\par \par \ldblquote Sure baby. I\rquote ve got stuff to eat if we get hungry.\rdblquote\par \par She turned her head towards me and smiled. \ldblquote Thanks. I\rquote m just tired that\rquote s all. I didn\rquote t get much sleep last night. Not that I\rquote m complaining. I\rquote m going to take another shower. Okay?\rdblquote\par \par Sunny rolled towards me and kissed me. It was a very nice kiss. There wasn\rquote t any of the hungry passion of our previous kisses. Maybe this was going to be okay after all\par \par As I watched Sunny walk towards my bedroom I heard another voice from my right.\par \par \ldblquote Gene?\rdblquote\par \par \ldblquote Yah, Jen.\rdblquote\par \par \ldblquote Can I go over to Mary\rquote s house for a while?\rdblquote My niece asked me. \ldblquote I\rquote m going to shoot some hoops.\rdblquote\par \par \ldblquote Okay. Just don\rquote t invite yourself over for supper or a sleep over.\rdblquote\par \par With that Jen went to her room to change. \par \par Ah-h the power of the young. I knew once Jen and Mary started shooting hoops they\rquote d be at it for hours. I was so tired I could fall asleep at any moment and to hear tell it, Sunny was in about the same shape. \par \par The unfortunate part of all this was that I was all alone. I think the feeling and thoughts I had sitting on the couch were ones that most men have at one time or another. Here I had a woman that I loved and now, I wasn\rquote t so sure that was enough. I made up all sorts of reasons for Sunny not to come back. My mind darted back and forth from our ten year age difference to my living in North Carolina and her in Florida. I even thought about her becoming a commercial pilot and flying all over the world. How long would that last? Those things had been known to crash. Then again would she ever want to get married? How about children? Did we really have anything in common besides the sex?\par \par Or was this just a long weekend?\par \par I closed my eyes as I heard a door open and close somewhere in the house.\par \par \ldblquote Gene? Are you okay?\rdblquote\par \par I opened my eyes to see Jen standing in front of me. She was wearing her red and white shorts and a old Wolf Pack shirt on top. \ldblquote Yah sure Jen. All set to go?\rdblquote\par \par She looked a little unsure for some reason. \ldblquote Sho-nuff. Could you\rquote z braid my\rquote ums hair?\rdblquote My niece replied. \ldblquote Sorry, I couldn\rquote t stop it. It just sort\rquote a came out, Ya\rquote ll know?\rdblquote\par \par Her smile shook the blues out of me.\par \par \ldblquote Sure, have a seat. I don\rquote t care how you say it, just don\rquote t say, well you know? adult words?\rdblquote I was kind of glad to do something instead of just getting more upset over nothing.\par \par \ldblquote Boobies, breasts, pee pee?\rdblquote Now she was grinning like a idiot. Did she really enjoy torturing her uncle? It sure looked like it from here.\par \par \ldblquote Yah, words like that. Now sit.\rdblquote I wondered if Ozzie and Harriet had this problem with Ricky and David.\par \par Jen\rquote s usual place was sitting on the table in front of the couch. She would watch TV as I braided her hair. As she handed me her brush and comb Jennifer moved forward and suddenly sat on my lap. Her face was inches from mine.\par \par I was so shocked at this I dropped the brush. \ldblquote What are you doing, Jen?\rdblquote\par \par I felt her settling in. I could feel her wiggling as she got comfortable. \ldblquote I just wanted to get closer for a little bit, Gene. Are you okay?\rdblquote Suddenly she was so close to me I could feel her breath. \par \par Actually I wasn\rquote t okay. First off Jennifer was sitting crotch to crotch. As she started to wiggle it had a very grown-up effect me. The suggestion as well as the pressure was just too great. Let me put it this way, I was getting hard as a rock. If it was Sunny on my lap doing what Jen was doing my response would of been different. A lot different. \ldblquote Could you turn around and move to the table, like usual? I can\rquote t braid your hair with you facing me.\rdblquote\par \par All I got out of Jennifer was an \ldblquote Okay.\rdblquote Then she dragged herself up my leg till she was standing again. Then she turned around and was sitting on my knees not on the coffee table. That didn\rquote t help anything.\par \par \ldblquote What happened to sitting the coffee table?\rdblquote I really wanted her off my lap. This was not good. \par \par \ldblquote This is more comfortable.\rdblquote Was her quick reply.\par \par I gave up. I was getting tired of trying to figure out women even if they\rquote re seven or twenty eight. Why fight it.\par \par As I started combing Jen\rquote s brown hair she started rambling on as she usually did. I didn\rquote t get any kind of answer why she decided to sit on my lap. I tried to concentrate on untangling her snarls that seemed to stretch all the way down her back. I loved the length of her hair. It was just above the middle of her back. The problem was while I wondering what had gotten into Jen I zoned out. I combed the same place over and over.\par \par \ldblquote Gene? You listening?\rdblquote\par \par What\rquote d you say?\rdblquote\par \par \ldblquote I asked when am I going to get boobies?\rdblquote \par \par I wished she\rquote d stop that. My heart could only take so many shocks. \ldblquote Say what, girl?\rdblquote I thought I told her not to do that.\par \par \ldblquote I wondered when I was going to get boobies, breasts? You know, like Sunny and Alice.\rdblquote She sounded serious. I knew what was bringing this on and cursed myself for doing it. Sunny bringing up that dinner/dance was going to be a problem. Once a seven year old gets a hold of some idea watch out. \ldblquote Probably not till your about eleven or twelve. After that they\rquote ll grow. I don\rquote t know if you\rquote ll be like Alice or Sunny but you\rquote ll get them.\rdblquote\par \par \ldblquote Eleven!? That\rquote s almost...\rdblquote I could almost see Jennifer doing the math in her head. \ldblquote ...four whole years!\rdblquote \par \par I saw her shoulders slump in despair. I wondered what the problem was. \ldblquote Tell you what, Jen. When you out in Los Angeles with Alice ask her. Guys might like big brea...boobies,\rdblquote I quickly corrected, \ldblquote but smaller one are okay too. Besides as you get older, if your bigger up top, you can have problems. It might be hard playing basketball if they were big like Sunny\rquote s.\rdblquote I was going to say that smaller breasts hold up better. They don\rquote t sag and seem perkier. The ones I saw and played with were, anyway. But I didn\rquote t. Instead I said, \ldblquote Rubber band? And quit saying boobies and breasts!\rdblquote\par \par Jennifer raised one hand and I slid the elastic band off her wrist and on the single braid on the middle of her back. It looked really good. Lois showed me how to braid Jen\rquote s hair the year before. It was shorter then but Jennifer didn\rquote t seem to want to cut it. \ldblquote There you go Jen, all done. A single braid right in the middle of your back. You really need a trim. Want one before we go to the beach?\par \par \ldblquote Nah, Alice said she\rquote d take me to Rodeo Drive for one. Do you think there\rquote ll be cowboys there?\rdblquote\par \par \ldblquote Maybe, I don\rquote t know. I don\rquote t think California people are into real cowboys. But who knows. With all the Westerns they make there might be some.\rdblquote All I knew about the left coast back then was the Naval Base in San Diego.\par \par \ldblquote Okay!\rdblquote With that Jen got off my lap. \par \par I thought she was headed out the door but she climbed back on the couch and sat back down on my lap. She was facing me, again.\par \par Suddenly it became very hard for me to breath as she settled over my crotch. Her arms went around my neck, just like Sunny\rquote s had earlier in the day. I felt her small arms shaking on my shoulders as she looked into my eyes. Her hazel eyes were staring into mine. I wondered what she was trying to do as she came closer to me. I was about ready to get up when Jen leaned into me.\par \par \ldblquote Jen this isn\rquote t a good idea.\rdblquote\par \par Her little face was just inches from mine. I could feel her breath on my face again. \ldblquote She loves you, you know.\rdblquote\par \par I barely heard her as I took in her scent. It was...I don\rquote t know...fresh? Maybe clean or innocent. I swear I had only one drink at Chris\rquote but my head was starting to spin. \ldblquote What?\rdblquote\par \par \ldblquote Sunny? Your new girlfriend? The girl in your shower? Sunny loves you.\rdblquote Jennifer\rquote s eyes were getting lighter all the time we talked.\par \par Suddenly my head cleared. I almost forgot about the squirming seven year old on my lap. I almost said yes. \ldblquote How do you know?\rdblquote Her arms continued to hug my neck as she looked at me.\par \par Jennifer shot me that, one of us is stupid, look. I wasn\rquote t buying it. \ldblquote Don\rquote t do that, Jen, just tell me. I don\rquote t think she\rquote s coming back.\rdblquote The iris\rquote s were almost as clear as when we shared that Little Kiss in her room.\par \par With all the certainty of seven years of experience. \ldblquote She\rquote ll be back.\rdblquote\par \par How much was hope and how much was something she actually knew? I had no idea. \ldblquote How do you know, Jen? She hasn\rquote t told me she loves me all afternoon, even though I\rquote ve told her a dozen times.\rdblquote\par \par Double Shit. What was I doing talking to my niece about my love life, anyway?\par \par I got a little distracted while I was thinking about that. Jen moved in closer and our lips met. Actually she kissed me! And it was a wonderful kiss. It wasn\rquote t a Little Kiss it was just a kiss. Yah, I thought, and the Grand Canyon is just a ditch. I wondered if I\rquote d survive to be forty.\par \par I felt something wet on my face. I pushed Jen\rquote s face away from mine. She was crying.\par \par \ldblquote What\rquote s wrong, Jen?\rdblquote\par \par Her tears were falling and my niece seemed not to notice. \ldblquote I just want you to be happy, I thought Sunny coming here would make you happy again.\rdblquote she sobbed. \ldblquote You were a lot more happier than I\rquote ve ever seen you when Alice was here. I saw you guys touching and kissing all the time. You guys were silly. It was great. Even after she left you were goofy and had a silly smile on your face. Even in the morning before your coffee. I dunno why, but now you and Sunny seem so happy sometimes.\rdblquote ...sniff... \ldblquote Then you act more like Gary and Linda.\rdblquote\par \par What ever I thought before about Jen was out the window. More like Gary and Linda? \ldblquote We\rquote re nothing like your mom and dad.\rdblquote\par \par \ldblquote Sure you are,\rdblquote Jennifer wasn\rquote t mad but truly worried that Sunny might leave. \ldblquote You talk to each other and hold hands but this afternoon it seems like your not...\rdblquote She was searching for the right words again. I wondered if all seven year olds were like this. I just thanked whom ever above for bringing this little girl into my life. \ldblquote ..I dunno, not really together. Yah know?\rdblquote\par \par I tried to figure out what she was trying to say when a light bulb went off over my head. \ldblquote Are you looking for the word committed?\rdblquote\par \par \ldblquote What\rquote s that?\rdblquote\par \par Obviously that wasn\rquote t the word. Still I plodded on. \ldblquote It\rquote s like a promise to be there for someone. Like you and Mary.\rdblquote\par \par \ldblquote What about Mary?\rdblquote\par \par I had her interested now.\par \par \ldblquote Say there was a bully at school.\rdblquote\par \par \ldblquote Like Danny?\rdblquote Jen just changed the subject.\par \par \ldblquote Dirty Danny is the school bully?\rdblquote\par \par \ldblquote Nah! Just fourth grade. He\rquote s not big enough to take on the whole school,\rdblquote was Jen\rquote s reply.\par \par \ldblquote Oh. Anyway say Danny wanted to kick Mary\rquote s butt for her lunch money. And..\rdblquote\par \par Jen laughed. \ldblquote He couldn\rquote t kick high enough. He\rquote s too short and not big enough. Mary is going to be the tallest fifth grader and almost as tall as a Junior High girl.\rdblquote\par \par Now I was getting exasperated. All I wanted was to give her an example. \ldblquote Work with me here Jen. Pretend Danny is my size.\rdblquote I saw she was about to say something else that was totally logical. \ldblquote Let me finish please? Just pretend?\rdblquote I wondered if it would get easier after she turned eight.\par \par \ldblquote Okay, let\rquote s say Danny is my size and wants Mary\rquote s lunch money or he\rquote s going to punch her in the face.\rdblquote\par \par Jennifer ran that through her head and nodded.\par \par So far so good. \ldblquote Now here you come along. You don\rquote t want to see Mary hurt so you tell Danny You have more lunch money and he\rquote s not going to get it.\rdblquote\par \par \ldblquote Why would I say that?\rdblquote When Jen said that I knew I had her.\par \par \ldblquote Because you and Mary are more than just friends. Would you step in front of a bully so Mary wouldn\rquote t get hurt?\rdblquote\par \par \ldblquote Sure.\rdblquote \par \par Bingo.\par \par \ldblquote Why?\rdblquote\par \par \ldblquote We\rquote re best friends since I moved here. I don\rquote t want to see her get hurt.\rdblquote\par \par Jen just made the connection. \ldblquote That\rquote s being committed or having a commitment to someone. To take what ever comes your way because you\rquote re their friend, even a punch. Forever, good or bad. To want to do something for someone else, even if they don\rquote t ask. To spare them pain, even if it hurts you.\rdblquote Damn that even sounded good to me.\par \par \ldblquote What happened to my parents comment?\rdblquote\par \par \ldblquote It\rquote s commitment. Somewhere between getting married and you moving here they forgot why they got married.\rdblquote\par \par I was on my second tour In Country when Gary married Linda. Our mom was still a live then. We didn\rquote t know she had only a couple of years to live. Mom wrote me about the wedding. She told me all about the flowers and how the bridesmaid dresses looked liked they were made of curtain material. The food was okay and the Beer and Pepsi were free. \par \par I came home later on a thirty-day leave, between my second tour and my shortened third one and we talked about everything. She mentioned that after the wedding, every time she invited them over one or the other couldn\rquote t make it. Mostly it was Linda. The promises they made, were to them just suggestions.\par \par As I sat there with they\rquote re daughter on my lap I wanted to tell her that they still loved her very much. I know it was a lie. Jennifer knew it was a lie but if I said it she\rquote d make believe that it was true, just for me. \par \par \ldblquote So me and Mary are committed friends?\rdblquote I noticed that she was struggling with that word.\par \par \ldblquote Mary and I and yes, best friends, come hell or high water.\rdblquote I realized what I\rquote d just said. \ldblquote You get the idea.\rdblquote\par \par \ldblquote You said Hell.\rdblquote Jen corrected me. I guess it wasn\rquote t important because she just kept on talking. \ldblquote And you and Alice?\rdblquote \par \par \ldblquote Very much.\rdblquote I saw the doubt in Jen\rquote s eyes, as I said it. \ldblquote If it wasn\rquote t would I give her something so valuable to me, for the summer?\rdblquote\par \par I could see the wheels turning in her head. Finally I saw a little smile on her face. \ldblquote I\rquote m valuable to you? Are we committed\rdblquote\par \par \ldblquote Your very precious to me and yes, we are committed to each other. You are part of my life, Jen. Even when you get older and have real boyfriends you\rquote ll still be precious to me.\rdblquote I wasn\rquote t thinking anymore. No woman I\rquote d ever known could affect me like this seven year old sitting on my lap. Three years of living here and now I didn\rquote t know what I\rquote d do with out her. \ldblquote I wouldn\rquote t do anything to hurt you, you know that. I\rquote d take any beating to protect you.\rdblquote\par \par \ldblquote What about Sunny?\rdblquote \par \par I looked into Jen\rquote s eyes as they turned back to natural hazel color. What about Sunny, I thought. I closed my eyes. \ldblquote I think I\rquote ve really fallen for her Jen. She\rquote s everything I\rquote m looking for. She\rquote s successful, she wants to do things with her life. And we have fun together.\rdblquote I could see Sunny in my mind. The first time I\rquote d seen her. The jealousy I felt when she came off the plane with that pilot. The first kiss and more, a lot more.\rdblquote\par \par \ldblquote You know she\rquote s crazy?\rdblquote\par \par I looked at Jennifer. \ldblquote She\rquote s not crazy, Jen.\rdblquote \par \par \ldblquote Yes she is,\rdblquote she insisted. \ldblquote It\rquote s not a bad crazy. I like her a lot but something is not right. I don\rquote t think she likes me.\rdblquote The tears started rolling down her face again.\par \par I wasn\rquote t sure what to say. \ldblquote Jen, she likes you, a lot. It\rquote s just that she has, I don\rquote t know, a problem believing this is all real. She\rquote s gone through some bad times. Has she said anything to hurt you?\rdblquote\par \par \ldblquote No.\rdblquote\par \par \ldblquote How do you know then.\rdblquote\par \par \ldblquote I dunno.\rdblquote The tears had stopped for now. My cute seven-year-old girlfriend wiggling on my lap had disappeared and was replaced by my seven year old niece. I wanted to help Jen get over the fear that Sunny didn\rquote t like her. \ldblquote It\rquote s just the way she looks at me, sometimes. Like I\rquote m in the way. What if she\rquote s like Linda?\rdblquote\par \par I started a slow burn. That was the second time Jen called her parents by their first name. \ldblquote She\rquote s your mom, mother, maw, anything but Linda. I know it\rquote s hard sometimes but they really are your parents, Jen.\rdblquote\par \par I didn\rquote t see any anger on Jennifer\rquote s face. All I saw was her chest rise and fall in a long sigh. \ldblquote I guess, \lquote cept for one thing.\rdblquote\par \par Don\rquote t you hate it when they agree? Then they say except for\'85 Jen was learning early the art of negotiation. \ldblquote They\rquote re not my parents, you are.\rdblquote\par \par I sunk further into the couch. \ldblquote Come again?\rdblquote\par \par Now Jen was upset. I watched in fascination as her eyes darkened. \ldblquote I\rquote ve seen my real dad, what, ten times in three years?\rdblquote \par \par I nodded. \par \par \ldblquote He doesn\rquote t call, he doesn\rquote t write, he doesn\rquote t FUCKING care.\rdblquote Now she was really upset. \par \par Now I was upset. \ldblquote Jen don\rquote t cuss like that.\rdblquote What else could I say? My brothers daughter was absolutely correct. Everything except for the number of visits, which I thought was a little high. But Jen was right. Gary didn\rquote t care. Linda was marginally better. She still lived in the apartment but was gone most of the time, traveling. The rest of the time she was just to busy. Linda was the one who wrote the checks for my taking care of Jennifer. I deposited each one in Jen\rquote s college account on the twentieth of every month.\par \par \par I wiped away the rest of tears on her face with my hands. As I stroked her face she turned her head into my palm. I knew it was wrong to be this intimate with my niece but I couldn\rquote t help it. An old feeling seemed to take over. Even back then I knew it was wrong but I didn\rquote t want that to end either. \par \par Alice said some day Jennifer and I would have sex. I totally denied it. I even got angry at her. All she did was laugh at me. I could see my road ahead with Jen. It was still a little foggy but she was on it with me, somewhere. \par \par I lightly kissed her on her forehead. \ldblquote Go wash your face and practice your hook shot, okay?\rdblquote\par \par Reluctantly Jen got off my lap. Even more reluctantly I let her go. As she turned to wash her face Jennifer stopped and looked at me. \ldblquote I know the word I was looking for.\rdblquote\par \par \ldblquote What\rquote s that Jen?\rdblquote \par \par \ldblquote Friends. This afternoon you and Sunny weren\rquote t friends.\rdblquote\par \par It was time to cut my losses. I didn\rquote t say anything.\par \par A little later I heard the door to the garage open and close as Jennifer went over to the Kowalski\rquote s to shoot hoops.\par \par I sat on the couch for a while. It seemed like hours but it was probably only minutes. I heard the basketball slamming into the backboard, across the street. I guess I did fall asleep after all.\par \par \par }