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* "NEW TO TEACHING LOVE" *
* (part 5) *
* by Vince Water January 31, 2005 *
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| Copyright 2005-2006 by Vince Water Corrected 4/06 |
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My legs spread apart with the raising of my knees. Running Wolf grasps my
opening thighs and lowers his face to my butt. I feel him tonguin' over my
hole. A gasp comes out of me. He's stickin' inside, spitting, with lots of
swirling from his tongue deep inside my butt. It's gettin' my cock hard.
The man pulls away. He scoots forward on his knees and lifts my legs over
his shoulders. I'm lookin' down to where our bodies will connect. His
deerskin flap covers his dick. My flap also hides mine from sight though I
can see the bulge from my hard on in the firelight. He leans over me. With
his left hand, the man directs himself into my butt. A hardness presses
against my hole... goes in. I'm breathing real hard when feeling him slippin'
all the way in me. It ain't too painful. Just never performed Indian love
this way.
Running Wolf has his hands all over my chest. I know he likes my hair an'
all. A stab is given to my butt. I'm gasping from the sensation. Ahhh! This
Indian can sure stick his cock far in me. I'll be sure to show my lover this
new way of doin' it together. I'd want to feel him this deep in my ass.
My shoulders are grasped. A firm beat is set by this man that'll get him
to release in my asshole. He says that an Arrow will get put in me. Maybe
that's so but by lettin' him vent his lust, he'll leave me be. I'll high
tail it back to Owopspec and tell him what happened. Maybe only after I do
his butt just to be sure of Passing this man's arrow into him like he wants.
'I have told you that is my intent, Kris but you still don't believe. This
is what sets you apart from the People. More than from your white skin and
the ideas your People have filled your head with.' Running Wolf grows sad.
'They're coming into our lands like an army of termites. Taking without
asking. You've seen this with your own eyes, the horrors of war that comes
from hatred. Our ways are peaceful and in harmony with the All. Open yourself
all the way, Kris. You're so close to coming over to us.'
I've got my butt open as far as I can! He's really sticking me good now.
Guilt fills me. I'm knowin' what he meant and I have been trying to be a
Blackfoot Indian. They've initiated me a brave yet there's no denying that
many of 'em don't accept me as one of them. Especially 'cause I'm with
Good-eyes who they expected to have a squaw in his arms instead of a boy. It
feels so right to us. Our shaman really didn't want to marry us? That's real
sad. I thought he was comin' around to that notion.
Ahh! I'm feelin' a stiffening to this man's cock in me. His hands are
surging over my shoulders when he bucks my ass real good. My butt is lifted
from the ground mat. I'm hanging onto his arms but my hands often slip 'cause
of his sweat. We share breath with our faces being so close. I ain't gonna be
kissing him. Almost did. He's making me feel real intense. That gets my cock
surging when his hard knob hits into some'm sensitive in my ass. I've felt
Owopspec's cock doin' that to me sometimes.
Moans are coming out of this Indian. Kinda like humming. A chill runs down
my spine. He is performing a ritual as he said. I'm feelin' Power building in
him that's more than the expected male explosion. I can't explain how I know.
Just do. Both my hands slip from the man's arms. I rush them around his
humping butt to make sure he'll Pass himself into me at the end.
Running Wolf growls out. I'm feelin' his strong gush into my asshole with
a blinding Light filling my eyes. Is that me crying out?
We're a pile of heated flesh clinging to each other. His breaths blow hot
against my neck. My legs have fallen to the man's waist with my left foot
snagged in his thong belt. My heel presses into his sweaty cheek. God! I'd
love to take my turn in his ass. My cock is so stiff that it's a pain. The
Power he's put in me really needs to come out or I'll explode!
'Go to your warrior, Kris. Fulfill my rite so that he may live long enough
to serve the People.'
Running Wolf is gasping for breath. He couldn't have spoken but for him
Speaking in my head. I'll gladly do my lover. My body can't hold what this
Indian has given me for too long. Such power!
The weight of his body lifts off me. My right hand is pulled on to get me
to my feet. I'm barely able to stand. I have an arm around his waist so I
won't fall down. Man! My butt sure hurts something fierce.
Running Wolf's hand is felt over my cheeks. A warmth is coming from it.
The aching fades from my rear end but in front of me, I'm feeling such a
powerful need to come out so I try turning this Indian 'round to stick him.
He's had his way with my ass.
'No, Kris. Give your love to Good-eyes as I've asked. And forget...'
I'm staggering into the tipi. My stomach don't bother me no more but I got
such an aching from my dick! I search for Owopspec in the dark. On my knees,
my hands reach over to where we've set up our ground mat. It's found. A leg
comes into my hand. I follow it up to a covered butt. What? Oh. That's gotta
be Wind-go-through-his-hair. I'm reaching over the youth and find my lover.
He's laying on his right side facing the boy. I rush to my feet and step
around the mat while snapping my thong belt from my waist. I lay down behind
the warrior. He stirs in my arms and flinches when my cock is driven into his
butt. Ahhh. I'm really needin' to pass my love to him right now!
"Kris?"
My hands lock over the Indian's chest. It seemed like he's wanting to turn
to me or somethin'. "Lay still. I'm needin' you right now. Okay?"
"Kit-a issa-ak sik iih?"
It takes me a moment to understand what my lover has asked. He's wondering
why I'm so wild. I must have forgotten myself by speaking in English. My cock
stabs him again before I revert into Siksika. "I love you! Let me give it to
you..." My voice was trembling.
Owopspec's hand reaches back for my butt. I'm driving hard into his with a
need I've never felt before. A heaviness presses down over us. That hasta be
Wind-go-through-his-hair. He's pulling on my left arm. I'm bringing it around
the boy's back without pausing from sticking my lover. Such power in my cock!
I need it to come out but that doesn't happen fast enough. A small hand joins
the man's over my flexing ass.
"Your fiery display is getting me real excited, Kris!" says the boy.
"I'll get my turn when you're done."
I ignore the youth's boast. He's already given this man Indian love 'cause
this butt is sure feelin' slippery. My cock stabs in and out with ease.
Owopspec tightens his asshole. Ahhh! He pulls harder over my butt. My mouth
gasps for air but his long hair gets sucked in instead. I'm turning my face
upwards to breathe. Something presses against my lips. The boy kisses me.
Love bursts in my heart for both of them when I return his tender expression
for me. I'd taught him that. I'm forced to pull my face back for a breath
but the boy's lips find me again with kisses. My cock plows through the
man's ass.
A wondrous Light fills my eyes. It's getting brighter and brighter until...
Ahhh! Something mite powerful Passes into my lover from me. My relief is
tremendous as if my body were an over filled water skin that was gonna burst.
I've been joyfully emptied.
My body is so weary. The boy in my arm slips down between us, shoving me
back a ways. My left hand falls to his waist. I'm tightening my fingers
around the youth's rear flap, my knuckles feeling the humping to his butt
when taking his turn with my lover. Our lover. Owopspec grunts out. A smile
comes to my lips because I know how much he likes successive mountings of his
ass. I've seen up to four needing braves doing him at one standing after
they've watched me perform Indian love by the river. Before battle, warrior
Good-eyes takes his turn sticking into his braves to pass his medicine to
them. I'm no longer jealous to witness that. The love in his heart is only
for me and Wind-go-through-his-hair. A love that will last us forever.
The boy cries out in his high-pitched voice. Owopspec's moaning joins into
that lusty male chorus. I'm glad to hear their joy while the afterglow of
my male relief fades from me. Will that Power I've passed to my lover protect
this youth as well? Hmm. Where did that strange thought come from?
My arms go around them both. I'm breathing in the nice smell that comes
from sexual exertion. A mixture of sweaty bodies and male sweetness. My body
also reeks of it. I've returned to breathing normally. My eyes close. Sleep
takes me like a thief in the night...
An unexpected softness is felt against my butt. I open my eyes. Carpeting?
Charms A Bird smiles knowingly at me. I've returned to myself as Short Hair.
"Now you remember."
I'm shyly nodding my head. Running Wolf's Power Arrow had been Passed
through me to Owopspec yet I was without its protection when Eli Kie raped
and murdered me!
"You could not have wielded such a power."
I'm Sensing the truth to his words. It makes me sad.
"Short Hair. It was part of our Father's Great Plan that Good-eyes became
a shaman. You could not have been at his side. For your sacrifice, you've
been reborn and with Jes-ee-ah, rejoined to him in love. He will be shaman to
his People and fulfill the sacred task his former self could not at that
time. His tribe wasn't ready for such a truth."
I understand everything now.
"Be what your former self could not during his short life. Draw on what
he's learned, his passion and hopes. You will serve the People as Short Hair
while remaining true to your own white people. Live a long and happy life."
I'm rushing to embrace this man. He has freed me of the many shades of
darkness that weigh on our souls: anger, hatred, fear and doubt. I'm cleansed
of them. Eli Kie's evil taint is removed from me. My spirit is restored and
given the path to be with all the Others. Soaring! My other self Joins me
There for an instant. Or is it an eternity? I'm brought back to my body. A
painful gasp for air.
:Mike! You've returned to me. Oh, love. I was so scared!:
That's Jesse in my head. My eyes open to see his beautiful face marred
by worry and fear. I try lifting my arms to hold him but they're too heavy.
I'm brought to sit up by strong arms. It's grandfather. Jesse faces me in
my lap and I'm smothered by his kisses. Breaths rush through my nose. I turn
my head to press it against my lover's. I'm able to hold him now.
"His spirit was given wing to that Place he has visited before," explains
Charms A Bird. "I could not stop him."
"It's alright," I mutter. Jesse gives me worried eyes. :I'm okay. Really!
This man can help you. I've Seen who he has become and the terrible burden on
his shoulders.:
:Show me,: Jesse pleads.
I open myself to reveal all that I've Seen from Charms A Bird. There's a
familiar Pulling sensation in my head. My lover comes to understand this man
as I have. I'm startled by a strong hand over my shoulder.
'Short Hair. Let me obscure that Shining Path so you won't be tempted to
follow it until it is your time to go Above.'
This man never takes from me without asking. I really like that about him.
"Very well." I've said that in Siksika yet Charms A Bird understands by being
in my head. His eyes fill with a strange glow. There's a twisting in me. I
cast my thoughts to that wondrous Place. My memory of it is retained but I'm
unable to find my way back There. Jesse nods with understanding. I Sense his
relief. The danger of my taking Flight has always been a concern to us but
no more.
"Grandfather? Thanks for helping me with Short Hair. He's alright now. I'm
ready to stay with Charms A Bird so that he can perform the ritual."
"Very well, grandson. I will retire to my room and pray unto our Father
for your safe journey." The two shaman nod in mutual respect for each other.
Jesse turns to me and plants a kiss on my lips. We hear the door closing
after grandfather. I tighten our embrace and kiss my lover back. He responds
passionately, kissing me with our tongues taking turns in each other's
mouths. We're startled from it by a Voice in our heads.
'Save that for the ritual!'
I'd almost forgotten that we're not alone in this room. Jesse's arms
loosen around me. He gets to his feet and I'm offered a hand up. I'm feeling
very excited. We turn to Charms A Bird who grins from ear to ear. I remember
what he'd said in our heads. Is his ritual going to be sexual in nature?
"Yes, Short Hair, but don't you fret. I'm not going to rape your lover.
That's going to be his pleasant duty in Christopher's butt."
I'm gasping in surprise. "How does that help Jesse rid himself of his
former self?"
"It won't. Have you heard nothing that I've said? The ritual will Pass
Shaman Good-eyes' great need into me along with that man's memories I'll need
to fulfill my task. Your lover will retain his former self - all his wisdom
to draw upon but the danger of possession will be gone."
"Oh. Are you going to watch us when, like you said, Jesse is going to be
with Christopher?"
Charms A Bird nods with a grin. "Your lover will perform that as Owopspec.
I will be Connected to you during the ritual to draw him into me."
"How, exactly?" I'm reluctant for this man to have sex with us. I know him
from what we briefly Shared but he's been with other men so I'm afraid of us
catching something from him like AIDS.
"I possess the gift of Healing," Charms A Bird explains. "That's how I
keep my body cleansed and that of my partners. The ritual is not going to
involve me doing anything sexual with the two of you."
"How are you able to read my thoughts? You said we had to touch."
"Your face, Short Hair. I can read everything that you're thinking by the
emotions you display on it. I find that very endearing in white guys."
My face turns plain of emotion. I ain't so sure that he can read me just
by my facial expressions. I'm trying to guard my thoughts from him.
"You don't have to hide yourself from me," asks Charms A Bird. "I like
looking at your cute face. I'm envious that Jes-ee-ah has taken your heart
otherwise I would have tried capturing yours for myself."
My face begins to burn. Jesse gives me a sly grin that has me smiling.
:I love you so much!:
:Charms A Bird is right. You are cute. I'm so lucky to have you!:
:No. It's me who's lucky! Sometimes, I look at you and can't believe that
I've won your heart. You're so good looking and the beauty inside you... I'm
often brought to tears because of it. You are mine.:
:Yes, Short Hair. I love you. Love you!:
We embrace. Our foreheads press together while joy fills our hearts. We
truly are One. In our hearts, our bodies and in spirit.
"So beautiful..." whispers Charms A Bird. "I had nearly forgotten how
wonderful true love feels like after my Smiles A Lot went Above."
We turn to see the young man weeping after his voice breaks up. Jes grasps
Charms A Bird's shoulder and he responds by wiping his eyes dry. A smile
soon returns to his face.
"I'm alright. Come sit over the bed with me and I'll explain how this
ritual will take place."
We're both removing our shoes. In hand, I lead Jes-ee-ah to sit over the
bed with Charms A Bird who takes on a serious expression.
"This is what will happen. The two of you will bare yourselves. I'll bring
forth Owopspec who will make love to Krist-o-fer. Not as a Merging that you
fear, Short Hair, but a temporary assumption of your former selves in your
bodies. At the climax of love making, a Power is released that I can direct
into me. Shaman Good-eyes' great need along with his memories will become
mine. Your lover's former self will see what has happened and accept it.
He'll no longer try to possess Jes-ee-ah."
"Are there any dangers we should be aware of?" I ask.
"Not to yourselves. Because you have Merged with your former self, I'll be
concentrating on keeping Jes-ee-ah's former self from Merging with him.
Shaman Good-eyes will simply express himself in bodily form with your lover."
"Is there a danger to yourself? Could the ritual fail to work?" I ask.
"I'm sure that Jes-ee-ah's former self will jump at the chance to be with
his lover, Krist-o-fer. My task is to prevent your lover's self from getting
lost. I will be able to do this. The danger is mostly to myself. I'll be
Sharing all that Shaman Good-eyes is. He has many memories for me to absorb.
I'll choose which ones to Live which are important to my task."
"Could he overwhelm you?" I ask.
"No, Short Hair. As you are older than your former self during your
Merging with him, I too am older, stronger and more experienced with this.
I've undergone this ritual four times already and know what to expect. Yes.
They were only boys but I've Shared with a man before and learned much from
him. Don't worry. This ritual will have a good outcome. If we were not to
attempt this, your lover would eventually be overcome by his former self.
Are you ready, Jes-ee-ah?"
I'm waiting for my lover to answer him. He knows that this is his decision
to make so I'm blocking my thoughts to give him this moment alone to consider.
I hear Jesse breathe in deeply. He speaks.
"I am, Elder."
Charms A Bird asks that we clasp hands. He turns solemn. I'm prepared for
our thoughts to touch, images to flash in my head or something but the man
simply leads us in prayer.
"We ask for Your guidance, Father. Guard Jes-ee-ah's self so that he'll
pass through this and remain himself, the man Short Hair loves. I ask for
Your continued blessings upon me. I'm soon to fulfill a small part of your
Great Plan that requires the help of Shaman Good-eyes. May he be content to
share his burden with me for I believe they are one and the same."
"Amen," I utter alone. That draws knowing grins from the two Indians.
What? My God is the same as theirs.
"Okay. Get them clothes off!" demands Charms A Bird.
I'm feeling a pleasant tingling in my loins. Jesse looks to me to go
first so I pull off my shirt. He sheds his shirt. I unbutton my pants and
remove them along with my shorts. My lover bares himself. When I glance at
Charms A Bird, I see a pile of clothes at his side. My eyes fall on his dick.
It's sleeping over his balls, brown in color and uncut. Too bad he's not
going to share in our loving. Wind-go-through-his-hair comes to mind. How
that boy enjoyed being with Owopspec and myself every morning and night in
our tipi!
Charms A Bird gestures for us to scoot closer to him. We do so looking to
him to guide us in the coming ritual. A sexual one! Jesse crosses his legs
at my side. His hand presses against my right hip so I clasp it. The man
grasps both our shoulders. I'm feeling a Pulling from inside my head.
"I Call Good-eyes to come forth in this body. Take assumption of it to
express your love for Krist-o-fer who sits beside you. Be together in the joy
as it was. You have heard what my intentions are for this ritual. Act in the
Light of our Father! I accept the burden you carry, Inspired One. May it Pass
to my shoulders so that we can be at fulfilling our Father's task together."
Charms A Bird closes his eyes. The Pulling in my head grows stronger.
Chris has become One with me but I sense who he is become foremost in me...
This is a mite strange! I'm lookin' down at my body that's hairier than I
remember. More pale in color. Hmm. A thicker cock. I turn to the Indian youth
sittin' beside me. He's slim with long arms and legs but in his eyes there is
some'm familiar. Fear comes to me. I've made that vow to protect this person
from being taken over by my warrior lover!
'I beg you to put your oath aside during this ritual,' asks Charms A Bird.
'If after its completion should Good-eyes be in possession of Jes-ee-ah, then
will you fulfill your promise and be parted from him forever.'
"Very well," I answer. "You know that I will leave you, Owopspec."
"Yes, love. I've been trying to speak to you ever since this couple became
aware of us inside them. You've come forth to relive your life. My intent was
not simply to take over this youth but to slay an evil servant of Darkness!"
"Do not feel the need to avenge my death," I answer sadly. "As you've
said, I have returned to be in this person. A second chance at life for me."
"No. You do not understand, Kris. Eli Kie knows a thing that will bring
destruction to the world and those who live on it! I'd Seen this in him
during that brief moment he was struggling with Jes-ee-ah. Eli Kie is aware
of what the Tree Guardians protect beneath their feet. He is tasked by his
Dark Master to steal it away so that men who are clever enough will unlock
its great power. Those Sci-en-tists are without wisdom. A deadly force will
be unleashed! I've learned this from Charms A Bird that added to what I knew.
I will be content to Pass my burden to him."
I look at my lover with new eyes. He wasn't thinking about himself when
struggling to Merge with this Indian youth. Great need drove him. To save all
of us! My face leans over to give Owopspec a kiss. It is sweet.
"I forgive you thinking badly of me, Krist-o-fer. You don't have the
benefit of age and wisdom that I've earned after you were taken from me."
Tears swell in my eyes. The woe in my heart is lifted by his forgiveness.
"I love you, Owopspec!"
"As I do for you, Kris." Another kiss. "Live out your life as you deserve
within this man. I'll always be inside Jes-ee-ah to guide this young man in
the footsteps of his grandfather to serve the People. He also fulfills a task
of mine. To bring a truth to those who share our spirit not to be despised or
feared. How my heart ached to see how you were treated by our tribesmen! Your
white blood had set you apart from us, yes, but I should have announced to
all that we were a couple in spite of Comes-the-rain's objections, unashamed
that we loved in a way that is the same between a warrior and his squaw.
Please forgive me of this."
"There is nothin' to forgive! We were both young then, unaware of the
necessity to bring this truth to our People. It was enough that we knew. You
came to understand this need when you saw this happenin' to your own son. He
feared discovery by his tribesmen that he loved those of his sex. You acted!
The sacrifice you made of self to Geas an unborn spirit has Passed through to
this couple in a time where acceptance of those like us has a chance."
"That is my hope," answers Good-eyes.
I'm wipin' my eyes. My warrior wants me to appear strong, if just for him.
"Owopspec! Enough talk between us. We have said all that needs to be said and
I long to embrace our love in this opportunity afforded us. One last time to
be together as it was."
"It will also serve a good purpose. At the height of my joyful release,
Charms A Bird will be able to take me inside him. May he have the skill to
work such a difficult spell."
"There is a danger? I heard Short Hair ask him that. Some'm about takin'
all yer memories and Living only those he needs to be at fulfilling his task.
Tell me!"
"Willow Bird has not faced so great a challenge before, I suspect. He's
Passed through youths who posed no similar danger to him. I'll help guide him
as shaman to shaman so that only what he needs from me will be Lived."
"You are a good man. I never regretted you takin' me from the fort where
my old life seemed to have come to an end. We shared love together for three
happy years. It was enough for me."
"To hear that from you, Kris. I am strengthened in my resolve to do only
what needs to be done and not be tempted to possess the young man who holds
me. I've heard your vow. It was my great need to stop Eli Kie from his evil
task that made me try to come forth in Jes-ee-ah. Charms A Bird will be my
vessel. He is aware of the changes to him that will happen by taking me
inside him."
"Do you swear not to possess Jes-ee-ah?" I ask. Owopspec gives me fierce
eyes. I'm ashamed for having asked that of him but it's what Short Hair would
have demanded from him in assurance.
"I swear unto our Father that I'll not do this thing. Charms A Bird must
be successful in countering that Trickster."
I'm nodding my head. "Okay. You've never broken any of your oaths before."
I kiss my lover. He is the Owopspec that I remember. The body he's in is even
similar to his own. I'm hopin' he finds mine attractive and not so different
from when he held me last in his arms.
"More hair," comments Owopspec with a grin.
He caresses my chest that gets my body a tinglin'.
"I do miss your freckles, Kris. This face is not much different from your
own and if I may dare say, more pleasant to look upon."
"You may dare. My face wasn't as handsome?" I feign hurt. Owopspec rushes
to kiss me. My lips, chin, both cheeks, nose and then my forehead. I tighten
my arms around him. It's a skinnier body that lacks a man's hardness. The
people today don't have to hunt down their own food, tend to horses and be
prepared for an attack by enemies. Their lives have grown soft and easy.
"Yes, that is so."
"I always suspected that you could read my thoughts!"
"That is because of Jes-ee-ah's gift but I could sense how you felt from
both watching the expressions on your face and Feeling you inside me. Only at
your death did I Hear your outcry. I am sorry for not being able to save you
from that evil man! He even had his way with you before taking his blade
across your throat. Eli Kie dared to mock my pain when I stood close to tears
over your body! I should have slain him then! If I had but known..."
"Shh, my love. That is in the past. You will get your chance to avenge me
as Charms A Bird."
"Yes! That moment when Eli Kie realizes it is me who kills him will be
sweet but our task is to prevent him from carrying out his master's evil plan
to bring an end to all life."
Owopspec is shaking with anger in my arms. I raise my left hand to grasp
his head and bring it next to mine. Our ears press together. His long hair
tickles the side of my face. That's when I notice my tears that come from
sadness. "My love? Are we done now with talk so that we can embrace joy?"
"Yes, Kris. I tend to ramble as the old man I've become. So much inside me
that needed to come out. Now the moment comes for my love's expression to
come forth. Charms A Bird knew that the most intense way to Pass me into him
would be for me to stick in your pale butt. It will prove to be a very tight
one. A cock has only penetrated this man's body a handful of times according
to his lover."
"While my butt hole loosened from three summers of nightly mountin's that
I endured from your cock!"
"Don't forget Wind-go-through-his-hair. His was only a boy's size but he
rode your slippery ass after I was sated."
We both laugh. I'm glancing at Charms A Bird with an idea comin' into my
head. He could play that boy's role in a threesome. Owopspec gives me a kiss.
A passionate one. I'm feeling a blood swelling in my balls that gives rise to
my cock. I want to feel my warrior's mighty thrusts inside me as it was.
We pause to take breaths. Owopspec brings up his right hand to rub over my
cheek. He looks very intently at me.
"This face is too pretty, Kris. Yours was harder, more like a man's."
That makes me grin. I pull my arms from him and turn myself over the bed.
Charms A Bird scoots over by the pillows. I'm following him on my stomach and
he directs my head to rest over his left thigh. I gasp when feeling kisses to
my butt. Owopspec bites over both my cheeks that sends a thrill through my
asshole. A greater sensation comes when he tongues into my hole. I'm moaning.
His hands pull my cheeks apart so he can lick in me deeper. I hear him spit.
My lover is preparing for our joining that I'm aching for him to fulfill.
A heaviness comes to my back. I feel Owopspec directing his cock into the
crack of my butt. The hard knob of it presses against my hole. I'm trying to
relax myself back there. A thrilling stab! Some pain. This body is not used
to gettin' penetrated. Jes-ee-ah's size is a little smaller than my warrior's
but what worries me is that he'll be brutal with his thrusts. I've always
loved that from him! "Will you be biting my neck at the end?"
"Ah, yes... Kris! Does not the stallion of our herd mark the mare he's
just conquered?"
"My love. Please be mindful that these bodies are only borrow'd to us."
I'm not sure if Owopspec heard me. His hands are surging over my shoulders
when he drives his cock in and out of my butt. I gasp from the pain/thrill of
getting brutally fucked. My face presses into Charms A Bird's thigh.
I hear my lover panting against my neck. His wild body rides mine in the
joy that we've repeated nearly every night when we were together. Will I be
gettin' my turn? The reason we've been given this moment to be together one
last time is so that Owopspec will Pass into Charms A Bird. I lift my face to
see that man's hands reached over me to grasps my lover's shoulders. He waits
for that moment of ritual climax.
Ahhh... My butt is getting fucked good and hard! Owopspec's deeper stabs
hit into that place in my body that sends thrillin' surges through my cock.
It feels good. I notice my kisses to Charms A Bird's thigh. When I open my
eyes, his hard dick is only inches from my nose. It's exciting to see that
this man has been aroused by our love making.
An idea comes to me. I mouth my way up Charms A Bird's thigh until I'm
reaching his balls. I sniff them. A nice musky scent. My hands reach 'round
for the man's butt and pull over it. That brings my face closer to his loins,
in particular his long shaft that draws my desire to kiss it. Owopspec is
enjoyin' my ass while I'm gonna enjoy this man's cock. My lips rise along it.
I recall sucking on Wind-go-through-his-hair's erection. He'd rather stick my
ass. Sometimes, I got him to release himself in both openin's of my willin'
body. He sure was a horny Indian kid.
My mouth has reached Charms A Bird's knob. It's blood red, popped out from
his foreskin with lots of oozin'. I'm pullin' hard over his ass to get him
closer so that I can go down on it. Owopspec is riding my ass hard. A bit
painful, that. This body I'm in hasn't been proper broken in yet. A sly smile
comes to my lips. Jes-ee-ah's gonna enjoy a tight hole for a while.
I open my mouth to swallow up this Indian. He's leanin' forward to make a
good angle between us. His hard cock fits nice in me. Kinda hard though for
me to make that bobbing motion with Owopspec over my back. We bump our heads
together.
I'm gagging. Charms A Bird is stabbing deep in my mouth. I pull back a
ways (bumping heads with Owopspec again) and let him do all the work. My
hands are pullin' over this Indian's ass to get him buckin' forward, a
relaxing of my hands an' he pulls back. We've got a good rhythm going now.
Kinda matches what's happenin' in my asshole. Ahhh! What a sensation to be
servicing two Indians.
Air is rushin' through my nose. It's a bit hard to breathe with a cock in
my mouth and Owopspec's weight over my back but I do relish it! I'm glad that
Charms A Bird has joined into our lovin'. He's a good man. In need, too.
"Krist... o-fer!"
Owopspec is grunting my name over and over again. He's getting to that
exciting endin' part where his love is gonna be put in me. Yup. I feel his
hands reachin' through my armpits to grasp my shoulders. His cock is really
plowing my ass good an' hard. Ahh! It hurts. I'd usually stick my butt up to
meet his savage stabs but I'm not gonna. Don't want to get this body split in
two. Charms A Bird's cock in my mouth is stiffen' like the one in my butt.
They're both gonna shoot at the same moment.
I'm trying not to gag on this Indian. Breaths are racing through my nose.
His groin hair is ticklin' it. I smell his musky man scent that makes me wild!
They're both moaning something fierce. Me too, in my throat. What a sensation
to let myself get conquered. I love it! Indians sure know how to do me good.
I'm havin' to pull back when I gag bad. Charms A Bird's dick is a mite
longer than I used to suck on. Wind-go-through-his-hair's was nice. Only a
boy's length. He'd not let me drink from his that often 'cause he rather
flood my butt or Owopspec's.
My body is sweatin' up. Owopspec's heated body is slippin' and slidin'
over my back with his tight hands over my shoulders keepin' him from bucking
off. He's staying deep in my ass with that cock of his. Gonna shoot. I know
it. I'm stickin' my knees into the bed to get my butt up. A growl comes out
of him. We're stuck together real good now. I want his love deep in me!
An outcry. I'm expecting to get bit by Owopspec but he's still stabbing
me. There's a taste in my mouth. Charms A Bird is coming out. I'm feeling his
strong squirts, swallowing what I can so I won't gag. He's wailing out in a
high-pitched voice like a boy.
Another outcry. Sounds like a hungry bear who's got hold of some honey.
Yeah. My honey pot. Ahh! I'm feeling his cock throbbing deep in my hole as I
imagine him gushing good an' strong. He pulls over my right shoulder. Ouch! I
just got bit.
"Krist-o-ferrrrr!"
I'm smiling to hear him callin' my name. He's feelin' good. This other
Indian is too. Their bodies jerk. I feel a pressure between my ears that I
wasn't expectin'. It passes. My body relaxes along with theirs. We're done
making love so I expect that Sharing between them is gonna happen. Don't feel
anything myself. I'm wanting to ask about it but I won't. Indian rituals are
something not to interrupt at your peril.
Breaths are rushin' through my nose. I'm smelling male sweetness, drinkin'
what remains from this Indian's balls. It sure makes for a sticky throat.
Charms A Bird's cock is gettin' soft. I'm pulling back to slip him from my
mouth. Nice to be able to breathe again. I turn my head to rest over his left
thigh. I'm feeling his oozing against my cheek. It's a nice smell. I try
swallowing what remains in my mouth but a stickiness remains that won't go
down. Owopspec's weight remains over my back. He usually rolls off so that
Wind-go-through-his-hair can take his turning fucking me or enjoy his ass.
Oh, yeah. We're not in our tipi. I'm lookin' around this room that reminds me
of the one I've shared with Mr. Telson back at the fort. More space here. The
walls are very smooth and painted with a bright color.
I'm starting to squirm beneath my lover but still he don't move from my
back. Okay. Looks like I'm gonna have to wait this one out. Sure hope their
Sharing won't take all night!
There's a Pulling sensation in my head. I'm blinking my eyes. I have
returned to myself, as Short Hair though Chris is a part of who I am. Man!
He's sucked this Indian off. I'm not sure if I'd have done that myself but
there's nothing I can do about it now. My butt hurts. Owopspec was rather
brutal with his use of it. Not the gentle joining my Jesse gives me. And he
bit me! I'm wondering if my neck is bleeding.
My hands tighten around Charms A Bird's ass and I give him a little shake.
No reaction from him. :Jesse?: I Send. Nothing. When I concentrate, I'm
startled not to be Sensing his thoughts. Not even emotions that he never has
managed to block from me. I get real scared. Has Good-eyes taken my lover
over? Please, God! Don't let that to have happened!
Breaths are rushing through my mouth. It's getting hard to breathe with
this weight over my back. A decision comes to me. I can't wait for their
ritual to end. I'm slowly pulling myself away from Jesse. His dick slips out
of my hole. That hurt. With my hands, I gently push on Charms A Bird's legs
to get me onto my right side. I'm able to look at both of them. Jesse is
laying on his stomach between Charms A Bird's outstretched legs. That man's
hands are grasping my lover's shoulders. His head hangs to his chest. I'm
looking at both their faces. Eyes are closed. They must be deep into Sharing
with each other.
I need to touch Jes just to be sure he's still him. My hand presses over
his right shoulder blade. I'm closing my eyes to concentrate, willing my
thoughts to touch his. :Jesse!:
'He is safe, Short Hair. Let me get on with what I must do.'
I'm relieved. "How long?" I look at Charms A Bird's face but he doesn't
have his eyes open to look back at me. He's deep in concentration.
'The night. I don't... know. Leave us be. Go!'
My hand pulls back as if stung. I'm shaking my head, sensing that loss to
our Connection. It's a difficult thing to endure!
I look at both of them for a long while. Jesse's face is unreadable. I
can't Sense anything from him. Tears begin to fill my eyes. Charms A Bird's
face swims in my vision. I'm hoping that he'll open his eyes, say more to me
or something. He doesn't. A sense of helplessness comes over me. I'm gonna
have to put my trust in this Indian and hope that everything will be put
right by morning. There's nothing I can do but wait.
Maybe I should get dressed and check up on grandfather. Ah, no. I've made
that promise to Winna not to leave her son alone. He might need me. I roll
onto my left side and stretch myself. My butt is sure hurting me. It feels
wet. Another pain comes to my attention. A familiar aching that comes from my
need to piss. I hate to leave my lover's side but there's nothing I can do
for him. My eyes lift upwards. 'Please, Lord! May Charms A Bird be successful
with his Sharing Rite. I need my Jesse back.'
I take one last look at my lover's face then ease myself off the bed. I'm
staggering to the bathroom. My butt aches. At the toilet, I decide to stand
and piss so I won't be tempted into emptying my bowels. That was my mistake
the last time when I was fucked with all that painful pushing and nothing
coming out. I'm not really needing to go. It just feels like I do. My legs
are pressed together while I'm pissing. I reach back to hold my cheeks,
keeping my lover's seed inside me.
I go to the sink and rinse my mouth out. Man! I hope that Charms A Bird
was right about him being able to keep his body free of disease.
I'm eyeing the toilet but resist the urge to sit down on it. I make my way
back to the bedroom. Jesse is still laying between Charms A Bird's legs. It
looks like he's sleeping. I'm shaking my head 'cause it don't feel right.
:Jesse! Where are you?: My eyes see his nude form but I can't See him. None
of his thoughts or emotions are coming into my head. I'm glaring at Charms A
Bird. He has done this to us. I swear! If something has gone wrong, I'm
gonna beat him to a pulp.
Guilt fills me. I take a deep breath to try calming myself. He's told me
that Jesse's self will be kept from getting lost. Owopspec is Sharing with
Charms A Bird now. I hope he'll pass his great need to this Indian so he
won't possess my lover. He promised this to me. To Chris.
I carefully slip into bed so as to not disturb them from their ritual. My
head is feeling weary. After taking one last look at them, I ease myself
alongside my lover with my feet wrapping around his left arm. My head uses
his butt as a pillow. It's just as soft. Warm. Nice smelling. I close my eyes
and let sleep take me.
Late in the night, I'm feeling my urgent need to go to the bathroom. It's
very dark in the room. Where's Jesse's nightlight? With a yawn, I lift my
head from his backside and slip out of bed. I'm heading for our bedroom door
and run into something hard. A dresser?
Then it hits me. We're not in our bedroom. This is a motel room in Great
Falls and we're sharing our bed with another man. A sharp breath is sucked in
between my teeth. I turn to them but the darkness prevents me from seeing
anything. Are they still Sharing?
My butt hurts something fierce. I grope along the dresser and walk blindly
to where I hope the bathroom can be found. My left hand strikes upon a door.
I'm opening it in a rush 'cause there's a wetness running down my right leg.
The light switch is found and the low hum of a fan is heard after I flicked
it. I'm turning around to sit over the pot before it all gushes out.
My pushes become painful. I try relaxing myself down there. What Owopspec
has given me is emptied from my butt yet his love remains behind in my heart
for always. That makes me smile. He really loved Chris. In a way, that couple
lives on through Jes and me. If Charms A Bird's ritual is successful, will
Owopspec remain content where he is in my lover? He's promised! I'm rushing
back to bed with my arms huddled around me for warmth.
I slip into bed beside Jesse. His body feels warm when I'm reaching
across his back to grasp his left shoulder. A tender kiss is given to his
right shoulder. He doesn't stir from sleep. In my head, I'm Sensing him
again and relief fills me. Our Connection had been dampened during Charm A
Bird's Passing Rite but it has returned. He remains the man that I love. With
that thought, I feel myself falling back to sleep.
I'm awakened with the need to take a piss. My eyes open. The dull glow of
morning comes through the sides of the curtained window. A yawn escapes my
lips. I'm remembering where I am. Charms A Bird is sitting against the
pillows. His head hangs to his chest, fast asleep. Snoring. I follow the
length of his long hair down to where it nearly reaches his tummy. Lower, I
peer at his dick sleeping over his balls. Did I really suck on him?
Laying beside me is Jesse. I've been sharing warmth with him during the
night with my left arm and leg covering him. I'm mostly on my right side in
the bed. He doesn't stir when I shake his left shoulder even when Sending
him my request to wake up. I'm Sensing deep sleep in him.
My hard dick pains me to seek relief. I'm lowering my left hand down to
Jesse's butt and for a moment, I consider another kind of 'relief'. Ah, no.
We're sharing our bed with another man. That makes me too shy.
I really need to take a piss! My movement is gentle and slow when I crawl
from the bed and head for the bathroom. I'm flicking the light switch on.
With my cock in hand, I take aim and start pissing into the bowl. Ahhhhh.
Relief comes to me.
"Mind if I join you?"
"No." Charms A Bird startled me but I step sideways to give him a place to
stand. Our two yellow streams cross. I'm finishing first but linger a moment
until he's done. My eyes are glued to the way he's holding his dick. Its
brown foreskin has been rolled back to reveal a blood red knob. I've not seen
an Indian with that color before. It's not a trait of Blackfoot men.
"Your shoulder!" gasps Charms A Bird.
"Huh?" I flinch when the bite wound Owopspec had given me is touched. I
turn sideways to look at it in the mirror. Yup. I'm the conquered mare. When
Charms A Bird's left arm is felt around me, I tense up. Words spring from my
mouth. "Thanks. For what you did for Jesse." He doesn't reply. That forces
me to look at Charms A Bird who gives me the strangest look I've ever seen
from an Indian. I'm not able to Glean his intent.
"Mike." A breath rushes through Charms A Bird's nose. "You are like the
fawn who startles at every sound."
I'm glaring at Charms A Bird. What does he mean? A deeper expression fills
his face and I'm given a hug. The sensual warmth of his body against mine
excites me yet part of me feels the need to get away.
"You are very much like Kris."
That hidden memory from my former self had been revealed to me yesterday.
He'd felt the same way about this man. Attracted to him, yet scared.
"Short Hair. Do I not always ask before taking?"
I'm swallowing nervously in my throat. "And... What are you asking of me?"
Charms A Bird slowly straightens up. His eyes flick in a way that sends a
blood rush into my cock. I notice his hard on. My eyes drop to the man's feet
in embarrassment. They're spinning over the tiled floor and I hear the toilet
flushing. I look over this Indian's brown butt with sharp lust filling me.
Charms A Bird remains turned away from me. He lifts his arms and stretches
until his elbows crack. My eyes are glued to his rear end. It's a nice shape,
more filled out than Jesse's but looking more like a girl's butt than a boy.
I'm stepping closer to him. My cock begs me to stick in him yet my heart and
my head are putting up a fierce struggle.
When Charms A Bird itches himself back there, my left hand reaches for his
butt. It's very soft. I'm digging my fingers into his brown cheek. He sighs.
My hard cock points into his ass to fuck him as he wants. He'd done mine in
Comes-the-rain's tipi...
I turn around instead and without a word, flee the bathroom. My heart is
racing. Jesse is still laying over the bed on his belly. Fast asleep. Guilt
fills me when I think about how close I came to being with another man. I'm
slipping into bed. My arms rush around my lover who I cling to like a
frightened little boy. I'm feeling real stupid. I'd know what Jes would be
saying about it. 'Silly! It wouldn't harm our love to be with him.'
"I just don't want to," I whisper to my sleeping prince. Tears fill my
eyes. 'Why can't we only be with each other that way?' I think to myself.
The bed shifts under Charms A Bird's weight when he sits by the pillows.
I've caught a glimpse of his left knee. My eyes close to hide myself from
him. He possesses such Power! He's Seen into me that only Jesse and his
grandfather have done. They don't scare me like this... this strange Indian!
He's not even of the People.
:Jesse... Please wake up?: I Send. Only his gentle snoring answers me.
I bury my face in his hair and shut my eyes so tightly that my nose aches.
A soft humming comes to my ears. I listen to Charms A Bird who breaks into a
song with words I cannot understand but they reach my heart. It's a very sad
melody. His voice breaks up at the end and I'm almost tempted to lift my head
to look up at him.
I hold Jesse for a long while. Charms A Bird doesn't stir from his perch
by the pillows. I'm not even hearing his breathing. I've been trying to think
over why I feel scared of him but cast that thought aside each time.
We need to call Running Water to let him know that we'll be returning his
truck so he can get home to Chinook after work today. I'm not sure how early
it is. Grandfather needs to know that the ritual is over with. If Jes can get
up, we'll dress and go to his room. We can be home in only a few hours.
He could make me have sex with him. I have felt his Power.
I'm violently shaking my head. No. Charms A Bird said that he always asks
before taking. He could have put a spell over me in the bathroom. I almost
did fuck his butt. That came from my lust for him. He's a good looking Indian
and willing to have sex with me. I wanted to. Badly. So what stopped me? It
wasn't from feeling guilty exactly since I'm sure Jesse would have been okay
with it. I've had sex with his uncle but we love each other from our hearts.
I know Running Water. He is real to me, a man with much good in him along
with his failings. That makes him human. I've also been with Simon. We've
gotten to know each other some and have become friends. He's a nice kid.
It's Indian magic that scares me. Jes-ee-ah has Power but I don't fear
him because that's coming from his former self. Owopspec crafted that Power
Bundle and the spirit inside it has come into us. Charms A Bird's ritual will
stop my lover's former self from trying to possess him. That's why we've come
here. It's done. Why doesn't Jes wake up? I want to leave with him. Now.
I'm shaking Jesse and Send my thoughts to him, urging him to wake up.
"He needs rest."
I'm startled by Charms A Bird's scolding voice. I cling to my lover while
struggling to ask him something. My words are a mere whisper. "How long will
he sleep?"
"For a while. I don't know when he'll awaken but it should be by tonight."
That long? My voice is trembling. "Did your ritual... work?"
"Yes. Be at peace, Short Hair. Your lover's former self has Passed his
great need into me along with some of his memories. I recognize Eli Kie for
what he is. A servant of Evil! We will meet in the sacred wood to do battle
as I've foreseen. If he wins, all life on this world will end yet if I
counter him, my life will end." Charms A Bird releases a weary sigh. "How I
long for that. Finally! To go Above and be with whom I love..."
My heart aches for Charms A Bird. I lift myself from Jesse and sit up in
bed to face him. There's such sadness in his eyes. "What was his name?"
"Smiles A Lot."
Tears are falling down Charms A Bird's face. I see the love he had for
that man. It's no less than what I feel for Jesse. I'm Gleaning that they
only had a few moons to embrace their joy.
"Like yourself, my lover had a second chance at life yet both of us wore
new bodies. My spirit had Passed into a little boy while his Passed into a
Shew-owa scout. We didn't recognize each other when we met again yet our
love for each other had shown through. Only the outsides of us had changed."
"Like Chris becoming me and rejoining his lover in Jesse's body?"
"Yes. Love is strong medicine that endures that ending of the body. It
binds spirits together. In the Above, there's the utter joy of being One.
When spirits are Sent back down into flesh, they remember love and seek each
other out. Is this not how you found your Good-eyes again in Jes-ee-ah?"
That Disney song had it right. We are all connected to each other. In a
circle, in a hoop that never ends. "It's nice to know that love endures."
"Yes. And what we call 'love' is so much more than that human feeling. It
has a power greater than what we experience in mortal form. The Darkness
wants an end to it. Not only to its manifestation on our Mother but in the
Above as well."
"Our Father reigns supreme There. No Darkness can shadow over those who
are in the Light." Charms A Bird lowers his eyes from the ceiling. He gives
me a Look that sends a cold shiver through me.
"Our spirits are vulnerable when in flesh. If a human being is subverted
by Evil, it taints their soul which becomes wingless to the Above. Fewer
spirits are making that Flight than ever before. The Darkness seeks to remove
this place where our spirits dwell for a time to learn and grow."
"This place. You mean the Earth?" Charms A Bird nods.
"There are many other worlds where spirits come Down. Our Mother is but
one such place amongst the stars. The Darkness has managed to snuff life out
on some of them. A fingernail from a dying world dropped into our sky and
brought life here. It was our beginning and it could also become our end."
A powerful sensation comes over me. I remember seeing that dead look in
Eli Kie's eyes. He knows where that sky fallen fingernail is being guarded.
His Dark Master has tasked him to penetrate the sacred grove with the help of
powerful medicine. An unborn spirit! Yet Jesse and I took this spirit within
us and Eli Kie was denied using it for Evil. He's found another way. A Power
sleeping in a bundle Miss Thomas had in her collection! I tell Charms A Bird
what I've Gleaned.
"So. The Trickster has found another way past the Sleeping Guardians."
I See flame. A tower of fire sweeping the trees as they sway in agony from
being consumed. Darkness passes over their burnt remains like a shadow to the
center of what they had protected.
"That is where I will go to stop him," says Charms A Bird. "Good-eyes has
Seen the danger you have. Darkness will meet the Light there."
"I understand now why our Father let you Pass into youths so you would be
ready to make battle with Evil." Charms A Bird nods.
"I will defend this place where our spirits come Down. That is my sacred
task, Short Hair. You and Jes-ee-ah have a task of your own. It's to bring a
truth to the People so that some of them won't fall into Darkness. You'll be
carrying on for me after I am gone. The next leaders of the Mahyee-na."
"That word. What does it mean, exactly?" Charms A Bird goes deep into
thought and after a while, I'm thinking he won't answer me.
"It is a word from the enemy of my People, the Spear-bearing Warriors."
"Your enemies? I thought it was something that means, well... love."
Charms A Bird smiles. "Mahyee-na is a secret society of men. It had its
beginnings with Shaman Snarling Bear. He was ever a man of peace and when war
was about to break out between his People and mine, he came to warn us of it
yet his efforts were for naught. A Trickster by the name of Little Fox Eyes
was fanning the flames of war amongst the Spear-bearing Warriors. He sent
them upon my tribe. I was slain by him."
"You were killed? I don't understand..." Charms A Bird looks down at
himself sadly.
"My body was, yet as my life faded, I managed to Change into a willow
tree. That put death off long enough for my Chosen to come and catch my last
leaf into his small hand."
"He was Running Wolf?"
"Yes. The dearest boy to me! He became Leader of the Mahyee-na during his
short life. All that I was as Willow Bird had Passed through him to the next
Chosen. A boy named Little Arrow. His manhood name became Many Arrows In Hand
and he lived a very long life..."
I'm given a strange Look by Charms A Bird that sends a cold chill down
my spine. He studies my face intently, eyes growing wide as if remembering
something about me that he didn't realize until this moment.
"What is it?" I ask.
"Michael. I want you to remember something but don't press me to explain
it. Alright?"
I'm slowly nodding my head. Why did he call me by my father's name?
"You will meet my previous self. Stay the wrath of the Blackfoot who'll
see him as a trespasser onto their lands. Help him. The circle will then be
complete." Charms A Bird flares his eyes.
I'm shrugging my shoulders from not understanding his plea upon me.
"You will understand when the time comes."
"Alright." I need to ask him a pressing question about something else.
"What is the Mahyee-na society all about?"
"We are pledged to bring those who are attracted to their sex into the
Light. Men who love men and there's even a newly formed women's society."
"Are they the Mahshe-na?" I ask in jest. Charms A Bird laughs.
"No." His face takes on a serious expression. "If we can help youths who
share our spirit to find acceptance in themselves, they won't fall prey to
the Darkness-that-comes and become his evil servant, the Trickster."
My eyes widen. Jesse and I were talking about this only last night!
"Bringing lost ones into the Light is our sacred pledge. We also give of
ourselves to those in need so as you can imagine, there's a lot of sex! What
is more difficult is bringing a truth to the People that our hearts are no
different from theirs. We can love. What does it matter that we're gay or
lesbian?" Charms A Bird delves into his new memories from Shaman Good-eyes.
"You and Jes-ee-ah will form a Mahyee-na society amongst the Blackfoot. It's
already begun."
Does he know about Simon? I'm stammering for words. "Ah. We've shown a boy
that it's okay to be gay. He now knows the difference between sex and love."
"Did you enjoy teaching him?" asks Charms A Bird with grin.
"Well, yes. I was concerned by his age because it's not accepted these
days to embrace a youth sexually." My eyes flare.
"That comes from a society trying to protect their young. I'm not against
their views but in certain instances, such as with your young charge, he was
ready to partake of your teachings. Is this not so?"
I'm nodding. "Jesse thought so."
"And you, Short Hair?"
"My former self saw many such things amongst the youths of his tribe. It
was a kind of game where the older boys taught the younger ones how to thrill
themselves and pass what spilt from their loins in fun to help their little
bodies grow towards maturity."
"I have seen this same thing yet for the most part, it's only naked fun.
Things boys will do with each other. It takes someone who is more mature and
confident in themselves to teach certain youths to be Mahyee-na."
"You mean being gay."
"It is much more than that," answers Charms A Bird. He opens his mouth to
explain further but he doesn't. A grin comes to his face. "Jes-ee-ah knows.
You'll learn from him what form of the Mahyee-na society will come about
amongst the Blackfoot. Darkness will be denied its victims. In the Light,
boys will grow up to be proud men and the People will take notice of this.
The Gay Movement has already begun."
I've never thought of it that way. Charms A Bird continues.
"They're a bit more physical on emphasis than what my brotherhood teaches.
We also look within ourselves, at our spirituality which the reason life is."
"These bodies of ours are fleeting. It's our spirits that continue in the
circle of life."
"Yes, Short Hair. You know. Don't you?"
I'm nodding. We exchange looks from one man to the other who've learned
this truth. It's hard to describe the feeling. Joyful. I would also add that
it gives us no fear of death. We learn things while on our Mother that is
brought forward into our next lives if we can but remember them. I have from
Christopher. Jesse will delve into Owopspec's wisdom and be that shaman his
People need for this day and age.
Charms A Bird goes to check on my lover. I'm Sensing deep sleep in Jes.
That's getting me to yawn until I Pull back from him. I've rested enough.
My stomach rumbles with hunger. Does this motel offer room service, I wonder?
"Here. Let me offer you some food." Charms A Bird scoots off his bed and
fetches a pouch from his backpack.
I eagerly join him in eating sticks of jerky. They are good, reminding me
of what Owopspec offered me though these have a stronger flavor. More moist.
"I've purchased these from a convenience store," says Charms A Bird.
"Oh." I'm chewing my way down a stick. When he offers me another, I
decline. It's rather spicy. I'll be needing water to drink so my stomach
won't trouble me later. That reminds me. "Charms A Bird?"
"Yes?"
I'm looking down at my belly with concern. "When you first came to Chris
in Comes-the-Rain's tipi, he felt your hand. Here." Charms A Bird switches
his jerky to his left hand. He presses over my stomach with his right and I
feel a warmth flowing into me.
"You are both worriers!" scolds Charms A Bird. "Chris was burning a hole
in his stomach that I Healed then. You were well on your own way to an ulcer,
Short Hair. I've Healed it."
"Thanks." I knew that all my worrying was gonna get me sick. Winna even
told me but an ulcer already?
"You must try to accept things in life. Let the bad flow past you instead
of swirling around in your belly. I won't be around to Heal you again."
"Charms A Bird?" I'm swallowing nervously in my throat. It's difficult
asking him this but since his is a Healing hand... Our eyes meet. I become
reluctant to ask him for yet another favor.
'May I Look to see what troubles you?'
I'm nodding. There's a Pulling in my head followed by his hand lowering to
my balls. He knows what's wrong with me. "I've accepted this sacrifice to my
manhood. Hawk Flying Over can make better use with sperm than I."
'You are so giving, Short Hair.'
He cups my balls in his hand but I'm not feeling that warmth from them.
"Did you Heal me?"
Charms A Bird shakes his head. 'I have no need to. Our Father honors your
sacrifice and it's my belief that your manhood will be restored in time.'
"You won't Heal it now?" I ask.
'No. Are you in a rush to give Jesse a baby?'
I flash Charms A Bird a startled look. "That's silly. We're both guys so
you know that can't happen between us."
'That is so. A sad thing, isn't it? I can't think of two people I'd rather
see bringing forth a new life coming out of their love.'
Charms A Bird pulls his hand away. He gives me a strange look.
"I have sired a daughter."
"You? But I thought you were gay!"
"We of the Mahyee-na are not prevented from begetting sons and daughters.
My seed was passed from a girl to her older sister. Her husband was unable to
put his baby in her. She bore my child. It was a secret known only to those
sisters and as Running Wolf, I never revealed to them that Willow Bird had
Seen their female rite. That man's joy would have turned to shame if he'd
known it wasn't a child from his loins. In all the more important ways, his
daughter was his. This little girl grew up loving her daddy. I loved her too.
And in this way, my mother's wishes that the blood of my father would pass
through me happened though she knew it not."
"You've had a very eventful life."
"Lives," reminds Charms A Bird. "I was denied that joy to bring forth a
new life from any of the boys I've Passed into when they grew into manhood.
That was my sacrifice unto Him."
I don't press Charms A Bird to explain why that was. His lips form a tight
frown. It seems rather sad. He was gay, though. I'll never want to be with a
woman to give her my baby!
"Chief Good-eyes was fortunate to have experienced being a father."
"Jesse wouldn't have been born otherwise." I'm realizing something. I too
wouldn't have been born if it wasn't for Christopher taking Shirt-for-man to
wife. He'd done that to prove his loyalty to the Blackfoot. I'm feeling bad
for the woman. Chris wouldn't be a husband to her after their first mating.
He'd felt dirty from the act, worried how it would affect Owopspec's love for
him but he needn't have worried. His warrior was the one who asked Kris to
marry Shirt-for-man.
"Your manhood will be restored to you," says Charms A Bird with a far away
look coming into his eyes. His voice becomes but a whisper. "I will say this
about Hawk Flying Over. His seed may not find fertile ground though it's
given in love from his heart. Your father's blood could pass through you to a
woman in need for a baby as it happened with my seed given to that girl."
The tiny hairs lift at the back of my neck. He's Seen something! I
recognize that same Look in Jesse's face when he's been given a vision.
"Tell me what you know!" I beg.
Charms A Bird rubs the weariness from his eyes. "You have heard it."
I'm dropping my gaze from his in disappointment. Charms A Bird had spoken
from Sight and he's either keeping something to himself or he's told me all.
I know better than to press a shaman about this.
I'm looking over at Jesse. He's sprawled over the bed deep in sleep. I
can Feel this from him. When he awakens, we'll return to Havre and all the
troubles in my life will return to me like a splash of cold water. I'm
rubbing my shoulder in remembrance.
I startle some when Charms A Bird covers my hand with his. He's smiling.
"You are in the aching shoulder's stage in your life, Short Hair."
"Yeah." I'm laughing bitterly. Does he know of the legal trouble I'm in?
"Those burdens will pass and then you'll become as the busy bee. Always
trying to help others but not everyone wants to be helped or in the way you
want them to."
"What do you mean by that?" I ask. Charms A Bird's smile grows.
"Help those who want to accept it. Let live. Try not to control the events
in your life that are beyond you. These burdens you bear will fall into their
proper place if you can learn to trust in the path our Father has set down
before your feet. Have faith!"
Charms A Bird breaks out into laughter. I thought he was giving me serious
advice but now it seems that he was trying to get the better of me. I'm the
brunt of some joke of his. That makes me angry. "When will I become like you?
Laughing at life?" I ask sarcastically.
"You won't. I have lived through a handful of lives and have become what
you see before you."
My eyes see the Indian youth he appears to be grinning from ear to ear.
A bit silly at times and deadly serious in the next moment. I have Seen who
this man is though. If I only had a few words to describe Charms A Bird it
would be that he's weary of life. His only escape is in laughter.
I turn from him and scoot my butt across the bed to where Jesse lies.
We're at the beginning of our lives together. My heart is filled with joy,
the hope that we'll be given the time to share happiness for many more days
to come and if not, as Jesse has told me, it would have been worth this time
we've had together. We have lived!
Charms A Bird passes behind me and enters the bathroom. My eyes fall over
his wiggly butt. I'm in lust for it but pride fills me that I didn't fuck
him earlier as much as we both wanted to. There's no love for him in my
heart. Our joining would have been a fleeting thing and quickly forgotten. I
hope that I'll never demean myself with casual sex. Beating off alone seems
more honest.
I hear the shower running. My eyes fall over my lover's behind. It's a
part of him that I've enjoyed and my heart is expressed to him through our
mutual pleasure. We've joined ourselves. I'm glad that guys can be together
in a way like it is with a straight couple. No baby can come to us yet we
enjoy the trying in our acts of love.
I sit over Jesse's rear end. His feels nice against me. Warm and soft.
My hands fall to my lover's back to massage him. His brown skin is smooth
to the touch. I'm wanting him to wake up. My pleas for him to do so are
Sent again and again. Tears fill my eyes. I'm feeling lost without him
returning his thoughts into my head. :Where are you, Jes?:
My cock has become hard. I'm denying its need while my hands press over
Jesse's shoulder blades. I often shake him. :Wake up!: My tears continue to
fall down my face and drip to his lower back. I need to see his smiling face
and know that he's well. :Please, my love! Come back to me.:
When my hands tire, I lay over Jesse's back to rest. His hair tickles my
nose each time my breath blows to his neck. I'm smelling him. That heightens
my lust but I won't stick into my lover while he's asleep. It would be wrong.
That pleasure is for both of us to share in. A heart's sweet love. :Jesse?
I'm missing you so much!: I kiss his right cheek. :Oh, Jes-ee-ah...:
For a long while, I cuddle with my sleeping prince to await when he'll
arise from a century of enchanted sleep my kiss cannot break.
I stagger into the tipi and shed my warm winter's robe. Moccasins fly from
my cold wet feet. I'm drawn to the blazing fire and am about to sit before it
when I see that Owopspec has a guest. It's an Indian youth. I'm looking
around for Wind-go-through-his-hair but I don't find him.
A low muttering fills my ears. Owopspec is speaking in a strange tongue
that reminds me of Shaman Comes-the-rain's chanting during his rituals. I'm
looking at his guest again. Jesse? When I rush to his side and draw him into
my arms, my joy fades when he doesn't acknowledge my presence. His eyes are
ever on the old man speaking to him in apt attention.
I'm badly startled. This is Owopspec? His lean face is cracked with many
age lines. Snow white hair spills to his thin shoulders. What has happened to
my warrior lover? Then I recall that he's lived many years beyond me to
become Chief of the Blackfoot and then shaman.
There's a pause to Owopspec's muttering. He turns to face me, a stern look
coming into his eyes that sends a cold shiver down my spine. His right hand
makes the gesture for me to go to sleep. I'm dropping to a mat at his side,
tears filling my eyes but when I cast a mournful look at my lovers, they nod
in understanding to how I'm feeling.
"We are having a long talk," says Owopspec. "You will find Jesse returned
to your arms when you awaken. Be at peace, Short Hair. Have sweet dreams."
I awaken with Jesse's face close to mine. He has his eyes open, smiling,
and utter relief and joy fills me. I'm rushing to embrace my lover. We kiss
many times. He turns his face and our cheeks press close together while I'm
catching my breath.
"I'm sorry you've had to wait for me to wake up," says Jesse.
My head pulls back so that I can look upon Jesse. Is he still himself?
I'm feeling his fingers pressing against my trembling lips.
:Look within to be assured that this is so, love.:
I become timid but my fear overcomes it and I Look deep into my lover. His
thoughts are familiar to me. There's no trace of his former self having come
up in him. Owopspec has been true to his word. Jesse gives me a shy grin.
That more than anything assures me that he's remained the young man I love.
:Oh, Jes!:
We embrace and that's when I notice the blanket covering us. Our nakedness
presses close together. I'm feeling a swift rising to my cock and with that
the need to offer Jesse all of my love.
:You should know that Grandfather is sitting in a chair behind you.:
My arms keep their tight hold around my lover. His dick is getting hard
against mine. We mash them nicely together. I kiss Jesse. :It's not like
grandfather hasn't seen us making love before.: He giggles softly.
:Maybe he's asleep.:
I'm already losing myself in Jesse's kisses. All thoughts about his
grandfather flies from my head when we make frantic love.
We're both panting for breath afterwards. Jesse peers shyly at me,
closing his eyes when he leans forward to kiss me... My nose? I'm raising my
chin so our lips can touch. :That's why you shouldn't close your eyes.:
:You think I missed?: Asks Jesse. :Silly!:
His mouth roams back up to my nose. I'm kissing his chin, wondering if
he's gonna kiss me back.
"You have a booger hanging from you nose."
Jesse is giggling at me. I catch the meaning behind his words and rub
over my nose. "Is it gone?" We both know that there was no booger. I told him
this same thing when I'd lost my nerve to kiss him that first time in his
mother's front room.
:You really blew it then.:
I grasp Jesse's soft head and kiss him. Again and again. :But not ever
after that, my love.:
:No. You didn't, love.:
Our faces press together when we struggle for breath. I'm smelling our
male sweetness leaking down to the mattress from our bellies. That's when I
remember grandfather.
:Let's get up and take a shower.:
Jesse kicks the blanket away and we spring from our bed on the far side.
Grandfather is seen sitting in a chair near the bathroom. He's awake. We're
streaking past him when his cracked voice fills our ears.
"No morning greeting for me?"
We stop dead in our tracks. The old man lifts his eyes from our nakedness
(wet from making love) and he smiles.
"It's afternoon by now, grandfather, but I offer you our greeting."
"Are you well?"
I'm turning to Jesse and see confidence in him that I've not seen before.
He reaches his long arm around my waist to bring me close to his side.
"I am, grandfather. Shaman Charms A Bird has helped me."
"That is good to hear. Now, off to your shower!" commands grandfather.
We walk into the bathroom. "I hope Charms A Bird has left us a towel."
That's when it hits me. He is gone.
"Yes, love."
"I would have liked to say goodbye to him. Thanked him." Jesse closes his
eyes and I'm Feeling him reaching out. "He's probably already on his flight."
Through our Connection, I Hear an eagle's sharp cry in the clouds.
:Charms A Bird is already half way home,: Says Jesse.
My eyes widen in surprise. I don't remember seeing a car parked out in
front of his room. How did he get here from the airport? The tiny hairs lift
at the back of my neck. I'm Hearing a faint voice in my head. The rush of
wind in my ears when Charms A Bird wishes us happiness in our new lives.
:He is a shape changer, after all. Why pay those expensive airline rates?:
Awe fills me. What is it like to fly as free as an eagle in the sky?
All signs of our love making is rinsed from our bellies. I'm soaping down
Jesse's back. He's trying to prevent his hair from getting wet since it's
already such a tangle. I know that his mom will be braiding it for him when
we return. He could always cut his hair short like Hawk Flying Over's! I'm
waiting for Jesse's sharp response to this but he doesn't make one. So it's
true. My lover can no longer peek inside my head.
After a final rinse, we get out of the shower and dry off. We add our
towels to Charms A Bird's on the floor. Grandfather is eager to get into the
bathroom when we come out. We get dressed. Jesse finds two sets of room keys
on the dresser and hands them over to me to be returned.
Grandfather soon joins us. He seems a bit unsettled from what I'm seeing
on his face and I wonder if he's in any pain. How old is this man? Ancient.
The deep cracks in his weathered face, thin frame and how he stoops over as
if heavily burdened proves that this is so. What I see from his eyes reminds
me of Charms A Bird. No Passing into a young body for grandfather when his
end nears. I expect he looks forward to joining his wife in the Above. Only
one task remains for him before he does. We're both looking at Jes. He lifts
his eyes from the bed and takes one last look around the motel room.
"I'm ready to go home," says Jesse.
We're driving north on the highway. No one has said anything since we've
left Great Falls. Grandfather is sitting between us. That surprised me. I'm
wanting to know why but there's no easy way to ask him. Jesse is looking out
his window. He hasn't thought to me. I'm Feeling his mood, a sense of relief
that we're going home but too, he's at peace with himself. I sometimes Sense
him speaking to someone. His former self. It's a thing I've done when delving
through Christopher's memories before we Merged.
Grandfather sits up straight in his seat. I feel his hand against mine
and we clasps them. A glance to my right shows that he's also holding
Jesse's hand.
"My grandsons. Is this not a wonderful day?"
"Yes, grandfather."
I'm looking up at the clear bright sky through the windshield. "It is."
That's when I realize grandfather wasn't talking about the weather. He means
what's happened.
"Both of you have come through a trial," says He-who-runs-up-mountains.
"I'm very proud. Short Hair, yours was the more difficult for you were not
born to our ways. I see that your eyes have been opened. Your heart has been
tested and not found lacking. It is your love for Jes-ee-ah that has seen you
through but know this. Your spirit is strong and good. I know that you would
have helped my tribe even if there was no love to be won from a man. I ask
you to open your heart to the People as well."
I'm pondering over grandfather's words when he speaks again.
"Jes-ee-ah. You have given this old man a great gift. Hope! Your path will
follow after mine in service to our People. There is no greater aspiration.
I will begin your training at the end of the Flower Moon."
"Yes, grandfather."
My hand is squeezed. "Do not be overly concerned about this, Short Hair.
My grandson will spend much time with me but you'll not be long parted from
him. There is no way of separating you. I must pass on what I know before it
is time for me to go Above."
"You won't die!" gasps Jesse. "The night sparrows have flown past you and
forgotten that you even exist."
From Chris, I know what that Blackfoot reference means. 'Night sparrows'
is their name for the Grim Reaper. It is believed amongst the People that
when sparrows are seen flying at night (which is not their usual wont),
someone will be found dead in the morning. Usually a grandparent. Spirits
are helped Above by the night sparrows when they spy out an old one whose
time has come.
Grandfather releases a weary sigh. "I am old, Jes-ee-ah. My bones hurt.
It is only with the grace of our Father that I've been overlooked so far.
What I can teach you this year must carry you through until you're named the
tribe's next shaman. Your former self will be your guide after me."
I'm Feeling much anguish in Jesse. I've just caught grandfather's hint!
"Say that you don't know this for sure, grandfather!"
"I didn't. It's not from vision that I've foreseen my death but my body
is weary. There are failings with it that are clear signs that I haven't that
many more moons left on our Mother. We will make use of this time. You will
be readied to assume your responsibilities to the People."
Jesse buries his face in grandfather's chest. I'm fighting back tears.
My love for this old man is no less than his. He was the first to acknowledge
our special bond. We've turned to him for help with our troubles and he was
there for us, comforting us with gentle words, scolding us when we deserved
it but mostly, grandfather has ever been our guide. We love him dearly!
"You were late in coming to me, grandson. I would have wanted to have
begun your training in your youth. No. It's not your fault and I won't
question why our Father made this so. Know that you are my third Chosen."
I know who Grandfather's first and second Chosen were! His son died in his
early twenties along with his son's son who was Running Water's brother. He
was killed when a boy. It's not proper to name the dead but Winna had spoken
to me briefly about him and that's when I Gleaned that a servant to Darkness
had done this to prevent him from fulfilling his training as shaman.
I'm startled when grandfather stares at me. His hand is tight around mine.
He knows that I know and I'm Sensing his plea to keep this from Jesse. He's
afraid for his grandson but doesn't want to place undue worry on him.
"I will try to be worthy of you, grandfather."
"Jes-ee-ah. You already have."
A long silence passes. Grandfather holds Jesse close to him until he's
found the strength to end his tears and return to his place by the window.
I've been concentrating on my driving. There's a lot of traffic heading north
that reminds me of my morning commute into Indianapolis. More pickup trucks
than I'm used to. I've been looking at their drivers and most of them are
white. Indians aren't the only ones who prefer having trucks in these parts.
I'm gonna be driving a truck of my own in a few days. I wonder when Tom Grips
His Tomahawk will have it ready for me?
Grandfather asks if I can find a gas station. I'm looking at the fuel
gauge with alarm but see that there's no need to fill up. Oh. He has to go
to the bathroom.
I've put four gallons of gas into the tank and am cleaning the windshield
while Jesse is getting my change back from the attendant. Grandfather seems
to be taking a long time. I remember what happened at One-white-horse's
cabin. Grandfather had nearly ran from the jeep after we returned from
Easter Sunday's church service. One-white-horse and I were taking a walk
outside to look over his land. When we returned to his cabin, grandfather
wasn't there. I'm thinking now that he was sitting in the outhouse for a
good spell.
Jes returns. He's looking around with concern. :Can you go check on your
grandfather?: I'm worried about him too. A truck honks behind me wanting
their turn at the pump. I get back into my truck and pull around to the side
of the station.
There's a guy pounding on the men's room door. He's saying something to
Jesse. I rush out of the truck to find out what's going on.
"Like I've told this kid, you're going to have to wait your turn. Some
old fart is taking his time in there." He tries turning the knob. "Hey! There
are people out here waiting!"
"Be patient," I ask in calm tone. The man glares at me as if there's gonna
be trouble in a moment. I'm sizing him up. He's heavy set, wearing stained
overalls and a shirt that shows more wrinkles than an old woman's face. I
Glean that he's a trucker on a long haul by the looks of him, that tired look
in his eyes and whiskers after four days of growth.
"Aaahs? Tsaniita piiwa? Kitai ko pohpa, sah. Nitsikoh et Sah-kee-otokan."
Jesse spoke through the door's vent asking grandfather if he's alright,
to not be afraid and that I'm here.
"Fuckin' Indians!"
The man pounds his fist on the door near my lover's head that startles him
bad. Anger fills me. "Back off!"
"Yeah? What you going to do!"
:Jes. Go to the attendant and ask him for a key to the restroom. Say that
you're worried about your grandfather in there.:
:Don't cause trouble, Mike!:
:Not unless he does first. Now, go!:
After a moment's hesitation, Jesse runs off. The trucker faces me with
violence in his eyes. I lift my opening hands in a peace gesture. The man
smiles wickedly. We both stand our ground where I force myself to remain
calm. It's a standoff. At least he's not banging on the restroom door.
:The attendant doesn't have a key!: Sends Jesse. :He's given it to my
grandfather. Are you alright?:
:Yes. I want you to go to the truck. Don't run, but stand there calmly and
wait. Don't say anything to the trucker.: I'm slowly walking towards the
restroom door. Through the vent, I call out to grandfather. "Are you okay?"
There's the sound of a lock being turned. Relief fills me when grandfather
opens the door and steps out.
"About time, old man."
The trucker rushes into the restroom and slams the door hard. I'm offering
grandfather my arm. Jesse sees us and he runs from the corner of the station
to join us.
"Grandfather?"
"I'm alright," he mutters.
The old man leans heavily onto my arm. Jes gets on the other side of him
and we help him walk back to the truck. He's set down on the passenger's side
seat. I'm looking for signs of pain on his face but it's expressionless. A
key is put into my hand.
"Can you return this for me?" asks grandfather.
I'm nodding. After a glance at Jesse, I run to the entrance of the gas
station to return his key. :Get into the truck with your grandfather.: I ask.
:Close and lock both the doors.:
After seeing the attendant, I'm quick to return to the truck. Jes reports
that the trucker hasn't come out yet. Grandfather unlocks my door and I slip
in, start the engine and take off for the exit with much relief.
"What happened, grandfather?" Jesse asks.
"I had a fainting spell. That's all."
"You haven't eaten since yesterday! I'm sorry we forgot about you."
"Charms A Bird gave me some jerky this morning but it must have been too
spicy and upset my stomach."
:Let's find a place to eat, love.:
:I'm gonna.: All I've had to eat since yesterday was a stick of jerky too.
My stomach is growling at me for something substantial to fill it. Near the
highway, there's a restaurant on my right. I'm pulling in and park the truck
near the door. Jesse helps his grandfather inside.
I'm spooning whip cream around my mug of hot chocolate. Jes takes my glass
of water with my blessings since he's already drunk his down. Coffee is set
before grandfather, untouched. I don't know if that's because he thinks it's
still too hot or he's changed his mind about drinking it on an upset stomach.
We're waiting for our orders to arrive.
"You acted well, Short Hair."
I turn to grandfather. "For what?"
"You kept your peace back there."
Oh. I'm shrugging my shoulders. Something that trucker said returns to me.
He obviously doesn't like Indians when he swore. I think that a lot of white
folks around here think of them as being beneath them like how I thought of
blacks when I grew up in Indiana. They lived in ghettos, drove run down cars
and looked dirty (from not washing their hair that gave off a bad smell).
Many Native Americans in Montana live on reservations in run-down shacks or
trailers. They don't have good jobs. The men wear their hair long and as
I've seen from Jesse this morning, don't like washing it that often. It can
smell. If that had been an old black man taking his time in the restroom and
I heard that trucker say "Fuckin' Nigers!" when he banged on the door, would
I have laughed at his plight? Maybe. That's a sad thought.
The food arrives. I'm having a stack of pancakes with a side of eggs,
bacon and sausage. The waitress even remembered to bring me a large glass of
milk. Jesse is having oatmeal. And not surprisingly, so is his grandfather.
We pray silently for a moment. I'm tearing into my pancakes (soaked in syrup)
while they eat their hot cereal plain. No sugar, applesauce or bananas are
added as I've done in my youth to make it taste better.
All three of us are busy chowing down. No talk even between bites. I'm
really enjoying my pancakes and eggs. Sips of milk are taken instead of
gulping since I don't want Jesse to order another glass for me. He would,
I know. When he glances down at my meat plate, I offer him to take some.
:No thanks, love.:
That doesn't stop me from putting a sausage onto the edge of his bowl.
Jesse sighs, returning it to my plate. :You need to eat more than oatmeal!:
I put the sausage back onto his bowl. He returns it politely so in play, I
toss it into his bowl where it sinks from sight. Grandfather looks at us.
"I didn't want it," Jesse explains while rolling his eyes.
"He's gotta eat more. I'm worried about how thin he is!"
Grandfather shakes his head. "I know better than to get myself in the
middle of a domestic squabble." He turns his attention back to eating.
:I'm sorry, Jes. I shouldn't tell you what to do.:
:That's right!:
Jesse dips into his oatmeal and returns the sausage to my plate. To my
surprise, he grabs my piece of bacon and chomps down on it with a sly grin.
"Have more!" I'm looking over at grandfather. "If you want, that is." The
old man ignores us, neither offering approval or scolding us for acting up.
Jes sets the rest of his bacon over the rim of his bowl. He returns to eating
his oatmeal. I cut another tender piece from my pancakes and roll it around
in the syrup before eating it. Hmmm.
Grandfather finishes his bowl of oatmeal. He sips coffee, leaning back
heavily into his seat with eyes nearly closed. I can tell that he's weary.
:Jes? Is your grandfather alright?:
Jesse looks. :I think so, love. He's only resting after his meal.:
:Do you think he'd like some of my meat?:
:No... The sausage would be too spicy for him especially after eating that
jerky Charms A Bird gave him. His stomach is very sensitive. Winna knows how
to cook for grandfather and I remember him saying that mom was nearly as good
a cook as his wife. That's high praise coming from him.:
I remember grandmother's meals. Nothing too spicy. She really knew how to
cook well. It strikes me that I've never met that woman when she was alive.
Everything that I know about her comes from Living Jesse's memories after
our Passing Rite when we rested in her bedroom.
I'm about to drink down the last of my milk when I remember that piece of
sausage. It's sitting in a pool of oatmeal. After scraping some off against
the plate's edge, I consume it in two bites. Jesse gives me the eye. I'm
drinking my milk with a smile forming on my lips.
:What is it, love?:
:Nothing.: My smile doesn't fade. Grandfather said that it was a squabble
between us he didn't want to get in the middle of. I'm realizing that Jes and
I don't fight. Well. Hardly ever, that is. We're always so sweet and sugary
to each other. Enough to give anyone a tooth ache! But that's what it means
to be a couple. To take the good with the bad. I'm seeing more independence
in my lover as he gains confidence in himself as a man. Wind-go-through-his-
hair did too. He was more often challenging Chris about everything when
nearing his initiation as a brave. They even had heated fights over stupid
things yet they made up afterwards and seemed the closer because of it.
Owopspec knew better than to get himself in the middle of our 'squabbles'.
It's no wonder that he became a shaman.
Our waitress returns. She asks if there's anything more we'd like to have
(everyone declines) and sets the check in front of me. Hmm. I am going to pay
for it but she figured I was instead of any of the Indians. Rather assuming
of her. I'm surprised that Jes doesn't comment on what I've been thinking.
Oh. That's right, he can't peek in my head anymore. I am glad. What surprises
me is how I seem to miss that though that's probably because I'd gotten used
to having my thoughts being an open book to my lover. No more! I don't have
to be on guard when I'm lusting over one of his male relative or having
moments of weakness and doubt that shames me in front of Jesse. I was never
able to peek inside his head. Not unless he let me. Normal couples don't
have to put up with weird things like we have. But then, they can't Share
themselves in thoughts, feelings and in spirit as we have. I wouldn't trade
that away for anything to have a 'normal' relationship with Jes. What we have
is special.
We're back on the road. My stomach is feeling very content and that comes
from more than being filled with good food. I didn't realize that all my
worryin' was speeding me towards an ulcer. Chris must have been suffering
from one too because he was often in the shaman's lodge with stomach pains.
Charms A Bird Healed us both. What a wondrous gift! and with a sharp pang, I
realize that he could have done something for grandfather. I'm Sending this
to Jesse to see what he thinks.
:Healing is a gift that comes from our Father!: Jesse Answers. :I'm glad
that Charms A Bird 'put the hands' on you to cure your ulcer, but love. You
shouldn't blame yourself for not asking him to cure grandfather. It's a thing
he could not have done or rather, would not have done. Grandfather is old.
He's lived a long life and looks forward to his rest Above.:
:Can't Charms A Bird help grandfather with other troubles he suffers from
like his delicate stomach? I've just learned that he has fainting spells
after what happened at the restroom. If Charms A Bird could Heal his ailments
coming from old age, he'll live longer and see you through your training.:
:Love. You speak as if we will see Charms A Bird again.:
I'm Feeling sadness from my lover along with a sharp emotion he clamps
down on. Is there a secret Jes is keeping from me about Charms A Bird?
"Pull the truck over!" shouts grandfather.
I'm startled into action. I step on the brakes and pull over to the
median, coming to a swift stop. "What's wrong?" I shout.
Grandfather reveals a graven face. He gestures for Jesse to get out.
After looking into my left view mirror for traffic, I open my door and slip
out with dismay. What's wrong? The old man is scurrying back down the road.
Jes and I chase after him, wondering where's he getting off to.
Cars speed past us on the highway. Their swishing sound and wind blow past
us. I'm very worried for grandfather. Where is he going? He walks onto the
highway and I cry out in alarm! Jesse sprints ahead to pull him back to
safety on the median. I quickly join them.
"Grandfather!"
We shouted that in unison. The old man points to something on the road.
I look into the left lane and see what it is. A dead animal. Cars have run
over its body so I can't tell what the poor thing was. I'm turning to Jesse.
:I didn't do that!:
:He knows.:
"Short Hair. My feet are too slow but can you go across and bring that
animal back to me?"
"Yes, grandfather." I look out for cars and make the dash across both
northern lanes when it's clear. The mashed body turns my stomach. I think it
was a brown dog. Dried blood and its matted fur tells me that this animal has
been dead for many hours.
:Watch out for the cars!: Jesse mind shouts.
I step into the central dividing line. A car honks menacing at me and
passes within a foot of where I'm standing. Two more cars and a truck follow.
The lane becomes clear. I look across at grandfather who gestures for me to
bring the animal back to him.
After making sure that it's clear, I step back into the lane. I'm kicking
at the flattened carcass with my shoe to lift it from the asphalt. What a
mess! Grandfather wants me to bring it to him but I sure won't carry the
grizzly remains of this dog in my arms. A car zooms past me in the other
lane. Man! I'm gonna get myself killed! I reach down for the dog's tail and
drag its body to the curb where they're waiting. I'm angry at the old man
for asking me to do this crazy thing.
"You are brave, Short Hair. Please forgive an old man's indulgence."
I'm lowering my eyes to hide my dismay from him. Grandfather takes hold of
the animal's tail and drags it into the grass. Then he kneels down beside the
body. It's head has been crushed. Organs were ejected from its chest cavity
and smeared across the left lane. Only three of its limbs remain.
:Love. I understand now,: Sends Jesse. :This poor thing was a wolf. It's
grandfather's animal guide.:
That's why he wanted to get it off the road. My earlier anger is forgotten
and I kneel down beside the old man. Jesse joins us. We watch our shaman
perform a ritual over the dead animal. From a pouch, he draws out pinches of
tobacco and casts it in four directions. He offers words to his animal guide.
From Chris, I know that grandfather's plea is to appease its spirit.
We remain kneeling for a moment of prayer. Grandfather lifts his arms and
he looks directly into the sun. It's an hour or two past noon. He lowers his
head and I think I see tears in his eyes. What a sad expression in his face.
It's as if one of his children are lying here.
After grandfather's ceremony for the fallen wolf, he walks off into the
tall grass to find it a proper resting place. Jes grasps my arm.
:This he will do alone, love.:
I'm nodding with understanding. Jesse sits on the ground to await his
return. The sun shines brightly in the sky and I breathe in the enrapturing
smells of Spring. It makes me feel happy to be alive.
My eyes fall upon a purple flower sticking its delicate head from the
grass. I go to it. Smelling of its fragrance, a strong feeling comes to me
that reminds me of love. I pluck it with much reverence. My fingers caress
its soft petals, feel the thin green stem and deep memory stirs in me.
:What have you found?: Asks Jesse.
Turning to him, my hand opens to reveal the purple flower. I go to Jes
sitting on the ground. I'm kneeling at his side. We exchange glances, my eyes
filled with love for this man. My offer is placed in his long hair. He smiles
back at me. A shy smile, until something stirs from deep within him that
comes into his widening eyes. An expression fills his face that touches my
heart by its familiarity. He remembers.
"Chris had given this flower to Bad-eyes."
"Yes. The Indian brave didn't understand the significants to Christopher's
gift and probably thought it was silly of that white youth to stick a flower
in his hair yet when I gazed at him, my eyes filling with love that I felt
for him, Owopspec understood. He bore the flower with pride after that."
We peer at each other lovingly, Jesse and I. They peer at each other too,
Owopspec and who I was as Chris with love undying. We embrace. A sweet hug
from both couples in the bodies we now wear. Our spirits remember love. I
came to Montana not knowing it was Jesse who drew my heart here. And my
Indian brave. I've found both of them again.
Taking Jesse's brown hand into my own, I remind him of my sweet promise.
"When the Flower Moon comes, I will marry you." Love burst in my heart.
"With flowers in my hair, love."
"Yes." The name of this purple flower comes to me. It's Montana's State
flower which the settlers called the Bitterroot. An appropriate name, I
think. Its delicate purple petals reminds me of Jesse for his spirit is
ever gentle. The 'bitter root' name reminds me of our struggle to be together
against adversity, prejudice and the evil we've faced. My lover stands up.
His long slender arms open in want of another embrace. I gladly give him one.
We notice Grandfather standing at our side. His eyes are bright upon us.
"I am very happy for both of you."
To hear this from our Elder! We embrace grandfather with joy while the
swooshing sounds of cars are passing behind us like an uncaring herd.
We're less than half an hour away from Havre. Jesse has fallen asleep
next to me. I've Felt the fading to his thoughts from my head while holding
his hand. I'm still holding it. A purple flower peeks out from his hair above
his right ear. We will marry this coming month and the joy from that fills my
heart! It's a thing Owopspec never performed with Chris. The People weren't
ready. They may not celebrate when I wed Jesse. It doesn't matter. Like our
former selves, we are already committed to each other in spite of public
recognition of our formal exchange of words. Shaman Comes-the-rain wouldn't
perform the ceremony but Shaman He-who-runs-up-mountains will.
I peer over at grandfather. He's looking ahead through the windshield at
what must be familiar landscape to him. He's returning home. I feel this too.
Something has been nagging at me. Now that my lover is asleep, I can clear
my head to allow its persistent whispering to be heard. It has something to
do with what grandfather said earlier about being proud of me. Yeah. He
should be 'cause these last three weeks have been a real bitch! I'm surprised
at myself. I glance at Jes, relieved that he's deep asleep. I'm glad that
we've met but all this stuff that's happened, is still happening to me has
been hard to deal with. If it weren't for his love, I'd have flown back to
Indiana where they don't know about Indian magic.
I'm tapping out my frustration on the steering wheel. Something has been
bothering me ever since we removed that dead wolf from the road. It was a
good thing we did for it. Grandfather sought to ease its spirit. I'd seen
his sorrow as if he were kneeling beside one of his own children...
My eyes widen when an understanding comes. That wolf! It means something
more to grandfather than what I had first realized. A car had struck it. More
cars ran over its body until I couldn't recognize what it had been. The same
could be said of the Blackfoot. Chris saw them as a free happy People. As
Mike, I realize how unrecognizable they've become in this modern time. White
folks had trodden over them in the same way those cars rode over that wolf.
Grandfather has tried leading them back into the Light.
I've been trying to walk down the 'good red road'. It's been more like
keeping my balance over a narrow mountain pass. One false step and I'll fall.
Jesse has helped balanced me. I realize that him not being able to peek on
my thoughts has removed his immediate support when I'm scared by Indian
magic yet we're still Connected. Not as closely as it has been.
I question grandfather's earlier praise for me. It's undeserved. He said
that I'd have helped his tribe even if I weren't trying to win the love of a
man. I'm not so sure. Winna's right about me. She asked me why I was helping
her People and it's true that I've been doing so mainly because of her son.
Grandfather had ended his praise for me by asking me something. What was it?
'I ask you to open your heart to the People as well.'
"Inspired One," I mutter in the old tongue. That's caught the old man's
attention. "My eyes have been too keen on the sun in my life." I'm looking at
Jesse. "Your words have opened my eyes to others. They are many in need of
whatever I can offer them and much can I learn from them. I want to be worthy
of your trust in me, grandfather."
"Hmm. It is so that your eyes have been opened to this truth, Short Hair.
Your former self only had eyes for his warrior. He did love him yet blinded
he was to all else and that is why the People couldn't accept him as one of
them. I believe that you will if your heart is given over to them as well."
Our words sound very noble. His were honest but I was speaking mine as
how I'd want grandfather to think of me. To become more than what Chris had
achieved during the three years he lived amongst the Blackfoot. I've only
known some of them for mere weeks. How hard I have tried to be liked by them!
To prove that my love for Jesse was true and that I wasn't taking advantage
of an 'innocent kid'. They're always thinking the worst of me because my skin
is white. My heart is good! How many times do I have to prove this to them?
Go to jail? Die at the hands of Eli Kie again and have some asshole speak ill
over my body that it's no great loss because I'm not really Blackfoot?!
Something breaks in me from anger.
A brown hand is pulling over my steering wheel. Tears sting my eyes and
I'm finding it hard to see where I am. My foot lifts off the gas pedal from
being Asked to by a frightened yet commanding voice. Jesse's.
I'm startled by a car's horn blasting on my left so I turn my steering
wheel sharply to the right to avoid getting hit. My eyes are unfocused. Did
I fall asleep? The truck is stopped on the median. Cars whoosh by harmlessly.
"Mike!"
Jesse has his arms tight around me. I'm looking down into his tense face
that turns to an expression of relief. "What happened?"
"You..." Jesse can't say anymore.
I'm Sensing that my lover is very worried about me. Something happened.
"These two days have worn on you more than I had realized," answers
grandfather. "I am sorry."
My eyes shut when a sharp pain is felt behind them. I'm gasping.
"... wrong with him, grandfather? Can you help!"
My pain goes away like the flipping of a light switch. I feel a hand
across my brow. That's gotta be grandfather because both of Jesse's hands
are locked beneath my left armpit. Shame fills me. I'm looking out my window
to avoid their eyes.
"Why don't you go stretch your legs?" asks grandfather. "That'll help
clear your head."
I'm opening my door. After checking on my left view mirror for cars, I
scoot out after Jesse releases me from his arms. I walk towards the rear of
the truck and head for the median. The grass beyond is shoulder high. My feet
take me through them, on and on until the sound of cars fades from my ears.
The sun feels good on my neck. I'm wandering amongst the tall grass that
roll like lake waves, a wayward ship have I become without a destination.
Where have I been sailing from? Not a home port. I can't return to the way
things were nor would I want to. Yet this new life is hard! It was destined
that I would live amongst the Blackfoot and I rail against my lack of choice.
Jesse hasn't Called out to me, I realize. He'd tell me that I've been
acting silly. I have been. Chris comes up too strongly in me sometimes. He
and I may be of the same spirit but we are two different people. Well, kind
of. What I mean is that he was only a teenage when his whole life changed by
living amongst the Blackfoot. At least he was given a choice. Chris tried
clinging to the ideals and values from his white upbringing that clashed with
the ways of his new People. They saw this in him. Being with Owopspec in a
way not acceptable by the tribe caused Chris to become the source of their
disgust, hatred and suspicion. I don't want this happening to me!
My feet have stopped. I'm looking around for a landmark. A fence, building
or a road but find none. Only the endless grass surround me. To go on alone
would be foolish while behind me, I have a trusted companion. Oh, Jesse!
I find my way back through the trampled grass. What Christopher learned
about tracking helps since as Mike, I'd have quickly lost my way. The sound
of cars returns to my ears. Relief fills me. I pause a moment to seek another
kind of relief by leaving a wet spot soaking into the ground. Swift are my
feet back to my lover. Chris made his choice to be with Owopspec and I have
to believe that I'd chosen Jesse of my own free will instead of rejoining an
old love. The Blackfoot are my People now. Okay? I'm gonna learn from my
former self's mistakes and do better this time around by opening myself to
their ways and customs. I'll use my good Christian upbringing to give me
strength and win People over to who I am as a person through example and
I'll strive to accept Native beliefs. Not reject them out of hand as 'savage
ignorance' Chris had done.
When I walk up to the truck, Jesse opens the driver's side door with a
timid expression on his face. I'm smiling back at him. :Sorry about worrying
you, my love.:
:You returned. That's all that matters, love.:
Grandfather is sleeping against the window. We both grin at hearing his
loud snores. Hmm. Seems like he wasn't that concerned about me but I have to
remember that he's seen a lot of young men growing up in his lifetime. He
knows me better than I know myself.
I fasten my seatbelt, start the engine and with Jesse's hand in mine,
continue our great adventure. That's what Mr. Augusten asked me to do. Jes
and I will take one step at a time. Together. If we mind our feet instead of
what lies way up ahead on the road, we'll find our way in life. I know this!
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