Amber walked around the camper. After her third circuit around it, she stopped by Dexter.
"It's big," she said.
"Yeah," Dexter said looking over the camper.
He had just hooked the huge truck up to it. Amber was there because he hadn't been sure if he would be able to hook up the camper, without someone guiding him. Even with her help, it had taken more than a dozen attempts to line the ball of the trailer hitch, to the receiver of the camper.
"Do you know how to drive, pulling something like that?" Amber asked.
"Of course! I'm a guy," Dexter said somewhat confidently.
He had no idea how he was going to pull that behind the truck.
Amber looked at Dexter and then burst out laughing.
At his pained expression, she said, "You've got no idea what you're doing."
Dexter looked sheepish for a moment. "No, I don't."
"It's big," Amber said looking back at the camper.
"I know," Dexter said.
Amber asked, "What do we do now?"
"I guess we get in the truck and take it on the road," Dexter answered.
Dexter held the door open for Amber. She climbed into the truck thankful that she was wearing blue jeans. There was no way a woman could climb into that monster truck with a skirt and maintain much, if any, modesty. Dexter closed the door, and walked around to the driver's side. He opened the door and climbed into the truck.
"I really appreciate you helping me out like this," Dexter said while starting the engine.
"I wasn't doing anything today, anyway," Amber said.
Dexter pulled forward a little and started to turn the wheel. He glanced in the mirror and slammed on the brakes. He had almost hit the car parked next to the camper.
"This isn't good."
"What?"
"I don't know if I can get out of here," Dexter said.
He backed the truck up watching the camper in the mirror.
It took Dexter three attempts to get the camper out of the parking spot. He had to move forward a bit, back up a bit, move forward a bit more, and then turn so that he missed the cars to either side and the one in front. In a way, he was lucky that it was the middle of the day in the middle of the week. He never would have been able to get it out of the parking lot on the weekend.
"That wasn't too bad," Amber said as under her breath, she added, "for a near disaster."
She had been watching when the camper missed one of the parked cars by less than two inches. She looked over at Dexter. He was sweating.
"It should be easier, from now on," Amber said.
Dexter ran over the curb when leaving the parking lot. He couldn't change lanes because cars were whipping past on both sides. He nearly didn't get it stopped at the first intersection in time. He nearly hit a telephone pole when he turned a corner. That got him a block away from the apartment complex.
"This isn't going so well," Dexter said.
His hands were starting to hurt from holding onto the steering wheel so tightly.
"You're doing fine," Amber said.
"We'll see," Dexter said.
Amber said, "You know this isn't really intended for driving in the city. I bet it will be a lot better when you get on an interstate."
"Maybe," Dexter said.
The longest half hour of Dexter's life passed before he reached the street on which he formerly lived. Whether through luck or some minor skill, he managed to arrive without causing an accident.
He was about to turn into the driveway of his old house when Amber said, "Stop."
Dexter hit the brakes wondering if he had missed seeing something. "What?"
"What are you doing?" Amber asked.
"I'm turning into the driveway," Dexter said.
Amber said, "You're going to have to back the camper into the driveway ... unless you can drive the truck out the back of the garage."
"Damn," Dexter swore.
Amber said, "I better get out, so that I can direct you."
"Okay," Dexter said.
Amber climbed out of the truck and walked over to the driveway. She stood where Dexter could see her. Dexter pulled forward a bit so that he could back into the driveway. He put it into reverse and cut the wheel. The camper went in the wrong direction. Dexter growled. Amber shook her head. Dexter pulled forward again, and started backing up.
Dexter was lucky that the house had a driveway wide enough to fit two cars. He used the whole driveway getting the camper into it. He parked the truck and got out to see how he had done.
Amber said, "Well, you did a pretty good job of taking up the whole driveway."
"I guess it is a little crooked," Dexter said.
"For a minute there, I thought you were trying to parallel park it," Amber said with a smile.
"It seemed that way to me, too," Dexter said. "I guess I better straighten it out."
"That would be a good idea," Amber said.
Dexter climbed back into the truck. Rather than immediately trying to get the camper straightened, he thought about what needed to be done. It took him a minute to get all of the steps laid out in his mind. He started the truck and began his maneuvers. Much to his surprise, things went much better. Amber directed him when to stop.
Once he parked the truck, Amber walked around behind the camper. Dexter looked down the street, and noticed Janet's car approaching. He wondered what she was doing home in the middle of the day. Then he remembered that she only worked part time, now.
Janet pulled into the driveway waving at Dexter. Her car came to an immediate stop when Amber appeared from behind the camper.
Dexter did not know that Janet could move so fast. She was out of her car, and facing Amber, in a fraction of a second. Dexter also did not know that his wife's face could turn that particular shade of red.
He climbed out of the truck in time to hear Janet say, "Who are you?"
"I'm Amber."
"What are you doing here?"
"I'm helping Dexter?" Amber answered without much confidence.
There had been a few occasions in her job where she had run into a jealous girlfriend or an angry wife. She knew the best course of action was to get out of the way as quickly as possible. She looked at the truck wondering if there was anyway to get past Janet and into the truck without suffering serious injury.
Dexter muttered, "This is not good."
"Aren't you a little young for him?" Janet asked.
"Not really," Amber answered.
The words were hardly out of her mouth before she realized she had just made a major error.
"He'll be in adult diapers by the time you get out of high school," Janet said coldly.
"That's mean," Dexter muttered. Then he said, "Hey! I'm not that old."
Janet slowly turned to look at Dexter. In a frigid voice, she asked, "What is this monstrosity?"
"That's my camper," Dexter answered while gesturing toward it.
"Oh, Jesus. You've started your mid-life crisis, already. Young bimbos, and expensive toys," Janet said.
"Actually, the camper and truck were gifts," Dexter said.
"And the bimbo?"
Dexter said, "She's not a bimbo. She's a friend of mine."
"What bar did you meet her in?" Janet asked.
"I hired her," Dexter said.
"To do what?" Janet asked.
The way in which Janet asked the question left little doubt what she thought Dexter had hired her to do. The look she gave Amber angered the young woman.
"Uh ... Um ... That's kind of hard to answer," Dexter said.
"He hired me to be his wife for a week," Amber said.
"What!"
Amber stepped forward and said, "Yes. He hired me to be his wife. You see, he was just out of heart surgery, and couldn't take care of himself, because his 'wife' was divorcing him. So he hired me to feed him and to run errands, and to watch over his recovery. You know ... things a loving wife should do ... but then, you wouldn't know about that."
Janet turned pale.
Amber continued walking slowly towards Janet. She said, "So I took care of him. I cooked, I cleaned, and I took him to his appointments. I nagged him to take his pills and to rest. You know ... I did everything a good wife should do."
Janet took a step back.
"Did I sleep with him? I slept in his bed with him, but sleep is all we did. I'm sure you know all about how wives sleep with their husbands, and don't have sex with them."
"I..."
"It wasn't easy sleeping with him. I listened to him cry at night, when he thought I was asleep. I don't know how many times he woke me as a result of nightmares in which he called out your name. It broke my heart," Amber said.
Janet shook her head in denial.
Amber said, "Imagine someone having to hire a woman to act like a wife, while he's recovering from surgery. That has to be depressing, but Dexter isn't a sad man. I watched him struggle to appreciate the good things in his life. I envy his strength."
"I..."
"That's when I fell in love with him," Amber said.
"Oh, no!" Janet cried.
"What?" Dexter asked.
Amber said, "Samantha calls him her eccentric uncle. I think of him like that. There are times when he's funny without meaning to be. There are times when he's serious. He does funny little things to make you laugh. He's the eccentric uncle that you can't help but love."
"I'm not eccentric," Dexter muttered.
Janet asked, "Who is Samantha?"
"Another of Dexter's friends," Amber answered.
"How old is she?" Janet asked.
Dexter asked, "What's that got to do with anything?"
"Same age as me," Amber said.
"Is she fucking him?" Janet asked.
"No!" Dexter said.
"You're one sick bitch."
"Don't call me sick," Janet said.
"You text him that you want a divorce, then you sign the divorce papers on his birthday, and then you've got the nerve to accuse him of having sex with his friends. Do you know what that makes you?" Amber asked.
"I don't give a damn what you think," Janet said.
Amber said, "I think you're a fucking sadist, who gets off on making Dexter suffer."
"How dare you say that?" Janet shouted.
Dexter stared at Amber unable to believe what she was saying.
He muttered, "Sadist?"
Amber said, "I bet if we took a vote, that opinion would win bigger than Obama in the last election."
"You bitch," Janet said. "I know you're fucking him."
"You don't fuck your uncle," Amber said dismissively.
"I wouldn't put it past you," Janet said.
"I bet Dexter hasn't been laid since he divorced you. I doubt he was laid for years before then, either. That's got to be torture," Amber said.
"And you're going to be the one to take care of him?" Janet asked cattily.
"I can arrange a date for him in a minute. There are women all over this city who would love to catch him," Amber said.
"How'd my sex life get into this?" Dexter asked.
There was no way he was going mention his trips to Nevada.
The two women ignored him. The volume of their discussion rose even higher.
Dexter looked over at the trailer and said, "Maybe I'd better unhook that."
Dexter went over to the trailer, and went through the process of unhooking it. This was a bit more complicated than the old pop-up tent trailer of his youth, since it included weight distribution rods. Everything had to be released in the proper order.
While working, he would occasionally look over at the women. They were still going at it tooth and nail. There was a little fear that it might escalate to violence. He wasn't sure what he would do if that happened.
After he got the ball unhooked from the receiver, he climbed in the truck to pull it away so that the camper could be leveled. He only moved the truck a couple of feet forward. Exiting the truck he looked around. The women were gone.
"That's not good," Dexter said. "I probably should have parked this over at Eric's house."
Dexter went over to one of the side cabinets to remove the wood blocks that went under the leveler legs. He lined everything up and went inside to activate the automatic leveler system. That was a whole lot nicer than having to crank the supports on the old pop-up tent trailer. When it was finally leveled, Dexter stepped out to make sure that everything was as it should be.
The guy who had delivered the trailer had warned him that he should shut down the power for the trailer when parking it for extended periods of time. There were small electrical items that put a consistent load on the batteries. If he didn't shut off the circuit, then the batteries would be drained, when it was time to move the trailer.
Dexter couldn't remember where the switch was so he went inside the trailer and grabbed the manual. He was sitting there reading the manual when Will stuck his head through the door.
Will asked, "What's this?"
"It's a camper," Dexter said.
"You're going camping?" Will asked.
Dexter said, "I guess so. I've got to buy some stuff first."
"It looks like it has everything," Will said staring at the flat screen television.
"I still need to get the essentials like blankets, pillows, pots, pans, plates, and all that kind of stuff," Dexter said.
"Neat," Will said.
Dexter asked, "Would you like to go camping sometime?"
"Well, I ... sure," Will answered.
"Excellent."
"All of us?" Will asked.
"You and your sister," Dexter said.
"How about Mom?"
Dexter said, "We're divorced."
"Oh ... Yeah, I guess that would be kind of awkward."
"Yeah."
The front door opened. Will looked over and then did a double take.
He asked, "Who's the babe?"
"That's Amber," Dexter answered even though he couldn't see who had stepped out of the house.
"So you traded Mom in for a younger model," Will said in disgust.
"I didn't trade your mother in for anything. In case you don't remember, she asked me for the divorce. Amber is just a friend," Dexter said.
"Right," Will said in disbelief. "Will she be going camping with you?"
"No," Dexter answered. "Well ... I hadn't thought about it. I suppose I could ask her to go."
"I'm not going if she's going," Will declared.
"All right, then I won't ask her," Dexter said.
"Okay," Will said.
Amber stopped behind Will. "You must be Will."
"Yes," Will answered in a voice colder than Canada in winter.
"Your mother asked me to ask you to pick up your sister from school," Amber said.
"Oh," Will said.
Amber said, "She also invited me to stay for dinner. She said that you would drop me off, to pick up my car, later. I hope you don't mind."
"Sure," Will said, surprised that his mother was volunteering him to be Amber's taxi.
"This is not good at all," Dexter muttered.
When Will left, Amber said, "I hope you don't mind if I stay here and talk to Janet for a bit."
"No, I don't mind," Dexter said thinking that this was going to come back to haunt him.
He looked at Amber for a moment and then added, "I know that you mean to be nice when you say that I'm like an eccentric uncle, but I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell everyone that."
"Why?" Amber asked.
"It just makes me look kind of ... well ... not very manly," Dexter said. "It gives the impression that I'm feeble, weak, incompetent ... and not much of a man."
Amber said, "Oh. I didn't think of it that way."
"One more thing," Dexter said.
"What?" Amber asked.
"I have been laid several times since I separated from my ex-wife," Dexter said.
He was surprised by the disappointed expression on Amber's face as she said, "Oh, sorry."
Edited By TeNderLoin