The Twins by Karen Blayne

The red tape first.

Copyrighted Karen Blayne.   All copies must be of the complete document.   

Be warned these short stories contain mature content or naughty bits and as such may corrupt you if you’re under 12, 16, 18, 21 or 25 depending where you live thus they are not suitable for you so put them back on the shelf and let them age for a year or two.

They were sort of scribbled for fun.    They were first posted on asstr.org.    If you’ve paid money for this book just be aware the author has not received any payment.    ASSTR may do anything with it.

Luv Karen

Joe was loading up the trolley up with frozen dinners when he became aware of the twins.  “Hi Mr. Goburg.”  He nodded an acknowledgement he liked the twins.  Jessica picked up one of the frozen dinners.  “Where do you keep all this stuff?”  “In my freezer.”  Two sets of eyes turned on him, “So if we cooked you a batch of frozen dinners you’d have room to store them?”  “Why would we cook him a batch of....  Oh great idea.”  The second twin started to put the frozen dinners back into the cabinet.  “We’re broke and there’s like no summer jobs this year.”  “And in September we start college.”  “So we figure if we cook you fifty dinners and you pay us the same as the supermarket charges you get better food and we get money.”  Joe blinked, it seemed like only yesterday they were being pulled past the house on a sledge by mom.  The twins took over his trolley and piled it high with meat, spuds, carrots, onions and empty plastic containers.

His motherly check out person looked approvingly at his purchases, “Raw food?” she asked questioningly.  He muttered something and escaped thankful she hadn’t taken exception to what he’d brought.  Before now she’d been through his purchases and told him off for buying too many tomatoes out of season.

That evening he’d sat down to one of the meals the twins had prepared, a thousand times better quality than the store stuff, and thought about the other fifty plastic containers in the freezer.  “Well?” came a voice from the kitchen.  “Not bad.” He admitted.  “Does that mean he wants me to bake him a fruit cake or he doesn’t deserve one?”  A fruit cake, it had been years since he’d had one of those.  “Not bad is in yes he’d like a fruit cake.”  He replied.  One of the twins came in from the kitchen.  “How do you manage to eat that stuff from the supermarket?”  “I compensate with two meals a week at a good down town restaurant.”  He could almost hear their cogs turning.  “How much do you budget?”  “Just for two meals?  Tomorrow night we’ll cook you something special.”

“We could cut your grass for you.”  He thought for a moment, “Well it’s in the budget but I haven’t called up the landscaping firm for a contract for the summer.  I won’t pay a penny above their price.”  He named it and the girls quickly agreed with awe in their voices.

A week later when they’d finished tidying up the garden they put their head round the door.  “We could run the vacuum cleaner round for you?”  Joe paid them the amount the maid service had quoted and gave them the list of what the maid service had recommended.  He’d really meant to get them in but somehow had forgotten.

Friday night the girls had joined him for a meal that was unmistakably good.   The sort of dishes you didn’t get in a restaurant because of the length of time it took to cook.   He was feeling a good mood this evening but a bit nervous he felt there was something in the air.  The twins were wearing dresses for a start and heels and there was something about their ankles but he couldn’t quite put his finger on it.

They moved to the family room and he took his big arm chair.  Jessica bent forward over the coffee table to pour out the coffee.  Seams?  Stocking tops?  Melissa sat opposite him and crossed her legs.  “Did I mention we saw you whilst out shopping last week?”  “I don’t think so.”  Jessica turned and sat down in his lap.  “So how much is in the lap dancing budget?”