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{\pntxtb (}{\pntxta )}}\pard\plain \ltrpar\qc \li0\ri0\sa200\sl276\slmult1\widctlpar\wrapdefault\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\adjustright\rin0\lin0\itap0\pararsid5463113 \rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs22\alang1025 \ltrch\fcs0 \fs22\lang1033\langfe1033\loch\af37\hich\af37\dbch\af37\cgrid\langnp1033\langfenp1033 {\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid5463113 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 ********************}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid11868315 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 CHAPTER TWO}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid5463113 \par }\pard \ltrpar\ql \li0\ri0\sa200\sl276\slmult1\widctlpar\wrapdefault\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\adjustright\rin0\lin0\itap0\pararsid10970377 {\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 I can't say that married life agreed with me, but it didn't take long for us both to establish our respective boundaries and learn to give each other a really wide berth. We never shared a bedroom except during our honeym\hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 \hich\f39 oon, but somehow we completed our filial duty and quickly produced a pair of heirs, a daughter and then a son. Odd that\'85\loch\f39 we\hich\f39 \rquote \loch\f39 d only shared a bed on two occasions, the week of our honeymoon, resulting in Helena, who arrived a few weeks premature (anot}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid11868315 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 her od\hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 dity), and a particularly }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid11868315\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 anomalous}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 night a few years later when we\hich\f39 \rquote \loch\f39 d both had a bit too much to drink and had an accident}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid11868315 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 , and spent the night together in bed}{ \rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 . \par \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 Helena is cut from pretty much the exact same cloth as her mother and is already a snob and a c\hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 lothes horse and treats everyone around her like dirt under her feet. I\hich\f39 \rquote \loch\f39 ve tried my best, but she\hich\f39 \rquote \loch\f39 s her mother\hich\f39 \rquote \loch\f39 s girl and doesn\hich\f39 \rquote \loch\f39 t listen to a thing I tell her. Our daughter looks absolutely }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid11868315 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 nothing}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 like me and if I were to place a bet, I\hich\f39 \rquote \loch\f39 d wager that a D\hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 NA test would show her to be the by-product of Livonia\hich\f39 \rquote \loch\f39 s old boyfriend, whom she had allegedly spent her own last week of freedom constantly in bed with. }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid11868315 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 I see no that she and her family had taken precautions to already nullify my hope of getting a fast d\hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 ivorce in just five years! }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 I\hich\f39 \rquote \loch\f39 d hoped to catch the two }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid11868315 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 lovers }{ \rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 in an affair }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid11868315 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 sometime }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 afterwards, but he\hich\f39 \rquote \loch\f39 d made himself very scarce}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid11868315 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 after the wedding. }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 I think her family found her pretty boy a job far out}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid11868315 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 of town}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \loch\af39\dbch\af37\hich\f39 \'85\loch\f39 and out of the way. If my wife had other n\hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 ew lovers, she kept them well hidden.}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377 \par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid11868315 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 Sure, I could have had a DNA test done and called in the lawyers, but the prenup was pretty firm that unless the marriage lasted for at least five years, at minimum, I wouldn\hich\f39 \rquote \loch\f39 t receive my complete independence and full \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 possession the plant. Very grudgingly, I decided to save this ace in the hole for my ten year }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10699520 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 divorce plans.}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid11868315\charrsid10970377 \par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 My son Orson is very definitely mine, and he\hich\f39 \rquote \loch\f39 s intelligent but quiet and tends to already be a bookworm and is of a very philosophical bent. "}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid11868315 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 Why\hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 ?}{ \rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 " was nearly the first word out of his mouth as a tot and remains close to the tip of his tongue even today. Unlike his older sister and mother, he finds society vapid, and also unlike either of them he says please and thank you to the household staff! \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 I try to be a good father to him and always make time in my busy schedule to spend time with both children whenever possible. }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid11868315 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 Orson is really the only good thing that I\hich\f39 \rquote \loch\f39 ll ever fondly remember this marriage for.}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \par \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 Their mother is much less hands-on, and pr\hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 efers to be a remote figure in their lives and she keeps herself well insulated from the inconveniences of child rearing with the aid of an army of nurses and nannies. Already there are murmurings of sending Helena off to boarding school next fall, an ap \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 p\hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 alling notion that I am dead against. Snooty private schools certainly never improved anyone in my family that I can recall, and our young bitch in training already has her nose }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid11868315 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 far }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 too highly held in the air for my taste! \par \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 Livonia occupies her time exclus\hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 ively with social events of the Country Club }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid11868315 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 and society }{ \rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 circuit}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid11868315 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 s}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 and maintains our }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid11868315 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 far-too-}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 large, }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid11868315 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 and appallingly }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 over-decorated house as a local showplace. }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid11868315 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 She entertains constantly or attends other parties several nights a week, but I don't think she \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 has a single true friend. Her so called girlfriends all seem to my eyes to be social rivals instead. They\hich\f39 \rquote \loch\f39 ll all \hich\f39 \lquote \loch\f39 frenemies\hich\f39 \rquote \loch\f39 as the younger generation would say. I think it is a sad and pathetic existence living from one social engagement to the next \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 a\hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 nd I make myself absent from her side as much as possible.}{ \rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid11868315 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 On a good week, we never even catch a glimpse of each other.}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \par \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 My life for these }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10699520 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 first }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 ten years of marriage consisted of work, more work, and spending a few stolen minutes with my children, and plo\hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 tting with the help of a more than obliging domestic staff, paths in and out of my house that did not cross my wife's. We have very separate bedrooms in opposite corners of the house}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10699520 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 and don\hich\f39 \rquote \loch\f39 t even take meals together usually}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 . I used to keep a foldaway b \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 ed in the back of my office at the pickle plant but a few years ago I decided that I needed something nicer as a more permanent hiding place and quietly obtained a small flat quite near within walking distance of the plant. \par \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 No gaudy modern design features \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 for me. }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10699520 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 Since Livonia hates anything 'old', which even includes expensive antiques (I swear that woman has absolutely no taste whatsoever), I decorated my}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10699520 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 new}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10699520 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 sanctum sanctorum}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 in the English Edwardian and Art Deco styles, of select chosen antiques of Eng\hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 lish golden oak. Nothing modern whatsoever in this house, except for the bathroom and the kitchen! Livonia would be horrified. }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10699520 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 Hercule Poirot or Lord Peter W}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 imsey, however, would feel right at home. \par \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 My eccentricity for all things vintage also began to i\hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 nclude my dressing habits. It started off just as just another means to further irritate my wife. I'll wear plus-fours most days to the plant, as if I were off instead to a highland golf }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10699520 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 match. If more formal }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 is required then nothing could top a proper \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 Victorian Morning Suit, complete with top hat and silver tipped gentleman\hich\f39 \rquote \loch\f39 s cane. I've never been invited to a Royal Ascot but if I ever am some day, at least I'll be properly dressed to greet the Queen. \par \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 My young nieces and nephews all love this. They see\hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 me as an eccentric rebel against the upper-crust establishment of our family and indeed they're right. Besides, I don't have the patience or the desire to get myself inked up and covered with body piercings the way they mostly show their rebellion. }{ \rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10699520 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 I'd \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 \hich\f39 like to think my way is a little more subtle and perhaps a lot more effective. They also love me because I'm just about the only member of the family that actually has any real money of my own, and I'm a notorious soft touch\'85\loch\f39 to the few younger ones tha\hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 t\hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 are willing to work or get good grades in school. \par \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 Don't get me wron}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10699520 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 g, most of our disaffected Gen-Y}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 generation family members share much of the same greed and sloth that their parents have, but at least some of them are 'interesting'. A few of them just \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 have bad habits rather than bad personalities and I try to gently steer them towards a more productive path. \par \par }\pard \ltrpar\qc \li0\ri0\sa200\sl276\slmult1\widctlpar\wrapdefault\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\adjustright\rin0\lin0\itap0\pararsid10699520 {\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 ****************** \par }\pard \ltrpar\ql \li0\ri0\sa200\sl276\slmult1\widctlpar\wrapdefault\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\adjustright\rin0\lin0\itap0\pararsid10970377 {\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 The pickle plant pretty much runs itself these days and turns a substantial profit for me, enough to keep Livonia in the style \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 to which she is very much accustomed, and even a bit more besides. It is the dance school that gives me the most pleasure these days. I had rescued the chain of schools mostly out of a sense of nostalgia for what it had been back in the heyday of the 19 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 5\hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 0's. The once nationwide chain was down to a pitiful handful of dilapidated run-down schools and gasping its last breaths on financial life support before I rescued it, but I was just in the nick of time. \par \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 With a bit of modernization, some clever advertisi\hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 ng and a good franchise marketing plan, howev}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10699520 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 er, the business }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 rose again to nearly its old fame}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10699520 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 and prestige}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 ! Today, the chain has once again spread across the country and I have a waiting list of nearly fifty potential new franchise operators wishing to \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 buy in over the next fiscal year. Oh, how the money rolls in! \par \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 My sister never saw the success that her former possession had become. She blew most of her payout from Aunt Millicent either up her nose or into her veins. About six months after the transf\hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 er she was found dead from an overdose, naked in the men's bathroom at some after-hours party at a sleazy unlicensed underground club. The family tried to keep the }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10699520 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 sordid }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 details from the media but everyone worth knowing knew anyway. She wasn't the first \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 in our family to go out that way and she wouldn't be the last. Self-destruction seems to run deep in our family veins. \par \par }\pard \ltrpar\qc \li0\ri0\sa200\sl276\slmult1\widctlpar\wrapdefault\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\adjustright\rin0\lin0\itap0\pararsid10699520 {\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 ******************* \par }\pard \ltrpar\ql \li0\ri0\sa200\sl276\slmult1\widctlpar\wrapdefault\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\adjustright\rin0\lin0\itap0\pararsid10970377 {\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 I had been married for just }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid2518325 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 over nine }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 years and mentally counting down }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid2518325 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 minutes to when I could file for my \hich\f39 \lquote \loch\f39 No-Fau\hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 lt\hich\f39 \rquote \loch\f39 divorce}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 , when I had an interesting visitor in my office, a Rube Wasserman from Wasserman Investigations, a fairly prominent private investigation firm. I'd even used him once or twice myself when checking out the bona fides of several local investors \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 who were interested at one point in buying one of my F&G franchises. He had the reputation for being a straight shooter and was as honest as you could be in that sometimes dirty profession. He went straight to the point with little preamble. \par \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 "Mr. Piper, \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 I need to tell you now that what I am about to tell you probably violates both my own code of ethics and the legal responsibilities I have to a previous client. I'm not at all pleased about having to do this and having to make this moral choice, but on t \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 h\hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 e other hand I find that I also cannot just pretend ignorance of certain facts. I had planned to give you this information anonymously, originally, to keep both my hands and my conscience clean, but new important circumstances make it imperative that I p \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 r\hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 esent you immediately with all of the pertinent details." Wordy and a bit formal, but sincere. \par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid2518325 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 I }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 cancelled all of my appointments for the rest of the day and made sure that my faithful secretary kept the drawbridge up and everyone far away from my office f\hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 or the remainder of the day. }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid2518325 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 Rube's information was indeed important and extremely pertinent to my interests, future health and well-being. \par \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 To condense three hours of material into a few paragraphs of lean text would seem near hopeless to accomplish in an\hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 y meaningful manner, but I'll give it a stab. \par \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 About six months ago, Rube had been hired by my wife to thoroughly investigate me in the hopes of finding incontrovertible evidence to show that I had violated one of the two morals clauses in our prenup agreem \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 ent. To prove that I was either having an}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid2518325 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 affair or that sufficient }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 evidence could be found that could get me convicted of a felony crime}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid2518325 \loch\af39\dbch\af37\hich\f39 \'85\loch\f39 and soon! }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 Rube performed his usual exhaustive investigation and }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid2518325 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 reported that }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 couldn't find the slightest evidence \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 of either. I was squeaky clean, he said. \par \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 To say this displeased my wife would be an understatement. Apparently, Rube had not been the first investigator over the years to strike out. She was apparently now desperate to find something \hich\f39 \emdash \loch\f39 anything \hich\f39 \emdash \loch\f39 to use\hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 to take me to the financial cleaners }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid2518325 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 before my ten-year deadline arrived}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 ...}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid2518325 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 even to the extent now of }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 manufacturing and planting evidence to frame me.}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid2518325 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 Yes, they were that desperate!}{ \rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \par \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 Rube, who as I said was a moral man and honest operator, declined to hav\hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 e any role in this and dismissed himself from}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid13048583 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 any further contact with her}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 .... but not before starting an investigation of his own upon her. Livonia had now contacted a new agency of less than sterling reputation and made several large payments to them fo\hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 r the alleged manufacture and planting of evidence upon me. Their plans were well-advanced and the trap was expected to be sprung soon! \par \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 The trap was actually two-fold. Since I had never engaged in any extra-marital relationships, an association of this s\hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 ort would have to be created. At some future advantageous time, I would be drugged, taken to a well-lit hotel room suitable for candid photography and placed into the talented embraces of a well-paid prostitute. In addition, compromising paperwork sugge \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 s\hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 ting illegal payments to my plant\hich\f39 \rquote \loch\f39 s labor union to prevent a work stoppage would be secreted in my office and a slush fund of 'hot money' traceable allegedly to organized crime would be placed in my office safe. Other evidence suggesting money laundering\hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 and illegal payoffs to crime figures and notorious politicians would complete my depiction as a criminal low life and well in violation of my prenup, just before some anonymous calls and tips were placed to police and federal law enforcement officials. \par \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 Wit\hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 h even half of this material,.. I had no doubt that she could and would totally take me to the cleaners in any divorce settlement. }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid13048583 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 The tide had turned a bit and currently her family needed the preferential terms of the inter-family business arrangement mo\hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 re than mine did! Still, if they \hich\f39 \lquote \loch\f39 won\hich\f39 \rquote \loch\f39 I\hich\f39 \rquote \loch\f39 d lose t}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 he pickle plant at the very minimum.}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid13048583 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \par \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 Rube did have at least once piece of good news. Livonia was in fact undoubtedly having an affair of her own. They had}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid13048583 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 been extremely }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid13048583\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 discrete}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 so far, enough so that \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 Rube as of now did not have anything particularly useful that would be suitable for presentation in court. Still, he had expectations. Both of the lover's cell phones had been cloned and he was }{ \rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid13048583 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 already }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 monitoring their every move. When they were ready t\hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 o strike, he would be also. \par \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 I offered Rube a considerable amount of payment for his time and effort of my behalf so far, but he accepted only a $1 token retainer. \par \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 "The bitch}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid13048583 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 called me a Jewish }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 ethnic }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid13048583 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 slur when she fired me." H}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 e said simply. "My niece has\hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 worked in your plant for eight years now and says you know the name of every single worker and treat the}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid13048583 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 m right}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \loch\af39\dbch\af37\hich\f39 \'85\loch\f39 and they all know what you did to save their jobs! Unlike most of the members of your family, you're a good man Mr. Piper, and it just wouldn\hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 't be right to let them get away with this shit." We shook hands and agreed to remain in contact daily. \par }\pard \ltrpar\qc \li0\ri0\sa200\sl276\slmult1\widctlpar\wrapdefault\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\adjustright\rin0\lin0\itap0\pararsid13048583 {\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \par \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 ***************** \par }\pard \ltrpar\ql \li0\ri0\sa200\sl276\slmult1\widctlpar\wrapdefault\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\adjustright\rin0\lin0\itap0\pararsid10970377 {\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 With the help of my secretary and a few other very trusted employees that had been with me from the very start, we conducted a series\hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 of late night exhaustive searches to examine all of our records going back over a decade to remove any }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid13048583 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 possible }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 planted evidence. It was all easily found, but we kept looking }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid13048583 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 some more }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 anyway just to be safe. No money had been planted into my safe yet a\hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 nd with Rube's more than able assistance we installed a set of hidden security cameras that covered the entrance to my office and everything inside it, including clear views of my personal file cabinets and my safe. Rube\hich\f39 \rquote \loch\f39 s team also installed }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid13048583 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 hidden }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 camer \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 a}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid13048583 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 s}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 covering my private little apartment, just in case our opponents decided to get clever and plant evidence, or a naked woman, there as well. \par \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 There wasn't}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid13048583 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 much left to do now but wait}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 ... and we didn't have to }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid13048583 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 sit on our hands worrying too}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 much longer. \par \par }\pard \ltrpar\qc \li0\ri0\sa200\sl276\slmult1\widctlpar\wrapdefault\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\adjustright\rin0\lin0\itap0\pararsid13048583 {\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 ** \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 ************** \par }\pard \ltrpar\ql \li0\ri0\sa200\sl276\slmult1\widctlpar\wrapdefault\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\adjustright\rin0\lin0\itap0\pararsid10970377 {\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 The day of my niece Veronica's wedding was the day selected by my wife to spring her }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid13048583 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 first }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 set of traps}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid13048583 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 on me}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 . }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid13048583 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 Her lover, one of my cousins that I had a particular dislike for, could barely contain his smirking when we greeted him at the ch\hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 urch on that chilly and rainy April afternoon. The}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid13048583 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 plan had originally been for an outdoor }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 garden wedding }{ \rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid13048583 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 at The Gardens }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 but due to the constant drizzle, most of the festivities were now being moved indoors to the large church hall. \par \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 By}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid13048583 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 means of a brief ex\hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 planation, }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 The Gardens were a preferred local site for }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid13048583 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 most of the better outdoor held }{ \rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 functions in our city. They were famous botanically and deservedly so. The grounds were situated exactly between two different churches, or rather a church and a synag\hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 ogue}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid13048583 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 that shared a 40 acre suburban lot}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 . A masterpiece of interfaith cooperation, the two groups combined to purchase the rather large parcel}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid13048583 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 of land in-between them and all around }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 them and then created a clever plan to }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid11290495 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 jointly develop and }{ \rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 use the propert\hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 y. The front area between them becoming became a shared parking lot and the sides and the extensive back lots becoming were transformed into a large children's play area, picnic grounds, gazebos and a superb nationally famous botanical garden with large \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 f\hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 ish ponds and numerous mazes of shrubbery. \par \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 Dressed up in full Morning Suit, I was naturally mistaken for either a misplaced undertaker or the }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid11290495 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 event }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 florist by Veronica's wedding planner. To make the frazzled woman happy I agreed to help move all of the fl\hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 oral arrangements }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid11290495 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 inside }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 fr}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid11290495 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 om the tents outdoors to }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 the church. I didn't mind. It kept me busy and away from family. Our family never }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid11290495 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 ever}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 notices a servant, so this made me effectively invisible. \par \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 Just as well. While relocating one particular display o\hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 f flowers to the care of the bride's mother, I learned far more about the blushing bride's sexual habits than I would have preferred to know about. Particularly, she was uncertain as to whether she should discontinue seeing most of her other boyfriends a \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 f\hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 ter the wedding and just stick with a few favorites. She especially was looking forward to her honeymoon which would feature one of her especially well endowed lovers in the hotel room right across the hall}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid11290495 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 from the newlyweds}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 , so that she could have }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid11290495 \loch\af39\dbch\af37\hich\f39 \lquote }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid11290495 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 suit\hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 able entertainment}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid11290495 \loch\af39\dbch\af37\hich\f39 \rquote }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 when her new husband was otherwise indisposed. \par \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 Obviously, another of my Aunt's arranged marriages for money and influence rather than love. I hope that the poor cuckold }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid11290495 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 husband } {\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 insisted on a good prenup}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid11290495 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 like I had}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 . I made a mental not\hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 e to have Rube check on the pertinent financial details and if the poor bastard was still married to her in a few years to }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid11290495 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 help}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 him work out some sort of legal escape plan for the poor sap. \par \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 Frightened of hearing any more family gossip that I'd prefer to re\hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 main ignorant about, I made my way back to the main reception area and after a tedious wedding ceremony, I watched my slut of a niece become shackled to her unsuspecting prey. \par \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 By now I needed a drink, and accepted every glass of champagne that my wife was \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 obligingly eager to pump into me. I did not}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid11290495 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 , however, drink from any of those}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 glasses, which I noticed were all being filled}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid11290495 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 by a particularly s}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 warmy looking waiter behind the bar and my drinks }{ \rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid11290495 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 also }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 seemed to come from an apparently }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid11290495 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 very }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 special bottle}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid11290495 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 un\hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 der the counter}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 ! \par \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 I'd pretend to sip and then quickly duck outside into the sole remaining tent outside, a remote one behind the back of the church and well away from any casual wandering guests in the light rain downpour, and I then }{ \rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid11290495 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 would }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 quickly pour the\hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 contents into a champagne fountain that I had previously emptied, but was soon filling up with the suspicious mixture. After six or ten refills the fountain now had enough liquid to spout away merrily and nothing seemed at all to be out of place. Rube \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 w\hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 as certain that this was part of the plan to drug me, and he let me know that our counter-plan was going perfectly! \par \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 Feigning some unsteadiness, I let my wife know that I was feeling a touch dizzy and would be finding someplace quiet to sit for a while. Sh\hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 e was unusually understanding and helped me find a quiet unused room off in a corner to sit, or rather appear to quickly pass out. I played unconscious and let her and her lover giggle and smirk at me for awhile and then }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid11290495 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 listened to them }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 kiss }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid11290495 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 passionately\hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 before they left me, laughing. I gave the lovers a good f}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid11290495 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 ive minutes to wander well }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 off in private before I snuck out of the room myself and proceeded to make myself good and well-hidden, out }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid11290495 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 onto}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 the wet garden grounds so that Rube and his folks could c\hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 omplete the rest of their assignments. \par \par }\pard \ltrpar\qc \li0\ri0\sa200\sl276\slmult1\widctlpar\wrapdefault\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\adjustright\rin0\lin0\itap0\pararsid11290495 {\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 **************** \par }\pard \ltrpar\ql \li0\ri0\sa200\sl276\slmult1\widctlpar\wrapdefault\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\adjustright\rin0\lin0\itap0\pararsid10970377 {\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 In good weather, there was no place better for holding an outdoor wedding celebration. I'd been here many times before and always managed to enjoy myself. }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid11290495 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 }{ \rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 This was the first time, however, that I \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 had seen both the church and the synagogue hosting weddings at the same time. Today, most of the church folks had moved the}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid11290495 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 ir}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 stuff inside from the tents, but the other wedding party at the synagogue had decided to not let the light rain otherwise dampen \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 their spirits and }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid11290495 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 they were}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 keeping most of their ac }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid11290495 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 tivities in the g}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 arden}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid11290495 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 s}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 . \par \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 It was here, standing as the mother of the bride, that I once again saw my old lover Linda, looking damp, but as radiant as she could be. I made a quick phone call to Rube to mak\hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 e a slight change of my plans for the afternoon and he assured me everything else was going exactly as anticipated. In fact, my wife and her lover had now slipped away from the reception to this private and sole remaining unused tent and were helping the \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 m\hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 selves to the recycled drugged champagne that I had so thoughtfully provided for them. If this }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid11290495 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 plan }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 hadn\hich\f39 \rquote \loch\f39 t worked, Rube had an \hich\f39 \lquote \loch\f39 insider\hich\f39 \rquote \loch\f39 waiter of his own that he could have used to drug the happy adulterers, but my simpler way had worked. They had now u\hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 nwittingly drugged themselves! \par \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 This had been part of their plan all along, according to the cell phone conversation we had recorded earlier. }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid11290495 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 Their crooked PI\hich\f39 \rquote \loch\f39 s would drug me at the reception and then the couple would find a private spot in one of the tent \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 s for some quick canoodling alone. Since there was only one remaining tent left outside for this reception, this certainly narrowed down their list of options. The rain, and a well-tipped waiter (a member of Rube's staff), would insure ensure that they \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 h\hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 ad privacy for their tryst. The excitement of hav}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid2570358 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 ing finally trapping }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 me had increased their ardor beyond the limits of patience and their otherwise extremely careful planning. Hopefully, Rube was getting some good video recordings from inside that tent,\hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 but it wasn't essential to our plan. \par \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 I had another of Rube's crew get me a nice unopened bottle of champagne and I scooted over to the other wedding reception to pay my respects to my long lost love. \par \par \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 ******************** \par \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 "You d}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid2570358 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 \hich\f39 idn't dance at my wedding.\'94\hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 I told her with just a hint of disappointment when I appeared at her side. \par \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 "Certainly not! I was a respectable married woman at that time and it would have been poor form to ravish the }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid2570358 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 obviously unhappy }{ \rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 groom right there on the dance floor in front of t\hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 he bride, not to mention the poor innocent flower girls.}{ \rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid2570358 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 Why did you marry that bitch anyway? Did you knock her up and were now feeling honorable?}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 "}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377 \par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid2570358 \loch\af39\dbch\af37\hich\f39 \'93\loch\f39 \hich\f39 Stupid family politics\'85\loch\f39 but she\hich\f39 \rquote \loch\f39 d taken the precaution of having her old boyfriend knock her up right bef\hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 ore the wedding. It was certainly a time-saver. I noticed that you didn\hich\f39 \rquote \loch\f39 \hich\f39 t invite me to yours either.\'94 \par \loch\af39\dbch\af37\hich\f39 \'93\loch\f39 Hell, I didn\hich\f39 \rquote \loch\f39 t really want to be at that wedding either, but I was already knocked up too and I sort of liked the father and he was wanting to stand up\hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 \hich\f39 and do the right thing for me and our daughter. It could have been worse.\'94}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid2570358\charrsid10970377 \par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 "Well, in that case}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid2570358 ,}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 shall we dance together at your daughter's wedding?" \par \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 "I thought you'd never ask!" \par \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 We danced every dance, fast and slow. Their synagogue was 'Reform' and did \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 allow mixed dancing for this reception. Not that it would have mattered, we'd have danced together anyway... no one could have stopped us. \par \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 We took one last dance together after the happy bride and groom made their departure and would have kept on dancing \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 even when the DJ packed up his gear and they turned the lights out on us later tha}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid2570358 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 t}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 evening. My cell phone had been vibrating nearly non-stop for the last half hour, but I }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid2570358 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 didn't care. Rube could wait}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \loch\af39\dbch\af37\hich\f39 \'85\loch\f39 being with her was far more important. \par \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 "I'd offer to\hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 continue this dance back at my humble abode and even be eager to assist you in removing all of your wet clothing, but alas, for at least}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid2570358 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 the next few weeks I am }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 obliged to act as a happily married man. That dance will soon be all over but the music will \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 begin to play once again, }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid2570358 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 soon afterwards }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 and with far merrier tune. Will you take that long dance together with me then?" I asked her with all of the sincerity in my heart. \par \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 "Darling, I will dance with you forever and for the rest of my life." \par \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 I could not\hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 take the chance of kissing her \hich\f39 \emdash \loch\f39 but our eyes knew what the other's heart was saying. With that, I took my leave of her and met an impatient Rube to supervise the final act of this sordid drama. \par \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 The divorce, }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid2570358 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 under grounds of marital misbehavior and }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 100% \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 on my terms was a mere formality now, and was swiftly concluded. The pickle plant was safe - and forever mine alone now. \par \par }\pard \ltrpar\qc \li0\ri0\sa200\sl276\slmult1\widctlpar\wrapdefault\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\adjustright\rin0\lin0\itap0\pararsid2570358 {\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 *************** \par }\pard \ltrpar\ql \li0\ri0\sa200\sl276\slmult1\widctlpar\wrapdefault\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\adjustright\rin0\lin0\itap0\pararsid10970377 {\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 The rather candid photos of my wife and her lover, my cousin, taken inside of the tent and later }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid2570358 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 that evening }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 of the t\hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 wo of them drugged at the same hotel room that had originally been intended for me, were more than }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid2570358 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 enough to cook their goose to the count of adultery}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 . }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid2570358 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 They were a bit confused to wake up the next morning to find that they'd drunk too much themselves, but\hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid2570358 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 this}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 didn't discourage them from engaging in a creative variety of very consentual sex acts, along with some unfortunately incriminating pillow talk}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid2570358 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 that our camera and microphone recorded }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid13324221 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 rather clearly}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 . }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid2570358 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid13324221 \par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 The family law judge was that more than complete\hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 ly satisfied the family}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid13324221 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 law judge into }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 upholding my interpretation of our prenup. I kept }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid13324221 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 all}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 of the family property, including our oversized mansion that I had no use for, and she just bare}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid13324221 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 ly kept her clothes and her }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 Mercedes automobile. }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid13324221 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 No alimony! }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 As \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 a parting gift, }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid13324221 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 the judge accepted my DNA evidence concerning }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 Helena}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid13324221 \loch\af39\dbch\af37\hich\f39 \rquote \loch\f39 s patrimony, giving her sole custody and he gave me}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 full custody }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid13324221 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 over}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 Orson, with no child support or maintenance by either party. }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid13324221 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 Normally not one husband and father would have escaped \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 family court with such a favorable ruling, but Rube had presented his evidence well and the wrinkled old battleaxe of a judge had been appalled by }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid13324221\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 Livonia}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid13324221 \loch\af39\dbch\af37\hich\f39 \rquote \loch\f39 s misdeeds, for which she (along with my cousin and half of her own family) were already waiting tria \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 l on numerous state and federal felonies. Those Interstate Commerce laws can be a bitch, if you break them. Not to mention racketeering! \par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 Stunned by my coup, and badly distracted by her other growing legal problems, she agreed. \par \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 It was gravy on the steak\hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 to find that my hidden office cameras identified a senior partner of her PI agency conducting an illegal break-in of my office door and clearly placing foreign files into my desk drawers and illegally obtained money into my safe. Faced with multiple stat \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 e\hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 and federal felony counts }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid13324221 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 of their own, }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 her slimy hirelings couldn't turn on the unhappy couple }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid13324221 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 and her father }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 fast enough. My soon to be ex-wife eventually plead to a reduced }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid13324221 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 state }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 felony sentence for fraud and tossed the rest of the blame upon her love\hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 r, who fared less favorably in court. }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid13324221 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 To avoid federal jail time, she had to end up testifying against her own family but she was smart enough to know dates and names and enough events to }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid6447677 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 end up shutting down her own family business. When she gets out of\hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 state prison in about another fifteen years, she\hich\f39 \rquote \loch\f39 ll move to federal witness protection because we\hich\f39 \rquote \loch\f39 re all certain that some unhappy \hich\f39 \lquote \loch\f39 family\hich\f39 \rquote \loch\f39 members will be looking for paybacks.}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid6447677 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 The rest of her}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 own family tried to take her side and played hardball with me\hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 for awhile, but we were ready for them. We documented each and every breach of contract carefully and when we had thought we had our case picture perfect I engaged an independent court appointed arbitrator, as was my contractual right, and smiled gleefu \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 l\hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 \hich\f39 ly while he sorted the mess out \'85\loch\f39 and entirely to our favor. Faced with huge financial penalties}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid6447677 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 (and sudden government interests in their finances)}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 , her family relented and we worked out an amenable parting of ways with a slightly less oppres}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid6447677 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 sive golden \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 handshake goodbye. I could have gotten more in court, but their business was falling apart and they money was starting to vanish, so I settled fast and took what I could get before the fed boys claimed everything else! \par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 I didn\hich\f39 \rquote \loch\f39 t need them anymore \hich\f39 \endash \loch\f39 Piper\hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 Pickles was more than big enough now to get economical raw materi}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid6447677 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 als and transportation at high }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 volume}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid6447677 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 preferential pricing. If anything, we saved a little bit of extra money (and a lot of aggravation) once we placed these new contracts for supplies and \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 services out to competitive bid! \par \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 I made sure Rube was paid in full for every minute of his time and effort, despite his complaints that he was just performing a public service. }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid6447677 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 He eventually cashed my check}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \loch\af39\dbch\af37\hich\f39 \'85\loch\f39 and it was worth every single penny! \par \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 If I had\hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 n\hich\f39 \rquote \loch\f39 t been so stubborn and rather passive-aggressive, I could have rid myself of my ex years ago}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid6447677 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 , }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 but I had to admit that the timing now had been absolutely perfect, especially now that Linda was back again by my side! \par \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 Aunt Millicent was mortified at the ski\hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 ll with which I outmaneuvered my ex-wife}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid6447677 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 and her family}{ \rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 , and more than a bit distur}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid6447677 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 bed to meet my new wife Linda, }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 especially after we both took great pains to call her \hich\f39 \lquote \loch\f39 Aunt Millie\hich\f39 \rquote \loch\f39 all evening long when we invited her over to our new and}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid6447677 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 much smaller home\hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 for dinner. We sold the old mansion for a bundle and }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid6447677 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 we }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 don\hich\f39 \rquote \loch\f39 \hich\f39 t play that \'93\loch\f39 k}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid6447677 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 eeping up with the }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 Joneses social game anymore! \par \par }\pard \ltrpar\qc \li0\ri0\sa200\sl276\slmult1\widctlpar\wrapdefault\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\adjustright\rin0\lin0\itap0\pararsid6447677 {\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 ****************** \par }\pard \ltrpar\ql \li0\ri0\sa200\sl276\slmult1\widctlpar\wrapdefault\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\adjustright\rin0\lin0\itap0\pararsid10970377 {\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 Aunt Millie's furor against me appears now to be }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid6447677 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 all just a}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 sham. She passed on recently and when her will was\hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 read out, with the entire horde of Pipers all present, it was announced to their great dismay that I had been designated as her sole heir and beneficiary! She wrote in a private letter to me that I was given af}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid6447677 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 terwards that she had }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 quietly admired and re\hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 spected me for being the only }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid6447677 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 member of the family }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 that had ever had the balls to stand up to her and become a success on my own, instead of leeching from the family fortune. \par \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 My f}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid6447677 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 amily was horrified and }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid6447677\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 aghast}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid6447677 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 with dismay!}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 I made it clear right from the v\hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 ery start that the days of leeching from the family trust fund were ancient history. Nearly everyone in my family has }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid6447677 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 now }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 sued me but Aunt Millicent\hich\f39 \rquote \loch\f39 s lawyers say her will is rock solid and they'll never see another dime. It's a shame - some of my family\hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 will now actually have to get jobs and go to work! \par \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 The pickle plant prospers (try saying that five times rapidly). Linda couldn't be a better wife and hostess, and it goes without saying that we happily share a bedroom every single night and }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid6447677 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 never avoid \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 each other in the house!}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \par \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 We shall dance together happily for the rest of our lives. \par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid6447677 \par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid10970377\charrsid10970377 \hich\af39\dbch\af37\loch\f39 The End \par }\pard \ltrpar\ql \li0\ri0\sa200\sl276\slmult1\widctlpar\wrapdefault\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\adjustright\rin0\lin0\itap0 {\rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\fs24\insrsid8538718\charrsid10970377 \par }{\*\themedata 504b030414000600080000002100828abc13fa0000001c020000130000005b436f6e74656e745f54797065735d2e786d6cac91cb6ac3301045f785fe83d0b6d8 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