Subject:     Revelations
Story Codes: MF F-solo incest father daughter
Diary Date:  February 14, 2010
Author:      Kelly <pghpa_girl@yahoo.com>

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

                              !!!WARNING!!!!

This file contains sexually explicit material which may include graphic 
depictions of underage, nonconsensual and unprotected sex as well as 
incest, adultery, sodomy and bestiality.  It is distributed on a website 
clearly identified as "For Adults Only".  Possession by a minor is 
strictly forbidden.  If you are not legally empowered to be in possession 
of such material, do not read it and delete it immediately.

This work is copyrighted 2016 to the author. It may be posted to non- 
commercial "free" sites, or in the "free" area of commercial sites so 
long as no changes are made to the content and the Author information is 
retained.   Any other use of this work is by written permission of the 
Author only.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Summary
=======
Until just recently I would have contended that I finally had my life 
pretty much in order.  My religious beliefs were biblically grounded.  
From these beliefs, I’d worked out the moral and ethical principles to 
guide my actions.  My career goals were laid out and I felt I knew “what 
I want to be when I grow up”.  While marriage still seemed to be a 
distant goal, I enjoyed good relationships with my family and friends.  
Yep, I was perhaps even a bit smug, confident that I pretty much had 
everything under control.

A lot can change in a short time.  Sheesh, was I just naïve or stupid?  
Well, it just goes to show you can never take anything for granted.

Table of Contents
=================
   Chapter 1 – A Confession to My Readers
   Chapter 2 – Clueless
   Chapter 3 – Stunned
   Chapter 4 – Going Forward
   Chapter 5 – Unanswered Questions


Chapter 1 – A Confession to My Readers
======================================

If there is one question I get asked more than any other, it’s “Are your 
diary stories true?” My answer is always a qualified “yes”.  The 
“qualified” part is because while the plots and overall scenarios are 
factual, I have always openly admitted to making a few modifications to 
maintain the privacy of everyone involved – especially me.  Certainly it 
can be no surprise to anyone that I change the names but there are also 
lots of little things I have to change that people might not realize 
which could might aid someone with devious motives.

First, I obviously don't post an entry about every date, party, or event 
I am involved in.  My “diary” is actually a selection of stories which I 
see as the “highlights” of my life.  Not all of them are necessarily 
“good times”.  In the end, I write about the times that made me who I am 
today.  With that in mind, does it really matter what hair color someone 
has, how tall they are, or even exactly how old they are?  Does it matter 
to the story which restaurant or movie theater I really go to, or even 
what school?  Is the exact date crucial to the meaning of the story?

There’s no way I can include EVERY detail or I’d be writing novels.  Does 
the dialogue have to be exactly what was said?  The point is, none of 
these “minor” things have any bearing on what the overall story is about 
or what happened, so why should anyone care that I have changed them 
unless they are out to do me harm?  Thus I don't feel that by changing 
any of these minor things makes my Diary any less a reflection on my life 
for what it covers and I make no apologies.  Face it, unless you actually 
met, me, you would never know the difference anyway.

Now and then, however, there are things that I DO lie about or 
deliberately “embellish”, usually because they are every sensitive 
subjects or could be taken the wrong way.  I’m not necessarily proud when 
I have to resort to this, but it’s my web site and I set the rules!  This 
doesn't happen often and I consider it a last resort.

Perhaps one of the biggest events in my life that I’ve been blatantly 
dishonest about in my diary has to do with my parent’s marriage.  While 
they indeed had a long, and for the most part good marriage, it’s 
certainly had its ups and downs just like any other – maybe even more.  I 
have always loved my mom and dad dearly so I plead guilty to presenting 
their marriage a little more positively than it is really was out of 
respect for them.  Well, a LOT more positively if I am being honest now.  

What I am leading up to is that when I say my parents’ marriage WAS good, 
it’s in past tense not because my mother died a year and a half ago.  
Sure, that is what I have said in my diary but the real reason is because 
they got divorced.  Frankly, I was totally blindsided when they told me.  
Of course I knew there were issues between them; I heard them fighting 
when they thought I wasn't listening although for the most part I didn't 
know why.  Still, all marriages have their rough moments and I never 
dreamed they would actually ever go so far as to split up.

My parents’ break-up was a tremendous blow to me which is why my web site 
went off-line for a few months while I tried to sort my life out.  My 
first reaction was to just drop the whole website thing altogether.  I 
mean, after all I’d said for years about how wonderful my parents’ 
marriage was, how could I explain why they were now divorced?  With my 
mom out of my life, having moved to the west coast near where her best 
friend lives, how would I address her in any future stories without 
mentioning the divorce?

After thinking and praying about it long and hard, I came up with the 
idea that I would say she died in a car crash and thus nobody would 
wonder why I never mentioned her again.  Of course anybody trying to find 
a newspaper account or police record of such a crash during that time 
period would realize it was a fake story, but I didn't think too many 
people would be THAT driven into looking into my private life and even if 
they did question me, I could always just ignore them.

To minimize the questions, I avoided making an “announcement” or anything 
big about her “death” on my site.  Another reason for minimizing the 
“death” scenario was I wanted to avoid becoming like so many of the 
crappy stories on the Internet that start with a parent’s death which 
leads to sexual relations between family members.  It helped that I’d 
never said a lot about my mom on my website before so it wasn't that big 
a stretch to stop mentioning her completely.

Although a few people mentioned it to me later, all I had to do was say I 
didn't want to talk about it and they dropped it.  Now, over a year 
later, it rarely gets any attention.  In the end, my mom is out of my 
life one way or the other so did it really matter why?  Ironically, I 
think it would have been easier if she HAD died.

I’m sure anyone reading this is wondering why did my parents divorced 
after all the wonderful things I have been saying over the years about 
their marriage.  Until just recently, I really didn't know all the facts.  
Oh sure they gave me the usual “incompatible” rationalizations, but I 
always felt in my heart they weren’t telling me the entire truth.  The 
fact that mom has not contacted me since she walked out tells me there 
were some major issues which nobody wants to discuss with me.  Still, if 
both parties refuse to discuss it, then how was I suppose to find out the 
truth?  Well, until now I didn’t.

So why am I confessing this all now?  It’s been a year and a half and 
everyone has bought the “mom killed in a car wreck” story so why rock the 
boat?  Well, this entry is about recent events that were VERY important 
to me, events that will profoundly change my life and I felt it was 
important that people understand why things will be different for me in 
the future.

The problem I faced was choosing to either completely fudge things about 
my mom and her role, or fess up about the real reason she “died” and thus 
tell this story more truthfully and completely.  In the end, I chose the 
latter if for no other reason than it makes it a lot easier to write!  
I’ve always said that reality was easier to write about than fantasy.  
Trying to twist the events I am about to write about to fit the death 
scenario would have been difficult if not downright impossible.

A final word on this subject... 

I hope that the people who read my site and have been so supportive of me 
over the years will understand my motives and forgive me for lying to 
them about my mother’s “death”.  In my heart I never intended to deceive 
anyone any more than absolutely necessary, hence the usual “I don’t want 
to discuss it” response when people would ask me about my mom’s “death”.  
Until now it really didn't matter all that much whether she was killed or 
not as since after the divorce she has been dead to me, maybe not in body 
but in spirit.  Thus had not the recent events occurred, odds are I 
would’ve never said another word about it.

For better or worse, things HAVE changed a LOT recently so I just wanted 
to clear this up before I continued.  Be forewarned that as I write this 
I will be referring to my mom as she REALLY was, so don't be confused if 
it conflicts with past entries as I am not going to go back and change 
them.


Chapter 2 – Clueless
====================

This past weekend was quite a time for me.  It all started when I 
innocently called my Aunt Linda to discuss the upcoming Valentine’s Day.  
As always, I was brimming with excitement as to what my dad might be 
getting me this year.  My boyfriend Randy had already sent me the 
standard-issue bouquet of flowers and I assumed a card would soon follow, 
maybe with luck a box of Godiva chocolate (if he could take a hint).  I 
wasn't all that worried about randy anyway since he’s not the overly 
romantic type to start with, plus we aren’t exactly THAT close, at least 
in terms of any long-term relationship.  My dad, though, was a different 
story.  He’s always doted on me for Valentine’s Day, even more than 
Christmas some years.  I still remember that sexy lingerie outfit he 
bought me a couple of years ago.  Did it REALLY come without panties or 
did he “accidentally” leave them out?  LOL

My aunt started to say something to me but then there was a long pause on 
the phone as if she was considering carefully what she was going to say.  
Even after all that she would only tell me was that I needed to talk to 
my dad – and soon.  When I tried to press her she refused to say anything 
more than, “I think maybe it’s time you were finally were told a few 
things.”

Well, you can imagine how well THAT went over with me so I promptly 
called my dad and asked him point blank what the heck my aunt was talking 
about.  My first sense that something was indeed amiss was when he seemed 
more surprised that my aunt had SAID such a thing than WHAT she had said.  
Then he too acted all dark and mysterious, asking me if I could stop over 
later in the evening to “talk”.  THAT got my attention as usually when my 
dad wanted me to come over later in the evening it wasn’t to talk!

For the rest of the day I was totally distracted as all I could think 
about was what in the world they could be talking about.  Something kept 
telling me that they were going to announce that they were getting 
married.  When they’d first started seeing more of each other after the 
divorce had settled down, I assumed that it was just the two of them 
enjoying each other’s company again – in a variety of ways with sex, of 
course, being the primary motivator.  My dad has always had a special 
thing about sex with my aunt so that certainly wasn't surprising.  When 
my aunt eventually moved in with my dad, they assured me that it was just 
for convenience sake.  Yeah, I knew exactly what “convenience” they were 
wanting!  But hey, I wasn't arguing as it let me move out of my apartment 
and save on rent money.

Still, for some reason I’ve never been able to picture them getting 
married but then I may have missed the signals.  Looking back, I guess 
they never actually came right and SAID they weren't ever going to do 
anything more than just live together.  Maybe I had just assumed it based 
on their comments and behaviors.  Then there was the whole divorce thing.  
I could never imagine my dad ever getting married to another woman after 
what happened with my mother, and especially not to her sister, 
regardless of the sex.

Also standing in the way of any marriage plans was the issue of our 
extended families, most of who were still in a state of shock over my dad 
and my aunt living together.  I could only imagine the tongue wagging if 
they announced they were getting married.  It would have been bad enough 
had the “other woman” moved in with him after my mom left, but when that 
woman was her own sister... well I shouldn't have to draw a picture for 
you to know what people were saying about them as it was.  And then to 
get married on top of it all?  No way.

Sometimes I amaze myself at how clueless I can be, especially when it 
comes to reading my own father.  I don't know if my judgment is clouded 
because he’s my father and I have these preconceived notions of how I 
THINK he should react and behave, or maybe something else.  Whatever it 
is, all through my life there have been so many times when I was sure 
about something regarding him, only to find out later I was completely 
off base.  Usually it had to do with what he wanted for Christmas or 
something as inane, never anything TOO serious.  This time it was 
starting to look like I’d missed something much more serious.

One of the earliest of those “clueless” times was back when I was only 
eight years old.  I’ve written about all this before in “My Thoughts 
About Masturbation” so I won’t repeat all the gory details here.  
Essentially I was with both of my parents in our hot tub after my mom had 
caught me watching my dad masturbate.  My mom has always maintained that 
her sole intent was to teach me about male masturbation and what better 
way than to let me help him do it in a controlled environment? 

I can distinctly remember to this very day how fascinated I was when my 
dad’s cock started to grow, becoming erect as I held it, and then how 
much he enjoyed it when she told me to rub it with my hands.  I’d seen 
him cum before when he masturbated but it still caught me completely by 
surprise when without any warning he suddenly started shooting it all 
over me and into the water.  Nothing went in my mouth or anything so my 
mom just washed it off my face and chest without making a fuss over it.

After he’d cum, my dad held my head and he started pulling it closer to 
him but my mom became upset when he did that and told him to stop.  Of 
course at the time I had no idea that what she wanted him to stop doing 
was me sucking his dick!  My mom certainly figured it out quick enough 
though!  Well, because of her intervention it would be another eight 
years before I ever held my dad’s cock again, and then it was only 
because I initiated it.  This was a perfect example of how I had no idea 
what my dad’s true desires were for me when it should have been obvious.  
Even though I was eight years old, I would think a girl’s natural 
instincts would have taken over and I would have done just fine.  Oh wee, 
just a perfect example of me being clueless even when I was younger.

Of course, I don't blame myself for being eight years old and not 
realizing what my dad really wanted, but that doesn’t excuse me for 
missing all the hints and signals he sent my way as I got older, 
especially when I turned fourteen and started having sex and giving all 
the boys at school and church blowjobs.  It sort of turned me on that my 
mom and dad liked to hear about my dates, especially the sex parts.  
While I knew my dad would usually get an erection when I described what 
I’d done, I just figured it was a natural male reaction to a sexual 
situation – not anything to do with me personally.  In other words I was 
clueless.

Perhaps had I grown up in a more “typical” family where sex talk was 
taboo and masturbation something that was hidden and NEVER discussed, 
maybe then I would have realized sooner what my dad really wanted from 
me.  Instead, I was raised in relatively conservative environment where 
while nudity was acceptable, it still had to be under the proper 
conditions such as bathing, dressing, or like when we were in the hot 
tub.  Running around stark naked was NOT allowed.  My mom always insisted 
that I wear SOMETHING to learn at least a little modesty.  The lessons 
became so engrained as I grew up that to this day I don't even run around 
nude in my own place.

In a similar manner, masturbation was something I was taught at an early 
age as being a normal thing that people did when they felt the need – no 
different that scratching an itch.  Although I didn’t start seriously 
masturbating until I was eleven, I often saw my parents doing it, 
especially my dad, before then.  It wasn't just when he watched porn but 
even just regular TV shows (Amanda Tapping on StarGate SG1 has always 
been one of his favorites) would get him hard and make him have to take 
care of his needs then and there in his chair.  It’s not like he whipped 
it out and made a big deal of it or said anything – he just did it.  If I 
happened to be there then I saw him, if not I didn’t – simple as that.

So in such a casual setting, can I really be blamed for not realizing 
that there were times when my dad was masturbating because of ME?  While 
I didn't lounge around the house naked, I didn’t exactly overdress, 
especially during the evenings.  My favorite outfit when I got into my 
teens was one of his dress shirts or sometimes just a t-shirt.  Since I 
was a little girl I’ve always had an issue with panties and so I seldom 
wore them - and in the evening I NEVER wore them at all.

Thus at times when I was laying on the couch or doing things around the 
house, I’m sure my bare ass was on display but I didn't give it a second 
thought since I was taught that it wasn't anything to be ashamed of.  
Besides, it’s not like I wiggled it suggestively for him or anything 
naughty like that unless we were joking around.  So was my dad 
masturbating because my t-shirt had ridden up or because of what was on 
TV?  At the time I never even considered it could be anything but the TV.  
In other words I was clueless.

Yet another example of my being naïve as a teen regarding my dad was when 
I started dating boys and bringing them home for sex.  My parents told me 
from the beginning that they would rather I bring them home than do it in 
the backseat of a car or some other place where we might be caught or not 
be safe.  Of course my boyfriends had no idea I had my parents’ 
permission to have sex in my bedroom so they usually were a little 
nervous at first doing me while my parents were downstairs, but that 
quickly disappeared once we started doing it.  They would’ve REALLY 
freaked if they’d known my dad often watched us by spying through the 
crack in the bedroom door I always made sure was there.

At the time he told me it was to make sure I was safe and I actually DID 
feel much more secure knowing my dad was nearby in case something got out 
of hand.  The idea that he might be just as interested in seeing two 
teenagers having sex as he was in my security never crossed my mind!  
Still, why would it?  It was just sex and my dad had a HUGE porn 
collection so why would I think he needed to get off watching me?  Yeah, 
I know it sounds stupid, but I believed him.  He WAS my dad after all so 
why would I think he wanted to have sex with me?  In other words, I was 
totally clueless.

It wasn’t just his thoughts about sex with me that I misunderstood as a 
teenager.  Somehow I totally misread his desires and relationships with 
other women.  My parents taught me from the beginning that adultery was a 
mortal sin, the absolute worst thing a husband or wife could do to their 
spouse.  They assured me that they’d always been faithful to one another 
since they were married and always would be – no swapping or anything 
like that.  As it turned out, they weren't lying about the results, but 
there was a lot more I didn’t know when it came to unmet desires and the 
resulting frustrations.

Before I started having sex with them myself, I had absolutely no idea 
that my mom had an incestuous upbringing along with her sister.  It 
wasn't just THEIR dad that wanted both sisters, later it would be MY dad 
as well.  If there was one thing about my dad’s sexual needs that I 
failed to realize before it was too late, it was how he much he craved 
sex with my mom’s younger sister.  My mom had told me early on that my 
dad had dated both sisters in high school.  When I was old enough to 
understand, she even confessed they both had sex with him as well.  Yet 
somehow it never crossed my mind that my dad and her sister might have 
continued doing anything after everyone was married.

Along the same lines, I was always told my aunt had to get a divorced 
because she and her husband didn't get along.  It wasn’t until I got 
involved with incest that I was informed of the real reason the split –
her insistence on continuing to enjoy sex with her brother-in-law.  While 
technically it should have been OK for them to have sex since it was just 
incest, that doesn't mean the left-out spouse was necessarily on board.  
As it turned out, Aunt Linda’s husband bailed early while my mom lived 
with it for over 25 years before she got fed up as well.

Soooooo... when I was younger and my aunt would stop by and she and my 
dad would disappear for a while, I was told he was just helping her out 
with her finances or some legal issues regarding her realty business.  It 
wasn’t until my dad started having sex with me that my mom told me what 
they REALLY did upstairs!

OK, so once again I must appear to be a little dimwitted but put yourself 
in my shoes.  Would YOU think YOUR aunt was fucking your dad, regardless 
of how many times they were alone together?  (Of course, the fact his 
study was on the first floor and the bedroom was on the second should 
have been a red flag but only if you know to look for it.) I had no 
reason at all to suspect anything so I didn’t.  In other words, I was 
clueless.

It wasn't just my aunt that my dad was fucked besides my mom without me 
knowing.  Once I left for college my dad started having sex with my 
younger cousin Kristi.  She was sixteen at the time, the same age I’d 
been back when he started with me.  Kristi had started having sex years 
before so it wasn’t like he took her virginity or anything remotely 
close.  To be blunt, he used her to fulfilled his need for teenage pussy 
which until I left for home, he got from me.  Well, clueless Kelly went 
an entire school year without ever suspecting a thing, not even during 
the breaks and visits back home when they would do it right literally 
right behind my back at times.  In all fairness, why SHOULD I have 
suspected anything?  Why would I think my dad was fucking my cousin?  
Still, all excuses aside, I totally missed what should have been obvious 
to me.  In other words, I was clueless.

It wasn't until the following summer that I was told what was going on 
between my dad and Kristi, and even then they had to do it right in front 
of me before I fully comprehended it.  Seriously though, how many girls 
would NOT be surprised to find out their father was fucking their younger 
cousin?  It was yet another case where I failed to grasp the true needs 
and desires my dad had within him – and the lengths to which he was 
willing to go to satisfy them.  Yet another case where I was clueless.

Of course, my dad fucking my aunt and cousin wasn't morally wrong – it 
was only incest after all and thus not adultery.  If he wanted to fuck 
them, he had the right to do so and as the de facto head of my aunt’s 
family now that she was divorced, they technically had an obligation to 
submit to him – as if that was ever an issue!  It was just the fact that 
I failed to see the blatant signals and realize what was going on right 
in front of me over long periods of time that goes to show how I don't 
always understand my own father.  Yes, I was clueless.

It wasn’t just family girls that my dad fucked.  I can’t express my 
surprise when he fucked my best friend Beth and my mom’s best friend 
Tammy.  As I said, fucking his sister-in-law and niece was morally OK 
since that was incest which is NOT adultery.  However, sex with Beth and 
Tammy was another thing entirely since they were not members of our 
family and thus it WAS adultery.

Sure it was crazy erotic and super-hot at the time, but it made me more 
than a little uncomfortable afterwards given how much my parents had 
always preached about the sins of adultery.  They rationalized his 
behavior it to me at the time by saying that as best friends for so many 
years, Beth and Tammy were virtually part of our family but still, it WAS 
a pretty thin rationalization.  The fact I accepted it without realizing 
the full implications just goes to show how clueless I could be, even 
when I was in my late teens and supposedly so smart and sophisticated.

Take it from me, it’s pretty hard to admit being clueless about so many 
things.  Still, none of this was anything at all of the magnitude of the 
things I was even more clueless about, things I was about to find out for 
the first time in my life.  As I was sitting on my bed, waiting to go 
over to my dad’s house and find out what this mystery was all about, you 
would think I might have figured some of these BIG things out for myself.  
Looking back now as I write this, it was all there, a simple puzzle just 
waiting for me to put the pieces together.

Somehow I was so blinded by my own beliefs and so assured of my 
relationship with my father that all I could think about was what was 
happening between him and my aunt.  That it could have anything to do 
with me or my mom never once entered my train of thought.  Then again, I 
don’t blame myself TOO badly.  After all, why would I have ever imagined 
that I might have been wrong about so many things that I considered to be 
the bedrock of my life?  

Is it really my fault I’m so clueless at times?  Maybe it was not so much 
because I was clueless but that I was too trusting?  THAT scares me more 
than anything.


Chapter 3 – Stunned
===================

When I arrived at my dad’s house, I noticed my aunt’s car was gone which 
meant it would be just me and my dad.  Well, that sort of surprised me 
since I would have thought any announcement such as what I was expecting 
would’ve been made by the two of them together.  Then again, maybe he 
wanted to break the news to me by himself, knowing I would probably be 
pretty emotional when he did.

Taking a deep breath, I went in through the garage door entrance and into 
the family room in the basement where I figured he would be.  Normally my 
dad was one in one three rooms – the bedroom, his study, or the family 
room.  Under different conditions, it wouldn’t have surprised me if he 
had been in the bedroom, waiting for me so we could get right to it as 
quickly as possible.  At least for the start of tonight, I didn’t think 
sex was his primary need and since the only time he was usually in his 
study was for work, that left the family room.  Sure enough, there he was 
with the TV blaring, slouched back in his favorite recliner in sweats 
like he was ready to go work out.

“Hey Dad!” I greeted him, taking off my winter coat and hanging it over 
the back of one of the chairs. 

With the cold and snowy weather I was in boots, jeans and a heavy 
sweatshirt, not exactly my sexiest outfit to be sure but with the crappy 
weather we’d been having, a necessity.  In any case, there wasn't 
anything underneath – top or bottom, just in case he should need any 
“help” from me later it wouldn't take much to get myself prepared for 
him.  I’d learned long ago when it came to my dad, better to be prepared 
for anything!  Nine times out of ten (at least), “anything” meant 
something to do with taking my clothes off.

“Kelly!” he returned with a smile on his face.

He patted his lap and I knew what he wanted so I sat sideways on his lap 
with my legs hanging over the arm, leaning in to him with my inner arm 
around his neck.

Without another word we kissed and he hugged me close with one arm while 
his free hand quickly made its way between my legs and pressed in against 
my denim- covered crotch.  Hmmm, maybe I’d misunderstood the situation 
and he was just horny for me after all.  Granted I wasn't sixteen anymore 
but still, at 24 I was almost half the age of my aunt and I knew while my 
dad LOVED fucking my aunt, he also liked younger girls which is when he 
would use me and my cousin whenever he got the “itch”.  Of course, as his 
daughter I knew it was more than just satisfying his lust, but he WAS a 
man and men have needs and if I could satisfy my dad’s, I was more than 
happy to do so whenever he needed me.  If there is one thing I pride 
myself on, it’s having NEVER said ‘no” to my dad, at least when it came 
to sex.

As it turned out, having sex with me wasn't his intention – at least not 
yet.  Although he held his hand firmly tucked in between my thighs, he 
stopped pressing his finger into my crotch and leaned back as we broke 
our kiss.

“We need to talk Kelly.”

Oh boy, THAT was never a good omen.  Any time growing up when he would 
start out a conversation with those words I knew something was NOT going 
to be good.  It might have been when I spent too much on one of his 
credit cards.  Other times, especially when I was younger, it might have 
been about how I dressed or behaved “inappropriately” in public – or at 
least worse than usual.  Maybe the worst time he uttered those words was 
when he and my mom announced their divorce.  Most recently had been when 
he told me that my aunt would be moving in with him, although that hadn’t 
turned out so bad because it let me move in with my cousin and stop 
paying rent.

“Yes daddy????” I said softly with a hint of a smile, preparing myself 
for what I was still sure was going to be a wedding announcement.

He hesitated, the way he always did when he had something to tell me that 
he knew I was going to have a hard time understanding.

“Well... it has to do with your Aunt Linda...”

Yep, I knew it... here it comes!  I was about to blurt out that I’d 
already figured out what he was going to say when he said something else 
that stopped me in my tracks.”

“...and I guess it’s time I was honest with you about a few things as 
well.”

Oops, now THAT didn't sound like a precursor to a wedding announcement.  
From the pained look on his face I knew instantly that it definitely was 
NOT about an engagement.  He might be worried that I wouldn't understand 
him marrying my aunt, but he wouldn't look like it as hurting HIM so 
badly to tell me about it.

“Kelly, before that I need you to understand more about the relationship 
I have with your Aunt Linda – and what I had with your mom and her as 
well.”

My mind was racing as what usually happens when it does, I was getting 
totally confused.  OK, so what did he mean by “before that”?  Before 
what?  Why bring up my mom now?

“Kelly, you know I loved your mother and I never meant to do anything to 
hurt her.”

Yeah right.  So what good was it if it led to a divorce?  Still, I kept 
my mouth shut and let him continue.

“I know we haven’t discussed the divorce much since your mom left.”

Like duh!  Still, I just nodded, wondering if he was going to finally 
open up about things with me.  I’d long given up that he would ever tell 
me the full story so maybe for some reason he finally was going to spill 
it.

“I suppose by now you’ve probably figured out that your mom and I split 
because of something to do with your Aunt Linda.”

Actually, while I may have wondered about it at times, I really did NOT 
have any strong feelings that she was the reason for my parents’ divorce.  
Why would I think such a thing anyway?  My parents believed whole-
heartedly in the concept of incest and so it was OK with my mom for her 
husband to have sex with her sister if for no other reason than she had 
to be since Aunt Linda was family.  However, outside of the family he 
wasn't allowed to be with other women because that would be adultery.  I 
guess had I never started sex with my dad that I never would have known 
about him and my Aunt Linda.  Still, my mom had never given the slightest 
hint that she was jealous or upset with the amount of sex my dad had with 
her younger sister which is why I never seriously considered it a reason 
for their divorce.

“I know you’re familiar with how your grandfather took your mom and her 
sister’s virginities and even a little bit how it wasn't entirely 
consensual at the time.  After all, your aunt WAS only twelve at the 
time.  However, I’m not so sure you fully realize that despite what you 
may have been told, it never DID become 100% consensual.  I hate to say 
this, but your grandfather abused them both, even if nobody wants to 
admit it.  Even your mom has a hard time discussing it which is why she 
prefers the more pleasant version she told you.  It’s the real reason why 
your grandmother never got involved and why to this day she still doesn't 
like to talk about it.”

“But dad, if that’s the case then why did mom always claim that she was 
so happy that I finally had the same relationship with you that she had 
with her dad?”

My dad just stared at me, as if he was expecting me to provide the 
answer.  Seeing I wasn’t quite getting it yet, he added, “Think about it 
Kelly... I know what she SAID but did she really?  Think about how she 
acted when you were younger, the restrictions she imposed on me and how 
overly protective she was of you, especially when it came to me.”

I just sat there in silence, mulling this all in my head.  Then suddenly, 
it was like the proverbial light bulb turned on over my head.  Was this 
why my mother had insisted that if anything happen between my dad and me 
that I had to be the one to initiate it?  I’d always figured it had 
something to do with her first time with her dad which I knew wasn't the 
best, but still I never suspected she had THIS strong of a reaction to 
it.  :Like, what would have happened if I had never initiated anything?  
Until now, I’d assumed that sooner or later she would’ve stepped in as I 
got older, perhaps discussing it with me or otherwise helping me to make 
a decision.  Ultimately, I’d always assumed that my mother WANTED me to 
have an incestual relationship with my father, but she wanted me to be 
the one to get it started.  Was I wrong?  It didn't seem possible.

“So dad... are you trying to tell me that mom didn't really believe in 
incest?” 

The disbelief was thick in my voice.  This was impossible.  No way.  Not 
after all these years and having seen so much.  With mom g9one my dad 
could make up anything so what was he trying to accomplish with all this?

“That’s a complicated question Kelly, and I really don't mean to sound 
evasive.  Although she felt it was not a sinful act, so long as it was 
true incest, let’s just say I don't think she would have been overly 
upset had you and I never done it”

Wow, talk about a body blow!  Still, those things HAD happened so it 
wasn't making any sense to me.  If she was really against incest, she 
sure had a funny way of showing it!

“But what about you and Aunt Linda?” I asked, deflecting the issue for 
the moment about me and him, “I thought mom was OK with you fucking her 
after you and mom got married?”

This time my dad really looked uncomfortable, as if this was something he 
had been hoping to avoid but now that he had opened Pandora’s box, there 
was no stopping.

“Truth be told Kelly, I was about to ask Linda to marry me.  In the end I 
decided that I loved your mother more in other ways but god, the sex with 
Linda was amazing – and it still is.  She’s so much more open about 
things and we had some crazy times together when we dated, doing things 
your mother would never do with me – even after we got married.  
Ultimately I ended up making a deal with your mom – I’d marry her so long 
as I could keep having fun with Linda, no strings attached.”

My eyes narrowed as the full import of what he was saying struck home.  
“So you’re telling me that the fact it was incest to have sex with Aunt 
Linda was not really why mom was OK with it?  What if they hadn’t been 
sisters but girlfriends instead?  Would you have kept fucking her after 
you married mom?  Even if it was adultery instead of incest?”

My dad shrugged.  “What can I say Kelly?  I like to think it was God’s 
plan to have it work out this way.  Since Linda was her sister, so long 
as your mom could rationalize it using incest there was nothing ‘illegal’ 
about it and so everyone was happy, at least mostly.”

“But dad, was mom really happy?  Sounds to me like she was sort of forced 
into agreeing with everything.  Would you really have not married her if 
she didn't go along with this?”

“Look Kelly, don't look at this as something bad or coercive.  Really, 
your mother and I truly had a wonderful marriage.  We loved each other 
very much and I like to think we still do.  Still, just like your 
grandfather, I have needs and your mom has always known her sister was 
better at satisfying those needs than she was so rather than worrying 
about us doing anything behind her back, she simply went along with it.”

This was the first time my dad had ever said anything about being like my 
grandfather, at least when it came to his sexual addictions and 
gratification.  Slowly things began to fall in place... pieces of the 
puzzle that had been laying all around me for years yet I never saw the 
big picture enough to put them together.

“So Beth and Tammy... did mom really think it was OK when you fucked 
them?”

The pained look on my dad’s face told me everything but he still answered 
me saying, “Well, after I did Beth we had one of the worst arguments we’d 
ever had.  We waited until you were out so you wouldn't know but we 
almost split up back then over it.  Fucking her sister was at least 
incest so even if it didn't exactly thrill her, at least it wasn't 
adultery.  Doing Beth was just me allowing my lust get the better of me 
and we both knew it.  It was pure adultery and even though we tried to 
rationalize it for you, she never was really OK with it.  Still, once the 
ice was broken, so to speak, she didn't say much the next time I did Beth 
or – or her friend either for that matter.”

That all made sense.  I never did get the impression that my mom was all 
that thrilled about those times.  Still, she had tried to make it sound 
like she was OK with it in the end, at least enough to convince me but 
then maybe it was because I WANTED to be convinced.

“So what about Tammy and Kristi?” I asked about my younger cousins, “How 
did she feel about them.  She seemed pretty thrilled when you did Tammy 
the first time.”

Indeed, my youngest cousin Tammy was only fourteen when my dad took her 
virginity – with the help of me and my mom.  At the time my mother did 
indeed seem quite excited about, so much so that I simply couldn’t 
believe now that she was faking it back then.

“That was entirely different Kelly, it was incest and while your mom may 
not have approved of it, she at least understood it and realized it was 
her duty as a wife to submit to my needs so long as it wasn't adultery.  
Your mother has always known my feelings about young girls and she knew 
it would make me happy to fuck someone as young as Tammy.  Plus, she WAS 
my niece so she went along with it.  Kristi was a little different but 
then you were gone and she knew I was missing your teenage pussy so it 
seemed only natural for me to do Kristi while you were away.  Linda 
certainly had no problems with it and I suppose I don't need to say 
anything about Kristi,” he finished with a bit of a laugh.

I couldn’t help but grin myself.  When it came to sex and Kristi there 
were no surprises there, that was for sure.

Still, I wasn't totally convinced.  Not by a long shot.  This was all 
pretty crazy and there were still too many unanswered questions.

“Yeah but what about Rick?  That had nothing to do with you; it was all 
her.  If she was so against incest then why did she like fucking him so 
much?  And don't even try to tell me it was to please you.  She LOVED 
having sex with him.”

“Oh come on Kelly, do I need to spell everything out?” my dad whined but 
then he continued anyway.  “You know the answer – he was a young stud 
with a big dick, available, “legal” and she enjoyed being a MILF for him.  
That was all it ever was, pure and simple.”

Well, my mom had often told me the same things herself but under the 
conditions today, I just wanted to be sure.  Still, all this left one 
question in my mind... the BIGGEST question of them all.  The scariest 
question by far.

“So why do you fuck me daddy?” I said in a soft voice, so low he had to 
ask me to repeat myself.

It was a question I didn't WANT to ask but one I felt I HAD to ask.  Deep 
down, I knew that this question was the real reason he had asked me over 
and all this up until now had just been leading up to it.

“C’mon Kelly!  You know why.”

“I want you to tell me daddy... tell me why you REALLY want to fuck me.”

“Because I love you Kelly.”

“I know you do daddy, but you don't have to fuck me to love me,” I 
replied sharply, “Isn’t that what you’ve always told me?  So why do you 
fuck me?  Why did you want me so bad when I was younger when you already 
had my mom and Aunt Linda?”

My dad shrugged his shoulders and sighed.  “Because I needed it.  I 
needed YOU.”

He said it so softly I wasn't sure I heard him right at first but from 
the stricken look on his face I knew what he said without even hearing 
the words.  It was more a confession than a statement.  There was more to 
it than that though... he said he “needed” it using past tense.

“Exactly what do you mean by that daddy?”

“God Kelly, are you really gonna make me say this?” he pleaded but I sat 
there waiting for him to continue.  “Think about it.  You were so young, 
so beautiful, so incredibly innocent yet so sexy and such an unbelievably 
hot little slut... I just had to have you,” he whispered as if he was 
hoping I couldn’t hear him.

But I did.

Even now, as tense an atmosphere as it was, he couldn't hide the thick 
lust in his voice for me.  Yet now I recognized it for what it really was 
– pure lust, the lust of an older man for a younger girl.  Of course I 
still believed he loved me, but now I knew that I had things more than a 
little mixed up.  I’ve always said he fucked me BECAUSE he loved me.  
Yeah right.  The truth was he loved me, but he fucked me because he 
COULD.  My dad fucked me because he wanted to feel his hard dick in the 
tight pussy of a teenage girl once again, because he wanted the thrill of 
being with a girl less than half his age.  He couldn't go out and just do 
any girl, my mom would never allow it.  However, he DID have a daughter, 
one that I now was starting to understand that he’d apparently groomed 
for years for just this purpose – to pleasure him.

Looking back there were plenty of clues had I chosen to recognize them – 
the over-protectiveness she showed when I first stroked my dad’s dick, 
the insistence that I be the one to initiate incest, her obsession with 
adultery (which I know understood to be more concern over my dad’s 
inability to control his desires than anything biblical), the deliberate 
detachment when he fucked my best friend, the motherly concern she showed 
for my cousin Tammy when he took her virginity at age fourteen, the 
general lack of desire to join in with my dad and me, not to mention so 
many other small things that I failed to notice at the time.

“So if that’s true, then why didn’t you fuck me sooner?  I always thought 
it was because you wanted me to be the one to want it first.  I always 
assumed that if I had never asked then you never would have done me.”

“Well, that’s mostly true... it was your mom really.  She said she call 
the police and kick me out of the house if I ever touched you before you 
were ready – and that was when YOU said you were ready, not me.  God 
Kelly, I did everything to try to get you interested.  You’re smart as 
hell and being such a slut, it’s hard for me to understand sometimes how 
you can be so naïve when it comes to what guys want.”

“So all the masturbating... the porn movies... watching me have sex... 
making me tell you about my dates... all that was to try to get me to let 
you fuck me?”

It was like something snapped in him then, as if he couldn't contain his 
frustration with me anymore.  His face darkened and his voice raised more 
than a few decibels.  

“C’mon Kelly, you’re not THAT dumb so quit acting like it.  Why the hell 
do you think I made your mom let me fuck her that night in the hot tub 
when we knew you’d be watching from your bedroom?  You were driving me 
crazy so I had to do SOMETHING to give you a nudge.”

I just sat there in a daze, unable to absorb anymore.  I knew he was 
waiting for me to say something but the words wouldn't come out.  My mind 
was blank, there was nothing for me to say.

“Kelly, don't take this all wrong.  You know I love you more than 
anything.  Look in the mirror for god’s sake.  You can’t blame me for 
craving you.  Get real, you ran around the house half naked all the time, 
played with yourself CONSTANTLY without caring who was watching, fucked 
anything with a dick and yet you can’t understand why I would want you 
for myself?”

With that his hand moved tighter into my crotch again, his finger pushing 
into my pussy hole as best he could with the jeans in the way.  His other 
arm around me moved so he was cradling my braless breast in his hands.  I 
felt him wiggle under me, trying to maneuver his hardening dick under me.  
God, after all this he was horny and wanted to fuck me!  Unbelievable!

Ignoring his groping hands, I had to finish what we started.  I had to 
know it all, the entire truth.

“So what’s up now then?  What’s with you and Aunt Linda?  Are you getting 
married?”

He seemed genuinely surprised at that; shocked even.  “WHAT?  Where the 
hell did you come up with that one?  Hell no, we’ll never get married.  
Why would we want to do THAT?  The only reason I ever would’ve married 
her in the first place was for the sex and I get all I want now as it 
is.”

“I don't know, I figured you were living together now and all.  Why not?”

“I guess I have to spell it out again then, don't I” he huffed.  “First, 
I really DO believe that adultery is wrong.  Yes, I know I’ve had some 
slips in the past but the ones you know of were the only ones.  To be 
honest, the biggest reason I don't want to marry Linda because I don’t 
want to deal with the whole adultery thing again.  I like the freedom of 
being single again.”

The magnitude of what he was saying sank in and I glared at him.  “So you 
just want to be able to fuck anyone at any time, is that it?”

“Well?” was all he said, shrugging his shoulders as if the answer was 
obvious.

“And what about Aunt Linda?”

That actually made him smirk a little bit when he replied, “Oh like she 
cares.  Hell, SHE is the one who wants to fool around the most.  Besides, 
how would she maintain her sales quota if she stopped fucking other men?”

Actually, the last part made more sense than anything I’d heard yet.  My 
aunt had quite a rep in the local realty industry for her willingness to 
do most anything to get a sale, even bringing in her own daughter is 
necessary, not to mention her niece a couple of times!  I wasn't so sure 
that the adultery “thing” was all that important to her, but you never 
know.

“So if you’re NOT getting married, why tell me all this today?  Why do 
this to me?”

This time he paused even longer than before but finally he drew a deep 
breath, let it out slowly, and said, “OK, so we aren’t getting married 
but there ARE things we want to do and I needed you to understand 
beforehand.”

Why bother?  What could he say now that could possibly top what he’d 
already told me?  Still, I was his daughter and needed to remain 
respectful so I kept silent and let him continue.

“Linda loves to party and she’s always been trying to get me to swing a 
little and do things with other couples and girls.  Well, now I can and 
so I wanted you to understand why before you heard about it.  We didn't 
want to have to hide and worry that you might drop in sometime when 
things were happening.”

Like how would I hear about it?  I didn't bother asking THAT.  There had 
to be more than this and he seemed to realize it from the expression on 
my face.

“OK Kelly, I guess I also need to confess something to you.  I get the 
feeling that you sometimes come over here because you think you are doing 
something to help me more than because it’s something YOU want to do.  I 
just wanted you to know that you don't need to feel that way and you 
don’t have to feel any obligations.  It’s not like I NEED you now for 
that anymore.”

My heart was practically pounding out of my chest.  What was he talking 
about?  What was he trying to say?  Didn't he want to fuck me anymore?  
Didn't he need me anymore?  Then it dawned on me... was I too OLD for 
him?  Anything was possible and I was seeing my dad in a while new light 
today.  I knew he loved fucking me and my cousins and that it didn't hurt 
that we were young, but now I realized he loved fucking us BECAUSE we 
were young.  All those porn movies and magazines started making sense.  
Damn, my dad was a pedophile!

“Now don’t take this wrong but your aunt has some friends who have 
younger daughters and lately we’ve been getting together and... well, you 
know what I mean.”

No... I did NOT know.  Oh sure, I knew essentially what he meant but 
there was a lot left unspoken.  If anything, my new hypothesis was 
verified one step further.

“And just how young are these daughters?” I said, unable to keep the 
accusation out of my tone.  I was sixteen when he did me and Tammy was 
only fourteen.  Still that was more a fluke of timing than anything else.  
What did he desire if he had a choice?  Memories of me giving him a hand-
job in the hot tub when I was eight suddenly flashed in front of me.  
What did he REALLY want back then?

“That’s not important, the point is for the first time in a long time I 
don't NEED you to satisfy those needs in me.  Of course, I’d love to 
still fuck my daughter now and then... you ARE one hot sexy girl after 
all.”

So now I was a consolation prize?  I looked at him in the eyes and 
stated, “So you’re telling me that you don't want to have sex with me.”

“Kelly, did you listen to what I just said?  Of course I do.  What man 
wouldn’t?  I’m just saying we can do it when you WANT to, not when you 
feel you HAVE to.”

With that he started groping me again, as if he wanted to prove to me he 
still wanted to have sex with me but I pushed his hands away and stood 
up.  If all I was to him was just a younger girl to fuck, then he could 
go find another one – and apparently he had some at his disposal.

“You know daddy, normally right now I would say, ‘fuck ME daddy’.  Not 
now though.  Now it’s fuck YOU daddy.”

With that I grabbed my coat and practically ran to my car without even 
putting it on, ignoring the biting cold and wind, and then drove home 
without looking back.


Chapter 4 – Going Forward
=========================

When I returned home I went straight to my room, brushing aside my 
inquisitive cousin who was practically bursting with curiosity as to what 
had happened.  Slamming the bedroom door behind me, I fell face first 
into my bed.  Suddenly it all came out and I burst into tears as I curled 
up into a tight ball, hugging my favorite stuffed bear tightly against my 
heaving chest.  It was like I was a little girl again and indeed, I felt 
like one.

Needless to say, the next morning I didn't go to church, nor did I go to 
my father’s house so he could fuck me as he usually did before church.  
It’s not that I didn’t enjoy it, plus it always felt naught to sit in the 
pews with his cum fresh in me, but I wasn’t even close to being ready for 
anything like that now, not after what I had learned the day before.  
Instead, I spent the morning in my own prayers, trying to decide what to 
do and what it all meant.  Here’s what I came up with in the end...

First and foremost, no matter what I love my dad just as much as ever and 
will continue to love him.  I really can't blame him for anything.  
Sexual addiction is a disease, not something a man can control.  Even 
though I realize now that my dad is a true sex addict, I respect him for 
having tamed most of his “needs” while I grew up out of love for my 
mother and me.  After all, he could have done what my grandfather had 
done with my mother and taken what was rightfully his.  Just as her 
mother did, I am sure my mother would have stood understood and so long 
as I wasn't harmed, not have interfered.  But unlike my grandfather, my 
dad loved me too much to do that – and he loved my mother too much to put 
her in such a predicament.  God, the willpower it must have taken for him 
to hold himself back, especially when I now realize how badly I teased 
him, even if it wasn't deliberate.

Since my dad has always claimed that he didn't have to fuck me to prove 
he loved me, maybe now he’ll have the chance to stand by that claim.  The 
main reason I gave myself to him was to satisfy his needs, even if I 
didn't fully understand until now what those needs were.  Sadly, it 
appears that I am no longer young enough to fully satisfy those needs.  
Still, I am his daughter and always will be.  I love him just as much as 
ever and even if we don't have sex again for a while – or ever, that is 
OK with me.

Second, I still fundamentally believe in incest.  It wasn't incest that 
brought all this about – it was sexual addiction.  My father is a sex 
addict and if anything, incest allowed him to control his urges for many 
years without committing adultery.  I always suspect my aunt is a sex 
addict as well, which helps to explain some of her actions over the years 
in raising her daughter.  The difference is that unlike my dad, she 
couldn't control herself while her daughter was younger.  Would Kristi 
have become a whore without her mother’s encouragement?  So many things 
for me to consider now?


Chapter 5 – Unanswered Questions
================================

Still, there are so many unanswered questions which I will never know the 
answers to until I meet my mother again, which may have to wait for 
heaven the way things are going now.

Even with all this out on the table, I still don't quite understand why 
my mother snapped.  From what I can tell, nothing was all that different.  
Was it just as simple as a case where it was the final straw that broke 
the camel’s back – nothing specific but just the continual buildup over 
the course of more than 25 years of dealing with your husband’s 
addiction?  If so, why cut off everything with her family, even me?  Did 
she feel it had to be that way to keep her from feeling guilty perhaps, 
maybe even allowing her submissive nature to return her to my father?

Another unanswered question for me is if she allowed my father to have 
sex with me because she knew it was something he had to do or else find 
someone else, then why did she love having sex with me so much?  I’ve 
always talked about how different sex was with my mother and dad.  With 
my dad, it was always father- daughter, nothing else even in role-
playing.  With my mom it was more like two lovers.  Was that because she 
wanted to have me not as her daughter but as another woman?  While my 
mother certainly wasn't straight, I’d never really seen any heavy 
influence towards women other than with me and her sister.  Was there 
more lesbianism within her than I realized?

Yet another question is left lingering.  My mom must have known since 
high school that my dad was a certifiable sex addict and pedophile so she 
had to realize that sooner or later he was going to have me - one way or 
another.  In fact, it was pretty amazing that he was able to wait until I 
was sixteen!  Given that was the case, then why didn’t she let him be 
more forward with me sooner?  Why put me in the decision-making position 
such that later I would feel guilty because I didn't give myself to my 
father first?  Why did she even bother stopping me from sucking his dick 
when I was younger?  Once I started having sex, why not let me know my 
dad wanted it too instead of making me feel foolish years later for not 
recognizing the hints he was giving me?  It seems the more I learn about 
my mom the more complex she becomes.

Then, although it’s pure curiosity and perhaps a bit of voyeurism, I’m 
dying to know more about the other people my dad and Aunt Linda have been 
seeing.  What was this about couple’s with younger daughters?  Would he 
ever let me know more about it?  Just how young WERE these girls?  It 
bothered me a little that he had been so coy about that question.  How 
long had this been going on without me knowing about it?  My cousin has 
since claimed to know nothing but there something in the twinkling of her 
eyes that told me she wasn’t telling me all that she knew.  Given her 
preoccupation with young boys, was she perhaps involved as well?  In the 
end, was he maybe just teasing me a little and “young” meant simply 
younger than him but at least eighteen years old?  Personally, I hope so 
for his sake.

In the end, I suppose the REAL question is the one I don't know to ask 
yet.  It’s like the line from some song, “I wish I didn't know now the 
things I didn't know then.” Still, once the genie is out of the bottle or 
Pandora’s Box is opened, things can never be the same again.  I was angry 
at my dad at first but now I more angry at myself than anything.  Perhaps 
“angry” is the wrong word.  “Disappointed” or “chagrined” are probably 
better choices in that I feel a little silly that all this was going on 
right in front of me and somehow I didn't recognize any of it.  Was it 
because I was that unsophisticated or maybe it was more that I didn't 
want to see it?

Whatever the reason, it really doesn't matter.  Life as I have known it 
will never be the same again.  I can only pray ask that God continue to 
guide me in my life and protect me from myself.

One last thing I want to say and that is no matter how I may have phrased 
things here or come across, I do NOT regret anything that I have done 
sexually with my father or family.  I still believe that incest has been 
a positive factor in my life and will continue to be, although I am not 
sure in what capacity.  Will I still have sex with my dad?  I am sure I 
will although I am just as sure that it will be less than in the past.  I 
have grown up a lot in the more than eight years since the first time I 
gave myself to my father and so has he.  It’s only natural that our 
relationship change with time and I see this as just one of those things 
that happens.

It just goes to show that none of us knows God’s plan for us.  We just 
have to live each day as it comes which is what I try to do, even if I 
don’t do as I say much of the time!  Frankly though, I could do without 
ever having another such “revelation”!

THE END