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\pard\plain\ltrpar\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}There's nothing quite like having your studying interrupted by a pretty girl. Unfortunately, when Cammie came knocking on my apartment door that afternoon, she wasn't trying to get my attention the way I'd dreamed.}
\par\pard\plain\ltrpar\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}
\par}\pard\plain\ltrpar\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}I was on a roll doing my senior thesis. I already had seventy-five pages written. The end was in sight. I was about to start a new paragraph when the knocking started. I sighed, hit the save button, then got up to get the door.}
\par\pard\plain\ltrpar\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}
\par}\pard\plain\ltrpar\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}"Kit, you have to help me." Those were the first words out of her mouth as she charged past me into the living room. She didn't even give me a chance to greet her. I just stood there for a second with the door hanging open, watching her as she spun around and looked at me pleadingly. "You just have to!"}
\par\pard\plain\ltrpar\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}
\par}\pard\plain\ltrpar\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}I looked back out the door. "Hi, Cammie. No, I'm not that busy, come on in!" I watched "her" come in the door, then smiled as "she" apparently asked me how I was. "I'm good, thanks. Senior thesis is really going, I should be able to get rid of that first draft before the course even starts in a week. Doing my research while }{\f0\fs20\i\lang1033{\*\listtag0} }{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}I was taking summer school really paid off.}{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}" Then I looked at the real Cammie. She was blushing now, one hand to her lips. "Now, what can I do for you?"}
\par\pard\plain\ltrpar\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}
\par}\pard\plain\ltrpar\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}"I'm sorry, Kit! I didn't even think...but I'm just so scattered, I don't know what to do!"}
\par\pard\plain\ltrpar\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}
\par}\pard\plain\ltrpar\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}I closed the door and joined Cammie in the living room. "First of all, it can't be that bad. What's going on?"}
\par\pard\plain\ltrpar\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}
\par}\pard\plain\ltrpar\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}She plunked herself down on the couch. "You know I decided I'm going to pledge with the Gammas, right?"}
\par\pard\plain\ltrpar\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}
\par}\pard\plain\ltrpar\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}I nodded. Cammie and I had been friends since our senior year of high school. I'd taken my courses very aggressively, and was going to be graduating on-time in the spring. Like most people, Cammie had decided it was more realistic to go to school for five years. It had saved her sanity, but it meant she was still short her hours for graduation. About two months into the summer, Cammie had decided that pledging a sorority would help her transcript make up for the longer time in college, come time to apply to grad school. I'd tried to talk her out of it, but she was adamant. Now she was caught up with pledge activities and I rarely saw her. "Yeah, and they're a pretty good crew," I said, trying to keep my voice neutral. "Is it going badly?" I added as I sat down beside her.}
\par\pard\plain\ltrpar\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}
\par}\pard\plain\ltrpar\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}Cammie nodded, covering her face with her slim hands for a moment before removing them. She took a deep breath and her story all but exploded out of her. "They're doing a slave auction and everyone has to get up in bathing suits and even if we're not supposed to do anything you know sexy I still feel ugly and I don't know if I can do it and we have to if we're pledges and I'm so close to getting in and everyone likes me and I don't want to let them down..."}
\par\pard\plain\ltrpar\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}
\par}\pard\plain\ltrpar\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}I held up a hand. "Whoa, whoa, whoa! I don't listen as fast as you talk, lady! Slow it down a bit for the poor brainless man here. What's going on again?" I picked up her hand and started to massage the palm. "One step at a time, with time for me to ask questions, OK?"}
\par\pard\plain\ltrpar\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}
\par}\pard\plain\ltrpar\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}She took another deep breath. I watched her, concerned, while she sorted out her thoughts. "OK. OK. Here's what's going on. We're almost halfway into the semester, and we're getting ready to do our big fundraiser before fall break. With me so far?"}
\par\pard\plain\ltrpar\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}
\par}\pard\plain\ltrpar\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}I nodded again, switching hands. "Right beside you. Go on."}
\par\pard\plain\ltrpar\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}
\par}\pard\plain\ltrpar\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}"The fundraiser is a slave auction. We're not supposed to do anything sexual!" she added, seeing my expression. "But we are supposed to present ourselves in bathing suits and everything, on a stage and a runway. The pledges have to do it, the sisters can decide not to. And I don't know if I can do it, Kit!"}
\par\pard\plain\ltrpar\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}
\par}\pard\plain\ltrpar\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}She was starting to speed back up. I put up a finger and she subsided. "Permission to ask questions, Keptin?"}
\par\pard\plain\ltrpar\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}
\par}\pard\plain\ltrpar\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}She laughed, a little nervous, but answered the old joke with a "Permission granted, Ensign, but this had better be relevant!" }
\par\pard\plain\ltrpar\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}
\par}\pard\plain\ltrpar\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}I was relieved she responded that way. If she hadn't, I would have told her to tell the Gammas to go to hell. "So let me get this straight. You get auctioned off...for how long?"}
\par\pard\plain\ltrpar\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}
\par}\pard\plain\ltrpar\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}She shook her head. "That's not the important thing, Kit. It's the whole stage thing." She swallowed hard, and I could see her lips going white. "I can't do it. I can't."}
\par\pard\plain\ltrpar\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}
\par}\pard\plain\ltrpar\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}It all came into focus for me. Cammie was terribly afraid of getting up in front of large groups. Ten, twenty people, she could manage if she kept her eyes closed the whole time. The number of people who would come to a sorority slave auction would mean she'd be throwing up for two weeks before the day of the event. For her, the idea of being auctioned off and having to do what someone told her was not half as threatening as the auction itself. I took a deep breath.}
\par\pard\plain\ltrpar\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}
\par}\pard\plain\ltrpar\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}"So, how can I help you with this? I can't get you out of it, and I don't think you're asking for my support in dropping out of the pledge." I managed to keep the hope from my voice. It wouldn't help matters if she felt I was being snide at her.}
\par\pard\plain\ltrpar\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}
\par}\pard\plain\ltrpar\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}She shook her head. "I need you to help me get unafraid of being on stage."}
\par\pard\plain\ltrpar\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}
\par}\pard\plain\ltrpar\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}I blinked at her. "How am I supposed to do that?"}
\par\pard\plain\ltrpar\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}
\par}\pard\plain\ltrpar\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}She started to pace faster again. "I don't know! You're the psychology major, you think of something! Didn't you do research on this kinda thing?" I could feel her hysteria rising. "Don't you know how to help me? You're the only one who can!"}
\par\pard\plain\ltrpar\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}
\par}\pard\plain\ltrpar\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}I hesitated. The counseling services at the student health centers were wonderful, but Cammie would never be caught dead going there. If any of the sisters knew, she wouldn't be able to face them. I remembered that one of the seniors worked there as part of her internship. No good. It would have to be me.}
\par\pard\plain\ltrpar\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}
\par}\pard\plain\ltrpar\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}"I know how I think I can help you, Cammie," I soothed, mind racing. I had some time for desensitization, but not enough without a little additional punch to it. I needed a way to get through to her deeper subconscious. "It'll mean that you have to trust me, though, and it'll mean that you have to be willing to get rid of your fear. Are you with me?"}
\par\pard\plain\ltrpar\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}
\par}\pard\plain\ltrpar\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}She spun around to face me, shaking. "I want it gone, Kit!" She bit her lip again. "I can't sleep...I can't eat. The thought of all those eyes on me..."}
\par\pard\plain\ltrpar\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}
\par}\pard\plain\ltrpar\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}I interrupted her. "...won't mean a thing in three weeks. I promise. I'm just going to work with you on some visualization exercises to start, and see how you respond. All right? We'll get you desensitized." I chose my words deliberately, so she would know I was in take-charge mode. }
\par\pard\plain\ltrpar\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}
\par}\pard\plain\ltrpar\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}She took a deep breath and nodded. "All right." Then she started pacing again.}
\par\pard\plain\ltrpar\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}
\par}\pard\plain\ltrpar\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}I sighed. "You're too upset right now to even think straight, Cammie. Sit down, quit pacing. It's not going to help."\line   }
\par\pard\plain\ltrpar\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}Cammie shook her head. "I can't. I'm just all worked up. I'll sit down in a minute, I promise." She kept pacing around my too-small living room. I felt my blood pressure rising. That was when I almost snapped at her, to ask if she wanted me to do this or not.\line   }
\par\pard\plain\ltrpar\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}Luckily, I remembered something I'd read somewhere. I took a deep breath and smiled. "OK, then. DO you want a glass of water?"\line   }
\par\pard\plain\ltrpar\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}Cammie nodded, grabbing a kleenex. She blew her nose and nodded again piteously. I excused myself to the kitchen.}
\par\pard\plain\ltrpar\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}While the water was filling the glass, I closed my eyes and centered myself. Sometimes it pays to have a photographic memory. I tried to remember the book I'd read, and what it had mentioned about situations like this. By the time I had two glasses of water ready, I knew what I was doing. }
\par\pard\plain\sb99\sa99\ltrpar\s34\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}I went back into the living room. Cammie was still pacing, but her color was better. I handed her a glass and sat down in my comfy chair. "I know you're stressed out, Cammie. I know that you're all caught up in thinking about what scares you. Shhh...I know. It's OK." I didn't let her speak when she opened her mouth, holding up a finger. "Just drink your water and listen to me for a minute, Cammie. It's OK. You knew it would be, or you wouldn't have come here, right?"\line   }
\par\pard\plain\sb99\sa99\ltrpar\s34\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}I didn't let her answer that. "I've never let you down, hon, and I'm not about to start now." I watched as she took a sip of her drink, eyes on my face. Her pacing was slowing down. Good. I took a deep breath and gave her my most winning smile. "And I know you want to pace yourself out. It's OK. Sooner or later, you'll want to sit down on the couch. Or maybe you'll be happier in this comfy chair." I got up and smiled at her, leaning on the wall. \line   }
\par\pard\plain\sb99\sa99\ltrpar\s34\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}"Either way, you'll pace yourself out soon. Pacing like this helps you ditch energy, and when you sit down you may be more relaxed anyway. Right?"\line   }
\par\pard\plain\sb99\sa99\ltrpar\s34\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}She took another sip of water and then nodded. "I guess so..."\line   }
\par\pard\plain\sb99\sa99\ltrpar\s34\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}"Of course. I bet you can already feel the change happening. It's an easy thing. Besides, you came here to get some support. You knew I'd give it, and you can feel it now." I smiled at her again. "Just take a deep breath, and pace as long as you need to, and sit where you feel best. There's really no rush at all. I was only planning on working on that paper tonight, and I'm ahead of schedule on it."\line  }
\par\pard\plain\sb99\sa99\ltrpar\s34\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}She took another few steps around the room, but I was ready for that. "Besides, sooner or later you'll get tired of carrying that glass around. Right now, the only choice you have to make is where you'll sit. Will you sit in the chair, letting it support you and putting up your feet...or will you sprawl out on the couch? You've crashed there before, you know how good that feels. That's really all you have to decide right now."\line She looked down at the glass, then put it down on a coaster next to the chair. I grinned to myself. "That's it. You're already calming down, and I think you've made your choice. Sooner or later, you'll feel that chair calling you, Cammie. It's soft and familiar and you can just kick back there and let go of all this stress."\line   }
\par\pard\plain\sb99\sa99\ltrpar\s34\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}I could feel her listening to me, even when she wasn't watching me directly. I just kept talking. "You've been really worried about this whole stage thing, but you're ready to get rid of the tension. After all, you don't like being sick, you don't like being sleepless. And you are tired. I can see it in your face, your posture. You're safe here and now, you know that. How often have you crashed here?" }
\par\pard\plain\sb99\sa99\ltrpar\s34\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}  }
\par\pard\plain\sb99\sa99\ltrpar\s34\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}Cammie smiled a little. "More than I can count..." she admitted. Her voice was a bit uncertain, but another nod and grin from me relaxed her shoulders.\line   }
\par\pard\plain\sb99\sa99\ltrpar\s34\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}"You know it. Just like you'll know when you're ready to sit down and relax and close your eyes. Deep inside, you know when that'll be. It may be five minutes, it may be one minute, it may be after your next step. But it will happen, and it'll feel good to sit down and just sigh and kick back."\line   }
\par\pard\plain\sb99\sa99\ltrpar\s34\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}Cammie had almost stopped pacing. She paused uncertainly, looking from me to the chair. I nodded encouragement. "Whenever you're ready, honey. just sit down and get comfy and close your eyes and kick back...and let me talk to you for a while. You won't have to do a thing, I promise." }
\par\pard\plain\sb99\sa99\ltrpar\s34\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}  }
\par\pard\plain\sb99\sa99\ltrpar\s34\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}That settled it for Cammie. "Sounds delicious," she murmured and sat down. I stepped forward and pulled the lever, popping up the footrest on the comfy chair. She took a deep breath and sighed, closing her eyes. "Mmmm...it is delicious. What are you doing?" she added, sitting up slight and reopening her eyes to look at me.\line   }
\par\pard\plain\sb99\sa99\ltrpar\s34\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}"Just getting your shoes off. You'll be more comfortable, I promise. Sit back, close your eyes," I soothed her. "Let me baby you some, honey. You've been an utter stressball, and I want you to just let me take care of you for now." }
\par\pard\plain\sb99\sa99\ltrpar\s34\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}  }
\par\pard\plain\sb99\sa99\ltrpar\s34\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}Cammie whimpered a little as I took off her shoes and set them down a little ways away. "OK, fine..." she muttered. "If you want to...I don't mind. You've always been such a good friend...I knew I could count on you."\line   }
\par\pard\plain\sb99\sa99\ltrpar\s34\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}I grinned to myself, but kept my voice gentle and soothing. "You can count on me. You can always count on me. You followed your instinct, and it led you here. Now I want you to just listen to your body for a minute. Just take a deep breath and listen to yourself. Let your arms rest on the chair or in your lap, whatever feels better. Sprawl a little. It's just me and you."\line   }
\par\pard\plain\sb99\sa99\ltrpar\s34\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}Cammie nodded, resettling herself a little. I paid close attention to her posture, watching her hands and her ankles carefully. She was relaxing, but she was nowhere close to where I wanted her yet.\line   }
\par\pard\plain\sb99\sa99\ltrpar\s34\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}"Now with your shoes off, you can let your feet relax more. They're free and you can wiggle your toes more. Go on and do that...let yourself enjoy being in this position, sitting easily, comfortably, and with your feet up. You've wanted that, you know it. Enjoy it. Stretch your feet and legs."\line   }
\par\pard\plain\sb99\sa99\ltrpar\s34\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}Cammie moaned a little as she stretched. "Yeah, that feels good..." she said softly. Her tone was a little dreamy. "You're spoiling me rotten, you know."\line   }
\par\pard\plain\sb99\sa99\ltrpar\s34\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}I laughed. "Cammie, you need some spoiling right now. You're tired and you want to relax and not worry about it any more. You've found the perfect place. Just feel how good your legs and feet feel now. It's easy. Do that with your hands and arms...stretch them out and really work out the stress. Go ahead."\line   }
\par\pard\plain\sb99\sa99\ltrpar\s34\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}She lifted her arms high over her head, stretching. I heard at least three pops before she lowered them back to her lap with a satisfied sigh. "Ooh, I needed that!"\line   }
\par\pard\plain\sb99\sa99\ltrpar\s34\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}"I know, Cammie...now keep your eyes closed, but roll your head around on your neck until you feel it release tension. Then let it settle back into the most comfortable position you can in the chair. Just let it happen, let go of the stress."\line   }
\par\pard\plain\sb99\sa99\ltrpar\s34\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}This time, I heard four pops. I winced, glad she couldn't see me with her eyes closed. Why had she waited so long before coming for help? I completely forgot about how pissed off I'd been when she interrupted me. }
\par\pard\plain\sb99\sa99\ltrpar\s34\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}When she had herself settled again, I looked her over carefully. "That's good, Cammie. I can see you're much calmer and more relaxed. It's been a while since you felt this, perhaps, but your body remembers what it's like to be really mellow and calm and comfortable. Remember when you fell asleep on the couch in the student center that afternoon, a few semesters back, and you were totally out, and I sat by you to make sure no one bugged you?"\line   }
\par\pard\plain\sb99\sa99\ltrpar\s34\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}She nodded a little, smiling to herself. I went on. "You just closed your eyes and relaxed and let the couch hold you, support your body, and gave yourself to deep relaxation. That time you fell asleep...but you remember what it felt like to relax that deeply. You remember and your body remembers. It was so peaceful, and calm, and a little heavy feeling...your eyes didn't want to open, you told me before you fell asleep."\line   }
\par\pard\plain\sb99\sa99\ltrpar\s34\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}Her eyelids twitched a little. I noticed it but kept talking. "They didn't want to open then, and I'm sure as you remember it they really don't want to open now. In fact, as you and your body together remember what that felt like, you may notice you don't want to move at all. That's all right. You really don't need to move for now. Just take deep breaths, easy breaths, the kind your body wants to take right now if you just let it.\line   }
\par\pard\plain\sb99\sa99\ltrpar\s34\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}"And you're going to let it, Cammie, because you know it feels so good to remember that afternoon, and it feels good to relax now. It always feels good to kick back. You can remember the sun shining in on your body, even though your face was away from the light. You remember the soft warmth of the sun streaming in through the window and onto you, while you pillowed your head on your backpack."\line   }
\par\pard\plain\sb99\sa99\ltrpar\s34\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}"But this is even more comfortable than that was...because this chair is so soft and relaxing, and you can just feel your body relaxing into it now. You can feel it supporting you, and you can remember what it felt like then, and realize that this is even better, more comfortable, more relaxed, more peaceful. There's no one walking by now...it's just you and me."\line   }
\par\pard\plain\sb99\sa99\ltrpar\s34\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}"It's just you and me, and the warm peaceful relaxation of the chair, and your body letting go of stress and tension. You might notice that your breathing is deeper now, and more relaxed...and that your body is so heavy, so peaceful...you can feel that, but you don't have to nod to respond to me, or even to speak right now. You can just move one finger if you want to, for yes or no."\line   }
\par\pard\plain\sb99\sa99\ltrpar\s34\sl240\slmult1{\f0\fs20\lang1033{\*\listtag0}I watched as her fingers moved just a little. "The left hand is no, and the right hand is yes. Just one finger. The rest of your body can totally relax. Your face and jaw and neck can relax, since you won't need them right now. You can even let your mouth open a little bit, and relax more. If you need to swallow, that's all right...it's an easy thing to do, and you can find yourself relaxing more then too."}
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