Celestial Reviews 249 - January 14, 1998
Note: Two statues have been standing in a park for 100 years. They are a
pair of young lovers, reaching their hands towards one another, not
quite touching. They've been that way for 100 years, reaching out, but
never quite touching.
An angel flies over and takes pity on them because they've been reaching
out for so long and never quite touching. The angel summons all his
strength and powers and brings them to life.
The angel tells them, "I have brought you to life, but I can only do
this for half an hour. My powers cannot give you any more. But for that
half-hour you may do whatever it is you've been wishing to do for the
100 years you've been there, reaching out to one another but never quite
touching."
The pair thank the angel and disappear into the bushes. There is much
grunting, groaning, and rustling of leaves. After 15 minutes the couple
re-emerge, looking very happy. "You've only used 15 minutes and I gave
you half an hour," said the angel. "Why don't you go back and do it
again?"
"Oh, yes," said the young man to the young girl. "Why don't we? But this
time you hold the pigeon down and I'll shit on it."
Second note: For you classical scholars: Iago in _Othello_, Act 1 Scene
1 line 128f.: "I am one sir that come to tell you your daughter and the
Moor are now making the beast with two backs." Imagine that. I
certainly don't remember seeing that verse when I read the play back in
my Catholic college days. I suspect I was dealing with an expurgated
virgin - er, version.
Final note: Remember: even though someone else may be posting my reviews
for me, my e-mail address is still Celeste801@aol.com.
- Celeste
"Bulls" by Lord Malinov (sexual exploit) 10, 10, 10
"Stolen by Illusion" by Morgan Preece (first time) 10, 10, 10
"A Treat for Marshall" by Proculus (schoolgirl fetish) 10, 7, 7
"Upstairs" by Generic Joe (quickie with atmosphere) 10, 7, 7
"The Biology Lesson" by Proculus" (sex education) 9, 5, 5
"Reset" by Sam Hammer (interracial sex) 7, 6, 6
"Jerry's Girl" by Phil Phantom (family gang-bang) 9.5, 8, 7
Guest Reviews:
"Reckless" (Parts I, II and III) by David L (hot sex for fun)
8, 9, 10
"Cheerleader With No Panties" by Johnny D. (spam parody) 4, 3, 3
"Conventional Warfare" by The Harkness (sex at convention)
7, 5, 7
"Jailed Girl" by Bill Majors (punishment of wife) 7.6, 2.0, 6.0
"Photo Orgy" by Unknown Author (blackmail) 10, 9, 5
"Our Thrilling Weekend" by The Lovers (very mild sex) 8, 1, 1
"Autumn Sonata" by David L (romance) 9, 10, 9
"Sorrows End" by Sandman (romance) 10, 10, 10
Reposted Reviews:
* "Flying High" by Tiffany (mile-high ff sex) 10, 10, 10
* "Brown Nosing" by Phil Phantom (fun-loving incest and
child molestation) 9.5, 9.5, 10
* = Repost of previous review (because the story has recently been
reposted)
"Bulls' by Lord Malinov (malinov@mindless.com). This story is set in the
context of two guys having a desultory conversation in a bar, with one
of them bragging about his sexual exploits with a nymphomaniac he had
fucked recently. That element of realism makes the plot of the sexual
escapades hard to follow, but no harder than when we have a similar
conversation of our own in a bar or library - depending on our level of
sophistication, I guess. This was a nice quickie.
Ratings for "Bulls"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Stolen by Illusion" by Morgan Preece (morganpreece@anon.nymserver.com).
I'm on a bit of a spree of really simple stories. This is another good
one. It's not a whole story - just an anecdote about the time the
narrator gave her virginity to her boyfriend who was on his way to
Vietnam. The sex is not all that sexy, but it's very realistic and even
touching. There's even a nice twist at the end - of the story, that is.
Ratings for "Stolen by Illusion"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"A Treat for Marshall" by Proculus (proculus@hotmail.com). The nubile,
buxom young girl casts herself in front of Marshall and places his hand
gently on her naked breast, giving him a feeling like when he has his
hair cut by his regular barber. Really. That's what it says. Anyway,
Marshall seems to be a confused, dysfunctional old man with a fetish for
schoolgirls. What we get, therefore, is a schoolgirl sex scene; but
it's not at all clear how old Marshall or the girl is or what the
relationship is between them.
An interesting moment occurs when the girl's "rigid legs locked
Marshall's head in a vice-like grip." That word is usually spelled
"vise" - although I guess vice, in the sense of moral turpitude, could
also make sense here.
Ratings for "A Treat for Marshall"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 7
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 7
"Upstairs" by Generic Joe (genericjoe@vnet.net). The guy and his
girlfriend are moving her into a new apartment. They hear unusual,
rhythmic sounds upstairs. They speculate about whether the noise is an
exercise machine or a man and woman making love or a prostitute or a
nymphomaniac or whatever. This gets them turned on, and they fuck
nicely just thinking about it.
This is the basis of a good idea, but it needs more development to
become a really good story. I hope the author keeps on trying.
Ratings for "Upstairs"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 7
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 7
"The Biology Lesson" by Proculus" (proculus@hotmail.com). When the old
biology teacher tells the class that the best way to learn is through
experience, one of the cheekier sixteen-year-old girls blurts out, "You
could show us, Sir!" The previous sentence contains some terminology
that may not be familiar to American readers. "Cheekier" doesn't mean
that her cheeks are particularly large: it's just the way Brits say that
the girl is bold in a sort of indelicate manner. There is no comparable
word in the American language, perhaps because American girls don't say
things like that. In addition, "sir" is a word that polite British
children use when speaking to a male teacher. Imagine that.
Well, next thing you know, the old guy is asking for a show of hands to
find out who has never seen a penis or an erection. You can well
imagine what the girls do with their hands once they show them. Anyway,
since Theresa "fancies} him, the old buzzard selects her to demonstrate
the concept of sexual intercourse, even though this has the unfortunate
effect of minimizing the ability of the other students to directly
observe the phenomenon called "ejaculation."
That's about all there is to it: an interesting concept, perhaps, but
not much development.
Ratings for "The Biology Lesson"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 5
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 5
"Reset" by Sam Hammer. Ann is a tiny Vietnamese woman with big tits who
gives great head, even though she dislikes the taste; but her ungrateful
husband, Quin, has a tendency to fall asleep before repaying her for the
favor. Ann also enjoys her job in her workplace, especially the time
she spends conversing with Roger, whose wife dumped him because his cock
was too big for her to handle. Right! I forgot to mention that Roger
is a black guy and Quin is a white guy, which tells you about all you
need to know about the monstrosity factor of their respective cocks.
What's a girl to do?
Of course, what Ann does is fuck Roger every which way except nasally,
while he mistreats her and calls her a slut and such; and Ann enjoys it
so much that she invites her sister Kat to join in as well. There's
even more, but you can read the story to find out what else happens.
As you may recall, I have a sister who is married to a black man. As
near as I can figure, he's pretty much like a white guy in the sack.
His cock is apparently no more monstrous than my husband's, and she
doesn't consider her husband to be a stud. She DOES consider his skin
color to be a factor in her relationship with him - she thinks it looks
nice, much as he likes the clarity of her eye color. In short, although
they do experience sociological problems from neighbors and coworkers
who think the races should never mix, their romantic lives are pretty
much like everyone else's. I haven't shown this story to my sister or
to my brother-in-law, but I am certain that they would consider it to be
an example of perpetuating a stupid stereotype.
Ratings for "Reset"
Athena (technical quality): 7
Venus (plot & character): 6
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 6
"Jerry's Girl" by Phil Phantom. Jerry and Pam are on their way to the
Junior Prom. Pam is a "nice girl" from the right side of the tracks.
Jerry is a very decent fellow, but his family lives on the wrong side of
those tracks. Not only that - they also have some unusual habits. For
example, when Jerry and Pam stop by for pictures before the prom, Dad
swings Pam onto his lap and asks her if she's still a virgin. The rest
of the family gathers around, and the kids say things like, "Show us her
pussy, Dad!"
After Dad tries her out and they take some pictures (the sort that
appear on Usenet with captions like, "Chearleeder Cunt Begs for Cum!" -
in all capital letters), the kids go to the prom. Afterwards Pam
insists on returning to Jerry's house, where the family gang-bangs her.
Jerry does it kind of badly at first, but after sufficient
demonstrations, he finally gets it right. Dad gets all the action on
tape. Of course, Dad sells porn videos, and Pam's father - the judge -
is his biggest customer.
Aside from some minor typos, this author writes pretty well. However,
the story requires a considerable suspension of disbelief. The notion
of a nice kid bringing a nice girl home to his horny and disreputable
father could be the basis for a great plot; but the author stretches
things with the simplistic assumption that the girl would simply catch
on and enjoy the good clean fun.
Ratings for "Jerry's Girl"
Athena (technical quality): 9.5
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 7
"Reckless" (Parts I, II and III) by David L (dhl@sysun.com).
Review by Mark Aster
I don't generally like long sex stories. It's hard to keep the
sex integrated into the rest of the story for that long, and all
too often the sex feels artificial, or the rest of the story gets
tedious, or the sex itself gets repetitive and obvious. The two
best ways to avoid these problems are to make the sex an important
part of the story, but keep the sex scenes rare and high-impact
(as in Rivers' recent "Journey to the East"), or to string
together a variety of sex scenes in a generally-enjoyable story.
David L seems to be quite capable of the latter, if the first
three parts of his novel-in-progress are any indication. It
reminds me somewhat of the "Trinity Trilogy" (or even that
"Allens" thing) with a somewhat sluttier atmosphere.
Three main characters (so far!): a slutty 18-year-old, and two
adults from her school. MF, FF, some voyeurism, some spanking, a
little bd. Lots of dirty talk and the usual sort of taunting.
But what makes reading this enjoyable, at least for me, is that
the characters seem to be ENJOYING it. All too often dirty talk
in sex stories seems to reflect a lack of respect, and even a
positive contempt, between the characters; that's an instant turn-
off for me. In this story, the characters are doing it because
it's fun, and it feels sexy, not because it satisfies some deep
dark pathological need to hurt or to be hurt. I can see these
characters (in fact I'd like very much to see them!) lying around
after a hot sex session, talking and laughing about the wild
things they thought of to call each other this time.
A few typos ("once again came again"), a few misplaced apostrophes
("Theirs'"), a little trouble thinking of new descriptions for the
characters ("the lewd school employee" probably would have read
better as just "Pam"). And one oddity that I've done myself: the
slutty teen is named "Kristy Whitman". Now it's possible that it
will turn out later in the novel that she grows up to be the
governor of New Jersey, but if not, the coincidence of names is
just a distraction! (The first draft of my "Black Oak" had a kid
in it named "Randy Quaid", which is apparently the name of some
actor or something; a friend who read an early draft (Hi, Mat!)
pointed that out to me.) These celebrity names have a way of
getting lodged in our heads, and jumping out when we're trying to
think of a random character name...
But anyway, a nice start to what could be a very nice novel.
Nothing amazing in the literary sense, but that's not what this
author's after! <grin> Lots of nice hot sex, and highly
recommended for those who like to see people who basically like
each other doing things that make everyone involved feel really,
really good.
Some numbers, keeping in mind that I'm a pretty hard grader:
Ratings for "Reckless"
Athena: 8 (above average, some typos and cliches)
Venus: 9 (hot sex)
Mark: 10 (I really liked it)
"Cheerleader With No Panties" by Johnny D. - reviewed by James
In reviewing this story I carried out a little research - I visited
Johnny's web site: http://www.cryogen.com/JohnnyD/. If I hadn't done
this then I would never have found out that Johnny is capable of writing
a good story...
"Cheerleader With No Panties" is, to me, like its spam inspiration:
almost instantly forgettable. The story, which takes no more than ten
minutes to read, is centered around a bank robbery that's foiled by our
flying superhero "Cheerleader With No Panties". Yet, is that really all
there is to this story?
In fact, this story has left me with a nagging question. Why does
someone who can write a story like "I Am The Rapist", write something
like "Cheerleader With No Panties"?
Ratings for "Cheerleader With No Panties":
Technical Merit: 4
Plot & Character: 3
Appeal to Reviewer: 3
"Conventional Warfare" by The Harkness (tharkness@hotmail.com). Guest
review by Wherryman.
This is an anecdote rather than a story, told by a delegate at a
convention. An attractive woman buys him a drink and after some
conversation she escorts him back to his room for a round of great sex.
Names are apparently not exchanged, although the woman does leave her
business card before leaving.
Since this is an anecdote, you don't expect deep characterization
(unless it's *very* good, by Mark Aster perhaps) and you don't get much
time for plot; so there has to be something else to lift it out of the
pack. Unfortunately this doesn't have it; the sex is straight vanilla
and making it an extruded plastics convention isn't enough.
Technically there was little problem. It went through the spell-checker
without problem - after I remembered to change to the US dictionary.
Nevertheless getting a third party to read it first might have smoothed
out those areas where odd style overlaps with poor grammar.
Rating for "Conventional Warfare"
Technical merit 7
Plot & character 5
Appeal to reviewer 7
"Jailed Girl" by Bill Majors. Guest review by Jubjub.
Plot: Husband and wife are divorcing. Husband sets up wife with fake
arrest and humiliates her with strip search and spanking by "police".
This story had serious problems from top to bottom. I have a checklist
that I use to rate various aspects of the stories that I review. Every
point had major deficits.
First off, the punctuation, spelling, and grammar all had small errors
of omission. End quotes were dropped, commas misplaced, letters
dropped out of words ("is" instead of "his") and words dropped out of
phrases. But, except for one homophone error ("throws" instead of
"throes"), none made the story unreadable. Still, a good proofing would
have helped. The writer used sentence fragments as a vehicle for
descriptions. This can be a legitimate style, but he didn't use them
very effectively. My overall rating indicates a readable story, but not
near perfect .
The lack of characterization really hurt. The two questions facing any
writer are: Are the characters deep enough to care about (one way or
another)? Do the characters present a cohesive whole? The author
needed to show that the wife "deserved" this punishment because of her
bitchiness and general unpleasantness. Opportunities did present
themselves to make her out to be some kind of "Zsa Zsa Gabor" type of
woman who slaps policeman around. But the wife did little but scream
"No, don't do that" and other stuff like that. She was also incredibly
naive not to realize halfway through that maybe those really weren't
policemen. Especially since she was supposedly the wife of a defense
attorney.
The husband is barely mentioned and given little motivation. You have
to assume that he wanted revenge against his wife, because the author
never gives a clue why this is even happening. He actually gives more
character depth to the police (which really isn't saying much) but that
only acts as a distraction. The writer badly needed to use the inner
thoughts of his main characters to drive this story.
There is no real conflict, no tension and no resolution. The story ends
and the writing stops. The description of the events are good enough
that I found myself responding. In fact, that response is the sole
reason the appeal rating is as high as it is. A good set of
descriptions in an erotic story can go a long way for me. If only the
writer had wrapped good characters around the story arc, I might have
given this story very high ratings.
There is a whisper of possibilities in this story. If the author
continues to write, I would strongly suggest he at least start by giving
us more than just the physical events. A story can be made considerably
more erotic if we follow the thinking of the characters.
Ratings for "Jailed Girl"
Technical: 7.6 Quite readable but has small errors of omission
Characters: 2.0 No depth whatsoever
Appeal: 6.0 Descriptions were very good but lack of story arc
hurt a lot.
"Photo Orgy" by Unknown Author. Guest review by Anne747.
Okay, before the review - rant time about reposting. This story was
originally posted 10/16/97 by TheEditor <grobert@IDT.NET>. The person
posting it flagged it as NEW and stated they didn't write it. The
original post was divided up into twelve chapters. On 01/09/98 it was
reposted by "ass.reposter" without the chapter divisions or any comment
about the original poster. If TheEditor posted it as new, it's likely
he/she has some knowledge of the source. Removing that information is a
poor choice - removing the chapter divisions makes the story harder to
read.
The story is 50,000+ words long. The chapter divisions are crucial in
breaking it up to make it more readable. The reposter has done a grave
disservice to the author in screwing with the original post. One of my
first comments in the review was going to be `too long - should be
broken up into chapters'. But before I get into the review - even the
original poster does the author a disservice - no offer to pass along
comments or copyright notice. Of course, I'm assuming that TheEditor
had permission to post it - that they didn't just steal it from
somewhere.
{Note from Celeste: The Editor has posted several of these stories, and
I have reviewed several. They are as long as published porn novels and
the proofreading is good. It seems unusual that someone would put so
much work into this sort of thing and then let someone post it without
soliciting feedback. If anyone recognizes these stories as coming from
some published source, I'd like to know about it.}
Okay, the review. It's likely going to be wordy, since technically at
50,000+ words, it's closer to a book review. First, the story was
posted without codes. It should carry a few really. It probably should
have marked teen and maybe even nc and incest. I'll get back to that in
a minute; but the story is predominantly MF, and adding more `codes'
might ruin the story. This is a well drawn out story that someone has
spent a lot of time on. The main character `Pete' is not the most
likable guy, right from page one, but as you read on further it becomes
obvious you aren't supposed to like him.
Pete is stuck in a life he doesn't see an escape from. He's 23, working
as a plumber, and figures he won't go much further in life. He spends
his days unblocking toilets and fucking all the local bored housewives.
During one of his `sessions' one of the women tells him she doesn't want
him to screw her, but to deflower her 16 year old daughter. Pete of
course jumps at the idea; and even when the young girl is crying and
screaming in pain, Mommy is urging Pete on. Oh yes, mother is helping
and snapping a few pictures for the family album (yeah right).
This gives Pete a great idea. He's going to enlist the help of an
accomplice and take pictures of all of his regular lays. Then he'll
blackmail them all for a while and save as much money as he can, so he
can leave town and escape his fate. I have a problem with the
motivation at this point. I mean, the hourly rate of a plumber is what
- $75? And he's going to blackmail these women for $10 a week? He'd be
better off doing a single job on the side. The story has been fairly
well developed, but the motivation is off. I might even buy it if the
women were richer, or nastier, and Pete had some anger at not having
what the rest of the world had. There is also an attempt to make Pete a
more sympathetic slug about halfway, but it doesn't work. He feels
guilty when blackmailing his first woman, even saying he would be paying
her back once his business is going strong. Again, I would think most
people who are driven to blackmail someone feel some sense of justice in
sticking it to the other person.
To tell you more would be to spoil the ending, so I won't. Overall it's
a well-written piece - this isn't something that was dashed off, someone
worked hard on it. I think that's why it bothers me that it's posted
with no author credit. Did I like it? Hmm, not really; but that's me.
I tend not to pick novel length erotica - even with published stuff, I
prefer anthologies. Also, my distaste for the main character
overshadows the sex scenes. Even before the blackmail comes up, Pete is
pretty repulsive. The women are just broads, and in his own words: "Of
course, to really make it with these suburban broads you gotta have
looks and a way with words. And I got both up the ass. In the last
year alone, I been in and out of more holes than the Roto Rooter man."
So, even though I didn't like it, is it worth a read? Might be. It's a
pretty good morality tale, even with the poor motivation. Hey, and
there is plenty of sex in it. Now, a comment on the personal appeal
mark. For me under 5 - I hated it, over 5 - I liked it. 5 means I just
didn't move me enough in either direction.
Oh - and do yourself a favour. If you are going to read it, get the
original posting from Eli's archive. That way you can read it a chapter
at a time, as the author likely intended.
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year97/4942.txt
Ratings for "Photo Orgy"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9 (I just don't buy the reasons for Pete's
actions)
Anne747 (appeal to reviewer): 5
"Our Thrilling Weekend" by The Lovers (lovers@unforgettable.com).
Guest review by David Rills.
This piece is billed as a "true story". That might explain why it
is about as interesting as a shopping list. The narrator starts
out with a discussion of how he reformatted his computer and then
goes into how he screwed his wife one weekend. His story contains
nothing "thrilling" nor does it indicate any excitement.
However, I don't see any major problem with his grammar or
spelling. My suggestion:
SKIP THIS ONE !
Ratings for "Our Thrilling Weekend"
Athena (technical quality): 8
Venus (plot & character): 1
David (appeal to reviewer): 1
"Autumn Sonata" by David L (dhl@sysun.com). Guest review by Dart.
This is a nice, but longish, story that examines in some detail
the transformation of a friendship, during the course of a single
evening, into an erotic relationship.
The heart of the story is a walk which two recent friends, David
and Autumn, each recovering from emotional damage, take together
on a cold, snowy evening. There is a third character in the story,
Janet, a friend of David's and of Autumn's; but her role is
relegated to the story's setup, and to watching over Autumn's two
children the evening of David and Autumn's walk.
Their walk begins at Janet's home. Autumn has planned on spending
the evening alone, but it's a ten block walk to her house and
David thinks she's ill-prepared for the cold and the snow. Since
his apartment is on her way and only four blocks away, he insists
that they walk there so he can outfit her with an extra layer of
clothing. After he finds extra clothing for her, and insists that
she put them on before continuing her walk, he helps her into a
second pair of socks and a pair of his older boots. She enjoys the
touch of his hand on her leg, but suppresses the emotion. Since
her disillusioning divorce, she has been denying or controlling
many of her feelings.
When she's ready to leave, David suggests that he walk her home,
since he was planning to go for a walk anyway. Autumn reluctantly
accepts his offer. After they start off, David offers a modest
alteration in their path. He'd like to take her by the house where
he was raised. She accepts the alteration, but is saddened by the
sight that greets them: A dark, empty house with a "For Sale" sign
in the front yard. David's mother died six months ago, and his
siblings want their share. David claims the house is too large for
him anyway, but Autumn is saddened, and is reminded of tears in
her own past life.
When they continue their walk, Autumn offers her own modest
alteration, and David accepts. They walk to the highest point of
the town's park, and when there, Autumn informs him that this is
the spot where she had buried her wedding ring. David needs to be
told why she has told him this, and she tells him; and with the
telling a crack appears in her carefully controlled emotions, her
reserve falters, and she grows almost loquacious.
When they finally reach Autumn's apartment, her mood has altered
significantly from when they left Janet's home, and consequently,
she invites David up for something hot to drink. He accepts, and
builds a fire while she prepares the hot drinks. And then all
those layers of clothing need to come off, and they do, in a long,
caring and passionate sexual encounter.
There's a wealth of detail in this forty-page story that the
author uses adroitly to develop several interesting characters and
weave their lives together in a realistic plot. It was a nice
story to read. And it's clear that a story this long and this well
written took a considerable amount of effort. The author, David L,
kindly acknowledges the proofreading assistance of his wife and
additional unspecified help from Kristen. I would suggest that he
also enlist the assistance of one of Celeste's proofreaders. Not
because the story is badly written - it is not as I hope I've made
clear above; but because readers close to the author - I speak
from personal experience - sometimes are, along with the author,
too excited with the story to catch every little flaw.
Ratings for "Autumn Sonata"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 10
Dart (appeal to reviewer): 9
"Sorrows End" by Sandman (sandman@bitsmart.com)
Guest review by Anne747 (Anon747@aol.com)
I'm almost tempted to use the author's own introduction to tell you what
the story is about. In fact, his own summary is, `A plane crash forces
a hermit to share his cabin for a long arctic winter with two women.'
Now that might give a misleading idea of what the story is about;
however, the author goes a little further and says:
"Considering that I had the chance to explore incest, pregnant sex, and
an interesting threesome, the story and characters evolved in a very
tame manner. I think I am probably as surprised as anyone that what
sprang forth was a rather quaint love story with nothing even remotely
approaching taboo. This is a story yes, there's sex in it yes, but sex
isn't the end all and be all of this tale."
And he's right. What we have here is a sweet romantic tale that deals
far more with two people falling in love than anything else. The only
change I might suggest is a section at the beginning of the lovemaking
scene. We almost slip back into the `sex story' mode when she notes his
`well sized organ' and his hands roam across her `her ample breasts'.
Up until this point it has been an emotional piece. These two lines are
very close and tend to pull you back to a `physical' impression. The
characters have a very real feel to them, this almost brings them back
to the usual celluloid feel of sex story characters.
Now, I'm not a romantic at heart. I normally wouldn't pick them to read.
Also, I might have preferred a slightly different ending, but this is
just a personal thing. Overall, this is a well-written, poignant story,
and I did enjoy it. I was going to knock a point off on the personal
appeal simply because romance pieces aren't my thing, but looking back
at some of the other reviews I've done I decided that wasn't fair.
Interesting note: after 29 reviews - this is the first straight 10s
review I've given.
Ratings for "Sorrows End"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Anne747 (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Flying High" by Tiffany (claytonj@SkyBest.Com). Maybe I should just
say this is a good story and let it go at that. This one is a bit hard
to explain. As the unofficial librarian of the Mile High Club, I
collect stories about sex on airplanes. According to my records, I have
previously reviewed nine stories that fit this description. The five
best ones have been "Adventures on Flight 109" by Ann Douglas, "La
Salope" by Joe Parsons, "American Airlines Cockpit" by Mary Anne
Mohanraj, "Wonderful Journey" by Kid Dynamite, and "Airscrew" by Pete
Fox.
Lucy Stevens, a straight woman and a virgin a week or so ago, is on the
way home by plane to visit her family after her marriage. A kid ogles
her, and she flashes him. Then the woman next to her double dares Lucy
to go further, and before we know it we have a veritable coven of card-
carrying lesbians having mind blowing orgasms with Lucy and ruffling the
kid's hair. The kid's mother wakes up and gets upset, but he's probably
seen worse in the Swimsuit Issue of Sports Illustrated or on the Web.
As part of the good natured fun, the lezzies destroy all Lucy's clothes
except her dress. And so when she meets the family, she has more
'splaining to do than she had anticipated. I told you: this is a hard
one to explain.
Ratings for "Flying High"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Brown Nosing" by Phil Phantom. Some people will dislike this
story because it was originally zipped but now it's decoded.
Others will object because it is about incest. I think it's just
plain funny. Anyway, the man has just gotten a job, but he leaves
his wife and family behind in the room with the boss during the
final interview. The boss fondles the man's daughter; and the
man's son becomes turned on and begins fondling the mother. The
third child becomes so excited that "she didn't know who to
watch." That should be "whom," of course. Some of these authors
get so excited that they screw the hell out of their pronouns as
soon as their hormones get going.
A lot of readers enjoy blackmail and pedophile stories; and this
one combines both. I usually don't like either element, but I
enjoyed this one largely because of the grotesque perspective. We
see the first part of the story from the viewpoint of the father,
who re-enacts everything that happens while his wife tells him
about it. The storytelling style is most interesting; it reminded
me of the old Bert and Ernie sequence from Sesame Street ("Did
anything interesting happen today?" "Nope." "How did you tear
your shirt pocket?" "Oh, that happened when I was running too
fast through the door at the circus... after Johnny said we had
better go home... after the tent started to collapse... after the
mime started yelling and screaming.... because the door to the
lion cage had come open... after the tiger devoured the trainer...
right after his partner had been shot by the homicidal maniac who
was using me as a human shield... But don't worry; the S.W.A.T.
team shot him.... right after he threw the hand grenade down my
pants.... ) Actually, the Sesame Street version was a little
different, but the idea is that the wife casually describes to the
husband increasingly outrageous activities; and the guy just
listens, tries the ideas out on his wife, makes her cum, and then
says he'll have to have a talk with the kids.
Of course, if this would happen to you and your family in real
life, you should go straight to a good lawyer. Make that an
expensive lawyer - they're easier to find. The lawyer will fill
you in on the details regarding how you can become immensely rich
by suing the bastard for child molestation.
But there's more! After dropping Dad off at home, Mom goes back
to get the kids at the movies. She wants to have a talk with them
- to make sure they don't lose respect for her, of course. So
while they're driving home, the kids essentially gang-rape her
with hand jobs in the moving car. They even argue over who gets
what. During a typical American car trip, when the children argue
and get out of hand, the parent often screams, "Shuddup, you
little motherfuckers!" I suppose that would have been ironic
under these circumstances.
But there's more! Eventually the boss starts making night calls
to the family's house and brings clients to go into the girl's
room and plays sex and bondage games with Sherry and Sandy after
using Mom as a warm-up course while Dad does paperwork for the
company. This pushed me beyond the limits of what I could endure.
That should be girls' - it's s-apostrophe, not apostrophe-s, for
plural possessives!
This was an interesting but bizarre story. If any of you try this
in real life, you deserve to be arrested. Then you will burn in
hell and will be forced to live with an American politician for
all eternity.
Ratings for "Brown Nosing"
Athena (technical quality): 9.5
Venus (plot & character): 9.5
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10