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* A Story Outline for Jake *
* (part 4) *
* (Correspondence between Luke and myself) *
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| Copyright 2005 by Vince Water March 18, 2006 |
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PLEASE NOTE that the 'Singing' text posted on my Yahoo! Group
didn't include some story clips I'd written about Jake for
parts 15/16 NtTL that only Luke was given to read. I will be
posting this updated 'Singing' text on my Group July 21st.
For now, bear with what Luke and I are saying concerning the
story clips 'B' and 'C' that are about Jake.
7/17/05 Luke wrote:
I laughed at the story clip B. That is so typically
adolescent to be speeding around in a car. Also I laughed at
one or other of them calling each other "chicken". I do think
it is "cheating" for Jessie to borrow Mike's skill and drive
so well! Adolescents are always saying "that's not fair" and I
think that Jake would be correct to say that in this case.
Story clip C is the skinny dipping sequence. That's very sexy
although I hope that you will have the time to greatly expand
this experience. I like how they swim together and then get
into talking about the Indian game. However, I didn't like the
way Mike and Jessie just kind of backed into the shadows as
Jake pulls out his cock and starts to beat off. I think that
Mike and Jessie both should play with their own hard cocks.
They don't have to cum but to just hug each other and watch
Jake beat off until he cums seems odd. They are both guys who
have had sex with other guys and aren't that shy about their
bodies. And what about them touching each other's cocks?
That's what the game involved, didn't it?
Maybe after Jake asks them "do you two fuck?" they could ask
him the same question. I wish they could maybe do something
with their butts - like talk about being amazed that a cock
can get inside there while fingering their own holes..... or
something like that.
But I like it and look forward to reading it in its full
blown version.
I realize that these are raw first drafts that need to be
fleshed out but you've done a good job with them. Again, I
look forward to being able to read them when they're finished.
About Part 1 of "A Story Outline for Jake", I am amazed that I
wrote all that. I did come across the eye color issue. I said
that Jake's eyes were a light brown which looked green under
certain conditions. It is you who made those "certain
conditions" using his power to Glean. That's a great addition
but I think it's your addition, not mine. Also I said that
Jake was 5'10" at 16. Somehow I've thought of Mike as about 6
feet tall. How tall is he? And how tall is Jessie. Of course,
if Mike is 5'8" or shorter, then he is "short" and Jake would
look tall to him. These are VERY minor things and I don't
really care whether you make Jake taller or shorter than was
in my original outline. You description of him in Part 14 is
very true to how I described him. And in Clip C, you have kept
my description of him of being very proud of his muscular body
and of being well hung and uncut.
7/19/05 Vince wrote:
I'm glad you liked story clip B where Jake, Mike and Jessie
drive the pickup truck wildly. I wanted for them to have some
adolescent 'fun' while demonstrating an aspect of M&J's
Connection to each other to Jake. Yup - Jes cheated!
In story clip C, Mike does handle his cock though Jessie is
too shy to in front of his cousin. He doesn't touch his
'thing' even when alone and he represents 4% of boys who don't
masturbate. I wanted Jake to think, 'Ah, hah! That's why
Jessie 'needs' Mike to get off since he can't himself'. Again,
this story clip was written very late at night, is a first
rough draft and I'll keep your points in mind when expanding
and editing this clip when it appears in a NtTL story part.
The reason why M&J didn't ask Jake if he fucks too is that
they didn't want to press this teen about gay matters yet.
They know he's gay but DON'T know he's prostituted himself.
I'm saving that shocker for later. Per your outline, Jake has
separated the act of sex from love. Jake doesn't accept that
he's really 'gay' but just fooling around with the other boys
at school and having sex for pay with men. He'll observe M&J's
loving relationship and make that connection to how he feels
for Dr. Karl as being the same thing. That will get him to
accept that he's gay too, and that it's okay (after he returns
to Havre. Too much is already planned for Winna's visit in
Rosebud and Jake can't absorb that much 'wisdom' by the guys
in so short a time).
I know how much you want Jake's asshole to be seen by M&J and
to show them theirs. Please be patient, Luke! I don't want to
overload that skinny dipping scene. Trust in sexual/gay
matters needs to build between these three first. Okay?
Here's another thought I have about Jake. A change to my view
of him.
When you read expanded story clip 'C', Jake says that he's not
gay to M&J during their 'tell the truth' game. I've told Tryme
on my Group and had thought so myself that Jake just wasn't
accepting that he could be gay, only fooled around with boys
at his school when he was 'younger and stupid'. Now, I'm
thinking that Jake knows he's gay but won't admit that to M&J
because doing so could lead them to suspect that he's
prostituted himself to men. Jake fears being 'Gleaned' and
having all his dirty little secrets known. Mike's already
explained that they're both 'shielded' from that happening.
What do you think, Luke? I really need your professional view
about this young man of yours.
Per your outline, Jake is in fact functionally gay. He likes
having sex with men from a pleasure standpoint, to relieve his
lust, and from his need for a loving father figure in his life
(if even for a brief time when he's with his johns, especially
enjoying those moments with Dr. Karl when they are together as
'father and son' eating out at restaurants, going to a movie
and the sex of course). This latter point we've agreed is not
consciously realized by Jake - wanting a loving father. He
only knows that having sex with men (who are more mature and
older than him) is more pleasurable than fooling around with
the boys at his school which stopped at age 13/14 when he
began prostituting himself.
Back to Jake knowing he's gay. Perhaps he's not 100% sure or
hope he isn't gay or doesn't want to be gay. Which is it?
There are two 'sides' to this young man that M&J have noticed.
That 'charming' actor wearing a mask which Jake plays all too
well with people like his johns, and that vulnerable honest
kid M&J briefly see. Please give me your analysis of this
young man and what YOU think Jake is about concerning his
sexuality. THANKS!
Mike is shorter than Jake by being 5' 8" to the teen's 5' 10".
I built on your 'green' eye color for Jake that's seen by
others when the teen is in a certain mood. I'm good at
building around a 'seed' of information using my creativity.
I won't be posting Jake's outline with the Nifty Archive until
a few more NtTL story parts about Jake are written. That way,
readers can be surprised by things such as the teen's
prostitution that hasn't been revealed in the story yet. One
Group member (Tryme) was confused when part 14 had Jake not
accepting he's gay and in love with Dr. Karl that didn't jive
with the Jake outline saying he was. Again, having advance
knowledge about Jake's character in the outline but not
reading it yet in the NtTL story can be confusing and I told
Tryme so. You'll read this exchange between Tryme and myself
in Jake's updated outline part 3.
I will begin writing part 15 NtTL when part 2 'Honeymoon' is
completed early this week. Expanding/editing those story clips
about Jake will be done first and sent you; not posted with my
Group since they're too revealing right now. Be patient! I'm
tackling two series at the same time. Many story parts are
expected to comprise the H series that will be posted with
Nifty only when NtTL story 'time' catches up to it. I'm
getting my 'feel' for Jake, and from your comments/suggestions
to what I've written of story clips in the 'Singing' text
helps clarify and set my path correctly to write part 15 NtTL
properly where Jake is concerned. He is your character and I
want you to be happy! That's why I lost a night of sleep to
write those story clips for you to get your feedback, which
thus motivates me to actually begin part 15 NtTL. My fingers
are really flying now with the new H series (which you might
view as a 'threat' to me writing more about Jake) which serves
as my reward when cranking out the next NtTL story part. After
part 15 NtTL is written, I'll return to write parts 3 & 4 to H.
P.S. I've fleshed out those story clips B&C some more this
Monday evening. It occurs to me that M&J and Jake have their
'outing' on Thursday instead of Friday which is going to be
the day Winna goes to court to gain Guardianship of Jake. He's
given them a tour of his school that Thursday morning after
breakfast with Fr. McMillan. Winna remains behind to get the
paperwork done with the school's social worker though Jake
hasn't been told. They're just rushing to get things prepared
in case the boy is partial to returning to Havre with them.
Saturday isn't a 'court' business day so it has to be done
Friday. What happens Thursday between the guys sets up the
next day where Jake agrees. He probably won't realize that
Winna will be taking him from school on Sunday! Saturday he
finds out, and takes tests to pass from the tenth grade.
Those story clips B&C won't be further enhanced in the
'Singing' text beyond what I've worked on this evening. I've
written enough now until a NtTL story part 'catches up' in
time where this raw text will be inserted and there enhanced
and edited. The purpose of writing story clips is to quickly
jot down a future event while it's fresh in mind so I won't
forget it. Things could change in the main NtTL story that
could make a story clip obsolete and not fit in. I'll try not
to let that happen for B&C! It's too much wasted effort for me
not to use them!
Take care, my friend. I value your input, your inspiration and
you do motivate me into writing good stuff! I hope you'll be
pleased with Jake in the NtTL series. Be honest. Let me know
if something doesn't seem right and unlike Mike, I can control
my anger if we clash on something. That's only human.
7/19/05 Vince wrote:
NOW I can begin writing part 15 NtTL. When I have a good
amount written, It'll be sent you for comment; not editing.
I want to get Jake 'right' by passing text past you. When this
story part is written, I'll reward myself with returning to
the H series for a few parts. It's really taken hold of me and
my readers! I've already received some nice feedback on my
Yahoo! Group through message postings, and privately.
What did you think about that revised story clip 'C' in the
Singing text sent you Tuesday morning? I really need your view
about Jake's denial/fear of admitting to M&J that he's gay.
I look forward to your next letter in answer to my questions
about Jake.
4/20/05 Khasidi, who is a member of my Yahoo! Group: NtTLStoriesAndSketches
posted a lengthy note that, in part, gave his views of Jake. His
subject line read: 'NtTL - Speculation on what comes next...' I
won't repeat the entirety of his note here but relevant points.
Jake has been abused as a child. This hasn't necessarily been
intentional abuse, but nobody cared enough to save him, nobody
actually loved him enough to care for him. Also, he has been
ripped away from his home and those who ought to have loved
and protected him three times (from his grandmother's house,
from his mother, and now from the Rosebud school). He has
coped with this by distancing himself emotionally and this
comes out most strongly in the fact that he has disconnected
(so he thinks) his emotions from his sex life. It is a form of
extreme alienation. Jake is able to love Charlie because, in
that relationship, he is in the position of power. Charlie
can't abandon him because Charlie is too little; therefore he
is safe to love.
But then Jake leaves Charlie! In his heart, he considers this
his greatest sin -- the fact that he has now abandoned Charlie,
something that he swore he would never do. He has committed
the sin against Charlie that was done to him. In fact, it is a
pattern. When Jake starts to care for a person, he has to
abandon that other so that he, Jake, won't get hurt.
In a situation like this, sex would be used as a mechanism to
escape from feeling. After crying with the doctor, Karl, Jake
probably went out and did a few tricks just to prove to himself
that it was all just sex. He had just been feeling moody. Love
had nothing to do with it. This doesn't mean that Jake's sexual
attention isn't fixated on father figures, just that he can't
allow himself to trust anyone in that position for fear of
rejection or abandonment. His whole emotional life is blocked
by that kind of double blind -- what he wants are the same
things that terrify him. On the other hand, he does truly
dangerous things almost compulsively. When Jake gets to
Montana, he is going to have really severe problems with trust.
The more he wants to trust his new family, the more terrified
he will become. After all, when you start to trust someone
they abandon you, right? And abandonment is his greatest fear.
...
I am thinking that He Who Runs Up Mountains (Grandfather) would
want to put him through a coming-of-age ritual in which he would
be forbidden any sexual activity for some period of time. This
would be accompanied by other stress-induced practices such as
fasting, sleep deprivation, (pain?), and maybe even hallucinogens
(mushrooms? peyote?). The idea would be to trigger a crisis in
a controlled situation in which the boy could be protected and
in which he could open his heart to healing transformation.
Hopefully Jake would find his totem and open his heart.
The problem, of course, is that Jake can't trust anybody, so
how can he believe in Grandfather's medicine enough that he
doesn't simply run? In may be that, knowing that Grandfather
is going to die, Jake is able to actually admit to himself
that he loves the old man. It fits a pattern that he
understands: the people I love leave me.
I imagine that Jess-ee-ah is not going to understand this. For
him, sex has been a way out of darkness, a spiritual path; and
that was true for Good-eyes, too. He has no experience of the
inverse situation -- sex as an escape from the light. This is
the first time that Jes has not had the right answer. It will
be a learning experience for him to find that his young wisdom
is not infallible. A difficult lesson on his path to becoming
a Shaman.
{Khasidi goes on to describe how grandfather asks Mike to
attend Jake when he undergoes his coming-of-age ritual that
proves to be a trial by fire for them both.}
At the end of his ordeal, Jake will come to an understanding
of God and death that will allow him to discard his fear of
abandonment. He will understand in his inner feeling (heart)
as well as in his mind that there is no circumstance in which
the Father would abandon him. Thus, he will let go his fear of
loving another person.
...
At some point Grandfather will have to die. I think probably
that will be a final ritual that will really crush Benton. I
also imagine that his death will coincide with the crisis Jake
comes to in his ordeal. Witnessing Grandfather's ascension to
join the Father will be the factor that opens his heart.
7/21/05 Vince wrote in response to Khasidi's posting (only relevant
parts concerning Jake are shown here):
...
Jake won't ever accept Winna as his second mother. It'll be
lucky if the boy considers this woman his aunt with whom he
can trust given his past bad experiences.
Jake's character is the brainchild of my good friend Luke.
You've read the progress we've made in developing and refining
Jake's outline which is still ongoing. An important idea that
you've put forth is what you said in so many words that Jake
cannot allow himself to trust anyone, even to be loved, for
fear of being rejected or abandoned again like he's been for
all his life. Jake has coped by distancing himself emotionally
from most people and it explains why he's disconnected any
possibility of feeling love for someone he's having sex with.
Those ideals have become two and separate things in his mind.
His young friend Charlie was 'safe' to love, as the kid
brother Jake's never had since they're both stuck at that
Jesuit school where neither will leave the other. I agree
with you that when Jake does return with Winna back to
Montana, he will consider abandoning Charlie (left at the
school) as his greatest sin that had been done to him
throughout his own life when, for example, his mother had
left him at the school at age five and didn't keep her
promise to return for him.
Being able to trust is always a difficult thing for persons
who've been hurt by a break in trust. When 'damaged' Jake
feels drawn to someone as a friend, aunt, or lover (such as
Dr. Karl), he expects to be hurt and abandoned again so he'll
try to avoid letting them under his skin. This is the problem
Mike and Jessie encounter and you're right that Jes won't know
how to help his cousin right off.
I am considering Khasidi's idea that Jake be there when
grandfather (the tribe's shaman) dies. They'd be alone
together when it happens. This old man's death is expected in
the 'handful of moons ahead' but it's not known exactly when
it will happen. It would be a peaceful Passing. As
grandfather's spirit takes Flight to the Above, Jake would
See it as the joyful release from flesh that it is and help
complete his own healing.
Jake will be going to school in the Fall. Mike is teaching
computer classes in Chinook during the evenings when Jake
comes home after school. Jessie is off with his grandfather
for training. Jake could come out to grandfather's house on
the weekends to serve as 'helper' in their rituals. He and
this old man will become close. Unlike Jessie (due to his
inexperience), grandfather can effectively help this troubled
youth.
The idea that Mike attends Jake during the boy's Vision Quest
is a good one. It wouldn't last weeks or months but four days.
That's the traditional duration for a fast. This event may
happen soon, and help Jake to reveal his greatest shameful
secret: that he's prostituted himself to men. Mike is the
ideal person to confide in since he's not blood family.
Simon and Jake will likely be having some sexual fun over at
Hawk Flying Over's house in the hot tub. Simon wants HFO to
get 'jealous' since the man has thwarted his attempts to get
it on with him. Jake will be able to have a near same aged
friend who is gay and very sexually liberated like himself.
Boys will be boys, having lots of fun and connect as friends.
The views I've put forth about Jake are my own. Ultimately,
it's up to the character's creator - Luke to approve if this
is indeed what this troubled youth is going through for me to
write about him in the story. NtTL is MY series but Luke looks
over my shoulder concerning Jake. I'll ask Luke to comment on
Khasidi's view presented about Jake.
As to Khasidi's other speculations to what comes up next in
my series... Jake will not learn about that gay cruising area
at Bearpaw. That proved very destructive for Running Water as
a boy which holds true into his life as a man.
...
7/23/05 Luke wrote:
I'm sorry that you clearly got the impression that I thought
that Jake needed to be drunk or high to beat off in front of
Mike and Jessie. I didn't mean that at all. Like a lot of
things, saying things in an abbreviated way just makes it more
confusing. So let me start with that skinny dipping scene.
Think about it. Jake is a sixteen year old adolescent. He
has been with men for money one-on-one. He has not done sex
shows or gotten up in front of other guys and masturbated. He
might have done some circle jerks at school so he has probably
beaten off in front of other guys but like all the other
guys, he has hidden in the anonymity of the group. But even
with his experience with other guys, I think he still would
have been shy about beating off in front of his older cousins
whom he has just met. Not that I think it shouldn't happen
in the story. In fact it's a great idea. But I think it
needs to be a bit more refined. Remember that at sixteen Jake
is "half child/half adult". Mike and Jessie in their twenties
(this is correct, yes?) would be more mature than Jake despite
his sex-for-money experience.
Remember the nudity and sex play with Simon down by the
river? That was really well done and felt to me, at least,
just the way a precocious adolescent might handle this
situation. This skinny dipping sequence feels really good to
me on reading it until it gets to the beating off part.
It's hard for me to tell you how to change things. I'm not
the writer. You are. However, let me look now at that ending
of the skinny dipping scene and react to some of the
specifics, OK?
First off, I like the way the getting naked and getting into
the water was handled. I like the cutting of the farts. I like
the game with the mud. And I REALLY LIKE the truth questions
game. That's really good.
So they're sitting around naked asking each other questions
that each has promised to tell the truth in response to. So
each of them is getting a leisurely and complete view of each
other's bodies including their genitals. The question about
whether Jake wanted to come back to live with them in Montana
was a stunner. I didn't expect it. Is Jessie just asking this
out of the blue or does he know something from Winna about her
intentions?
You know what? As I'm reading this in your text on page 16
of SINGING I realize that you have a written direction to
yourself to the effect that ......"more little stuff happens
here while the three are drying off in the sun......" So you
ARE going to add more. Hopefully whatever else you add will
lead us to the scene where Jake beats off in front of them.
Maybe instead of Jessie turning away in embarrassment because
he has a hard on, they would all be kidding around after the
seriousness of the "truth questions" and Jake could ask
something about Jessie's or Mike's cock - like it's shape or
color or cut/uncut. This might lead to a discussion of
nonhairy Jessie, hairy Mike, and Jake being something in
between. Maybe they can tell Jake that he's not fully grown
yet including the amount of hair on his body and, probably,
the size of his cock and balls among other things. Maybe as
they talking about each other's genitals, all three of them
begin to get hard. Maybe they comment on the size-while-hard
of each other's cocks. Teenagers might do this with a lot of
kidding around. Teenagers would probably get out something to
measure with and check out who is the longest. This is
familiar territory for Jake since he has probably done this
with other boys at the school when they've had a private time
away from the priests, brothers, and prefects.
So all three continue stroking themselves. Mike and Jessie
could do exactly as you describe - not actually cum. Jake,
thinking that all three are going to cum, goes right ahead and
does what you describe. Actually I wonder if Jake is going to
feel left hanging out there to realize that he's the only one
who cums?
Jake's nonchalance is a "put on" because actually he's
feeling very weird inside. Here he is with his cousin and
his male lover whom he has just met. And he cums in front of
them. This is different for him than sex-for-money. This is
family. He probably wonders if they think he's a degenerate
shit for doing this. He will feel this inside but on the
outside will give them that adolescent indifference that
hides - or tries to hide - the uncomfortableness inside.
Anyway, you can tell that I really like this scene as I've
told you before. It brings back memories of things that
happened with me in my own youth skinny dipping in farm ponds
with the Explorer Scouts on camping trips, circle jerks in the
hayloft where we were sleeping overnight, and so forth. So
that's why I focused on this, I guess.
Now let me go to the other questions about Jake that you
asked in your letter.
Regarding whether Jake's sexual orientation, I do think of
him as gay. However, he does not consciously know this about
himself. So when he answers Mike's and Jessie's questions by
saying "I'm not gay...." that's what he thinks although his
unconscious is bubbling up into his conscious mind to realize
that he really enjoys being sexual (not necessarily just
"having sex") with guys than he ever has with girls. However,
he does view his prostitution activities as ways to make money
and not meaning that he is gay. But of course, he is gay!
It is a real area of conflict for him that I hope that Mike
and Jessie can help him sort out. It's what he would do in
psychotherapy - remember my recommendation that he get into
therapy? Things that seem perfectly obvious to an outsider
can be completely unaware to the person himself.
Adolescence is at time when such things are sorted out.
Adolescents do, in fact, experiment around sexually and often
with somebody of the same sex. For most of them (80-90% if
you believe the statistics about sexual orientation) are
really heterosexuals (mostly heterosexual but maybe not
completely) who are just "walking on the wild side". For
those 10-20% of us who are gay, however, it has much deeper
meaning. I'm not sure how Jake would have gotten involved in
prostitution. I'm not sure whether he was propositioned by
some guy in town and got started that way or what. I'm not
even sure what he would have charged. Based on advertisements
in the gay newspaper here he could have charged $150 and up
for an hour of his time. Given his propensity on the Internet,
maybe he would have known what to charge. Maybe he would have
discounted his regulars who were favorites of his.
So, yes, he would have considered his sex-for-money
activities as one of his "dirty little secrets". He certainly
would not have wanted these two guys to know that about him.
Mostly this is because he fears that they would condemn him
or, at the very least, think badly of him. He does not in any
way feel superior to them or look down on them. What they
have said to him when they were drying off and also beside the
fountain has really given him something to think about. He's
probably turning it over in his mind as they get dressed and
drive back to the school. Maybe he can let himself get in
touch with how it might feel for himself to have somebody love
him. Somebody who is male. And, as we have already discussed,
his heart gravitates to somebody older like Dr. Karl.
Many people choose partners or spouses based on their deepest
needs. Jake would be unconsciously longing to be fully loved
and "possessed" by an older man who would function, in part,
as the father he never knew.
So, yes, Jake is in fact functionally gay as you state. In your
letter which begins "Per your outline, Jake...." is exactly
right from my point of view. You have voiced exactly the way I
see Jake.
I don't know where he might have gone to actually connect
with men. Probably the school had several busses that would
take the older kids into town for "outings". High School
boarding schools do this all the time. Maybe they would have
money to go to the movies. Maybe the boys would be encouraged
to meet girls. Maybe some of them had girl friends, probably
Native American ones, in town. So my thought is that Jake
would have gone into town on the bus but instead of hanging
around with the other boys, he would have gone off on his own.
Maybe he would have had to cut his liaisons with guys short in
order to make the last bus home. I doubt that the Jesuits
would have taken kindly to Jake being brought home much later
by a stranger. That would certainly have been against the
rules and would have gotten their antennae up!
However, once Dr. Karl became Jake's Big Brother, if you go
in that direction in your story, he would have been able to
come to get Jake and then bring him back to the school almost
anytime he wanted. Given the prestige that a medical doctor
would be held in, the adults at the school wouldn't have even
thought that any hanky-panky might be going on between Jake
and Dr. Karl. Maybe Jake would take the bus into town, go
over to Dr. Karl's house or office, hang out with him
including dinner, and then come back much later with Dr. Karl.
Also in that area of the country, I imagine that people are
used to driving long distances to get somewhere so even an
hour's bus ride into a larger city would not have been out of
the question. I'm guessing that there would have been a bus
going into town every Saturday right after lunch and coming
back before "lights out". However, I agree with you that you
could "fluff off" this point and just not deal with this
particular detail. Have you decided where Dr. Karl lives and
has his office?
I do think that Jake might have contacted guys on the computer.
Remember that he's a real whiz at this.
Back to Jake knowing that he's gay. From his responses to
the questions after the skinny dip, he seems to think about
being gay just in terms of sex. Mike's and Jessie's comments
to him about their own relationship must be a real education
for him. Most of straight society, after all, thinks of
gayness primarily in terms of sex and not in terms of
"orientation" which includes identification, loving, and so
forth. As he hears these things from M&J and sees how loving
they are with each other but not immediately jumping each
other's bones all the time (making sexual grabs, always trying
to have sex, and so forth) he has probably really started to
do some thinking about himself.
So he does not consciously know that he's gay. It's not
something he has allowed to enter his mind maybe until the
arrival of Mike and Jessie. I do NOT think it's because he
doesn't want to be gay but maybe it is, as you suggest, that
he hopes he's not gay. It certainly must have occurred to him
that his sexual activity with men, albeit for money, would
make most of his friends at school say that he's "a fag".
That's why he keeps it so quiet. Also he's has sex with some
girls.
Yes, Jake does have at least two sides to him. He's the
charming young man whom adults are absolutely taken with. He's
also able, probably, to put on the "little boy" or maybe
"little Indian boy" persona when he's with guys for money.
He's also a fighter able to take care of himself when he needs
to do so. He's also a vulnerable, honest, almost naive kid
which M&J have only seen glimpses of so far.
I do think that maybe Jake's awareness of his own sexual
orientation is going to take a giant step when he says his
good-byes to Dr. Karl. We've already talked about this. Dr.
Karl has already told Jake that he thinks he loves him. Jake
feels something for Dr. Karl and he knows it's powerful and
that he wants to be with this guy more and more as time goes
on. He looks forward to it. He loves to talk with him. He
loves to be held by him. Their sexual activities are different
in quality and intensity from all the other guys Jake has been
with. But so far Jake has kept the implications of this out
of his conscious mind. M&J, in observing him with Dr. Karl,
pick up on the truth of their relationship immediately. Maybe
Dr. Karl looks at M&J with a look (of anguish?, of love?, of
pain?) as he's holding onto the sobbing Jake that indicates to
them that Dr. Karl is aware of what's going on with him and
this teenager. Maybe Dr. Karl has deliberately held back on
talking to Jake about this up to this point because he knows
that Jake isn't ready. Also what he knows he feels and wants
is not only against the law but it means that he would have to
give up the wife he doesn't love and his two kids - if he has
kids. It would certainly be easier for him to not have kids
and, therefore, not break up a family when go comes to Havre
eventually to be with Jake. It could be that either Mike or
Jessie could gently talk with Jake about Dr. Karl as they ride
back from town to the school. Such a talk would have to handled
VERY delicately and carefully or it would freak Jake out.
I've thought that Dr. Karl and Jake would uncover their
feelings for each other through a series of intense e-mails
once Jake gets back to Havre. Maybe Mike can somehow come
upon them and that is how they would get into the story. I've
imagined that Jake would have his intense conversations with
Mike and/or Jessie and then talk via e-mail to Dr. Karl. I
imagine Jake writing to Dr. Karl very late at night. I imagine
Dr. Karl reading Jake's e-mails first thing in the morning at
his office just before he starts his "patient day". E-mails
written at private moments when the writer is "ready" and read
and responded to by the reader when they are "ready" is very,
very powerful. I have heard parents of kids who have gone off
to college talking about just this thing happening. Parents
say that their kids share things with such intensity through
these late night e-mails to them that they would NEVER say
face-to-face. I have always thought that Jake and Dr. Karl
would do this with each other.
As a doctor, Dr. Karl has the money, I guess, to fly or drive
to Havre to see Jake. That would obviously have to occur some
number of times before Dr. Karl actually moves to Havre.
The fact that Jake can really love and be loved by Dr. Karl
can certainly occur without Jake being conscious that he is
gay at least at this point in Jake's development and in the
story. Think of the number of adult men who love a teenage
boy where the teenager has no clue that this is anything more
than friendship. It happens all the time. So your reader's
problem with this doesn't jibe with what happens in real life
- at least in my experience.
So if you have any more specific questions about this issue
of Jake's gayness, please get a letter back to me. I will
answer it as speedily as I can.
You are doing wonderfully with this, Vince. You are developing
Jake just the way I've pictured him. And please bear in mind
that I have deliberately only developed him in my own mind to
a certain point. I know that things are going to happen with
him in the story that are not necessarily my ideas and I'm
prepared for that. I trust you to "take care" of Jake for me.
I really do. So let your fingers fly away. I am REALLY looking
forward to seeing the next few parts and to read how things go
with Jake.
I'm also glad that Jake, for his part, is stirring up
comments from your other readers. That's good, right?
I wanted to comment on some of Khasidi said in his post about
Jake. I liked your response to Khasidi but I wanted to give
you some reaction myself about what he suggested.
Yes, I agree, that Jake has been abused as a child. His life
from the time he left Mexico (age 2 or 3?) until Judy took
him to the school at age 5 was rough to say the least. He was
left to take care of himself and he was exposed to adult
sexuality a lot including to guys having sex with his mother.
This would have left him as he got to the school and grew up
with a lot of technical knowledge of what adult bodies look
like and what people do sexually with another person. But
because he was so young, he just wasn't able to know any of
the feelings that might go along with the sex. That is, sexual
feelings and loving feelings. And, I guess, hateful feelings
because there are certainly people for whom having sex with
somebody is violent and an act of hate. Think of Eli Kie.
So whatever sexual activity Jake got into at school from the
time he got there until he went out and sold himself to adult
men, it would have been just something to do. Something that
felt great in terms of firing nerve endings and, eventually,
the discharge of something out of his cock. This sex without
feeling was what he learned as a young boy. What he may be
learning now with the arrival of M&J&W plus his leaving Dr.
Karl and, more generally, the only home he has ever really
known, is going to stir up powerful feelings in him. And
included in those feelings, of course, are his feelings for
Dr. Karl and his own awareness of longing to love a man.
Khasidi is absolutely correct about Jake abandoning Charlie
and it being a repetition of sorts of what happened when Judy
abandoned him. Remember me suggesting to you that somehow
Charlie come to Havre to join the "family"? You had said it
wasn't going to happen and that when Jake said good-bye to
Charlie, that would be it for Charlie. I guess I had wanted
to avoid that very painful abandonment of Charlie by
eventually bringing him to join them. I imagine that those
kids who have no known to be alive parents could be adopted
by families couldn't they? Actually the kid (like Charlie in
this case) would be placed with a family as a foster child
because, in the absence of proof of parental death or
parent(s) giving up parenting rights, adoption couldn't
occur. So I'm with Khasidi in that regard about Charlie.
I don't think that Jake would go out and turn a few tricks
after crying with Dr. Karl just to distance himself from his
feelings. I understand the dynamic that Khasidi is talking
about but I think that Jake would probably be absolutely
drained and feeling empty. He would be in no mood to be able
to turn on the sexual charm. At least I don't think he would.
Although it is possible that Jake will have "severe problems
with trust" as Khasidi suggests, I don't see it that way.
Although Judy left him at the school never to return, Jake was
loved and cared for by Jesuits and by lay adult volunteers who
really cared for these kids. I see the Rosebud School as
being a place where the kids are well cared for. It's not the
same as having a parent but it's not like being in an
"orphanage" with mean caretakers. So I see Jake as having
gotten a relatively good upbringing at the school. He is
going to have to do a lot of working through with Winna and
the family in terms of why they waited until he is sixteen to
come to see him and take him home with them. It is going to
take Winna and M&J to repeat the reality over and over before
Jake can let it fully sink in.
I don't like the sound of the ritual that Khasidi suggests.
And I hope that you don't put Jake through something like
that. It sounds sadistic and horrible this day and age.
And to finish up this letter, I wanted to say that I read
with great interest your response to Khasidi and the group
that you intended for HFO to evolve into a man who loves boys.
Specifically Simon. That's nice. And the prospect of Jake and
Simon having sex in HFO's hot tub is "hot"!! Go for it. I
hope, though, that this will be something of interest to both
of them, maybe done playfully, and not just Simon trying to
get HFO jealous! Will you have anybody else in with them?
Probably not for this particular sexual encounter although if
Mike is not there to witness it, how will it come into the
story?
Oh yeah - Khasidi's comment on the role of women in your
stories is quite interesting, isn't it? I know you responded
to him about this but I hadn't really thought about that until
he mentioned it. What about Winna's sexuality? Do you intend
for her to have a "gentleman caller" at some point? Does she
masturbate, do you think? Does she go out on dates and get it
on with a guy?
Also, we did talk a lot about Jessie's father. My own wish is
that he is dead and that eventually M&J go wherever he lived
before he died to get a fuller picture of him. I think of him
as a louse who abandoned his wife and his autistic son. What
a creep! I would upset me if somehow the story rehabilitates
him like coming up with some OK rationale as to why he left
them and then refinanced the house without Winna's knowledge
thereby sticking her and eventually Mike with the bill. I
wouldn't mind some fuller understanding of Jessie's father in
terms of his own personality but I do think he's a guy who
went bad and died that way.
Well, I will bring this to a close. You said you will pick
it up on Monday. Again, if you have any other specific
questions about this that you want to ask me, please do so,
OK?
7/23/05 Vince wrote:
You really have given me a lengthy letter this time. Thanks.
I know that you didn't mean Jake would beat off in front of
M&J unless he was stoned or drunk. That was just an example of
yours to explain that's when adolescents might be so bold.
What had confused me was that you read story clip 'C' and
liked it, asking that M&J join him then you said that Jake
wouldn't do that. Perhaps the addition of the 'truth game'
change the context and had you switching positions. I'll wait
until story 'time' comes to that scene and we'll work on it
some more (using the ideas you said in your letter).
I'm really hung up on writing about Jake. I forced myself to
stop writing part 3 H to get part 15 NtTL started as I've
promised you but my 'flying' fingers moved like molasses. In
three days, all I could write was 8 K towards the 110 K story...
I've reviewed the 'Jake Outline' for help.
I want you to be happy with my portrayal of Jake. I need to
keep the boy 'real' to his personality, his motives, story
plot and basically be happy with him myself. You and I have
worked so hard on his background leading up to this, some of
what happens in Havre, his meet with the three but now that
I'm actually there at part 15 NtTL, I can't get my fingers
moving in a comfortable direction.
Let me 'talk out loud' with you as I see these days at Rosebud
unfolding. If I'm going in a totally 'wrong' direction as you
see Jake, I've not written too much to throw away and can change
direction when you respond to this letter with a replacement
idea of your own that works.
First, let me briefly state what you and I have agreed on
concerning Jake at this part 15 NtTL point in time:
* Jake is grieving over learning that his mother was murdered.
At most times, he'll hide his pain from these three 'strangers'
with his actor's mask and at other times, such as Jessie's
first 'meet' with Jake, the boy cries. He does not like
breaking down in front of anyone.
* Jake is angry at Winna for not seeing him before now. He
intellectually understands that she simply didn't know he even
existed but in the boy's heart, he is a bit angry. This woman
also wants to know about her sister that Jake doesn't want to
reveal (Judy turning tricks, into drugs - yucky stuff!). He'll
remain closed mouth about his mom at least until Monday per
what Mike commented about in the 'Singing' text, story clip A.
* Jake doesn't want to be gay. He's separated the physical act
of sex from the loving act. Seeing M&J's loving relationship
is a new idea to him but he's viewing it critically for now.
* Jake will NOT reveal to anyone that's he's been prostituting.
Later, in Havre that will come out likely with Mike.
* Jake has been in a stable, loving place at his school. He will
NOT want to leave that by going back to Havre with Winna.
Something dramatic still needs to take place in part 15 or 16
to change his mind/force him to leave friends (Charlie), Dr.
Karl, his prostitution, and the comfortable place in his life
at the school. (More about this later.)
That 'family' visit for Jake is more a burden to him than a
help (for now). He doesn't know his aunt and fears her
learning about his mother's sad life, and him prostituting. He
is curious about being part of a Blackfoot family but the
school has been his 'family' for 11 years. Why change things?
Jake learns that he has Power. Yet that scares him because
Mike might Glean that he's prostituted himself. At first, he
despised Mike for 'taking advantage' of his autistic cousin.
At the fountain, he knows better now. The idea that two gay
guys can have a loving relationship never really occurred to
Jake and when M&J demonstrates their love in front of him,
he'll realize that his 'friendship' with Dr. Karl might be the
same thing.
In part 15, Jake will continue to take 'pot shots' at Mike as a
defense mechanism to prevent his 'dirty secrets' from being
Gleaned/known to M&J. This will make your character seem
detestable to readers but it sets up a useful, believable
story plot. You've seen how 'put off' Jake is in story clip C.
"I'm not gay," he's told them.
I don't want Jake to be another "Simon" who's easily won over.
The dynamic here is very different as outlined above. Please
bear with me in part 15 with a seemingly unfriendly Jake. He's
only trying to protect himself from M&J, and Winna.
The GOAL is to get Jake going back to Havre with Winna & Jes
on Sunday. Tenth grade final tests on Saturday. Transfer of
Guardianship has to take place Friday. Jake shows them around
his school Thursday morning, going off with M&J that afternoon
as shown in clips B&C while Winna remains at his school to
prepare paperwork with social worker unbeknownst to Jake.
How to accomplish our goal? Let me talk this scenario out with
you and get your go, no go or suggestion of your own.
In part 14, Winna speaks privately with Fr. McMillan while
the 'boys' are in the garden. Readers don't know that Winna
has expressed her desire to take Jake home to Havre. The
Father asks that she get to know her nephew first, take a few
days to do so and keep her plans to herself for now. He wants
Jake to go back with Winna because of an 'off story' event(s)
where he KNOWS that Jake has been prostituting himself! This
came to his attention through someone seeing Jake in town with
a man, an anonymous letter sent him (maybe by Dr. Karl whose
last meet with a crying Jake revealed to him that the boy was
still turning tricks and he needs to let the Father know so he
can stop that whereas he has failed to do so himself), etc. I
don't have to reveal in NtTL just how the Father knows, but
that he does and he was about to confront Jake when news of
his mother's murder delayed that. Here comes Aunt Winna who
WANTS to take the boy home with her! Father McMillan's
prayers are answered on how to get Jake away from his
destructive lifestyle. Yet he doesn't want to pass his
responsibility for the boy off to an unknowing Winna unless
she is sure she wants to take care of Jake and likely the
Father will reveal Jake's prostitution privately to her Friday
morning before court so she can make a final decision.
In the meanwhile, Jake has been a cool strong teen in front of
the three. He can be charming to his aunt, avoid telling her
what she desperately wants to know about Judy. Maybe some tears
with her that may even be real. Jake's outing with M&J for
some fun, observing their loving relationship but being on
guard against them. Especially with Mike.
Fr. McMillan has Winna prepare for transfer of Guardianship
on Thursday afternoon. He's not promising Jake will agree to
it now, perhaps at a later time so their paperwork won't be
for nought. Winna wants to take the boy home Sunday. The
Father warns her to not hold out hope for so soon a change in
the boy's life but it could happen. The question to Jake is
popped Thursday evening at dinner at the school. Of course,
Jake says no. He has another month of school, another two
years until he's eighteen. He likes it at Rosebud. Thanks for
coming to visit with me, Aunt Winna. Have a safe trip home!
M&J and a disappointed Winna return to the motel. Fr. McMillan
has a 'little talk' with Jake in his office that Thursday
evening where (off story - readers won't know content but only
its result Friday morning) he reveals knowing about Jake's
prostitution. The boy denies. Father shows 'proof' and says he
can't trust Jake anymore even when he promises to stop it.
Father says only way is to keep Jake at school all the time -
no leave into town but it's a more serious matter than that.
Jake is too 'sophisticated' to live amongst the other boys.
Sending Jake off to a foster home is the only real solution,
hence going back to Havre with Winna which would be better for
him since she's family and far away from temptation here in
Rosebud. The fear of God is put into Jake at that meeting.
He's angry of course since he feels forced to go with his aunt.
Fr. McMillan tells Jake that he made that decision for having
prostituted himself, it's a destructive lifestyle that the
school will not tolerate and he fears the boy will run away to
live on the streets. Do you want that, Jake? I would never
want that for you! This change in your life will be for the
better, don't you think? You have found family. Go with them.
Friday morning, Winna, M&J are told of Jake's 'change of heart'.
The boy hides his anger behind actor's mask. Perhaps Winna is
told privately by Fr. McMillan that Jake was prostituting
himself so she can back out with Jake going to a foster home.
It's only fair that the woman know. Obviously, Winna isn't
going to allow that but take in her sister's son in spite of
what he's done. Transfer of Guardianship takes place. The rest
follows as outlined above to Sunday.
In Havre, grandfather first meets his grandson Jake at a late
lunch with 'Singing' story clip A. M&J go off on their
honeymoon Tuesday - Friday. Winna confides in her uncle
(grandfather) who begins his relationship with the boy that
week with Jake starting to respond.
What do you think, Luke? This scenario comes right out of
your original outline explaining why Winna was contacted to
take the boy home. I want Jake to pose a real challenge for
M&J who cannot help the boy on their own. Grandfather really
shows that he's a wise man. The story dynamic sets up strain
between Jake and Mike Thursday with Jes cooling his lover down
by reminding him that they're visiting to help the boy deal
with his mother's death. Readers may detest Jake at first. A
few vulnerable moments of Jake's will come out to reveal the
human struggles plaguing this troubled youth by hints of the
problems he faces.
Now to answer things in your letter:
I understand that you have a 'life' unlike myself. Don't
worry about me getting mad/concerned by the pace of our
correspondence. Them readers can wait!
Let's not discuss the 'skinny dipping' scene anymore until it
comes up. I first need to write Jake to that story 'time'
point where your Saturday letter can guide me. I'm glad that
you enjoyed the 'truth' game! Jessie suspects/knew that his
mom wants to take Jake home with them so that's why he
'tested the waters' by asking that of Jake.
NtTL won't explain how Jake met his johns. We can fluff that
off. Winna will likely learn from Fr. McMillan Friday morning
that the boy was prostituting himself and interestingly, M&J
won't be told until returning from their honeymoon! They'll
wonder at Jake's change of heart from Thursday's dinner where
he said 'no' to Winna and then him agreeing to go back to
Havre with her on Friday morning. Readers don't always have to
know why things happen in a story until later, where it comes
out to explain after the fact.
Jake will be intrigued that the gay couple M&J are can be
loving. After 'surrendering' to his fate Friday, knowing that
he's going back to live with Winna, he'll lighten up towards
Mike (I'm going to be living in the same house with him...).
Jessie will tell Jake things about Blackfoot culture, his many
family members wanting to see him, and such that will also
give the boy something to look forward to in his forced
change of life. Jake will think that going to Havre might not
be so bad after all by Saturday. Leaving Charlie will be an
issue he has to deal with. When it comes up in story 'time',
you and I will deal with that.
Dr. Karl will learn that Jake is leaving. Maybe he's the one
who sent that 'anonymous letter' to Father McMillan. He
provides Jake's medical records needed at Friday's court.
Again, what transpires between Jake and him, if Mike is there
to see it, etc. will be dealt with when story 'time' arrives.
I certainly hope NOT that my praise for Khasidi's writing
skill wasn't viewed by the other Members for what he'd
outlined happening to Jake and other NtTL future events! I
meant it was the way he expressed his ideas through a writing
skill I have yet to achieve. Khasidi brought up some good
points. I am NOT going to have Jake go through some painful
rite-of-passage rite. It is a four day fast, being alone in
the wilderness to seek a vision. Mike will be near (but out of
sight) to guard over him those four days. His idea for Jake
being alone with grandfather when he goes Above is good. We'll
see if that actually happens in the 3rd NtLS series.
No too for Jake turning some tricks after meeting with Dr.
Karl. A lot of Khasidi's 'fantasies' for Jake, especially
going out to that Bearpaw hunting ground! just ain't going to
happen. Thanks for assuring me that Jake's so called 'severe
problems with trust' isn't so. You're right. The Rosebud
school has been family to him these 11 years. That's why he
would resist any suggestion of him leaving it.
Later in NtLS, Jake will have some 'play time' with Simon in
HFO's hot tub. Again, the dynamics of that scene will be dealt
with when the scene arrives in story 'time'.
NtLS has paths for my characters going off in all directions.
Jessie undergoes shaman training. Jake at Winna's house, being
with grandfather assisting him with Jes and their own talks
alone, Mike teaching computer classes, HFO spending lots of
'clothed' time with Simon. Winna will try to 'mother' Jake but
the boy don't need a mom. He hasn't had a real mother since
age 5 and even then, Judy just wasn't there for him. Winna
will see to her own needs as a woman. I won't be giving that
lot of story time as this is a GAY story! Just smiles and best
wishes from M&J, Jake to Winna going out on a date, etc.
Oh. I am leaning towards the idea that Jessie's dad is a rat.
Sure would fit the typical Native 'dad'. He did have to leave
town to avoid trouble at his construction company or one of
their clients. He took half money out of their house to live
on. M&J will try to find him. Eventually, they might and bring
back his ashes like in that movie (what was it called?!) I've
told you about in an earlier letter.
Sorry if my letter seems crudely worded. That's the result of
half a bottle of wine in me this evening and my lover is 'waiting'
for me to finish this letter to you. Therefore, I am.
P.S. I'm continuing this letter Sunday evening. Just some quick
questions needing to be answered as they're about to come up
in where I've written to in part 15.
Jake only has one other roommate due to his older age. Younger
boys are in bunk beds, four per room. Is Charlie in Jake's
room? Sure would help explain a lot of things in the Outline.
What does this 'straight' boy have displayed on his walls, on
shelf, etc. while Jake has them 'strong' physic Native American
poster(s) on his wall.
Would the proctor follow Winna, M&J and Jake around the school
while the other boys are in classes or would the Father trust
them to go around unescorted?
Any interesting Jesuit sights in the school, church, etc. that
I can put in the story will help let Readers see this in the
Rosebud School. The magnificence of the church (describe awe
inspiring sights), how halls look like, classrooms, bedrooms,
etc.
Jake will being doing his utmost to distract the three with
showing them around the school to avoid difficult questions
directed at him (especially about his mother). Fr. McMillan
won't be breakfasting with them Thursday morning but asked
Wednesday night that they return at 9am to continue their
visit with Jake. After the three look around school, I'll have
Winna get some 'alone time' with Jake in the garden after they
eat lunch with the Father. He'll have that opportunity to ask
M&J stuff at the table. Winna and Jake return. It is suggested
(I don't know by whom yet) that the three 'boys' explore the
Rosebud res. while Winna takes care of some 'paperwork' with
the Father. Story clips B&C. Upon their return to school,
Winna spends more time with Jake alone. Dinner with Fr.
McMillan, the question is popped to Jake. He says 'no' to
returning to Havre with Winna as described earlier.
Jake is your character and though you've 'put him in my hands'
I still need a good 'send off' by you to get him right. Part 15
is this transitional phase between us and that's why I'm
depending heavily on your help. What other 'events' Thursday
would be good to take place? Jake is on the defensive to
prevent difficult questions being asked and he'll not answer
any upon him. Winna learns that Jake isn't ready to talk about
his mom per your outline where he says, "I don't want to talk
about that right now" in the garden with her.
In case you haven't guessed, that remaining half bottle of
wine is in me this evening and my lover is soundly snoring.
The weekend is the only time we have quality time together as
he comes home from work tired Mon-Fri going to sleep. A nice
weekend for me to get away from story writing which consumes
most of my life.
I'll post this letter to you on Monday. I want to write a bit
more for part 15 before showing it to you. Please answer my
questions posed, if you agree to basic outline of events that
tear Jake away from his school. If you can come up with any
'vulnerable' moments that reveal this troubled teen to M&J/
Winna, PLEASE let me know. For now, Jake is on the defensive
and wearing his actor's mask. No real grieving yet with Winna
(unless it's 'off story' when they're in the garden alone).
Thanks for bearing with me, Luke! Your character is posing a
great challenge for me to write until I get a 'feel' for him.
When my fingers do, they'll fly over the keyboard to get part 15
finished. It's my concern about pleasing you and being true to
your vision for Jake while making the story believable that is
difficult. I need events to be 'real' and understandable since
that's one of my strong points that's attracted a reader
following to NtTL. We've set out goals for Jake. Yet to achieve
them, things must happen from a motivational standpoint that's
often not logical but coming from very human reasoning and
emotions. Poor Jake! He's sure going to be sent through the
wringer these next few days. I want readers to feel for him
and forgive his cool teen smugness and pot shots at Mike.
7/27/05 Luke wrote:
Your "talking points" in your letter are fine with me. That's
my understanding of Jake also. Jake is clear intellectually
that Winna could not have come to see him or get him before
this because she didn't know he existed. However, emotionally
he still feels angry, as you say, that she hadn't come before
this. Paralleling this same split with the gay issue for Jake,
he probably knows intellectually that his behavior is "gay
behavior" but he doesn't feel any emotional connection to the
sex except with Dr. Karl and he isn't consciously aware of
that yet. This intellectual/emotional split is very common
with people. "I just know that I should leave him (intellectual)
but I can't (emotional)"
Yes, I do think that Jake will keep his prostituting secret.
I do wonder how he's going to react when he realizes that Fr.
McMillan knows about this and figures out that he's probably
shared this with Winna? It is interesting that you do not
plan on M&J knowing about the prostituting until they get back
from their honeymoon. Also, when you say that Winna confides
in Grandfather, I guess she will also confide in him about the
prostituting. Maybe this will free Grandfather up to talk with
Jake about this and, maybe, do some healing. I cannot imagine
Jake being comfortable or willing in terms of talking to Winna
about this. And vice-versa.
Yes, Jake has been in a stable, loving place at the Rosebud
School. I had not thought of it this way, but he would
certainly say "no" when invited to go home with Winna. Your
suggestion of having Fr. McMillan have a heart-to-heart talk
with Jake about his recent knowledge about Jake's prostituting
is great! You have a wonderful mind in terms of all this! This
is really perfect in terms of an explanation and in terms of
Jake changing his mind about going to Havre. Will you be able
to at least suggest what Fr. McMillan told Jake (and also Winna)
to the reader? Since Mike doesn't know, then I guess the
reader won't know either except through the background
material on Jake that has gone back and forth between the two
of us!
It's OK that Jake be a "nasty teenager" for a while. That is
certainly true to life. Your last paragraph of what you've
written so far in TEACHL15 is really excellent in this regard.
You have a very sexy description of Jake in his form fitting
t-shirt and tight jeans. It made me get hard reading it! Mike
clearly sees how sexy and attractive Jake is. And then after
checking out his crotch and that is noticed by Jake followed
by a "knowing smirk" from Jake is great. Jake is probably
used to getting eyed by people. He knows that he's attractive
so, especially knowing that Mike is gay, he is probably
reassured by Mike's eyeing his body like he does.
Jake taking pot shots at Mike is a nice way for the story to
go for awhile. You know the dictum that "love and hate are
two sides of the same coin"? Well, it would not be at all
surprising that Jake's hostility for Mike may well be
covering over a real attraction to him although Jake is not
conscious of it now. Nonetheless it might be there unconsciously.
Are you still planning on having the boys go with Jake to
visit Dr. Karl and get the medical records? Also to allow
Jake and Dr. Karl to say good-bye. I'd like to see that but
it's your story and let your fingers make that decision, OK?
Yes, maybe Dr. Karl would have been Fr. McMillan's informant
about this. And Fr. McMillan would certainly be willing to
keep his source quiet even if he knew where the information
came from. This does show a kind of disloyalty on Dr. Karl's
part in terms of keeping Jake's secrets but, since Jake is
just 16 and Dr. Karl is a medical professional who also happens
to love Jake, he might want to protect him from himself and
have decided to send the information to Fr. McMillan.
I like the idea that Jake is going to really be a challenge
for everybody. That means that both Jake as well as his
family (W, M, J, and Grandfather plus probably RW and HFO)
have to work at getting this relationship established.
TOURING THE SCHOOL:
* Probably nobody else would go with them to tour the school.
Jake is old enough to show them around and Fr. McMillan
trusts him to do that.
* Yes, Jake having only one roommate would be fine. And it
could well be Charlie. Although Charlie is younger than Jake,
I imagine that the Jesuits in charge would have realized how
much Jake has taken Charlie under his wing and allowed them to
room together. This would have allowed talks in bed in the
dark between them. Maybe other things that I've already talked
about......? So there could be noticed a distinct difference
between Jake's more erotic NA posters and Charlie's posters of
rock stars, sports figures, and so forth - but all "in action"
and in full uniform. Jake's posters, by contrast, are hunky
and probably partially clothed.
* Fr. McMillan would have told Jake that he was excused from
classes as well as "work assignments" for the week. I don't
know of a special term for the jobs that Jake would have had
around the school. In Jake's case, his work assignment was
probably in the computer lab. Maybe when they're touring,
some kid could be there and have a question for Jake that he
doesn't know the answer for. Maybe Mike could step in and
answer it. How would Jake react to that, Mr. Writer? I would
imagine that Fr. McMillan feels sorry to see Jake go because,
among others things, how well he manages the computer lab.
Maybe Jake tells them that a lay volunteer - a "computer nerd"
who came out for a year to volunteer his time to the Jesuit
mission among the Indians - taught him all about computers when
he was 12. The school is really going to miss him and is
going to have a hard time replacing him in the computer lab.
* What Jake is explaining to Jessie and Winna hanging on the
wall of the school is probably something from the State of
South Dakota that was awarded to the school for services to NA
citizens. Jake could be explaining when the school was
established.
* What else would be on the walls? Probably photos of past
graduating classes from 12th grade along with their teachers.
More likely, though, there would be photos of the whole school
student body including faculty for each year. That would allow
Jake to point out himself, with some embarrassment, each year
from when he first appeared in a picture at age 5 up until
last year's picture. Maybe he can point out others he knew
including Fr. Jerry from when he was much younger. Maybe
Mike/Jessie can pick something up from him when he says this
and realize that Fr. Jerry was somebody special to him.
* Another thing that would be on the wall would be a picture
of the founder of the Jesuits, St. Ignatius Loyola. He is
usually pictured as a Spanish soldier which is what he was
before he left all that and became a priest and founded the
Society of Jesus. Jake would have probably been told about
St. Ignatius Loyola by various Jesuit teachers over the years.
* I imagine that the chapel would be rather simple rather than
grand. This place is really a mission without a lot of money.
I've imagined the chapel as a rather plain place with an altar
in front, pews in the main part of the chapel, and maybe some
stained glass windows although maybe not because these would
have been expensive. Actually, as a mission, Rosebud might
have gotten stained glass windows from a Jesuit church
elsewhere which got renovated and the old windows were sent
off to the mission. The altar would have four or six candles
on it. Behind it or off to the side would be a tabernacle
where the Blessed Sacrament (consecrated hosts) would be kept.
Beside it and in plain view would be a candle burning - it's a
candle inside a glass holder. The holder is either clear or red.
The burning candle indicates the presence of the Blessed
Sacrament. It's why Catholics genuflect when they enter or
leave a Catholic church. There would also be confessional
booths along the side - maybe two or three of them. They would
consist of a center door where the priest would go in and sit
down. And then there would be doors on either side of the
priest where penitents could go in and make their confession.
On entering the chapel there would be holy water fonts where
one would dip one's hand and make the sign of the cross on
entering or leaving the chapel.
* When they peek into a classroom or two, they will notice
that each one has a crucifix on the wall-typical of every
Catholic school. Also above the front blackboard are the
letters "AMDG". The Jesuit "motto" is "Ad Majorum Dei Gloria"
(hence AMDG) and is Latin for "To the Greater Glory of God".
Beyond that I imagine that the classrooms would have
blackboards, overhead projectors, and maybe set up for using
MS Power Point. Since they have all this donated computer
equipment with software like Power Point loaded onto them,
this would not be at all impossible. The school, despite its
poverty, is very high tech.
* They might look through the gymnasium - essentially an indoor
basketball court, bleachers on either side, and a locker room
with adjoining showers. One locker room for the students, one
for visiting teams, and a smaller third room for the coaching
staff. I'm sure that some interesting things went on in
those locker rooms however Jake will not allude to that if
Winna is along on the tour.
* Maybe they would also go into the kitchen/refectory. That's
where the students eat and also where the dining room is that
they ate with Fr. McMillan. Maybe Jake would take them through
the kitchen talking about how meals are prepared there and,
afterwards, dishes are washed and things are set up for the
next meal. Maybe Charlie could be there on "kitchen duty" and
that would give Jake the chance to introduce him to them and
allow them to talk and maybe kid around. I would imagine that
all three (M,J,W) would notice that Charlie, despite his
joking and smiling, seems on the verge of tears. Maybe Jake
is too. Winna would particularly notice this as a mother.
Maybe she would ask Jake about Charlie as they are leaving.
Maybe this could plant the seed for possible later action in
terms of Charlie coming to Havre?
* The walls of the corridors in the dorm, school building,
computer lab, library, and so forth would have some rather
large pictures of saints. Maybe one of the pope!
* The computer lab would probably be off the library. Jake
would be particularly "proud" when he takes them in here
because this is his domain. Maybe Mike asks him about
Internet access and Jake has him sit down and shows him the
DSL Internet connections they have. Maybe they have wireless
connection. Jake probably has the computers all in some sort
of connection. He probably has a desk of his own with his own
computer. Maybe a new set of computers and software has just
arrived and is stacked near his desk for him to sort through.
Now, unfortunately, he will not be able to do that. Maybe he
takes at least Mike into the adjoining work room where Jake
assembles computers from parts of the donated, old ones
they've received. Mike is impressed!
Well, I think I've responded to what you've requested. What do
you think of Khasidi's "Mike's dream"? It's a real stream of
consciousness isn't it? Khasidi has quite an imagination and a
very smooth writing style. I wonder if he's a writer himself?
I hope you're doing well and I look forward to getting the
fuller TEACHL15 when you have time to finish it.
7/28/05 Vince wrote:
THANK YOU for responding quickly to my many questions upon
you about Jake which must seem becoming like an avalanche.
Sorry. I'm not in my element at Jake's Jesuit school. I have
my own memories from attending a Christian school but it's not
a Catholic school. Your descriptions of this Jesuit flavoring
will really help make my... OUR story believable to readers
especially if they had the 'honor' of attending Catholic
school in their youth!
After sobering up and rereading my last letter to you, I was
concerned by using the word 'detest' to describe how I'll be
portraying Jake to my readers when he takes pot shots at Mike.
He's got to fend this white guy off so attack is better than
having to defend. I'm relieved that you didn't take my harsh
wording to describe a boy near and dear to heart - to heart!
You understood what I meant and agree with it. Don't worry,
there will be true Jake moments when his vulnerability will
show to heart ache readers for this poor boy.
Jake will prove a complex character and a hard nut to crack.
I should be on the right track with him because of our
exhaustive correspondences where you've given me this boy's
psychological profile. If I'm able to write him right, that
will make Jake that much more believable and not the smiling
pulls down his pants simpleton that Simon is. Thanks for
finally getting it in my head that Jake intellectually knows
he performs gay acts while emotionally doesn't think he's gay.
That helps me explain what Jake said it in the Truth game.
Because Fr. McMillan's Thursday night talk with Jake and his
Friday morning talk with Winna are 'off story', I don't have
to come up right now with just what that 'evidence' he has
that Jake is prostituting. It could be a culmination of things
as we've discussed before so when the Father receives that
anonymous letter (doesn't have to be from Dr. Karl but it sure
sets up a great future story plot!), that clinches it and he
must act to 'save' Jake from himself as well as the reputation
of his school. The authorities are not involved per the
earlier draft of Jake's outline. Yet if Jake isn't stopped,
Fr. McMillan worries that it could come to involve the police
catching the boy with a john.
I'm not going to go into the Father's threat of placing Jake
in a foster home, his evidence of the boy's prostitution and
such with you now as it may never come out in the actual
story. I'll try to keep my letters to you direct from now on
instead of 'what ifs' so I can spend the time WRITING the
story. I haven't been trying to gather extra 'material' from
you by all my questions to place in a Jake outline for Readers
to enjoy. You haven't accused me of this; just wanted to get
that out in the open. When you started the 'Jake Letters' that
comprised all of our past correspondence, that prompted me do
so in plain text for me to easily consult and that led to
releasing it to Readers, after censoring out our personal
information. A lot of your thought for Jake may never be known
so in this way, Readers will through the Jake Outline texts. I
will soon end releasing our letters about Jake after parts
15/16 are written. By then, you'll have passed your character
to me without my needing to hinder you so much with questions!
After Winna is given the shocking news about her nephew
Friday morning by Fr. McMillan, Jake is called into his office.
You can imagine how the boy feels to know that his aunt KNOWS!
He begs her not to tell M&J and she agrees to keep it secret
for the present. Of course she'll go through gaining
Guardianship of Jake. She'll think had badly her sister Judy
has done in raising her son (from her own prostitution/drugs
that led to her murder - yes, Winna is told this by the Father
in their Friday morning meeting to help explain why Jake may
have followed in her doomed footsteps). We're going to see a
very emotionally shattered Jake on Friday as you can imagine.
M&J will wonder about that. So will Readers by Jake's change
of heart from Thursday night when he said 'no' to Winna. Upon
return to Havre, Winna will confide in her uncle (grandfather)
about Jake so he can help her with the boy while M&J go off on
their honeymoon. A grandfather is sometimes easier to talk to
about difficult things than with an aunt or cousin. Jake's
earlier pot shots at Mike and denial of being gay makes it
that much harder for him if M&J learn that he's been
prostituting. Hence the test in trust when Winna remains
closed mouth to M&J about this. It will help glue her to her
nephew by keeping a dark secret.
Please don't give me so much credit about this recent idea to
get Jake's ass back to Havre. I'm taking elements YOU came up
with in your outline to put forward this solution that I'm
relieved you agree with. Readers won't know (yet) what changed
Jake's mind until much later in the series (or even the next).
That scene where Mike checks out Jake's crotch came from you,
even to that 'knowing smirk' the boy gives. I liked that idea
put forward in your letter and it works well in this scene.
You may be right about Jake's unconscious attraction to Mike.
I see Dr. Karl as a white guy (I'm sure you've given me a
description of this married man somewhere). Who knows what may
happen in the NtLS series when Jessie is busy getting trained
by grandfather and Mike is left home alone with Jake. No
promises, but guys get horny!
Dr. Karl will make an appearance. He has medical records
needed for Friday's transfer of Guardianship. I'll let my
flying fingers worry about it when story time arrives. I'm
learning not to think ahead too much during the Rosebud visit
other than to set 'must have' scenes and fulfilling story plot
goals. Too much can change!
Dr. Karl is showing 'tough love' for Jake if he is that
anonymous letter writer that tips Fr. McMillan off not to
mention personal risk since he's known to be Big Brother to
the boy though his sexual relationship wouldn't be suspected
due to the man having a wife and kids. Jake wouldn't know
right away. The letter was anonymous and Fr. McMillan doesn't
actually read it out to the boy. Later, an email between Jake
and Karl may reveal this and set up a strong story moment
where, if Jake has matured enough, he 'thanks' the man for
helping him at a critical point in his life.
Jake will prove a real challenge for his family! That will
only endear him that much more to Readers when he does come
around in the NtLS series. For now, he's a smart ass 16 yo.
on Thursday. He's defiant and angry Friday, mellowing out
(emotional detachment and surrender to his fate) Saturday
during test taking, and who knows what on Sunday morning when
he goes home with Winna and Jes. Mike will Hear what's said
during their Amtrak journey via mind Talk with Jes while he
drives home alone in his truck.
Your further school descriptions will help me write Jake's
tour for the three. Thank you. A chapel? The only building
that didn't get burned down in 1969 (by Red Power advocates)
was the Church. Is a chapel separate? I won't write that it
is a chapel. Your Catholic terms like genuflect(ion) and the
Blessed Sacrament will prove very useful in describing their
visit to the Church. You're a real life saver, Luke!
I like your idea of all them class photos showing a younger
Jake in the entrance hall. Thanks!
I've started writing the computer lab scene. Your idea of
Jake having his own 'station' stacked with software to go
through, a room where he fixes computers up (proudly shown to
Mike) and having a student ask Jake a question that Mike is
able to answer instead are great! It helps connect Mike to
Jake from a common interest while setting up a 'professional'
rivalry. Jake knows computer hardware. Mike knows software.
Charlie will be Jake's roommate. It helps explain things in
your earlier outline about them being 'close' friends. Sorry.
I can't get Charlie up to Havre for the simple fact that
there's no more room in Winna's house! She won't have legal
ability to take this kid anyway. It will be a tearful scene
when the boys are separated. How to show this in the story
will be up to my flying fingers to come up with. Any
suggestions from you will be helpful. Friday night is when
Charlie would know when Jake tells his closest friend that
he's going home with his aunt on Sunday. Or perhaps, it won't
be until Saturday night since Winna won't make it known until
Saturday morning that she intends on taking him home Sunday
instead of waiting until the remaining three weeks of school
are over with. Hence the reason for Jake taking final tests
Saturday afternoon. It sinks in then to Jake that he's leaving
school and he cries with Charlie Saturday night.
More has been written in part 15 since what you were sent
Tuesday. The restaurant breakfast scene has the three talking
about Jake and Winna's warning to Mike NOT to say or do
anything to confirm the Father's or Jake's suspicions that M&J
are a couple. You didn't comment on Winna's brief moment about
remembering that she's a woman instead of a 'mom' at the
register with that Native man. I took Khasidi's point about my
portrayal of women in my stories to heart.
8/3/05 Vince wrote:
While I'm awaiting your reply to my last correspondence and
review of what I've written for part 15 NtTL, I have come up
with this idea of WHO wrote 'that' letter to the Rosebud
school's Headmaster tipping him off that Jake has been
prostituting himself. It wasn't Dr. Karl nor one of the teen's
johns. This 'mystery' person cares enough for Jake that he's
trying to save him even if that risks discovery of being the
author of that letter. Who was it? This is the computer
printed letter anonymously mailed to the Headmaster:
-------------------------------------------------------------
Rosebud Indian Mission School
Rosebud, South Dakota 57570
Rev. Sean McMillan, SJ, Headmaster
PERSONAL AND CONFIDENTIAL
Dear Sir, April 28, 2003
I am writing you this letter in the hope that you can help
save someone. What he's done is terribly wrong but the person
who's been hurt is himself and if he doesn't stop, he'll end
up on the street or suffer a worse fate. We need to help this
wayward student of your school through the compassion and love
of our Lord Jesus Christ. Not to blame, not to punish or to
turn out from the fold but to help. I have heard that you are
a good man who will take what I'm confiding in you to heart
so he can be turned away from this destructive lifestyle.
I cannot tell you how I know the things I do. It'll probably
get me into a lot of trouble if I'm discovered writing you
this letter but I'm willing to risk it so that you can save
him. Please remember that we need to help this student and not
punish him.
His name is Jake Marques. He has been having sex with men but
I don't know if it's for the money or because he's looking for
the love of a father he's never known.
I think that a good strong talk with Jake to show him how wrong
he has acted is how he can be helped. Maybe with counseling. If
you were to suspend him, where could he go? He has no family
to take care of him. Your school has been Jake's whole life.
I beg you to consider this if you get angry at Jake for the
stupid thing he has done. Please help him. He is worth saving!
--------------------------------------------------------------
This letter reached Fr. McMillan's hands on April 29th. Though
it didn't offer any 'evidence' that Jake was prostituting
himself, the Father finally had an answer to all the other odd
things he's noticed about Jake (too much pocket money, returning
late at night to school after weekend leave, the few times that
he's been 'beaten up' that he claimed was done by white boys
in town who hate 'Indians', etc.). There are other things that
made the Headmaster suspicious about Jake that this letter
finally helped him connect all the dots.
What to do to help Jake? Fr. McMillan doesn't want to expel
one of his best students especially after recently learning
that the boy's mother had been murdered and having to deal
with a grieving Jake. He redoubled his efforts to find aunt
Winnapah who was listed in Jake's admission records in the
hope that she could help. His letter to the Blackfoot Nation
was written the next day on April 30th with this in mind.
That 'strong talk' with Jake as proposed in the letter could
wait. Fr. McMillan hoped that the boy's aunt would be found
and want to come down to visit her nephew and perhaps even
want to take him back to live in Montana. Getting Jake away
from the Rosebud area would stop him prostituting himself that
would have likely resulted in eventual discovery by the
authorities who'd put the boy into a foster home or juvenile
hall not to mention the scandal to the Rosebud school. If the
aunt couldn't be found or wouldn't be willing to take Jake
back to live with her, the Father would have to deal with
helping this 'wayward student' that would result in Jake being
taken from the school anyway and put into a foster home.
Procedures had to be followed that tied the Father's hands in
this matter.
Luckily for Jake, his aunt Winna does come down to visit him
and she expresses her desire to take Guardianship of the boy.
Fr. McMillan has not told her that Jake has been prostituting
himself. It's his hope that aunt and nephew will bond during
the visit so when Winnapah is informed about what Jake has
done, she'll not abandon him.
Does Fr. McMillan know who wrote 'that' letter? He suspects.
The wording seems like that composed by a boy who must reside
at the school. A good friend of Jake's and his confidant for
how else could this person know that he's been prostituting
himself yet care enough that he get help? WHO WAS IT? Charlie.
Jake and Charlie have been the closest of friends for many
years. Fr. McMillan acknowledged their brotherly relationship.
Jake is big and strong. Charlie is two years younger than him,
small and weak who's been picked on by the other boys until
Jake served as his protector. At thirteen (a rite-of-age),
Jake was moved from the 'younger boy' dorm to the 'older' dorm
and though Charlie was only eleven at the time, he was kept as
Jake's roommate as they'd been in the 'younger' dorm. There
was no reason to separate these 'brothers'.
Fr. McMillan has not asked Charlie if he indeed was the author
of 'that' letter. The important thing is that he knows Jake
needs help and that's what he's going to do. Sadly, the result
is that Charlie will be separated from Jake whether his aunt
takes him to Montana or if Jake is placed in a foster home.
The Father doesn't want Jake to know who wrote the letter. It
won't come up unless Jake refuses to accept Guardianship by
his aunt. In that case, Fr. McMillan would confront Jake with
those two options. Either will mean the separation of those
two 'brothers' and Jake having to leave the school.
Why did Charlie write the letter? Put simply, he cares enough
to get help for Jake. It meant violating a confidence that
risks the boys' friendship. Jake has told Charlie that he's
been having sex with men for money. The two boys used to have
sex in the 'younger' dorm but when Charlie grew older, he felt
it was wrong. He didn't share Jake's feelings for the acts
that went beyond youthful exploration of their growing bodies
and sexual relief. When Jake returned late at night from
weekend leave in town, Charlie covered for his friend. He'd
seen how Jake had been beaten up a few times and knew the
truth. A john had roughed him up. When Jake's foreskin had
been 'chewed' by a man, he knew that too. Dr. Karl treated
that and Charlie also knew that this doctor was one of Jake's
regulars though he felt the man meant much more to his friend
than he let on.
When Fr. McMillan confronts Jake Thursday night after the boy
said 'no' to aunt Winna's offer to assume Guardianship of him,
that letter serves as the Father's 'proof' that Jake has been
prostituting himself. He won't actually read the contents but
hold it up in his hand to show that it exists. Jake will wonder
who had 'rat' on him to the Father. Dr. Karl will come to mind.
Only a week ago, Dr. Karl had been comforting Jake over his
mother's death when the man said that he loved him beyond the
sex they've been having and said that Jake must love him too
as if they were a gay couple. Jake couldn't accept that. To
prove it wasn't so, the boy admitted that he's still seeing
other men 'for money' after claiming to have stopped it the
year earlier after Dr. Karl had scolded him that it was a
destructive thing to his life that must stop. Needless to say,
their last 'meet' ended badly. Jake figures that it was Dr.
Karl who wrote that letter to the Father. He doesn't suspect
it was his closest friend, Charlie.
I'm changing my earlier intention given you of who wrote that
letter to the Father from Dr. Karl to Charlie for several good
reasons. Though Dr. Karl really cares and loves Jake, he
wouldn't risk himself (married with children!) to the legal
consequences for having sex with a minor boy. He also knows
that if Fr. McMillan or the legal authorities knew that Jake
was having sex with men that he'd be taken away from his
school and placed in a foster home. That would mean losing
Jake. It's Dr. Karl's hope that he can turn Jake away from
prostituting himself to be in a loving relationship that he
can give the boy, though in secret. Their last meet had ended
badly but Dr. Karl thinks that was the result of a very
emotional kid who'd just learned that his mother had been
murdered five years earlier; not because he told the boy that
they were a gay couple. They'd get together again after Jake
got his head on straight.
Charlie didn't realize what the consequence of writing his
letter to Fr. McMillan would be; he only wanted Jake to get
help. The result is that Jake will be leaving the school to go
back to live with his aunt in Montana. Charlie is separated
from his closest friend and Dr. Karl loses his boy lover. Jake
thinks it was Dr. Karl who wrote that letter getting him into
all that trouble without considering that it was he himself
who's at fault for prostituting himself in the first place!
This sets up a future story plot when Jake eventually learns
that it was Charlie who wrote that damning letter. His
feelings of hate and betrayal towards Dr. Karl will turn to
love and longing for what he's lost. He'll forgive Charlie and
'thank' him for showing tough love. This maturity demonstrated
by Jake comes about after being taught what love really is by
Mike and Jessie, and through his many talks with grandfather.
So. What do you think, Luke? Readers won't know right away
what had changed Jake's mind to go back to Montana to live
with Winna. He'd told her 'no' Thursday night then agreed to
the next morning. Only in future story parts will everything
be revealed.
I hope that you approve of part 15 NtTL. An assurance I'd like
to give you is that my portrayal of the Jesuit Brothers such as
Br. Simon won't be that ALL the men at the school are chasing
boy ass. Fr. McMillan is a very decent man. So are most of the
other priests, brothers, teachers, etc. which I'll demonstrate
in part 16 NtTL. Oh. I'm bothered by using the name 'Simon' as
I already have a character named that. Could you come up with
an appropriate replacement name for this gay brother?
My flying fingers are doing just that as I get my 'feel'
for your character. While Jake is at school, he is your
responsibility to help me write the major changes coming in
his life and hence the reason why I'm bothering you with so
many damn questions! Once Jake arrives in Havre, he'll truly
become my own though texts will still pass through you for
comment and approval but without the 'veto' you hold now. I
think that's what you want. For me to own Jake so you can sit
back and enjoy reading a story instead of so much input as
needed now. I still expect parts 16/17 will be about Jake at
his school. Maybe even part of 18. That'll give me 19/20 to
get Mike's legal woes concluded, M&J's wedding and tie up any
loose ends when the NtTL series ends at part 20.
The information you've provided me about the school's Church
will be used when Fr. McMillan holds a special 'farewell'
service for Jake on Sunday morning. Jessie's talk with Jake in
his dorm room took up too much 'time' so that's why they
didn't get a tour before lunching with the Father. It's always
been my intent that the Rosebud Church is the largest in the
area and is of historical significants for having been built
in 1886. No chapel, unless that's a separate substructure.
The Church survived the arson in 1969. I want Sunday to be
glorious and filled with a religious send off for Jake by his
school and Fr. McMillan.
I have placed story clip 'C' (skinny dip scene) into part 16.
Preamble text has been written to join it with where part 15
ended for a smooth transition. I have edited this scene. Yet
I'm still bothered, as you are, by Jake beating off in front
of M&J. I WANT that to happen, M&J NOT doing it too other than
Mike 'playing' with himself as written. Some transitional
text is needed where what Jake does for sexual relief will
seem more believable in context to the scene written so far.
I'll attach part 16 for your review so you can help me with
ideas on writing the transition after the 'truth game' to Jake
beating off. PLEASE first help me 'finish' part 15 before
reviewing part 16.
I am aware that you have commented on this scene in an earlier
letter and I'll review. It didn't really suggest how to make
that translation though, as I recall. Maybe I'm wrong. We both
need to reread your past letter about clip 'C'.
I'm still holding to the course that Mike won't know that Jake
was prostituting himself until after his wedding with Jessie.
Winna will know Friday morning from Fr. McMillan. Jes will
know from Jake himself when they Share at end of clip 'C'.
He's promised his cousin not to reveal this to Mike. As a
shaman, Jes will be keeping secrets of tribesmen he helps and
Mike has already acknowledged that 'shaman secrets' grandfather
imparts to Jes during his training must be kept from him. Poor
Winna! Luckily, she'll be led through the legal procedures to
gain Guardianship of Jake Friday while in a shocked daze. Her
son will spend a few hours with her at the motel that evening
to console her while Mike wonders about it.
I've learned not to 'plan out' future scenes concerning Jake
as things tend to change but I have an idea for Dr. Karl. He's
called Friday morning to bring medical records for Jake to be
used in court that afternoon. When he comes to the school and
Jake sees him, their brief 'alone' time will be fireworks. I
don't mean with their cocks. Mike will overhear Jake accusing
the man of sending 'that' letter getting him in trouble with
the Father which Dr. Karl will deny. He wasn't its author!
A dejected Jake will feel betrayed and thus help him accept
his fate to leave the school on Sunday with Winna.
Poor Charlie! Thursday night he talks with Jake in their
bedroom and realizes the full consequences for having written
that letter to the Father. He'd be losing his older friend no
matter what - to his aunt or from Jake being placed in a
foster home. Charlie will not reveal that he was that letter's
author. He can't! Yet the boy knows it's for the best since
his friend needs help. Getting Jake away from his johns is the
solution though that means losing his friend forever. At least
they can still email each other. Charlie will fess up to Jake
in such an email later and thus set the stage for Dr. Karl's
redemption and eventual reunion with Jake. What do you think?
Can you give me any insight about Winna's emotional condition
after learning Friday morning that Jake has been prostituting
himself? She's obviously in shock during the judge's chamber
proceeding. Jessie will talk with her that evening at the
motel. Winna will feel badly towards her sister for having
exposed her son to that lifestyle (Jake tells her in the
Father's office Friday morn. in defense of why he's doing it).
How will Winna act on Saturday after Jake takes his 10th grade
finals? Will she snap at Mike, using him as a punching bag for
her anger? Winna will see Jake as the victim needing a 'real'
mother to take care of him but in the weeks after, learn that
Jake won't be mothered. He's a 'big boy' now. Mood swings.
Crying. Anger. Despair. What will Winna display in front of
Jake, M&J while keeping her nephew's secret from Mike as she's
promised?
How will Jake ACT in the days ahead? His dirty secret is
revealed to Jessie on Thursday afternoon but he promises to
keep it a secret from Winna & Mike. Jake says 'no' to Winna
Thursday night at dinner then has that talk with Fr. McMillan
that evening which shatters him. Friday morn. Winna learns and
Jake is brought into the Father's meeting to explain himself
to her. Court. Saturday tests. Maybe an outing with Winna M&J.
Sunday's Church to say goodbye and then off to catch that
Amtrak train back to Havre while Mike drives back home alone.
Jake's self esteem is blown to hell. He's going to be taken
from the home (his school) that he's ever known. Mike doesn't
know though Jake fears he will from Jessie (who will keep his
promise as will Winna). Your insight will help me write clashes,
quick patch healing, etc. that may come up Friday - Sunday.
For now, I'm tackling each NtTL story part as they're written.
Too much future planning on our part may be for nought. Yet I
want to be assured and given psychological insight into Winna
and Jake from these planned events so my fingers won't stumble.
Thank you, Luke, for hanging in there during this difficult
process of writing about a TEENAGER. Winna, M&J and grandfather
are going to have their hands full in the weeks ahead!
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End of file: JAKEOUT4.TXT My correspondence with Luke continues
Folder: A-STORY-OUTLINE-FOR-JAKE in JAKEOUT5.TXT