Jais Nereis Reviews
#18 - Mom and Dad’s Little Sex Toy: I’m 11 Years
Mom and Dad’s Little Sex Toy: I’m 11 Years
Chandra
Description: Our family fun started when I was 10 years old and ended when I was 13, when my mom caught me and my dad on the living room couch with my skirt up, my panties down, my knees pulled back and his face buried in my cunt. He had broken the no touching rule. This is the second in a series of true stories about my childhood.
Codes: MF Mf FF ff Ff cons lolita bi het true inc mother fath dau mastrb pett exhib voy
Review:
When the 12yo girl next door ran off with an 11yo bottle of vodka, I decided I’d better help with the search, since we were neighbors and all. Being somewhat agoraphobic and confined to a wheelbarrow after a six verb pile up in an Anne Rice story, I decided to start with the internet and that’s how I came across this little gem in the “Young Miss True Story” department at Sears Online.
As the synopsis warns us, this is the second story in a series; I was in too much of a hurry to look for the first one, however, and so I may be jumping unfairly into the middle, but that’s life. I’ll confess that I’m not entirely convinced the story is completely true, but if it is, I suppose that would explain much and one can only wonder why Lauren Rose is posting free stories here with the daytime talk show circuit providing lucrative income to persons with much less interesting stories to tell.
And yes, I found the story quite engaging. While reading the first person account as written by an 11-year-old victim of sexual abuse didn’t immediately lend itself well to suspension of belief (I’ve seen how 11-year-olds write!) I was quickly able to set aside my doubts and focus on the story at hand.
It’s a good one in classic porn tradition. The author has genuine talent for narration, the words flow nicely into readable sentences, offering a nice balance of detail, opinion, and the sort of general information required to move the story along. It isn't as easy to do that as it sounds, believe me. I found the writing wonderfully orchestrated and highly “readable” which sometimes seems an extremely elusive quality for amateur erotica. The pacing is near perfect for my taste and I’m usually complaining about things going too fast or slow, but not today. Not here.
So far as other technical issues, I will say that the story could use another proof to spot and fix some annoying grammar mistakes which repeat throughout. As I recently mentioned elsewhere, writing is habitual exercise. Authors tend to develop habits early and for better or worse they tend to reinforce themselves through use. The bad grammar habits in this story aren’t terrible and shouldn’t distract too much, but they are present and the author could improve there.
As to the story itself, the plot and characters, I have to admit that trying to read the story as “true” didn’t work for me. I found it much more interesting, much more believable, strange as it sounds, when I read it as a piece of fiction. Some readers will doubtless be drawn to the idea of a real child being sexually abused and growing up seemingly healthy and happy and eager to share the experience. (I won't comment on that.) I’m more into erotic fiction and once I retreated into that “safe place” in my psyche, I was able to better enjoy and appreciate the well expressed eroticism that is present in the writing.
The plot itself isn't especially new or unique, although the author was able to breathe some fresh air into a stale room. It wasn't a page-turner, put it that way. It's porn and the only real plot is to see how warm the reader can get and I'm not really the target audience, having little interest in little girls or their home schooling. So the plot was kind of N/A for me, but...
I found the idea of “not touching” to be a fun and interesting touchstone for the narrating character as a theme running throughout. It sets up the plot, which is a marginal one in literary terms, but for online porn it works fine. The characters demonstrate virtually no personality or depth beyond that required to move the pre-teen heroine’s sexual adventure along. I think the author did a good job of teasing the audience and I found myself eager at times for some real sex, real physical contact with the little girl, but the story holds to its premise and we’re ultimately rewarded by that. It’s a fun and easy read.
So, the bottom line here is that I was pleasantly surprised to discover the author and this story. I read it with jaded expectations and found myself enjoying it, but one is left to wonder what it might be like to get something a little deeper, a story with more substance from Lauren Rose in the future. She seems to have the talent for better and bigger things, but we're all here for our own reasons and I'm sure she has hers. We'll see what the future holds.
Oh! We never did find the vodka, unfortunately, but the girl turned up in the produce department at Safeway, singing "Poker Face" and dancing with tangerines stuffed in her training bra and a cucumber in her panties. That's a true story, except for the part about the wheelbarrow.
Jais Nereis
Technical: 8 Plot: 7 Appeal: 8 Stroke: 9
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