****************************************************************************
  *                          "NEW TO TEACHING LOVE"                          *
  *                                (part 12)                                 *
  *                              by Vince Water                  May 4, 2005 *
  ****************************************************************************
  |  Copyright 2005-2006 by Vince Water                       Corrected 5/06 |
  ----------------------------------------------------------------------------

     While Winna makes towards the front of the house, Jes and I are running
  back to our bedroom. I've nearly tripped over the end to that blanket he's
  got draped around him that's flung off in our room. My eyes run over his nude
  brown form with much longing, especially for his butt. Surprise comes into my
  lover's eyes. He reaches back for that part of him I'm staring at.

     :It's wet.:

     I'm lowering my eyes from his. He knows, of course. Jesse digs through a
  drawer for some clothes while I look around for my pair of jeans. Hmm. I
  remember taking them off in the kitchen. There's a pair laying on the floor
  near our bed but when I grab them, my hands feel how soaked they are. I'd
  worn them in the rain when burning those papers Eli Kie had mailed to Winna.

     :Aren't you going to put something on?: Asks Jesse.

     :My clothes are in the kitchen.: In a mind burst, I Show Jes that his mom
  had given me a hair cut. She'd seen me naked afterwards while we had a talk.

     :You are losing your modesty, love! Did mom really see your thing?:

     :Yeah. At least she's assured that I'm really a guy from the front of me.:
  Jes and I exchange knowing looks. He's pulling up his underwear and gives his
  butt a little slap.

     :When did this happen?:

     :Oh, that.: My face begins to burn. :Do you remember that dream you had?:
  My lover's eyes grow wide and he confirms it had been about him and Simon.
  Only a vague memory so I Send him what I'm remembering about his lusty dream
  of that boy fucking him which I'd acted out in reality. Jes also catches
  images of a similar thing Chris had done to his former self when they'd been
  invited to Scoops-up-dirt-with-his-feet's tipi to spend the night.

     :Owopspec didn't know that you... that Kris fucked him.:

     :A little boy did.: I'm Sending Jesse my complete memory of that night in
  Scoops-up-dirt-with-his-feet's tipi. The burning to my face deepens.

     :Sweet Grass had naughty hands!: remarks Jesse. He goes deep in thought.

     I'm taking a shirt out of the drawer and put it on. It covers my underwear
  well enough until we get back to the kitchen where I hope to find my jeans.
  Winna should have returned by now with whoever is guarding over the house.

     :That explains what the boy had asked of Good-eyes the next morning.:

     "Huh?" I blurt out. Jesse gives me a wink and he Tells me what happened.

     :The next morning, Sweet Grass asked my former self if Kris had given him
  any children to cherish. That's what the boy's father always called him -
  'My cherished son'. Good-eyes told him no. He thought the youth wasn't old
  enough to be told how seed is passed between two men. Sweet Grass kept
  looking at his butt. My former self realized that the boy knew already so he
  said that a baby wouldn't come to him from their male love act.:

     We're walking out of our bedroom. Jes pinches my ass and I Feel his desire
  to get his turn at fucking. :After this situation with Simon is resolved,
  we'll get back to bed. I'll lay on my belly and go to sleep.:

     :Maybe you'll have a sweet dream too,: teases Jesse.

     :Yeah. A wet dream but not from the front of me!:

     Jesse giggles. :You and I should compare memories from our former selves
  sometime. How they saw each other and felt from their own point of view. I
  think there's lots of interesting things that happened when the other wasn't
  around. Kris didn't always shadow his Indian brave.:

     :I'm sure Owopspec has lots of sexy 'tails' that Chris can only guess at.:
  Jesse giggles even louder. We enter the kitchen and find Winna talking with
  One-white-horse. Our mood turns solemn. I'm lifting my hand in a gesture of
  greeting to this man while he listens to something Winna is asking him.

     "... with Mike if he has to go looking for them on the road. Alright?"

     "I will. I've been on that dirt road myself and know better than to drive
  it during the rain. Hawk Flying Over wouldn't have attempted it if he saw how
  dangerous that muddy slop was going to be."

     I'm nodding in agreement to what One-white-horse has said. "I just want to
  make some calls for now." Turning to Winna. "Can you get Running Water on
  the phone for me, please?" She dials the number and speaks to someone who
  answers it.

     "Hello. How are you, Warm-blanket-for-man? Yes. My son is feeling better,
  thank you. I need to speak with your son... No? Could you please give me his
  cell phone number?" A pause. "It's Mike who needs to speak with him."

     I've gathered from their conversation that Running Water isn't home. Winna
  manages to get his mother off the phone and she mutters numbers to herself
  while dialing. I can hear soft ringing tones. One, two, three, four, five...
  "Winna. It's probably gonna go to voice mail. Let me have the phone so I can
  leave a message for him."

     Winna hands it over. After the seventh ring, I hear a strange voice answer
  the phone. A white accent.

     "Hi! This is Murl. Talk to me."

     "I'm sorry. I was trying to reach Running Water..." Then it hits me who
  this guy is. There are hushed voices heard through the receiver. Something
  about grabbing the wrong cell phone and I hear a familiar voice. "It's Mike!"
  I shout so Running Water will take my call.

     "Is that you, Mike?"

     "Yeah. I'm sorry for calling but I need your help."

     "What's wrong?"

     "Hawk Flying Over was driving Simon home but they haven't made it to
  Goes-late-in-the-night's trailer. That was some four hours ago! You know how
  muddy it can get out there in the rain."

     "Okay. Let me get ready and I'll go help you find them."

     Does Running Water realize what he's just revealed to me? Yeah. I think he
  does 'cause I'm hearing Murl scolding him in the background. "Where are you?"

     "In Wagner. It's a little town about fifty miles east of Chinook."

     "What I really need now is for you to call up one of Hawk Flying Over's
  neighbors if you know any. They can find out for us if he's taken the boy
  home with him."

     "I don't think my cousin would have done that."

     "One-white-horse and I agree that if he saw how muddy it was out there,
  he might have decided not to risk it. I'd nearly gotten stuck myself on that
  road when driving Simon during a rainstorm."

     "Then why didn't Hawk Flying Over call the boy's grandfather?"

     "Maybe the phone lines are down. I don't know! Before we go driving out
  there looking for them, I'd want to at least check on that possibility."

     "Alright, Mike. Give me a few minutes so I can call up Mr. Chent who lives
  across the street from my cousin."

     "Okay, bye!" Winna and One-white-horse give me mournful looks while Jes
  tries keeping a grin off his face. Through our Connection, he knows what I
  think Running Water and Murl were doing together in Wagner.

     I'm looking around the kitchen for my jeans. They're gone along with that
  sheet Winna had used on the floor to catch my hair clippings. I turn to the
  woman with my plea. "Where are my pants I'd worn earlier?"

     "Over there," answers Winna. She points to a stool that's pushed under the
  kitchen table.

     I find my jeans with a shirt folded on top. I'm putting them on while
  everyone seems to be staring at me. At least I've been wearing underwear
  covered over by a t-shirt. The phone rings. "Hello?"

     "Mike. I've reached Mr. Chent and he's told me that he sees my cousin's
  jeep parked out in front of the house."

     Relief fills me.

     "I've asked him to go over and knock on the door. And Mike. He's told me
  that his phone has been dead all day. Service didn't return until after five.
  My cousin probably has the boy with him but he couldn't reach his grandfather
  to let him know."

     "Okay, thanks!"

     "Mike. I ah... was going to tell you about Murl."

     "I'm very happy. That's the best news I've heard today, my brother."

     "Is Winna there so you can't talk?"

     "Yes."

     "I understand."

     "Let me hang up the phone in case Hawk Flying Over is trying to call me.
  We'll see each other sometime." As an afterthought I add, "Stay where you
  are since I think this situation with Simon is about to clear up."

     "Okay. Goodbye, my brother and... thanks."

     "Bye." The line goes dead. I'm breathing a sigh of relief and address
  everyone. "It's good news. Hawk Flying Over's jeep is parked in front of his
  house. Mr. Chent is his neighbor from across the street. He's going over to
  knock on his door." Winna and One-white-horse reveal their own relief. Jes
  already knew this by following my conversation with Running Water.

     :That is good news, isn't it?: Jesse Asks.

     I take my lover's meaning. My heart aches a little from the possibility
  that I'm not gonna be with Running Water anymore but I rejoice in the fact
  that he's found someone to be with. Is it only for some sex or could Murl
  become my brother's next lover? The phone rings. I'm quick to pick it up.

     "Mike? It's Hawk Flying Over."

     "Is Simon with you?" I blurt out.

     "Yes. That road to his grandfather's trailer was underwater so I took him
  back to my house. The phones have been dead for hours so I couldn't call."

     "I know. Have you spoken with Goes-late-in-the-night?"

     "Not yet. I'm calling you first." A pause. "Mike? I think that Simon has
  the flu."

     Fear squeezes my heart. My thoughts race and I say, "If that's so, it was
  good that you didn't bring him back to his grandparents. They would likely
  catch it from him and being old folks themselves..."

     "I'm thinking that too, Mike."

     "Can you take care of the boy until he's better?"

     "I sure will."

     "Go ahead and call Goes-late-in-the-night. Let him know what's going on
  and tell him that Simon's monedo can vouch that you're a good man to take
  care of him for the next few days. Say it just like that to him. I don't
  think they should risk catching the flu."

     "Alright... I let his grandfather know. Goodbye, Mike."

     "Bye." I'm sure that everyone has followed my conversation but I repeat
  what Hawk Flying Over has told me just in case.

     "The flu!" gasps Winna.

     I'm giving the woman a critical eye.

     "I don't feel sick at all," says Winna, "but I didn't have any contact
  with Simon." She levels her stern gaze on her son.

     Jesse fidgets nervously since One-white-horse is in the room. "Winna.
  Grandfather has told me that an evil spell had been cast on Jesse during the
  protest. Simon was with him so..."

     "An evil spell? Who would do this to my son!"

     I see Eli Kie's name forming on her lips. "Not him. That Trickster has
  fled from Montana but he's left behind someone to work evil on his behalf.
  I swear to you, Winna. I'm gonna track that man down!"

     "Shaman He-who-runs-up-mountains has warned us," says One-white-horse.
  "That's why we're continuing to guard over your house, Winna."

     "When is all this going to end!" cries Winna.

     I'm dropping my eyes to the woman's feet.

     "Jes-ee-ah is to be our tribe's next shaman," says One-white-horse. "Until
  he's trained, Evil will try to rub him out just as He-who-runs-up-mountains'
  son and his son were."

     I wouldn't have reminded Winna about that just now. The woman's face takes
  on a hard expression. She steps up to me so I have to look in her eyes.
  There's fire smoldering in them.

     "You find who this evil man is, Short Hair. Rub him out before he or
  Eli Kie gets another chance to... hurt my son!"

     "You've already heard my vow to find him, Winna. That Trickster who's
  fled from Montana is being tracked down by someone else. I have confidence
  that Eli Kie will die." I'm covering my mouth in a gesture that no more will
  be heard from me in this matter. I point at Winna and One-white-horse in
  turn. "Keep what I've told you from being known by others." My eyes flare.

     "Very well," utters One-white-horse.

     Winna gives her response in like kind but she adds, "You will tell me when
  these men have been dealt with."

     I'm nodding. The idea of murdering someone... I don't know if I can. Chris
  never killed anyone and he had many opportunities to do so when the soldiers
  attacked Owopspec's camp. He'd ran from them instead. How can the knife he
  carried match the rifles being shot off around him? The only man I hate
  enough to consider rubbing out is Eli Kie. He's murdered my former self. He
  hurt Jesse! What I didn't reveal to Winna and One-white-horse is that Shaman
  Charms A Bird of the Omaha is pursuing him. He knows the place where that
  Trickster intends to go and will await his arrival there to confront him.
  Who will prevail?

     "Would you like to stay for supper?" Winna asks.

     "I am honored."

     One-white-horse is beaming. Who could turn down an invitation to eat this
  woman's good cooking! I know that Hawk Flying Over practically lives on
  Winna's leftovers.


     I'm drinking down the last of my milk. My stomach is full from the roast
  beef Winna has cooked for supper and Jesse managed to eat everything on his
  plate. He didn't do so out of appeasing me but from a genuine hunger that
  comes after an illness. I turn from my lover's glowing eyes to lose myself in
  the dancing flames centering our table. I'm left with a sense of utter peace.

     Winna is catching up on family gossip. Siksika is the language being
  spoken around the table with One-white-horse that woman's target. She's
  firing off questions at him. My eyesight turns to a blur while I peer at the
  four burning candles yet I'm keeping my ears sharp to their conversation.

     "When is Susan off from college for summer break?" asks Winna.

     "Early next month," answers One-white-horse. "She'll be flying back to
  Montana on June 6th."

     I glance at the man but there's no smile on his face. I'd think he'd be
  happy to see his girlfriend after being separated during the Spring semester.
  Hmm. Susan is white so maybe there are rain clouds in their relationship.

     "Are things getting serious between you two?" the woman asks with a grin.

     "Oh. I can't tell and that's not only because she's a white skin..."

     One-white-horse suddenly remembers that there's a 'white skin' in the room
  with him. I'm laughing to alleviate the man's embarrassment for describing my
  people that way. It's practically a swear word when spoken in Siksika. "How
  long have you've been together?" I ask.

     "Nearly three years."

     "Are you thinking about popping the question to Susan?"

     "I would if I thought she'd say yes," the man answers.

     "Has she given you any hints to ask her?" One-white-horse thinks for a
  moment. I remember something revealing this man has told me about Susan.
  "Will you be hooking up electricity to your house like she's asked? If you're
  to keep a woman, she has to have lights, plugs for her hair dryer and a
  television amongst other modern conveniences."

     "I hear you, Mike. We've been talking about doing that."

     One-white-horse has been using English. I don't know why but he seems
  uncomfortable speaking Siksika with me. "Love will find a way." That draws
  the man's attention. It's something I've told him before. "It makes us face
  the truth about ourselves and what we're willing to sacrifice for the other.
  Maybe..."

     :Be careful with what you say to him!: Jesse warns.

     My next words are already coming out of my mouth. "... Susan is waiting
  to see this sign from you." They've struck One-white-horse hard. Jes looks
  down at his plate. I'm Sensing that he's Heard the man's troubling thoughts.

     "Our shaman will be marrying you and Jes-ee-ah on the 24th?"

     "Yes. You're invited to the ceremony." One-white-horse nods. "How did you
  hear about that?" Is word about our wedding spreading throughout the tribe?

     "From Charlie. I should warn you that he's quite a big mouth."

     "You don't think that he'll just tell anyone, do you?"

     One-white-horse grins like a wolf. "No. Charlie knows that I'm family so
  he was surprised that he knew about your wedding before I did."

     "I'm sorry about that. Jes and I still have to print up the invitations."

     "Will your parents and siblings attend?"

     "I don't know. My sister doesn't even know that I'm gay yet." Man! I'd
  forgotten to give Sarah a call. Maybe mom has told her about me already.

     "You have court tomorrow, don't you?"

     My heart sinks. Why is One-white-horse attacking me with difficult
  questions? Oh. He wants to avoid talking about Susan. "Yeah. My lawyer will
  be presenting the judge with some motions to delay my actual trial."

     "Would anyone like dessert?" asks Winna.

     I'm relieved that 'mom' has come to my rescue. She must have noticed my
  distress from One-white-horse's questioning. How's that for turning the
  tables to me from getting grilled himself! I remember Winna's offer of
  dessert. "Sure. What do you have?"

     "Strawberries are just now coming into season. I've bought those yellow
  cake bowls that hold them. It can be topped off with whip cream."

     "That sounds great."

     "May I have a chocolate pudding cup instead, mom?"

     Winna nods. "Would you like dessert, One-white-horse?"

     "No. Thanks."

     "Can you two go into the kitchen and fix what you want? I only want to
  have strawberries. A little later from now."

     "Sure, mom."

     Jes and I get up from the table. When I'm taking my plate, Winna flares
  her eyes at me to let it be. She wants us to clear the table later. I also
  suspect that she'd like a few minutes to talk with One-white-horse. Alone.

     I'm opening a package of yellow cake bowls while Jesse is getting a cup
  of chocolate pudding from the cupboard. Winna has already sliced up some
  strawberries. I fill my cake bowl and look for a can of whip cream in the
  refrigerator. My lover is getting us spoons.

     We sit down at the kitchen table and enjoy our desserts. Jes steals one of
  my strawberry slices so I dip my finger into his chocolate pudding. We're
  giving Winna her moment to talk with One-white-horse in the dining room. I
  wonder what that's all about?

     :Love. Take a big bite of your dessert to fill your mouth.:

     I wonder why Jes asked me that. He's spooning pudding into his mouth and
  when he gives me a wicked grin, I'm figuring out what he intends. I spoon a
  piece of yellow cake topped with strawberries and whip cream into my mouth.
  Jesse leans across to me and our lips meet. A nice kiss. Then our mouths
  open and we share our desserts with each other. A nice combination of
  chocolate, cake, strawberries and cream. After a few swallows, we break out
  in silly grins.

     :Again?: Jesse Asks.

     :It's my turn to make up an eating game!: I come up with something nice.
  :Come over here and sit in my lap.: Jesse does. His butt presses down over
  my groin and I'm reminded that he's been filled with my male dessert earlier.
  :Now close your eyes.: When I make sure that he has, I'm spooning up some
  soggy cake with strawberries. :Don't peek, Jes. Not even into my head!:

    :I'm not!:

     I lift my spoon and fill his mouth. :Whose dessert is this?:

     :Yours, silly.:

     After he swallows, I spoon up some chocolate pudding from his cup and lift
  it to his mouth. :Now try this.:

     :This is my dessert.:

     :Right. Now try guessing this one.: I spoon up some whip cream and lay my
  finger over the spoon, aiming it into his mouth.

     :Hmm. It's kind of fleshy and tough. Maybe I should chomp down...:

     Jesse bites my finger. "Ouch!" He didn't do that too hard since he's
  figured out my trick. I wiggle my finger over his tongue and he starts
  sucking on it. I'm pulling on the bottom row of his teeth with my finger.
  His tongue playfully licks over my fingernail.

     :Nice dessert. It's too bad that I can't swallow it.:

     :Turn a little, my love.: I help Jesse scoot sideways in my lap and he
  keeps his eyes closed to guess which dessert I'm about to give him. I'm
  pressing my lips against his. My tongue darts into his mouth.

     :Now what's this? It tastes good though,: Says Jesse.

     He kisses me and our tongues take turns in each other's mouth. Our arms
  wrap around each other. Our silly game is forgotten when we give into the
  passion that's building in us. :Oh, Jes. I can't seem to get enough of you!:

     :You are the nicest and most silly man that I've ever met, love!:

     We kiss like there's no tomorrow. I Feel my lover's desire to carry him
  back to our bedroom. He wants to have my ass for dessert. I'm about to do
  just that when I Sense that we're being watched.

     :It's mom.:

     Jesse continues to kiss me but our special moment has ended. No escaping
  to our bedroom now. We pull away from each other though our eyes continue to
  kiss. He turns slightly to his right.

     "What's wrong mom?"

     Jes sees the strained expression on Winna's face and my heart aches. She
  didn't like seeing us kiss?

     :No, love. She's upset about something but I don't know what.:

     I spin my butt over the stool until we're both facing mom.

     Winna releases her breath in a huff. "One-white-horse has left."

     Jesse gets up from my lap and I join him to stand before this woman.
  "Is he mad or something?"

     "We had some words," explains Winna. "I scolded One-white-horse for being
  disrespectful to you, Mike."

     "When? What did he do?" Oh. I remember how that man would only converse
  with me in English. He'd asked me those questions that I suppose Winna felt
  was trying to make me feel bad. His real intent was to get me to stop talking
  about his girlfriend. "Winna? I think it's my fault."

     "How?"

     "I reminded One-white-horse about the difficulties he's gonna face to keep
  Susan happy in his house. She wants it hooked up to electricity but I suspect
  he doesn't. It was insensitive of me to remind him of that."

     "Well. He wouldn't even listen to me and off he stormed out of my house."

     "Let me talk to him," offers Jesse.

     I'm nodding in reply since my lover probably knows better than us what is
  troubling that young man. He can tell me about it later. :Go do thy healing.:
  Jes smiles a little. He sprints down the hall towards the front door.

     "Put on a jacket, Jes-ee-ah!" Winna calls out after her son.

     I try keeping myself from smiling. Winna returns to the dining room and
  together, we clear the table. She extinguishes the four candles. The one
  closest to where One-white-horse sat is harshly blown out. Wow. She's really
  upset at that man. So protective of me.


     After the dishes are set on the drying rack, Winna turns to me with a look
  of gratitude any mother has for a good son. That has me beaming. Then her
  expression turns serious and I wonder what she's gonna say.

     "Mike? I want you to know that my son and I will be attending your court
  session tomorrow if you don't mind."

     A thought strikes me. "Don't you have to work tomorrow?" She's only on
  part time now at her construction company and goes in on Mondays, Wednesdays
  and Fridays.

     "My boss is allowing me to make that day up on Tuesday."

     "Okay, sure. I'd like you to attend. Not much is gonna happen though as
  I've said."

     "In any case, we'll be there to support you."

     "Thanks."

     "Do you have time tonight to give me a lesson?"

     A lesson? Oh. "Let me get my laptop for you." I'm running off to the
  bedroom and bring it to the front room where Winna is already sitting on the
  couch. After plugging in the power, I sit on her right side and boot it up.
  While we're waiting, Winna asks me questions about how to create a new bid
  estimate form her boss wants done. "Yes. MS-Word can do that for us."

     I enter that program. From Winna's description, I'm setting up fields to
  her new form while not really showing her how that's done. This is advanced
  stuff in MS-Word. She's also too tired to do much learning, I suspect. After
  twenty minutes, my screen displays the estimate form she wants. Hmm. I've not
  Heard from Jesse all this time. :How are things going, my love?:

     :One-white-horse is a tough cookie to crumble.:

     :Better you trying to than me.: Winna is asking me something.

     "... to my computer at work?"

     "I'll copy it on disk." After making a final save to the laptop's hard
  drive, I return to my bedroom to get a blank disk from my bag. This is used
  to save a copy of the estimate form to. Winna has a notepad and pen ready. I
  give her step-by-step instructions on how to retrieve this document at work.

     "Let me try it myself so I'll be sure it'll be able to do it at work."

     My laptop is given over to her. It doesn't even fill that space between
  her legs and I'm noticing again how plump this woman is. Such a contrast to
  her thin son. Both sides of my laptop had stuck out from the sides of
  Jesse's legs.

     Winna puts the disk back into my laptop and runs her finger across my
  glide pad to set the pointer onto the My Computer icon after some difficulty.
  She pushes the left button once. Nothing happens of course. "Double click it."

     After Winna does, the My Computer dialog box appears. Her finger runs over
  my glide pad but the pointer keeps going around in quick circles. She finally
  manages to set it on the floppy disk icon. "Double left click," I'm reminding
  her. The file on disk is displayed but I keep silent to have the woman follow
  her notes since I won't be looking over her shoulder at work to help her. She
  remembers to double click this time.

     MS-Word starts and that bid estimate form I've set up for her appears. I
  suggest a few things such as renaming her file for each client before filling
  out the fields. Otherwise, she'll have to erase them to get a blank form for
  her next client. Winna writes down notes.

     "I'm sorry if I seem like a dummy, Mike."

     "No! We're both tired and I'm sorry for not giving you lessons as I've
  promised. It's like anything you're trying to learn, Winna. You need to
  practice for it to sink in. How about you and I plan on setting some time
  aside every other night to work on MS-Word?"

     Winna nods. "I also need to get used to your laptop."

     I've noticed her difficulty in working with my glide pad. Her desktop
  computer at work has a mouse that she's more comfortable with. After court
  tomorrow, I'll suggest that we go get a computer for her to use at home. I
  hope she won't insist on paying for it since Jes will also be making use of
  it as well. He's not been in school for weeks! Not that he needs to attend
  special programs anymore but learning writing skills and practicing English
  is still necessary in spite of him becoming a big medicine man. Everyone has
  paperwork to fill out these days.

     :I've Heard that, love.:

     :Let's get a computer tomorrow for you and mom to work on.:

     :Sounds great. Do you have any good games to play on it?:

     :Yeah. You can play my 'Write and Say: It's a Boy's World' program."

     :Booorrrring. I mean a real game.:

     :You have to spend time on improving your writing skills first before
  getting 'dessert'.: Jes catches my drift.

     After Winna practices with loading up the estimate form from disk a few
  times, she hands my laptop back to me with a weary sigh. I'm closing down
  Windows XP. "If you need any help on your computer at work, call me."

     "I'll do that, Mike. Thank you."

     Hmm. I've been stuck in her house for too long so I plan on getting out
  more now that I have a pickup truck. A return to that freedom I've enjoyed
  with riding my motorcycle to explore Montana.

     Winna gets up from the couch and sits in her comfort chair. The television
  is switched on. A news program. I'm dreading what it may report so I unplug
  my laptop's power supply and escape back to the bedroom. A weary sigh escapes
  my lips. Tomorrow! I'm sure not looking forward to that. Oh. Winna offered to
  wash my wrinkled clothes tonight that I'll wear in court. I'm gathering up my
  soggy pair of jeans, underwear and shirt from off the floor and pull out them
  good clothes I've worn to class from my laptop bag. A pile of dirty clothes
  near the closet draws my attention as well. I'm carrying them in my arms
  (dropped a sock!) towards the back of the house. Jes and I had cleaned out
  the laundry room of construction materials some days ago. It's a long narrow
  room but easy to navigate now. I drop my armful of clothes on the dryer.

     Where's the laundry soap? The washer looks really old and I'm unsure how
  to work the dial. Hmm. I'd better let Winna run her machine since she's more
  familiar with washing clothes in it. Not that I haven't done my own laundry.
  I have for years, only trudging to the laundry mat when in desperate need for
  clean clothes.

     That errant sock is fetched. After searching the bedroom for any more
  clothes to wash (found some), I return to the laundry room. The dryer is
  piled high so it may take Winna several loads to clean. I'm turning back and
  notice that room on the other side of the passageway. It contains a work
  table. Shelves above it are filled with wood carvings, mostly rounded staves.
  I recall that Winna crafts hand drums. She carved that wooden cross for me
  that's hanging down from my truck's mirror. This must be her work area.

     I return to that short passage, go past our bedrooms and after going
  through the kitchen and dining room, walk up to where Winna is sitting in
  her comfort chair nearly fallen asleep. I'm reluctant to bother her.

     "What is it, Mike?" The woman covers her mouth when she yawns.

     "I've put all our dirty clothes on the dryer. If I thought I could work
  your washing machine, I would have done so myself. Sorry to bother you."

     "Did you get the clothes you'll be wearing tomorrow for me to wash?"

     "Yes. They're at the bottom of that pile." Winna gets up from her chair.
  I'm about to go with her when the front door opens. It's Jesse. :How did it
  go with One-white-horse?:

     :He's really down.:

     Jes doesn't Say more and I don't press him. It looks like he tried to
  reach out to that man but his help was spurned.

     :I'm going to take a bath now.:

     :Can I join you?:

     :You've already taken a shower, silly.:

     Oh, yeah, after Winna had given me a hair cut. I wouldn't mind sharing
  this pleasure with my lover but I'm Sensing that he'd rather be alone for a
  while. He's feeling rather down.

     "I'll meet you in bed, love. Go take a nap and wait for me."

     I love hearing Jesse's soft Indian accent. "Okay. You'll find me face
  down in our bed." He smiles shyly, taking my hint. I'm returning to our
  bedroom with a tingling dick. Winna is heard filling the washer with clothes
  and there's a clicking when she sets the machine. Water begins to run in it.
  I'm ducking into the bedroom before she sees me.

     All my clothes come off and I slip under the blanket. My right foot hits
  something round. Oh. That's Winna's fetish she's crafted for her son to ward
  off evil. At my head sits Brown Bear. I'm looking around Jesse's room and
  notice how juvenile it looks. When we shop at Wal-Mart tomorrow, I'll suggest
  that we get stuff for our walls that would be more suitable for our room if
  he doesn't mind.

     I lay over my belly and try not thinking about tomorrow. It's all in my
  lawyer's hands now. All I'm gonna do is sit there in court and shut my mouth.
  When I begin thinking about my actual trial, I cast that from my head. Brings
  Wood was right. Why look ahead at all the troubles in my life because it'll
  just overwhelm me. This bedroom is a sanctuary from all that. It's here that
  the boogie man is left outside our door so that Jes and I can be happy
  together and carefree if only for a little while.

     My arms stretch out over the bed. I'm smelling male sweetness in the sheet
  below me. Yet another stain will it bear after tonight from my leaky butt. I
  wiggle myself back there. Jes will return from his bath to find me ready for
  him. My dick tingles a lot. I close my eyes and think about all those
  wonderful moments of us making love together.


     Hands are felt over my back. A heavy softness presses down on my butt and
  I sigh with contentment. I've fallen asleep awaiting Jesse's return but he's
  here now. A yawn springs from my lips.

     "Are you tired?" asks Jesse.

     "Just taking a nap, my love." His little hands press down with all their
  might to massage the muscles in my back. I'm wiggly my ass suggestingly
  against him.

     "Trying to escape me?"

     "Escape? It's my turn to play dead." Jesse doesn't like my use of words.
  I'm Sensing his gloomy mood but he casts it aside when giving into his lust.
  His hard dick tickles against my cheeks when he reaches up for my shoulders.
  I'm moaning with pleasure.

     There's a low rumbling sound heard beyond the wall where Brown Bear sits.
  That's the washing machine. It's a familiar soothing sound that reminds me of
  my childhood when I'd slept in the basement. My sister and I had grown too
  old to sleep in the same room and there were only two bedrooms in my parent's
  house. I'd fall asleep over my cot to the washing machine and dryer running.
  Mom often washed clothes at night.

     A yawn fills my mouth. And another. Jesse's hands are working magic on my
  back. His warm butt presses down over mine in a sensual massage of its own.
  It's dark in our bedroom. There's that faint glow of the nightlight but I'm
  used to sleeping with it. My body is fully relaxed. I surrender to the
  pleasure my lover is giving me...

     Owopspec is kissin' his way down my back while he massages me. I know
  what that will lead to but my young brave has since broken in my butt with
  Indian love these four months I've been with him. His boy has, too. I'm
  getting used to the notion that Breechclout-boy and I share this man for a
  lover. We're more often doin' his ass but of late, the boy takes a turn in
  mine after Owopspec has been with me. His dick is a mite smaller and no
  reach to give me them strange thrills deep in me as the man can. It blows my
  mind that I get filled with sperm. Both of 'em shootin' in my hole and their
  seed minglin' just like our hearts for each other.

     I've near fallen asleep. My legs ache terrible from that long walk along
  the river where Owopspec wants to trade with another tribe. Cogue-ahtose, a
  borrowed horse whose name means 'Moon' in Indian was burdened with lots of
  buffalo skins so that's why we couldn't ride him. Some of them hides are
  Warrior Looks-to-sky and is why he'd loaned Moon to us for this journey. We
  reached Chief Hands-fly-... whatever (I'm still learnin' Indian) camp by
  evening so our trade will happen in the morn.

     Owopspec has reach my ass with his strong hands. He likes to fondle it a
  while an' get real excited before mounting me. Them kisses feel nice. I yelp
  out when he nips me good! Laughter is heard. Huh? Canna be my brave 'cause
  he's licking deep in my ass so I think someone is watchin' us. I'm too tired
  to care much and enjoyin' my lover's tending. No tipi are we in. As late
  guests to this tradin' meet, we'd been put down at the edge of camp with a
  fire to keep us warm. Anyone can wander near to see what my brave is doin' to
  my ass but I don't think it'd shock 'em. Indian love would to my folk 'cause
  they'd not even considered the idea of two men bein' naked together and doing
  love acts. Lots of the notions in my head have been turned topsy turvy whilst
  I been with Owopspec and his People. Their ways are different but not all of
  'em bad.

     I cry out when the sensation from my asshole overwhelms me! Owopspec is
  lickin' in there good. It better than feelin' his cock since a tongue don't
  give me that uncomfortable fullness like I hafta poop. I'm stickin' my butt
  up for him. He spits, licks me deep some more and then there's a coolness
  felt over my cheeks. I'm not left alone for long. My brave lay over me and
  his knob press on my hole. Goes in. Ahhh! There no pain and with a gentle yet
  insistent thrust, our bodies become one. He gets so frantic with his mounting
  that I grunt out like a war drum. His arms pin mine down to our ground mat.
  In and out, his cock plows my ass quick like he's gonna be brought to seeding
  already. My hole pains a bit from the man's stiffenin' so he is close to it!
  A lusty groaning. Yup. My Indian brave has wet in me.

     Kisses on my neck feel good. That rhythmic beat continues in my ass which
  surprises me since I'd thought Owopspec had spent himself. Hmm. There's an
  unexpected softness against my chest and legs. A machine's low rumbling is
  heard from in front of me. My eyes snap open. In the faint glow, I see
  pillows and two legs sticking towards me that are Brown Bear's. This is
  Jesse who's fucking me. Man! I must have fallen asleep and dreamed about
  being Chris.

     :You were, love. I kind of helped you with that.:

     A yawn fills my mouth. :That was a nice visit with Chief Hands-fly's tribe
  when we went trading.:

     :Chief Hands-flown-out-in-anger,: corrects Jesse. :That was his name.:

     :Oh. Chris didn't know that much Siksika then.:

     :Bad-eyes was proud of how many words you had learned in them first four
  moons while your hand gesturing was even better.:

     :It's easier to see the shape for words with my hands than to remember how
  to speak short soft-sounding syllables.: Jesse has paused with his stabs. I
  wiggle my ass to get him fucking me again.

     :What do you remember from that night?:

     :My aching legs! It had been a long walk from Owopspec's tribe to the one
  we traded with. Why?: My lover giggles. I grow wide in the eyes when he
  Reveals what happened after Chris fell asleep beneath his spent brave. A few
  other needing men had enjoyed that white boy's ass!

     :You don't remember any of that?: Asks Jesse.

     :Hell, no!: Anger fills me that my new lover would 'lend me out' to some
  horny men without my permission after he was satisfied.

     :You had given yourself to Wind-go-through-his-hair.:

     :Yeah. But I loved that boy who was living in Owopspec's tipi. Why did he
  let me get fucked? How many men were there?:

     :If you cool your anger, love, I'll Show you. Okay?:

     My hands relax from the tight fists that had formed out of anger. In a
  way, it's rather exciting that a bunch of Indians took their turns mounting
  my ass. Must of been a new experience for them raping a white skin.

     :Don't be so sure,: Says Jesse. :Soldiers weren't only attacking Chief
  Ear-to-ground-to-hear-buffalo's band but Chief Hands-flown-out-in-anger's as
  well. They had many more warriors in their tribe than yours. The blue-coats
  didn't always ride away in victory. Those white men who weren't dead on the
  battlefield were made to suffer terribly in revenge for their attack. They
  had murdered women and children! I don't want to relive what Bad-eyes had
  seen done to those captured soldiers but I know that one act of torture was
  to shame their manhood. One of the warriors who laid over you that night had
  stuck in white butts before.:

     :Owopspec let him rape mine!:

     :No, love. He'd made love to you in front of those three men to show that
  a white skin could be loved from the heart. Didn't Bad-eyes take his time
  with massaging you, kisses, and speaking sweetly to you that night?:

     :Yeah. But I'd been... I mean, Chris had nearly fallen asleep when his
  Indian brave made love to him. When he was asleep, they raped his white ass.:

     Jesse sighs. :It's true that Bad-eyes didn't ask Krist-o-fer's permission
  but he didn't think a white youth would understand.:

     :I don't!: Both my former self and who I am as Mike are in agreement about
  this thing.

     :Love. Please open your heart to what Bad-eyes was trying to do that night
  and what he hoped to prevent.:

     :He didn't prevent me from getting used by those horny bastards. They must
  have enjoyed raping a white boy who had willingly given of himself to an
  Indian brave out of love!: Jesse squeezes me really tight in his arms almost
  to the point where I can't breathe.

     :Please, Mike! Just listen to me for a while.:

     :Okay.: Jesse relaxes his arms and I gasp for breath. Was he trying to
  keep me from speaking out in anger by doing that? I don't need air to Speak
  to my lover mind to mind. His thoughts fill my head.

     :There was talk amongst Chief Hands-flown-out-in-anger's band to go on a
  revenge warpath. Not against the fort; it was too strongly manned but to
  attack a farming village that had dared to start up within reach of their
  warriors. They planned to kill all of those white skins: men, women and
  children taking no captives. Bad-eyes couldn't speak against their lust for
  revenge but he tried to show that white skins such as those in that village
  weren't bad hearted like the blue-coats who fell upon our People. They were
  human beings who were like us with families trying to live off the land.
  They planted it instead of chasing down buffalo. In spite of their different
  ways, white skins were capable of love as Kris showed for Bad-eyes.:

     :Did they rub out that white village?: I Ask.

     :No. They didn't but let me continue, love.:

     I'm Sensing where Jes is going with this but I wait for him to Speak his
  story instead of grabbing it from his head through Peeking.

     :Bad-eyes laid beside you and allowed a brave and those two warriors to
  mount your butt. They'd found relief in his on previous trade visits but
  that was before you two met. Warrior Strikes Head was last to fuck you. He
  was brutal with it at first until Bad-eyes scolded him to be gentle with his
  new lover. Strikes Head said that he thus struck his cock in rage into all
  those white skins who fell under his hand. Bad-eyes answered that Kris had
  not fallen in battle but gave himself freely to be loved and that Strikes
  Head must in like kind. 'If not for this white boy then out of respect and
  the love you hold in your heart for me.':

     I'm wondering about something. :Why didn't Chris wake up? I sure would of
  if a man was raping me good and hard.:

     :Bad-eyes shared my ability to nudge you into sleep. When Kris was tossing
  and turning those first handful of nights in his tipi, he'd hold you.:

     :I remember how comforting his arms had felt around me. It was difficult
  to get used to lying over the hard ground, smell strange things and hear
  sounds in the night that kept me awake. Are you saying that Owopspec put me
  to sleep?:

     :Yes, love. Warrior Strikes Head was enjoying your ass while Bad-eyes kept
  you asleep. He feared if you had awakened, a bad scene would have broken out
  between you and that warrior and maybe you'd even hate your Indian brave.
  Bad-eyes' words to Strikes Head made him realize that you weren't just a
  white ass to sate his lust in but a boy who'd given himself in love to one of
  the People. In the following moons when my former self's love for you grew,
  he realized how wrong it had been to let them take you. I am sorry, Mike.:

     I'm releasing my breath in a huff. :Owopspec should have known better but
  you're not responsible for his actions, Jes.: My lover rubs his nose over my
  left shoulder. That sensation turns wet when I realize he is crying in relief
  for being forgiven. His former self, that is. :It's alright, Jesse. Ah. What
  happened... afterwards?:

     :They talked around the fire while Kris slept. Bad-eyes gave his account
  of meeting you at the white man's fort, your pledge of love for each other
  through hand gestures and that's why he returned to offer six buffalo hides
  for you though the gate man accepted them not. You still ran away with him.
  How you gave your full heart to one of the People! That stirred good feelings
  in the hearts of those men who sat listening to your Indian brave's account.

     :Brave Sits-on-his-hands could not be convinced that a white skin was a
  true human being though. His father had been slain by blue-coats last winter
  and his uncle was Chief Hands-flown-out-in-anger who was planning to attack
  that white village. Bad-eyes had tried too hard to convince Sits-on-his-hands
  because angry words resulted and blades were drawn between them. Before it
  came to blows, Bad-eyes dropped his metal knife over Kris and told the brave
  he could take his revenge out on that white boy without fear of retribution
  from him.:

     I know that Christopher wasn't murdered then. Eli Kie had snuffed out my
  first life after he raped Chris as an offering unto his Dark Master. That
  completed his initiation as a Trickster. :Brave Sits-on-his-hands had every
  reason to take up Owopspec's knife yet he didn't.:

     :No, love. Sits-on-his-hands couldn't slay the boy sleeping at his feet
  who'd given him male relief and was Bad-eyes' lover though he be white. That
  young brave stalked away in anger. That weighed heavily in Bad-eyes' heart
  for he had hoped to convince him otherwise. Warriors Strikes Head and
  Rides-like-wind remained to console your Indian brave but they didn't know
  how to convince the People that white folks were human beings too.:

     Jes Shares my anguish where I'm facing this same problem in my second
  life. Many of the People today see me as a pale faced wanna be and when they
  learn that I'm gay! I'll seem less than human to them but a monster.

     :Do you remember that necklace Kris was given the next day?: Jesse Asks.

     :Yes. It was a simple deer thong but held an Indian head penny that meant
  a lot to me. I'd been gifted it from an old woman.:

     :Her name was Good-hide-scraper who was Brave Sits-on-his-hands' mother.:

     :His mother!:

     :Bad-eyes had left you alone that afternoon when he joined the war council
  which hadn't come to a decision about the chief's proposal to rub that white
  village out. What were you doing with Good-hide-scraper in his absence?:

     :I was kinda hiding out with her. So many of the People of that band gave
  Chris mean eyes so when this old woman smiled at me, I kept close. She had me
  carrying water from the river back to her tipi, snapping branches into fire
  sticks, hanging buffalo meat to smoke, beat out dust from ground mats and
  lots of other chores I figured a daughter would have performed with her but
  I didn't mind. In a way, I was like a girl for allowing a man to use me that
  way for sexual relief though in my heart, I felt how right my love was with
  Owopspec. It had taken me a while to get used to the fact that two guys could
  be in love yet remain true to themselves without one playing the female role.
  Anyway, that old squaw was kind to me. She offered me food when we rested and
  we spoke together. A combination of hand gesturing for those words I didn't
  know yet. She touched my hair...: I remember that woman's timid reaching out
  for my golden locks so I'd lowered my head to let her.

     :That is revealing, love. A woman does not touch a stranger let alone a
  young man and white skinned at that. Kris must have touched her heart.:

     :She made her way into mine as well. After eating, I was given that thong
  necklace to wear. Owopspec returned with a graven face. Food was offered to
  him by that squaw and they talked a good while. I could catch words and hand
  gestures between them that proved it was mostly about Chris.:

     :My dear love! Do you realize what Kris had done?:

     :What do you mean?: I'm Sensing joy in Jesse but not the reason for it.
  :Tell me!:

     :Good-hide-scraper told others of your good heart after your visit. When
  Bad-eyes returned to Chief Hands-flown-out-in-anger's band the following
  summer, he learned that the war council had decided to attack that white
  village but not with spears wielded in hand. They set them down on paths,
  near cabin doors, in fields and in place of horses they stole. A red painted
  feather had been tied to each spear handle. A dire warning. Even to white
  skins, they understood that if Indians could have come to their village
  unseen and plant those spears, they could have just as easily thrown them
  in a surprise attack. Brave Sits-on-his-hands reported that within a moon,
  the white village had moved to parts unknown. Not a drop of blood had been
  spilled though nearly three hands of horses had been won in that 'battle'.:

     :They did that because of me?:

     :Yes, love. Good-hide-scraper saw the good in that white youth's heart and
  she convinced others that your People were human beings too.:

     :Owopspec never told me!:

     :He was of mixed minds about it. The blue-coats were decimating his tribe
  and I know that there were terrible moments especially after his father and
  grandfather were slain when my former self regretted taking you to Chief
  Hands-flown-out-in-anger's band to trade that summer.:

     :If I hadn't gone with him and met that old squaw, they would likely have
  rubbed out that white village.:

     :That is so, love. Your life with Bad-eyes and his People though short as
  it was had a greater impact on them for good than you had realized.:

     I'm in awe of learning how Chris was responsible for saving that white
  village. Think of all those children who were given the chance to grow up and
  have children of their own that might not have been otherwise because of him.

     Jesse kisses the back of my neck and he rubs over my hair. I'm softly
  crying, mostly out of relief that Christopher's life had meant something. He
  had made a difference after all.

     My Indian lover slides down to my left side. I turn to Jes for some more
  kisses while feeling a cool sensation between my cheeks.

     :We both have wet butts now, love.:

     I don't remember the moment Jesse seeded me but I'm glad that he's
  fulfilled himself as a man in our love. We kiss for a while. His arms around
  me remind me of Owopspec's when he held me close all night long.


     "All rise for the honorable Judge Sweeney."

     I get to my feet beside my attorney. A black robed figure enters court
  though a side entrance with the shuffling of feet heard behind me. There's
  coughing but otherwise, everyone remains silent. The pews are packed. Most
  are filled with Natives who had raised their right fists to me in a show of
  support when I'd entered earlier. My case is first on the docket.

     It's not the same judge who presided over my arraignment hearing. Long
  blond hair dances about this woman's shoulders and I'm surprised by how young
  she looks. She's a judge? Has to be since this robed woman takes her high
  seat behind an enormous wooden desk.

     "You may be seated," the bailiff announces.

     Everyone sits down. More coughing from somewhere behind me but it ends.

     The bailiff continues. "The Superior Court of Montana is now in session.
  I ask that there be no talking. All cell phones must be turned off. There's
  no reading permitted in court and your full attention is required during
  these proceedings."

     Butterflies are dancing in my stomach from the tension I'm feeling at this
  moment. I didn't catch sight of Winna and Jesse but I know that they're here.
  My lover had Sent me encouragement when I sat down beside Mr. Talbert in the
  front row. Prosecutor Benton and his assistant have already set up at the
  left table. The right one is empty. I suppose that we have to wait to be
  called before taking our seats there.

     The judge looks through a folder in front of her. She takes a full minute
  before looking up. Mr. Benton is then acknowledged. He casts his eyes in my
  direction and I'm shrinking under his scrutiny. I don't like his wolfy eyes.

     "Who's first?" asks Judge Sweeney to her bailiff.

     "The People versus Mike Yager, case number O-6649231 your Honor."

     "Very well. Will that party please come forward."

     Mr. Talbert gets to his feet so I follow him to the defense table. We take
  our seats. He opens a thick folder in front of him and looks up at the judge.

     "Please state your names clearly and slowly spell them," asks the bailiff.

     Everyone does so one at a time: Mr. Benton, his assistant Mr. Laxer, my
  attorney Mr. Talbert and lastly myself. I suppose that's so the court
  reporter will know who we are when he transcribes what we say in court. We're
  sworn in next. No Bible under hands or taking the witness stand like you see
  in the movies to swear to tell the truth. The judge speaks up.

     "Mr. Benton. I understand that you're dropping all charges against the
  defendant at this time..."

     My heart leaps with hope!

     "... save for that indictment."

     "That's so your Honor."

     My heart sinks. It figures. All them other charges were unsupportable by
  the conflicting statements given by Eli Kie, Lt. Scott Danielson, my neighbor
  Mr. Augusten, Jesse, myself and Mr. Cavallero. Only that most serious charge
  remains and I'm guilty of it.

     "Very well. Are you ready to proceed with prosecution, Mr. Benton?"

     "Yes, your Honor. I request that the defendant be formally arraigned on
  the remaining charge."

     "Hasn't the defendant been Served with this indictment through his
  attorney?" the judge asks.

     "Your Honor. I'd like for it to be read out in court."

     I hear the judge sigh. She looks to my attorney who raises no objection.
  I've been trying to Glean things from Mr. Benton but I'm too nervous to learn
  anything. I am suspecting ill from him. He doesn't play by the rules or I
  should say, uses them to strangle his victims after setting out a trap
  through trickery. I'm about to step into one, I think.

     "An indictment for attempted murder of a police officer has been made
  against Mike Yager. That on April 19th, 2003, Mr. Yager allegedly attacked
  Lt. Scott Danielson who was currently serving on the Havre Police force."
  The judge turns to the defendant. "How do you plead?"

     Before I could speak, Mr. Talbert does for me.

     "My client pleads not guilty your Honor."

     Judge Sweeney turns to Mr. Benton who appears very satisfied with himself.
  His trap snaps in my mind.

     "Your Honor. We request that the defendant be remanded without bail."

     "I object your Honor!" shouts Mr. Talbert. "Mr. Yager has already posted
  bail and he stands before you as proof of his good will to attend all trial
  proceedings. Mr. Benton has tried this ploy before but he failed to prove
  that my client is a flight risk."

     "That was for lesser charges that have now been dismissed, your Honor.
  Therefore, the bail held from the defendant should be returned since it holds
  no force against this indictment of attempted murder, technically speaking."

     The judge seems to be considering Mr. Benton's request! It's all legal
  trickery that he's playing at. That original charge of 'assault on a police
  officer' was replaced with a more serious sounding indictment.

     "Prosecution's request is denied," the judge rules. "However, Mr. Benton
  is correct that the bail held for the defendant is not in force towards this
  indictment. If there's no objections, I'll remit the amount... looks like
  $50,000 to be held in bond with the court on this remaining charge against
  the defendant."

     I'm ready for Mr. Benton to ask the judge next to increase my bail like he
  tried that last time but he doesn't. The judge writes something down. My
  attorney has returned to his seat and he gives me a look of exasperation.

     "Anything else?" the judge asks.

     Seems like she's ready to hear motions and Mr. Talbert is about to present
  his. Mr. Benton beats him to the punch.

     "I have a motion your Honor where we ask..."

     "I too have a motion," Mr. Talbert blurts out.

     The judge cuts them both off with her finger pointing in the air. "One at
  a time, gentlemen. No more outbursts! It is your turn, Mr. Talbert."

     "Thank you, your Honor."

     My attorney stands up slowly and grunts as if age wears heavily on him.
  An act on his part. He pauses from speaking to put his thoughts in order.

     "I request that the court grant Mr. Yager a little time so that he can
  hire an attorney to replace me."

     "Are you ill?" the judge asks.

     "Well. I have cancer that has forced me into semi-retirement, your Honor.
  There are good days and bad days. When I took on Mr. Yager's defense, the
  charges against him were such that I believed would have been dismissed
  through lack of evidence and it appears that the prosecutor agrees with me
  when he dropped them today."

     "Your Honor!"

     "Yes, Mr. Benton?"

     "I object. Mr. Talbert is putting words in my mouth."

     "That may be so. Why did you drop all the original charges against the
  defendant at the beginning of my hearing?"

     "To favor that indictment which can be sustained in light of the
  overwhelming evidence against Mr. Yager. By his own mouth, he's admitted
  publicly that he attacked Lt. Scott Danielson who later was murdered in
  his hospital bed by persons unknown though we'll present evidence..."

     "Stop, Mr. Benton. This is not the trial phase." Judge Sweeney turns to
  Mr. Talbert. "Why didn't your client hire another attorney before coming
  before my court?"

     "There was no time, your Honor. I was Served with that indictment on
  behalf of Mr. Yager less than a week ago and frankly, it took me utterly by
  surprise as well as prosecution's rush to go to trial so quickly. I have
  advised Mr. Yager to seek another attorney to properly defend him in this
  matter. This new charge... he needs time to do so."

     "Do you have any objections, Mr. Benton?"

     "No... No, your Honor. My own motion if you'll hear it compliments his in
  that I ask this court for a continuance."

     "And what pray is your motion," the judge asks. "In brief, Mr. Benton."

     "Yes, your Honor. Prosecution asks for a change in venue."

     "For what reason?"

     Mr. Benton turns sideways and he casts a long gaze over the audience. I
  turn my head and see what he sees: the many brown faces, long black hair and
  burning eyes of Blackfoot People crowding the court. He shakes his head in
  dismay and answers the judge.

     "The volatile situation in this town has made for an atmosphere of
  contempt for law enforcement to keep order due to the protests that's been
  enflamed by the media. Their news coverage has been mostly one sided favoring
  the defense. This is a vulnerable time for the Havre Police Department since
  former Captain Bill Ruston won't accept administrative leave for his alleged
  misconduct and violation of procedure. I ask for a change of venue in this
  matter to a place that can provide security and ensure an unbiased jury pool.
  Great Falls comes to mind."

     Judge Sweeney lowers her eyes to a notepad after looking at all the Indian
  faces in her court. She comes to a decision. "I will take your two motions
  under consideration, gentlemen."

     "Thank you, your Honor."

     Mr. Talbert also thanks the judge but he remains standing to wordlessly
  draw attention to himself.

     "Do you have something more to ask?"

     "Yes, your Honor. While Mr. Benton has pointed out the unrest in this town
  and blames the Blackfoot protestors and the media who support their cause, I
  would point out that certain Havre Police Officers are also to blame. That's
  what started all this trouble." Mr. Talbert holds up his hand. "I know. I'll
  save it for the trial phase." He smiles for a moment before continuing.

     "I ask that this court dismiss the indictment against Mr. Yager because
  his civil rights were violated while in police custody..."

     "I strongly object, your Honor!" Mr. Benton shouts.

     "Noted. Now be quiet and let us hear Mr. Talbert finish his motion."

     Man! Mr. Benton is sure fuming about this. I knew that my escape will come
  about since my civil rights had been violated but only if that's proven. I'm
  eager to hear what my attorney has to say about that.

     "Mike Yager surrendered himself to the Havre Police who subject him to
  abuse, your Honor. He was denied water and put in a padded cell without good
  cause where his guard taunted him. After being released on bail, he was
  brought back to the Havre Police station for questioning by Lt. John
  Danielson into his brother's murder without legal representation. This same
  police lieutenant was the one who ordered Mike placed in that hell hole and
  he'd admitted to a fellow officer ah... Officer Weston. Lt. John Danielson
  admitted to Officer Weston that he'd made sure that the video surveillance
  tape showing Mr. Yager being taunted by his guard was 'lost'."

     My lawyer pauses a moment. Mr. Benton is keeping his peace (for once) and
  the judge nods for him to continue.

     "That indictment against Mr. Yager where he allegedly assaulted Lt. Scott
  Danielson? The Grand Jury was not informed of all the circumstances. The
  district attorney's office didn't inform me of that proceeding, that grand
  jury hearing ah... against my client which if I had known was taking place,
  I would have presented this information to them: Lt. Scott Danielson knew
  that Mr. Yager was staying in Mrs. Winnapah's house. When no one was at home,
  he entered it illegally without a search warrant and removed some of the
  defendant's belongings... ah which were later returned to Mr. Yager because
  Captain Ruston determined they had been illegally taken by his officer. When
  Lt. Scott Danielson was discovered in the house ah... that was illegal
  trespass... he charged out with his gun drawn not on the defendant but a
  Native man who held a valuable tribal belonging that Lt. Scott Danielson and
  his associate Eli Kie wanted to have. Mr. Yager acted to defend his friend."

     Mr. Talbert takes a deep breath. "There are other acts of misconduct by
  police officers. The day after Lt. Scott Danielson confronted Mr. Yager and
  his friend, five Havre Policeman forced their way into the Blackfoot shaman's
  home without a search warrant to look for Mr. Yager. This is an example of
  the hostility directed at my client by the police and explains why he
  suffered abuse at their hands while in custody. The Blackfoot Tribal Elders
  took their complaints to the district attorney's office which amongst them
  included the theft of that valuable tribal belonging from the Havre Police
  station's evidence room the shaman had surrendered in the hope of keeping the
  peace. This very belonging was what Lt. Scott Danielson tried to take from
  ah... Mr. Yager's friend after Officer Eli Kie failed to do so earlier that
  day. I have sworn statements from witnesses that contest both of those
  officer's statements where they tried to explain away their attempt to steal
  this Blackfoot belonging at gunpoint, assault, and criminal misconduct."

     "May I speak now, your Honor?"

     "Please do, Mr. Benton. You were good enough to hold your peace."

     "I wanted to hear Mr. Talbert's allegations though many of them are in
  dispute, your Honor. Internal Affairs at the Havre Police Department has
  given me a preliminary report which finds no evidence of their officers
  having committed those civil rights violations against the defendant while he
  was in custody as Mr. Talbert has alleged. They did not happen!"

     "Why didn't you make this report available to defense counsel?"

     "It has only come into my hands this morning, your Honor. Once Mr. Talbert
  reviews it, he'll have no standing on those allegations he's made and then
  the real issue of this court can be addressed. That attempted murder charge."

     My attorney doesn't take that sitting down. He glares at Mr. Benton and
  catches the judge's attention who nods in permission for him to speak.

     "Your Honor. That 'preliminary report' by its own description is not a
  complete finding of the facts. The Havre City Council is conducting their own
  investigation into Internal Affairs where this 'report' was generated. They
  want to know how charges of misconduct on the part of Lt. John Danielson and
  other police officers were ignored by Internal Affairs who about faced by
  placing Captain Ruston on administrative leave for alleged misconduct ah...
  unproven. Lt. John Danielson should have been placed on administrative leave
  instead of being made interim police chief. It's as if Captain Ruston was
  punished for bringing those charges of misconduct against Lt. John Danielson
  and those other officers to the attention of Internal Affairs. Those
  charges... they directly concern my client's civil rights violations while in
  those men's custody. I request that a pretrial hearing be held in this matter
  once the Havre City Council has completed their investigation."

     The judge is considering my attorney's plea. Mr. Benton looks like he's
  about to jump out of his skin but he manages to contain himself. The look in
  his eyes is that of a cat seeing the mouse he's been taunting about to
  escape. I am very hopeful.

     "Gentlemen. I have heard three motions before me all of which ask for a
  continuance to these proceedings though for different reasons. I will take
  them under consideration and make my ruling known on each one in a week.
  We'll meet back here on Monday, May 12th at 10am. Any objections?"

     I don't see any from Mr. Benton or my attorney. A week of reprieve! That's
  sort of a relief and who knows what may be uncovered that will help me.

     Judge Sweeney bangs her gavel. A sigh of relief sweeps around the packed
  courtroom, felt by me most of all.


     Mr. Talbert is driving me back home. It had been a madhouse outside the
  court building when we left. Havre Policemen manned barricades where hundreds
  of Blackfoot protestors stood. They didn't shout. No violence from them. When
  I was rushed down the steps past reporters by my attorney, the People
  silently raised their right fists in a show of support for me. News crews
  recorded it all. Mr. Benton has remained in the courtroom to prosecute his
  next case. Seems like I'm not his only victim today but I've escaped his
  clutches for now.

     "It went well, Mike."

     "Really?" I ask, startled out of my thoughts.

     "I believe that the judge will give you more time to hire a new attorney
  because even Mr. Benton requested a continuance."

     "Yeah. But his motion wants to move my trial down to Great Falls."

     "If proceedings get that far. I'm hoping that the judge will grant a
  pretrial hearing to determine if your civil rights had been violated. If it's
  held and even one of those acts them police officers had committed against
  you is proven, that indictment will be dropped. You'll be free."

     My thoughts are in a flurry. One of them jumps out of my mouth. "What's
  happening with your friend, Captain Ruston? I heard Mr. Benton mention that
  he's not accepting administrative leave."

     Mr. Talbert smiles grimly. "Bill has stepped down from being police chief
  but he's taken his case directly to the Havre City Council. They'd seen him
  on T.V. where he'd made that passionate plea before the Blackfoot People last
  Thursday at the meeting. Those council members had named Lt. John Danielson
  interim police chief but they feel tricked into doing so now. Internal
  Affairs should have put John on administrative leave along with that cell
  guard who taunted you as a matter of course pending the outcome of their
  investigation. They only took a few hours to 'clear' those men of misconduct
  brought to their attention by Captain Ruston where he then himself was put on
  administrative leave for alleged misconduct. It smacks of underhanded
  politics, Mike. I suspect that the D.A.'s office had a hand in that."

     "Mr. Benton, you mean." Another thought strikes me. "How is Mr. Augusten
  and his wife holding up?" My lawyer had sent them into hiding in a motel room
  far from Havre since I feared Eli Kie would go after them. My neighbor's
  statement disputed what that evil man claimed to of happened outside my
  trailer where he attacked Jesse in his grab for the tribe's Power Bundle.

     "They're doing well. I haven't checked up on them for more than a week so
  I hope they've not returned to the trailer park."

     Mr. Talbert gives me a sly grin. I know what he means. Mr. Augusten's wife
  had complained about missing the inside of her trailer and hiding out like
  they were guilty of something when they weren't. That reminds me of something
  else. "Did you speak with Mr. Cavallero?"

     "No reason to. I went above his head to explain the situation to the owner
  of your trailer park. I've informed Mr. Wellington that his manager illegally
  removed belongings from your trailer and then he attempted to have you sign a
  statement exonerating him of that act. You were smart not to."

     "Can I get my stuff back now?" I ask.

     "Any time you want, Mike. You are losing your $200 security deposit for
  the damage done to the trailer though I explained to Mr. Wellington that had
  not been done by you. Also, you didn't give thirty days notice to terminate
  your rental agreement."

     "That's okay." What's $200 to me? I'm sure it'll cost more than that to
  repair them holes Eli Kie had made in the trailer's walls and floors when he
  tried finding that Power Bundle Ron hid. His ghost was guarding over it in
  the bedroom and explains why that Trickster didn't venture in there.

     "Mike. Don't have words with Mr. Cavallero when you get your belongings
  back from him. He may be called to the witness stand on your behalf where
  he'll testify that Lt. Scott Danielson didn't arrest you when taking Ron's
  diary from you. It's important to have this witness dispute the officer's
  statement where he claims you'd 'escaped' his custody that day."

     "Sure." Mr. Talbert turns onto Winding Creek Road and to my dismay, I see
  news vans parked out in front of Winna's house. "Drive on past!"

     "How are you going to get into the house?" asks Mr. Talbert. "Sneak in?"

     "I'm not gonna be home for a while." I Send my thoughts out to Jesse and
  warn him not to return home. I'm suggesting that we go shopping for a few
  hours as I had planned anyway. That'll get them news reporters to cool their
  heels. He agrees. But where to meet?

     :Can your lawyer drive you to Denny's?:

     I'm turning to Mr. Talbert as he crosses over the fishing bridge. "Could
  you drop me off at Denny's so Winna can give me a ride home later? It's the
  one near Wal-Mart."

     "You'd planned on meeting her there? Why didn't you tell me earlier?"

     "Ah. She knows now." I'm given a sharp look by Mr. Talbert but he doesn't
  press me to explain that. He's already seen a glimpse of my power but as a
  white skin, I won't be explaining it to him. Funny, that. I'm a 'white skin'
  too yet I've set my feet on the good red road. That's changed who I am inside
  and I'm a better person because of it.


     Much to Jesse's disappointment, we only met at Denny's but did not eat
  there. My lover wasn't really hungry. He just likes the idea of sitting in a
  booth in that restaurant for some reason. Winna will take us out to eat
  later when we're hungry. I'm certainly not after attending court. My lawyer
  said it wasn't gonna be that eventful. Man! Benton tried getting me back to
  jail. Luckily, the judge allowed my bail to cover that new indictment. I
  swear. If I Glean anything illegal that man has done or if he's abused his
  position as prosecutor, I'll see to it that he joins his victims in prison
  where they can 'thank' the man personally.

     Winna has taken me to Wal-Mart as I've asked. We had to wait for a parking
  spot to open after going around unsuccessfully for ten minutes to find one by
  chance. I can see why this store is so popular. Everything that I wanted to
  get was found in this store: a desktop computer, MS-Office 2003 (so Winna
  can practice Word), a few games Jesse wants to play, color ink jet printer,
  a 'party cards' kit (to print up wedding invitations myself), scanner,
  digital camera (it only comes with a 16 meg memory card that won't hold that
  many pictures at 3 mega pixels resolution so I'm getting a 256 meg card for
  it) and some dress shoes. No one seemed to notice that I'd attended court
  wearing gym shoes! Winna has also gotten herself shoes. I suppose a woman
  can't pass up an opportunity like that. They were on sale.

     :So much stuff, love.:

     Jesse's comment reminds me that I've forgotten to look for wall hangings
  for our bedroom. :It's everything that I need,: I defend. He's clutching
  two computer games. As the thought strikes me to suggest that we don't need
  his 'stuff' in a tease, Jes hides the CD's behind his back with a shy grin.
  We soon reach the cashier clerk.

     "How are you today?" the woman asks.

     "Fine. Here are some expensive 'tags' that I want to buy," in a joke. They
  represent big items like the computer that'll be brought out to me once I've
  paid. She smiles, ringing up each tag along with my pair of shoes, party
  cards kit and that memory card for the camera. Jesse surrenders his computer
  games at the last moment and he gives me a bright grin. 'Ching ching' goes
  the register.

     "Your total comes to $2,840.71 sir."

     I'm handing her my credit card.

     "Do you have a picture I.D.? A driver's license will do."

     I peer down at my wallet with a sinking feeling. I'd surrendered it to the
  DMV when changing my license over to Montana. It hasn't come in the mail yet
  so I'm explaining this to the clerk.

     "I'm very sorry, sir but credit card purchases over $200 requires positive
  identification."

     "Mike. Let me use my credit card," offers Winna. She sets her pair of
  shoes on the counter.

     "No. That's alright," I retort. "My bank isn't that far away so I'll go
  get cash." I'm not wanting her to pay for the computer by not accepting the
  full amount when I pay her back.

     "You'll hold up the line," says Winna. In a lower voice, "We'll go to your
  bank afterwards and you can pay me back for everything."

     When the woman's eyes flare, I realize that she knows what's troubling me.
  I'm nodding in agreement. The clerk accepts Winna's VISA card along with her
  driver's license. They're both swiped in turn through a card reader. That's
  when I notice a magnetic strip on back of her driver's license. Mine from
  Indiana didn't have one but I've not renewed it for over four years.

     "Thanks, Winna." She acts like it's no big deal to be loaning me nearly
  three grand. Then I remember paying off the balance to her house. That had
  nearly cost me $86,000 so my purchases are only pocket change when compared
  to that. We go to the pickup counter in front. Our receipt is presented that
  gets the clerk picking up his phone. I realize that it's gonna take time for
  them to bring up all my purchases. "Can you wait here?" I'm asking Winna.
  "I'll run to the bank now for the cash."

     "You don't have to pay me today, Mike."

     The woman sees my alarmed expression. I'm suspecting she doesn't want me
  to pay for the computer... She isn't thinking of taking no money from me?!

     "Mike. My bill won't come until the end of this month so you have until
  then to pay me. In full."

     Winna stressed those last two words. "Okay. But I might as well go to my
  bank now to get cash for my pocket, too." Paying for my truck's repair and
  insurance had drained my wallet. She nods in agreement and off I run. Jesse
  is trying to keep up with me. I'm slowing to a walk when remember that my
  lover suffers from Marfan's Syndrome. Running is no good for his heart.

     :You worry too much, love. That's only a concern when I get really old."

     Jesse thinks 'old' is when he's forty or so. I peer at this young Indian
  buck thinking how lucky I am to have him for a lover. So cute. Thin. His face
  reveals every emotion that he's feeling which is what drew me to him when I'd
  first seen him in my class.

     :I love you looking at me like that, Mike.:

     My heart bursts with my love for this man and I nearly give him a hug. We
  continue running, our feet in step to the other like our drumming that day.
  I've not beat over one since dropping Running Water's drum to the stage from
  fear and woe when Winna had whisked her son away from me. She'd seen our love
  in each other's eyes. Not accepting it then. I'm shaking my head in awe for
  how far Winna has come since that terrible day. We are like mother and son to
  each other now.

     I'm groaning when we turn a corner and see how long this side of Wal-Mart
  is. The sidewalk beneath our feet seems to go on and on. Jes keeps up with
  me. I slow down some more because we're not in rush to get to my bank. Winna
  will watch over my stuff until our return.


     The teller asks me for a picture I.D. much to my dismay. I need my account
  number but he won't give it to me without 'positive identification'. That's
  becoming a mantra I'm dreading to hear. I've explained my situation but my
  words fell on deaf ears. I'm looking around and spot Mrs. Wong sitting at her
  desk. "I'll be right back." Jesse follows on my heels when I approach the
  woman who had opened my account here.

     "Hello, Mr. Yager."

     I'm smiling in relief since she remembers me. Jesse shyly lowers his eyes
  when the woman greets him. "Mrs. Wong. I need my account number so that I can
  withdraw some cash."

     "You don't have your passbook with you?"

     "I've left it at home. That teller (I'm pointing behind me) says I need a
  picture I.D. like a driver's license but I've given it to DMV when changing
  over to Montana. It hasn't arrived in the mail yet. He won't accept my work
  I.D. which has my picture on it or any of my credit cards to prove who I am."

     "That can be a problem. You can withdraw up to $400 using your bank card
  at most ATM stations."

     "No. I need more than that. Three thousand dollars."

     Mrs. Wong sadly shakes her head. "I'm sorry, Mr. Yager. Even if you had
  your account number, positive identification is needed for withdrawing that
  much cash. It's for your own protection."

     "Can I see the bank manager, please?" I'm barely keeping my cool. Jesse
  chides me to just forget it but I remain resolute to speak with someone. The
  woman strides over to an office with a glass door. She enters, and I see her
  explaining my situation to a man. He stands up from his desk and comes out to
  see me. A short white guy in a suit. Heavy set. I guess him to be in his
  fifties from the severe balding to his head and he has a haggard looking face
  as if from peering over figures for too many hours.

     "Hello, Mr. Yager. I'm Ted Stevenson, the bank manager." Turning to his
  new accounts employee, "Mrs. Wong has told me that you want to withdraw three
  thousand dollars. I'd like to oblige you but without your account number and
  an acceptable form of identification..."

     I'm releasing a frustrating groan to what he's said. The man's stubby arms
  spread in the air with his hands withdrawing from his long jacket sleeves in
  a gesture of 'I cannot help you'. "I hear what you're saying. I'm a nobody
  unless I have the right number in my head and plastic in my hand." What I've
  said reminds me of a passage in Revelations. This last book in the Bible had
  prophesied that in the End of Days 'no one can buy or sell unless he has the
  Beast's number in his head or in his hand'. Sure fits my situation. I'd seen
  that magnetic strip on back of Winna's driver's license. Her VISA card too
  where a long string of numbers are encoded to identify her to a computer. My
  eyes widen in revelation. The Beast!

     Without saying another word, I turn from Mr. Stevenson and Mrs. Wong and
  leave the bank. Jesse touches my arm.

     :Are you alright, love?:

     I stop in my tracks and turn to my lover. I've been holding my breath and
  release it trembling from my mouth. Our eyes meet. I'm trying to smile in
  assurance but my lips remain a tight line digging into my cheeks.

     :I Felt your fear, Mike. Who is the Beast?:

     I'm automatically making that warding off gesture to evil with my hand.
  Jes does the same and we look around uneasily. I take a deep breath but I
  won't utter the Beast's name out loud. :The Bible forewarns his coming where
  he brings destruction and death to our world. He's the antichrist. 666.:

     :Not that man!?:

     He's referring to Mr. Stevenson. "Of course not!" I blurt out. A woman
  walks past us while pulling on the hand of a rebellious little girl behind
  her. I'm turning back to my lover. :I was reminded about Revelations after
  saying what I did to that man in anger.:

     :You are a hot head sometimes.:

     That has me smiling a little. :Yeah. It seems like I'll be returning to
  Winna empty handed.:

     :Not so, love.:

     To my surprise, Jesse takes my left hand in his own. I want to pull away
  so people won't see us and know that we're gay but I'm unable to reject my
  lover's need to comfort me. I need that right now. We start walking back the
  way we came.


     The back of Winna's pickup is loaded up. A Wal-Mart employee assisted us
  with carrying out boxes containing the computer, monitor, accessories, the
  printer and scanner while the smaller items were tucked behind our seat in
  the truck. I'm worried about eating out that will leave the truck unguarded.
  Winna suggested that we buy fast food and bring it home. I asked about that
  chicken place she frequents since I really liked their food.

     I've withdrawn $400 cash from an ATM using my Indiana bank card. That's
  for my pocket. When my new Montana driver's license comes in the mail, I'll
  go to my bank and withdraw cash to pay Winna back. Jesse Asked me to keep my
  cool when I return to the bank and not close my account with them. They are a
  necessary evil and even the Blackfoot Tribe keeps accounts with banks instead
  of stashing money in saddle bags or burying it in the ground my lover teased.
  That reminded me about what I'd Gleaned from Binds-his-post when needing his
  password to that Blackfoot Registry site so Running Water and I could get
  phone numbers to the People and rally them to Jesse's protest. That man had
  unwittingly revealed that he and Elder Rides-a-fiery-horse are taking bribes
  from the oil companies and embezzling money from the tribal accounts they
  manage. I need to inform Quiet-before-the-dawn about that.

     The smell of roast chicken in the truck is making my mouth water. Jes is
  holding several bags in his lap that also contains sides: potato salad, corn
  on the cob and biscuits. After lunch, our afternoon will be spent setting up
  the new computer and printing our wedding invitations. Time is pressing to
  get them mailed out to family and friends. A professional service would take
  several days to have them ready and I fear word could leak out from them that
  the shaman's grandson is 'marrying' a guy. My name is too well known in this
  town as it is.

     :Everyone will eventually learn about us,: Says Jesse.

     :Yeah. I'd rather they find out gently such as Brings Wood whispering in
  some ears. She'll know what to say. Harsh gossip would portray me as taking
  advantage of Winna's 'innocent' son and make it that much more difficult for
  us to prove otherwise. Hey. You're were Peeking in my head again!: I scold.

     :Not really. Your thoughts are so loud that I can't help but Hear them
  sometimes. Who should we invite?:

     I'm taking a deep breath... ah. That chicken smells so good! Jes nudges me
  in the ribs to remind me about his question. :We'll make a list and then I'll
  know how many cards to print out.:

     :You can really do that?: Asks Jesse.

     :Sure. We'll use that color printer connected to your computer. The
  'party cards' kit contains sheets of ivory cardstock and a program on CD to
  help me create our invitation. It's then just a matter of printing cards,
  folding them and stuffing envelopes. Our wedding will only be two weeks away
  by the time people receive our invites in the mail.: I'm snapping my fingers
  in dismay. :We'll have to go to the post office tomorrow for the stamps. I'd
  forgotten to buy some.:

     :My mom has a whole roll.:

     Jesse and I peer at each other. He gives me a shy grin that turns to an
  expression of happiness at the thought of people witnessing our marriage. I'm
  smiling too yet it's also a bit scary. Will everyone we invite (my mom, dad
  and sister comes to mind) be happy for us and accept that two guys can pledge
  themselves in such a holy ceremony reserved for straight couples?

     Winna turns onto Winding Creek Road. She slows down when approaching a
  police car that's blocking the street. Its yellow lights are flashing. We
  must be recognized since he pulls out of our way. We turn into our driveway.
  Parked at the curb is a black pickup truck. Dirt-brought-up-in-his-hand gets
  out to meet us.

     Jes and I raise our right hands in greeting to this man. His face looks
  strained. I'm looking past and notice metal barriers have been set up along
  the sidewalk in front of Winna's house and some of her neighbors. Way beyond
  that is a line of news vans parked beyond another patrol car blocking the
  street. Reporters are streaming out of them like ants.

     "Get into the house," warns Dirt-brought-up-in-his-hand.

     'The enemy approaches,' I gesture with my hands. The man grimly nods. He
  looks at the back of Winna's truck.

     "I'll unload that for you."

     "Thanks. There's stuff behind the seat as well."

     "Mr. Yager! May I ask you some questions..."

     Winna is running to the house with Jes and me following. When I dare to
  look back, two policemen are stopping reporters from going beyond the metal
  barriers erected along the front sidewalk. We make our escape into the house.
  Our door is kept ajar so Dirt-brought-up-in-his-hand can bring in all them
  boxes for us. We remove our jackets and shoes in the front hall. Reporters
  are heard shouting my name but their attention turns to our guardian. He
  enters unscathed with a big box in his hands. It's the computer monitor.

     "Where do you want me to put this?" asks Dirt-brought-up-in-his-hand.

     I'm turning to Winna.

     "The front room, please."

     The man does so. He makes several more trips to Winna's truck. She's gone
  into the kitchen with Jesse carrying them bags from Chicken Bowl. I thank
  Dirt-brought-up-in-his-hand when everything has been brought inside.

     "I'm glad that the police are keeping them reporters away," comments
  Dirt-brought-up-in-his-hand.

     "Yeah... yeah. But I think they're doing so in their own best interest.
  The police are afraid that I'll say something against them while Lt. John
  Danielson is under investigation by the city council."

     "You aren't going to be talking to reporters, are you?"

     "No. My lawyer advised me not to." Winna comes into the front room.

     "Would you like to have lunch with us?"

     "I've already eaten, thank you. Let me get back out there since Charlie
  will be relieving me soon."

     "Have the police given you any flack about letting you past their road
  block?" I ask.

     "I was already parked out front of the house when their two patrol cars
  arrived to block both sides of the street. From a truck, they unloaded metal
  barriers and set them along the sidewalk to keep reporters off the property."

     "Well. When Charlie arrives, tell the police that he's guarding over
  Winna's house if they stop him. He can park in the driveway if he wants."

     "I will. The police already know about us coming to watch over you, I'm
  suspecting. They haven't approached me or caused any trouble." The man smiles
  grimly. "Except for them reporters. Do you know that there are five news vans
  out there?"

     Wow. Why such interest in little ol' me? Then I remember. There's a power
  struggle going on in this town between the Blackfoot, police department, D.A.
  and the Havre City Council. I'm in the middle of all that. Winna returns to
  the kitchen after saying farewell to Dirt-brought-up-in-his-hand. I do so
  too before the man leaves to assume guard duty. I've watched him through the
  front window. Two policemen also 'patrol' the front sidewalk though the
  reporters have since returned to their vans. I hope they give up and leave!

     Winna has set the kitchen table. After washing my hands (Jes reminded me),
  I sit down in my stool and we silently eat the chicken and sides. A glass of
  milk is beside my plate. I give the woman my grin of thanks for remembering.
  Jesse eats drumsticks. I'm favoring breasts while Winna goes for thighs and
  the wings. The corn cobs are smothered in butter. Everything is so yummy! We
  soon finish lunch with Jesse and I clearing off the table for his mom. She
  heads for the back of her house. Not to retire to her bedroom; she goes out
  the back door that leads to her garden and the garage.

     "Is your mom alright?" I've noticed her distress at the situation in front
  of her house. I nearly told her that I'm sorry about all that several times
  while we were eating but I couldn't bring myself to do so. The woman knows
  that it's not my fault.

     "She going out for some fresh air," answers Jesse. "Whenever my mom is
  troubled, she'll works in her garden or just sits to look at the trees
  beyond. We should leave her alone."

     After the dishes are set to dry in the rack, Jes races towards the front
  room to open boxes as if it were Christmas morning. I eagerly join him. The
  task of setting up the computer is left to him. Winna has already cleared off
  a wooden desk for our use, Jesse informs me. I'm concerned about scratching
  its surface so a towel is put under the keyboard. The mouse pad is set beside
  it. Beneath this desk, the CPU (computer) is placed along with the printer.
  I've asked my lover to let the scanner be for now. It's not needed for the
  task at hand this afternoon.

     "Everything is color coded," remarks Jesse.

     Without even referring to that guide poster included with the computer,
  Jes figures out how to connect the monitor, keyboard, mouse, and speakers to
  the CPU. He's smiling like a little kid playing with a new toy.

     "Where is the printer cable?"

     We're both looking for it in the boxes but I'm realizing that a USB cable
  has to be purchased separately. I'd forgotten to do so at Wal-Mart. "I have
  one in my laptop bag." Because my computer is portable, I've kept one in
  there to print out code at work or when I'm at home. Hmm. There are four
  plugs laying in a neat row under the desk. When I look behind it, there's a
  wall outlet but only for two of those plugs. "Do you have a bus bar?"

     "What's that?"

     I Send an image of it to Jesse's head. His eyes light up in reply when
  he knows where one can be found in the kitchen cabinet. He'd seen his dad use
  it to plug in all his power tools when working on a project at home. That had
  been done in the laundry room and explains why it was such a mess. All that
  stuff has been put in the garage by Jes and me when we cleaned it out for his
  mother so she wouldn't have to be reminded about her husband.

     We return to the front room after fetching the USB cable and bus bar. Jes
  completes all the connections with much anticipation. I help him load the ink
  cartridges in the printer. He's sitting in a chair while I'm beside him over
  a stool. "Okay. Turn it on." He does so. The monitor displays the start up
  logo while lights flash from the computer sitting below the desk at his feet.
  How my lover's eyes light up. I'm Feeling his joy for having his own computer
  to play, ah... I mean work on.

     :I will run your programs to improve my English skills before having my
  'dessert',: promises Jesse.

     Those two computer games my lover picked out are sitting on a shelf in the
  computer desk: Frogger, and a collection of Arcade Game Classics. They didn't
  come in a fancy box but sold for a mere $9.99 each. That's what happens to
  computer software at the end of their sales life. A drop in price (Frogger
  had started at $39.95) and it's packaged in a mere jeweled case. Those three
  educational titles I'm receiving Royalties to began their sales life for
  schools last year but with them new distribution agreements the Learning Tree
  Company has signed with retailers like Best Buy, Costco and Wal-Mart, they'll
  reach more people but burn out and quick and hard. More money will be earned
  in a faster period of time before the market is saturated. Dianne assured me
  that my January 2004 Royalty check will be much larger than expected. I can
  hardly wait to see that.

     :How do I answer this question?: Asks Jesse.

     I'm looking at his screen. Windows XP is going through an initial set up.
  :We don't want the computer to help us with Internet connectivity at this
  time. Click the left circle beside 'No'.: He does so then clicks Next.

     :My computer won't have Internet?:

     :It will once I install my ISP browser software and get an antivirus
  program to protect your computer. That will be for another day.:

     After the computer gets 'named' and tests the speakers, it comes up to the
  desktop. I'm opening the Office 2003 software box and hand Jesse the CD. He
  knows how to put it in the drive because he's been working with computers at
  school. The installation program is started. My lover is slow to pluck out
  the letters and numbers to the software 'key'. :I'll need to teach you how
  to touch type, my love.:

     :Can't I just shake my medicine rattle at it to type for me?:

     I'm laughing. :You can try but until you're a big medicine man with
  awesome powers, your hands will have to do once they've been trained.:

     :You type so fast on the keyboard!: remarks Jesse in awe.

     :I've had lots of practice.: Sad, that. These last six years of my life
  were wasted making 'love' to computers. They didn't return the feeling.

     MS-Office is gonna take a while to install Word, Excel and all them other
  business programs on the computer so Jes and I work on a list of all the
  People we're gonna invite to our wedding. He begins with Running Water. Next
  comes that man's parents. Hawk Flying Over, One-white-horse and Charlie
  quickly follow. I'm reminding my lover about those who've guarded our house
  like Dirt-brought-up-in-his-hand. He adds more names to our list. I'm only
  gonna invite my parents, my sister and her husband, and Dianne for my part.
  Everyone else who's been in my life before coming to Montana would make me
  feel uncomfortable to invite. Most of my friends are at work. They don't know
  I'm gay but my manager has told me she'd suspected, only revealing that to
  me after I explained why I'll not be returning to work for her because I'm
  staying with Jesse. Dianne was so accepting. She is happy for me and that's
  why I want her to attend our wedding if she can.

     Between Jes and me, we come up with a list of about fifteen people. Hmm.
  Doesn't seem like a lot but we both agree that it'll make for a more intimate
  marriage party. I'm opening the 'Party Cards' box and hand its installation
  CD to my lover. On his own, he's able to get it set up on the computer. I'm
  motioning for him to give up his chair to me.

     I'm cracking my fingers then start the Party Cards Maker program. It'll
  work with different card formats and sizes (sold separately) so I'm entering
  in the template code for the fifty sheets that came in our box. A blank card
  appears on my screen. My fingers are trembling over the keyboard. Man! I've
  only been to one wedding in my life (my sister's) but that had been years ago
  so I'm drawing a blank as to what the wording had been on her invitation.

     :It should just say how it is,: suggests Jesse. :That you and me are in
  love and we want our guests to witness our pledge to each other with our
  Father's blessing.:

     :You're right.: Jes leans over for a kiss and I'm gladly giving him one.
  :Grandfather is gonna perform our ceremony at a sacred place in the
  reservation but I don't know where. We need that for the invitation so people
  will know where to attend.:

     :How about we meet at the Chinook Community Center?: suggests Jesse.
  :That way, grandfather can lead us to his special place he intends to go.:

     Jesse and I work on the wording to our invitation. We've decided not to
  actually use terms like 'marriage' or 'wedding' in it but people will know
  what we mean. This is what we've come up:

                                   Jes-ee-ah
                          Son of Looks-from-mountain
                                      and
                                Mike Short Hair
                             Son of Michael Yager

            knowingly that we have chosen God's will for our lives,
            invite you to join us when we receive our Father's blessing
            as we pledge ourselves in love and commitment to one another.
            This will be at Noon on Saturday, May 24th, 2003, where our
            Inspired One, He-who-runs-up-mountains shall designate. We will
            all meet at 11 AM at the Chinook Community Center, Montana, and
            go as a group to the site. Afterwards, we will return to the
            Center for our reception.

            Please respond by May 19th.
            (406) xxx-xxxx

     Jesse and I stare at the computer screen for more than a minute. That's
  when it really hits us. We turn to each other and embrace in the utter joy of
  having found each other... again. Little did I know that my coming to Havre
  would accomplish this. I've always dreamed of meeting an Indian warrior but
  it's turned out to be someone whom I'd loved in a former life yet unlike
  Chris and Owopspec, we will be wed in front of witnesses. Already though,
  we are Joined in our minds, hearts and Share one spirit.

     "That looks very nice," whispers Winna.

     We separate from each other teary eyed to smile at our mom. "You think so?
  I'm not sure about this line..." and point out the word 'designates' that
  bothers me for sounding cold and technical. She ponders for a moment.

     "Why not make that two sentences instead?" suggests Winna. "They could be
  worded: 'This will be at Noon on Saturday, May 24th, 2003. Our Inspired One,
  He-who-runs-up-mountains, will preside and the ceremony shall occur at a
  sacred place.'"

     Jes and I peer at each other and come to an agreement. I'm making those
  changes in the text. The 'party cards' sheets are already loaded in the
  printer tray but I place a white sheet of paper in front of them for a test
  print. What comes out are a pair of invitations (two cards per sheet).
  Scissors are used to separate them then I fold it three times so our names
  appear outside at the top and opening the card will reveal the wording to our
  invitation. I've used an Edwardian Script to make the lettering fancy. Winna
  is handed one for review.

     "Looks good," she comments.

     "Can you make the letters brown or must it print in black?" asks Jesse.

     I know why he's asked that. A Blackfoot wedding 'announcement' is done
  with the People standing in a circle around the happy couple who face each
  other. Their Inspired One takes his holy stick and draws a circle around them
  in the brown dirt. He holds their shoulders, looking up to make his plea unto
  our Father for His blessing. That was in the old days. Grandfather has
  already sought His blessing upon us as a couple but I can reproduce part of
  that announcement ritual by printing our invitations in brown ink as Jesse's
  asked. I make that change in our card.

     Winna asks, "Are you able to fill in the corners with... flowers or other
  wedding symbols to enrich your invitation?"

     She's looking at the party cards kit box that shows examples of balloons
  and presents livening up a birthday card. I'm nodding. The clip art library
  is pulled up on my screen and under the category for weddings, Jes and I look
  for something appropriate for our invitation. We decide on several graphics.
  A sun casting down yellow rays (to represent our Father's Light upon us), two
  doves flying towards each other with a long ribbon held in their beaks
  forming the upper part of a heart and two touching red hearts. I'm setting
  these graphics in appropriate places in our card.

     I use an actual cardstock sheet to print with. When it comes out of the
  printer, a simple vertical fold along its middle and a tug on the perforation
  separates the two cards from each other. I'm folding twice. One card is given
  to Winna for her inspection while my lover and I look at ours.

     "It's very beautiful," says Winna with her voice breaking up.

     Jes and I give our mom a hug. Tears are also in our eyes from happiness.
  I've always wanted this but being gay had me thinking it couldn't happen
  between two guys. My lover completes that missing half to myself and I in
  turn complete him. Our special bond isn't the cause of this though it does
  enhance our connection. We chose each other as Mike and Jesse before that
  Power Bundle's spirit dwelled in us and we learned of our former selves. It's
  nice that Winna accepts that we're a couple. She is important in our lives
  not only for her son but I'm growing more dependent on her as well.


     Jesse is printing out our invitations while he hand addresses the
  envelopes going to his family and friends. Winna insisted on using her return
  mailing label to be stuck on back. This is her way of letting everyone know
  that she's given us her approval. I'm in the bedroom drafting letters to my
  parents, my sister and Dianne that will be put into their envelopes with an
  invitation. It's difficult writing for me to explain why I've chosen Jesse
  to be with for the rest of my life so my parents and sister will understand
  and be happy for me. Dianne's letter is easier to write. I only hope that she
  can get away from her busy work schedule to fly up to Montana on two weeks
  notice to attend. Maybe I should call her.

     Once my three letters are drafted and saved to my laptop's hard drive, I'm
  carrying it into the front room. Jes has completed his task. A neat stack of
  ivory envelopes lie at his right knee. We exchange grins. I'm installing the
  printer drivers onto my laptop then connect the USB cable. They're printing
  my letters while I hand address my three envelopes. Winna's return label is
  already affixed on back.

     :I'll ask mom for some stamps,: Says Jesse.

     I'm nodding, inserting my letters along with our invitation into each
  envelope. My lover Asks if he can lick them closed. This is his little way to
  send part of himself, for luck, to my family in the hope that they'll come
  out to attend our ceremony. We soon complete our joyous task.

     Jesse starts exploring his new computer. There's not much loaded onto it
  yet. "Why don't you install your games?"

     "Can I?"

     "Sure. You can start practicing your English skills tomorrow after I've
  installed my educational programs. I'll buy a typing program for you. In a
  month, you'll be using all your fingers to type instead of just plucking."
  Jes eagerly tears off the shrink wrap to his Arcade Game Classics CD. He
  loads it in his computer. I look over his shoulder to offer any assistance
  but he's a smart kid... ah, I mean man. He starts playing Ms. Pac-man.

     During the next hour, both of us get absorbed into trying out all the
  arcade games on this CD. Wow. There's like over fifty of them! Some are hard
  to play using only the keyboard. I promised Jes that I'll get a joystick for
  his computer and he kissed me in thanks.

     Winna has come to sit in her comfort chair. I didn't notice her arrival
  into the room until the tiny hairs lifted at the back of my neck. Jesse has
  ended up sitting in my lap. That just sorta happened after we switched chairs
  a bunch of times to take turns in front of the computer. I don't feel too
  uncomfortable that she's watching us. However, my kisses to her son's neck
  end 'cause... well.

     The TV is switched on. Winna watches a program that's about out of control
  teens having sex who are confronted by their parents. It's more sensationalism
  than actual 'counseling' to draw viewer interest. I try not thinking about a
  certain Indian boy who Running Water, Jesse and I have introduced to sex.
  My attention shifts between playing computer games and listening to the
  program. The only real advice given is for teens to simply stop themselves.
  Yeah, sure. That's really gonna work after eating of the 'forbidden fruit'.

     Someone is knocking on the front door. Winna goes to answer it but I lift
  Jesse from my lap since he we don't know who has come. In a tease, my lover
  traces the outline of a bulge in the front of my jeans. I reach back for the
  seat of his pants and poke between his cheeks. :You're asshole is probably
  wide open in want for me to fill it.:

     :Let's go to our bedroom and find out!:

     I'm Sensing such desire in Jesse for me to fuck him. I want his ass bad!
  Before we can make good our escape, Elder Quiet-before-the-dawn comes into
  the front room with Winna following after. I see the tense expression on his
  face. He's pulling out an envelope from his inside jacket pocket.

     "Greetings to you, Jes-ee-ah. Short Hair. Could you please let me speak
  with Winna alone?"

     I'm staring at the letter held close to the old man's chest. My thoughts
  race as to what it could be... another trick coming from Eli Kie?! It's too
  small to hold many sheets of paper such as in Ron's diary zerox. I get no
  Sense of evil from it. When I dare to Glean from Quiet-before-the-dawn, it's
  like hitting a brick wall. Nothing. Jesse is pulling on my hand that gets me
  out of the room. He's picked up on the Elder's mood as well so we linger in
  the kitchen. Not close enough to hear their voices but if called for, we can
  come running.

     I sit over a stool and slap my thighs for Jesse to sit on me but he
  remains standing, often turning in the direction of the front room with a
  worried expression on his face. I'm going to my troubled lover. My arms wrap
  around his slim form with my hands locking over his chest. I'm nearly holding
  most of his weight against me as if from fainting. :Have you Seen something?:

     :No, love.:

     :What do you think that letter is?:

     :I don't know. You've seen the Elder's face and how grim he looked. It's
  bad news. That's why he asked to see my mom alone.:

     I'm Sensing my lover's fear that it has something to do with Ron. Somehow,
  it's been found out and Quiet-before-the-dawn is informing his mother. :I've
  not Sensed evil from that letter the Elder is holding. Nothing could I Glean
  from him to let me know what's going on.:

     :He's Protected,: Answers Jesse. :Those who walk in the Light and are
  pledged to serve the People are. My grandfather has bestowed this upon them.:

     :It was wrong of me to have tried Gleaning an Elder.: I'm lifting my eyes
  unto Him and ask forgiveness. In the next moment, I hear Winna's loud wailing
  that sends a shudder through both of us! Jes tears out of my arms to race
  towards his mother. I'm following on his heels. We enter the front room where
  Elder-quiet-before-the-dawn is trying to console the woman. She pushes
  against his arm, shaking her head violently and sobbing. A letter is tightly
  clutched in her hand.

     "Mom! What's wrong?"

     Winna opens her arms to Jesse and clutches her son really tight. The
  Elder and I exchange uneasy glances. From her right hand, that letter falls
  to the coffee table face up.

     "She's dead!" cries Winna. "My sister is dead... but... Judy has a son who
  survives her! A boy... named Jake."

     Mother and son continue to clutch each other in their moment of grief.
  I'm feeling left out. My eyes automatically go to that letter and when the
  Elder nods in approval, I'm crouching over the coffee table to read it.


            R O S E B U D   I N D I A N   M I S S I O N   S C H O O L

                              Rosebud, South Dakota
                              ---------------------
                       Established by the Society of Jesus
                                      1973

            April 30, 2003

            Blackfoot Nation
            Chinook, Montana 59523

            Dear Tribal Representative:

               I am writing to request your assistance in locating
            the next-of-kin for one of our students, Jake Marques,
            age sixteen years. He was admitted into our school when
            he was five years of age by his mother, Judy, whom we
            have recently learned died in 1998. This news has had a
            great impact on Jake who has had no contact with her
            since she left him in our care.

               We do not have any contact information regarding the
            boy's father, Miguel Marques, who we believe is a Mexican
            National. It is not likely that he will be found.

               I am writing this letter to the Blackfoot Nation
            because Judy listed an older sister named "Winnapah" who
            resided at that time in Havre, Montana, according to
            Jake's admission records. No maiden name was given for
            this woman. It is not much information, I know, but I
            hope that with your help, we will be able to locate
            Jake's aunt and possibly other family members. I am
            enclosing a photograph of Judy with her son. This
            photograph was taken by our school social worker in 1992
            when Judy left Jake with us. At the time this photograph
            was taken Judy was twenty-two and Jake was five.

               If you are able to identify with certainty who Judy's
            sister is or are able to contact Jake's father, Miguel
            Marques, I ask that this letter be given to either of
            them. It will help Jake to know that he has family to
            turn to in this time of grief.

               My phone number is given below. I would very much like
            to talk with either Ms. Winnapah or Mr. Marques as soon
            as possible.

                                 Yours sincerely in Christ,

                                 Rev. Sean McMillan, SJ, Headmaster
                                 Rosebud Indian Mission School
                                 (605) xxx-xxxx

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