PENA'S STORY: Part 18: Sacred Sex; Romantic Sex
To a casual observer, the average Filipino male appears to divide his life between drinking, eating, gambling on the outcome of cockfights and sleeping with as many young ladies as possible. Peer pressure is largely to blame. The Church, firmly stuck in the Middle Ages, largely prevents any form of sex education to be taught in schools. This has resulted in ignorance of the "facts of life". Unwanted pregnancies of teenage girls are on the rise. The Sex Trade is flourishing despite its illegality.
My mother had given me an excellent sex education. She taught me that "pleasuring myself" was healthy and normal as long as it was done in moderation. I learned to respect my body. The Church view of course is that masturbation is a Sin that has to be confessed. My early experiences with boys turned me off. They sought self-gratification and offered nothing in return. I soon discovered that sex with other girls was not only possible but pleasurable too. I entered a long-term intimate sexual relationship with a fellow female undergraduate which endured up to my graduation from law school when we found ourselves living in different parts of the Philippines. We remain close to this day, indulging in spontaneous non-romantic sexual intimacy from time to time.
I finally met a man who not only respected me but showered me with genuine love and affection. He thought with his heart rather than with his penis! I often joked with Michael that his penis was MINE; it was simply attached to his body! Of course he would laugh but in many ways the statement was true. Most nights as we lay naked in our huge bed I would reach out and gently wrap my hand around his flaccid organ. He would move a little closer and relax. Sometimes I would simply keep my hand in place and enjoy the presence of his soft sleeping organ. Other times I would begin a slow random movement of my hand and his penis would rise and harden slowly. More often than not we just fell asleep after such a session. This made the times when we actually did engage in sexual intimacy more pleasurable. When Michael was away on business I would seek out Erin's company and we took things as they came, as close friends rather than the lovers we had once been.
Michael, in turn was often taken to a bath-house in Kyoto that did nuru massage by his Japanese contact. I experienced this type of massage first hand when Michael invited me to accompany him on one such trip. We lay side by side naked on two mattresses and two Japanese young ladies dressed only in shorts entered and applied a special gel over our bodies. They proceeded to rub their own bodies over ours. We could not touch the masseuse and her genitals had to be kept concealed. Unlike some of the joints in Tokyo there was no face-sitting or other such refinements. Every part of our bodies was treated in a professional manner including our genitals. Included was a nipple massage that although intensely pleasurable was considered to be therapeutic rather than erotic. I asked Michael to 'come clean' with what happened next when he was alone. He said something in Japanese and my masseuse left the room. Michael's masseuse proceeded to give him a slow but clumsy genital massage that swiftly brought him to a climax. The girl left the room. I was glad he had been truthful. In a way I was failing my husband by not taking care of his sexual needs and it left me free to enjoy Erin's company without guilt. In any case, I knew he would have insulted his host if he had refused to receive a massage on each visit. We showered together and I hugged Michael for a long time.
I believe that Woman was designed to take the lead in sexual activity. My experiences with Erin had prepared me for married life. Michael and I would discuss our feelings, needs and desires openly and I took on the responsibility of creating a scenario. I was not "in control"; we were partners under my leadership. Michael was expected to apply his Taoist techniques and he entrusted me with making the decision on how our session would end. Michael was then free to concentrate on making the session romantic and enjoyable. It worked extremely well and we both felt sexually satisfied.
Through the society I discovered that there was another, more sacred side to sex. The genital organs, particularly those of the female, played an important role in many of the rites and ceremonies that the society practiced. The Soul that resided in the glans was ritually freed of its covering in all members. The most sacred rite was that of "Appeasing the Soul" in which an orgasm was induced within a Sacred space. Musk, extracted from the genitals of a male deer, played an important role in certain rituals; it blended well with the natural secretions of the female reproductive system. There was a measure of sexual enjoyment in each ritual, even those that involved pain or discomfort. Indeed, the pain-pleasure boundary offered a gateway to profound healing at an emotional and spiritual level.
part 19 to follow...
Index