Kryptonite

By Danyealle

(fanfiction/MF/HC/Abuse)

Chapter 18

Long after Kouga and Kagome were back to sleep the taiyoukai was still awake.  No, he didn’t think the boy would be back that night nor did he think any other danger would present its self.  What he needed was some peace and quiet to think.

In a way he was grateful the whelp had made an appearance so early on.  Because they hadn’t been together long they were all still a bit on their toes more than they usually would be, that was a bit of an edge.  If the whelp had waited a while they would have been relaxed and not as alert to danger as they were now. It was also giving them an early heads up as to what was going on.  With that they might be able to find a way to work around things.  Perhaps the hentai houshi knew a way to break through a spell that would reveal the whelp’s aura once more.  But he wondered if doing that would negate the one Kagome wore as well.  That, he most certainly didn’t want.  Keeping her hidden the best he could was paramount.

Next thought that came to him was that the decision had to be made as to which was more important:  the hunt for Naraku or fixating on what the hanyou may be up to and where he was. As he well knew fighting on two fronts was not something anyone could win.  That was basic military knowledge.  They had to focus on only one.  To him it was a no brainer: Naraku, and his elimination, could and would be the focus.  Inuyasha, though a real concern, would only be dealt with when he had to be, not something that should draw their attention from the spider.  Nor could he let the boy draw their attention away.  To do that would only aid Naraku in many ways.  By now he was sure the arachnid hanyou was well aware of what had happened between the miko and hanyou thus sure to try to use it to his advantage anyway in some devious way so they most certainly didn’t need the whelp further adding to the confusion of the whole situation.  The pack would need to be made to understand that.  But, he was sure, there was no way to shift the little priestess’s focus away from the boy after the nights events, something he could understand and appreciate.

Looking down at the little onna curled up to his chest, he gave a soft sigh.  Just when she was starting to relax a bit the thing she had been most worried about had shown up.  But, again, he was glad it was now and not later on.  With the hand that wasn’t holding her, he reached out and gently stroked down the side of her face with two fingers. ‘So beautiful’ was his thought as he looked down into her placid, sleeping face. His beast added a soft, possessive ‘Ours!’ to his thoughts.  That was something he agreed with.  She was, indeed, theirs.  That, he was sure, she knew as well.

On the heels of that came a question: does he care for Kagome beyond the friendship they shared before taking her from the boy?  He didn’t even have to think about that one, the answer was yes.  And a great deal too.  Was it love was the next question that came to mind.  Even after several minutes of deep, contemplative thought that was something he didn’t know the answer to.  Nor did he think he would have that answer any time soon.  That was his feeling on the subject anyway.  But why he knew that he wasn’t certain.  Though he didn’t know the answer to that question he did know several other things.

The first one was that he very much did enjoy having her around him all the time.  She brought a bit of light and fun to his life much the way Rin had when she first joined up with him.  Just in a different way is all.  She was also easy to be around.  He could remember back to the first few encounters he had with her and realized his initial impression of her had been wrong and based on a long held prejudice that had clouded his judgment.  Oh yes, he would concede that she was loud and mouthy but she wasn’t the fool he had thought her to be.  In fact, she was far from it and probably among the most intelligent beings he had ever met.  Later on he learned, because of contacts that involved Rin when she was sick or injured, that she was kind and caring as well.

Initially it had been him that had sought her out.  Rin had come down with some kind of illness that, no matter what he had done, she wasn’t getting any better.  He had been about to take the child to the fortress when he had sensed the half-breed’s pack near by.  Over the course of his travels and times he had stumbled across the pack he had heard what a good healer the miko had become so he decided to let her see if she could help.  His logic on the topic had been that as a ningen she might recognize a ningen illness better than his healer would.

When he ad stepped into the whelp’s camp that time and asked for the miko to accompany him, all the pack members had been on edge, especially her.  But when he told her Rin was ill all her apprehension had been gone and she was ready to go.  In fact, both of them were out of camp before the boy could do more than sputter. 

When they arrived at where his camp was he had quickly learned his logic had been right.  The little priestess had known exactly what was wrong with the child and how to deal with it.  She had even upbraided him and Jaken for not getting her treatment sooner and not having some of the fundamental things the human child needed in cooler weather, something that made him arch an eyebrow at her.  He had wanted to retort snidely but held his tongue on the matter until he heard her out.  When she was done he understood that, to an extent, she was right; there were things the child had needed that he nor Jaken had known to provide.

Because the child had a severe case of the flu and it would take more care than just one dose of medicine to cure, for the first time he had joined up with the whelp’s pack so the miko and slayer could help care for her.  This was not something she had to do, she could have easily given him the medicine and instructions on what to do then left it at that.  But she didn’t.  instead she cared for the child for three days, including cooking special meals for her.  Along with that she made sure he and Jaken both knew just what the child needed to stay healthy.  In the end she had also given up her own sleeping bag to Rin until she could get one for the child next time she went home.  He had been impressed!

True to her word, the next time she went home she did bring back a sleeping bag for Rin.  And much more.  They boy’s pack had shown up where they had been camped the one night so the little miko could give his ward the new sleeping bag and other things she had brought for her.  Of course, she had brought some art supplies and toys like she always had her kit as well as some snacks and candy for all three of them.  But she had also brought along some warm winter clothes and boots for the child.  Sheepishly, she had admitted they were used, having been hers when she was a child, but he had been most pleased with them any way.  Along with all that she had brought other things such as a tent for the girl to use when the weather was bad.  She had gone over the instructions with him on how to erect it.  Along with that she had given him a pack full of dried and instant foods for the girl as well as a bunch of fresh fruits and vegetable for all of them. Also, she had assembled a first aid kit filled with all the things he would need to treat minor injuries and illnesses as well as ‘vitamins’ for the child to take to help keep her healthy.  To say he had been stunned was an understatement!  Yes, she had asked or something in return, that his ward and the kit be allowed to play together once in a while, but that was all.  From that point on the little miko had held a special place in his life and he could say that’s when their friendship had begun.

After that, each meeting they had strengthened that impression.  She was good with the children, that much was quite evident.  But even with him and Jaken she was friendly, treating them the same way she did everyone else.  Over time she had learned the kinds of food and snacks the two of them liked and would bring them along as well when she would bring stuff for Rin, never once asking for anything in return.

Looking down at his left arm, he flexed the hand then looked down at her peaceful, sleeping face.  It was her that had restored his severed arm.  No, restored wasn’t the right word, grown him a whole new one was a more accurate description.  One night, while the packs had been merged for a couple days, she had pulled him aside and offered to ‘regrow’ it for him.  She had said it was because they were going to need all the help they could get to defeat Naraku.  Almost as an afterthought she had added that she felt bad about her part in the incident that had caused him to lose it in the first place.  Knowing her, the latter reason was probably her primary motivation for the offer. Not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, he let her do it.  And she had done so rather quickly and easily.  But he had been stunned and astounded by the power she had shown when she did it.  Of course, it had exhausted her and she had fallen asleep right afterwards for the night.  But that was his first real example of the kind of power she had and it had served to strengthen the growing friendship between them.  After that he found himself spending time with her, just talking.  He found he liked not only those conversations but her as well.  The miko then began to hold a very special place in his life.

From almost the beginning he knew the little priestess loved the half-breed.  He was sure that almost everyone that knew them could tell as well.  She did everything for the boy that he could ever possibly want and then some.  But, for a while anyway, he wondered if the Kikyo issue might be the end of it.  However, it had seemed that the relationship had survived it despite the fact that the dead one was still around. 

Then the two had finally taken the step that all their friends had waited for; they had become mates.  Of course, he had given his consent.   Even though Inuyasha was in self-exile from his title and any duties that come from it, it was still required he approve the mating.  Though he had some reservations about the whole thing he kept them to himself, something he was now second guessing of course.  At the time, he knew she probably wouldn’t have listened to anything he had to say, thinking the boy had changed, but he now still wished he had said something.  At the time he knew she wouldn’t have listened but later on, before things got too bad, she may have done something or, at the very least, left those damn beads on him.

As the whelp’s face once more floated to mind he gave an internal growl then forced himself to focus on something else”  what all had to start being done.  Once he fully had his mind off the whelp and had calmed down, he settled back and got as comfortable as possible then once more began to slip back to sleep.

…ks…ks…ks…ks…

Ok, he was furious, that much was obvious to Kagome.  Yes, she would admit it had been a fairly bad day.  First, it had rained most of it, making it so they hadn’t been able to move much at all.  Not only that, but the downpour had washed away the trail and signs they had been following.  Then Kouga had shown up.  Despite her being mated with Inuyasha now the wolf demon still persisted with the ‘his woman’ bit, offering to take her away from Inuyasha.  Yes, he was well aware that they were mated but he did it anyway.  She was sure it was just to get under Inuyasha’s skin.  It usually worked too, driving her mate mad just like it always had in the past.  Then, once they were able to get moving the beings they had been following were long gone, all signs of them washed away.  The final straw had been there was no ramen left.  She was supposed to be going home in a couple days to restock supplies, one of them ramen which they had run out of a few days before as he was well aware, and he knew that but not having his favorite food infuriated him.

They had eaten, mostly in silence because of Inuyasha’s bad mood had been felt by all, and then she and he had left camp to spend some time alone.

But when they found a small clearing a ways from camp he didn’t calm down and chill like he usually did.  Instead he went on a tirade about everything that had gone on that day.  The longer he went on, the madder he seemed to get.  Eventually all of it, from the bad weather to Kouga’s appearance, was blamed on her.

He had started out snarling before progressing to yelling finally to screaming at her while she had been backed up against a tree, utterly petrified, with him in her face.  When he got to the topic of Kouga he was all but infuriated, face flushed red.  Terrified, she had shut her eyes and turned her face away. 

Grabbing her jaw, claws digging into her flesh, he forced her face him.  “Look at me!”  He had hissed.

To scared to disobey, she had opened her eyes and looked at him.  Almost nose to nose with her, golden eyes almost molten with fury, he snarled, “I told you not to get too friendly with that wild animal Kagome!”   Teeth clenched tight, he hissed, “You want him, is that it?  You seem to from what I see.  Your eyes sure get all sparkly when you look at him!”

She desperately tried to sputter out a denial and calm him down but it didn’t work.  Digging his claws in until there were drops of blood, he snarled then yelled, “Well, you can’t have him!  You’re MINE!  Never forget that!”  Then he backed handed her hard enough in the face that she was sure her teeth had rattled in their sockets.  “You’re MY bitch!  Mine!”  He bellowed.

Unable to help herself, because of the pain and pure fear, she had burst into tears, sobbing loudly.  That had seemed to pull him back from his rage.  Horrified by what he had done, he pulled her into a hug and repeatedly apologized to her, searing he would never, ever lay a hand on her again.

Gently, he had sat down on the ground with her on his lap.  Cuddling her to him, he did his best to sooth her, licking the wounds he had left on her to heal them.  Afterwards, he had made love to her, his version of it anyway.  But he didn’t realize she hated the act and it hurt.  From the look of things he wasn’t going to stop until she had an orgasm, something he generally didn’t worry about, so when he began pressing her to cum for him she did something she never had done before, faked it.

Waking up in a cold sweat, thrashing around, Kagome tried to pull free from the being that had a hold of her, Terrified, Kagome let out a panic ‘eep’, continuing to struggle.

…ks…ks…ks…ks…

Sesshomaru was immodestly awake when she started thrashing around.  Sensing the fear wafting off her, he held her close to him.  “Calm down Kagome.  I’m here and won’t let anything happen to you.”  He assured her quietly, holding her close, gently rubbing her back.

It took her a couple minutes to realize the being that had a hold of her wasn’t the same one that was in her dream.  Once that realization set in, she went limp in his arms, heart hammering in her chest, breathing as though she had been running at top speed.

Holding her closer to his chest, Sesshomaru ran his fingers through her hair.  Thrumming a soft rumble in his chest, he tried to get her to calm down.  “You’re safe Kagome.  I have you and won’t let anything happen to you.”  He told her softly, trying to reassure her.

Clutching on to him tightly, eyes shut; she tried to calm down but couldn’t seem to manage it.  If it had been a normal nightmare she would be able to get a handle on it and start to put it aside but what was in that dream wasn’t a real dream but a replay in vivid detail of the first time Inuyasha had hit her.  Seeing him again had triggered her fears of what he would do to her if he got a hold of her once more.  That, and the feral look in his eyes when he was staring down at her, had resurrected the ‘dream’ from her memory.  Now she couldn’t seem to shake the vivid imagery of it as it replayed over and over.  Her body also seemed to ‘remember’ what had happened to it because where he had hit her and the places his claws had dug into her flesh hurt as though they were new injuries even though nothing was there.  Putting a hand on the side of her face where she had been struck, she whimpered softly, her face buried in his chest.

Sensing that she wasn’t calming down at all, he wasn’t really sure what to do beyond what he already was.  “I’m here Kagome, nothing will happen to you while I have a hold of you.”  He once more reassured her gently.  “It was just a nightmare, nothing more.  It can’t hurt you.”

Shaking her head, she replied quietly, “It was no dream.”

Putting a hand on the back of her neck, he gently rubbed it.  “Talk to me Kagome… If you talk about it, it may exorcise it and you’ll feel better.”  He told her.

“I’m not ready for that yet.”  She all but whispered.

“I understand.”  He told her, nodding.  “When you are I’ll be more than willing to listen to you.”  He assumed from what had happened that night and her reaction to it that the ‘dream’ had to be about the whelp and some of what he had done to her so he wasn’t going to press the issue.  She would talk about it in her own time. 

Curling up a little tighter to him, she pulled the mokomoko around her a bit tighter and snuggled down into it a bit more.  “Can I stay like this for the rest of the night?”  She asked quietly.

Giving her a little bit of a squeeze, he nodded.  “Of course.  I’ll hold you as long as you wish.”  He told her.  Just relax and try to get some rest.  Nothing or no one will harm you while I have you.”  He again reassured her.

Nodding to let him know she heard him and understood, she tried to make herself relax and focus on something else even though she was fairly certain that it wasn’t going to work any time soon.

…sk…sk…sk…sk…

As he had anticipated, it took her a long time to fall back to sleep.  Even when she did finally manage it, it most certainly was quite disturbed.  The best he could do was just hold her close and let her know he was still there.

Once he felt she was as deeply asleep as he felt she was going to get he let his mind wander to what she said about it ‘not being a dream’.  By deductive reasoning he guessed what she may well be referring to is that it was a memory of some kind, most likely about some of the things the boy had done to her.  As much as he felt that he could very easily, and pleasantly, live with only know what was done to her by the injuries he had seen and been told about, not hearing from her what as done, he felt that, really, he did need to hear what had happened to her if, for no other reason, than to know just what she was dealing with.  Without that information, just generalities, he really didn’t know just what he had to deal with.  At this point he knew she had been physically and sexually hurt and guessed that there was emotional as well but really he didn’t know how much was done and how bad it was.  How could he deal with the damage and try to fix it if he didn’t know how bad it was?  Truthfully, he couldn’t.  Not effectively anyway.  So he would have to get her to tell him.

Deciding he needed to hear about it was the easy part of it.  Getting her to talk about it wasn’t going to be.  Kagome had been, and still was to an extent, very free when it came to talking about her life.  But, it seemed, that didn’t extend to what had happened with the boy.  She would give a generality like ‘he hurt me’ but would clam up when asked for details.  Even with him.  It was obvious she didn’t want to talk about it.  Now he would have to tackle that reluctance and find a way to work around it like he had when she was reluctant to talk about what was bothering her.  But he was going to have to tread lightly.  One misstep and she was likely to calm up tighter, making it all the harder to get the information he felt he need to know.

Sighing softy, he looked down at the little onna that was cradled to his chest.  Yes, she was making his life far more complicated than it had been.  But, really, no matter how complicated his life would become it couldn’t compare to the hell and nightmare she had, and still was to an extent, going through because of Inuyasha.  She had suffered more than his life had and would change.  When he got frustrated with some things in the future he was going to have to remember that.

Brushing her hair off her forehead, he gazed at her face.  “You, Kagome, have caused chaos in my life but will be worth it I feel.”  He told her very quietly.  “Never fear miko, you will always be safe with this Sesshomaru.”  He said, hoping she would hear him in her sleep.