A form of this essay has previously appeared in "Bared Affair," an 
on-line spoof magazine (issue 2.08).





                      SERIAL TEEN

                           by 

                      Joe Whatever



The recent media sensation surrounding Treva Throneberry, the 
31-year-old woman who was arrested for masquerading as a 
teenaged high school student, reveals a disturbing trend.  In 
ever-increasing numbers, adult women are foresaking their adult 
responsibilities and voluntarily returning to their adolescent 
years.    

"There's a sense of being empty inside, so empty that being 
yourself is undesirable, and making a new persona is 
preferable," Miss Throneberry confided to a boyfriend at the 
high school she illegally attended.  It's no wonder, she said, 
that she would seek to return to the happiest years of her life, 
when things were simple -– when she was a teenager.    

"With great power comes great responsibility" is a  popular adage.  
But the corollary is also true: no responsibility means no power.  
What most of these so-called "adult" women fail to realize is 
that, by foresaking their adult rights, they are agreeing to be 
disciplined as teenagers.  By surrendering adulthood, they are in 
effect placing their bare bottoms over their mothers' knees and 
handing them the hairbrush.  

		******************************

Rapid Transformations  

Many of the young women are amazed at how rapid and complete the 
transformation is.  "My daughter Susan had been complaining about 
her job on Wall Street for years, and I finally agreed to let her 
move back in with me," explained Rachel Rogers, 58, of Stamford, 
Connecticut.    

Young women are finding that their "second childhood" is filled 
with surprises.  "On Day One, she signed the power of attorney 
forms that transferred all of her assets to me.  Since her 
thousand dollar suits and designer outfits were inappropriate 
for a teenager, I took her to Wal-Mart.  Suzie's petite size meant 
I was able to buy most of her clothes in the cheaper 'Junior Miss' 
department.  Now little Suzie is as cute as a button!"    

Miss Rogers, 29, tells a different story.  "My Mom and the 
salesclerk agreed that my 'little apple boobies' were too small 
for my Wonder Bras, so now I wear these little half shirts that 
totally flatten out my chest," she  whined.  "Every outfit I have 
shows my bellybutton, and my panties all have little clowns and 
animals on them.  "I didn't realize how young I looked until I got 
into an argument about my hairstyle at the beauty salon," she 
added.  "When Mom turned me over her knee, pulled up my little 
skirt and took down my 'Barney' underpants, all of the other women 
in the parlor just laughed.  Needless to say, I came home from the 
mall with my face as red as my bottom –- and my once stylish hair 
in pigtails."    

Across North America, young women are finding their "second 
childhoods" filled with similar surprises.  "As a school 
administrator, I've always been envious of my students' simple 
lives," said Barbara Woolworthy, 26, of Toronto.  "So naturally 
I jumped at the chance to spend a sabbatical year as Mum's 
teenage daughter.  Imagine my surprise when she enrolled me as a 
student at my own school."  As an administrator, Miss Woolworthy 
had ignored her female students' complaints about the school 
uniform, but, when she donned the outfit herself, she realized 
just how short the skirt was.  "I was constantly trying to cover 
my panties," she moaned. 

"My old joke that 'short skirts are easier to raise at spanking 
time' rang hollow as I watched my grinning mother complete the 
'Corporal Punishment Authorization' forms.  Miss Henderson, the 
gym teacher, doesn't hesitate to swat my fanny when I don't jump 
high enough or run fast enough," the young woman said, woefully.  
"She's always making an excuse to come over and talk to me while 
I'm in the shower.  She keeps telling  me how cute I am and how 
my tight little bottom was made for spanking.  I hate having to 
shower in front of her, but I've just got a teenager's rights now, 
and nude showers are state law.  I know she's just dying for me to 
screw up so she can send me to the principal's office for a 
paddling."  

Although her mother had enthusiastically agreed to school 
discipline, the first paddling "Barbie" got was still a shock.  
"Melissa -– I mean, Miss Martin, the English teacher -- had 
been friends with me for years.  I couldn't believe it when 
she marched me down to the principal's office just because I 
forgot to turn in her stupid old essay."  Any illusions Miss 
Woolworthy had about the new principal going easy on her were 
quickly dashed.  "She sentenced me to 10 strokes of the paddle, 
without my panties.  It was painful and embarrassing; especially 
with my 'friend' Melissa watching with her arms folded and 
smiling like the cat who had just swallowed the canary."   

		******************************

Power Is Key  

Psychologists who have studied serial teens agree that the loss of 
power and control is key to a successful transformation.  "These 
women are seeking the love and security they knew in childhood," 
explained Harlan Benton, Ph.D., the noted Harvard psychologist.  
"They feel overwhelmed and unable to cope with the pressures of 
their daily lives, and they are looking for a maternal figure to 
take control."  Moreover, he noted, "Money is power, which is why 
stripping away their financial and legal rights is essential.  
These women are crying out for loving discipline, and they can't 
be allowed to buy their way out of the corrections they so 
desperately need."    

They must wear clothing appropriate to their new identities.  
"These girls should be required to dress appropriately," Dr. 
Benton added. "Expensive clothes are an important part of a 
successful career woman's identity, and they must be stripped 
away.  Designer dresses should be replaced with t-shirts and 
short-shorts, and diamond earrings with cheap plastic hoops.  
The revealing fashions of today might make them feel insecure 
and self-conscious, but that is price of being a teen girl 
today," Dr. Benton said, with a chuckle.  "A little insecurity 
never did a girl any harm."   

When your actual mother doesn't understand your desire to return 
to your youth, a "surrogate mommy" will suffice.    

"I was the youngest member of our weekly bridge club, and Agnes was 
the oldest," said television news producer Debra Murray, 24.  Mrs. 
Agnes Tyler was the 42-year-old mother of three teenaged girls, and 
she seemed to understand Miss Murray implicitly.  "When I told the 
club about my desire to be a teen again, everyone laughed -– except 
Agnes."  Unfortunately for Miss Murray, they laughed even harder 
at the next club meeting, when "Debbie" showed up wearing the 
midriff-baring "belly shirt" so popular with today's teens.  
"Agnes explained to everyone that I was living with her and 
that, for all intents and purposes, I was a teenager again.  
Unfortunately, she also explained that meant old-fashioned 
parental discipline.  I blushed crimson when she pointed to 
the razor strap hanging in the corner."   Miss Murray was now 
too young to play cards, but "Aunt Agnes" did allow her to 
fetch drinks and wait on the table.  The afternoon progressed 
nicely until one of the players teasingly asked "Debbie" if she 
had to do "corner time" after her spankings.  The young woman  
responded by "accidentally" spilling a drink down the front of 
her antagonist's dress.    

"I guess it wasn't a very convincing accident, since Agnes headed 
straight for the razor strap," Miss Murray said, ruefully. "I 
begged her to spank me in private, but everyone agreed that, since 
I misbehaved in front of the group, I should be punished in front 
of the group, too.  The truth is I'm a bit of a princess, and I 
think the other women in the group were dying to see me get it."    

"Aunt Agnes" then bent the young woman over the  back of a kitchen 
chair so that her bare bottom was sticking up in the air.  "It was 
hard to stand there with my hands on top of my head and my panties 
and jeans down around my ankles, while my friends casually 
discussed my discipline.  The general consensus was that 'bare 
was best,' and everyone in the  club volunteered to help."    

She paused in reflection before drawing a tentative conclusion.  
"Although the spanking was unbelievably embarrassing, I have to 
admit that I had it coming, and it was for my own good.  It was 
only fair."    

"Strict, but fair" seems to be a recurring theme.  "I hated the 
spankings, at least at first," one former MBA explained.  "The 
realization that any adult could take down my panties and spank my 
bare butt was totally humiliating.  But the fact is that I never 
get spanked unless I deserve it."    

Many mothers are also surprised by their own reactions.  "Christine 
can be a handful, but, once I started spanking her, I felt totally 
in control," explained one mother of an adult daughter.  "What 
surprised me was how much I enjoyed disciplining her.  I love 
watching her blush and squirm when I pull her panties down.  
Sometimes the little minx needs to be taken down a peg or two, 
and spanking the freshness out of her is enormously satisfying."  
 
"My daughter graduated with Honors from Stanford Law School," 
another mother confided.  "And she still thinks she can argue her 
way out of anything.  She thinks she's smarter than everyone.  But 
she loses her ginger when she sees the hairbrush in my hand.  Now 
when she sasses me, she ends up pleading her case with her bare 
bottom wiggling over my knee," she chuckles.  "Exercising my 
maternal authority is very empowering, and it's wonderful to 
finally win an argument with my daughter.  The brush is my gavel, 
and all my decisions are final!"     

		******************************

Re-learning the Old Rules  

The serial teens quickly learn that curfews and bad language now 
lead to bare-bottom justice.  "I got angry with a salesclerk who 
told me to wait outside because there were 'too many kids' in the 
store," former software analyst Mona Mills, 25, explained.  
"Unfortunately someone in the store overheard what I called the 
clerk, and, when I got home, my mom was waiting for me with a bar 
of soap to wash out my filthy mouth...and a hickory switch to 
'impress' the lesson upon me.  The worst part was that afterwards 
she marched me back to the store, and I had to apologize to the 
clerk and tell her exactly how Mom had punished me.  I still had 
the soap bubbles coming out of my mouth, and the clerk thought it 
was hysterical when Mom made me take down my pants and show her my 
stripes."  

Serial teens are routinely punished for actions that were 
previously acceptable.  "My mom took away all of my 'contraband' 
when I moved in with her, but I still managed to hide my vibrator," 
one 20-something woman explained sheepishly.  "When Mom found it, 
she went absolutely ballistic, and I got it but good.  I do try not 
to masturbate, but that only makes me want to do it more.  I know 
that, if my mother catches me, I won't sit down for a week."    

Other serial teens have experienced similar problems adapting to 
the limitations of their new age.  "I had agreed to spend the 
summer at my mom's as a teenager, but when my fiancι visited me 
from the city, he still wanted to have sex," Jenny Wilson, 28, 
explained.  "We couldn't buy anything at the drug store, since 
the pharmacist knew who I was.  And, naturally, Mom had confiscated 
all of my birth control when I moved in.  I felt a knot in my 
stomach when I realized that I really was a teenager again.  
Either I'd risk losing my guy or risk being ridden bareback!"    

Being a teenager in her mind, Miss Wilson made the worst decision 
possible.  "Like an idiot, I decided to shoplift a package of 
condoms," she said with a sigh.  "The snippy little sales clerk 
called my mom, and she brought the hairbrush to the store.  I 
ended up spending the rest of the day in Aisle 3 with my spanked 
fanny on display, holding the package of condoms against the shelf 
with my nose!"    

She was mortified, but admitted that she'd learned a lesson.  "I've 
been a good girl ever since.  Either I keep my panties on, or Mom 
will take them down for me."      

		******************************

Rocky Teenage Years   

Some women have it harder the second time around.  Dr. Paula 
Orleans was a model student during her first stint as a teenager, 
but her return trip was a different story.  "I just couldn't handle 
the discipline," she admits.  "As a surgeon, I was used to being in 
charge and in control.  The spankings helped keep me in line, I 
guess, but I still felt the need to rebel."    

Her disenchantment with her new life eventually caused her to run 
away.  With no financial resources, Paula was soon eating out of 
dumpsters, and the 29-year-old woman eventually began working as 
a teen prostitute.    

When the police returned her home, Dr. Orleans's mother faced a 
difficult decision.  "Paula said that her teen transformation had 
been a mistake, and she begged me to let her return to her medical 
practice," Mrs. Orleans said.  "But I decided to send her to a 
reformatory instead.  She hates her school uniform, and she knows 
the headmistress will cane her for the tiniest infraction.  But the 
place is a fortress, and at least I know she won't escape."    

Although some serial teens regret their decision, the vast majority 
adapt quickly and successfully –- aided in no small part by a 
handy hairbrush.  The increasing popularity of the trend has 
prompted one legislature to codify the trend into law.    

"The new Serial Teen Form will allow a woman to transfer legal, 
financial, and disciplinary control back to her actual mother -- 
or a surrogate -- with a one-page notarized form," Legislator 
Sandra Kelps explained.  

"The Serial Teen is allowed to specify a time limit when she signs 
the form, but naturally all of the other details are left up to 
Mom."    

The representative chuckled as she continued.  "Some of these women 
don't appreciate what they're agreeing to, which is one of the 
advantages of my form.  It makes it crystal clear that the woman 
is agreeing to give up all of her adult legal rights and to comply 
with whatever form of discipline her mother deems best."  She 
added ruefully that, "of course, some of the women still don't get 
it...even though the statutory form makes it perfectly clear, they 
just don't believe that their Mommies would ever SPANK them!"    

When asked about her plan to sign the form herself at the 
conclusion of the legislative session, Ms. Kelps was 
enthusiastic.  "My mom and I have already argued about the 
clothes I'll wear," the legislator said with a laugh.  "I 
don't think she'd really make me wear all of those teenybopper 
clothes she has in my closet, but I've gone on a diet, just in 
case."    

When the subject turned to discipline, Rep. Kelps's tone became 
more tentative.  "Mom bought a paddle with the words, 'For Sandy's 
BARE Bottom' inscribed on it, along with a little picture of a 
bear rubbing its fanny," she said nervously.  "But I think she's 
just trying to scare me.  I mean -– she  wouldn't REALLY spank 
me -– not on the bare," Sandy says, her voice trailing off.  
"Would she?"    




Edited by C. Lakewood