The Morning After Pill by Karen Blayne

Oh by the way red tape first.

Be warned these short stories contain mature content or naughty bits and as such may corrupt you if you’re under 12, 16, 18, 21 or 25 depending where you live thus they are not suitable for you so put them back on the shelf and let them age for a year or two.

They were sort of scribbled for fun. They were first posted on asstr.org. If you’ve paid money for this book just be aware the author has not received any payment. In fact no one has permission to charge money for this book and copyright is retained by the author. All copies must be of the complete document. Asstr.org accepts donations if you’re feeling rich or even if you’re not.

Luv Karen

Shelby was stunned for only a few seconds as she felt her boobs being groped from behind then she stamped her heel down hard on the groper’s instep. “Ow what do you want to do a thing like that for?” “I could do you a nice line in sexual assault with a witness.” Offered Vanessa as she arrived at the photocopier carrying a pile of legal papers. “No let him go this time, but try it again and I’ll file charges for both attempts.” Andrew took himself off.

“You shouldn’t have let him get away with it.” “He’s Brad’s cousin and the only family he has left and I don’t want to upset Brad. Mind you I hate to think what would happen if Brad got hit by a bus. “You mean he’d inherit?” Shelby nodded. “Well I can draw up a will that would put everything in a trust for two years if he died, it would give you chance to find another job.” “And business is quiet for you at the moment, OK draw it up but put Andrew’s name in the will so Brad will sign it.” “Just put it in his signature book when you and I are in the room then we can witness it. He won’t even notice the trust, I’ll bury it in the legalise, we can use proviso for illegitimate off spring and perhaps common law spouses that should delay and complicate matters nicely. Did you know that lawyers used to be paid by the word which is why legal documents have so many words in them?”

Vanessa drew up the will and in the fullness of time it was signed and filed away. Brad found a new project than looked like it could be a real money spinner and in his single-minded way focussed purely on it to the exclusion of everything else. Shelby wasn’t sure what to do with him. The project deadline was in a month, she could handle the day to day things and protect him from distractions but with her new daughter working the long hours was too difficult. She talked to Vanessa about the problem, when she arrived with fresh coffee beans, how could she make sure he ate and looked after himself. Vanessa was a lawyer who was just starting so she supplied the coffee beans and in return used their photocopier. “Couldn’t you find an intern and tell them their job was to look after Brad for the next month?” “Twenty four hours a day seven days a week? No one is that stupid.” “Dangle a couple of management training courses at month’s end and keep them for a year you’d be surprised what the poor things will do.” “It seems immoral to me.” “So lawyers sometimes give immoral advice if it’s in the clients’ interests.”

She was still pondering when the door opened and a young tall slim girl wearing no make up stepped in. “Sorry I’m late but my flight got cancelled, they’re still trying to trace my luggage but I have my letter here.” She pulled out a letter saying three month intern and report to room 2320. Shelby scanned it, “Your paperwork has gone astray as well, but never mind have you got a CV with you?” She quickly scanned the CV. “Have you got somewhere to stay organised yet?” “I had some leads but they’re in my checked in luggage.” “Well never mind I’m sure we can work something out. Sign here, here and here.” “This says twelve paid months not three?” “I’ll never manage to arrange all the computer and management courses in three months, especially as you’ll have a special project for the first month. Come and meet him.” Lisa looked a bit surprised but followed Shelby into Brad’s office. “Lisa is our new intern, and she’ll be working with you.” Brad glanced up and nodded and Shelby nudged Lisa out of his office. “Right first things first we’d better go shopping for some clothes for you. I’ll just get Vanessa to look after the phones.”

“So what’s the project? And I have to find somewhere to live.” “Try this skirt on for size. The project is just keeping Brad healthy for the next month 24 hours a day seven days a week.” “But that’s insane.” “We’ll pay you overtime after the first thirty five hours a week at time and a half plus you stay at Brad’s house, he has a spare room, so no rent to pay and you’re allowed to sleep on the job.” Lisa did a few mental sums, “Well it would pay off my student loan I suppose.” “I think this blouse would go well with your colouring.” Shelby swooped round adding to the pile on the counter top. “I think we have enough to choose from.” “It’s the office credit card we’ll take the lot, oh that looks like the ideal evening gown, just your colour, try it on.” Lisa was herded towards the changing room by Shelby and a shop assistant who’d overheard the magic words office credit card. “I’m not comfortable with the neckline.” it certainly showed a lot more than she was comfortable with showing in public. The assistant popped out for a moment and came back carrying a halter dress with a neck line that plunged to the waist. “You’re right this one would look so much better.” Lisa tried it on and was in shock at the sight of it in the mirror. Shelby waved the credit card “It’s time we got back.” And the assistant gathered everything up and placed it in three carrier bags. Well pleased with her commission. Especially pleased as the plunge neckline had been one of the shops’s rather more daring problem dresses lots of people looking but none buying.

By the end of the week the airline had finally located and delivered her baggage. Shelby mentioned she could keep the clothes as she was sure Lisa’s were more suited to being a student than working in an office besides the office could hardly take them back and the paperwork to satisfy the auditors was far too complex to allow Lisa to pay for any of them so Lisa simply accepted them. She was settled into a routine of doing Brad’s washing, vacuuming, correcting his spelling and grammar and letting him use her as a sounding board for his ideas. As an experiment she’d tried wondering round his house in just a shirt but no reaction he seemed totally wrapped up in his project, obviously asexual. Oh well it made for a less complicated life. It didn’t seem to matter what she put in front of him he just ate with a distracted air as if his mind was somewhere else. Still at least the kitchen had an upright freezer so she could batch cook rather than have to prepare everything from scratch each night and she was sure it was better for him than the local pizza delivery. There were times when there wasn’t anything she could really do in the office and from time to time she’d slip down to Vanessa’s office and do a spot of photocopying or other routine things if Vanessa was busy.

It was in her third week and she’d been gossiping to Vanessa in her office when one of the junior office staff Lisa had noticed in the elevator from time to time knocked on the door and asked if Vanessa handled divorces. “Certainly I can and the grounds for divorce?” “The fink has been screwing his office staff. Oh there was prenuptial since it was my money that says he only gets $100,000 if he screws around but I’d like to deny him even that if I can.” Lisa stepped towards the door obviously this was client confidentiality “Any proof?” The office junior pulled out a USB stick and placed it in Vanessa’s lap top. “This might help. I recorded him being blown and screwing myself, his secretary multiple times plus the temp who worked for him for the morning.” Vanessa grinned, “Oh definitely sexual assault then that should mop up his $100,000 nicely. $30,000 for his secretary, $30,000 for you and if you can find the temp for me $30,000 for her as well do you think? Now since the money is all yours the first thing is to send a bailiff in to seize the company’s assets.” Lisa motioned to the girl did she fancy a coffee then? She nodded and the two of them left.

“God he sounds an awful guy to work for.” “The original god’s gift to women. Funny really I sort of stumbled into the job.” Lisa looked questioningly at her. “Well I’d just come from the pox clinic saying I’d tested positive and I was only dropping off a package as a favour to Ryan, who’s a courier I know, before going to do a bit of lap dancing but when I got there this guy was in a state. Some intern or other hadn’t turned up. Apparently he used to hire them from out of town so they had no support network then use them as his own personal mistress. Well his normal secretary had gone on vacation and he hadn’t had any for a week so I gave him a blow job and offered to work for him. I pushed him a bit on the pay.” “But I thought you said you were infected?” “Don’t ask don’t tell, besides he might have been anyway. On Friday morning Breanna popped in to see me to see if I was going down the lap dancing place so I thought we’ve give him a thrill after all Breanna tested positive at the pox clinic an all so she was temp for the morning and he had the two of us together. A week later his secretary came back from vacation so he was screwing both of us then I got paid which meant I could afford my prescription but when I went back to the clinic to pick it up they said it was important not to get reinfected and that any one at risk should be checked so I gave them his secretary’s name. She looked a bit puzzled when they called, well they don’t announce they’re the pox clinic they’re more discreet, but when she came back she was livid. She went ballistic at him and picked up the phone and called his wife who as you can see is suing him for divorce.” Lisa had a thought “Which office was it?” “2320, sort of the same digits as yours 2023 but arranged differently. Actually if his wife is taking over the company I probably still have a job.” Lisa agreed with her and changed the subject.

“Shelby there never was an intern job before I turned up was there?” “True but I thought you’d do better with us than upstairs. Besides Brad needed a keeper and you’re doing very well.”

Lisa carried on running round after Brad, checking his spelling and grammar until finally one afternoon after a final check he passed an envelope to Shelby to have couriered off. “Well that’s it all finished, fancy a meal out tonight?” Lisa thought about the large casserole she’d prepared the previous night and left simmering in the oven that morning thinking they’d eat some then freeze the rest. “I’ve a casserole cooking in the oven, if we ate at home we could have a glass or two of wine without worrying about driving home.” He nodded. Lisa dug out the best china plates she’d seen sitting in a cupboard and made the table as attractive as she could whilst Brad relaxed soaking in the bath. Then she looked through her wardrobe and debated what to wear. There wasn’t a lot of choice really it was the scooped neck silk dress or jeans and just for once she felt like a dress and really it was her colour. She wondered if he’d notice, he hadn’t noticed anything else she’d worn so she felt comfortable, it wasn’t is if it was in public or anything, it was just Brad. She searched through her underwear looking for something to give her confidence. The dress just won’t work with any of her bras. Oh well bra less tonight.

The following morning as she woke up next to Brad she just knew she shouldn’t have had that second glass of wine. “Hello.” Came the comment from the other side of the bed. “Hello.” She tentatively replied then she remembered what had happened last night. “Oh god we didn’t did we?” He nodded. “I distinctly remember something about bath towels on the bed and you putting them to soak afterwards.” She darted from the room bright red with embarrassment.

He smiled at her reassuringly on the drive into work. All she could think of was what must he think of me. Still once at work she grabbed the mail and left it on his desk and went to hide in Vanessa’s office to listen to Vanessa bring her up to date on the gossip.

Shelby came rushing to the office, “Brad’s collapsed do you know any CPR?” “Sorry.” Lisa picked the phone and dialled 911. Within five minutes a paramedic was with them checking Brad for life signs. “It looks like he has had a major heart attack.” “Is he dead?” “You need a doctor to pronounce him dead but unofficially it seems likely.” the second paramedic said as he moved the trolley along side Brad. “But why I thought you had to be doing vigorous exercise to have a heart attack.” “It can be brought on by stress or a reaction after something stressful.” “But the letter said the company had won a major contract.” “Sometimes they just keep themselves going by adrenaline and will power alone then once the pressure is off you get a stress reaction and a heart attack. Stress can be caused by both good things happening as well as bad.” Minutes later they heard the sirens recede into the distance.

“Well I suppose I’d better let Andrew know.” “Any suggestions on where I can find somewhere to live? And where can I find a pharmacy that stocks the morning after pill?” Vanessa and Shelby looked at each other. Vanessa guided Lisa to a chair. “You’ve been living at Brad’s haven’t you?” “Is the morning after pill anything to do with Brad?” “Yes last night I had a glass or two too much wine.” “Well living together in the same house and having martial relations sounds like cohabitating or common law wife to me and a baby with the right DNA would be perfect.” Vanessa turned to Lisa “Now don’t you worry about a thing, I drew up Brad’s will and I think you with or without the baby will inherit everything and let’s face it at least it keeps Andrew from inheriting.”