BOOGER RED & COWBOY CHAPTER 22
By Waddie Greywolf

I could tell Red's brother was upset we weren't staying longer. I made
excuses for us. We were touring with two cousins of mine from my
family; they rode on to Mason. One of them's ill and we need to be
there; we're worried about him. Red thanked me later.

I said my private goodbye's to Griz. I grew to care more for the big man
the longer I was around him.  Sometimes we would walk together and
not say a word.  We were content just to be with each other.  We both
knew what we felt, we didn't have to sully it with words.

I had several opportunities to talk quietly with him away from our
Masters. He was reasonable but convinced someday he would have me
for his own. I didn't encourage him because my life was all ready such
a mess but something told me not to discourage him either.

I knew what it was to have your hopes and dreams dashed. We were
quiet for a moment then I began looking deep into his beautiful brown
eyes and it suddenly hit me.  An epiphany flashed across my mind
accompanied by sirens, trumpets, gongs, bells and banjos.

Could Griz be the giant, hairy beast-man Buck, Uncle Bud, and the Old
Man, himself, said would need me one day?  Is Griz the one they were
talking about?  He certainly fits the description. I turned away from
him like I'd been shot.

"What's a' matter, Little Cub?" he asked softly putting his big paw on
my shoulder. I turned back to him in frustration at the blood being
pumped to my face.  We couldn't keep a secret from each other if'n our
lives depended on it.  I looked into his eyes and I swear by all that's
holy, I don't know where the words came from that I told him next.

"Griz, listen carefully to my words and remember this. Hold on to your
dream. Don't never let go of that dream and never give up hope.
Sometimes hope is the only thing we have to keep us going and if
that's what you truly want,  God will give it to you. You only have to
ask him. Never stop hoping, my beautiful, big Bear-Man, and never lose
faith in your dream.  It's a beautiful dream and I will share it with you
always."

"I'll remember, Cowboy. I love you, Billy."

"God knows, I love you, too, Big Man. Remember one other thing. It's
important, Griz! If you ever find yourself in a position you need help,
you feel alone or frightened,  it doesn't matter where I am or who I'm
with,  I'm the first one you contact. Got that?"  he nodded his huge
head.

"I gave you my dad's address and phone number in Mason. He'll always
know where I am and how to get in touch with me. Do you understand,
Big Man?"

"I understand, Master Billy."

"Promise me! It's very important and someday I'll be able to tell you
why; however, I can't right now.  Why because I don't even know why
right now, but I know it's important!  Promise me, Bear Man!"

"I promise, Master Billy. I love you so much, Cowboy,  I don't never
want nobody else but you, 'cep'n my Master."

I watched as one big tear rolled down his cheek.  I raised his ring and
kissed him goodbye. He held me in his big arms and didn't want to let
me go.  He started crying again and I couldn't help myself, I sobbed
right along with him. 

There was a huge lump in my throat and a hole in my gut when we
finally parted and I waved my last goodbye.  That lump remained in my
throat all morning.  I couldn't even talk to my Master later when we
stopped for coffee.

"Griz, - Baby?" was all he asked me as he took another bite of his
breakfast.  He saw a tear roll down my cheek as I nodded affirmative
and he let me be for a few minutes.

"Griz is the friend of the Old Man's, idnee, Son?"  I nodded affirmative
again.  I finally dissolved the lump with some good hot coffee and a
few bites of breakfast.

"I'm sorry, Master;  but,---- yes, he's the one.  No doubt in my mind. I
don't know why I didn't see it right away, it was right there in front of
me, all along.  It didn't hit me until we were saying goodbye who Griz
was and why he meant so much to me.  Guess that's why I'm
having these Griz withdrawal pangs."  I laughed a little and I was
better.

"Nothing to be sorry about, Cowboy.  I'm glad to see he won your heart
since you'll one day be responsible for him.  I figured as much but
knew you'd tell me when you wanted me to know.  Griz is a lucky man,
Sweet baby, a very lucky man, indeed."

My Master meant only to lovingly complement his slave but it broke
the dam inside.  I cried into my napkin until I regained my composure. I
felt better after I got it out and then we had a wonderful breakfast. 
Nothing more was said about Griz.

Red and I rode to Mason to join up with Boots and Sonny.  We were
going to visit for a while and go from there.  Dad, his new son and
grandson were thicker than fleas on a hound by the time we got there.
The three of them could read each other's minds.

Boots was in heaven with my dad. Dad became the loving dad he never
had and he loved being around my dad. Dad became granddad to Sonny
and the two of them fell in love. He was all ready teaching Boots
and Sonny how to rope and ride. He couldn't keep his big hands off
either one of them. He was constantly holding or petting one or the
other. They ate it up.

Dad took Sonny to get a couple of shakes from the D.Q. and drove to
the park so he could talk alone with him. Boots cried in Dad's arms
begging him to tell Sonny because he didn't think he could.

"Son," dad said to Sonny, "I brought you here under false pretenses, to
get you away from the house. Your dad, Red and Cowboy want me to
tell you something they don't have the heart to tell you."

"What could be so bad, Granddad?"

"Son, there's no easy way to tell you this and what I'm about to tell you
ain't know joke.  I'd never do that to someone I love's much as you.   
Red's dying. He has a brain tumor they can't operate on and seven
months ago they gave him six to eight months to live.

He's beginning to show signs. That's why he didn't want you going with
him by his brothers.  He stopped there to tell him about his condition
and to say goodbye."

Dad watched as he saw a vibrant young man, his kin, become twisted
with the pain of knowing his beloved Master he grew to love so deeply
the past seven months would be taken away from him, forever.   Sonny
left the table and wandered aimlessly across the deep St. Augustine
grass of the park only to stumble and fall under a large shade tree. He
was crying so uncontrollably he couldn't get up and conceded to lay
there in a fetal position.

Dad was right behind him, sat down beside the young man and pulled
him up into his arms. Sonny sobbed in Dad's arms like his heart would
break. All the while my old man was trying to soothe and comfort him.
Dad said he knew it was gonna' be rough but he didn't expect this. 

Sonny slowly got himself together.  He couldn't cry any more. He was
sore all over from heaving while he was sobbing.

"I suspected something was wrong all along."  Sonny was quiet for a
long time.  "My dad would shine me on about some concern I had
about my Master and Cowboy is always so reassuring I couldn't get
anything out of him.  I began to think the three of them shared a
deeper love I couldn't be a part of.  I told myself it was all right I had
more than my share with my dad and Red for Masters and Cowboy for
my brother."    He was again quiet and weeped a little more with his
unspoken realization that it WAS a deeper love they shared, but it was
for him.

"Why didn't anyone tell me sooner, Grand dad?  My dad, Cowboy, or
even Master Red himself?"

"Wasn't Cowboy or your dad's fault.  Red asked them not, too. He loves
you Sonny and wanted you to have a good half year with him without
the knowledge looming over your head  his time was growing short
and it eating you up.

I agreed with them, Son. They did the right thing.  You may not see or
understand it for a long time but those three men gave you half a year
of being able to love Red as your Master uncomplicated by his
declining health.

Son, it's a statement of their love for you;  thier gift to you to want to
protect you from the inevitable.  Look what the news did to you today.
Can you imagine how it might have affected you if they told you before
you started on the trip.

That's why Red spent as much time with you as he could and not slight
Cowboy.  Your dad told me Cowboy was generous to a fault sharing
Red with you knowing he only had this amount of time left to love him.

"I didn't know, Dad. I've thanked Cowboy and thanked him for being so
generous to share Master Red. He's neither been jealous nor felt
threatened. If anything he's encouraged me. This makes me love him
all the more. What a big heart he has.

It's not like that though, Dad. I wasn't in competition with Cowboy.
Red sees me as a slave son or a second slave. He's never held back
from me but I know Cowboy's the apple of his eye. I don't begrudge
either one their love. They worked hard for it. They deserve it.

It was more like family between the four of us. I know Cowboy loves to
be with my dad and my dad thinks Cowboy sets the stars out at night.
From the first night we met Red, he sort of adopted us as his little
family. Three men he loved with the same name. What are the
chances, Dad?

He took me under his wing that first night. I'd never been with a real
Master before, Dad.  Boy, was Master Red an eyeopener. After that
first night with him I knew I had to be a slave to some man. Maybe not
Master Red but if my dad didn't want to become my Master I knew I
had to find that for myself; I had to find me a good man to love and
serve.  I knew I could never have Red like Cowboy but he offered to
train me and I ate it up, Dad.

I served him as much as I could during our time together. I've felt
some urgency in him sometimes but it only made him more patient
with me. Master Red made me his second slave. I was so honored and
thrilled he asked me to be his second slave but if I'd a' known this I
would've gratefully declined. I love Cowboy too much."

"Can't you see, Sonny?  That's exactly why they didn't tell you. They
wanted you to know the joy of being Red's slave."

"Cowboy's become a true slave, Dad. He would never think of
questioning any decision Master Red made. There are no two people
on this Earth who love each other more. I told him if Master Red only
wanted me to lay across their doorway and he and Cowboy used me to
clean their dirty boots on, I would be there in a minute."

"Red talked to me one evening while you were in South Carolina with
the two cops."  My dad spoke quietly, "He called me on his phone card
he carries and we talked about an hour.  In that hour there were two
topics he kept returning to, Cowboy and you.

He wasn't being unfaithful to Cowboy when he told me how much he
loved you Sonny. He doesn't love you the same way he loves Cowboy.
That's not to say one is better than the other. We all love in different
ways depending on the person. Red didn't want you for yourself alone.

He feels strongly you and your dad should be Master and slave. He
loves Boots as much as you and Cowboy. He told me he's never had a
relationship with another man the way he does with your dad. He'd do
anything in the world for both of you. Red told me there was never a
moments regret you and your dad went along with them on this trip."

"Dad, we had a wonderful time. It's something I'll remember the rest of
my days as one of the most relaxed, happy, joy filled times of my life.

Dad was finally getting through the pain with Sonny and knew that
after acceptance, healing would begin.

* * * * * * * * * * *

When Red and I arrived in Mason, it was like homecoming. Cowboy
was home again. Boots and Sonny couldn't believe how the town
rallied to say hello and wish us well. The diner that next morning was
packed with people waiting outside to see the four Gunns. 

Word got around town two long lost Gunn's were visiting Big Gunn.
They were amazed at the family resemblance. They had to see Boots
and Sonny's drivers license. They wouldn't believe there were two
more Billy Gunns.

Louise and Suzy pulled together a couple of the largest tables and had
them waiting for us when we got there.  We called Phil and Wilma Jo
and they joined us.  Louise and Suzy flirted with Sonny and Boots. 
They hadn't figured things out yet; wouldn't make a difference to them
if they had. Boots and Sonny were with the cowboy and Big Gunn. 
They were family.

I don't think Boots and Sonny ever had people be as friendly and want
to know all about them as they did in that little diner that morning.  We
were there for several hours, eating, visiting, laughing, drinking coffee
and relaxing.  We had a great time.

Red wanted to relax and let us go. The trip from his brother's place to
Mason was not far but we didn't rush. We stopped several times for
gas, lunch, and snacks but Red was tired when we arrived.  I could see
it in his face; so did Boots and Sonny who got me aside to talk. I
couldn't tell them anything because Red was the one who would have
to let me know if more signs were beginning to show.

Red didn't want a fuss made over him.   He wanted to be left alone; let
him be. He wanted me to go and be with my friends and relatives. He
wanted to rest and have me with him in the evenings. I could tell he
was slowing down. Things weren't working right for him anymore.

He could still ride his bike but his sense of balance was making it
difficult. His vision would sometimes blur for hours and then come
right back;  he'd be okay for a while.  I asked him several times to quit
riding the bike.

I invited him to ride with me. He wouldn't until one afternoon the four
of us were riding around town and his vision cut out. He had enough
sense to stop dead in the street and let Boots and I help him to the
curb. He was getting scared. We took him home.  Dad drove me back
to get his bike. I pulled it into dad's big barn of a garage and it never
came out again.

Red decided he wanted to die in Mason. I wanted him to be near a
larger city to be closer to medical facilities. He reasoned they
couldn't do anything for him anyway, why bother. He felt comfortable
in the big house with me, Lester, Dad and Uncle Joe. 

There was plenty room for his small family to be with him.  He had
come to love Boots and Sonny like they were his family as well as
mine. They couldn't have loved Red more.

Red and I both felt Boots was on the verge of a great self discovery
that would take him into the world of becoming a fine Master capable
of providing his son what he needed.

Red got certain things from Boots he couldn't get from me or Sonny.
Boots became a project for Red to leave a small legacy behind. He
grew to love Boots more and more and looked on him as if he were
passing him the Master's torch.

Red had a paternal, encouraging, teaching attitude toward Boots. He
wanted to leave something of himself behind even if it was nothing
more that to encourage Boots to be the Master Sonny needed and Red
knew he could be.

Red's classroom efforts and my lab work with Boots was paying off.
Red wanted to know every detail of our nights together. Didn't upset
me, I knew what he was doing. He had the right as my Master to
expect me to answer any question he put to me as truthfully as
possible.

Actually it became a big turn on for me to describe in detail before my
Master what Boots had done to me. Red would never have questioned
me if he wasn't so driven to get Boots where he wanted him. Usually,
my descriptions were so graphic it would get him horny as hell and I'd
get the snot fucked out of me again.  You couldn't get the smile off my
face.

The more we rode together Boots became more collected and sure of
himself. Red put to me he thought, for the first time in his life, Boots
was making an effort to grow up and accept the responsibility of
becoming an adult. I had to admit it made a lot of sense.

Boots shared with me he made up his mind, after Red passed he was
taking Sonny to Master Jeb and Big Jim's in Los Angeles for slave
training. Everyone agreed with him, it would be the best thing for
Sonny to help him get over the pain of Red's death.

During our journey Boots shared with me several times he never
wanted to try to live without Sonny. Sonny's love for Red was an
eyeopener for Boots. He wasn't the least threatened by Sonny's love
for Red or Red's for Sonny. Boots accepted Red as family.

I was blood family; he had an open door to me; it balanced in his mind.
It did in all our minds. It wasn't like Red was spending every evening
with Sonny either; maybe one or two nights a week, rarely more.

Red was right when he warned Boots, sooner or later some scooter
bum was going to come along and take Sonny away from him. Boots
was convinced after talking to my family, Master Jeb, Big Jim, Big
Beryl, my dad, Uncle Joe and even Master Ben, he wouldn't let that
happen. The biggest influences were Ben Stafford, Red, my dad,
Walker and Master Jeb. They told him he had a treasure on his hands;
why give it away to someone else when he could have it for himself?  

No one wanted to see them apart. Sonny cried in Red's arms many
nights asking Red to talk his dad into becoming his Master. Red broke
down in my arms one night at Brants and Rayph's knowing how his
death was going to affect Sonny.

He felt Sonny was vulnerable because of his deep emotional
attachment to Red. Boots and I agreed with him. It made me feel good
my Master experienced the love of two other men who became family
to both of us.

Red was comforted by the fact that Boots finally made up his mind 
there was no other course he could take. He assured Red he didn't feel
like he would've considered it if Red's didn't care as much as he did
and acted as a mentor for Boots. You can bet that made old `iron sides'
shed a few.

Boots didn't meet one of our family who didn't encourage him to
become his son's Master. I told him to pray about it and ask for
guidance. He told me he did and it was only after that his heart felt
peaceful. He knew it was the thing to do.

Everyone, to a man, told him it was important for Sonny to go through
slave training and become bonded to him. No one foresaw any
problems,  his son all ready worshiped his dad and wanted to become
his slave.

Unbeknownst to the three of us, Red paid Master Jeb and Big Jim in
advance for Sonny's training before we left Los Angeles months ago.

Master Ben flew out to be with us for a week and he lifted Red's
spirits. He'd sit and talk with Ben for hours. Tim and Harry came with
Ben and spent most of their time with me. I grew closer to Tim and he
was a great comfort during Red's decline in health. Harry, of course,
was Harry. He was wonderful. Anything I needed, Red needed, Master
Ben or Tim, or any of my family, Harry saw to it;  it was taken care of
immediately. Harry had become a great friend to Red and I. We loved
him.

When they left, I thought it would break Harry in two when he had to
say goodbye to Red for the last time. It wasn't easy for Ben or Tim
either.

Cal and Steve were wonderful. They became so attached to us we felt
like brothers. We had keys to their house in Vegas and felt comfortable
dropping by anytime. They were always happy to see us.

Cal grew close to Red.  He hid a lot of himself from people but he hid
nothing from Booger. He looked on Booger as the father he never had
and told him the secrets of his heart. Red would never betray a
confidence, even to me. I didn't think Cal was going to be able to but
he pulled himself up, went in to say goodbye to Red and didn't shed a
tear,  until he got outside.

I thought sure Red would want to spend his final days in Los Angeles
or Glen Rose but he didn't. Dad, Uncle Joe and Lester didn't have any
problem with him dying in Mason. They loved having Boots, Sonny and
I around. 

Boots and Sonny spent a lot of time helping out at the shop. Dad said
Boots was a pretty fair mechanic. That was high praise from my dad.
They went about their lives and pretty much left us to ourselves. They
were there if we needed them and we often did.

My three dads were a great support and comfort during this trying
time. Dad shared with me Red asked him if he minded if he stayed in
Mason to die. My dad, God love him, assured Red it was fine. He was
glad to have all of us there.

Dad was in his element. He had a new son to love and a grandson he
could spoil. He thought Sonny was the greatest thing since popcorn
was invented.

We took over the newer bedroom my family originally fixed up for Ben
and I. It was clean and comfortable. It was sunny most of the day and
Red was comfortable. Boots and Sonny checked in with us twice a day
but didn't stay long. They were giving me and Red the most or our last
days to be together.

Sonny fell apart when my dad took him to the park and told him. It took
him three days to recover enough before he could handle coming to
Red's room to visit. Then he could only hold Red's hand. Red
understood and talked like a father to Sonny for hours.

The fifth week Red's eyesight went all together. He could barely make
out shapes. His balance was almost gone and he had to be near the
bed to protect himself from falling. I couldn't carry him to the bath. I
had to do everything for him that week. I didn't mind.

He hated to have me feed him and clean him. I jokingly told him to shut
up, I love you, old man. After all, I'm cleaning myself up; not just you
alone.  You told me yourself I'm now a part of you.  I'd pull his dick out,
drive him crazy teasing him until he threatened me with my life then I'd
suck him off.  He always felt better after that.

Sonny pulled himself up by his boot straps and decided it was time for
him to become a man for his Masters and his brother. He took turns
cleaning and helping Red. He would've done it all himself if I'd let him,
but it was important to me to do those things for Red, as well..

I wrote Dave and Barn a letter and told them that the end was near.  I
wrote a letter to the VA ward and told them our trip was done but Red
was dying.  I got phone calls from practically every one in Ten Sleep. 
The Bartletts were sad but supportive.  Dave and Barn wanted to drive
down. While I would've loved to see them I knew they couldn't do
anything and they had a ranch to run.

I got fifty-six letters of sympathy and encouragement from every man
in the VA in Cheyenne.  They named their television the Booger Red &
Cowboy T.V.  I shared most of their letters with Red during our quiet
times together.

Red would get frightened, cry and want me to hold him. I never
refused. We hired around the clock nurses to help with him. Sonny
didn't want me to. He thought we could do it but everyone began to
see the toll it was taking on Sonny as well as me. It showed in his face
and his walk. In some ways we watched a part of Sonny die with his
Master. 

Dad talked to him and Sonny finally realized a nurse to help was in
everyone's best interest. My Dad had a calming effect on people when
they were hurting. Lord knows I climbed into those big arms time after
time over the years.  They were always open to me.

The doctors told us once vision and balance went Red would slip
into a coma and may be that way for a week or two. After that it was a
matter of time before he passed.

It was hard for me to watch the strong vibrant man I loved so much
waste away in front of my eyes.  I slept with him every night. I'd hold
him all night and pray that Buck and Uncle Bud would come for him
soon. Not because I wanted him go but because I knew the fear and
confusion in his mind. I could feel it when I held him.

We had a steady stream of visitors. Our clan family from Los Angeles
rode out to say goodbye. Master Earl, Wes, Big Beryl, Sam, Bull,
Charlie, Zack, Big Jim and Jeb. Numbers of other family members
came with them. Harry, Ben, Tim ,Cal, Steve, Master Walker, Xander
and even Leon rode his bike to Mason to say goodbye to him. Harley
Boone, a fine looking man, rode out to be with Red and I. At his side
was his companion, Mutt. They were still leaning on each other from
their earlier experiences with Spyder.

Red couldn't see nor sit up too well but he could talk and visit with
folks. He knew who they were and was delighted they came to tell him
goodbye. I called his brother and Griz to come to Mason.

"How is he?" asked his brother.

"He's still sitting up with help but his vision's gone. He's lucid but he's
just before going into a coma. I think you and Griz should come say
your goodbyes, Master Red, before he lapses."

He and Griz were there the next day. They stayed two days, two
nights, and the next day with us before leaving to go back to Houston.
I think his brother was relieved he didn't have to be there when Red
passed. I don't think he could have handled it. He was satisfied Red
was being taken care of by folks who loved him best. He knew we
would see him through to the end.

I told Sonny about Griz before he and Bro. Red got there. Sonny wasn't
prepared for how big Griz was. He stood there looking at Griz in an
awestruck daze.  I told him to close his mouth and wipe the spittle
from his chin.  I checked to see if he was breathing, elbowed him,
slapped my knee, then fell out laughing at him.

Poor Sonny blushed and gave me a frustrated look. He thought Griz
was a large piece of heaven. I always liked that about Sonny, he
confirmed my taste in men. Griz and Sonny took to each other right
away. Sonny got me aside to talk to me.

"That big, ugly monster's a slave, Cowboy?" he said disappointed.

"Don't judge what's inside until you've unwrapped the package, little
Brother. First of all, he ain't ugly to me. He's one of the finest men I've
ever met. That's not to say the first time I saw him I didn't have the
same reaction but I fell in love with that monster. Trust me you will,
too. You'll be surprised how his appearance changes once he's got all
fifteen inches up your butt.

"Naw, no way! You're shit'n me. No man has,  on the other hand, 
he's awfully big and you're not the type to blow smoke up my ass, I've
learned that. Holy jumpin' jehosaphats, and you took it all?"

"Hey! You keep forgetting, little Brother, I'm a cowboy. I can ride
anything." I smiled wickedly at Sonny. "It's true, Griz is a slave. His
Master, Red's brother, had that ring permanently welded in place the
second week he owned him; however, don't let that ring bother you
none, Griz wouldn't disappoint you. I guaran-damn-tee-ya.' Take it from
your bother, he won't never tell you wrong.

Griz has something very special about him that will rip you a new
asshole, and it ain't his size nor his dick. I won't go into it, I'll leave it
for you to find out for yourself, but you will love him as much as I do.

About that time Griz walked up and I introduced him to Sonny. Sonny
took Griz's big paw. He could barely speak but quietly blurted out to
Griz, 

"I could love you, Big Man." As shy as I knew Griz to be I was curious
how he would answer such a blatant comment like that. He smiled at
me, turned to Sonny and gave him the warmest smile.

"That would make me very happy, if you would, Mr. Sonny. Then I
would love you, too."

Sonny stood there stunned not expecting such a genuine, honest,
disarming, childlike response from this imposing man.

"It's good to meet you, Griz." Sonny spoke quietly and sincerely.

"It feels good to meet you, too, Mr. Sonny." then Griz grabbed Sonny in
his arms and hugged him. Sonny almost swooned. I caught Boots out
of the corner of my eyes, laughing his ass off at Sonny. He knew only
too well, Griz would trip Sonny's switch to the `on' position."

"Just call me Sonny, Griz. If we're to love each other I don't want you
calling me 'mister.'"

"Thank you, Sonny. I'm only Griz."

Griz let Sonny go and opened his arms to me. They were the arms of
love. He held me as I cried. He petted and consoled me. Griz was a
great comfort. Just to be held in the big man's arms was a spiritual
experience. He had a way of petting me while making a strange but
relaxing humming sound. It wasn't a tune nor a growl, it was a barely
audible humming sound that vibrated at exactly the same frequency of
my soul.

For a few minutes the big man absorbed all the pain in my heart and
gave me strength to carry on.  If it hadn't been for that visit from Griz
and Bro. Red I don't know if I could have made it.  Damned, if once
again I didn't smelled the sweet smell of roses about him.

"I been talking with God, Master Billy, like you told me to. I asked him
what you told me to ask him and he said he'd think about it if I was
good and did the things he wanted me to."

Okay,  so a man tells you he talked with God. `Yeah, right!' Then you
think, 'You know the big man's slow, he just means he prayed. Give
him a break. Yeah, but then he said God talked back to him....' Then
this flush came over me while he was holding me. Thoughts were
racing through my mind only to lead back to the only plausible
explanation.  Griz talked to God.

`Why would you even question the big man? The Old Man talked to you;
told you, himself, he  was a personal friend of the big man's. You ain't
so special. If'n he got pissed enough to talk to you, call you a `twit' and
straighten your sorry ass out, then how hard is it to believe he loves
Griz and enjoys talking with him? You can't be a friend to someone
unless you talk to him.' I thought to myself.

"Griz,  do the things he asks and no matter my obligations, he'll find a
way for us to be together; if that's what you really want."

"I do, Master Billy, with all my heart."

"Can I ask a favor, Griz?"

"I'd do anything for you, Master Billy."

"Next time you talk to him, ask him if he ain't too busy, if'n he sees fit
to give me his love for the strength I'm gonna' need to see my Master
through this. I want to be strong for my Master like he was for me."

"I'll tell him, Master Billy, but I all ready talked to him some about
you. I hope you don't mind. I ask him to come to you in your worst
moment, put his arms around you and show you love like he does me.
He promised he would.

When he puts his big arms around me and holds me, Master Billy, he
gives me such peace and love. He don't do it too often, he said he
don't want to spoil me.  He tells me that but then he does it almost
every time we walk together.  I think he needs it from me, too, Master
Billy.  I put my arms around him and tell him how much I love him."

Son of a bitch, the big man ripped my heart out and I cried again at his
sincerity. Somehow, I had no doubt, the Old Man would be there for me
when I needed him.

"Thanks, Big Man, I love you for that." I said when I got myself
together.

"I love you, too, Master Billy." I don't know why I never corrected Griz
when he called me `Master.' A voice inside told me, "No, he needs to
think of you as his Master. Give back to Griz some of what your Master
gave to you."

I was holding up better than I thought I would. I was being strong for
Red when I wanted to run and rage at everything holy and beat
someone or anything up with my fist. Red and I lay together for hours
at a time and talked.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

"What do you think it will be like, Billy?"  Red asked like a little boy,
afraid of the dark.

"I know what it will be like, Master, I've been there, remember? You'll
simply rise out of your body when the time comes. Buck, Uncle Bud
and the cowboys, Ken and Rowley will come for you. They'll take your
hand and lead you home."

"How can you be so sure?" He asked in fear.

"Buck told me months ago, he and my uncle would be there to help you
pass over so you wouldn't have to make the journey by yourself. Lots
a' folks have to find their own way and some get lost. That's how you
get there is to have those whom you loved and took your love back
who come to lead you over. You have friends and loved ones who will
guide you.  Uncle Bud took your love with him and he'll be there to
show you the way. He never stopped loving you, Red."

"Then why would Buck and his buddies come for me?"

"Because you'll be taking my love with you and their love becomes a
part of that love and,  they'll explain it to you on the way. 'Member
how many times you demanded I trust you as my Master? Well, I ain't
demanding but I'm asking you to trust your slave about this.

It ain't that big a deal, Master. It will be for me to lose my Master but
when you rise up out of your body, your gonna' think, 'Why the hell,
was I afraid of this? This is better'n being there.'"

"Well, you've never lied to me, Cowboy. Don't see any reason you'd
start now. I know you well enough to know, you wouldn't make this
shit up just to console a dying man."

Red made sure all his money and personal belonging were signed over
to me. He had a little over half a million dollars in the bank. The only
personal property he owned was his bike and a small cabin in the
desert in Morongo Valley, California he never told me about.

He told me to do what I wanted with it. He asked how I felt about
leaving his bike to Sonny. Red's Harley was a much newer and nicer
bike. I told him I thought it was a wonderful idea. He couldn't leave it
to anyone who would appreciate it more than Sonny.  He told me he
wouldn't say anything to Boots or Sonny. He wanted me to take care of
it. I assured him I would.

My Master slipped into a coma the end of the sixth week we were in
Mason and remained that way for almost two and a half weeks. He
couldn't take in food or water so we put him on intravenous feeding.
He would have gone quicker if we did what he wanted and withheld
the IV.

I knew he could hear me. I told him if the tumor was going to take him
away from me; it's God's will; so be it; however,  I wouldn't sit by and
watch my Master starve to death. I felt the slightest squeeze on my
hand.

I still slept with him every night and held him through the long, dark
nights. I sat with him all day and way into the night.  Most times, I just
held his hand. He knew I was there. I would talk to him by the hour. I
would talk about the damnedest shit; funny things; some good,
wonderful sex we had; some funny, knock down, drag out, hard won
sex scenes we could laugh about now; some wonderful and beautiful
things we saw and experienced together on our tour across the U.S.

I revealed to him the secrets of my heart I'd hidden from him for so
long; how I'd become hooked on the rough sex and didn't want things
to go back the way they were because I was afraid he'd stop taking it
away from me; how I fell so much more in love with him than before
but wouldn't show it to him until he had me in the height of passion. 

Then it would come spilling out of me uncontrollably. I told him
underneath my stubbornness I loved him so damn much but I was
afraid and my foolish pride wouldn't let me show him the love I wanted
to.

I told him how close he came to breaking me down to a gelatinous
mass of quivering, sex crazed flesh. If he refused me his rough sex for
only a week I would've crawled on my belly a mile across the desert in
the noon day sun for the taste of his boots and would have called him
my Master, my owner, my only need in life; begged him to use me, to
take me, just give me another `Booger fix.' I would've admitted to him,
he won.

I would no longer deny I was addicted to his using me for any purpose
he wanted. He would've never had to force me to eat his ass out again.
I admitted to him how much I loved to clean him out; how I would feign
disgust to keep him from knowing how much I enjoyed it and I how
much I loved him forcing me to do it. I would have insisted he never
piss in a toilet again. On and on I'd babble about these things.

I knew Red heard me, he'd get a roaring hard-on.  I'd have the nurse
take a break or a long lunch. I'd lock the door to the bedroom, throw
back the sheet, make the proper love to his shaft as my Master would
require, run my tongue around under his foreskin to clean him.

Then, I take him. I'd suck on him, sometime fucking my throat with his
erect shaft, then I'd skin his foreskin back from his beautiful dick, take
him down my throat several times and he'd shoot every time.

Afterwards, I'd clean him, tell him how good he tasted and thanked
him for letting his slave have more of his wonderful come. His
breathing would become more relaxed. He wouldn't seem so tense and
would have this glow about his face with the faintest of smiles. I'd
take his hand again and feel the slightest squeeze of my hand in
thanks.

It became routine, I took him almost every day around noon. I'd suck
him off while the nurse went to lunch. I usually gave her extra time so
I'd have more time with him by myself. He had to know when it was
near noon,  maybe, he heard the nurse getting ready to go to lunch,---
but after couple of days he'd get a roaring boner right at noon in
anticipation. The sheet would look like a damn circus tent.

After the end of the first week, I relieved the nurse to go to lunch, told
her she didn't have to be back for and hour and a half and let her go. 

"Have you noticed Mr. Grainger gets erect every day around noon?"

I looked over at Red and sure enough it looked like Ringling Brothers
had come to town.

"No, Ma'am, never noticed before but I can see he does. Is that
important?"

"I don't know, I'll ask the doctor." she said and left. I was holding Red's
hand and started laughing.

"You dirty old man, I can't take you anywhere." I told Red laughing and
very faintly felt him squeeze my hand.

"Okay Red, I felt that," I told him, "now calm down, you don't have to
get so excited, you'll get your blow-job I've called in a guest slave to
suck you off this afternoon while I hold your hand and talk dirty to
you."

I laughed my ass off and felt another slight squeeze. I shared with
Sonny I'd been sucking Red off every day for several days around noon.
He didn't ask but I could see the need as tears gathered in his eyes. I
knew Sonny so well by this time I knew he'd cut his arm off rather than
intrude. Any time I needed him, he was right there, ready. I knew he
wouldn't ask.

"Sonny, my Brother, I know what Red means to you and I wouldn't
share this with you only to leave you out. Would you like to take him a
couple of times."

Sonny grabbed me, hugged and kissed me as he cried and cried. After
the nurse left Sonny came in and I locked the door. He was amused at
our Master's erection. I'd told him it happens the same time everyday. I
took Red's hand. Sonny took the sheet down and I acted as Master by
proxy.

"Make love to your Master's dick, slave. Show your Master how much
you want to taste his beautiful cock and have him honor you with his
seed."

Sonny was a great lover of cock and Red was right, he could really beg
for some dick. I told him to beg his good Master and his other slave
would tell him when his Master said he could have him.

Sonny begged, pleaded, cleaned and kissed Red's big dick. Red
couldn't have been harder. Finally, I felt a slight squeeze on my hand. I
told Sonny, Red squeezed my hand. Our Master gave his slave
permission to take him.

I hadn't seen Sonny in action for sometime. Our Master taught him
well. Sonny could fuck his throat quite deeply with Red's big dick and
not just once or twice, but repeated heavy face fucking. He went on
for sometime and I felt another slight squeeze from Red.

I told Sonny to skin him back he wanted to come. Sonny did and took
only two hits on Red's cock and got a big ole mouthful of Master come.
He pointed to his mouth if I wanted to share it with him and I shook my
head no. He had the ecstacy of swallowing our Master's hot load. 

Sonny sat on the floor with his head back on the bed and jacked
himself off as he allowed a small bit at a time of his Master's come to
trickle down his throat.

We had rubber sheets under the bed sheet because of accidents.
Sonny or I would clean him up and change the sheets. It only happened
a couple of times. Then because he wasn't taking in food there was
nothing to come out. He was still taking in fluids through the IV.

He would piss a couple of times a day. The nurse wanted to catheter
him. I told her absolutely not and called my friend who was a nurse
and ask his advice. He sent me a rubber type contraption called a
Texas catheter that slipped over the head of Red's dick and had a tube
running out the end to collect the urine. It worked well.

Afterward, Sonny and I would crawl in bed with him put our arms
around him.  We'd tell him how much we loved and appreciated him
being our Master. We knew Red could hear us but nothing worked. It
must have been horrible lying there, aware, conscious, not being able
to move, speak, or open your eyes.

If he was aware he must have had moments of terrible panic. Much
like a dream where you want to turn over or move your body but you
feel paralyzed and try as you may you can't move a thing,  then began
to drift further and further into sleep with the horrible feeling if you
don't move something you may never wake up.

Nurse Brunhilde, I called her, assured me that Mr. Grainger was
completely out. That's what a coma was, he was unconscious, he can't
hear you, his brain is turned off. I tried to tell her a couple of times and
she said it was my imagination. I wanted to feel him squeeze my hand. 

I suppose Red becoming so sexually aroused, enough to reach climax
was my imagination, too. Funny, it sure tasted like my Master's hot
load when I was swallowing it. Sonny agreed.  Funny, she never
seemed to notice his erection was gone when she returned.

When I talked about something that really touched him I could feel him
gently squeeze my hand to let me know he heard me. The light was
dim but he was still in there. After that day, I redoubled my effort to
stay by his side as much as possible or until I felt my chatter might be
exhausting him.

I would tell him I was going to shut up for a while to give him a rest
but I wouldn't leave him; I'd be there. Once again I'd feel a slight
squeeze of my hand in thanks.

It sounds strange but those quiet times, sitting there, holding his hand
were powerfully spiritual for me; not from sorrow for his decline in
health but just being by my Master's side; there, for his use.  Maybe
that's what I loved most about Red was he used me to my fullest.

I wanted to be there for him to useuntil his last breath. With Red I
never felt unwanted; I never felt unneeded. There was still an
unspoken communication between us as strong as the first night we
kissed and he sent me the message, he was my Master, I was his
slave.  He loved me for asking him to make my choice for me, and he
made that choice. He told me not to fear, to be comfortable with my
decision.  You will be my slave, you will serve me well, and you will
love me.

Thoughout our time together touring, occasionally I would do
something unexpected for him to please him. Every time, he would
look at me with the greatest love and tell me,

"You did it again, Kid."  He didn't have to say more, I understood; but,
now, he was reversing the flow and I could feel it. He surrounded me
with his demanding, yet unconditional love. Those were wonderful
times he held my soul a willing prisoner within his heart. My captor
would feed it, comforted it and breathe into it his strength. When he
set me free I would never leave him.

I didn't want to be strong. I wanted to fall apart. He wouldn't let me. To
his last breath he was going to be my Master and he damn well
expected and demanded my best. It was his due as my Master. To Red
my best was having the strength and courage to see him through to
the end. I might stumble, fall, break apart, but I knew he'd put his big
hand under my elbow to help me up. I could hear him whisper,

"Goddamn it, Cowboy, I didn't become your Master and make your
decision to become my slave if I didn't believe and know you're
stronger than that. Straighten up, Son. Remember, you're still my
slave. Be proud, I trained you better than that. You're no ordinary
slave, you're Booger Red's slave. I expect you to make it to the finish,
Son, with your head held high."  I wasn't going to let him down.

The town folk were wonderful. Suzie and Louise brought food for
everyone from the restaurant. Someone was forever dropping off a pot
of homemade soup; a pie;  a beautiful cake. They knew we were
suffering. They'd all been there and back. They just wanted to say they
cared but didn't want to intrude.

Aunt Laura came and sat with me several afternoons for a couple
hours. I appreciated her being there, she was a great comfort.

Wednesday morning of the eighth week around eight thirty in the
morning Red woke up. He sat up, looked around and he could see. I
thought, perhaps,  God gave us a miracle.  Lord knows, I prayed for
one. Maybe he experienced spontaneous remission.

"Red, it's good to see you again, Master."

"You don't know how good it is to see your sweet face, Cowboy."

"Do you think you're getting better, Master, maybe going into
remission?"

"No, Son, God's given me this morning to be with you to say goodbye. I
had a long talk with your Uncle Bud last night. Damn, he's still a good
looking man;  looks just like you, Son. It was hard not to think I was
sitting there talking to you. I've always loved your uncle even after we
came back from Korea. You were right, he still loves me.

You were right about Buck, and the cowboys. I met them last night.
Your uncle introduced 'em to me. Great bunch of guys, no wonder you
loved 'em so much; they love you a lot. They're proud of you, Son.

Dan Yates's boy, Buck,  Woooh! What a man! I realize what you must
have gone through to lose a prize like him. He's a good man, Son.
Loves you beyond measure. Your buddy Rowley is a big, fine looking,
big hearted man. He, too, is one hell of a man, Son. That Ken White is a
funny little dude, had me laughing my ass off.

"Well, you met Ken, all right."  I laughed, pause and got serious with
him.  "Red,---- Red,---- Master,---- I don't think I can tell you goodbye." I
started crying as he held me in his arms. "I don't want to tell you
goodbye, Master.  I don't want you to leave me.  A slave needs his
Master, Red,  and God knows I need you."

"There, there, Sweet Baby, we won't have to say goodbye. Your uncle
told me to tell you, "On down the road, Cowboy, on down the road." I
cried again knowing that would be exactly what Uncle Bud and Buck
would tell him to say.

"You're not afraid anymore, are you Master?"

"No, Son, I'm not, you were right all along. I guess I never learned to
trust you about those things but that was my fault. You never gave me
reason to doubt you. It was just hard for me to believe, Billy. I want
you to remember one important thing, Son."

"What's that, Master?"

"You were the one great love of my life, Cowboy, and I want to thank
you for picking old ugly out of all those handsome men that night at
the Johnson Ranch. You'll never know what that did for me. I loved you
from that moment. You knew, same's I did, it just felt right between
us; still does;  always will. You have to promise me something."

"What's that, Master?"

"Once I'm gone, I want you to run to Dan Yates' arms, Son. Don't
hesitate and don't think about grieving for me until you're with him. He
loves you, needs you and you need him. He's waited patiently for your
love and you've been more than faithful to me long enough, so make
me that promise.

I won't rest thinking you're wasting precious time grieving for me when
you could be in that man's arms, loving him and doing what grieving for
me you need to. He can help you though it when no one else can, Son.
He once needed you to lean on but now you'll need him.  Lean on Dan,
Billy; trust him, serve him, and love him. 

I had a good, long talk with Buck and if Dan Yates is half the man his
son is, you'll have more lovin' man on your hands than you'll know
what to do with. He'll be a wonderful Master for you who you can serve
with pride and respect."

Red made me start crying again.

"I'll try, Master. It ain't gonna' be easy."

"I know you, Cowboy. You'll want to spend a year or more grieving for
me before you go to him. Don't! Go to him immediately! I've already
talked to your dad and told him the same thing, he agrees with me. I've
entrusted your dad with your slave contract and a couple other legal
documents he'll tell you about after I'm gone.

I've been accused of being jealous of your love for Dan, but the God's
honest truth is, you never gave me a minutes doubt of your love for me,
so how could I have been jealous?  I only wish circumstances had
been different and I could've gotten to know Dan.  I know, without a
doubt, he'd be a man I love and admire.

Now, I can't leave knowing you're gonna' be hurt'n for some long
period of time missing me. Don't do that to me, Cowboy. You must
obey me 'cause that's my last order to you as your Master. It was hard
enough to have you watch me die let alone the idea you might spend
your precious time in this life being miserable grieving for me.

You're Dad will talk to you about some things I made sure of would be
done for you. I know you trust me. Your Master knows what's best for
his slave.  Oh and by the way, I heard every word you said those days
you sat by my side and talked to me. I couldn't respond but I heard you
and you'll never know how far that went to take the fear and panic
from my heart.

And, what can I say about the times you got me hard talking that
wonderful, dirty shit you'd talk about;  your confessions to me.  Then
you'n Sonny would take me in your hot little mouths.  You and Sonny
would lay there and sucked each other off next to me.

I wanted to be holding both of you in my arms so badly and couldn't.
Son, you'll never know what that meant to me. I couldn't respond but it
was some of the best sex you or Sonny ever gave me.  Your's was the
most unselfish act of love I've ever experienced, and I love you for
it.

As long as I could hear your sweet voice and the wonderful shit you
talked about I was calm and my heart was at peace.  I got down on my
knees, cried, begged and pleaded with the Old Man to let me come
back for a while just to tell you that. I'm so grateful he understood and
gave me this time with you. 

Your Uncle Bud wanted me to tell you something about him and me
before we went to Korea. I'm gonna' ask you to ask Sam Jenkins,
Walker, or your dad about it, they'll know.  When you hear the story
hold what I told you in your heart and mind, Cowboy.  You, my young,
handsome slave, were the one great love of my life. It was you,
yourself, I loved and no other."

I cried my heart out in his big arms knowing the end was near. He
realized it, too. I don't think I fully understood how much Red really
loved me and what a big a heart he had. I didn't know if I was going to
be able to obey his last order.

I didn't want to disobey my Master but, at that point, my head was so
confused, all I could think about was I had precious few moments left
with the man I loved and cared for.

Red sat up, ate some toast and jam, drank a cup of coffee and chatted
with our family. They came to say goodbye one last time. I alerted
them the end was near. The nurse was amazed he was lucid and could
see. She never saw this sort of thing before but confirmed the
possibility the time was near.

Red thanked Sonny and Boots for their love and told Sonny to become
a good slave for his dad. Then Red told Sonny something he talked to
me about before.

"Sonny, my love, my son, my slave, Cowboy and I talked about it and if
I could've stayed around longer I was going to put you through slave
training, have you recognized by our family as my slave and have you
sign my contract. I would've held on to you until I knew you were ready
and your Master was ready for you, then sold you to him for a dollar. 

I realize now, I wouldn't have to do that. You're ready, Son.  Once you
decided to trust and never question your Master you worked hard
becoming my slave.  You're there, Billy!

You're ready to server a good Master and your Master is ready for
his slave to serve him. You'll serve him well, Son.  I know it. I love you,
Son." 

That broke Sonny's heart. He broke down again but pulled himself
together.

"Oh, God, Master Red, I love you so much. Take my love with you, Sir."

"I will, Son, I promise." Sonny kissed him goodbye and Boots took
Red's hand.

"That's not gonna' get it, Billy Junior, Master Gunn,  and you know it."
he smiled as he spoke to Boots. Boots leaned over to kiss  him and
Red hugged him one last time.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Everyone left to let Red and I be alone. He wanted to take a nap and I
let the nurse take a long lunch break. I sat by his side on the bed
holding him in my arms, not moving for fear of waking him.

It was a still early spring afternoon. There was no breeze.  I watched
as the curtains moved softly, once, twice, three times.

"Well, hell, you just gonna' stand out there, White." I heard White's
laugh and the curtain moved the final time. We were not alone in the
room.  

"Okay, Guys, I know you're here, I can feel you. You may as well let me
see you." I saw Uncle Bud standing there, smiling at me. Then Buck,
Ken and Rowley appeared. My celestial cowboys. I looked at them and
notice Rowley gained some weight; filled out to look like his dad. He
was a handsome man.

"You've gained weight, Rowley."

"I told ya' he'd notice, Buck. Yeah, I have, Cowboy. Ken likes me a
little heavier, says it all turns to cock at midnight." they had a good
laugh. "We been rodeoing hard over here and I've been eatin' more."

"You rodeo over there?" I asked surprised.

"What da' ya' think? We sit around playing harps all damn day?"
Rowley winked at me then laughed.

"Well, I just,--- never thought---.  Oh, what the hell,---- well, it's good to
see ya'll again." I reached over and kissed Red on his forehead. It
woke him, he opened his eyes and saw them.

"Howdy, Guys.  I want you to thank the Big Guy for letting me have this
morning to say goodbye. It meant a lot to me."  he spoke weakly to
them, barely able to get it out.

"Come with us, Red, and you can thank him yourself.  It's time, we've
come to take you home." They smiled at Red. 

Uncle Bud spoke to me and, somehow, I knew Red couldn't hear him.

"You have to tell him he can go, Cowboy.  You have to let go.  Your
hold on him it too strong. You have to tell him it's all right, you'll be
okay.  He wants to hang on, 'cause he's worried about you. He won't
let go until he's satisfied you'll obey his last command and
go to Dan Yates after he's gone."

"I can't do it, Uncle Bud.  Don't ask me, I can't. It isn't all right for
him to go and leave me. It wasn't all right for you, Buck, Ken and
Rowley to go and leave me. How the hell can I tell this man it's all
right if I don't believe it in my own heart?  'Sides, you taught me to tell
the truth and I'd be telling him a bald faced lie. Furthermore, I don't
know if I can love someone again right away and it would only confuse
Dan. I can't do that to him."

"You have to, Son.  Red's waiting to hear you tell him you're going to
let him go.  If you truly love him, Cowboy, you will.  Remember a long
time ago, you and I had a conversation and I told you there comes a
time when we must say goodbye to all things in life, even life itself?

As far as Dan is concerned, you have to give him that option. Be
brutally honest with him if you wish, but don't leave Dan out of the
equation. You need him, he needs you and together you'll find the way. 

Trust me, Billy.  Trust Dan Yates but more importantly, trust yourself
to be strong and do what must be done. Red needs to know you'll be
all right. He needs to hear you say it. He won't come with us unless
you do; unless you let him go. You won't be telling him a lie if you
mean it.   Let him go, Son."

"Oh, God, Uncle Bud, I don't think I can."

"Be strong, Cowboy. Hell, I know you can.  I've seen you take on bigger
than this and bulldog it to the ground." added Buck, "Set your Master
free, we've come for him. Unless you let him go and he goes with us,
he'll wander by himself trying to see to your happiness and he won't be
able to find his way the longer he
hangs around."

I kissed Red gently on the mouth and he returned it.

"Red, you know I love you but what I'm about to tell you may be the
single, hardest, damn thing I've ever had to do in my life. Listen
carefully, Master, and believe the words I'm going to say. It's all right
for you to go with them,  I'll be all right.  Your slave is setting his
beloved Master free.  I know it's time I must let you go, Red.  God
knows I don't want to but I have to.  Go with Uncle Bud and the
cowboy, Master.  My love goes with you."

 I broke down and started crying but I felt Buck put his hand on my
shoulder and found the strength to finish.

I promise I'll obey your last order; I'll go to Buck's dad. I love you so
much, Red, I promise to go to Dan but you must promise to go with
Uncle Bud and the cowboys." I hugged him and cried.

"I love you, too, Cowboy, I always will. You've never lied to me so I
know you'll do as I ordered. I promise, I'll go with them. God bless you,
Son. I love you, Billy."

The big man breathed deeply, held his breath for a second, let it out
with a satisfied sigh and was gone. Then he appeared with the
cowboys, smiled at me, mouthed the words, 'I love you,' gave me the
okay, thumbs up sign. Uncle Bud took one hand, Buck took the other
and Red left with them out the door of the room.

A great calm came over me. I felt the arms of God, Himself, thrown
'round about me and He was, for a moment, absorbing all hurt, all pain.
My heart was at peace. Buck said the Old Man might drop by to check
on me and so had Griz. He remembered; He came to me.  He was there
holding me.

It was one of the most serene moments of my life. It was like I'd been
removed from the continuum of time, held in His arms, close to His big
heart. He knew I'd be okay He was telling me.

"May take a while but loss isn't as hard to deal with now that you're
older. Obey your Master's order, go to Dan Yates, he'll help. Red was
right, Dan's a good man; one of my favorites. I picked him for you, you
know.  He owns you now.  You'll be his slave and he'll be your new
Master. 

I really love his boy. I love you, too, Son. I love you almost as much as
Buck does."  the Old Man laughed softly,   "After you got your head
from up your butt, you did what I asked, and I'm damn proud of you. 
You'll be rewarded; probably far more than you ever thought.  My rules
are simple: You gives; you gets!  Nothing to it!
  
Your life with your new Master, Dan Yates, is part of your reward but I
have a couple more surprises for you. You have one other person who
will need you and Dan, Son, and then I'll ask no more of you.

You were right, Griz is the giant man I want you to take care of. He'll
come to you later when I take his Master. He's a close personal friend
of mine, Son. I couldn't think of two finer men than you and Dan Yates
who would take better care of him and love him the way he deserves. I
don't have to tell you to trust me anymore, do I?"

I shook my head 'no.'

"Good, You've learned your lesson. Thank goodness!" he exclaimed,
"'Cause I don't happen to have a two by four with me this afternoon."
He made me laugh. 

"You and Dan will receive a great blessing and joy from loving Griz and
I will be most grateful. He has special talents I gave him. Some he
won't develop until he comes to you and Dan. Be good to him, Son.  I
know you will.  I know you love him all ready without measure.  His
love will only strengthen your and Dan's love.
 
Trust him, Billy, he has a soul of pure innocence. He will amaze you
and many.  Remember, I talk to him almost every day. I love him and
enjoy his company. The only time I ever miss talking with him is when
all hell breaks loose and I can't get away;  but, I always send a
messenger to tell him and spend some time with him.

Griz has a trusting spirit and he'll listen to you, Cowboy.  You and Dan
will be his Master's.  Griz is one example of a man who is best served
by being owned by a Master.  In the case of you and Dan, two good
Master.  You will be Griz's Master as well.  You'll work it out.  I haven't
told him yet but I have told him about our conversation.  He know you
didn't lie to him about talking to me.

You can't know how much Griz loves you, Billy.  He's prayed to me,
non-stop to let him be with you.  Of course, I put the bug in your ear to
tell him that but what the hell,---- he listened to you.  You don't tell him
either.  I want him to know he's being rewarded for doing what I asked
of him."

I thanked the Big Man for holding me in His arms and comforting me. I
told Him it meant a lot to me. I assured Him I had no further doubts
and would accept Griz into my life with open arms. Finally, I ask Him
to receive my Master with all the love we shared and with all the love
he shared with Boots and Sonny. He assured me He would and was,
even now. 

"And, Master,---- please tell him for me, Sir: 'I will obey you, my beloved
Master.' He'll understand, Sir." The Old Man's voice cracked.

"I promise, Son, I will."

The nurse came into the room and asked who those cowboys were
who just left the room. She could've sworn one was Sheriff Cummings
and one looked like Red. I smiled and told her the truth. She didn't
believe me;  thought I was crazy from grief, and took Red's pulse. 

I sat on the side of the bed and quietly told her he was gone, he left
with the cowboys. I sat there holding Red's hand.   I told her the exact
time Red left his body.  She noted the time of death for the doctor to
sign the death certificate.

I let her go and asked her to send my dad up. Dad came into the room
and held me as I finally let go and broke down in his big arms. He
comforted and soothed me. He went downstairs and called the funeral
home in our small town. They came and picked up Red's body and took
it away. Dad, Boots, Sonny and I made all the arrangements that day.

Red wanted to be buried in Mason in our family plot and his brother
didn't have any objections. His funeral was to be three days later. I
was amazed. The entire town shut down and came to Red's funeral. 

Motorcycles started arriving early the afternoon the day before the
funeral from all over the country. There were folks camping out all
over the park; in front of the court house; all over the place. Ben,
Harry, Tim, Keshan, Cal and Steve flew in from Reno. There was well
over three hundred motorcycles parked in front of our small church. 

The entire clan family came from Los Angeles.  Master Jeb, Big Jim,
Master Earl D., Wes, Master Zack, Big Beryl, Master Sam, Bull, Charlie
and about two hundred other family members.  Red's brother and Griz
couldn't believe the turn out of people. There was standing room only
and people standing on the walk and lawn in front of our church.

My family from Glen Rose came. Leon, Master Walker and Xander plus
their household help. Big Ben Stafford and his new slave, Ben Jr. flew
in from Calgary. It was wonderful to have their support. Brant and
Rayph kept in touch and knew the end was near.

They drove all the way from South Carolina hoping to arrive before Red
passed but didn't. They stayed for the funeral then returned almost
immediately. Brant and Rayph were devastated but tried to be strong
for me, Sonny and Boots.

When everyone gathered and just before the service was to begin a
huge black limo pulled up out front. Ben's father and body guards got
out and walked into the church. The crowd parted to allow him entry.
He walked slowly to Red's casket and laid a single red rose on top.

It was the kindest, most moving, gesture any man could have made.
He came to me, hugged me to him and held me as I broke down in his
big arms. He comforted me. I composed myself and spoke to him.

"Thank you for coming your Highness. Please, won't you join our
family; your family as well."

"I would be honored, my Son." He sat next to me and held my hand
throughout the service. I was so glad he came and he had no idea how
much his simple gesture and presence meant to me. Our town was
agog over the Sultan of Bahrain coming to our town for Booger
Red's funeral.

Red's brother knew the Sultan personally and they renewed their
association.  Bro. Red and Booger worked many times in Bahrain
putting out oil rig fires. The Sultan remembered Griz and warmly shook
his hand.

After we took Red to the cemetery and said our goodbyes, there was
to be a reception and picnic in the town park. The women of the town
went all out cooking and providing food. I arranged food through the
diner as well. I paid a couple thousand for food and tipped Louise and
Suzie five hundred each to help.

I wouldn't have had to, they would have done it because they loved me
but it made me feel better. They could always use it. Waitresses in
small towns don't make much.

The Sultan and his men joined us. Everyone displayed the proper
respect and gave him his privacy. Tim was at his side translating and
helping the Sultan with his English. He was getting a lot better with his
English and was able to join in our conversations. You never saw such
a mixed crowd of people in your life.

The Sultan was amazed I introduced Lester as one of my dads. Tim
explained Lester had been a family member for years, lived with my
dad and Uncle Joe and helped raise me. He understood the concept
immediately and he and Lester became good friends.

The Sultan fell in love with my dad and Uncle Joe. He thought they
were two of the finest men he'd ever met. The Twisslemans came and
met Ben's dad. Little Sister was all a' twitter but Mrs. Twissleman was
the picture of dignity and grace. She would have been at home on the
ranch or in a palace. She knew how to charm.

Mr. Twissleman was equally charming, bragging about the Sultan's
son, Ben, and how much his family thought of him.  Ed Twissleman
could've been a diplomat. 

Little Sister fell in love with Boots and Sonny. She knew in a minute
what they were all about. They couldn't help fall for her, too.

Everyone was about through eating when a newer pickup truck pulled
up and Tim ran to it. In it was his mother and Dan Yates. I was right
behind Tim. I ran to Dan's open arms and hugged both Mrs. Russell and
him.

"I didn't know whether to come or not," he said nervously. "but your
dad and Mrs. Russell urged me to so we jumped in the truck and came.
Hope it's all right."

"All right?  It's more than all right, Dad, it's wonderful to see you.
You're more than welcome.  It means more to me than you'll ever
know." I kissed him on the cheek. Tim took his mother by the hand to
meet the Sultan and I took Dan's hand to meet him as well.

The Sultan was having a great time. He was a people man and loved to
meet all kinds of people but he always wanted to know who was
related to whom and how these people were connected. He made a
number of associations and connections himself. He knew Dan was
Buck's father and expressed his deepest sympathies for the loss of his
son.

Of course Master Ben came over and hugged Mrs. Russell and Dan. He
had become big friends with Dan and went with Tim to visit the ranch
regularly.

It was a wonderful, love filled day, one Booger would have been proud
of. I know he was watching. I was sad but I had so much love around
me I couldn't stop long enough to be morose. Red wouldn't want me to
be anyway.  Sometimes, I could almost feel him next to me, whispering
in my ear.

"Enjoy yourself, Cowboy.  Accept the love, I'm with you."

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Big Ben Stafford and his slave, Ben Jr. flew in from Calgary to be with
me. Dad picked them up at the San Antonio airport. They were
supportive during my Master's decline in health. Sam Jenkins renewed
acquaintance with Big Ben and met his son. My dad was glad to meet
Ben and Ben Jr.   Walker and Xander were happy to see Ben Stafford
and to meet his son. They were all sitting at a table when I walked up
and heard Sam tell someone,

"Naaaw, I think you're both wrong. I think we should tell him---"

"Well, if you guys won't, I will.  That kid means more to me, Leon and
Xander than you can know."

"Tell me what, Master Sam, Master Walker?" Several of the men turned
red and didn't know I just walked up.

"Did Booger ever tell you why he wanted to buried in your family plot?"
Sam Jenkins asked me.

"No, Master Sam, there were lots of things I didn't know about my
Master.  A few dropped out here and there unexpectedly."

I told them the story of Brant and Rayph. How Brant told Booger in jest
if he thought he could do better with a rope he'd loan him his horse
and rope. Red got on the horse, let out Brant's rope, recoiled it the way
he wanted, got into the stocks, told me to ride heeler and rope the
hinders; he would ride header and rope the head.

I swear to all that's holy, after we broke the timing barrier, Red caught
the steer, turned it, and was backing his horse almost immediately
after the steer cleared the gate. Best time I ever logged with any
partner. Red rode back over to the kid and told him to let that be a
lesson,  never challenge an old man unless you know all about him." 

They looked at each other and fell out laughing at my story.

"I was stunned. Here I'd been with this wonderful man almost four
years and he was as good or better with a rope than I was. It made me
realize there must be many things about my Master I didn't know. It
didn't bother me much.  It only made me love him more. 

I thought Red would tell me if he wanted me to know.  He never said a
word.  I never asked, he was my Master. I trusted him. The morning he
crossed over he said he talked to Uncle Bud and my cowboys. He said
Uncle Bud wanted him to tell me something about them before Korea.  

He told me to ask you, Master Sam, or you, Master Walker, and you
would tell me.  He also told me to remember as I heard the story
I was the one great love of his life."

Big Ben Stafford looked at me with love in his eyes.

"I agree with Sam and Walker, I think it would only make Cowboy love
his Master more. Cowboy brought Red by when they were touring the
country, stayed a week with us and I got to know him pretty well. He
told me the story and asked me to tell Cowboy if no one else would. 

Billy, Red, Boots and Sonny are responsible for me and my boy coming
to know and love each other. I owe Cowboy that." said Ben Stafford.

"What's this all about, Gentlemen?" I asked.

"Tell him Sam." my dad spoke to Sam Jenkins

"Did you ever wonder why your Uncle Bud told you, you made the best
possible choice of the men who were at the Johnson ranch; why he
was so easy about you being attracted to Red and encouraged it?"

"I thought he wanted to cushion the pain of him and I having to
separate after being together for a year."

"That was the main reason, you're right, but did you notice there were
six other fine looking men there that night and me makes seven;---
although, I ain't what you'd call a raving beauty.  Then there was old
ugly, he called himself, Booger Red. Did you ever wonder about that,
Cowboy?"

"No, Sir, my eyes stopped at Master Red and I didn't pay much
attention to any of the others except you, Master Sam;---- you asked
me, why I picked Red?"

"Yes, and I remember your answer. Without thinking you gave me the
best possible answer to that question. It was honest, correct and from
the heart. You told us Booger Red just felt right to you. That's what
happens when two men bond, it just feels right.

Well, those good looking men were there because your uncle called
Walker and set it up with him. He wanted some good looking available
Masters there to tempt you into an affair with one of 'em so's it would
temper the pain of your parting. It would show you,  you could love
others and not break your heart over losing Bud.

He loved you enough to do that for you. He specifically asked Walker
to have Red there, but not for you, for him."

I knew my uncle spoke of Red in reverence when he spoke about him. 
I remembered they had shared something in Korea. I was beginning to
feel uneasy like I wasn't really sure I wanted to hear this story, but my
Master wanted me to. I trusted him. Once I gave myself to him totally,
he always made the right decisions for his slave.

"I know what you're thinking but the story doesn't end there, Son.
There's more. Most of the men sitting here, at one time or another, 
rode the rodeo circuit together. Ben and your uncle were roping
partners, and Master and slave for about, what Ben, five, six years?"
asked Sam.

"Six." replied Big Ben Stafford. "I loved your uncle without measure,
Billy. You have to know that. I was so in love with that man. He was
the perfect partner for me; even tempered, concerned, giving and one
hell of a roper; a lot better'n I was. We won some but we never made it
to the finals.  Bud could've picked any cowboy he wanted for a partner. 
Many were a lot better'n me 'cause Bud was damn good. He rarely
missed.

I wanted a family and be a rancher. I knew I wasn't good enough to be
a champion roper. Rodeo life can be exciting but it's for young men,
Son. I was getting older when your uncle came along and he wanted to
become my slave. I'd never been with a man before. Truth was, I'd
never been with a  woman at that time either.

I wasn't saving myself, hell, we were too damn busy getting to the
next rodeo. Bud and I were together 24/7.  Well, you know how it is
from your year with Bud. I don't know to this day how it happened but
like you told Sam about Red, it just felt right, me loving and being with
Bud. So, I extended my rodeo career another six years to be with the
handsome cowboy I fell in love with.

My time was running out and I had nothing to show for it. I'd banked
my half of the prize money your uncle and I won but in those days the
prizes weren't as big as they are today. It broke my heart and Bud's
but I left him to get married, settle down, and raise a family.

For years I had regrets until I had my first son. Then I knew I'd done
the right thing. I had a hole in my heart for years afterward for Bud that
never went away. If I hadn't done what I did, I probably wouldn't have
this handsome young cowboy sitting next to me for my slave."

Ben put his arm around Ben Jr. and pulled him close and kissed him on
the forehead. Ben Jr. smiled and blushed. They were still, very much in
love.

"Bud nearly went crazy grieving for Ben, until this big, ugly cowpoke
came along on the circuit out of know where and he was a wizard with
a fucking rope. At that time, I'd say Bud was just about the best roper
on the circuit. Any arguments, Gentlemen?" Sam asked the men at the
table. They all nodded their heads and allowed he was right.

"Well this buckaroo may have been ugly as homemade soap but he
was better'n Bud.  He could out rope anybody, and I mean anybody, on
the circuit. He was deadly accurate and never missed a throw;
especially in competition. He never got nervous. He was cool, calm
and collected when he was in the arena. Guess who that ugly
cowpoke was, Son?" Master Sam asked somewhat rhetorically.

"My Master?" I managed to get out without breaking down.

"That's right." continued Sam,

"Booger Red. That's the name he went by even then. I think Bud was
the only cowboy on the circuit who knew his real name. Red saw your
uncle rope with Ben, found out Bud didn't have a partner anymore and
ask him to partner with him at several rodeos. Bud agreed and they
won every time.

Red quickly got a reputation as a bad ass and nobody fucked with him.
He was pretty mellow to a point, but a couple of times one of the
cowboys pushed him past his flash point. They never did it the second
time.

After seeing a couple of men who got into a fight with Red, nobody
else was stupid enough to cross him. He was a good man but there are
assholes in this world who just have to see how far they can push a
man.

Bud was the type, a man's looks weren't important to him.  It was
what's inside him he was drawn to.  He didn't know Red all that well to
begin with. They didn't associate much outside of rope'n together. 
Bud knew Red's reputation, but he also knew a damn good roper when
he saw one.

Bud and Red began to burn up the rodeo circuit. The more they paired
up the better they got. Didn't seem like nobody could beat 'em.

Bud approached Red one day and ask him to throw in with him, be his
roping partner. Red was thrilled. Not only was Bud the second best
roper on the circuit he was the best looking cowboy. There were a lot
of buckaroos sho would've loved to had Bud for their partner. 

So, Red and Bud became roping partners; only roping partners. Red
was straight; never been with a man.  Red was tolerant to men who
went with other men; however, he let everyone know he was straight
and didn't care to bunk it in with men.

Well, everyone on the circuit knew Bud was Ben's slave for six years
and Bud wasn't the kind of man to bunk it in with a cowboy without
being truthful with him. When he asked Red to throw in with him, Bud
laid his cards on the table. 

Since they were gonna' be together a lot he wanted Red to know he
wasn't interested in him that way. He knew Red was straight. As
long as Red respected him, Bud would respect Red. He wouldn't bother
Red if Red didn't bother him. They'd be sleeping in the same bunk in a
camper over Bud's truck. Could Red handle it? Red thought it over for a
second and agreed.

At first, Bud wasn't interested in Red sexually.  He was homely, to be
kind; however, dress Booger Red up in cowboy clothes, a big, wide
brimmed hat and he was as authentic a looking buckaroo as any of us
on the circuit. Granted, one of the meanest,  ugly looking cowboys on
the circuit.

Well, they won everything, including the national finals that year. I
know he never told you but he won three nationals with Red. They
partnered four years. After the first year, Bud was smitten, head over
heals in love with the big, ugly cowboy.  Every cowboy on the circuit
wanted a chance with Bud but he wouldn't go with anybody, even
though he and Booger weren't having sex.

Red didn't have a clue, but he knew something was happening. He was
feeling something for Bud because he and Bud were inseparable. We
all saw what was happening but didn't understand it.  We jokingly
called them beauty and the beast.

One night, one of the young cowboys, new to the circuit, thought Bud
was about the finest looking cowboy he'd ever seen. He casually
asked Bud if he'd consider bunking it in with him sometime.

We were all sitting around some picnic tables behind the rodeo
grounds drinking beer. Red was there with Bud. The cowboy knew they
were roping partners but everyone told him Red was straight and the
two men went their own way.

Before Bud could answer, Red jumped the guy and almost beat the
poor man to death; beat the living fuck out of him. Took five men to
pull him off and another three to separate them. They called an
ambulance and took the kid to the hospital to put him back together.
He required something like forty-two stitches in his face and upper
body. It wasn't pretty.

The kid came back from the hospital all bandaged with his arm in a
sling. The rodeo association wanted to throw Red out. The kid was a
cowboy and believed in the cowboy code. He went before the
association, told them it wasn't Red's fault, it was a misunderstanding. 

He didn't realize it at the time but he pushed Red to far. They were
both at fault. If they threw Red out then by rights they should throw
him out, too. They believed him and since he was truthful about it, so
they thought, they forgave both of them.



End Chapter 22~Booger Red & Cowboy
Copyright 2003 Waddie Greywolf
Mail to: <waddiebear@yahoo.com>