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\b\f1\fs32\lang1033\langfe1033\kerning32\cgrid\langnp1033\langfenp1033 {\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f44\insrsid11344053\charrsid13967999 Sex Education
\par by Gary Jordan
\par }\pard\plain \ltrpar\s3\qc \li0\ri0\sb240\sa60\keepn\widctlpar\wrapdefault\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\outlinelevel2\adjustright\rin0\lin0\itap0\pararsid13967999 \rtlch\fcs1 \ab\af1\afs26\alang1025 \ltrch\fcs0 
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\f44\fs20\insrsid11344053\charrsid13967999 
\par }\pard\plain \ltrpar\s19\ql \fi210\li0\ri0\sa120\widctlpar\wrapdefault\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\adjustright\rin0\lin0\itap0\pararsid13967999 \rtlch\fcs1 \af0\afs24\alang1025 \ltrch\fcs0 \fs24\lang1033\langfe1033\cgrid\langnp1033\langfenp1033 {\rtlch\fcs1 
\af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid11344053\charrsid13967999 The Minister of the Interior said, "Something should have been done before now! His}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid13967999\charrsid13967999  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\insrsid11344053\charrsid13967999 Highness the Prince has been raised... apart from his peers and has had no proper}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid13967999\charrsid13967999  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid11344053\charrsid13967999 
education of the duties of a husband, as his sainted mother's religious convictions}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid13967999\charrsid13967999  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid11344053\charrsid13967999 would not permit of such instruction."
 He muttered something about "religious}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid13967999\charrsid13967999  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid11344053\charrsid13967999 twaddle" just low enough to be permitted the illusion that no one else heard. "His}{
\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid13967999\charrsid13967999  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid11344053\charrsid13967999 selected bride was raised similarly innocent."
\par The Minister of the Exchequer agreed. "It is almost criminal that the Prince has}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid13967999\charrsid13967999  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid11344053\charrsid13967999 
nearly reached manhood without knowing the so-called 'facts of life'-almost}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid13967999\charrsid13967999  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid11344053\charrsid13967999 
criminal! I have no objection to his bride being pure and chaste, but one of them}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid13967999\charrsid13967999  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid11344053\charrsid13967999 should know what they are doing."
\par The Prime Minister observed, "He should have been allowed to learn as we were, with}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid13967999\charrsid13967999  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid11344053\charrsid13967999 
our friends sniggering misinformation and our parents shamefacedly trying to correct}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid13967999\charrsid13967999  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid11344053\charrsid13967999 the misapprehensions... but Her 
Majesty, God rest her soul, would have none of that.}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid13967999\charrsid13967999  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid11344053\charrsid13967999 
The King always meant to get around to it, and now on his deathbed it is too late.}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid13967999\charrsid13967999  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid11344053\charrsid13967999 The princess's circumstances were similar"

\par The War Minister was more practical. "What's to be done, then? One of us to explain}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid13967999\charrsid13967999  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid11344053\charrsid13967999 
what dogs and dairymaids all know without instruction? I think I pass."
\par The Prime Minister polled all present by eye and found unanimous revolt. He sighed.}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid13967999\charrsid13967999  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid11344053\charrsid13967999 "
In olden days, the education would be provided by low-caste wenches brought in for}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid13967999\charrsid13967999  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid11344053\charrsid13967999 the pur
pose. In these more modern times, we have eliminated that element of society.}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid13967999\charrsid13967999  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid11344053\charrsid13967999 
If such education is to be provided, it shall have to be done by someone of rank."}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid13967999\charrsid13967999  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid11344053\charrsid13967999 He thought a bit. "
I have a solution. This meeting is adjourned."
\par 
\par "What?!" cried the Widow. "You can't possibly be serious!"
\par "Nevertheless," said the Minister, "I am. You are a young widow, and quite}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid13967999\charrsid13967999  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid11344053\charrsid13967999 attractive."
\par "You want me to, to lie with the prince in order to teach him to lie with his}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid13967999\charrsid13967999  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid11344053\charrsid13967999 princess? Are you mad?"
\par "I have heard you, among all my secretaries, decry the state of education in the}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid13967999\charrsid13967999  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid11344053\charrsid13967999 
realm. This is a chance to raise the educational standards."
\par "I have protested the poor execution of math and science instruction! I have said}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid13967999\charrsid13967999  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid11344053\charrsid13967999 nothing of fucking arts!"
\par "No need to be crude."
\par "And what will become of me afterwards? I suspect you will not permit 'the woman who}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid13967999\charrsid13967999  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid11344053\charrsid13967999 bedded the prince'
 to return to your secretarial pool."
\par "No. And in that regard, the consequences already are underway, since I would not}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid13967999\charrsid13967999  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid11344053\charrsid13967999 permit the woman}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 
\ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid11344053  who was }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\insrsid11344053\charrsid11344053 asked}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid11344053\charrsid13967999  to bed the prince to return, either."
\par "Bastard!"
\par "I hope you will refrain from such crudities in the presence of the prince."
\par "What's to become of me, then?"
\par "You have a choice of cloister or exile to the colonies, with a stake." The minister}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid13967999\charrsid13967999  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid11344053\charrsid13967999 
did not tell her where the stake would be driven.
\par 
\par The Royal Doctor met secretly with the Privy Council to report on the lack of an}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid13967999\charrsid13967999  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid11344053\charrsid13967999 heir after nearly a year of marriage be
tween the King and his Queen. "My Lords, I}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid13967999\charrsid13967999  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid11344053\charrsid13967999 must state out of hand that the educational system of the kingdom is quite}{
\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid13967999\charrsid13967999  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid11344053\charrsid13967999 deplorable and nowhere more so than in the instruction to nobility."
\par "Not that we disagree, but what in this instance do you mean?" the Prime Minister}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid13967999\charrsid13967999  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid11344053\charrsid13967999 asked for all present.
\par "In this instance, the interference of the religious beliefs of some has... never}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid13967999\charrsid13967999  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid11344053\charrsid13967999 mind."
\par "But a means around that\emdash " began the Prime Minister.
\par "I was made aware by his majesty," said the doctor, coldly, "of your provision of}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid13967999\charrsid13967999  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid11344053\charrsid13967999 
an... instructress... for his education. He speaks of her quite fondly. In her two}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid13967999\charrsid13967999  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid11344053\charrsid13967999 
weeks of tutoring, she raised His Highness from a complete and total ignoramus in}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid13967999\charrsid13967999  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid11344053\charrsid13967999 
the topics of marital lust to merely ignorant. Then she disappeared."
\par "But\emdash "
\par "Once a proper doctor-patient rapport was achieved with their majesties, assured of}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid13967999\charrsid13967999  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid11344053\charrsid13967999 
confidentiality, the state of their mutual education was explored. They became quite}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid13967999\charrsid13967999  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid11344053\charrsid13967999 open.
\par "The widow's instruction in kissing after the fashion of the French was first rate.}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid13967999\charrsid13967999  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid11344053\charrsid13967999 
Their Highnesses are both extremely... oral. This extends to exploration...}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid13967999\charrsid13967999  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid11344053\charrsid13967999 orally... of each other's body. 
If their Majesties are to be believed, His Highness}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid13967999\charrsid13967999  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid11344053\charrsid13967999 is a remarkably accomplished gamahucheur and Her Highness is an equally}{
\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid13967999\charrsid13967999  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid11344053\charrsid13967999 distinguished fellatrice." The doctor colored slightly as he revealed these facts,}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\insrsid13967999\charrsid13967999  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid11344053\charrsid13967999 as did all in the council.
\par "Is that all they do, then?" asked an appalled Minister of the Interior.
\par "Not at all," the doctor replied, but there was a wry twist of his lips. "Although I}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid13967999\charrsid13967999  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid11344053\charrsid13967999 gathered an 
impression that either would be forever satisfied even if their marital}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid13967999\charrsid13967999  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid11344053\charrsid13967999 
proclivities were restricted to that much, your widow taught her prince that}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid13967999\charrsid13967999  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid11344053\charrsid13967999 
penetration was an activity his spouse would greatly enjoy, as did she. And she did}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid13967999\charrsid13967999  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid11344053\charrsid13967999 enjoy it greatly, acc
ording to our King as do He and the Queen. Where is the widow}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid13967999\charrsid13967999  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid11344053\charrsid13967999 now, by the by? Their Majesties... and I... are quite curious."

\par The Prime Minister's forehead was beaded with perspiration. "I'm afraid she}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid13967999\charrsid13967999  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid11344053\charrsid13967999 
emigrated and is now quite beyond our ability to recall."
\par "'Emigrated?' Is that what you call it these days?" The doctor was not fooled. "In}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid13967999\charrsid13967999  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid11344053\charrsid13967999 
any case, she seems to have anticipated some such reward, and exacted her vengeance}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid13967999\charrsid13967999  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid11344053\charrsid13967999 beforehand." The doctor stood. "
As has no doubt been observed before, on all levels}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid13967999\charrsid13967999  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \insrsid11344053\charrsid13967999 and in many places, I leave you with this:
\par "The sex education in this country is royally buggered." 
\par }}