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{\*\bkmkend _Toc143236559}
\par }\pard\plain \ql \li0\ri0\widctlpar\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\adjustright\rin0\lin0\itap0\pararsid611161 \f37\fs24\cf9\lang2057\langfe1033\cgrid\langnp2057\langfenp1033 {\insrsid611161 
\par Stan woke up, rolled onto his back, and stared at the ceiling. It was a defensive reflex; looking at the empty pillow next to him would bring tears to his eyes.
\par 
\par It was his 42}{\super\insrsid611161 nd}{\insrsid611161  birthday, and he was alone\'85 again\'85 still.
\par 
\par The ceiling didn\rquote t really speak to him, yet he could still hear his wife\rquote s lilting voice: \lquote }{\cs16\i\insrsid611161 Time to get up, Stan. You have to go to work.\rquote 
\par }{\insrsid611161 
\par Caron. He still loved her. He still thought of her, every day, many times a day. The deep depression that he felt was his only protection from his memories of her.
\par 
\par The car had swerved to avoid a young girl, who was running across the road to her mother without looking, and it had caught Caron a glancing blow. It wouldn\rquote t have been too serious, but when Caron fell she\rquote d struck her head on the r
aised ironwork of a manhole cover.
\par 
\par And that was that.
\par 
\par Stan had been visited at work. When the policewoman said, \'93Please sit down, Mr. Hinch, I\rquote m afraid I\rquote ve got some bad news,\'94 he already knew that Caron was dead. It was the compassion in her eyes, the s
adness in the set of her face, the whole attitude of the young policewoman\rquote s body that told him.
\par 
\par He didn\rquote t break down immediately. Somehow he made the arrangements, got to the funeral, he was even able to get to the part where he was supposed to speak\'85 and couldn\rquote t. He couldn\rquote t see anyone through the tears; he couldn\rquote 
t speak through the boulder lodged in his throat. Someone \endash  he still didn\rquote t know who, probably Bob, his boss \endash  got him down from the dais. Someone else, Elizabeth he thought, had comforted him.
\par 
\par Tomorrow it would be six months. Just as he\rquote d managed to survive yesterday, in a bubble where no one could touch him, and where he didn\rquote t make any real contact with anyone else, he still had to get through today.
\par 
\par Elizabeth, his assistant, would look with compassion in her eyes at him from across the desks they shared, and he would, once again, refuse to engage her beyond superficialities. Bob, his manager, would inquire about some task he\rquote 
d been assigned, and Stan would respond with the minimum effort required. Stan expected there\rquote d be the usual brushfires that always came up, but he couldn\rquote t make himself }{\cs16\i\insrsid611161 care}{\insrsid611161  about anything any more.

\par 
\par He knew, intellectually, that this was bad; he knew he should try to break out of this. But he was afraid, afraid of the hurt coming back to overwhelm him. He\rquote d spent just one night staring at the bottle of a variety of pills he\rquote 
d collected from various stores. He got rid of the bottle the next morning, vowing not to bring the temptation back.
\par }\pard\plain \s15\ql \li0\ri0\widctlpar\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\adjustright\rin0\lin0\itap0\pararsid611161 \f37\fs24\cf9\lang2057\langfe1033\cgrid\langnp2057\langfenp1033 {\insrsid611161 
\par }\pard\plain \ql \li0\ri0\widctlpar\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\adjustright\rin0\lin0\itap0\pararsid611161 \f37\fs24\cf9\lang2057\langfe1033\cgrid\langnp2057\langfenp1033 {\insrsid611161 The apathy he\rquote d developed had
 become his armour; his ability to function was only viable because he refused to let life reach out to touch him any more.
\par 
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\par He arrived at The Firm, where he\rquote d worked for the last 20 years, a little before eight thirty as usual. He murmured \'93Hi!\'94 to Elaine, the receptionist, and went to his desk. The familiar and comforting rituals continued as he said \'93
Good Morning\'94 to Elizabeth, sitting opposite him, and turned on his PC as he sat down.
\par 
\par Elizabeth watched him, maternally. At 62, she was eligible to retire, but didn\rquote t want to just yet. She\rquote d told Stan, \'93I need to get more into my pension \endash  a couple more years or so should do it.\'94
 The Firm was happy for her to continue, so she did.
\par 
\par She thought of Stan as her surrogate son; she had been his friend for the last 15 years since she\rquote d joined him at The Firm. As time passed by she\rquote d become his confidante, as he\rquote d become hers, and they\rquote 
d told each other things they hadn\rquote t shared with anyone else. Her husband had died over a quarter of a century
 ago, so she knew what Stan was going through. But she also knew that his continued withdrawal was harmful to him. Besides, she missed her friend.
\par 
\par Stan was, of course, oblivious to this. He was pretty well blind to anything not work-related, in fact.
\par 
\par Elizabeth, however, was nothing if not persistent. If }{\cs16\i\insrsid611161 she}{\insrsid611161  couldn\rquote t get through to him, someone else might be able to \endash  and she had a good idea who might be willing to try.
\par 
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\par Denise Bottomley went into the canteen to get her lunch with the rest of the IT crew. Contrary to most people\rquote s expectations of \lquote computer\rquote 
 people, Denise was pretty social; she enjoyed a chat with the various staff from Manufacturing, Sales & Marketing, and Engineering. In fact, Denise was able to move from department t
o department within The Firm and get along with everyone around her equally well. This was an asset to her in her job, where she seemed to spend a }{\cs16\i\insrsid611161 lot}{\insrsid611161  of her time solving her colleagues \lquote computer problems
\rquote  \endash  which were more often than not simple user errors, or what she called \lquote Finger Faults\rquote .
\par 
\par Denise was collecting her salad when she felt a tap on her shoulder. She turned her head and was a little surprised to see Elizabeth, who normally took an earlier lunch.
\par 
\par \'93Do you think we could get a table outside today, Denise?\'94 Elizabeth asked her friend, \'93I need to talk to you.\'94
\par 
\par \'93Sure,\'94 Denise replied, \'93what\rquote s on your mind?\'94
\par 
\par Elizabeth didn\rquote t reply directly. Instead she just made small talk, picked up a tray, collected her salad, paid and walked to the exit, holding the door for Denise.
\par 
\par They sat together on one of the benches in the late spring sunshine.
\par 
\par \'93What\rquote s on your mind?\'94 Denise asked again.
\par 
\par \'93Stan!\'94 Elizabeth replied, picking at her food. \'93He\rquote s still not talking to anyone, not really }{\cs16\i\insrsid611161 talking}{\insrsid611161 . Ever since his wife died, Stan\rquote s been upset. I\rquote ve been patient, because I }{
\cs16\i\insrsid611161 know}{\insrsid611161  how he feels \endash  I lost my husband, too \endash  and I worry about him.\'94
\par 
\par \'93Yes,\'94 Denise said. \'93I know what you mean.\'94
\par 
\par \'93It\rquote s starting to affect his work, you know,\'94 said Elizabeth. \'93He\rquote s been coasting, not getting into new projects in the way he should. I know that Bob\rquote s noticed. We need to get him going again.\'94
\par 
\par \'93We?\'94
\par 
\par \'93Yes, }{\cs16\i\insrsid611161 We!}{\insrsid611161 \'94 Elizabeth said firmly. \'93I know you like him, I\rquote ve seen you looking. Stan\rquote s not a bad looking guy, and I }{\cs16\i\insrsid611161 know}{\insrsid611161  you\rquote ve noticed.\'94

\par 
\par \'93What?\'94 she said, a little defensively.
\par 
\par \'93Don\rquote t play the innocent, you don\rquote t fool me for one minute,\'94 Elizabeth maintained with just a hint of frustration. She continued, more softly, \'93I\rquote ve watched you. I watch everyone, I enjoy people watching anyway,
 and Stan is my friend. We\rquote ve known each other longer than you\rquote ve been with The Firm.\'94
\par 
\par \'93Well\'85\'94
\par 
\par \'93Before Caron died you and he used to flirt a lot \endash  I know, I know, innocent fun at work only, but }{\cs16\i\insrsid611161 I}{\insrsid611161  could tell you enjoyed it.\'94
\par 
\par \'93Mmmmm\'85\'94
\par 
\par \'93And so did }{\cs16\i\insrsid611161 he}{\insrsid611161 , actually!\'94 Elizabeth continued.
\par 
\par \'93He did, didn\rquote t he?\'94 Denise replied. \'93But Stan\rquote s been very, well, }{\cs16\i\insrsid611161 difficult}{\insrsid611161  since then though. I haven\rquote t known what to say to him, it\rquote s as if I wasn\rquote t really }{
\cs16\i\insrsid611161 there}{\insrsid611161  when I try to speak to him.\'94
\par 
\par Denise paused. She didn\rquote t want to upset Elizabeth, but\'85
\par 
\par \'93I\rquote m not even sure I even }{\cs16\i\insrsid611161 like}{\insrsid611161  Stan at the moment. I know his wife\rquote s death hit him hard, but he\rquote s bordered on being }{\cs16\i\insrsid611161 rude }{\insrsid611161 
sometimes. Oh, never discourteous, but when you try to strike up a conversation and get minimal answers all the time, you eventually get the idea that you\rquote re not wanted. You know?\'94
\par 
\par Elizabeth considered her for a moment. At 32, Denise was 10 years Stan\rquote s junior. Striking red hair which came to a point in the middle of her back, and soft grey eyes set in a rounded 
face with a slightly pointed chin, framed her serious expression. 
\par 
\par But Elizabeth had seen his appreciative smile often enough. She }{\cs16\i\insrsid611161 knew}{\insrsid611161  Stan\rquote s taste in women, and good-looking redheads came near the top of his list.
\par 
\par Denise was, at that moment, also intently thoughtful. She focussed well beyond Elizabeth, gazing at infinity. Stan }{\cs16\i\insrsid611161 was }{\insrsid611161 reasonable looking,}{\cs16\i\insrsid611161  }{\insrsid611161 she }{\cs16\i\insrsid611161 had}{
\insrsid611161  enjoyed a good flirt with him at work, knowing that he was \lquote safe\rquote  \endash  \'93Safely and }{\cs16\i\insrsid611161 very}{\insrsid611161  married!\'94 Elizabeth had said to her once, - but he\rquote d become so
 distant that she didn\rquote t think she really knew him at all any more.
\par 
\par Besides, Denise had just finished a relationship herself. It had ended amicably, they were still friends, but there was still that feeling of not wanting to upset her former lover by jumping at someone else straight away. Although\'85
\par 
\par \'93Denise, he\rquote s still the same Stan inside, you know,\'94 Elizabeth said eventually, cutting in to Denise\rquote s reverie. \'93Losing a loved one like that is one heck of a shock. It took me a long time to get over the loss 
of my husband George, and I\rquote d been anticipating it for the whole year, ever since his diagnosis.\'94
\par 
\par Denise looked at her questioningly. \'93Cancer,\'94 Elizabeth said, softly.
\par 
\par \'93Oh, I\rquote m sorry!\'93 Denise got out, before Elizabeth interrupted with \'93It\rquote s OK. I got over it. I found that people would let me grieve, but that I needed to }{\cs16\i\insrsid611161 be}{\insrsid611161 
 with them, to get on with life. That\rquote s what Stan needs to grasp, and he\rquote s just not doing it. I\rquote ve even suggested he get professional help, but he dismissed }{\cs16\i\insrsid611161 that}{\insrsid611161  idea instantly.\'94
\par 
\par \'93What do you think }{\cs16\i\insrsid611161 I}{\insrsid611161  could do to help?\'94 Denise asked.
\par 
\par \'93I\rquote ve got an idea,\'94 said Elizabeth.
\par 
\par }\pard\plain \s17\qc \li0\ri0\sb100\sa100\sbauto1\saauto1\widctlpar\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\adjustright\rin0\lin0\itap0\pararsid611161 \f37\fs24\cf9\lang2057\langfe1033\cgrid\langnp2057\langfenp1033 {\insrsid611161 - - - - - - - - - -
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\par Denise thought about what Elizabeth had told her, as she went back to her workstation.
\par 
\par She didn\rquote t think of herself as particularly beautiful, but was honest enough with herself to know that she wasn\rquote t ugly either. At 5\rquote 7\'94
 barefoot and just about exactly 140 pounds, she thought of herself as perpetually needing to lose weight. But she knew that her 36C bust was quite adequate and she was proud of her l
ong hair. Long, thick and wavy, she came by her red locks naturally but she was always upset that she had the freckles that proved it.
\par 
\par She dressed as she always did, \lquote blouse & trousers\rquote  as she called it, although today they were figure-hugging jeans with 
a very professional white blouse. Her hair was gathered into a ponytail with a matching white scrunchy. A pair of comfortable but slightly elevated shoes completed the ensemble. She smirked to herself, as she thought that she was not exactly a Mae West va
mp. Oh well\'85
\par 
\par \'93Make an excuse and talk to him,\'94 Elizabeth had said. \'93Tomorrow will be six months to the day since his wife died. }{\cs16\i\insrsid611161 Insist}{\insrsid611161 
 that you want to go for a drink with him tonight. Do it while the office is full. Stan doesn\rquote t like scenes, so he\rquote ll }{\cs16\i\insrsid611161 have}{\insrsid611161  to agree to prevent one \endash 
 and his sense of honour will force him to follow through. Don\rquote t expect much of a date, though. I expect it\rquote ll be one-sided conversation, a quick drink, and time for home.
\par 
\par \'93Don\rquote t worry about what to talk about,\'94 Elizabeth continued. \'93I don\rquote t expect Stan will notice. Just chatter for a bit, talk about his clothes, the weather, football, whatever. Baby steps, Denise. Yes, it\rquote 
ll be frustrating, but you need to take the short steps now to allow for bigger ones later.
\par 
\par \'93If you get more than half an hour out of him, I\rquote ll be surprised. But that\rquote ll be a victory.
\par 
\par \'93I worry about him a lot, Denise, I do. I\rquote ve known him a long time, he\rquote s practically a son to me \endash  my son and daughter laughingly ask after \lquote their brother\rquote  \endash  and I can\rquote t approach 
him myself. You can. You can start him living again; teach him that life goes on, that he can\rquote t continue to \lquote just exist\rquote . Please try, Denise?\'94 Elizabeth was very earnest. This meant a lot to her.
\par 
\par \lquote What about me?\rquote  Denise thought to herself. \lquote Do }{\cs16\i\insrsid611161 I}{\insrsid611161  want to try this?\rquote  She was quiet for a moment. She used to like Stan a lot. Caron\rquote 
s death seemed to have changed him, but Elizabeth had been very persuasive\'85 and Denise did like his looks, at least a \lquote little bit\rquote .
\par 
\par She decided to go for it.
\par 
\par \'93OK, Elizabeth, I\lquote ll give it a try,\'94 she told the older woman.
\par 
\par }\pard\plain \s17\qc \li0\ri0\sb100\sa100\sbauto1\saauto1\widctlpar\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\adjustright\rin0\lin0\itap0\pararsid611161 \f37\fs24\cf9\lang2057\langfe1033\cgrid\langnp2057\langfenp1033 {\insrsid611161 - - - - - - - - - -
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\par \'93Stan?\'94
\par 
\par \'93Uhhmmm?\'94
\par 
\par \'93Stan, I want to go for a drink tonight\'85 With you!\'94 Denise couldn\rquote t believe she\rquote d just said that, and in front of so many people! The office was full; there must have been a score of listeners. She didn\rquote t }{
\cs16\i\insrsid611161 dare}{\insrsid611161  look at Elizabeth.
\par 
\par \'93Um. I don\rquote t think\'85\'94
\par 
\par \'93Yes. You\rquote re going to come down to the }{\cs16\i\insrsid611161 Mitre}{\insrsid611161  with me, tonight; we\rquote ll have a drink and a chat. You can tell me some off-colour jokes and we\rquote ll have some fun together. When was the
 last time you enjoyed yourself?\'94 Shit. She hadn\rquote t meant to say that.
\par 
\par For the first time the office crowd could remember in a }{\cs16\i\insrsid611161 long}{\insrsid611161  time, Stan\rquote s reply sounded a little irritated, \'93About six months ago, what do you }{\cs16\i\insrsid611161 think?}{\insrsid611161 \'94
\par 
\par \'93Yes, sorry. But }{\cs16\i\insrsid611161 I\rquote ve}{\insrsid611161  not had a night out in ages either. So }{\cs16\i\insrsid611161 you}{\insrsid611161  can take }{\cs16\i\insrsid611161 me}{\insrsid611161 
 out, tonight. You can pick me up at eight. You remember where I live?\'94
\par 
\par \'93Er, no, Denise, I don\rquote t\'85\'94
\par 
\par Softly, she interrupted, \'93Yes you do, Stan, you used to give me a ride in to work every morning.\'94
\par 
\par \'93No, I meant I don\rquote t think\'85\'94
\par 
\par \'93Often the case, Stan. But I\rquote ll be ready at eight, and you\rquote ll be }{\cs16\i\insrsid611161 there}{\insrsid611161 , ready to drive us, won\rquote t you!\'94 she again interrupted. This time }{\cs16\i\insrsid611161 her}{\insrsid611161 
 voice had an unshakeable edge to it.
\par 
\par Stan looked at her, really }{\cs16\i\insrsid611161 looked}{\insrsid611161  at her for the first time in ages. Denise actually met a lot of his \lquote criteria\rquote  he realized. Smart, witty, pretty. That long red hair was simply }{
\cs16\i\insrsid611161 fantastic}{\insrsid611161 . She dressed reasonably at her work, but those jeans certainly showcased her ass. Most of all, Stan recognized that he }{\cs16\i\insrsid611161 did }{\insrsid611161 like h
er. His inner voice told him that he really }{\cs16\i\insrsid611161 ought}{\insrsid611161  to agree, never mind what anyone else thought\'85 he }{\cs16\i\insrsid611161 needed}{\insrsid611161  this.
\par 
\par \'93OK! I\rquote ll take you for an evening out. But there\rquote re things I need to get done tonight, so it\rquote ll just be for a quick drink.\'94
\par 
\par She bent down and gave him a peck on the cheek. Both of them noticed something then\'85 but both denied it to themselves.
\par 
\par When Elizabeth left work, her customary 30 minutes before the others, her concession to retirement, Stan noticed that she was positively }{\cs16\i\insrsid611161 beaming.}{\insrsid611161  \'93Enjoy yourself tonight, Stan,\'94 she said, softly. \'93
Denise is lovely. She thinks a lot of you too, you know.\'94 Then she swept off.
\par 
\par \lquote Too}{\cs16\i\insrsid611161 ,}{\insrsid611161 \rquote  Stan pondered. \lquote Too? Well, I think a lot of Elizabeth, don\rquote t I?\rquote  He shook his head and got on with his work.
\par 
\par Everyone in the office wished him a good evening as he left. Absentmindedly, he thanked them. There were some frowns, but in fact for the first time in a long time Stan\rquote s thoughts weren\rquote 
t of his dark-haired Celtic goddess, but of a red head with a lovely smile, and\'85 freckles.
\par 
\par }\pard\plain \s17\qc \li0\ri0\sb100\sa100\sbauto1\saauto1\widctlpar\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\adjustright\rin0\lin0\itap0\pararsid611161 \f37\fs24\cf9\lang2057\langfe1033\cgrid\langnp2057\langfenp1033 {\insrsid611161 - - - - - - - - - -
\par }\pard\plain \ql \li0\ri0\widctlpar\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\adjustright\rin0\lin0\itap0\pararsid611161 \f37\fs24\cf9\lang2057\langfe1033\cgrid\langnp2057\langfenp1033 {\insrsid611161 
\par Denise looked at the clock, again. She felt silly, actually giddy at the thought of her date, \lquote A date?\rquote  and consciously tried to calm herself down.
\par 
\par She showered and washed her hair, then spent a long time drying and brushing it. Makeup applied, she looked at herself critically in the mirror. \lquote Oh well, I pass muster, I guess,\rquote 
 she told herself, and went to her wardrobe to fetch her dress.
\par 
\par Denise very seldom wore anything other than her usual uniform, her \lquote blouse & trousers.\rquote  Elizabeth had suggested that she wear something \'93more }{\cs16\i\insrsid611161 feminine}{\insrsid611161 ,\'94
 but Denise was somewhat stuck for choice here. She picked out a dress and realized that it had been over two years since she\rquote d worn it. She clucked her tongue and slipped it on.
\par 
\par Well, she tried to anyway. Denise always thought she ought to lose a few pounds, and putting this dress on \endash  a white, handkerchief design with spaghetti straps and a low bustline \endash  just made her wish she\rquote 
d already done so. She always felt wearing a dress overemphasised her tummy and the roll at her waistline. In exasperation she took the dress off and reverted to type: this time a deep red blouse and white trousers.
\par 
\par \'93Good enough!\'94 she said to herself.
\par 
\par Again, she looked at the clock. Ten minutes to eight. He\rquote d be here any minute. What was she }{\cs16\i\insrsid611161 doing}{\insrsid611161 ? \'93You\rquote re out of your mind, girl,\'94 she told her reflection. \'93Well, I\rquote 
m only doing this for Elizabeth!\'94 she replied.
\par 
\par }\pard\plain \s17\qc \li0\ri0\sb100\sa100\sbauto1\saauto1\widctlpar\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\adjustright\rin0\lin0\itap0\pararsid611161 \f37\fs24\cf9\lang2057\langfe1033\cgrid\langnp2057\langfenp1033 {\insrsid611161 - - - - - - - - - -
\par }\pard\plain \ql \li0\ri0\widctlpar\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\adjustright\rin0\lin0\itap0\pararsid611161 \f37\fs24\cf9\lang2057\langfe1033\cgrid\langnp2057\langfenp1033 {\insrsid611161 
\par Stan, meanwhile, arrived home, turned on the CD player, and fell into his chair. He zoned o
ut for a while, not really thinking of anything, not even really listening to the music, just letting time pass. He shifted, ill at ease no matter how he was sitting, and looked at the clock.
\par 
\par He pondered just not going, but knew that this would be \lquote standing her up\rquote , and he really didn\rquote t think that was fair. Of course, he could always ring Denise and cancel\'85 but he couldn\rquote t do that, either, he\rquote 
d never got Denise\rquote s number. How did he feel? \lquote Confused\rquote , he wryly decided.
\par 
\par More time passed and with a start he accepted that he\rquote d have to get ready and go. Something like the shirt and trousers he\rquote d worn to work would be good enough for the bar, he thought. Just time for a quick shower, then it\rquote 
ll be time to go\'85
\par 
\par When he got in his car and glanced at the clock, he noticed he\rquote d be on time after all, so he drove the two miles to Denise\rquote s house without undue haste. He parked, got out and walked up the path.
\par 
\par Denise\rquote s house \endash  really a smallish cottage \endash  had a nicely kept if very small garden in the front. Her StreetKa 2-
seater convertible was parked in the drive, and Stan stopped to admire the little red sports car. Then he rang the bell, and waited for a moment, fidgeting. \lquote God, I feel like a schoolboy again,\rquote 
 he thought, then realized how untrue it was as he\rquote d never dated at all while at school. \lquote Going to an all-boys Grammar school may have been a good general education, but it certainly restricted my education with girls,\rquote  he mused.

\par 
\par He was brought back to the real universe when the door opened.
\par 
\par \'93Hi, Stan!\'94 Denise said, stepping through the door. She turned to lock it, then noticed that he\rquote d not replied. She glanced over to see Stan already halfway down the path heading towards his car. Shrugging, she hurried after him.
\par 
\par Stan clicked his remote, unlocking the doors, and without thought walked straight around to the driver\rquote s side. He stopped, observing that Denise was still standing there. \'93It\rquote s open,\'94
 he said. He opened his door and got in, while Denise shook her head and did the same.
\par 
\par It was a ten-minute drive to the bar, just too far to walk. During the drive Denise chattered away, but Stan was only listening with his \lquote spouse ear\rquote  \endash  the one that all husbands develop, that allows \'93Yes dear\'94
 answers at appropriate points without actually paying attention.
\par 
\par \'93Don\rquote t you think, Stan?\'94 finally penetrated his brain.
\par 
\par 'What had she been talking about?' thought Stan, scrunching his forehead. A replay of the last sentence proved just beyond his grasp. \'93I\rquote m sorry, Denise, I didn\rquote t quite catch that,\'94 he said.
\par 
\par \'93You haven\rquote t been listening, have you?\'94 she said, with a little of \lquote That Tone\rquote  in her voice. Stan glanced over. Denise arched an eyebrow, and then grinned at him. \'93Raoul used to do that.\'94
\par 
\par \'93Raoul?\'94
\par 
\par \'93My ex,\'94 Denise answered.
\par 
\par \'93Oh.\'94
\par 
\par \'93I }{\cs16\i\insrsid611161 said}{\insrsid611161 ,\'94 she continued, \'93Don\rquote t you think the blossoms look nice?\'94
\par 
\par \'93Er, yeah.\'94
\par 
\par \'93What sort of blossoms are they, anyway?\'94
\par 
\par A memory triggered, \'93Cherry Pink and Apple Blossom White,\'94 Stan answered, almost dreamily.
\par 
\par \'93Huh?\'94 It was Denise\rquote s turn to be confused.
\par 
\par Stan snapped back to the present. \'93Old song. Forget it. We\rquote re here,\'94 he said, pulling into the car park.
\par 
\par Denise sat in the car as he got out, waiting. Stan, remembering his manners this time, went around and opened the door, and Denise got out, giving him a peck on the cheek. \'93See, you }{\cs16\i\insrsid611161 were}{\insrsid611161  brought up properly,\'94
 she teased. Stan flushed, and muttered, \'93Yeah\'85\'94
\par 
\par They walked into the bar. As it was only just after eight, it wasn\rquote t too busy. Denise }{\cs16\i\insrsid611161 was}{\insrsid611161  surprised not to find half of The Firm there, but only Elaine looked back at her over her drink fr
om the other side of the bar. She grinned at Denise, and resumed her conversation with her friend. Stan failed to notice the answering grin on the face of Denise.
\par 
\par Denise kept up a constant, if rather one-sided, conversation while they were served with their drinks, Gin & Tonic for her, mineral water for him \'93because I\rquote m driving,\'94
 as he always felt he had to say. Stan never quite felt right being in a bar drinking soft drinks, but he\rquote d become used to it \endash  no one else was driving him anywhere.
\par 
\par \'93Cherry Pink and what?\'94 Denise said. It made it\rquote s way through Stan\rquote s ears, into his brain, and finally into his consciousness
\par .
\par \'93Pardon me?\'94
\par 
\par \'93You said something about \lquote Cherry Pink\rquote  and something, I wondered what you meant.\'94
\par 
\par \'93Not important,\'94 he said, a little stiffly.
\par 
\par She laid a hand on his arm, \'93Please?\'94
\par 
\par \'93Oh well. \lquote Cherry Pink and Apple Blossom White.\rquote  It\rquote s a tune; I can\rquote t remember who played it, but my father loved it, and I remember hearing it a lot when I was young. Whenever my attention is drawn to either the pi
nk cherry blossom or the white of the apple, I always seem to think of it \endash  can\rquote t help it.\'94
\par 
\par \'93Tell me more about your parents?\'94
\par 
\par So, they passed time, the drinks came and went, and another round was ordered. Denise felt like she was getting somewhere with Stan, he was more }{\cs16\i\insrsid611161 alive}{\insrsid611161  than he\rquote d been for ages \endash 
 well, for the last six months, at least. However, one of those natural lulls in conversation came and Stan looked at his watch.
\par 
\par \'93You have another date?\'94 Denise attempted. Stan looked at her, drained his glass, and rather pointedly looked at hers. She sighed, and tried again.
\par 
\par \'93What\rquote s at home that you need to get there so soon?\'94
\par 
\par \'93There\rquote s a program I always watch.\'94 While a true statement, it had already started ten minutes ago, and Stan  really wasn\rquote t that interested. He just felt suddenly uncomfortable. \'93Look, I think we should go home now,\'94 he said.

\par 
\par He\rquote d closed up again, Denise saw. Well, Elizabeth had said \lquote Baby Steps\rquote .  \'93Okay then, Stan, give me a moment and you can take me home.\'94
\par 
\par In the car, Denise tried once more to begin a conversation, but now it really was battering against a solid wall and she felt that she should stop. So they arrived at her house in deafening silence.
\par 
\par Stan got out, opened the passenger door, and saw her to her front door like a gentleman, but his eyes were anywhere but on Denise. She stood on her doorstep for a moment, turned, and stopped him for a moment, her hand on his shoulder.
\par 
\par \'93Stan, have I done something wrong?\'94 she asked with concern.
\par 
\par \'93No, Denise,\'94 he sighed, \'93nothing wrong. I just thought of Caron, that\rquote s all.\'94
\par 
\par \'93Oh.\'94 
\par 
\par There was not much more to be said, really, she thought. Certainly nothing }{\cs16\i\insrsid611161 she}{\insrsid611161  could think of.
\par 
\par \'93Well, goodnight, Stan. Thank you for taking me out tonight.\'94
\par 
\par She bent and went to kiss him on the cheek, but he evaded and only accepted an air kiss.
\par 
\par He muttered something and walked back to his car, deep within himself. Denise waited \lquote til he\rquote d got to his car, waved and closed the door. She collected her thoughts. She just }{\cs16\i\insrsid611161 knew}{\insrsid611161  there\rquote d be a 
\lquote debrief\rquote  from Elizabeth in the morning.
\par 
\par Stan drove away on autopilot, seeing only dark eyes in a pale, porcelain-pure face. 
\par 
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\par }}