From: Betty
Date: Thu Jul 5, 2001 10:39 am
Subject: Sex Slave?

Hi

My darling has asked me if I want to move in with him as his full time sex
slave!  

I don't know what to do.  I mean, part of me wants to, but it is so crazy.  I
have only known him a couple of weeks, I don't even know his real name, and I
really can't believe that I am seriously considering being anyone's "sex
slave", but my heart tells me "just go for it".  I mean I have done so many
crazy things recently and no matter how sick I know they are, I still really
enjoy them.  And I do trust him not to suddenly turn out to be a psycho.  I
asked him what he would expect of me and he said just more of what we have been
doing, he will throw parties and invite people over to use me, but that the
thing I would hate the most would be the boredom because I will not be allowed
to leave the house and he probably will keep me either in a cage in the
basement most of the time when he is not using me or just chained up down there.

"when he's not using me".  I love how that sounds. 

God, I can't believe I am actually considering doing it!  But he says I can
leave any time I want if I say "Game Over" and that if I am good he will let me
have a TV or books, or, maybe if I am "a good little cunt", an Internet
connection.  Also, I know this is a stupid reason, but it seems like an easy
way out of all my problems.  It means I don't have to worry about a job and he
says he can deal with my super, and I really don't have anything to lose
anyways, do I.  I mean, its not as if I have any great life that I would be
giving up.  And if I hate it, I won't be any worse off then I am now.  He says
he will put everything I own into storage so it will be there if I want to
leave. 

Oh God, I don't know what to do.  I really don't have anything else to do, but,
well, I guess the idea of being kept in a cage in his basement all day really
scares me.  Its funny, the idea of being his little cunt, his fucktoy that he
lends to other people doesn't bother me.  Its just more of what I have been
doing and I think I'll really like it.  But being kept in a cage?  That really
scares me.  God, what will I do all day?  Won't I go out of my mind with
boredom? I mean, if it was just at night when I was sleeping and I got to wake
up in a cage and feel like an animal, like his pet, well, I get turned when I
think about it.  I will be his little bitch in my cage, his little pet cunt,
and he can just take me out and use me when ever he wants and then lock me away
when he is bored of me.  Oh, I just made myself cum thinking about it,
picturing being nothing but his little pet cunt really turns me on.  But all
day?  Every day?  I guess that really scares me. 

It also bothers me that he says he may start charging men to use me, "renting"
me out.  What if this is all just a plan to turn me into a whore, except a
prisoner?  I mean, you think you know who somebody is, but what if I'm wrong?
He says that it just so I know that I am nothing but a fucktoy that men can
rent by the hour.  And so that I will feel as if I am earning my keep and also
so I can save for breast implants. 

I don't even know if I want breast implants.  It's not as if my boobs are
small.  They are actually quite large; they are just really droopy.  But he
says they won't be my breasts anymore, they will be his, and he wants
"enormous, round, firm bimbo jugs".  I get a funny feeling in my stomach when I
think about that.  That is what it will be like being his sex slave, won't it? 
He will be able to do anything he wants to me.  Anything!  Even give me
ridiculously huge "jugs" and I will be helpless to stop him.  That is really
scary. But it's like I like that scary feeling.  

Oh, why not?  I have hated my boobs for years.  Ever since I had Chris and they
lost their shape.  I thought about having them reduced so they would be more
shapely, but thought it would be a waste of money.  After all, my husband was
the only person to see them, and he always said he did not mind them.  So if
Sickman wants to turn me into some bimbo freak I guess it's like the rest of my
life: I didn't like them anyway so what do I have to lose?  After all, I do
like it when guys get turn on by me and want to use me like a fucktoy, so if
what they like is huge breasts, why not get them.  Personally, I think I will
look like a cow, but men seem to like that.  

Oh, this is stupid.  My boobs are the least of my worries.  Am I actually going
to let a man keep me in a cage like an animal and let him do whatever he want s
to me? 

Oh, I don't know.  What else am I going to do? 

I guess I sort of want to try it.  It sounds really exciting.  I guess the
worst case is that I hate it and have to leave, and be right back where I am
now.  I kind of like that my life is an adventure now instead of boring like it
used to be, but this may be more adventure than I really want.  But I guess
I'll just do it.  

Wish me luck,

Betty