Tiffany's Diaper Tales
                         Volume II
                      By BabyInDiapers
                     Written 08/01/2006
                        Chapter 048


The next day we woke up around ten in the morning. I changed 
Laura and her mom changed me. Laura and I decided to go to my 
house for today and tomorrow. So we spent most of the time 
just watching cartoons. Tuesday we watched the news which we 
had been avoiding for a while. Luckily they didn't talk about 
Emily or her mom. Laura and I realized later on that we would 
have to go to Emily's house at some point to get our band 
equipment. I didn't even want to think about going there.


Thursday morning I was at my house with my family and Laura 
was at her house with her family. We were getting ready for 
the funeral. I was doing ok until we got in the car. I just 
couldn't stop crying. Mommy sat in the back with me and held 
me. We pulled up to the place. There were a lot of people 
there; Kids from school, and some friends and family members. 


As we got out of the car we saw Laura's family. We went into 
the funeral home and were standing round talking to people. I 
held onto Laura. Our mothers were near us. I saw Emily's 
cousin Stephanie whom I hadn't seen in a long time. I also saw 
Emily's dad. He didn't look so well. There was a casket at the 
front of the place with some pictures. I walked up with Laura. 
The top half lid was open. As soon as I saw Emily I just fell 
to my knees crying. Laura being blind could not get the same 
effect from it that I got. She knelt down and hugged me.


Our moms rushed over to us. "No! My Emily!" I sobbed as I 
clung to Laura. We went outside for a while. After I calmed 
down I asked mom about Emily's mom. "Honey that funeral is 
tomorrow." She said. "I want to come." I said. "No baby, one 
of these is too much as it is. I am not letting you go to 
another one tomorrow." Mom said. I knew she was right. The 
service was getting ready to start so we went in and took a 
seat. Laura and I got up and went to the front to give a 
eulogy. I went first.


"Emily was our best friend ever since kindergarten. She was 
always there for us." I started to cry. Laura then spoke. 
"Emily was so special and we miss her so much." Laura said. We 
were both balling. "Emily, we'll miss you." I said. We ran 
back to the seat with our families. Lots of people were crying 
so we weren't alone. Her dad got up to speak. "My baby girl 
was so special. I wasn't there to see her in the last few 
years, but I remember her as a little baby when we brought her 
home. I remember her first day of school how my wife and I 
watched her get on that bus. I miss her so much." He said 
while sobbing.


After the service we went out to the grave yard and we watched 
them lower her casket into the ground. Laura and I threw 
flowers on top of it. At this point I was so numb inside. I 
felt so empty. I had loved ones all around, but yet I felt 
alone. I wanted to fall into that dark hole and be buried with 
Emily. At that moment I looked up at the sky. I was so angry 
at God for taking her.


Everything started spinning. I felt heavy, everything was 
getting dark. Laura was screaming my name but it was as if it 
were off in the distance. I don't even remember hitting the 
ground. I came to moments later. Mom and dad and Laura were 
there. Daddy picked me up and held me. We went home. 


For the next day or so, I could not keep any food down and I 
had to go to the hospital. They said I was suffering from 
traumatic stress. They ran an IV and got me healthy enough to 
eat again. Laura visited me. Finally 3 days after I had been 
admitted, I checked out. Sunday afternoon I just sat on the 
porch swing while everyone was at church. I told mom I didn't 
want to go. Angela came over while I was sitting out there. 
She sat down next to me. We sat in silence for a long while.


"I know what you're feeling. I never told you this, but my 
parents died in a car accident when I was 5. I actually live 
with my Aunt and Uncle now. I just call them mom and dad. I 
saw you at the funeral. I was there with some people from 
school. Tiffany, I know we've been just casual friends for a 
while now, but I want you to know I'm here for you." She said 
as she put a hand on my shoulder. I laid down on the swing 
resting my head in her lap. I was starting to hyperventilate 
again. "Honey, breath slowly. You'll be ok." She said as we 
rocked slowly back and forth.


"You know Laura and I are together." I said to her later after 
I felt more calm. "Yeah, I know. Robert told me." Angela said. 
"Robert hates me now." I said. "No he doesn't."  "I cussed him 
out and slapped him a few days ago and I haven't talked to him 
since." I said as I sat up. "Tiffany, he still wants to be 
your friend. He knows he screwed up when he left you for 
Alicia. And he doesn't want to get in the way of you and 
Laura. He just wants to be your friend. I guess you were just 
so angry the other day that you didn't see that." She said.


We talked a while longer and then mom and dad came home from 
church. They invited Angela in for lunch. Later that afternoon 
she went home. I called Laura. She was sounding better. Her 
mom had called the lead investigator and asked if they could 
retrieve Laura's keyboard and a few other things. They 
arranged a time for them to go over there. Laura's mom asked 
me if I would go with her to get the equipment since she 
didn't know what was what. I told her I would.


Monday we went to school. It actually was good and bad. In 
some ways we were busy so we didn't sit around being sad all 
day, but in other ways we were reminded of Emily. That 
afternoon when I got home Laura's mom was there. I tucked 
Laura into my crib and she took her nap. I went with Laura's 
mom and my dad drove dad's truck over to Emily's. There was a 
police officer who let us into the garage. We were not aloud 
to go into the house.


Everything in the garage was as we left it. I packed up my 
guitar and pedals and amp. Then I helped disassemble Laura's 
keyboard. We loaded it and the amp in the truck. I also saw 
Robert's Amp was there. We took it and loaded it. I stood in 
the garage. All that was left of the band equipment was the 
microphones and Emily's drums. Dad was coiling the cords for 
Laura's and my microphone. The stands wee already in the 
truck. "You girls used to have a band?" The officer said while 
standing by the door watching us. "Yeah, we used to." I said 
and then it hit me again. I cried like it was happening all 
over again. Daddy held me.


Laura's mom thanked the officer for letting us get our stuff. 
When we got back to the house Ralph and Joey were there. Mom 
invited them all over for dinner. I laid down and had a nap 
with Laura. When she awoke she asked me how it was. "It was 
bad. I couldn't stop crying after we loaded everything up." I 
said. She held me. "I don't know if I'll ever play my keyboard 
again." She said. "We have to. We have to do it because Emily 
would have wanted us to keep on playing." I said as we 
embraced. Linda came in and changed us and we had dinner.


Laura left with her family to go back home. Mommy bathed me 
and tucked me in. I was breastfed and read to. "Mom, I wanna 
sleep in your bed." I said as she was about to turn out the 
light. "ok crinkle pants. Come on." She said as she lowered 
the crib railing. She grabbed Mr. Fluffy and gave him to me. 
She walked behind me with her hands on my shoulders. We 
snuggled into bed. Being with mommy and daddy made me feel 
safe and made all the bad feelings go away. I slept the best 
that night that I had slept in a week and a half.