…From the Ashes the Phoenix Rises

By Danyealle

(FanFiction/Angst)

Chapter 20

Although her heart was hammering in her chest and her inside felt like they are tied in knots she didn’t show it.  Calmly, she looked at Inuyasha but said nothing.

Standing behind her, Sesshomarus said nothing, knowing from that vision and his instinct that this had to happen.  Putting a hand on her shoulder to let her know he was there, he took her backpack and handed it to Kouga but said nothing.

Stepping closer, Inuyasha snarled, “Did you enjoy fucking him?”

“Yes, I did.  Did you enjoy watching Inuyasha?”  She asked calmly.

Growling, the hanyous’ eyes flashed, “You’re mine Kagome!  Mine!  You turned your back on me!”

Locking eyes with him, she shook her head.  “No Inuyasha, I was not ever yours.  You made your choice long ago and it wasn’t me you chose, you chose Kikyo.  I was just your back-up plan so you wouldn’t be left alone in the world.”  She told him quietly, voice smooth.

“That’s bullshit Kagome!  You are just deluding yourself so you don’t feel guilty about betraying me!”  He shouted.

“You’re the one that has it backwards Inuyasha, not me.”  She replied calmly.  “You’re the one that told Kikyo you were just acting like you liked me.  You said you couldn’t understand why she thought I meant anything to you because I was an ‘uptight virgin bitch that he was disgusted to even touch’.  That doesn’t sound like I was yours Inuyasha.”

Sputtering, he stomped his foot in frustration.  “I didn’t mean that Kagome!  You should have known that!”

“So you lied?  How do I know it was Kikyo you lied to and aren’t lying to me now Inuyasha?  If you’ll lie to her how can I trust you won’t lie to me as well?  How can I trust anything you are saying to me now isn’t a lie?”

He stammered out half-baked denials and explanations, none of which wee convincing.

Standing there, Kagome looked at him, quiet, arms folded across her chest, face calm.  “I don’t believe you Inuyasha.”  She said quietly.

“What the hell is wrong with you?!?”  He screamed.  Pointing to Sesshomaru, he yelled, “You know what that asshole is like!”

“Yes, I do.”  She replied.  “I’m well aware of what he’s like.  He won’t lie to me.  I know exactly where I stand with him.  He doesn’t play games with me.  When he tells me something I believe him.  When he promises me something he does it.”

“What the fuck Kagome?  He’s tired to kill you!”

“So did you when we met.”  She shot back.

“Well… I proved you could trust me!”

“Then you destroyed it.  Sesshomaru has also proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that I can trust him.”

“Dammit Kagome!  Give me a chance to prove you can trust me too!”  Inuyasha snarled, stomping his foot.

“Why should I do that again?”  She asked, looking at him.

“Because I deserve another chance!”  He shouted.

“It’s always about you, isn’t it Inuyasha?”  She said quietly.  “That’s all I’ve heard since I’ve come back.  What YOU want and what YOU feel you deserve.  You’ve insulted me, yelled and screamed and it’s always about you.  Never once did you ask if I was OK.  Never once did you ask what happened.  Never once did you wonder what I went through.  But most of all never once have I heard you say what you did was wrong or even attempt to apologize for what you did.  You may feel you are being treated wrongly, and are vocal about that, but never once have you said anything about how wrong you treated me or what you did.  Tonight is the first time you’ve said anything about it, then only to say you lied.  You are worried about Inuyasha not how your actions affected me.  You’re acting like a child who isn’t getting his way.  Try admitting what you’ve done Inuyasha, it could do a world of good.”  She told him calmly.

“Well… treating me the way you have is wrong too!”  He shot back automatically.

“From your point of view it probably is Inuyasha.  But from my end it was about protecting myself until I could fix my problems.”  She replied.

“Don’t you mean let everyone else do it for you?” He sneered.

“No.”  She replied, fixing him with a stare.  “They helped by picking up the slack a bit and letting me lean on them a bit but I’m the one that fixed the problems.  I’m the only one that could.”

“Right Kagome…”  He snorted.  “They sheltered you from me because you were afraid I would tell you to pull your head out of your ass and grow the fuck up!”

“No Inuyasha.  They did it because I made it clear that I wanted nothing to do with you.  Most people would have gotten a clue after a couple days but you didn’t.”  Stepping closer to him, she fixed him with an even, level stare.  “I don’t want anything to do with you Inuyasha!  I don’t want you around me or to even talk to you right now.  Until you grow up and quit acting like the victim I want nothing to do with you.”  Although her voice was quiet it had a knifes edge to it to let him know she was serious.  Reaching out, she put her fingers through the beads around his neck then yanked, breaking them.  The plinking of the beads hitting the ground seemed to sound like boulders because it was so quiet.  Then she backed away, still looking at him.

Of all the things she had said, this was the one that had sunk in.  In fact he flinched as though he had been slapped and his hand trailed up to feel where the beads had been.  For the first time she had bluntly told him she wanted nothing to do with him.  “but… you’re my friend!  You told me you would always be my friend.”  He said so quietly it was almost a whisper.

“You’ve made that impossible Inuyasha.  A real friend wouldn’t stab another friend in the back like you did me.  I can’t be a friend to someone who does that to me.”  She almost whispered, eyes never leaving him.

Inuyashas’ heart sank.  But as always happened when he felt hurt, he lashed out.  “You’re a moron Kagome.  Are you so stupid that you can’t see you’re being used?”  Pointing to Kouga he said, “He’s always wanted you.  This is just another of his sneaky schemes to do it!”  Pointing to Sesshomaru, he snarled, “The fucking asshole is just using you to get tetsusaiga from me.  We all know he’ll stop at nothing to get it.”

Both males snarled at the hanyou but Kagome just shook her head sadly.  “Inuyasha, I don’t know where you came up with that idea but I don’t believe it for a second!  Neither of them would sink to that level.  But, let’s ask them shall we?”  Looking at Kouga, she asked, “Is this just a way to get me as your mate?”

Snorting, the ookami shook his head, a disgusted look on his face.  “Absolutely not!  You’re my little sister and I’m proud to have you as such.  That is the only relationship I want with you.  If I was still pushing to have you as my mate I would never sink that low, I would just kidnap you again!”  He said, eyes twinkling, grinning from ear to ear.

Smiling, she winked at him.  Looking over her shoulder at Sesshomaru, she asked, “Is this all a scheme to get tetsusaiga?”

“No!”  He growled.  Glaring at Inuyasha he bit out, “Maybe some would sink to that kind of low but I wouldn’t I may be many things that aren’t pleasant but I have honor.  There is nothing honorable about something of that nature!”  He snarled.  Smirking, his eyes twinkled a bit.  “I’d think taking someone as a mate just to get a sword, no matter how powerful, is a bit extreme and most wouldn’t try it.”

Smiling at him, she then looked back at Inuyasha, “See?”

“You believe them?”  The hanyou asked snidely.

“Yes.”  She replied simply.  “They don’t lie to me so I have no reason not to believe them.”

“You’re a fool then!”  He growled.

“If you think so Inuyasha.” She sighed, shaking her head.

Stepping closer to her, ignoring the warning growls from both Kouga and Sesshomaru, Inuyasha glowered at her.  “You gave both those fucks another chance, why not me?”  He yelled.

“When you wise up, grow up and accept responsibility for what you’ve done then I’ll consider it.”  She shot back.

“I deserve another chance Kagome!”  He snarled, stomping his foot.

“No!  Second chances are something you earn Inuyasha!  You’ve done nothing to earn it.”  She replied.

“Then tell me what I have to do!”  An obviously frustrated hanyou shouted.

“I have.”  She told him quietly.

Ready to completely lose his temper, Inuyasha stopped then backed away, glaring first at her then everyone else.  Realizing he was going to get no help from any of them he glowered at them then turned and walked into the trees.

Waiting until he was sure Inuyasha was well out of hearing range, Sesshomaru slipped an arm around her waist and pulled her back against his chest.  “Are you alright Kagome?”  He asked gently.

Letting out a ragged breath, she slumped a bit and nodded, “Yeah, I’m fine.  Thanks Sesshomaru.”

Showing a gentleness only the little priestess knew he was capable of, he turned her around and held her to his chest, gently stroking her back.  “You did well Kagome.”  He told her softly.  “I think you got across what you needed to.”

“Hey!  Now you two don’t have to hide your relationship anymore!  That’s a plus.”  Sango said, grinning.

“True!”  Kagome said with a smile.  But somewhere in her something hurt at the pain she knew she had caused Inuyasha.

“Don’t feel guilty Kagome.”  Miroku said, stepping forward.  “Sometimes to heal, pain is needed.”  He said wisely.

“I know.”  She said softly, eyes shut, clinging to Sesshomaru.