We were just coming back up from the beach when Dolly, Bob, and Riekie drove in. Riekie was driving. She had a grin from ear to ear. We met them as they parked.
I sidled up to Riekie. I gave her a light tap on the arm "Judging by the grin, you passed."
Riekie turned. "Yup! The examiner was really impressed that I could handle this big ol' boat! (the big ol' boat was a 9-passenger station wagon) When I told him I helped Mom drive down from home with the U-Haul, he was really impressed! I'm so happy! Now, whenever Mom and Dad will let us have the car, we can go out of town to shows and stuff."
Suddenly, she threw her arms around me, and gave me a big hug. Her face nuzzled up to my ear. She whispered. "By the look on Carol's face YOU passed too!" she giggled, then wistfully. "I wish I had someone to love me like you do her." I just hugged her back. The moment passed and she let go.
We soon got all the groceries unloaded and in the house. Carol and Riekie ran off outside, laughing and giggling like any teenage girls to swap stories about their day. Bob and I headed down to the beach. We got out the fins and snorkels and had a ball exploring the bottom of the lake.
I was always amazed at Bob. He never tried to pry into what Carol and I did, although from time to time he would look curious. I was impressed, so today, as we lay back on the beach after our marathon snorkeling, I asked him about it. I thought I knew, but had to ask anyway.
"Bob, we've been friends for over a year now (a year is an eternity to the young). We've talked about everything under the sun, and a lot of stuff above (both Sci-Fi fans). When we got curious about something, we'd ask each other. We've never kept secrets or been embarrassed to ask questions of each other. Hell, we've even jerked off together to the same Playboy picture, and measured each other's hard-on (teenage boys are inordinately obsessed with the length of their penises). But since Carol and I got together, that's changed. We still talk about a lot of stuff, and we have a lot of fun together, but you've never said a word about me and Carol. She tells Riekie everything. Usually she just tells her, but Riekie's not afraid to ask, either. So why don't you ask me?"
"I'm not sure. There's a whole lot going through my head. First, it's my sister. As a brother, I'm happy she has a boyfriend, but I'm nervous and defensive of her, too. What I don't know can't hurt me. Then, you're my best friend. If something bad happened between you and Carol and you broke up, you might not want to be my friend anymore, either. Again, what I don't know can't hurt me, meaning if I don't know, then I can't so easily be forced to 'choose sides' if you guys ever got nasty with each other."
"I see. I can understand that, I think. I don't know what I'd do if Val was thick with one of my best friends, but is that all?" As it turned out, I did have that experience a few years later. She married him. I felt what Bob told me wasn't everything, though.
"No, that isn't all. In a strange way, I'm jealous."
"What's so strange? Your sister stole your best friend's heart. Now you have to share him with her."
"Yeah, but that's not all... I'm jealous the other way, too. I'm jealous of you with her. I feel you're taking her away from me. Carol and me were always pretty close. That's what's strange. I've wanted to tell you about this, but I was afraid you'd get mad at me. I didn't want it to come between us as friends."
'At first glance, it seems strange, maybe. Look, I've said I read a lot of Dad's books. In them there's all sorts of stories about just what you're talking about... brothers and sisters get a crush on the other. It's not unusual, and most times they work through it, usually when one or the other find a partner. You'll lose THAT jealousy as soon as you find a girl. I can almost guarantee that. Tell the truth, until I met Carol, I'd fantasize about Val. We're close, and neither of us had a boy or girlfriend. From the way she's been the last while with me, I think she's feeling something like you. I'd be a damn fool if I let something like that wreck our friendship."
"Somehow, that's what I figured you'd say. But you know, the REAL reason I don't ask or pry, is because of the day you guys did the phone sex thing. When I heard those girls all screaming, I somehow KNEW, what they were screaming about. I just didn't know what brought it on. I got a HUGE hard-on <grin>. When Mom started yelling at Riekie and Joanne, I thought it was over them jerking off. It scared me, and I stopped what I was doing. I thought I'd be next." We both laughed at this. Every teenager has the fear of being caught masturbating.
"But then I heard her yelling at them about breaking trust and invading privacy. I was completely freaked out. Then you know what my mother did? She knocked on my door, and ASKED if she could come in to talk to me. My mom NEVER asks; she just walks in. That, alone, made me think something important had happened or was about to. She came in, sat down, and explained everything. She told me about you and Carol on the phone. She didn't go into any details, but what she did say got my boner going. I was uncomfortable with it, but Mom, bless her, if she noticed, never let on. The point she was trying to make, was about the girls breaking trust and invading YOUR privacy. She really impressed me. I think she had the same talk with Carol. <I nodded> The only time she yelled at Carol, was through the bathroom door, asking her if she was OK.
"Then you came over, and what you said about friendship, trust and truth really hit me hard. For the first time in my life, I had to look at what friendship really meant. I'd always taken being a friend for granted. I had no idea friendship meant that much to you, or what it should mean to me. Did you learn that from your dad, too?
"That day, I learned the true value and importance of friendship. And that's REALLY why I don't ask you about what you and Carol do, or feel about each other. It's none of my business. Yeah, I get curious sometimes, who doesn't? But it's NOT my place, as your friend to ask. If you have something special you want to share or something you want to talk about regarding your relationship with her, I figured you'd come to me, but so far you haven't. I was a little bit hurt by that at first, but knowing how important your own privacy is too, especially after that incident, I let it go.
"A friend doesn't pry. He listens. The only questions permitted are those generated by the conversation to move it along. I've thought a lot about this. I talked to my own dad about it. We've never been that close because of him being away working. I think he was really happy that we could have that kind of talk. I know I sure liked it. We were friends ourselves afterward. He was the one who told me about the listening part. I talked to Opa the other day. He told me the same thing. Anyway, that's why I don't ask you any questions. When you're ready, or need to, you'll come to me. Friends share those types of things, but in their own time."
I was overwhelmed. I knew the friendship speech had a major impact on Riekie, and yes, Carol. Their relationship had undergone significant changes. They were much more open with each other, and because of Carol and me being so close, by extension, I was included in that. That Bob felt so strongly about friendship was almost another epiphany for me.
Suddenly, our own relationship developed a warmth, depth and maturity that has lasted a lifetime since. We might not see or hear from each other for years on end, but when one of us needs the other we will drop what we are doing and go to the aid of a friend. Oh, there might be a little grumbling about convenience, but that's trivial, and we both know it.
Until this moment, I had lived by what my dad had taught me about friendship, but I don't think I completely grasped it. It seemed Bob suddenly had a better handle on it than me. I let it sink in, and cherished this new feeling.
"Bob, I don't know what to say. You've touched me in a way no one ever has, except possibly Carol. I feel like I've left you out. You SHOULD know what's going on, so you can understand and help me, and yes, your sister. Especially if/when we come on bad times. Somehow, I know we will." If I'd only known how truly prophetic those words were...
We had been sitting side by side on the beach. Suddenly, our arms were around each others shoulders, just looking out over the lake. We had bonded. The physical contact was just two people sharing a moment. There was no embarrassment at two guys touching. The physical contact just allowed us to share. Since then, I've never been afraid to hug a friend.
"Do you want a brief outline, or the whole gory tale?"
"First what happened today? When we came home, Carol looked radiant. I've never seen her so happy. Did you ask her to marry you or something?"
"No, not yet, anyway. We made love." He gasped. "Not that way. She's still a virgin, and so am I. We were just very intimate, and I gave her in person what I tried to give over the phone. I also kept her trust. She didn't want to go all the way, but because of the passion today, she could very easily have been seduced. I didn't, and stayed to her plan. She's happy because she knows for sure now she can trust me, and I think the radiance is just the afterglow of several HUGE orgasms. I think she passed out once." He was grinning.
"Wow! OK, how do you guys feel about each other?"
"In a word, ol' buddy: LOVE. No, it's not just some average teenage affair like we see at school all the time. Remember all those kids falling all over each other in the stairwells, gushing love to each other one week, only each one will be with someone new the next? We're not like that. We are truly, deeply, madly in love. Sounds kinda corny, but it's true. We can't stand to be apart for very long. When we're together, we feel complete. When we're together, we often don't have to talk. We seem to know what the other is thinking. It's amazing how much communication there is in a simple touch, a squeeze of the hand, a look. But we talk, too, and absolutely no subject is taboo: sex, babies, friends, school, hopes and dreams... all those and more."
I was getting overwhelmed with my love, just talking about it. This was GOOD to talk to someone else how I felt about Carol besides her. When I talked to her, I felt the love, but you sometimes can't see the flames if you're too close to the fire. Talking to Bob allowed me to look at it from a distance. The good part was, if anything, my feelings for her proved honest, and if anything, stronger. It was a catharsis talking to Bob.
"Excuse me, but just when did you know how you felt about her? " Bob took the lead and started really drawing me out. He seemed to know I needed to tell him.
"You're not going to believe this, Robert, but I knew it the very first time I saw her. When she opened that door that day, I saw the most beautiful creature in the universe. When I looked in her eyes that day I just KNEW, right down to the tips of my fingers and toes. Hell, I even instantly knew her full name, Carol Anne Scott. You'd never told me that. Shit, we hardly ever talked about your sisters. Most guys don't. They're just fixtures, furniture, almost in our lives. So, don't ask me how I new her name, I just KNEW. That was the most powerful moment in my life. Am I making ant sense?" I was really starting to get wound up.
"Holy Shit, Batman! That's the most amazing thing I ever heard! I'd heard of it, but never thought I'd see it happen! I have no doubt, just listening to you, that it's true, and your feelings are genuine. The way you say her name sends a chill down my spine! That's awesome!" Briefly, his arm tightened on my shoulder. I was almost bawling with the intensity of what I was feeling.
"So how do you know what Carol feels?"
"She told me."
"And you believed her? Are her feelings as strong as yours?"
"Of course I believed her! And yes, her feelings are every bit as strong as mine. Sometimes I think they're stronger. You know? Today she made me promise to make babies with her someday. I was so happy, but it scared me a bit, too."
"Jesus! That's intense! Have you guys talked about how you feel?"
"All the time, now."
"When did she know how she felt? When did you guys first talk about your feelings?" Bob had learned my interview technique very well. I said before, he has one of the most brilliant minds I've ever known.
"Second question first. Remember that day last month when you guys left us alone on the back lawn? You figured your mom would keep an eye out? Well, Carol started it. Up until then, we were comfortable just letting each other know the other was VERY special by look and touch. She asked me how I felt about her, more importantly, my first reaction to her. I was scared shitless, Bobby-boy. I was terrified that if I told her everything, the intensity of what I felt would scare her away. I tried to hedge a little, but as soon as I opened my mouth, it ALL came tumbling out. I told her what I just told you, only in a lot more detail. It was incredibly intense. When I finished, I felt drained, and waited for her to tell me she didn't feel that way, and maybe we'd better back off. I told her that, too. But, ya know what, Buddy?
"I think I can guess, but you're gonna tell me anyway, 'cause you need to." I looked at my friend with growing respect, and squeezed his shoulder.
"She said the SAME thing happened to her! She said that when she looked in my eyes, and I quote: 'I didn't know for sure, but I was pretty sure, that MY MAN was standing right there in front of me. I had a funny urge to throw myself in his arms right then.' Those words burned into my brain, Bud. Bob, we had an almost identical experience! The only difference was that she didn't know me from shit, so she didn't get hit with the name thing like I did, so she was a little hesitant at first. That's why she played 20 questions with you. She wasn't just the curious girl checking out a new guy in town. She just HAD to know. It was driving her nuts to have these feelings and not know what it really was. Then, when you finally told her who I was, she started to realize what she'd felt. When she heard my voice on the phone that first time, all I said was 'Hi! Carol?" and she KNEW instantly. She said she almost fainted, the feeling was so strong."
"Yeah, I remember her getting this funny look on her face. She was standing right by me when she spoke with you. She sat down in the chair real sudden, almost like she collapsed. So you guys had a great talk that day?"
"O-o-o-h-h-h Yeah! We were both petrified that we would scare the other off with how strongly we felt. After she told me what happened to her, I was quiet for a while, just letting it sink in, and feeling this — this JOY. I guess I was quiet too long. She got scared and started to cry. That scared me, but then I 'kissed it better' as they say. Our relationship took on a whole new, wonderful dimension after that. That day, we were so emotionally spent we just held each other and went to sleep."
"Yeah, I know. Riekie and I came to get ya's to do something. When we saw you like that, Riekie clued in right away that something special happened, and we left you alone. I saw Mom watching you out the kitchen window. She had the funniest look on her face. After that day, you and Carol were different, somehow. We all knew it, but couldn't put our finger on it. Now, at least I know. So where to from here, Old Pal-Old Friend?" He still calls me that.
"I don't know, Bob. The future scares me, but for now, I know who, and where, the Love of My Life, is. That's all I need to know for now. That, and I got the best 'Best Friend' anybody could want."
"That's what friends are for..."
We just sat together, arms around each others shoulders, looking out over the lake. Each was lost in his own thoughts. We didn't need to talk anymore. We were just THERE.
Tante Pie came to call us for supper. She gave us an odd look when she saw us with our arms around each other, but never said a word. The moment finally broken, we went up to eat. As we walked in the house, the girls walked around the other side. They looked kind of serious, but happy, too. I guess Bob and I looked similar. They'd been off doing something together. Later that night, when Carol and I went for our walk, we had quite a chat. We were strolling along, arms around each others waist. I was thoughtful, after today's talk with Bob, and she seemed to have something on her mind as well.
"Riekie and me were sitting up in the old lawn swing. We could see you and Bob swimming at the beach. Then it looked like you were having an awfully serious talk. Is it OK between you two? I'm not getting between you as friends am I? Can you tell me about it?"
Sensing there was more here than what she thought she saw, I opened up. "Yeah, you were coming between us." I felt her stiffen. I hugged her tighter to reassure her. "Not any more, though."
She looked at me with a question. I continued. "I realized today that I needed Bob as a friend, someone to talk to besides you, and that I had hurt him by not confiding some things to him. Basically, I was leaving him out. So we had it out. No arguments. I just asked him why he never asked about us. He said as a friend he couldn't/wouldn't pry, but left it open that I should be able to tell him stuff without him asking. That's when I realized I had to tell him about us, if for no other reason than to help sort out my own feelings.
"I told him EVERYTHING, not with all the gory details or blow by blow description, but all the important stuff. I even told him about today. You know? Your brother is one-of-a-kind. Once I started pouring my heart out, he just listened. The only questions he asked were to keep me going. I felt drained at the end, but real good, too. He never said anything. He just was glad to be included in my life again.
"Hope you're not mad at me for telling Bob about us making love today? It was the look of fulfillment and joy on your face when they came home today that brought that up. Bob noticed it, and asked if I'd proposed or something. I couldn't help myself. I even told him about the promise you extracted from me today. Because he's a true friend, he'll never say a word to another soul, but I felt he should know."
I wound down. We walked along in silence. I could hear the wheels turning in her pretty head. Just as I was going to offer a penny, she started.
"How could I be angry with you for confiding in a friend? You already told me it was OK to tell Riekie about today, so I don't see any difference there. I'm sorry I kept quiet so long. I was just getting over a shock."
A chill went down my spine." A- A shock?"
She sensed my fear, laughed, and hugged tighter. "Silly! Not a bad thing. The shock was that lightning seems to strike twice with us."
I gave her a really strange look. "Huh?"
"Well, we didn't just fall in love as a relationship developed. We were both hit by the same bolt of lightning the first time we met." I liked her imagery. "Now it's hit again."
My look was incredulous. "You mean..."
She picked right up on it. "Yeah, Riekie and I had an almost identical conversation. And... to show how close the two conversations were, I told her I made you promise to make babies with me someday. We came out of it closer than we've ever been before. We really are friends, now, and she's so happy for us! Oh, have I told you yet today how much I love you?"
"Jesus H. Christ! I don't believe it! What it is with us? This would be spooky if I wasn't so happy! Yeah. Bob and I are a lot closer now, too. It was just so nice to be able to tell someone else how I felt and what we feel. It made it that much stronger, I think, sharing it. Yeah, you told me, but I think it was in the heat of passion again..."? She punched my arm.
"That's the best time to tell you. But for the record: William David Lloyd, I love you, I love you, I love you."
"Carol Anne Scott, I love you, I love you, I love you."
"Now that we've got that cleared up, kiss me." And I did. Long, slow, passionate, but tender.
We wandered back toward the cottage, holding each other, basking in our mutual love. Riekie met us a short way out. She was grinning.
"No, Mom didn't send me. You guys just might have a teensy bit of explaining to do, though. There's a certain very wet spot on the couch, and the little boys have been asking about a certain smell of fish."
We all laughed at that. We'd tried to get rid of the sex smell, and thought most of it was gone, especially once the house filled with the wonderful aroma of Dolly's and the aunts' cooking. Little boys' noses are just that sensitive, I guess. Neither of us thought to check the couch, and we should have, given that Carol was a squirter. I guess we thought her shorts soaked up most of it, but we forgot when she got nude. She probably leaked quite a bit then.
"Well, if we're asked, I guess we tell the truth, OK, Sweetheart?"
She squeezed me. "If that's what it takes, OK." Nobody ever asked, but we did get the odd funny look...
The rest of the long weekend was a ball. Bob Sr. was home. The boys got to stay up late to greet him Friday night when he got home. He was delighted.
We all went to the dance Saturday night, even Oma and Opa. It was a lovely dance, a real old-fashioned neighbourhood family type of thing. The music was good, from old-tyme fiddle to the latest rock. I danced with both aunts, Dolly, Riekie (she melted into my arms), and of course, my own Carol Anne.
She wore her kilt skirt that I liked so much, and informed me during one of the slow, clinch dances that she had taken my half-facetious advice.
"I'm not wearing any panties. I feel so naughty. I think it makes me even wetter." I think I almost passed out on that news.
The rest of the evening was a hoot. They had contests of different kinds, and games for the little ones. I don't remember what the contests and games were. I remember laughing a lot, and dancing with my girl (My Girl!). It was grand!
On Sunday, there was a community picnic. I never saw so much food. I came from a farming community, and was no stranger to big feasts, but this one outdid them all. There were all kinds of games and contests. Tante Jo won the bread and rolls part of the baking contest for her "Oleballen" (that's a kind of Dutch donut that has to be savored to describe it). Dolly took second for her strawberry-rhubarb pie. We stuffed ourselves and had a ball. I ate so much I hurt.
Monday, we had a big barbecue at the cottage. Several neighbours came over. We ate and ate. For the second day, I ate way too much. Bob and I went swimming to try to burn some of it off. The barbecue broke up fairly early. Most people had to return to their homes after a weekend at the lake. We were among the few who stayed all summer. By normal supper time, all the guests were gone, and our five ladies were cleaning up. Bob Sr. had to leave soon to return to his job in the city. From the cottage, it wasn't much farther than when he commuted from home.
The women folk were all busy. Bob had taken the little guys down to the lake to skip stones. Oma and Opa had gone in for the evening, tired from all the excitement. Just Bob Sr. and I were left sitting, relaxing in the late day sun. He got up and moved over to the chair next to me.
"Well, Dave, are you enjoying your summer so far?"
"Yes, Sir."
Bob Sr. had been a Colonel in the Signal Corps. As a cadet, I was impressed and also intimidated by such a high ranking officer, retired from the Service or not. He still carried himself like an officer, even after 20 years of service retirement. Like the kids, I only saw him on weekends. I didn't know him all that well, and we'd never spoken privately before. I just knew he wanted to talk about Carol and me.
He lowered his voice so the women wouldn't overhear in their comings and goings. "Dolly tells me you and my little girl are really quite an item."
"Yessir?" The colonel AND my girl's father all rolled up in one — a recruit's worst nightmare.
"Come, now, you don't have to be all stiff and formal with me. We're not on parade."
"Thank you, Sir." But I found it hard to relax.
"Dave, how serious is it between you two?"
Tough question under the circumstances. I decided to lay it out. As Dad said, honesty is the best policy.
"Sir, we're in love."
He laughed. "I was in love several times when I was 15, or at least thought I was. It all passed. I think this will pass too."
For a smart man, he seemed clueless to me. I got a little angry that he could trivialize what Carol and I felt.
"That may be, Sir, but for now, we are truly, deeply in love. I know we're young, with our whole lives in front of us as they say, but right now, from our perspective (yes, a15-year old did say that) we can't see a future without us in it — together."
He started to look a little less sure of himself. "Carol wants to go to OCA to become a commercial artist. I understand you're looking into RMC and a military career. How are you two going to balance those career aspirations against the feelings you claim you have, and the logical conclusion of them?"
The man had done his homework. I think in his chat with Bob, he must have pumped him for some dope on me.
"We haven't discussed it much, Sir. We've both got 3 more years of high school (Ontario still had Grade 13 then). We think we've got the time to come to grips with what we want with each other and our career plans. We've only just started. We're still getting to know each other. Who knows, in 3 years, maybe we will split up, but for now, what we feel is intense."
"I see... Well, as it stands now, I don't see any harm in it. My little girl is the happiest I've ever seen her, and I think that has mostly to do with you. For that, I thank you. I'll wait and watch. See what develops. Carol's future is of paramount importance to me. I won't have her jeopardizing that for some teenage romance. For the time being, you have my qualified blessing, but if I think things are getting out of hand, I'll move Heaven and Earth to put a stop to it. Do you understand?" I felt a chill go down my spine. I had this uncomfortable feeling of dread.
"Yes, Sir."
He looked at his watch. "It's getting on. I better get my kit and head back to the city. Now, Son, I hope you haven't taken what I've said the wrong way. I'm just looking out for my little girl's best interests."
Yeah, and don't ask for her opinion. Daddy knows best. Carol held her father in such high esteem, I was afraid she'd drop me if he said so.
I plucked up my courage, and faced down the old colonel. "I understand your concern for your daughter's well-being, Sir. Allow me the courtesy of having similar concerns. You will do what you think you think is right and best for her. I can do no less myself. You will do what you must, as will I." And I looked him straight in the eye in silent challenge. The gauntlet was thrown.
He looked at me with a new and grudging respect. "A pretty speech for one so young. I will definitely be watching you both. Now, I must say my goodbyes to the family. I'll see you next week?"
"Yes, Sir. I'll be here. Have a good and safe trip."
Bob Sr. and I were cool with each other after that. There was no outright hostility between us, just watchfulness. The whole family picked up on it, but neither of us said anything. I don't know what he told Dolly, if anything, because her attitude toward me never changed.
And he was gone, saying goodbye to the family. Soon he was driving away. I just sat in my lawn chair and thought.