That Conference by Karen Blayne

Oh by the way red tape first.

Be warned these short stories contain mature content or naughty bits and as such may corrupt you if you’re under 12, 16, 18, 21 or 25 depending where you live thus they are not suitable for you so put them back on the shelf and let them age for a year or two.

They were sort of scribbled for fun. They were first posted on asstr.org. If you’ve paid money for this book just be aware the author has not received any payment. In fact no one has permission to charge money for this book and copyright is retained by the author.

It was that time of year again, Russell’s invite had arrived.  There was no question about attending, it was just avoiding the attentions of the hangers on.  Perhaps he’d take a body guard with him this time.  He mentally reviewed his options and walked down to the coffee room where Audrey one of the very new management trainees was just making a fresh pot.  She was just starting a year’s work experience before her course at whichever University it was she was going to, one of the quieter ones who didn’t put herself forward but had an aura of quiet confidence.  “Audrey can you make yourself free from the 17th to the 31st this month I need to go to one of those conferences in a isolated area and need someone to act as bag man.”  She joked “Oh do I get a percentage then?”  “Well perhaps bag man isn’t quite the word but someone to organise me and to the right places etc.”  “Your personal assistant perhaps?”  “No I need her to keep the office running smoothly whilst I’m away and besides two weeks travel doesn’t work too well for people with families.  I take it you’re unattached?”  “Well.”  “Since you’ll have to be available 24/7 I’ll arrange for you to be paid for the extra hours and a week’s vacation to make up for the time.”  She looked at him “Sounds like bribery to me.”  “I could ask someone else if it’s not convenient.”  “No I’ll come.  My flat mates can look after my cat for two weeks.  What sort of clothing will I need?”  He looked at her blankly.  “I’ll speak to Natasha and she’ll sort out the details.”

“Oh that conference, I only went once before I was married but you’ll need every bit of self confidence good clothing can provide.  You know of course it’s a sort of poor man’s Davos.  Well I say poor I’m speaking relatively, say 250 million dollars net worth minimum and of course that sort of money attracts all sorts of people.  Russell will be wanting protection from the call girls more than anything else but pushy sales girls will be a problem as well and as for some of the bitches who call themselves executive assistants well the least said the better.  We’ll go across to Holt Renfrew this afternoon and see what they have, though really they’re a bit down market.”  “What Holt Renfrew?”  “There’ll be quite a few exclusive designer dresses for a start.”  “Do I really want to go?”  “Well on the positive side there are some very good speakers who can give you insights into how businesses function.”

They were looking through the racks at Holt Renfrew when Audrey asked “How many dresses do I need?”  “Different ones for every evening plus something not quite so dressy for the day time and half a dozen bikinis, the tinier the better.”  “Claire made my prom dress, I sort of felt comfortable in it perhaps she could make me one or two?”  “Claire?”  “Raven’s elder sister, she took some designer courses but now she’s reduced to making costumes for children’s parties.”

“I’d love to do it but I’d need more than a week to turn out that number of dresses.”  Natasha looked thoughtful “If we fly you out to the hotel and booked a room for the two weeks could you manage then?”  “You’re crazy?”  “No but I think we could just squeeze it in within the budget.  Make up one or two now then check out the opposition and throw something together when you’re there.  I’ll throw in a week extra in the hotel so you can have a break afterwards.”  “What happens if my machine breaks down?”  “I’ll buy you a spare and have them delivered to the hotel.”  “But how would we explain her to Russell?”  “She’s your personal hair dresser.  Besides if she travels economy he won’t even notice her.  Just leave it all in my capable hands.”

Clair flew in two days before the conference began to get settled in and to scout out the opposition as she put it.  Russell and Audrey flew in the day before.   Audrey commented on the deeply slashed neck lines and skirts that some female passengers were wearing or not as the case maybe.  “Ladies of the night come to ply their trade at the conference.”  “It must cost them a fortune to fly there.”  “But at $3-4,000 a night they think it’s worth their while.”  “So that’s why you mentioned body guard.”

The island was impoverished but this was hidden from the hotel guests.  It did mean the luxury hotel could afford to have lots of staff available since wages were low.  At the hotel reception they booked in without a problem but further along the counter a gentleman was having problems.  The hotel had his reservation but it was for next month not this month and they were sorry but the entire hotel was fully booked for the two weeks.  Whilst Russell walked over to the elevator Audrey asked for a second key for her room which she then slipped into the gentlemen’s hand.  “You can sleep in my room and I’ll sleep on the floor.”  She turned and slipped away to catch up with Russell.  “What was all that about?”  “Oh I recognised his name from the Bloomberg’s top 100 list, two of the ladies of the night as you put it were looking through it in the ladies’ room.  I can always sleep in with Clair.”  “Clair?”  “My personal hair dresser, Natasha mentioned the hair salon is always crowded at these affairs so she suggested I should bring my own personal one with me.”

There was a pre-conference presentation on the importance of customer data and what it could do for you.  Apparently geeks weren’t good at ambiguity which made it challenging to extract the most data from it.  They were having an animated discussion about what exactly geeks were good for over tea and cakes with Clair when Audrey’s “young” man as Clair had named him arrived looking harried.  “Is the room OK?”  “Perfectly it’s all the persistent hangers on that are the problem.  The ones that seem to be silca enhanced probably from sitting on the beach all day.”  Audrey glanced round the room and was surprised to see that with the exception of Clair and herself practically all the females were enhanced.

“It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a mistress. However little known the feelings or views of such a man may be on his first entering a neighbourhood, this truth is so well fixed in the minds of the surrounding families, that he is considered as the rightful property of someone or other of their daughters.”  misquoted Audrey with a grin.  “Especially one under fifty in Bloomberg’s top 100.”  added Clair mischievously.  “Obviously you only have to settle on one then the others will try elsewhere.”  “Which one do you fancy for your $3,000 per night?”   She glanced around to see if she could suggest someone but froze when she noticed two girls working on one male.  One had her back to the room but there was no mistaking what the bobbing motion of her blonde head in his lap meant.  “Or even which two?”  he added as he saw where she was looking.  “They look a bit old to me, I wonder how that blue dress stays on?” said Claire taking a professional interest in the dresses, needless to say it pooled to the ground moments later.  “I don’t think it was meant to, definitely a bit blatant.”  “I think I’d prefer someone not so blatant, I prefer a bit of mystery with a knowledge of Jane Austin perhaps.”  He threw the words out so casually that Audrey took a moment to digest them before reacting. 

“Don’t even think about it.  I’ve absolutely no experience and I have my life planned out thank you very much, University next year and my career after that.  Besides I hate make up applied with a trowel.”  Russell was grinning now, “Well this is one job that no experience actually pays more and let’s face it you’d get seven years in before you’re too old so at shall we say a million a year that would pay you more than a life time’s career and you could always be a mature student afterwards.”  Added Clair, both men were openly grinning now. “and what was the name of the secretary who married her boss, the one who is now worth twenty billion dollars, something to do with BMW?”  Threw in Russell mischievously.

“I could probably teach you more about being a manager than any University course.”  “But how do I know I can trust you to keep me seven years and pay me the right amount?”  “He can write me a cheque for the seven million and I’ll hold it in trust for you.”  “But we might not even be compatible.”  “So a two week trial here at the conference for a million dollars, that way you’d have enough money to do your studies without a loan and you can decide at the end of the conference.” Declared Clair.  “I don’t believe this.  What about Russell needing a body guard?”  “I should think Clair could manage that nicely if we find her a dress or two.”  Audrey leaned across and kissed her “young” man on the lips.  “All right I agree.” Thinking to call their bluff, however a cheque for eight million dollars was passed across the table to Russell.  “Oh God and I did say I agreed didn’t I?”  She closed her eyes for a moment in panic then moved her chair round closer to her new boss and placed her hand on his arm.  “I thought you were joking but for that amount of money I’d better see if I can please you but you’ll need to explain exactly what I’m supposed to do.”

Russell nodded across the table, “I’ll expect an early shipment on the C14bs by the way.”  Then he turned to Clair “Do I need to spring for some dresses for you?”  “Oh dear how do I put this, I’m not only here to do Audrey’s hair but I have a pair of sewing machines and lots of material in my room.  Running up a few more dresses won’t be a problem.”

When Clair returned to her room the maid was just finishing up.  “My sister is a seamstress if you need any help.”  As the hotel staff were asked if anyone could adjust a hem etc so knowledge of Clair’s expertise gradually leaked out.  By the second week she had three seamstress’s working shifts to keep up with the demands for her designs, juggling these with escorting Russell for dinner in the evenings.  Her made to measure mini micro bikinis were especially in high demand. 

They left the two sewing machines on the island.  Russell had sat down with both Clair and the seamstresses and together they had come up with a business plan.  Russell would supply the web site, Clair the designs and the Islanders the labour for the creations.  Clair was staying on to show them how to use the special laser fabric cutting machine that Russell was persuaded to buy.  She’d send them the computer files so the cutter would cut out the patterns with the minimum of waste.

Natasha came in carrying the mail.  “White Slave Conference time again.”  “White Slave?”  “Oh that’s its nick name amongst the staff.  They’re running a sweep stake on who you take and whether they return.  I mean first it was Audrey, then last year it was Jessica, the new office junior, whatever happened to her by the way?”  “Once she heard how much the girls were earning per night she brought out her clubbing outfits, the ones that barely cover anything and look as if they are about to fall off if she so much as breathes.  She used to hand over her earnings to me for safe keeping and all the other girls thought I was her pimp which was good protection for me.  She took a job as an over paid receptionist to some seventy year old guy who thought she’d brighten up his office with her ultra short skirts.”  She turned and threw over her shoulder “You could take a young man with you this time?” before scurrying out back to her domain.

He walked down to the coffee room to refill his mug.  He noticed a scurry of females exiting as he entered.  This was definitely embarrassing.  He was mulling over what he should do as he returned to his office to find Audrey there.  “I thought you were banished for seven years?”  “He married me and had a heart attack on our wedding night.  Very embarrassing, anyway he might not have been Mr. BMW but it did leave it all to me together with an invitation to the conference. So when the environmental group put out the fake press release and your stock dived I brought up 51% so you work for me now and guess what, I need you as a body guard for the conference.  You’ve no idea how many times I’ve been hit on, the only female under thirty in Bloomberg’s top 100.”  He glanced up and noticed Natasha grinning from the doorway.