Warnings:

1) ASSTR is an adult website. If it is illegal for you to view adult material due to age and/or local law, please leave now.

2) This story is boring but for the one who understands.

3) "Two Dreams" is protected under copyright law. Do not redistribute without permission from the author.

I came across a beautiful acoustic melody performed by Don Ross that had been posted on YouTube, and it moved me to tears. I must've watched "Berkley Springs" fifteen times in a row. Yet another longing added itself to the weight on my heart. To share this with the one who would understand.

And when I slept that night, I dreamed.

I walked the hallways of a school building, heading for a class I had with 'Boyfriend'. We had an extreme conflict over something utterly ridiculous. I can't remember what it was, but the feelings of hurt and anger seemed very real...

On my way to the next class, I ran into 'the Rockstar', and he expressed his concern for me. I would only tell him I loved him--as I do in reality--because I never have the desire to weaken him or jade him with any of my negativity. I protect him. I help him. Not the other way around.

I don't think you were a student in this dream, but you showed up at my classroom. You didn't seem surprised to see me, but I was shocked to see you. (Although, you didn't look exactly like you. My marathon Bob Ross-watching must've had an impact on my subconscious image of you.) I didn't question you, and you didn't offer any explanation, but I had the feeling you'd come to see me without my prior knowledge. I experienced vivid relief and elation.

Time skipped forward, and we were alone except for a box of individually wrapped snacks (bars, like granola bars or cereal bars or something) that we were sharing. Just us. No people or any other living things. No walls, no asphalt, no atmosphere at all--just us alone. We had a slight disagreement over whether we'd shared the snacks evenly, but the tension dissolved faster than it had built (the exact opposite of the fight I'd had earlier with Boyfriend.) We hugged each other and giggled over our silliness, whispering our apologies and I-love-you's.

And you scooped me up into your arms as if to carry me across the threshold. My first reaction was panic because I didn't want you to hurt your back, but you assured me I weighed nothing, and we laughed and cried happy tears while you twirled me around and around...nothing but love, joy, and freedom...until I woke up.

The very next night, I dreamed again. It's not unusual for me to remember a few dreams per week, but I usually don't have such intense dreams, and I find it odd that I had two in a row.

A busy public place. Not outside--the floor was grey, like concrete, and the walls were white. Maybe a train station. Maybe a cafeteria. I don't know. There were lots of people sitting at picnic tables. We were all sitting backwards on the tables. I was next to dad, on his right-hand side, nearest to the wall. Boyfriend sat across from my dad.

I could tell something major was about to happen because of the look on Boyfriend's face. Before I could turn around, you were standing beside dad. (And this time, you looked exactly like you do in reality.) My heart nearly jumped out of my chest.

Dad said hello to you, and he left it at that, probably because you were focused on Boyfriend. You looked my way only once, with kind eyes filled with love and assurance, before turning your attention back to Boyfriend. And you let him have it, verbally, without any reservation. (Much like I'd once let you have it in front of Dad. I think Dad was only in the dream to make it 'safe' for you to confront Boyfriend--because he never said anything besides 'hello', and he never moved.)

Then, you told Boyfriend how you felt about me. Without breaking your gaze with him, you asked me to confirm my knowledge of your feelings, and I did. You told him how I felt about you. Again and in the same manner, you asked me to back you up, and I did.

Boyfriend didn't say a word. He got up and headed to the far end of the room toward the double doors leading outside. Out of conditioning, I immediately stood and started to go after him. You stopped me by whispering my name. I looked into your eyes, and love filled all the places in my heart that had been empty so long.

Then, I heard Boyfriend curse. I felt guilty. I felt I owed him some word of explanation or comfort, so I took another step or two toward him. You spoke my name again, louder but still with love. And I stood there in the middle for a long moment, looking up the aisle at you and back down at him.

My eyes begged you for just a little more time...just a few minutes. But I couldn't make myself ask you. You'd waited too long already, and I knew it, so I couldn't ask more of you. After all, you'd not come for me for so very long, and here you finally were. You stood up for yourself and for us, and you fixed everything so that I could come home with you. I couldn't risk asking you for anything more. I wouldn't.

I wanted to ask, but I also wanted--no, I needed-- to be rooted with a hand to hold if I were to remain strong.

And what I got was an unfortunate dose of reality. In other words, I woke up. I wanted to go back to the dream world to experience a more conclusive outcome, but that proved impossible.

Better outcome...not just for the dream, either...

~~~~~~~~~A Personal Note~~~~~~~~~

I'm working on the piece you asked of me. If we still aren't communicating directly, I hope you'll check back to my Home Page to see it posted when it's finished--though I expect it'll take awhile.

All the best for you, DMB.