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\fs24\lang1033\langfe1033\cgrid\langnp1033\langfenp1033 {\insrsid11479847 The Naughty Gaffer}{\insrsid6507515  On Language and Grammar}{\insrsid2915756 
\par }{\insrsid11755559 No sex here, just some ideas about writing
\par Brndtag at mcn.net
\par }{\insrsid6507515 
\par Our writers run a gamut from pretty good on language and grammar to pretty bad. A lot of my comments here will be opinion but some of them will be about rules of grammar and writing that used to be standard and still should be.
\par If you are writing dialect, you use the rules that suit your dialect, like Mark Twain did. If you wish to write standard English, there are some things to remember.
\par 
\par On the Use of Lay, Lie, Laid and Lied
\par As writers of smut, we often have our participants in horizontal positions. Some
times our participants put themselves there and sometimes they put their friends, lovers, toys and lubricants there. This creates serious problems in language use and grammar. A lot of our smut friends use the verbs incorrectly and it jars my ear badly. T
he verbs \'93lie\'94 and \'93lay\'94 create the problem.
\par In English, the verb \'93to lie\'94 has two functions. One is to tell falsehoods and isn\rquote t our problem now. The other use of \'93to lie\'94 is a reflexive verb. If you\rquote ve managed to forget your grammar lessons, that means th
at the subjective of the verb is also the object \endash  the verb \'93reflects\'94 back on the actor. Thus, \'93I lie on the bed}{\insrsid5782908 , watching}{\insrsid6507515  as you remove my last garment, my heart pounding with lust.\'94
 This would be correct present-tense usage. Its past participle is \'93lay\'94: \'93I lay across your lap last night as you pulled my panties down.\'94 Because my sweetheart is narrating about last night, she uses the reflexive past tense, \'93lay\'94. It
\rquote s just as true for third person: \'93He lay under her on the bed, their bare }{\insrsid228154 flesh in warm contact from neck to knee.\'94 Past perfect: \'93I have lain on my bed for hours, embracing that picture of you, naked and glorious.\'94}{
\insrsid6507515 
\par }{\insrsid228154 The verb \'93to lay\'94 means to put something else down. It has a subject who does the laying and it has an object, that which the subject lays. \'93Brian carries Carina upstairs and lays her tenderly on his soft quilt.\'94 Past tense: 
\'93Marina laid her vibrator on the bedside stand. She was pleased to see the charge indicator read \lquote Full\rquote \'94. Past perfect: \'93I have laid many a wench where you lie now, and all rose with }{\insrsid13006492 smiles}{\insrsid228154 
 on their lips,\'94 the roguish pirate sneered.
\par }{\insrsid13006492 
\par }{\insrsid13045883 Comprise}{\insrsid13006492 
\par }{\insrsid13045883 The word \'93comprise\'94 means \'93to take in\'94. So a team comprises its members and our orgy club comprised seven men, three women, and a few cheerful switch hitters. The structure \'93\'85was comprised of\'85\'94
 is always a sign to rewrite the sentence.
\par 
\par }{\insrsid5005426 Hopeful Use of Hopefully}{\insrsid13045883 
\par }{\insrsid5005426 The word \'93hopeful\'94 is an adjective and \'93hopefully\'94 is an adverb \endash  it needs an action that occurs with hope. Thus: \'93I watched hopefully as she began to open her jeans. 
She had removed her blouse with her blinds open and I hoped she would get naked with them still open.\'94 The version \'93Hopefully, she was going to leave her blinds open, as last night when I got to watch her play with herself,\'94
 is poor grammar. Also, if you use a flashlight, she will probably notice you. She may notice you hopefully, if she hopes you will watch her.
\par }{\insrsid13834555 
\par Mixing Plural and Singular Forms, and Gender Neutrality
\par Personally, I favor the female gender, being a member of the male gender. Unto each one\rquote s own, of course \endash  and that\rquote s an example of writing gender neutrality. For centuries, writers used \'93he\'94 and \'93him\'94}{\insrsid5782908 
 as }{\insrsid13834555 mass noun}{\insrsid5782908 s}{\insrsid13834555  to include women }{\insrsid5782908 and}{\insrsid13834555  men. In the last fifty years or so, many people have come to think this was exclusive and patriarchal. Peopl
e now often try to use gender-neutral writing and I think that\rquote s often a good idea. The problem is a tendency to say something like, \'93Anyone may want their sex with or without spanking.\'94 \'93Anyone\'94 is singular and \'93their sex\'94
 is plural. (Personally, I think spanking should also be singular, but I am open to finding out if spanking two pretty girls is even better than spanking one.) Revising the sentence: \'93People may want their sex with or without spanking.\'94
 It can be difficult to write gender-neutral material. My usual trick is to use a plural form, as I did here.}{\insrsid4794085 
\par 
\par Obscenity and Sex Talk
\par I\rquote m on thin ground here and the next part is all opinion. I happen to dislike the terms \'93fuck\'94, \'93cunt\'94, \'93ass\'94 and \'93cock\'94. Just a matter of taste, I know. For some reason I like the words \'93sex\'94, \'93vagina\'94, \'93
bottom\'94 and \'93penis.\'94 So I use a range of terms favoring the ones I like. I think it creates a warmer, gentler tone in my writing. If other terms give you the effect you want, that\rquote s what you should use.}{\insrsid13919595 
 There are readers who prefer my softer touch and others who prefer the more vigorous or even raunchy forms.}{\insrsid4794085 
\par }{\insrsid13919595 I have mild obsessions about the words \'93spank\'94, including }{\insrsid10051634 all }{\insrsid13919595 its forms, and \'93panties\'94. I liked just typing them into a sentence about how much I like them.
\par }{\insrsid4794085 
\par The Naughty Gaffer\rquote s #2 Rule of Grammar and Language}{\insrsid13834555  
\par }{\insrsid4794085 My profile mentions a particular writing trick or technique that I work on. It includes a challenge to see if you can spot what it is. If you read a few stories, you may see what it is. In a way, I\rquote d be disappointed because I
\rquote d rather my stories made you hot and bothered and eager to have some brand of sex. Anyway, take a look and I\rquote ll be right here when you get back.}{\insrsid11479847 
\par }{\insrsid1582311 Have you r}{\insrsid4794085 ead a couple of stories? All cleaned up? Good. Here it is: if you go through the stories, you\rquote ll see that nearly all sentences are phrased in a positive form. That is, I try to say, \'93
He kept his eyes on my tits the whole time\'94 instead of \'93He never took his eyes or hands off my tits.\'94 \'93I licked the head of his marvelous penis, being sure to give his frenulum all the attention he could stand,\'94 rather than \'93I licked 
\'85not forgetting to \'85\'94}{\insrsid11416687  Of course I use \'93not\'94 forms if the sentence stumbles too much when I try a positive form. Give this a try in your own work \endash  I think it\rquote s much more effective to em
phasize what should happen, the condition we want to achieve (in our case, horniness) rather than what we don\rquote t want.}{\insrsid4794085 
\par }{\insrsid13908061 
\par #1 Rule of Grammar and Language
\par The #1 rule is to be clear as you convey your story. Use the rules of correct grammar as tools rather than goals (see how I got out of the \'93not\'94
 there?). If you use them consistently, your writing will be clearer and your readers will enjoy the story more. If a rule is really in your way, modify it as necessary.
\par }{\insrsid7285969 
\par #1 Rule of Story-telling
\par Enjoy your own story. That\rquote s the only way anyone else will enjoy it.
\par }}