Celestial Reviews 243 - December 17, 1997
Note: Next issue will be my Special Christmas Issue on December 20.
I'll try to post reviews of every Christmas story I know about. If you
have suggestions, please send them to me. The next regular issue will
be December 24, and then I'll take a Christmas break until January 3.
Second note: Keep in mind the Celestial Christmas Story Contest. The
only rule is that your entry has to be a new story about Christmas or a
related holiday theme. I'll interpret this seasonal theme loosely - a
Druid orgy at Stonehenge during the winter solstice or group sex at
half-time on a Rose Bowl float would qualify. Entries can be posted as
they are written, and I'll review them as soon as I receive them. In
fact, I reviewed a few last week and a few more this week. Winners will
be announced on or around January 1. If you want to try to influence my
judgment, send me your comments about the stories when you read them.
Final note: Remember: even though someone else may be posting my reviews
for me, my e-mail address is still Celeste801@aol.com.
- Celeste
"After School" by Unknown Author (young adolescent sex)
9.5, 10, 10
"The End of the Innocence" by David L (threesome with
mm touch) 10, 10, 10
"Some of my Favorite Masturbation Fantasies" by Terressa
Wright (masturbation fantasies) 4, 4, 4
Celestial Christmas Contest
"Tongue and Cheek" by Hawk "Santa" Richards (oral sex)
9, 8, 8
"The Night Before Christmas" by M1KE HUNT (young love)
10, 10, 10
"My Xmas Threesome" by Patty Nickel (illiterate drivel) 1, 1, 1
"Another Christmas Carol" by James Martin (Christmas
shopping) 10, 10, 10
Guest Reviews:
"Wendy's Weekend" by Captain Atom (suck-and-fuck
marathon) 8, 5, 8
"Expelled" by Sexy Grrl (kiddysex with Uncle Frank) 7, 7, 7
"Young Karen" by Unknown Author (emerging adolescence)
9.5, 10, 9
"Trade Show" by Wolf Whistle (ghostly sex) 8, 7, 7
"Bikini Brigade" by Andrew Roller (childhood fantasies)
9.5, 10, 10
Reposted Reviews:
* "Brenda - A Love Story" by Tom Bombadil (emerging
adolescence & romance) 10, 10, 10
* "Adrienne a la Mode" by Cynthia (romantic seduction)
10, 10, 10
* "Boarding Pass" by Cynthia (airport sex) 10, 10, 9
* "Virgin (On the Ridiculous)" by Jordan Shelbourne (farce &
romance) 10, 10, 10
* "Lawyers in Love" by A. Van Peebles (ff romance) 10, 10, 10
* "Kate and Me: Friendship Spilled Over" by The Bear
(teen/adult romance) 10, 10, 10
* "A Cold Day in Hell" by Delta (romance) 10, 10, 10
* = Repost of previous review (because the story has recently been
reposted)
"After School" by Unknown Author. I have actually said things like this
to my teachers: "It's so hard to swallow something like this." or "I
can't get it into my head." But not when I was thirteen years old and
fondling my history teacher's tumescent cock. Heck, I didn't even know
what tumescent meant. Neither did my history teacher; but of course,
she was a nun.
Anyway, Susie is just about the nicest and smartest little girl in the
whole junior high school, and she goes about doing people good - er,
well, I guess. Well, both: she does people well when she fucks them;
but she does them good when she promotes Sex, Justice, and the Common
Good of the Universe.
The descriptor at the beginning of this story says it is about "3way and
bestiality." That's like saying the encyclopedia is about "how the
Romans made cookies."
The basic flaw with this story is that the odds are tremendously stacked
against the notion that a cute little girl who becomes the happy humper
will grow up to be smart enough to write a story that is this good. It
could happen, but I wouldn't bet on it. I have worked with emotionally
distressed adolescents, and I firmly agree with the social scientists
who say that the main predictor of a miserable adulthood for a young
girl is that she become pregnant as young as possible. Sexual
Puritanism really sucks, but unmitigated sexual promiscuity is not much
better.
To put it another way, this story assumes that the world is wonderful
and everything will be just fine if we all just relax and fuck without
inhibitions. Deep down inside, even assholes are good people, and a 13-
year-old girl can bring out the best in them by sucking and fucking with
them. William Golding, in Lord of the Flies, offers a different
perspective on youthful human nature; and I suspect that Golding is
closer to the truth. In addition, the story ignores the fact that
emerging sexuality can be an occasion for confusion as well as ecstasy;
and copulating with the whole world will not necessarily reduce this
confusion.
Having said that, I'll add that this was an enjoyable story. I suspect
that it was written by a high school senior who decided to indulge her
fantasies regarding what she COULD have done had she gotten off to an
earlier start.
Susie is so sexually active that she has an agreement with a storekeeper
named Pop to supply her with panties whenever she needs them to appease
her mother's curiosity. Pop has even ordered a whole gross (12 dozen)
of Susie's brand of panties especially for her, but they have been fast
disappearing. The story about Pop is itself an epic of heart-warming
human kindness. The poor guy was sad almost to tears at the prospect of
losing his business, but then Susie sat under his counter and gave him a
blowjob, and sooner than you can say cumshot he not only had her panty
franchise but he was also serving as an informal pimp for his young
friend. In addition, Susie frequently gave blowjobs to Pop's
creditors.... I could go on forever. This is the sort of anecdote that
somebody should send in to Readers Digest for filler at the bottom of
pages.
And then there's Rover.... Enough! You get the idea.... If this is
your sort of thing, you'll enjoy this story.
Ratings for "After School"
Athena (technical quality): 9.5
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"The End of the Innocence" by David L. (dhl@sysun.com). Hmmm.... Two
guys are in an adult bookstore in Key West, checking out the quarter
movie slots. They encounter an attractive young woman who wants a movie
about two guys doing it together. They try to help her, but they can
find no such movie. Hmmm... Where is this story going? Two guys who
want to get into the girl's panties. A girl looking to get turned on by
watching two guys have sex. Hmmm.....
This could be the basis for a slam-bang quickie; but this story goes
well beyond that sort of thing.
First, we have an ethical dilemma. Our narrator has never even
considered sex with Jerry or any other man, even though the thought
doesn't repel him. Horny as he is, his libido really is directed only
towards females. He vaguely believes that "sex is really just giving and
receiving pleasure", but this is a statement he would like to believe
but has never really tested. And then there's the prospect of pleasing
Laura. Will Jerry suck his cock? Will Jerry want him to suck his? Will
they fondle each other? Hmmm, indeed....
The three partners do it in every possible combination; and that's more
ways than you might initially think, since each participant has several
apertures and more than one instrument can be inserted into each. Holy
cow! They even talk and play cards while doing it. And the author
manages to make it sound sexy all the way through the four evenings the
three spend together.
And while you read this story, you can learn important things about
Life. For example, here's what it takes to pick up girls easily and
quickly: the guy should exude a sense of being able to be trusted, and
yet body language and tone of voice and general calmness that promises
sweet things if if the lady is so inclined. Either that or the ability
to undress the woman with your eyes, I suppose.
In addition, here's a brief discourse on aesthetics: "Too many woman
believe themselves to be ugly or just ordinary if they don't qualify as
the perfect centerfold model. Laura probably didn't think of herself as
exceptionally attractive. But this isn't true -- I've tried to tell so
many women I know how beautiful and sexy they really are, even without
being perfect, but the words somehow can't even begin to convey the full
truth of it. The female body is a poem to a heterosexual man, and in
the words of the philosopher whose name I can't remember, it "proves the
existence of God.'" Actually, that wasn't a philosopher: I think it was
Dirty Harry.
This is an excellent story. I recommend it highly and hope to see more
stories from this author.
Ratings for "The End of the Innocence"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Some of my Favorite Masturbation Fantasies" by Terressa Wright
(spike97@hotmail.com). Ya know who I really feel sorry for? I mean
besides the person who just corrected my grammar to, "Do you know for
whom I really feel sorry?" I feel sorry for the poor bastard whose life
is so miserable that even his masturbation fantasies really suck.
Especially if "his" name is Terressa Wright. I guess I'd feel even more
sorry for the poor bastard who was so desperate for motivational
fantasies that he'd read the juiced-up, quasi-literate writings of the
poor bastard whose life is so miserable that even his masturbation
fantasies really suck.
I don't recommend this "story." It's just a really bad attempt at
fantasies like those you can easily find in the Penthouse Forum.
Ratings for "Some of my Favorite Masturbation Fantasies"
Athena (technical quality): 4
Venus (plot & character): 4
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 4
"Tongue and Cheek" by Hawk "Santa" Richards (hawkrds@aol.com). The term
"tongue in cheek" refers to the notion that a person is kidding - that
it's necessary to place one's tongue firmly against one's cheek in order
to refrain from breaking out in uproarious laughter when the naive
listener swallows what we are saying. Needless to say, that's not the
sort of tongue 'n cheek we're talking about here.
As the title suggests (I say, tongue in cheek), the narrator gets fired
from his job right before Christmas, and the only job he can get is that
of a department store Santa Claus. As the author points out (tongue in
cheek), there is nothing like a fat guy in a red suit to turn on the
ladies! And as the narrator says (tongue in cheek) to a female passerby
who rejects this hypothesis: "HOE! HOE! HOE! YOU FUCKING HOE!"
Well, you'll have to read the story to get the full meaning of this
title and to discover what this has to do with Santa getting a blowjob
from a hooker near Santa Central.
Ratings for "Tongue and Cheek"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8
"The Night Before Christmas" by M1KE HUNT (MrMike@aol.com). "Fucking
Mike Hunt!" That's the title of a story by this author, you know. A
good story. One that I rated it 10-10-10. Mike Hunt usually writes
stories with himself as the legendary hero who copulates with June or
the twins or a rapacious slut in an elevator. This one doesn't even
sound like Mike Hunt. I suspect it's a leftover from the estate of O.
Henry.
"Fucking Mike Hunt!" See, the problem is that I already KNEW who was
going to win my Celestial Christmas Story contest. And then this story
arrives, and now I have to stop and think and reread the stories and
diddle myself and lose sleep over this decision and eventually decide
who wins my prize.
With my luck, I'll get even more good entries!
I can't tell you much about this story, except that it's about a young
man and a young woman, neither of whom is especially religious, who have
been celebrating the Christmas/Hanukkah season together in a special way
since they were newlyweds. Since I have already told you that this
story is in the style of O. Henry, you can surmise that there is a
surprise ending; but you'll get no more clues from me.
Ratings "The Night Before Christmas"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"My Xmas Threesome" by Patty Nickel (eyesopen4@hotmail.com). Three
people watch the Queen's Christmas speech and then have sex. I think.
The author offers a web site where we can find even more stories of
comparable quality. People who say that no story is really worthless
have not read this one.
Ratings "My Xmas Threesome"
Athena (technical quality): 1
Venus (plot & character): 1
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 1
"Another Christmas Carol" by James Martin
(amateurerotica.guide@miningco.com). My husband has always been
reluctant to buy me sexy lingerie. At first he would simply say, "You
already look sexy; and all I'd do would be take it off of you." When I
explained that that activity itself might be interesting, he switched
from the utilitarian argument to the more ambiguous statement that "it
gets hard when he has to deal with the sales personnel." I assumed that
"hard" meant "difficult" and that "it" was a weak and indefinite use of
a pronoun, common among non-English teachers. Having read this story, I
now understand his problem: "it" has a more definite antecedent, and
"hard" refers to epidermal surface tension.
This is a very clever story about a man who goes shopping to buy
lingerie for his wife for Christmas. If sales personnel gave all their
customers this much attention, they would certainly earn their Christmas
bonuses.
Ratings "Another Christmas Carol"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Wendy's Weekend" by Captain Atom (captatom@thepentagon.com). Guest
review by Bookman.
This story doesn't offer Your Faithful Reviewer a whole lot to review.
The plot is about as basic and mindless as your average porn flick, but
then, Captain Atom acknowledges that at the beginning. He's not
challenging Dostoevsky here; he knows it; that's not his purpose; and he
goes on from there.
Basically, we have Wendy, Slut Queen of an unnamed campus, and a few of
her apparently leather-vaginaed friends cavorting happily through a wide
swath of the male population. And that's pretty much it.
And yet there's a driving vitality in this suck-and-fuck marathon that
ultimately becomes effective. When I read it, I was both exhausted and
recently drained, and it still got a rise out of me. Could use a little
proofreading, but at this level there aren't enough errors to really get
in the way. Just don't expect plot or character development, and I
think you'll enjoy this little offering.
Ratings for "Wendy's Weekend"
Athena (technical): 8
Venus (plot and character): 5
Apollo (appeal to reviewer): 8
"Expelled" by Sexy Grrl (bigsexygrrl@hotmail.com). Guest review by
Wherryman.
A fairly simple plot to this story. Uncle Frank is picking up his
niece, his 'Princess', who has been expelled from school for 'wanton
behaviour' - in this case getting caught in bed with the son of the
headmaster of the nearby boys school. They only get halfway home before
bad weather forces them to stop at a motel and... What do you mean, you
know what's coming?
OK, so you're right - they end up in bed together; this is a.s.s.* after
all - but getting them there is handled reasonably well. Unfortunately
the story ends there, just as things are getting interesting. One
orgasm each and then all we get is 'My dear uncle continued my re-
education into the night'. I felt rather like I imagine 'Princess' did
when caught by the headmaster, cheated of the main event.
Stop press: Celeste 242 includes a review of 'Pierced' which appears to
be a further adventure of 'Princess'. It hasn't reached my neck of the
woods yet but her technical mark suggests that it is a little more
polished than this episode.
Rating for "Expelled"
Technical merit 7
Plot & character 7
Appeal to reviewer 7
"Young Karen" by Unknown Author (reposted by Commander Jameson). Guest
review by Fiddler.
This story purports to be the reminiscence of a man about his boyhood
sexual experiments. Our hero never gives his name; but he is friends
with Bob and David, two other horny 12-year-old boys. They talk about
sex, try out a little mutual play, and hear about David's adventures
with his 9-year-old sister Karen. "Oh yeah?" say Bob and our hero.
"Yeah," says David, "would you like to play with her, too?"
The rest of the action is almost a predictable as their answer, but the
story has its redeeming points. Karen is neither a beaten submissive
nor a precociously horny slut. She is a believable kid who is
believably curious. After all, the adults are trying too keep all the
fun for themselves. When our hero almost achieves penetration, Karen
suffers believable pain. They stop. They never try again. End of
story.
One's reaction to pedo stories is even less predictable than one's
reaction to straighter stories. I didn't find this story arousing, but
I did find it convincing (except the part about Jewish parents sending
their kids to parochial school). I wasn't squicked. I have no guesses
whether you will be aroused or squicked.
Ratings for "Young Karen":
Athena (technical quality): 9.5
Venus (plot & character): 10
Fiddler (appeal to this reviewer): 9
"Trade Show" by Wolf Whistle (posted by zeist@aol.com). Guest review by
Piper.
In this story, the unnamed protagonist is at a trade show for dentists.
By inference, we learn that he was manning a booth all day - eleven
hours straight. Unlike most trade shows, at least a.s.s. trade shows,
there aren't dozens of scantily clad and more than willing hostesses,
guests, dental assistants, and others, who are willing to show the
tired, yet horny, promoter of something-or-other a good time. At least,
that holds true until he gets in the elevator to head to his room for
some self-gratification followed by sleep.
Susan is the young woman's name. She has this -- this -- well, this
smell about her. He finds it almost irresistible. When asked, however,
Susan insists that she isn't wearing any perfume. The intoxicating
scent drives him to distraction. They then retire to his room for some
of the usual. It's the best he's ever had in his life, either before or
since. The next morning, he finds out who the lady is. Or was.
This is a case where the storycodes give away the big surprise ending
before we even begin to read the story. When we are told (M/Fspirit),
we can safely assume that a man and a no-longer-of-this-earth woman will
be doing something together. There's no surprise, which takes away much
of the punch the author was trying to create. Score one for M1ke Hunt's
argument against storycodes.
I'm not sure whether I liked this story or not. It was fairly well
written, although there are a couple of quite nasty typos (weal for
weak, eg), and a bit of editing would have helped, but the story lacked
that gut-level appeal I look for when other interest factors, such as
humor, an involved plot, or complex characterization, aren't present.
Other details, such as the fact that he was in room 601, but the murder
took place in 701 ("in that very room"??), also confused me. Was there
a connection somewhere that I missed?
Overall, the hot bits were pretty good, but the packaging was iffy.
Ratings for "Trade Show"
Technical merit 8
Plot and character 7
Appeal to reviewer 7
"Bikini Brigade" by Andrew Roller (roller39@idt.net). Guest review by
Piper.
Oh, dear. Katie and Bambi are in trouble. Big trouble. You see, one
of them stole a bag of gummi bears, did something bad, and failed to do
something good, all on the same day.
Katie was running away from home because she didn't want to go with the
woman from Child Protective Services. Bambi went along for the ride.
Actually, it's the other way around. 13 year old Bambi was doing the
driving in her brand new candy-apple-red 4x4, while 12 year old Katie
was navigating. So there they are. Lost. In the dark. On a purple
road paved with Wild Berry Pop Rocks. Around them, candy apples grow
from candy apple trees, while gold-foil-covered chocolate leaves fall
from the maple trees. They find a sign made of peanut brittle. On it,
written in licorice, is a message - "Welcome to Candyland". Under that,
in smaller letters, is written "Citadel - 307ks".
Out from the woods steps Boswell the Berry Bear, who explains where they
are, how they got there (see above things that Katie did), why they
arrived there, and how they might get back home. Then he tells them the
bad news - Licorice Lad is looking for some young human girls
to...to...,uh, well, to do indecent things with, involving parts of
their bodies they normally keep clothed, and Katie and Bambi are the
only young human girls currently in Candyland. Bambi calls it as she
sees it - Licorice Lad wants to fuck them.
With characters like Licorice Lad (the bad guy who usurped the Sultan's
throne), Fruitcake Freddie (who _really_ likes Licorice Lad), Tommy the
Terrible Troll, and Gumdrop Guy, and places like Licorice Loch, the Soda
Sea, the Marshmellow (sic) Marsh, and the Peppermint Forest (where Candy
Canes grow), I wasn't sure what movie I was reading. "The Wizard of
Oz?" "Alice in Wonderland?" Something starring Shirley Temple?
As usual, Andrew has written a tight, highly detailed, and imaginative
story. Unlike usual, this story has a real plot, development,
fantastically overblown caricatures for characters, and many twists and
turns. Like, is Fruitcake Freddie a good guy or a bad guy? Will the
Gingerman Autonomy movement figure in the big finale? Will Ms. Matilda
Brunswald, Affidavit Al, Ms. Wilma Writ, and Glenda Guilty, the folks
from Child Protective Services, actually catch the girls before they can
put the real Sultan back on the throne? And what about Tommy the
Troll's candification machine? Will the girls escape before it turns
them into candy, trapping them in Candyland forever?
Also as usual, the young girls are bared in public more than proper
decorum would allow. Unlike a regular Andrew Roller story, I didn't
notice a single instance of a bottom getting reddened by a paddling,
deserved or not. Nor did I see any _S.E.X._ (At least, not by the 3/4
point. I won't say whether there is or is not any of either in the last
quarter of the story. That would spoil the tension.) This is
definitely not a normal Andrew Roller offering. Then again, this is
definitely not a normal a.s.s. story.
I liked it. I liked it a whole lot, despite the lacks mentioned above.
This is fun stuff, what with Bambi wearing one of Katie's bikinis, one
that's two sizes too small, one she keeps falling out of. Titillation
and wild and wacky goings-on make this a good story. After all, where
else can you go paddling about with six year old Pauline Praline on a
giant orange popsicle on the Sea of Cream and pick up ice cream cones
with rainbow sprinkles on them as they go floating by?
This is another long story (350k)
Ratings for "Bikini Brigade"
Technical merit 9.5
Plot and character 10
Appeal to reviewer 10
* "Brenda - A Love Story" by Tom Bombadil (stbush@iglou.com). This story
was originally titled "Brenda's Conquest", and was retitled after
revision by the author. It is a story about a man who falls in love with
a 13-year-old girl with whom he has been familiar since she was nine.
In addition, the girl's 11-year-old sister develops a sexual
relationship with his own 17-year-old sister. There's a lot more to the
story than this, but I am not going to go into the details here. All
I'll say here is that it's a rich, well-developed story that presents a
reasonable perspective on the problems as well as of the joys of such a
relationship.
The author himself refers to this as a "pedophile love story."
Interestingly, my on-line dictionary does not define pedophile or
pedophilia. It goes straight from pedometer to peduncle. Go figure.
However, my on-line encyclopedia does have an article on the topic,
which says this:
"Pedophilia is a psychosexual disorder characterized by a sexual desire
for and sexual acts with prepubescent children. Onset of the disorder
can occur from adolescence through old age, and it occurs predominantly
in males. About two-thirds of pedophiliacs are attracted to children of
the opposite sex. Based on evidence from criminal court records,
pedophiles usually know the children that they abuse. Most pedophiles
resort to deception rather than force. Although much is known about
pedophilia, pedophiles themselves are difficult to treat and recidivism
rates are high."
In the present story, the "pedophile" doesn't actually do what my
encyclopedia says pedophiles do; he simply develops a consensual
relationship with a thirteen-year-old whom he has known for several
years. You will note that although the author himself describes this as
a pedophile love story, I myself have referred to it as a story of
emerging adolescence and romance.
Nonetheless, it is important to realize that this story deals with a
topic that sets of alarms in the minds of people who are concerned about
children being harmed by pornography on the Internet. As a teacher in
an American public school, I am supposed to call to the attention of the
legal authorities behavior that is typically labeled pedophilia, if I
become aware of it. That's the rules, folks; and I could get into
trouble for not following them. I hasten to add that I am NOT a member
of the Thought Police. I work with a large number of troubled
adolescents, and I HAVE worked with the authorities in cases that they
refer to as pedophilia. In no case that I have witnessed has the
relationship been like that described in this story. Every case I have
ever seen has revealed children who had their lives screwed up by an
exploitive adult.
The notion of falling in love with an innocent and precocious young
person is intuitively appealing. This story idealizes that intuitive
appeal.
It seems reasonable that society can differentiate between exploitive
sex with children (which is vividly described in Michael K. Smith's
"Remembering") and emotionally sensitive relationships like those
described in this story. It is my own belief that most children are
best advised to reach a reasonable level of maturity before becoming
sexually active and that many adults who become sexually active with
children are likely to be satisfying their own (perhaps unconscious)
needs rather than being helpful to the children. In addition, a very
large number of psychologists seem to agree with my belief, and the laws
of most countries in Western society support my position.
On the other hand, stories like this one are realistic presentations of
emotions and feelings. My hope is that reasonable people can set aside
their biases, read this as the good story it is, and perhaps let the
insights they get from this story influence their thinking about the
issues involved. Many people will read this story to get some good
ideas on how to seduce little kids or will reject it out of hand because
it is about something that is immoral. Both groups will waste a
perfectly good story.
This story raises a simple question: is it possible to write a story in
which an adult has sexual relations with a young adolescent in a way
that would be approved by reasonable, socially responsible people? I
think this story (along with several others, including Randu's "Double
Trouble" and Santo Romeo's "Martha Jane") demonstrate that the answer is
yes. The related (and more volatile) question is can this happen in
real life? The answer certainly must be yes, it CAN happen. The
crucial question is DOES it happen? Or are all adults who do this
sexual perverts, as most laws seem to suggest?
As I have said earlier, literally all the young children whom I have
known to have experienced sex with an adult were severely exploited. It
may not always be accurate to call their partners perverts; "sick" or
"dysfunctional" may be better words for some of them. But - and this is
an important BUT - kids who have had perfectly adaptive - even wonderful
- relationships like those described in this story would have no
incentive to come forth and talk to me about it. In fact, if they did
so, the adults whom they loved would possibly suffer dire consequences.
I seriously doubt that all adult-child sexual relationships are as
destructive as some child advocacy people would have us believe; but I
also think that most real-life adult-child sexual relationships are
exploitive.
I cannot conclude without mentioning one important issue. I think we
need to let kids be kids. In recent years movies and TV shows
(especially the soaps) have combined with peer pressure to urge kids to
rush into adulthood way too fast. An important part of the mother's
logic in this story was that if Brenda didn't have sexual relations with
Richard, she'd be having sex with someone else real soon. To the extent
that her insight is accurate, her decision to permit sex with Richard
may be valid. But might it not be better to find a way to encourage
kids to grow up before they have sexual relations? As I understand it,
something like 25-40% of kids in the Western world don't have sex until
they are at least 18 years old. Granted, a bunch of these people have
major hang-ups; but statistically they're OK people. If I may use
myself as a case study, I think I really do all right sexually, even
though I had a full childhood before I began my active sex life; and I
THINK the same can be said of my daughters. Sexuality isn't the only
area in which we tend to push kids too fast; I constantly see parents
trying to push preschoolers into academic programs when they should be
playing games or reading Little Red Riding Hood. Ooops! {For an
explanation of this Ooops, see the review of "The Better To...." later
in this issue.} Let's let kids be kids!
I like stories that raise thought-provoking questions in interesting
contexts. This story does exactly that.
Ratings for "Brenda - A Love Story"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Adrienne a la Mode" by Cynthia (SLowhand@dial.pipex.com). Guest
review by BluePencil.
A respected writer in another genre once said that plot ideas were one
of the easiest things to come by; it was turning them into a good story
that required hard work.
Unfortunately, this is one of the hardest things for aspiring writers to
absorb. Far too often they feel the need for an exotic plot, locale, or
characters. In alt.sex.stories, this often translates into people with
unlikely physical measurements and unusual athletic attainments making
love with each other, assorted relatives, and the occasional polar bear
while riding the roller coaster in their local amusement park. I'm
exaggerating slightly, perhaps - they probably wouldn't all fit in the
roller coaster. Perhaps the bumper cars.
There are at least two sorts of problems with this type of story:
First, it's usually a little hard to suspend your disbelief enough to
forget that it _is_ a story (if not, you and your dearest are probably
scheduled for one or more daytime talk shows in the near future).
Second, and far more irritating for the writer, is that if your story is
discussed at all it won't be for your masterful plotting, your command
of the language, or even your well-crafted sex scenes. Instead, people
will remember it as "the one where the bald-headed woman got it on with
a camel in a pool of lime jello." Irritating, unless you are willing to
take this as a tribute to your memorable characters.
Fortunately, there are writers out there, however rare, who are willing
to bypass the easy tricks and work at their craft. And even, amazingly,
post the results to alt.sex.stories.
Adrienne is a teacher. Tim is her businessman lover, who has trouble
leaving his work totally behind, even for an evening with the woman he
loves. She sets out to distract him. What happens? Does she arouse
his interest, or at least his libido? Does she succeed in driving work
from his mind? And does she get what she wants in the end? Read the
story. Really.
Cynthia has taken the familiar elements of far too many ordinary stories
and transmuted them as thoroughly as coal into diamond. This is one of
the best written, believable, and appealing stories I have read on this
newsgroup in the past few months. I don't recall seeing any of
Cynthia's stories before; I'd like to thank Slowhand Luke for posting
this one for her. I hope that it is the first of many.
Ratings for "Adrienne a la Mode"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot and character): 10
BluePencil (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Boarding Pass" by Cynthia (Versutiae@aol.com). Guest review by Dart.
A couple, each with a career to pursue, may find it difficult to arrange
their schedules in order to be together. She travels, he travels: but
with luck their paths cross frequently enough that their physical need
for each other gets satisfied.
Well, for Tim and Adrienne, luck has recently been eluding them. They're
desperate for each other, but they're on their way to the airport, since
she has a plane to catch. And their ministrations during the drive only
have the effect of heightening their mutual frustration. They arrive at
the airport fifteen minutes before her boarding call, fifteen minutes to
spend together. At the gate, he rubs her shoulders, trying to ease her
tension, soften their parting. It doesn't work. They kiss; they rub;
they get stared at.
Fifteen minutes later, she boards her flight a very happy frequent
flyer. You'll have to read the story to discover their innovative
solution - innovative and a little improbable. At least, I wouldn't have
had the courage to implement it.
This is a nicely written and nicely paced story. What I most liked about
the story, other than the couple's daring of course, was their affection
for each other.
Ratings for "Boarding Pass"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Dart (appeal to reviewer): 9
* "Virgin (On the Ridiculous)" by Jordan Shelbourne (jordan@u36.com).
Larry and Tara are roommates. They have a chaste relationship; no sex -
they just live together. Tara has a boyfriend named Cliff who doesn't
want to deflower a virgin. He says it's too important a decision to
make in the heat of passion, and he doesn't want to hurt Tara. So Tara
concludes that if Larry would make love to her just once, then she
wouldn't be a virgin anymore; and then Cliff will be willing to boink
her. As the title says, this is verging on the ridiculous; but it's
quite enjoyable.
I won't tell you more about this delightful story. You should read it
yourself. It's like a really good episode of "Three's Company" (if such
an oxymoron is possible) - except that this time "Two's Company."
Although literary critics would possibly classify this as farce, it
contains gems of wisdom, like this one: "I hate waiting to dry my hands
under those blowers, and you know, it's ten times worse if you're
holding up a drunk who's drying his hands." The story is a wonderful
combination of sweet, sexy, and hilarious.
Ratings for "Virgin (On the Ridiculous)"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Lawyers in Love" by A. Van Peebles (an182636@anon.penet.fi).
Q. How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Just two. Most lawyers will screw anywhere. But it may be hard for
them to get inside the light bulb.
That joke has nothing to do with this story (except it's about lawyers),
but humor and social commentary are important components of these
reviews.
This is one of the best stories involving lesbian love that I have ever
read. If someone wanted to write a textbook chapter on how an older
woman who identifies herself as a lesbian should begin a romantic
relationship with a younger person confused about her sexual identity,
this story would provide a good foundation. While realistically
portraying the feelings of Kate and Becky, this story avoids such
pitfalls as stereotyping people as gays or straights and exploiting a
vulnerable young woman who is confused about life. The story doesn't
use gimmicks to turn us on. I have never been involved in a
relationship like the one described here, but as I read the story I
could REMEMBER these things happening to me. What I mean by that is
that the author presented the story line so plausibly and authentically
that I found myself identifying with the characters and saying to
myself, "Yeah, that's the way it was."
An important comment that I want to add is that the story was so well
written that when I was near the middle of the story and Becky in her
drunken stupor first kissed Kate, at least two endings would have been
perfectly plausible and acceptable. First, Becky could have realized
the value of a lesbian lifestyle for herself and entered into a
relationship with Kate. Alternatively, Becky could have found the
relationship with Kate to be fulfilling, but could have continued to
seek an even more fulfilling relationship with someone else - perhaps
with Peter. (Other endings would also be possible and emotionally
acceptable.)
While reading this story, I was reminded of events and fantasies in my
own life. As I point out in my FAQ, I lead a monogamous heterosexual
lifestyle, yet I happily admit to enjoying and being turned on by the
activities and emotions expressed in this story about a lesbian
relationship. I mention this because I think it is important to stress
that while sexual identity is obviously important, it is also sensible
to avoid premature or inaccurate labeling. I think it is important that
people (especially young people) avoid labeling themselves as "gay,"
"straight," or "bisexual" based on fantasies or isolated experiences.
When I was young, I had trouble relating to guys and found myself
thinking horny thoughts about other women. I even had a crush on a
female teacher. As an adult, I have discovered that nearly all my
female friends report similar feelings. In retrospect, I think my
feelings occurred because I was shy (or perhaps socially inept) around
boys - nearly all of whom were assholes at that time anyway, while the
girls with whom I participated in sports seemed to me to be mature, sexy
creatures whose tits bounced enticingly when I was with them in the
showers and locker rooms. I had access to two highly competent persons
at the time (known as parents) who noticed my reactions and convinced me
that I was normal - even though they never gave me a specific lecture
about it.
I think it would have been foolish for me to have concluded at that time
that I "was" lesbian. Even now, sexy women turn me on. The cosmetic
companies count on them to do so; otherwise I would never buy that
overpriced stuff they put into bottles and other containers. I recently
had an orgasm while I was alone and watching a woman masturbate in a
porn flick.. I also got turned on while reading the sexy lesbian scenes
in this story. I don't think either of these admissions make it
sensible to say that I "am" bisexual today.
I have selected heterosexual monogamy as my lifestyle, and I feel good
about it. Because of this choice, I'll never have an opportunity to
make passionate love to a sexy woman; but I see no conflict in enjoying
a good story about someone else doing so.
The label "heterosexual" is also detrimental, but in a more subtle way
(because it is more socially accepted in the culture that surrounds me).
I enjoy playing with myself. I enjoy it when my husband fondles,
kisses, licks, etc. my genitals (or practically anything else, for that
matter). By what grotesque stretch of logic am I supposed to believe
that it would be UNenjoyable to have a sensitive female partner play
with me instead? I'm not going to do it; but that's because of a
lifestyle choice (called marriage), not because it would be anything but
intensely satisfying to have a luscious little beauty tongue my clit
while I felt her juices drip across my face as I buried my face in her
pussy.
Do I think that reading and enjoying stories about hot lesbian love is
likely to "make" me a lesbian? No, I don't. I DO think these stories
make it more likely that if something would happen to my present
relationship with my husband (for example, if he would die) I would be
more likely to consider a lesbian relationship afterwards; but if I were
a betting person, I'd still bet on my finding a good man for my next
relationship.
I guess what I'm saying is that good erotic fiction should and does have
an effect on readers; but to the extent that it's realistic and readers
have their heads on straight, this is not really a problem. If readers
don't have their heads on straight or if the stories give a well written
but distorted view of reality, I think such stories can and do cause
problems.
I'm sorry! I've just realized that I've written 550 words that tend to
digress from my topic. I'll stop right now - except to say that I think
the logic expressed in the preceding paragraphs applies to other areas
as well. For example, enjoying a well written, stimulating pedophile or
D&s story does not mean that you "are" a pedophile or submissive or
whatever; it just means that you recognize certain sexy aspects of such
stories. It is my opinion that regularly reading and enjoying such
stories does, in fact, make it more likely that the person reading and
enjoying them would engage in these activities if given a chance to do
so and if there were no good reasons to refrain. If that presents a
problem (as I think is the case with rape and pedophila), the solution
is not to blame or denounce the stories, but rather to look for and give
importance to legitimate, sound reasons why such behaviors need to be
avoided - perhaps by reading or writing stories that show more realistic
consequences. (One of the stories on my Top 100 list did just that. In
"Raped Teen Burglar" TEX took a story about how much fun it would be to
rape a teenage girl and turned it into a vivid description of the likely
consequences of that kind of activity.) These insights may obvious to
many of you, and others may disagree with them; but I think I'll leave
them in this review. After all, I gave you that great lawyer joke; so a
little seriousness may be in order.
Back to the story. The first two thirds of the story was about the
development of the relationship and contained no sex, and while I read
it I thought that maybe the extreme objectivity of the author's style
might make the eventual sex scene less than interesting. Not to worry!
This is a really good story, and I hope to see more writing by this
author.
Ratings for "Lawyers in Love"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
Ratings for "Kate and Me"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Kate and Me: Friendship Spilled Over" by The Bear. {Note from
Celeste: We have two authors who call themselves The Bear. The author
of this story I shall call The Old Bear. As far as I know, he has not
posted in a long time; and his stories tended to be sensitive treatments
of sex between young adolescents and older partners. The New Bear does
not write stories that touch even close to pedophile behavior. His
stories are about sex in general.}
How would I feel if my own intelligent and sensitive daughter fell
deeply in love with a close friend of the family when she was 16 and he
was 35? Would I be upset if they began making passionate and frequent
love to one another? Yes, I guess I would be upset. But this is a
story about exactly that, and it's a beautiful story. The author
focuses on romance; he doesn't fool around with the formulas and rituals
that so often appear in the hot sex stories. I love sexy stories that
are based on something other than the cuteness of a person's ass or the
size of his sex organ. Nevertheless, the sex is really hot - because it
is so passionate and because we understand the reasons behind what the
lovers are doing. Anyone who has been deeply in love and has wanted to
do something that was obviously right but was also obviously wrong will
understand the emotions expressed in this story. The author develops an
atmosphere in which he mixes the moral ambiguity with the passion the
two lovers feel for each other. This is a really well written,
outstanding story.
Ratings for "Kate and Me"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "A Cold Day in Hell" by Delta (delta*@bc.sympatico.ca). Miller is an
electronics repairman. He just wants to be left alone. His one true
love has gone away, and he doesn't want to take chances again. It's not
that life has no meaning: it's just that the meaning comes from the
feeling of triumph when a piece of broken electronic equipment springs
back to life. Then he finds a homeless young woman and brings her home
- not for sex, but simply because he just couldn't leave her there on
the street. You can probably figure out where this story is going, but
it's still very interesting to see how Delta gets us there. Besides,
you might be surprised!
This is a long, good story with very little sex. But the long, good
part of the story makes the short, erotic part very sexy.
Ratings for "A Cold Day in Hell"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10