Sean parked his truck in the mall parking space next to the flattened police car. At least, he was pretty sure that it was a police car despite the fact that it was rather dimensionally challenged. He got out and walked around to the passenger side. Opening the door, he bowed and said, "Gold door service for the lady."
"Why thank you," Suzie said with a giggle.
Sean helped her out of the truck. Once she was out, she gave him a curtsy. Sean closed the door and said, "There's another flattened police car here. Let's see if Stomp is around."
Having seen the gold truck approach, a policeman walked over to the young couple with a concerned expression on his face. Although no one had been hurt so far, he feared that the first would be a couple of kids. He could imagine the kind of lawsuits that would result from that. He said, "You shouldn't be around here, kids."
"Why?" Sean asked.
"There's a monster over there," the policeman said gesturing in the direction of the woods that started a few feet from the parking lot.
"We came to see him," Sean said as if it was the most natural thing in the world for him to want to do.
The policeman pointed to the flattened car and said, "You don't want to get anywhere near him. He's dangerous."
"Stomp? I thought he was rather polite," Sean said. He looked at Suzie and asked, "Didn't you think he was polite?"
"He did introduce himself to us," Suzie said.
"It is a big ugly monster that will chew you up and spit you out," the policeman said trying to scare the kids away. They had tried a dozen times to arrest the troll, but it had flattened their cars like aluminum cans and was so strong that two dozen policemen couldn't wrestle him to the ground. Their bullets just bounced off of him. The Tazer made him giggle.
Looking over to the woods in the hope of spotting Stomp, Sean said, "Let me go talk to him."
"I'm afraid that I can't allow that," the policeman said moving to block Sean from heading into the woods.
Sean decided that if he couldn't go to Stomp, that Stomp could come over to him. He cupped his hands around his mouth and shouted, "Hey, Stomp. Come over here!"
The troll came out of the woods and looked around trying to figure out who had called him. He noticed Sean waving to him and stomped over to the young man with a big smile on his face. It should be noted that a troll's smile looks a lot like a snarl that shows lots of very ugly looking teeth. People who were afraid of snarls like that typically found a troll's smile very scary. The policeman backpedaled away from the troll while firing his pistol at him. The bullets just bounced off the magical creature.
Looking over at the policeman, Sean said, "Hey, stop that."
"That's not very friendly," Suzie said putting her hands on her hips reminding Sean of her mother. She said, "What would your mother think of you acting like that?"
"She'd be glad that I'm still alive and that I'm protecting stupid kids like you," the policeman answered. He was busy trying to reload his gun. His nervous fingers were not helping him at all.
"That's not nice," Suzie said shaking a finger at him.
Stomp stopped in front of Sean and said, "Hi Sean."
"Hi Stomp."
Turning to face the troll, Suzie said, "Hi Stomp."
"Hello lady," Stomp said scratching his stomach. He smiled at her; showing lots of yellow teeth. The policeman took another dozen steps away.
Sean pointed over at the flattened police car and asked, "Why did you do that?"
"Bad noise," Stomp said holding his hands over his ears.
"What?"
"Hurt ears," Stomp said. He went over to the flattened car and stomped on it a few times. His actions had little effect since it just wasn't possible to flatten it any more than it was.
"You say that the siren hurts your ears?" Sean asked. It seemed to him that Stomp could only put together sentences of two words.
"Bad noise," Stomp said nodding his head. He stomped on the flattened police car a couple of more times. He stopped and turned to Sean with a frown on his face.
"You don't look happy," Sean said.
Putting a hand on Stomp's arm, Suzie said, "Poor Stomp looks very unhappy."
"Not happy," Stomp said.
"Why?" Suzie asked.
"No home," Stomp said. The poor troll looked like he was on the verge of tears.
"I'm sorry to hear that," Sean said.
"Want home."
Nodding his head, Sean said, "I understand. It must really be hard being homeless."
"Want home. Charge toll," Stomp said. He reached over and pulled a sapling out of the ground. He used it to scratch his back.
"Let me see what I can do," Sean said.
"We have to find a home for you," Suzie said looking over at Sean.
Sean pointed at the policeman who was still busy trying to reload his service revolver. The poor man kept dropping the cartridges. Sean said, "You won't hurt them will you."
"Wrestle good. Like wrestle," Stomp said with a smile crossing his face.
"You enjoyed it when they wrestled you?" Sean asked rather surprised.
"Good fun," Stomp said.
Suzie looked over at the policeman who was staring at them incredulous that they were just talking with the monster. She said, "He doesn't look very happy."
"Too many unhappy people around here and only one of you," Sean said shaking his head sadly.
"Of me?" Suzie asked surprised.
Surprised by her surprise, Sean said, "One look at you and it is like the sun came out. If that can't cheer up someone, nothing can."
"Oh," Suzie said hugging his arm. Sean said the nicest things to her.
The policeman couldn't help but overhear their conversation. He finally got a cartridge into his revolver. He shook his head and said, "I'm going to have to remember that line."
"I guess we're going to have to solve this problem the old fashioned way," Sean said.
"How?" Suzie asked.
"We'll just have a make a wild-assed guess at a solution and hope it works," Sean answered.
Suzie laughed and said, "That just might do it."
"Let's go talk to the policeman," Sean said deciding that would be a good place to start.
Suzie turned to Stomp and said, "We'll be back."
"Pretty lady," Stomp said. He twisted the tree until it burst into slivers of wood. He took one of the slivers and worked it around his teeth like a tooth pick. He was quite proud of the fact that he had most of his teeth and attributed that to his dental hygiene rather than magic.
Sean walked over to the policeman and, holding up a hand, he said, "Hello Human. Take me to your leader."
"Huh?" the policeman said staring at Sean.
Sean leaned over to Suzie with a grin on his face and said, "I've always wanted to use that line."
"The opportunities are few and far between," Suzie said with a laugh. She hugged his arm and asked, "What next?"
"I assume he'll take us to his leader," Sean said looking at the policeman.
"You want to talk to the Chief?"
"How," Sean said holding up one hand so that the palm was facing the policeman.
"Huh?" the policeman said while Suzie giggled at his confused reaction.
"I would like to talk to your Chief," Sean answered. He leaned over to Suzie and said, "Some people just don't understand Indian."
"It is just a sign of the times," Suzie said.
"Political correctness run amuck," Sean said nodding his head in agreement.
The policeman got on his radio. After a few minutes, he said, "The Chief said he would be here in a thirty minutes, although considering the distance it might take him an hour."
"Must have a long way to come," Sean said. The town only took about five minutes to drive through and that was only if you hit the traffic light when it was red.
The policeman said, "He's riding a bicycle."
"Why is he riding a bicycle?" Sean asked puzzled.
"We ran out of police cars," the policeman answered pointing to the flattened police car. He gestured over to a bicycle parked a short distance away and said, "That's my bike. It is a ten speed."
"It must be hard to pull over speeders," Sean said imagining the police peddling like mad to catch up to a car going seventy miles an hour.
"Uh, yeah," the policeman said. Cars didn't even slow down when they gave pursuit on bicycle.
"Maybe we should go to him," Sean said thinking that it would be the polite thing to do.
The policeman said, "No. According to his wife, he needs the exercise. He's lost about ten pounds since his car got flattened."
"Why doesn't he use his personal car?" Sean asked. He noticed Stomp pulling another sapling from the ground. He was running the branches through his hair.
Pointing to the other end of the parking lot, the policeman said, "It was flatted over there."
"Oh, I didn't notice it," Sean said looking in the direction the policeman pointed. Of course, a flattened car was a little difficult to spot from a distance.
Pointing to the mall, the policeman said, "There he is."
"It will only take him five minutes to get here," Sean said watching the bicycle off in the distance. The bike was going all over the place. It stopped and the man on bike stood there. Puzzled, Sean asked, "What is he doing?"
"He's catching his breath," the policeman said watching the chief stand there breathing heavily.
"He went fifty feet," Sean said incredulously.
"He's doing better," the policeman said with a nod of approval. Looking over at Sean, he said, "There was a time when he couldn't walk that far."
"You don't say," Sean said.
No one had noticed that Stomp had come over to see what they were watching. Surprising everyone, he said, "Fatman Come."
With a yelp, the police officer backed away. He shouted, "Don't sneak up on me like that!"
"Want Wrestle," Stomp asked looking at the policeman.
"Just stay away from me," the policeman said.
"No fun," Stomp said crossing his arms and looking unhappy. He added, "Want play."
Suzie looked over at Sean knowing that there was only one person who could possibly play with the troll and that person was Sean. She said, "Why don't you go play with the troll?"
"How?" Sean asked thinking that wrestling was definitely out of the question. He doubted that Coach Slaughter would even last a minute with the troll.
"Use your magic," Suzie said.
Sean reached into one of his pockets and pulled out a pair of gloves. After putting them on, he went over to one of the saplings and used magic on the glove to pull it from the ground. Holding the sapling out in front of him, he called to Stomp, "Hey Stomp. Let's play swords."
Delighted that someone wanted to play with him, Stomp grinned and grabbed a sapling. They roared and charged each other across the small clearing. They both swung their saplings. With a great crash, the saplings came together and then broke. Sean and Stomp stood there looking at their broken pretend swords. Stomp said, "Bigger sticks."
"Yeah," Sean said running over to a slightly larger tree. He pulled it from the ground.
The policeman looked at Sean and said, "That's not normal."
Watching the pair, Suzie turned to the policeman and said, "Sometimes he's just a big boy who likes to play."
"Which one?" the policeman asked.
"Sean," Suzie said with a smile. The bigger trees they were using now made satisfactory thuds when they hit. They still broke after the first swing or two. She said, "Isn't he cute?"
"He's swinging a tree," the policeman said staring at Sean. The scrawny little kid shouldn't have been able to pick it up much less pull it out of the ground.
Charging across the meadow with his tree held over his head, Sean shouted, "You scurvy pirate!"
"Good fun," Stomp shouted swinging his tree. There was a huge crack when the trees hit each other. The top halves sagged to the ground.
"Bigger tree," Sean said.
While the pair separated to get bigger trees, Suzie turned to the policeman and said, "That'll keep them busy for a while."
"He's swinging trees at a monster," the policeman said still staring at the action.
Suzie said, "All the troll wants is a bridge to live under and to charge people a toll to cross the bridge."
"He's going to jail when we figure out how to arrest him," the policeman said.
Suzie shook her head and said, "A jail cell won't keep Stomp contained. He walked through the wall at the mall."
"That's true," the policeman said. There was a huge crash from where Sean and the troll were fighting. He heard a strange noise from the troll and asked, "What's that noise?"
"I think he's laughing," Suzie said looking over at the troll. The troll was rocking forwards and backwards with his hands on his stomach. Sean was laughing as well.
Looking over at the parking lot, the policeman noticed that police chief was halfway there. He said, "The chief is making good time today."
"He's not very good on the bike," Suzie said noticing a definite wobble to the contraption.
"He hasn't fallen down once on the trip here," the policeman said approvingly. The chief promptly fell over. He said, "I spoke too soon."
"That bike seems a little small for him," Suzie said watching the chief struggle to get back on the bike. From the distance, it looked a lot like a kid's bike.
"He couldn't get his leg up high enough to get on an adult bike," the policeman answered. They had to reinforce the frame to support the weight. There was a very loud crash behind them.
Suzie turned and yelled, "Boys, be good and don't destroy the woods."
"Okay, Suzie," Sean shouted back.
"Yes Lady," Stomp said having spotted a very tall tree without any branches except for two very odd ones at the very top. Their play had started with little trees barely an inch in diameter and had progressed steadily up to trees that were seven inches in diameter. This tree was a foot in diameter and would make a very satisfying noise when used. He headed over to the tree in order to pull it out of the ground. There was another tree just like it not too far away.
Suzie turned back to face the policeman and said, "I'm afraid that Stomp might get carried away."
"Good Stick," Stomp shouted to Sean while pulling his tree from the ground.
Sean turned to check out what Stomp was doing in order to know how big of a tree he needed to get. Seeing what Stomp was doing, Sean shouted, "Don't Stomp."
The rather startled cry of Sean attracted Suzie's attention. She turned to see what was happening. She saw that Stomp was pulling a utility pole out of the ground. Stomp said, "Odd tree."
Putting a hand to her forehead, Suzie said, "Oh no."
"Watch out," Sean said when the utility pole finally was wrestled from the ground.
Sean's warning was too late since the act of pulling the utility pole from the ground had snapped wires attached to it. The wires fell to the ground amidst a shower of sparks. Trying to control the pole, Stomp stepped back on the power line. The sudden introduction of massive quantities of electricity into his body caused him to jump and release the pole. The pole arced away; tumbling end over end as it flew across the parking lot of the mall.
In the middle of the parking lot, the chief had taken another break to catch his breath. Fortunately for him, he had watched the entire scene unfold. Seeing that the pole was headed directly at him, the chief scrambled off his bike. He fled leaving the bike lying on the ground. With a horrible crash, the utility pole landed on the bike crushing it flat.
Having observed the entire sequence of events, the policeman commented, "That whole parking lot and it lands on the chief's bike."
"He's lucky," Suzie said.
The policeman shook his head and said, "He's lost two patrol cars, his personal car, and now his bike. He's not going to be happy about that. He really liked that bike."
Suzie said, "I've never seen anyone move that fast."
"Pretty impressive considering how fat he is," the policeman said.
"That was so cool," Sean said sidling over to Suzie.
"How's Stomp?" Suzie asked afraid to look.
Sean looked back to watch Stomp jump up and down on the electric wire. Each time he hit the wire there sparks of electricity, the troll would be thrown ten feet away. He would land and then rush back at the electric wire. There was a huge smile on the troll's face. Sean answered, "Stomp is having fun."
Suzie looked over at Stomp in time to see him grab the fallen power line. Stomp was dancing around the clearing. She said, "Fun like that could kill him."
"Nah, he's okay," Sean said waving a hand dismissively.
Bouncing around the clearing, Stomp held the power line in his fist. He looked over at Sean and shouted, "Great snake. Come play."
"Later," Sean shouted back. He leaned over to Suzie and said, "I'm not playing with that wire until after they turn off the electricity."
"Smart," Suzie said rolling her eyes.
An hour later, Sean, Suzie, the policeman, Chief Fastman (the brother of the other Chief Fastman), and the manager of the mall were gathered around a table in the dark conference room located deep within the mall. There was a flashlight providing illumination for the meeting. Chief Fastman and the manager of the mall, Mr. Hoffman, were not happy men. Chief Fastman said, "He smashed my bike."
"There's no electricity in the mall," Mr. Hoffman said. The store owners were all pretty upset to begin with about having a mall on the property scaring away customers. Losing electricity had left him facing an angry mob of mad merchants.
"Stomp isn't very happy either," Sean said.
"He smashed my bike," Chief Fastman said repeating his complaint for the hundredth time.
"Would you shut up about that bike?" Mr. Hoffman said irritated by the Chief's fixation on his bike.
Chief Fastman said, "I liked that bike."
"I'm sure you did," Suzie said.
"It looked like a nice bike," Sean said.
"I liked that bike," Chief Fastman said.
"Really? I had no idea," Sean said. He leaned over to Suzie and said, "I think he liked that bike."
"He's only said that a thousand times," Suzie said rolling her eyes.
"He's going to buy me a new bike," Chief Fastman said.
"Stomp doesn't have any money," Suzie said.
Nodding his head in agreement, Sean said, "He's homeless."
"I've got a home for him. It is called a jail cell," Chief Fastman.
Sean said, "You might want to talk to Chief Fastman about that."
"Which one?" Chief Fastman asked.
"Which one what?" Sean asked.
"I've got eight brothers and one sister. All of us are Chiefs except my sister," Chief Fastman answered.
"What is your sister?" Sean asked.
"She's a state trooper," Chief Fastman answered.
"I take it that law enforcement runs in your family," Sean said.
"Not really. I come from a long line of accountants. Dad was an accountant, Granddad was an accountant, and Great-granddad was an accountant," Chief Fastman answered.
"Oh," Sean said. He looked at Suzie and shrugged his shoulders not really knowing how to respond to that.
Chief Fastman said, "He'd probably tear that jail cell apart."
Mr. Hoffman said, "I don't care about your bike or your jail cell. I've got a hundred store owners up in arms about not having any electricity. They are already upset about having a troll living here and chasing off customers."
"What do you expect me to do about that?" Chief Fastman asked.
"Arrest it," Mr. Hoffman answered.
"I've tried," Chief Fastman said.
"Try harder," Mr. Hoffman said glowering at the chief.
"Ten of us can't wrestle it to the ground. Bullets tickle it. It ate the handcuffs we managed to put on it. It giggles when we hit it with the Tazer," Chief Fastman said.
Sean said, "All Stomp wants is a home. Isn't there a bridge around here?"
"No," Chief Fastman answered.
"All you need to do is build a little bridge for Stomp to live under. He'll charge people tolls and can pay for all of the damage out of the tolls he collects," Suzie said.
"That's all we need," Mr. Hoffman said in disgust. "A troll living here will scare everyone away."
Sean said, "Use him to attract customers. He's actually a pretty nice person for a troll."
"Advertise that you have the only toll troll at an American mall," Suzie said.
"Are you saying that I should turn him into a tourist attraction?" Mr. Hoffman asked.
"Are you saying that he can pay for my bike?" Chief Fastman asked.
"Yes and yes," Suzie answered.