Sean paused on arriving at work to appreciate the changes that had occurred at the Dairy King over the past three weeks. The building had been air conditioned making it a much more pleasant place to work. The gravel parking lot had been paved with blacktop and a carport cover erected that allowed two rows of eight cars to park in the shade. Suzie had taken a job as a carhop, taking and delivering customer orders to the parked cars. Business was hopping at the Dairy King.
Sean went into the backdoor of the Dairy King expecting another busy day. Looking up from the grill where a dozen patties were cooking, Mr. Catchums said, "There you are. You're right on time."
"Thank you for reminding me of my space-time coordinates," Sean said.
"Huh?"
"It always amazes me how few people take the time to extend that little courtesy nowadays. It is really refreshing to hear someone remind you that you exist in the here and now," Sean answered.
"Whatever," Mr. Catchums said.
Sean said, "Usually I am hit with a request to change my space-time coordinates."
"What does that mean?" Mr. Catchums asked.
Sean answered, "Most people tell me to leave."
"I can understand that," Mr. Catchums said. Pointing to the fryer, he said, "We're really busy today. We need some more fries and onion rings."
"Yes, sir," Sean said moving over to the fryer.
"Strange kid," Mr. Catchums said shaking his head. He flipped a patty and laid a slice of cheese on another one. He looked over at Sean and watched the kid fill a basket with frozen fries. He cringed at the thought of what was going to happen next.
"Fry you dastardly slivers of potato, fry," Sean shouted as he set the fry basket into the hot oil.
"You don't have to say that every time you cook some fries," Mr. Catchums said.
"I know, but I feel compelled to do the best job possible," Sean replied. He picked up the bag of frozen onion rings and poured them into the second fry basket.
"Really strange kid," Mr. Catchums muttered.
Sean held the basket of onion rings aloft and said, "You have been found guilty by a jury of your peers for the high crime of hiding your true nature as onions by wearing a disguise of batter. Do you have anything to say before I pass sentence?"
In a high pitched voice, he answered, "No."
"I sentence you to death by boiling in oil," Sean said. He gave a little scream while the basket was lowered into the fryer.
Looking over at Suzy taking another order, Mr. Catchums said, "I have no idea what she sees in him."
After a few minutes, Sean lifted the basket of fries out of the fryer. He said, "Another perfect batch of golden fries. French fry aficionados around the world will sing songs of praise about you."
"I need two small fries," Mr. Catchums said.
"You who are about to die, we salute you," Sean said while salting the fries.
"We really don't need all of those commentaries," Mr. Catchums said.
Sean said, "I really hope that when something eats me that it takes a moment to appreciate the sacrifice that I'm making on its behalf."
"For crying out loud; it's a French fry," Mr. Catchums said.
Sean handed two small orders of fries to Mr. Catchums. He said, "I know, but they are perfect French fries prepared by a master chef."
Mr. Catchums put the fries into the bag and called out the pickup window, "Order up."
Suzie picked up the bag and, smiling, said, "I heard Sean arrive."
"What do you see in that guy?" Mr. Catchums asked.
In the background, Sean said, "Oh you perfect onion rings. While it is true that the Gods heap praises upon you, the onerous task of telling you that there is one other far more beautiful than you falls upon me. Your beauty pales beside that of my fair maiden, Suzie. Fret not; her beauty is such that even the sun pales in comparison."
"That," Suzie said with a smile.
"I'm going to have to remember that line," Mr. Catchums muttered returning to the grill.
Returning home from a hard day at work, Sean stopped by the wooden box that was by the side of the path. Liam was leaning against the box polishing the fingernails of his right hand on his green coat. Looking down at Liam, Sean said, "Hello, Liam."
"Hello, Sean."
"How are things?" Sean asked. There were some muffled noises coming from inside the box.
"They couldn't be better," Liam answered. "Getting chased around the country-side by two women is rather exciting."
"That's nice," Sean said. He looked at the box that was now shaking from side to side and commented, "It looks like something is trapped in the box."
"You're right. It does look like something was caught in this poorly disguised trap," Liam said with a smile.
"Indeed it does," Sean said nodding his head.
Liam said, "Imagine the shame of getting caught in such an ugly trap."
"The horror of it all," Sean said.
"Judging by the way the trap is moving around, I would say that something pretty big was inside," Liam said.
"I hope that it isn't a monster," Sean said.
Liam rapped on the side with a knuckle. He shouted, "Hello in there."
After listening to a few choice words issuing forth from inside the box, Sean said, "That voice sounds rather familiar."
"Such language," Liam said.
"Shocking and most foul," Sean said.
Liam said, "It doesn't sound that monstrous."
"You can never be too careful," Sean said.
Liam stepped back and said, "Would you like to have the honor of letting the poor unfortunate creature caught in this insidious trap loose?"
"That is most kind of you," Sean said.
Bowing and pointing to the box, Liam said, "Be my guest."
Sean stepped up to the box and opened the trap door. The next thing he knew was that he was on the ground with a pair of arms wrapped around his ankles and someone shouting, "I got you!"
Sean looked down the length of his body at the person holding onto him. In a conversational tone of voice, he said, "Hi, Mom."
"Oh, it is you," his mother said sounding a little disappointed.
Sean asked, "How was your miserable day?"
"Miserable," his mother answered relaxing her grip on him.
"That's nice. Would you mind getting off of me?" Sean asked.
"How was your miserable day?" his mother asked getting off of him.
"Perfectly miserable," Sean answered.
"That's nice," his mother said.
Sitting up, Sean said, "Thank you."
Liam asked, "Did you enjoy your time in the box?"
"Oh, yes. It was quite comfortable," his mother answered looking over at Liam. He was too far away to have any chance of catching him.
"Really? It looked rather cramped to me," Liam said.
"No. It is much bigger inside than it looks," Sean's mother said.
"I find that rather hard to believe," Liam said skeptically.
Stepping back, Sean's mother gestured to the interior of the box and said, "You can try it and see for yourself."
"That's okay, I'll take your word on it," Liam said with a twinkle in his eye.
The discussion was interrupted when Clea ran past giggling loudly. Max followed two steps behind her. Watching the pair disappear into the woods, Sean's mother asked, "Is it my imagination or were they naked?"
"They were naked," Liam said.
"Strange things are afoot in the forest this fine evening," Sean said.
Liam said, "It looks like Clea found a little friend."
Sean's mother said, "It is nice to see Max smiling again. His mother was complaining the other day that he seemed rather sad all of the time."
"I must admit that he did look happy," Sean said.
"Well, I guess I'll follow along and make sure that they don't get in too much trouble," Liam said looking in the direction that the pair had headed.
"Watch them closely," Sean said.
Smiling, Liam said, "Oh, I will."
Seeing Liam disappear into the forest, Sean's mother glanced at her watch and said, "I suppose I ought to go home and get dinner ready."
Since everyone else was making plans, Sean thought he should do the same. He said, "I think I'll go home and do nothing."
His mother said, "You need to set up the projector and concession stand for the movie tonight."
"I forgot about that," Sean said. After the weeklong Sean Connery film festival, his mother and father had continued by having Saturday night movies. He looked at the box and asked, "What about that?"
"The Dwarves will get it. After all, they brought it here," his mother said heading towards home.
"Ah," Sean said. "I had wondered how it got there. I was tempted to ask you, but I was afraid that you'd tell me."
"You're such a timid boy when it comes to learning. You should never be afraid to ask a question," his mother commented.
Looking sideways at his mother at the suggestion that he was timid about anything, Sean said, "There was something that I was meaning to ask."
"What?"
Sean asked, "How did you end up inside the box?"
"There are some questions that you shouldn't ask," his mother said.
"Answer it anyway," Sean said.
"It is a long story," his mother answered looking up at the sky.
"Do tell," Sean said.
"It is a very long story."
"Even better," Sean said with a smile.
"My throat is too dry to tell such a long and involved story," his mother said massaging her neck.
"I'm sure that you can give me a condensed version," Sean said.
"He tricked me," his mother said.
"That's what I thought," Sean said.
"Catching that little fellow is proving to be a bit more difficult than I had initially imagined," his mother said.
"Where would the challenge be if it was easy?" Sean asked.
"That's true," his mother said.
Curious, Sean asked, "Where's Mrs. Emery?"
"She's recovering," his mother answered.
"Recovering? From what?" Sean asked.
"She got caught in the other trap earlier today," his mother answered.
"What other trap?" Sean asked.
"We thought we would drive him into a net," his mother answered.
"Oh. I think I know where this story is going," Sean said.
"He moved the net on us," his mother said.
"I thought so," Sean said.
His mother said, "It took me an hour to get her down."
"He's a real tricky one," Sean said. "Is she okay?"
"More or less. The only thing injured was her pride," his mother said.
"There are few wounds that hurt more than injured pride," Sean said.
"Too true."
They walked along in silence for a moment. It took Sean a minute to realize that it wasn't all that silent. He asked, "What's that noise?"
"I don't know. It sounds like a riot," his mother answered. There was a lot of yelling and shouting going on.
"I'd say it sounds more like a construction site," Sean said.
"It sounds like it is coming from our back yard," his mother said coming to a full stop.
Sean said, "I didn't know we are having some work done on the house."
Worried, his mother said, "We aren't."
There was a large crash. Sean said, "That didn't sound good."
Sean was talking to himself by that time. His mother was a hundred yards ahead and pulling further away by the second. Shaking his head, he said, "She sure can move."
"Impressive," said a little voice by his foot.
Looking down, Sean spotted a little man about half the size of a Dwarf standing beside him. He was a rotund little fellow wearing a familiar looking pointy hat. Curious, he asked, "Who and what are you?"
"Who and what are you?"
"I'm Sean and I'm a human."
"I'm Sid and I'm a Gnome."
"Nice to meet you," Sean said.
"Nice to meet you," Sid replied.
"I hope that I'm not asking a rude question, but what do Gnomes do?" Sean asked.
"A little of this and a little of that. Very little of anything, really," Sid answered. He thought for a second and said, "Mostly we stand around in gardens and watch grass grow."
"Sounds exciting," Sean said.
"It is," Sid said.
"I can believe it. I have always wanted to watch grass grow."
"You must try it sometime," Sid said.
"I fear that I'll never have the opportunity," Sean said.
"Pity," Sid said shaking his little Gnomish head. The effort almost tired him out.
Sean looked around and said, "There isn't much grass here to watch grow."
"I heard there was a play being shown this evening. You wouldn't know where that is going to happen?" Sid said.
"I'm headed that way right now," Sean said.
"Excellent. I've heard that they provide a magical elixir called soda there," Sid said.
"I wouldn't exactly describe soda as a magical elixir," Sean said.
"I've heard that it foams like beer without making you crazy or feeling bad the next day," Sid said.
The sounds of his mother yelling joined the noise emanating from the yard. Sean said, "It sounds like Mom has discovered what is happening and she doesn't sound all that happy."
"Mom is the lady who was running down the path?"
"Yes," Sean answered.
"Weren't you supposed to be chasing her?" Sid asked.
"No," Sean said in disgust.
"Sorry. I was just asking," Sid said sounding a little disappointed. Watching grass grow didn't produce many opportunities for watching a man chase a nymph.
"I should probably get there and find out what is happening," Sean said.
"Would you mind giving me a lift?" Sid asked looking up at Sean.
"A lift?" Sean asked.
"It is a rather far distance to walk," Sid said shrugging his shoulders.
"It isn't that far," Sean said.
"Not for you. You have long legs. I'm small so the distance is effectively ten times further for me," Sid said.
"I didn't think of it like that," Sean said.
"When you watch grass grow all day you have plenty of time to think of things like that," Sid said.
"I suppose you would," Sean said.
"So you'll give me a lift?" Sid asked.
"I suppose," Sean answered.
Sid climbed up onto Sean's shoulders and asked, "What are we standing around for? We don't have all day."
"He's rather impatient for a guy who stands around watching grass grow," Sean muttered.
Sean walked down the path to his home. Upon reaching the yard, he spotted a rather large structure next to the back of the garage. Frowning, he stared at it trying to make out what it was. Sid said, "Dwarves! They're building a workshop."
"Is that what it is?" Sean said.
Without saying a word, Sid climbed off of Sean's shoulders. He stopped where he landed and stood on the ground watching the furious activity surrounding the building. There were clangs of metal, pounding of hammer against wood, minor explosions, and shouts originating from inside the building.
Chom came out and walked over to Sean. He asked, "Where's Clea?"
"Last I saw of her, she was running through the woods being chased by Max," Sean answered. He wondered if that would stop the activity around the building.
Chom looked over at the woods for a second before he said, "It is about time someone took an interest in her. I'm half tempted to drop what I'm doing and check out the action, but I don't have the time."
"What are you doing?" Sean asked.
"We're making some tools so that we can work on your car. What does it look like we're doing?" Chom asked.
"It looks like you're making a mess," Sean said.
Chom said, "Your mother said the same thing."
"It must be a genetic thing," Sean said.
"Undoubtedly," Chom said.
Sean looked over at the slightly lopsided building and said, "It doesn't look very sturdy."
Chom shook his head and said, "It is a rush job."
"Why all of this activity all of a sudden?" Sean asked wondering why it was a rush job.
"You told us the car was being delivered Monday morning. You could have given us a little warning. Three days is just not enough time to get ready for a job of this magnitude," Chom answered.
"You've known for three weeks that I was buying the truck," Sean said. Sam had told him that morning that he would be delivering the truck the coming Monday morning.
"That was abstract knowledge. Now, it is definite," Chom answered.
There was a loud explosion and Thur flew out the door of the structure. Upon landing on the ground, Thur jumped up and started patting his beard in order to put out the small flame that had appeared. While it was still smoking, he ran back into the building. Sean asked, "What is Thur doing?"
"He's trying to cure the furnace," Chom answered.
"Is it ill?" Sean asked scratching his head.
"Uh, no," Chom answered.
"Preventive medicine, huh?" Sean said.
"Uh, yeah," Chom answered looking over at Sean with a confused expression on his face.
"That makes sense. We'd hate for a furnace to get a cold," Sean said.
Chom nodded his agreement and said, "There's nothing more useless than a cold furnace."
"What do you need a furnace for?"
Chom answered, "We need to melt some metal to make our tools. You can't work metal without tools."
"I didn't realize that," Sean said.
Sean's father stepped out the backdoor of the garage with a puzzled expression on his face. Looking over at Sean, he asked, "You wouldn't happen to know what happened to all of the test equipment that was in the garage?"
"No. What happened?" Sean asked.
"Everything is gone," his father answered.
"Gone?" Sean asked. "That stuff weighed a ton."
"There was a lot of metal in that old equipment," his father said shaking his head.
Trying to look innocent, Chom put his hands behind his back and rocked back and forth on his heels. He whistled for a second or two before he said, "Uh, I better get back to work."