Subject: New Year Reflections and Resolutions
Story Codes: MF Mf Mg F-solo incest father daughter
Posted: December 30, 2013
Author: Kelly <pghpa_girl@yahoo.com>
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!!!WARNING!!!!
This file contains sexually explicit material which may include graphic
depictions of underage, nonconsensual and unprotected sex as well as
incest, adultery, sodomy and bestiality. It is distributed on a website
clearly identified as "For Adults Only". Possession by a minor is strictly
forbidden. If you are not legally empowered to be in possession of such
material, do not read it and delete it immediately.
This work is copyrighted 2016 to the author. It may be posted to non-
commercial "free" sites, or in the "free" area of commercial sites so long
as no changes are made to the content and the Author information is retained.
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Summary
=======
2013 was quite a year in many ways for me, most of which never made it
into my diary but that didn't mean the events weren't significant in my
life. It's time to quickly look back and then move on to 2014.
Table of Contents
=================
Chapter 1 - Blessed
Chapter 2 - What Didn't Make It Into My Diary in 2013
Chapter 3 - Hopes and Dreams for 2014
Chapter 1 - Blessed
===================
I titled this chapter "Blessed" because if I had to sum up my life in one
word I can't think of a more fitting one to use. If you know anything at
all about me then hopefully you know that I personally have a strong
belief in God and I believe in living a life for which someday I can
stand before him and not be ashamed of anything I've done, nor stand
accused of not putting him first in my life. In return, I believe we’re
rewarded in our time here on this earth. Not that there is this super
God handing out doggie treats when his pets perform for him but more like
a loving father returning a part of what is given to him.
OK, so maybe I'm not the best when it comes to making a religious analogy
but hopefully my point is getting across. I fully understand that there
are many people who would claim that many of the things I’ve done in my
life are sinful and perhaps even blasphemous. Well, they’re entitled to
their opinions - just as I would hope they would allow the same respect
for me and mine. My point being, I can't understand how anyone can truly
stand up and say that submitting yourself biblically to your parents and
husband can EVER be wrong. Yes, the needs and demands will vary a lot
between different families and cultures but that doesn't mean anyone has
the right to judge someone else. So long as we're talking about TRUE
submission from a loving and respectful perspective and NOT some crazy
BSDM fantasy, I’d counter that NOT being submissive would be the more
improper course of action.
Growing up as a teen, I was like most other girls in that I had a hard
time understanding my mother and her beliefs. It’s no stretch to say
that I wasn't the perfect child by any means and instead was often
rebellious and looking to make my own way in the world. Still, looking
back I can see how my mother’s patient perseverance paid off as I
couldn't help but absorb her teachings - both direct via her words and
indirect through observing her actions. As it’s said, a picture paints a
thousand words.
Perhaps one of the most significant “lessons” from my mother, if I can
call it that, was when I first witnessed my parents having sex. I was
sixteen at the time and even though my parents never tried to hide
anything from me, there were still limits and lines not to be crossed.
For example, nudity was OK so long as it was done in the proper time and
place. This meant that being naked in the hot tub was fine but running
around the house flaunting yourself was not. Sharing the bathroom or
even a shower was OK but sitting stark naked on my dad’s lap was
definitely not. Masturbation was encouraged and I often saw my dad
jerking off to his porn collection or a hot girl on a TV show. Yet like
nudity I was taught that there was a difference between releasing your
urges as needed versus putting on a show. It was fine for me to touch
myself if I was watching a hot guy on TV. Really, what would be the
point in sneaking up to your room later to do what everyone does anyway?
What it didn’t mean was for me to act like some porn star in the process
and put on a show for anyone watching.
So along those lines, while I knew my parents had an active sex life (the
walls between our bedrooms were pretty thin), it was only brought up
occasionally and never something they did in front of me. While at the
time I sometimes wondered about it, now I understand that it wasn’t that
they were ashamed for me to watch them or that they thought it was
indecent for me to see them but rather more that they wanted to be sure I
was mature enough to understand the difference between fucking and making
love.
Indeed, their wisdom was evident as that was exactly what I saw that
first night when I came home early from a party. Unknown to them I
looked out my bedroom window onto the deck below where my parents were
having sex in the hot tub. I’d been having sex myself for over two years
by then and exposed to my father’s porn collection long before so it
wasn’t like I was seeing anything new. Yet in a way I was. Watching
them I suddenly understood what it meant to make love to someone and how
that differed dramatically from sex as I’d known and understood it up
until that moment. It also made me realize something else that was
totally new for me - a desire to have that sort of relationship with my
father. It was this revelation that truly hanged my life.
People seem to think that girls like me grow up being “groomed” for
incest by our parents and that as a result we want to have sex with our
fathers from an early age. Well, nothing could be further from the
truth, at least in my case. If anything, the exposure I was given to sex
in terms of masturbation and having my parents watch me having sex with
my boyfriends had the opposite effect if anything. I guess you could say
that it was sort of like being inoculated in that by NOT hiding things
from me and NOT making it all something taboo and thus alluring. Believe
it or not, I never even considered having sex with my dad until that
night. Oh sure I knew he got erections because of me - it was sort of
obvious when I sat on his lap and felt him poking me in the butt. Yes, I
knew he masturbated when he spied on me as I was being fucked by a
boyfriend. None of that mattered because I was raised to understand that
his reactions were natural for any man so they never caused me to think
that he might actually want to have sex with me. After all, I was his
daughter! I had no idea at the time about my mother’s relationship with
her father and the only thing I knew about incest was all the negative
stuff you read in magazines and see on TV.
It was thus rather ironic that when I came to realize that I wanted to
please my father in a manner like my mother that I was more worried that
he might not even WANT me in that way and that I might offend him or in
some way hurt our relationship. Given the 20/20 vision of hindsight it
all seems rather funny now. Little did I know back then that he’d been
lusting to have sex with me since the day I first gave him a hand-job
under the instruction of my mother almost eight years earlier! Well,
chalk that up to another area where I think my mother wasn’t really
correct. It was at her insistence that my dad kept his true feelings for
me hidden and now I am the one who feels guilty that I didn’t allow him
to take my virginity.
Once I submitted myself to my dad in the proper biblical sense, it WAS
like I was blessed by God in return for my obedience. Seeing the intense
look in his dark eyes when he was inside of me, the joyous expression on
his face as he would cum in me, and the heavy sighs of fulfillment while
he would slowly dwindle in me afterwards is something I don’t think I
will ever tire of. While our relationship had always been close before
then, once we started having sex regularly it was like it all just moved
to a totally different level. Yes, I still had my moments of rebellion
and I know at times I must have disappointed him but at least now we had
something that never failed to bring us back together again.
Yes, I am blessed to be able to please my father!
Another area where I feel blessed in may sound a little vain yet at the
same time it’s not something to be ashamed of either. When I look in the
mirror I may spot every blemish and fault but at the same time I also
realize that God has blessed me with a sexy body that men find desirable.
Even better, I really haven’t done anything to deserve it in terms of
helping things out by working out, dieting, etc. It has been a blessing
to me in that this was something else that I was taught by my mother - to
use the gifts God has given me.
As a result, I am not ashamed in any way to admit that I am a slut.
Heck, if anything I’m quite proud of it, at least based on how I define
the term. I’ve always said that the difference between a slut and a
whore is that whores allow men to use their bodies for money in whatever
way they want. In contrast, sluts use their bodies to get what THEY
want. When a guy “dates” a whore, he knows what he’s getting in advance
and in general, that’s what he gets. When a guy dates a slut like me he
may have hopes and expectations but there are no guarantees and if
anything, he might get even more than he expected if he plays his cards
right.
Being slutty certainly has other advantages and benefits. Like I almost
never pay for much of anything be it movies, clothes, jewelry, or
whatever - at least when a guy’s involved. Guys never complain when I
cut in line, arrive late, or make any negative comments to me about what
I wear. Most of all I LOVE the looks I get - both the stares from the
men who desire me and the frowns from their wives and girlfriends who
feel threatened by me. It’s exciting to flirt and even more so to be
able to drive men to do things they might never have done if they hadn’t
met me.
Yes, I am blessed to be a slut!
When it comes to my family, few people are more blessed than me. Oh sure
there are those in my family tree that aren’t exactly what I’d choose
given a choice but overall I’ve got no complaints. Over the course of
years I’ve had sex with both my uncles and a few of my cousins, not to
mention my mom’s sister. Sure it’s all about the sex and nothing to do
with “love” but it’s exciting to sit around at a family gathering and
exchange knowing glances with them while the others haven’t a clue.
Other than a few friends, there is really nobody I have sex with on a
regular basis outside my family and even when it comes to my friends it
tends to be few and far between. So while most of my more “memorable”
experiences (and hence diary entries) tend to revolve around sex with
strangers and friends, when it comes to casual sex without the stress and
worries nothing beats family.
Yes, I am blessed to be part of an incestuous family!
Of course, nothing has been more a blessing to me than my husband. If
nothing else proves God’s will it would have to be my marriage. How
amazing is it that the sixteen year-old boy who took my virginity back
when I was just fourteen would marry me more than ten years later? Like
how many girls actually marry their “first”? Sure, there were hundreds
of guys in between but I’ll believe that always it was a miracle from God
that brought Steve back into my life after he’d left and I was so sure
that we’d never be together again.
My husband is the most marvelous man any girl could ask for. Sure, I
will always submit to him properly as a wife should, but nobody can call
me his slave or bitch! Steve not only loves me totally and lusts for me
now more than the day we first dated, most importantly he respects me.
Unfortunately Steve isn’t exactly an incest fan, much to the chagrin of
his sister back in high school I might add! While he refuses to be
anywhere nearby when I’m having sex with my dad, at the same time he’s
never discouraged me from meeting my obligations as a daughter, nor done
anything to interfere. What will happen someday when our daughter gets
older is still out with the jury but no matter what I know he will love
her unconditionally. I’ve always said that I don’t have sex with my dad
so that he will love me - but rather I have sex BECAUSE he loves me. In
the same way I know Steve will love our precious gift from God regardless
of whether he accepts her gift of submission.
Yes, I am blessed to have a wonderful husband!
In other areas of my life I have also been richly blessed. Take my
career for example. Sure there were some speed bumps along the road but
now I look back at those times and I can see how God was testing me.
Yes, there were those instances when I had to do things that at the time
I thought were unfairly forced upon me but now I look back and see how I
was strengthened by them. As a result, today I have exactly what I’ve
always dreamed of - teaching 8th grade at a school that is well funded,
pays well, had extraordinary benefits, with a parent-driven curriculum
and level of support that would be the envy of any school district in the
country.
Yes, I’m richly blessed in my career!
Finally, and although I list it last it’s really first in priority, I
have a personal relationship with my Lord and Savior and I try to make
God number one in everything in my life. I attend church faithfully and
participate in a number of groups including women’s bible studies, youth
ministries, and neighborhood outreach programs. Indeed, outside of work
I think that I spend more time at my church than I do anywhere else other
than our home. I like to think that my life serves as an offering to God
and that He is pleased with all that I say and do.
Yes, I am blessed to have God in my life!
I suppose I could have gone on but those are the top areas where I feel I
have and continue to be blessed. The only reason I mention them is to
bring context into my reflections of the past year and to provide a
better understanding when it comes to my hopes for the new year.
Chapter 2 - What Didn't Make It Into My Diary in 2013
=====================================================
People are always asking me when I will publish a new diary entry. When
it comes to deciding what and when to post, several factors enter the
equation...
First and most important, it must be an event that had an impact on my
life both current and future. This could be either positive or negative.
For example, I was once raped back in college when I was doing some
rather foolhardy things. Even though it was a “negative” experience at
the time, I don’t regret what I did because in the end it served a useful
purpose in my life by driving me out of the escort business before
anything more serious could happen. It also served as a reminder in the
future when I would consider ever doing such things again which is why I
posted it in my diary.
Next, it needed to be something worth the effort to write about. Most of
my diary stories are rather lengthy, not novel length but more than just
short stories. If something happened quick without a lead-in then why
bother writing a few paragraphs about a quick blowjob?
Finally, I need to have the time to sit down and write it out. Many of
my diary stories get started and are never finished. Finally enough time
goes by that I just don’t bother and start working on something new.
Such was the case in 2013 where I posted fewer stories than usual. I mean
like being pregnant and having a kid can keep you busy to where writing
stories simply isn’t at the top of the priority list!
As a reminder, here’s what DID make it in...
January 18, 2013 Kissing Cousins
Growing up like sisters, Kristi and I have always shared most everything
- clothes, makeup, and boys. Most of that has dwindled away over the
years but every now and then it includes our husbands...
So what did NOT make it in?
Swapping
--------
For the most part I didn’t write about our swapping. Steve is really
into this and I have to admit it turns me on more than the party scene.
However, looking a little deeper into our motives and you’ll find some
significant differences...
Steve is like any man in that he’ll fuck any pussy made available to him.
For whatever reason it seems that most of the couples we swap with are
older than us which means the wives are usually older than Steve. Steve
certainly doesn’t protest but I know the sex isn’t the primary driver for
him in these situations. No... what my husband loves more than anything
is watching his wife being fucked by another husband, especially in front
of the wife. When he gets his choice then we all do it in the same room
so he can watch me while he is doing the other wife.
In sharp contrast, I enjoy swapping because unlike parties, there is an
element of intimacy that is missing when everyone is just trading back
and forth. Heck, half the time at a party I never even know the names of
the guys who fuck me. I’ve always preferred one-on-one sex when it comes
to my own satisfaction although I learned early on that one easy way to
please a man was to put out for more than one. As for me, while I’m not
bothered seeing my husband fucking another women, it doesn’t really get
me all that excited either. Certainly I’m pleased to see him enjoying
himself but really, what’s in it for me? As for having him watch me, now
THAT I do enjoy immensely, just as I always loved my dad watching me
being fucked back in high school. Why? I’m not really sure other than
I love them seeing how much other men want me so that they want me even
more themselves. When it comes to the wife watching, definitely not a
factor simply because I know she is OK with it. (What DOES turn me on is
when guy fucks me and his wife DOESN’T know.) Given the option, I would
disappear into separate bedrooms for the night and enjoy the intimacy of
having sex with a total stranger whom I will likely never see again.
We swap every few weeks or so but hardly any of those made it into print.
Hopefully based on all I just described now you can understand why.
Swapping is a great way to keep your marriage fresh and it’s one of a few
activities that can demonstrate your commitment and love for your
partner. Being with another person for the night and then return home to
have sex in your own bed again is like a shot of adrenalin to our
marriage! Still, diary worthy? Usually not.
Underage Sex
------------
Another area that I know many guys want to hear about are the family-
oriented parties. At the same time these are probably the times that I
LEAST like to write about. Now I’m not going to try and be all uppity
and pretend that I don’t enjoy them - I do... a LOT. That said, it
doesn’t mean that afterwards I am anxious to go again. Although I
wouldn’t call it feeling guilty, at the same time there have been issues
in my past that I’d rather keep buried that tend to rise again during
such events.
I say I don’t feel guilty in that from everything I have witnessed, the
ones who seem to enjoy the parties the most are the kids so I certainly
don’t worry about their welfare. Until you’ve witnessed a twelve or
thirteen year-old girl approach an older man and totally wrap him around
her finger knowing she has complete and total control of him then you
can’t understand what I mean. Of course the fathers go there so they can
fuck the daughters of other men but it’s not like those daughters aren’t
just as anxious for them to do it to them! And what young teenage boy
hasn’t masturbated thinking of fucking his friend’s mother? Well, what
can be wrong with giving him the opportunity? So in terms of feeling
guilty, not a problem for me.
What DOES bother me, even though I know it shouldn’t, is the connection
between the family parties and my parents’ divorce. My mom and dad were
married for over 25 years and I always assumed that they would be until
they died. Indeed, I know that even today they still love each other in
a way that they will never love anyone else again. Yet even a love as
deep as theirs couldn’t overcome my father’s addiction to young girls.
My mother, always opposed to underage sex in general, never said anything
so long as my father met his needs through porn and fantasy. Other than
a few times with both my mother and my best friends, my dad never had sex
outside our family once he married my mom with ANYONE, let alone a young
girl he wasn’t related to.
The parties changed all that. Once my Aunt Linda invited my dad to the
first one everything changed. Like how could a fantasy porn girl compete
with the real thing? My mother was appalled. While she knew her sister
had been involved in such parties for years starting back after her
divorce, so long as she kept things to her and her own daughter my mom
never said anything. It was only when my dad and I started going with my
aunt (I was required because father’s couldn’t show up unless their own
daughter or son came too, even though technically I was much too old)
that my mom had issues.
Addictions, be they do drugs, cigarettes, porn or underage sex, can be
extremely powerful. Just watch the news and see how many people do
incredibly stupid things because of the influence of their particular
addiction. So it was with my dad. I can’t really be mad at him as it
wasn’t something he could control. I’m sure had the opportunity not been
provided that he would have never sought out such things for himself yet
when it DID happen, can he really be faulted for being unable to say no?
As a result my mother felt compelled to leave my father and now lives in
Oregon near her best friend Tammy. While she occasionally visits and
gets along fine with my dad, I know she will never move back so long as
he stays involved in the family parties - something I also know he will
likely never be able to turn away from. Even so, it’s not this so much
that turns me off about the parties. No, it’s more how much my own
husband is on a similar path...
Like probably most men, Steve also enjoys fucking young girls. I mean
really, I strongly believe the only thing keeping most men from having
sex with young girls is lack of safe opportunity. However, unlike my
father Steve also enjoys sex with older women which is why I encourage
him to do so in hopes it will keep him from turning down the path my
father took. Indeed, in some ways I almost blame my mother for my
father’s path in that had she allowed him to have sex with other women
rather than taking such a firm stand about adultery then maybe he
wouldn’t have fixated his fantasies so strongly on young girls.
So long as my husband doesn’t follow in my father’s footsteps, I will
take the lessons learned from my mother and not fight his occasional
dalliance with underage girls. We’ve sort of reached an informal
agreement where I don’t say anything so long as he doesn’t. Although I
usually turn down his invitations, I will occasional accompany him just
to be a good wife and support my husband. And yes, I DO enjoy myself.
Any women claiming NOT to find it exhilarating to be fucked by a young
horny teenage boy is not being truthful! However, attending such a party
and writing about it are two separate things. While I will occasionally
do so, in general I don’t mention them and thus in 2013 there were only a
few mentions of anything involving young girls.
Masturbation
------------
Anyone who knows me knows that I LOVE to masturbate. None of this crap
about getting enough sex so I don’t need to masturbate. Sex and
masturbation are two different things in my book. Of course I Love sex
as well, but I can be fucked over and over and still feel the need to rub
myself when it’s all over. Indeed, it’s not uncommon at all for me to
have sex with my husband and then lie next to him as he sleeps and bring
myself off yet again.
In the past I have written about some of my masturbating experiences but
In general I don’t see where it’s worth the effort. I think that overall
I mention it enough in other stories so it’s not like people don’t know
that I do it. While I’m masturbating I tend to fantasize so even if I
DID write about it then it would be more about the fantasy than the
actual act of masturbation.
Incest with My Dad
------------------
I’ve been posting stories about sex with my dad for many years now so
really, what’s left to tell? It’s not like I enjoy it any less now than
before, just not something to write home about so to speak. If anything,
I would say I enjoy pleasing my father even more now because we do it so
much less and I know that as I am getting older that he is fucking me
more and more simply as his daughter than as a teenage girl.
Because my Aunt Linda is now living with my dad, it’s not like he doesn’t
get enough sex. If anything, I’m glad she is with him as she is one of
the few older women he has sex with these days - the only one besides me
and occasionally my mother. As for meeting his young desires, I really
don’t know how often he indulges and frankly, I’m not interested. I’m
sure it’s more than just the times my husband joins him so it’s got to be
quite often but really, what does it matter?
I DID post a couple of entries about me and my dad as I know people want
to hear about us. Still, I didn’t see any point in detailing the dozens
of other times.
Sex With My Husband
-------------------
Steve and I generally have sex at least once a day. We also love to play
and fool around most any time we can get away with it. Do people really
want to hear about each and every little thing we do? I don’t think so
and as such there are no entries about just us having sex, only when it
involves others.
Chapter 3 - Hopes and Dreams for 2014
=====================================
As a general rule I’m not a big fan of New Year’s Resolutions. Losing
weight seems to be number one for most people but that’s not something I
am overly worried about. As for resolving to work out... yeah right!
Still, making up a list is like the thing to do so here’s what I worked
up...
Serve as an Christian Example
-----------------------------
God is always first in my life so I want everything I do and say to
glorify him. I want people to look at me and see someone who loves God
and provides an example to others. I would hope that people can see
through me that sex and incest can be a means to a stronger marriage and
a healthier family when done properly with the right attitude and
biblical guidance.
Be a Proper Wife and Daughter
-----------------------------
I know I say this a lot but submitting myself biblically to my father and
husband is extremely important to me. It’s literally the foundation of
my marriage and the cornerstone of my relationship with my father. In
the past twelve years I have never said NO to my father when he has asked
for me to satisfy him sexually and I want to add 2014 to record.
Similarly, I have never refused such a request from my husband and I hope
to extend that record for another year as well. Admittedly, this will be
an easy resolution to keep!
Be a Proper Mother
------------------
I want to tell people something right now and get it over with... you
will NOT hear much of anything from me in 2014 regarding my daughter. As
much as I believe in the intrinsic value of incest and the proper role of
a daughter, those days are still many years away. While I understand
that there are people who believe in what I would call extreme pedophile
activity, that’s their call and while I will not judge them for it,
neither do I condone it in my own life. As such I will NOT involve ANY
young child, and especially my daughter, in any sexual activities
regardless of circumstances. So let’s just leave it at that, OK?
Support My Husband More
-----------------------
I went to great length earlier to explain why I don’t fully support my
husband perhaps as much as I should when it comes to his “youthful
desires” - perhaps going to TOO much length for some. At the heart of it
is something I’ve already said in that I know I shouldn’t feel this way
yet I do. So in 2014 I want to try harder to push those feelings aside
and become a more willing and active partner for my husband in ALL of his
activities.
From a purely selfish perspective this should be another easy resolution
to keep in that I DO enjoy myself a lot when I go with Steve. Plus if
anything I find that I enjoy the times we’ve met privately with a family
even more so than the parties but that’s just being consistent with my
feelings about swapping as well. I’m always more comfortable in more
intimate settings when it comes to my own physical satisfaction be it
with another couple p with or without their kids.
This resolution will largely a mental exercise from me as I try to cast
aside the demons and reconcile myself to reality. What makes this
resolution important to me is that I do NOT want to repeat my mother’s
mistake by hoping that someday my husband will “grow out of” his desires
as if they are some sort of teenage acne. If anything, my dad has
demonstrated to me that such addictions only get all the more powerful as
a man grows older so I figure that the sooner I can help Steve control
his urges the better. Well, what better way than to be his active
partner and supporter? Plus who knows, maybe I’ll find that I even enjoy
it all the more if I can do away with the “hangover” guilt trip.
So there you have it. I hope everyone had a great Christmas and that
your 2014 resolutions are all met.
THE END