Sean was kinda wishing he could trade places with Don right now.
Well, no, not really. He liked sex, reading, and drinking too much for that. Hell, he'd done all three at once a couple times, which had been a blast in more than one way. However, he probably would be wishing for death within a few minutes of getting up in front of his fellow teens. It's one thing to want to be in charge, to know that you, rather than some other idiot, knew what the best course of action was, and to desire to have it carried out. It was quite another to know that if things fail it's your fault.
He suddenly appreciated Kine's desire to always be the number two guy.
The forty or so remaining crew were gathered on the shuttle deck, sitting on whatever was lying around. On Kine's suggestion, kegs had been brought down for a pre-meeting beverage, although the supply was getting low. He had to remember to remind them of that fact. Another of Kine's suggestions.
Sean glanced to his right at Kine, leaning on a disassembled shuttle reactor. The bald Mel was next to him, whispering something in his ear to which the blond shook his head in amusement. The extent to which Sean was relying on the guy was frightening. OK, yes, he had been Don's second, so knew much of the stuff the little guy had been keeping from everyone else. But, still... it almost seemed like Kine was promoting Sean to sacrificial figurehead.
He wasn't sure he liked the idea.
The crowd was getting restless, so Sean took a step up onto the loading ramp and faced them, holding up his hands. Kine pushed himself off the reactor and moved to the base of the ramp.
"OK, everyone, listen up!"
The crowd started to quiet, and Sean tried to take in their mood. It was...
"Who died and made you Don?"
The calm female voice came from the right. Turning his head, he saw... Lessa.
She was dressed in black. Black combat pants, probably male but altered to be more form fitting, and a black t-shirt. He wondered where the hell she had gotten them, before remembering that one mission. Between her breasts hung three gold lockets on two chains, standing out against the black like stars. Her eyes... even from twenty meters away, he could feel the power of her gaze. Her brown hair was in a fresh braid, gun belts crossing on her waist. Walking with her were both Shelly, which was to be expected, and... what was that girl's name who impressed him on the London? Ah, right, Wendi. Both also dressed in black, and armed. They kept two steps behind Lessa as the three approached the group.
Sean had a very bad feeling about this.
As Lessa and her companions came to a stop two or so meters away from Sean, Kine casually moved between them, Mel also subtly sliding behind the trio. Lessa noted this with a smile that comforted nobody.
"So," Kine said, casually, "you decided to join us. You holding up OK, Lessa?" There was genuine concern in his voice, as well as the unspoken belief that any answer would not be fully trusted. Or so it seemed to Sean.
"I've had better days," she replied, glancing around. Anyone who felt her eyes on them looked away. She looked back at Kine, ignoring Sean. "What's the party for?"
"Oh, we're just going to talk about what happens next. The usual post-disaster briefing. Care to join us?" He motioned to an open spot where she could sit. Their eyes locked, some communication going on that Sean couldn't guess. Lessa slowly nodded, and she and her companions sank to the ground right where they were standing. Kine chuckled, moving back to his original position as if nothing had happened.
Sean looked back at the crowd. There was now a sense of... nervous anticipation. They sensed a coming fight for leadership, and, he realized, didn't really care about the outcome. For now, they probably just wanted SOMEONE to do something.
His throat felt dry, and Sean remembered Don had taken to doing these things with a drink in hand. He had been smart, that Don. Looking down at Kine, he formed his hand slightly in the shape of a cup, and the blond nodded, signaling to Mel. The bald girl nodded and headed towards the refreshments. Sean figured he'd better start.
"We did not, I think, have a good day yesterday." There were mutters of agreement. The twin with the bandaged arm yelled out, "Yeah, ya think?" He looked down at Lessa.
"We're going to miss Don." She looked back without emotion. He decided to ignore her from then on and focus on the crowd. "Amanda has suggested we set up a memorial in the garden, for those we've lost, and I think that's a good idea. With luck, we won't be adding many more names to it."
Mel walked up to him, holding a cup, and gratefully he accepted it and took a sip. He spit it back out immediately.
"What the fuck is this, woman? 'Fruity beer'? Don't give me that shit! Either some real booze, or water, which in this place probably has a bigger kick than this stuff!"
That broke the tension. With laughter filling the room Mel took the cup back, a sly smile on her face, and walked back towards the drinks. A suspicion forming in his head, Sean flicked his eyes over to Kine. The giant was acting suspiciously non-suspicious. If this was that type of environment, Sean thought, he'd have him killed tonight as a long term threat. He saw Mel approaching again, and taking the drink saw it was a dark red wine. He raised it to her and took a swig, sighing in pleasure.
"That's better, woman." There was applause as Mel walked to the back of the crowd, nobody really noticing she then circled around and positioned herself behind Lessa's group again. His eyes again flicked to Kine. That girl was playing the blond the same way Kine was playing Sean. For some reason, that made him feel better. Sean continued. "We got our butts kicked, but now we have to think about the future. First... we need supplies. Badly. We're not going to starve, not just yet, but the longer we wait the more we risk having to flee and not getting supplied at all. Besides," he grinned, "That's almost the last of the beer."
"No!"
"The horror!"
"My god, why have you forsaken me?!?"
There was laughter among the half serious cries of woe. Once again, Kine had been right. The mother fucker.
"We'll probably attempt a landing or docking in a day or two, once we figure out where's the safest. Which then brings us to what we do next. This system," he said, looking over at Hanna and Jenny, "is fucking dangerous now. We'll need to eventually move either farther out or back to the inner planets before any of you should leave us. Before then, though, Kine has suggested just laying low for a bit. Park the ship somewhere once we're resupplied and sit and listen for a few weeks. Find out what's going on, if the attack on the London is the start of something major or if things will die down and life will go back to 'normal'. Not that 'normal' was all that great."
He saw general nods, and both Jenny and Hanna reached for each other's hands as they whispered to each other. He felt frustration rising in him. Why couldn't he have a lover like that. They obviously were totally in love, not just lust. It showed in every movement they made together.
He shook his head, getting his mind off of that train of thought, and again looked over the crew. Someone in the back shouted up at him.
"Then what?"
"Then we go on as before. Nothing we did caused yesterday, so changing our plans because of it doesn't make much sense."
"Can I offer another option?"
Lessa stood. All eyes on her, she walked past Kine and up the ramp to stand next to Sean. She stopped so close he took a step back to get her out of his personal space... then realized what that had to look like to everyone there. He cursed to himself. The battle was almost lost already.
Lessa looked over the crowd. She reached up and unconsciously fingered the lockets, a movement so reminiscent of Don that there were almost audible gasps from some of the teens. Gathering her thoughts, she raised herself to almost attention and spoke.
"Yesterday... changed us. Changed me. We are not the same ship. We are not the same crew. To go on like that... yes, it is what Don wanted. I wanted it too. But... I now have a quest."
Sean closed his eyes and silently groaned. This could NOT be good.
"A quest I do NOT expect all of you to happily join me on. It's a quest of vengeance, and thus personal." She looked down at Amanda, sitting in the front with Sirenia. "What's one thing Don always said?"
" 'Go fuck yourself, Kine' ?" The room broke out into laughter again at that, and even Lessa grinned down at the girl.
"Well, yes, that, but he also said two things we should always take to heart. Don would often, as we lay together, curse the universe over the fact that, all too often, we just can't do what's right. We can not rescue those who need rescuing, help those who need helping. This was mostly because of his other saying, his other belief: Don refused to ask any of you to suicide for any cause. Any action was judged against the risk, and only those who volunteered were to ever be in danger. The rest of you were to be kept out of harm's way."
There were some sheepish looks in the crowd. Some on the crew had never taken any risks, had let the others go into danger to provide for them. Don had never shamed them, but Lessa in a few words managed to remind them of their debt.
"In my quest, I will do the same. I will ask for volunteers, I will ask for assistance, but I will NEVER force my will on you."
Oh, but you are, thought Sean. You are.
"What IS your quest?" Ger asked the question. Lessa looked at him.
"To kill those who killed my Don."
Sean had finally had enough. He stepped up next to the woman.
"You're going to kill the entire Federation? Really? Did the fun with the Slavers teach you nothing?" The look she gave him was calm, collected. And, thus, frightening as fuck. He didn't react, though, and kept his gaze on this psycho. Especially her hands.
"I have some small measure of perspective and realism in this matter, Sean. He was killed by those who planned and carried out that attack." She reached into a pocket and pulled out patches on pieces of cloth, some of which were a bit stained. "I know at least one unit that took part. We trace them, we find out what the fuck was going on." Lessa turned back to the group. "That attack was NOT normal. They killed hundreds, thousands, of civilians, just so they could capture... something, or someone. They need to be punished. They need to be... HURT."
Sean opened his mouth to say something, but Lessa took a step forward and kept going.
"We have tried staying under the radar. We have tried not pissing anyone off, except those who were evil. Well, these fuckers... are evil. They deserve to be killed. Oh, yes, we can not get them all. There's no way we can cleanse the universe. But..." Lessa paused, hands going to the swell of her belly. "I owe it, we owe it, to the child of Don that his father not have died in vain." She looked over the crowd, hands still on her belly. "You need, we need, a goal. An ending to look forward to. Let me give it to you. It will be five or so months before Don's child comes into the world. Before then, as I become unable to do all that I must, Shelly and Wendi have asked to be my arms and hands in this quest. I ask that all of you and this ship become our transportation and ears, helping us to learn what we must so we can do what we must do. I ask that our raids, for supplies and money, hit those that will lead us further in our quest. Then, once the baby comes, take the three of us where we ask so we can do our final task.
"Then... after what's done is done... let Don's child be the first of many. Let us start families."
There was a gasp from the spell bound teens. A number of the girls leaned forward, eyes wide. Sean just looked at her, not knowing what to say to save them from this.
"Yes, let us start families, raise children. Many of you have found partners. Let us make that permanent and real. You can be fathers, mothers... uncles, aunts... we can start our own community, clan, whatever you want to call it. Follow me, and I will give you back all we gave up long ago." Lessa's face was aglow. "Follow me, and we can strike one blow against evil that we can proudly tell our children, and our children's children. Don's death, Irene's death, all the deaths, will not have been in vain. Then, we can move on, and be HUMAN again!"
She raised her left arm in the air, fist closed around the bloody patches. A black haired girl jumped to her feet, raised her own hand, chanting.
"Lessa! Lessa! Lessa!"
Within seconds everyone was on their feet.
Sean backed up a step. His eyes looked over the room in horror. She... he looked down at Kine. He was looking at Lessa with an expression of... sadness. He, too, knew what had just happened here, and that they had probably just been doomed. Sean's attention was suddenly drawn to Kine's hands. While the blond was looking at Lessa, his fingers seemed to be making complicated shapes where only Sean could see them. What the... Sean's eyes widened. It was the Guard battle language! How the hell did that fucker come to know that?! He mentally translated Kine's message. It took a second to comprehend, as the battle language was created for quick silent commands and not politics, but Kine had done a remarkable job. Sean tried not to react audibly once he understood.
"What can not be stopped, must be controlled."
Seeing Sean had comprehended, Kine slowly walked over and stood next to Lessa. He would be her advisor.
The dark skinned seventeen year old, former member of the elite, feared Guard, just stood on the ramp, broken and defeated. Looking down at the cup still in his hand, he raised it up and downed the contents in one swallow. He then slowly walked down to the kegs to get seriously drunk.
****
Mari had understood some of what was going on around her. The eight year old was rather smart, a trait that still had some value in the universe. She had sat listening to Lessa go on about killing bad guys, having babies, and being mommies and daddies. She liked all that. Having little babies around to play with would be fun. With the brothers Randy and Andy spending time "helping" in engineering much of the day, she only had the three year old Pug to play with when not busy doing the important work of helping prepare the meals. It was a hard job, cooking all that food, and she knew her part of it was the most important. Sirenia had said so. Nobody cut and peel better than she did.
The meeting seemed to be ending, once again with no one standing up and in fact saying it was over. Mari was always confused about that: how could you know it was time to leave if nobody stood up and said it was time to leave? That's how it had always been in school! The thought of school suddenly depressed her. She missed her friends, even more than she missed her family. There was nobody her age here to play with, no girls at least. That seven year old Randy didn't count: he didn't LIKE girls! She also missed learning. Oh, she had learned a lot in the kitchen, but she wanted to learn oh so much more! The world was so complicated, and she wanted to understand!
Movement caught her eye, and looking up Mari saw Lessa, Wendi and Shelly walk by her towards the exit. The sight of Shelly made her happy. The girl liked Shelly. The dark haired and skinned teen always had time for her, despite being twice Mari's age. She liked playing, would sit and listen to Mari sing... Maybe she'd like to play with Mari now! Pushing herself off the box she had used as a seat, Mari quickly tried to catch up with them.
****
"Shelly!"
Shelly stopped, as did her companions, and turning saw little Mari come running up to them in the hallway. Despite the weirdness that had just happened in there, Shelly had to now smile. She liked the brat. She brought the kid out in her, much as Lessa brought out her inner bitch.
"Yes?"
Mari came to a stop in front of her, putting her hands behind her back and rocking back and forth on her heals. Her pink blouse stood out against the black outfits of the three teens.
"What'cha doin?"
All three chuckled, looking down at Mari. Shelly crouched to be closer to eye level.
"We're going to go do grown up stuff."
"What?"
"We're going to train, learn how to fight," Wendi said. She was happy and proud. It would be her first training session with Mistress Lessa. She had wanted this for months.
"Can I come?" It sounded wonderful to Mari, much better then peeling more vegetables. She looked at Shelly hopefully. The teen smiled.
"No, not now. This is for big girls." Mari pouted, pointing up at Wendi.
"She's only three years older than me! Can't I do it? Please?!? Can I at least come and watch?"
Shelly was shaking her head no, but felt a hand on her shoulder. Tilting her head, she saw Lessa looking down at the girl, a contemplative expression on her face. Shelly realized what was going to happen, and shook her head at Lessa.
"No! She's too young!"
"Am not!"
Shelly felt Lessa's hand squeeze on her shoulder... and her reply died in her throat. She looked back at Mari as Lessa spoke.
"It's never too early to learn to survive. I started when I was even younger than she is. You can come with us, Mari. Just sit and watch to start, then we'll go from there."
Mari ran over and gave Lessa a huge hug, then gave Wendi one. She had worked with Wendi often in the kitchen, and couldn't wait to play with her at this game called "training".
Shelly slowly rose to her feet, Lessa's hand still on her shoulder. Lessa gave her a sad smile.
"She has to grow up sometime." With that, Lessa turned and led the four down the hall. Shelly found herself in the rear, looking at the back of Lessa's head.
"No she doesn't," she whispered.