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SHAMAN-WILLOW-BIRD-3 "Shaman Willow Bird" series
Shaman Willow Bird (part 3) Copyright 2001 by Vince Water
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* "Shaman Willow Bird" 6/01 *
* (part 3) *
I step back from Crying Loon to look fully upon him, his male beauty.
The boy returns my gaze with a knowing grin. He has nice black eyes. Love and
utter trust shines out from them. His oval face is framed with long flowing
hair that falls down his slim shoulders to a flat chest without a man's
muscular development. My eyes roam lower.
The boy's skin glows from the firelight. Perspiration covers his belly.
I breathe in his attractive scent, sweat mingled with male bodily odors. His
tuft of dark groin hair catches my eyes. Below hangs his pole, limp over his
balls but a nice size for his age. Crying Loon is only a few years from being
named a brave. He has already performed as a man with his body.
Ah, I have many sweet memories of this boy. The naked things we've done
in the woods... our tender kisses, his slim body in my arms making love to me.
Sticking into my butt or allowing my lusty release in his. Crying Loon is such
a willing youth! We've satisfied all our needs together.
The boy grins under my loving gaze. Is he thinking about me, too?
I'm distracted by Smiles A Lot stumbling around the lodge. His arms are
gathering things he needs for the cleansing ritual. Crying Loon seems not to
notice. His bright eyes are peering up at me. Smiling. I twirl my fingers in
a gesture for the youth to turn around. He does so, slowly. My eyes drink in
his nudity. Slim hips. His lower curves come into view, glowing from the
firelight. I'm tempted to reach down and take his butt into my hands.
I force my eyes lower. Crying Loon has long legs, kissed by the summer
sun. They're marred by thorn pricks. A paste covers them to ease the boy's
pain, healing from Smiles A Lot that has brought them closer together. This
night may see them consummating their new love.
Thinking about that has given me an erection. It strains within the front
of my breechclout. If the boy is willing, Smiles A Lot will be first to take
him into his arms. The young shaman's first sexual experience with a youth. I
know how sweet that can be! I'll embrace my young lover afterwards to show
that my feelings for him haven't changed.
Crying Loon continues turning around until he's facing me again. There's
a fierce expression in the boy's eyes. His body has grown with male strength,
his pole stands along his groin. A very exciting display. His foreskin has
pulled back to reveal an oozing knob. I breathe in its sweetness.
I catch Crying Loon glancing at the bulge in my breechclout. He gives me
a sly, knowing grin. I stick out my middle finger in the 'hard male' gesture
and he soundly pats his butt. Love bursts in my heart for this willing boy!
I'm glad that he's chosen me to teach him the varied rites of the Mahyee-na.
We have risked much because of it. He has proven to be a sweet lover, quick to
learn my lessons of male pleasuring but he is still young. Are there doubts in
him about what we've done together? Big Horn helped me accept what I am. It's
a different path than what most youths will follow into manhood.
Our eyes meet. There's pleading in them and I'm tempted to kiss the boy's
trembling lips but that would quickly lead to something more so I dare not!
His rite awaits. We'll embrace our lusty needs afterwards.
"Ah. Coo-dly upt nab-en," breathes Smiles A Lot to himself.
I smile at the young shaman. Though I don't understand his words, I can
imagine that he's excited by the boy's appearance. Crying Loon lowers his eyes
sheepishly. Smiles A Lot continues staring at him, nearly losing his grip of
a heavy clay pot so I take hold of it before it's dropped. A liquid sloshes
within; sun water?
Smiles A Lot stops grinning. His expression turns serious when he lifts
a buffalo scrotum rattle and begins shaking it. He walks a circle around where
we stand, feet marking the dirt. Chanting. After four passes, he turns to face
us. A gesture is given me to douse the boy so I lift the clay pot over his
head and release some of its contents. Liquid runs down Crying Loon's body,
his wet hair dripping into his eyes.
A bundle of sage is rubbed over the youth: face, chest, arms, belly,
groin, butt and his legs. I feel the spray of cool water. Low words are
spoken. Smiles A Lot gently turns the boy's ass towards the fire. On his
knees, he pulls Crying Loon's cheeks apart. Peers inside. The boy's face burns
with embarrassment.
A small stone is pressed against the boy's hole. Smiles A Lot keeps it in
place with his thumb while his hands tighten around Crying Loon's cheeks, a
gesture for the youth to clench his fetish within. It's a strange rite. What
medicine is the young shaman trying to accomplish for the boy?
Before I can ask, Smiles A Lot stands up with his eyes lifted to Him in
prayer: low, strange sounding words. Crying Loon also lifts his head towards
the smoke hole. My silent plea is given: 'Oh, Wah-Conda! Please cleanse this
youth of evil and protect him in Your loving Hands.'
After our prayers are given, Smiles A Lot turns to me for more sun water.
I pour it into his cupped hands. He startles me by emptying them over my head.
A coolness is felt over my face, neck and shoulders. Sage is rubbed over many
parts of my body. He loosens the rear fold of my breechclout to expose my butt
and as he had done for the boy, my rear end is turned towards the fire so that
he can peer within. Crying Loon studies my face for embarrassment. I stick my
tongue at him while enduring the examination of my butt hole. My composure
breaks down when I hear the young shaman's thoughts in my head.
'I see signs of forced penetration, Willow Bird.'
Embarrassment fills me. My thoughts fly back to those Shew-owa warriors
who'd taken me prisoner on the plains. I was sexually used by Crumobia and his
lover, Heskiawanno. Almost, I can feel my butt pained by their brutal rapes.
Something hard and round is pushed between my cheeks. Smiles A Lot has
put a medicine stone against my hole and his tight hands around my butt asks
that I keep it clenched within. He stands up. Another prayer is given unto Him.
I try listening to the young shaman's words but they are softly spoken and in
a language that I can't understand.
Smiles A Lot grips my shoulder. His left hand reaches for Crying Loon's
shoulder and he sends his thoughts into our heads.
'Keep those stone fetishes in your butts during the rite. The evil acts
done to you will be drawn out.'
Crying Loon gives me a worried glance. I force a smile onto my lips to
calm the boy. Smiles A Lot lifts the heavy clay pot from the ground and places
it in my hands. A gesture is given me to pour sun water over his head. I do so.
The young shaman rubs sage over himself to complete the physical cleansing of
his ritual. I notice that no stone is stuck into his butt.
The air fills with thick sweet smoke. I realize that Smiles A Lot has
tossed his bundle of sage into the fire. He takes the clay pot from my hands
and drops it to the ground at our feet. His hands return to both of our
shoulders. I hear his thoughts in my head.
'Open yourselves to the Light!' asks Smiles A Lot. 'With our Father's
strength, we can face evil and overcome it. Willow Bird, Show us what harm
the Trickster has done to you and those that you love.'
I'm surprised by this. I thought that Crying Loon was the one needing to
be cleansed but I'll do as Smiles A Lot has asked. My thoughts fly back to
earlier this summer when Big Horn and I encountered evil in the woods. It's
difficult to relive what the vile Trickster had done to me. Especially in
front of others but I do so. Images of what happened fills my head.
I remember spying on the Trickster from a bush. He only appeared to be a
strange boy, his nude body covered in fire ash. A red stripe went down each of
his butt cheeks. My curiosity of him had brought me right into the Trickster's
hands. He had grabbed me from behind. His high-pitched voice was like a sly
coyote's when he asked me things: if my sweet body had ever been taken by a
man for his pleasure. I tried calling out to Big Horn for help. He struck,
knocking me out. It was night time when I awakened with an aching butt.
Big Horn found me in the dark and had taken me to a safe camp where he'd
guard over me. Tend to my embarrassing injury. The Trickster managed to lure
him away with a trick so that he could have his way with me yet again. Another
painful joining of our bodies! But worse, my spirit was succumbing to him. His
experienced hand offered my dick a pleasurable release. My fear of death had
also kept me in his power.
When I realized that only fear bound me, I sprang from the Trickster's
clutches and called out to Big Horn. My brave came with his spear in hand.
Almost too late since the Trickster had my Wah-ha knife about to strike me
dead! Instead, he was struck. I remember feeling the Trickster's thrashings
over the ground when my hand joined Big Horn's around the death spear planted
in his butt. It was a most satisfying thing. His death was only of the body.
He had warned of taking vengeance upon us, that his loosened spirit would roam
the earth until he found us. And it was proven so.
My Big Horn was driven to madness. At his ending, he lost his sight and
had clawed through my mother's tipi to try finding me before the warriors of
our tribe stopped him. He died then. I was far away, at the Wanderer's Cliffs
undergoing a fasting rite to find my animal helper. I didn't know that my
monedo had died until finding his raised platform in the sacred clearing of
our dead.
Tears come into my eyes. My hand feels empty without Big Horn's that he
promised would never let me go. Oh, when will my feelings of woe and loss ever
go away?! A small hand slips into mine. A stronger hand comes around ours to
grip me. I feel their support, a sharing of my sorrow. Smiles A Lot soothes me
with his thoughts.
'We can never replace who you've lost, Willow Bird yet others can offer
love so you will never be alone again.'
'I'm here for you!' adds Crying Loon.
My tears end. Already, I feel my cheeks drying from the heat of the fire.
I'm asked to continue my healing rite. My mind opens to them with another
encounter of evil: Tash-o-gwa. He was not yet a Trickster but his vile acts
harmed me and a little boy I've come to love. Running Wolf was nearly taken by
him as a sacrifice for his Dark Master.
Tash-o-gwa was a murderer even before he came to my tribe. The youngest
son of the Spear-bearing Tribe's Chief who had accompanied Snarling Bear's
peace party was killed and left to rot on the plains. I think it was a ruse
used by Tash-o-gwa to deflect suspicion of Running Wolf's rape from himself
onto that missing boy. The truth of that murder was revealed unto me by a
vision. Tash-o-gwa was well on his way to a path of evil.
Another youth who has been harmed comes to mind. Yellow Hair was raped by
Tash-o-gwa and my silver ring stolen from him. Fire-singes-his-hair's son was
kidnapped and ritually murdered. Our shaman was attacked and nearly killed.
Who will be next?
My head empties of thoughts. I'm left feeling weary but the cleansing rite
has helped heal me. Smiles A Lot asks that Crying Loon share his pain with us.
The boy is slow to surrender his account. He's gently coaxed by Smiles A
Lot who helps him to begin by saying that he wasn't at fault for being tricked
into love making when the Trickster wore the guise of Big Horn. Crying Loon
tries accepting that. After a nervous glance, the boy takes us back to when he
was lying naked amongst the cat tails.
'A shadow fell over me,' thinks Crying Loon. 'I was pleasuring myself in
hand and called out to Big Horn, hoping that it was him who was spying on my
act. The man scooped me from the ground and kissed me, something bitter was
passed from his mouth to mine. I remember flying through the woods as if
clutched in the talons of a large black bird. I was dropped over a fallen oak.
The man I thought was Big Horn kissed over my body. Hungrily! He sucked on my
dick to drink from me.'
Crying Loon pauses. I sense embarrassment from the youth but he continues
his account after gentle coaxing from Smiles A Lot.
'My body was turned around. He stuck into my butt and it really hurt but
I wanted Big Horn's love to fill me, to help my body mature. After his cock
was satisfied, he took my dick in hand while I laid over him, still impaled.
He filled my butt with his lust again after I rained to my belly. The man
gathered up my sperm and drank it.'
The boy's account reminds me of what the first Trickster had done to me.
He liked fucking my ass but too, he drank my seed as if it were sustenance for
him. The Trickster used bodily pleasure to trap his prey. No attempt was made
for love, only to bind vulnerable spirits to the Darkness.
'I don't know why he left me alive,' continues Crying Loon. 'I've heard
rumors that Fire-singes-his-hair's son was raped and worse! before he was
murdered. Why didn't the Trickster kill me?'
'He didn't kill me either,' I think to Crying Loon. 'The Trickster
enjoyed having forced sex so he delayed sacrificing me to his Dark Master.
That gave Big Horn his chance to come to my rescue and slay that evil man.'
'I almost wish... he had killed me.'
Smiles A Lot tries soothing the boy. Emotions mostly, he assures Crying
Loon that it was not his fault. Evil is very tricky and chaotic. I also try
comforting the youth. The guilt I've felt for living beyond Big Horn has been
hard to deal with. Oh, I would have died for my lover if I could!
'Big Horn would have wanted you to live,' assures Smiles A Lot. 'It was
his spear blow that killed the Trickster's first body and that loosened evil
spirit sought him out. Eventually, he found another willing host to live
through.'
'Tash-o-gwa? Why didn't he resist being taken by evil?' asks Crying Loon.
'That boy embraced Darkness!' explains Smiles A Lot. 'I sense your concern
for being turned into a Trickster yourself but Little Fox Eyes made that
decision for himself. To serve his Dark Master.'
'Why would anyone want to turn evil, denying their spirit's entrance into
the Above after they died?'
'Becoming a Trickster grants much power. And it is very difficult to slay
one as Big Horn discovered to his ill.'
My head fills with the terrible things that happened to Big Horn when he
was slowly driven to madness by the Trickster's loosened spirit. It had begun
with headaches. We'd make love and Big Horn would become weak and in pain at
climax, as if our joining angered the Trickster. When we left the Moss-bowl
Tribe, Big Horn's headaches worsened. It drove him to attacking me in the
woods as if not remembering who I was. We returned to the safety of our tribe
but the Trickster's spirit followed us. He took away Big Horn's sight. Even
our shaman couldn't heal that nor exorcise the evil trying to kill my monedo.
'Your Big Horn fought hard,' thinks Smiles A Lot. 'The Darkness-that-comes
must have known what your lover carried within him, that power from the
Grandfather side of the Mahyee-na that if He could subvert, would have made
Big Horn a very powerful Trickster in service of evil.'
'The Trickster's spirit was trying to possess him?!' A terrible
understanding comes to me. It explains my lover's actions, his growing madness
and why he suffered so much at the end.
Fear is felt coming from Crying Loon. Smiles A Lot comforts the boy while
I'm trying to deal with my painful revelation. Oh, Big Horn! I didn't know...
A mother's comfort and love in my head helps push the darkness away. My
sense of loss turns to anger. Hatred for the Trickster and his Dark Master!
'Why does evil seek out those like us,' asks Crying Loon. 'The Mahyee-na?'
'Snarling Bear explained that to me,' thinks Smiles A Lot. 'He told me
that we of the Mahyee-na are often shunned by our tribe for what we are, how
we love those of our sex. That feeling of rejection makes boys especially
vulnerable to being corrupted by evil. I think that's what happened to Little
Fox Eyes. Snarling Bear was a powerful warrior/shaman of my People and he had
an initiation rite for boys to test them for being Mahyee-na. I proved to be
of that spirit. He helped me come to terms with what I was, to give me inner
strength and instruction on what my life's path should be.'
'Did Snarling Bear try helping Tash-o-gwa?'
'Oh, yes. That boy even became his lover and was in training to become a
shaman of our tribe.'
'Then why did he become a Trickster instead?'
Smiles A Lot is unable to answer the boy. I also don't have any answers to
explain why Tash-o-gwa turned to evil.
The fire pops and hisses during the silence. No thoughts are passed
between us while we clutch each other for support. Smiles A Lot's arms are
around us; I'm facing Crying Loon with our chests pressing together. His small
hands are low around me. I know how he likes touching my butt.
I'm reminded of the stone fetishes against our holes. A strange rite!
Before I can ask Smiles A Lot about it, Crying Loon directs his plea at Smiles
A Lot asking if the ritual is over with. I turn to him with this same thought,
strengthening the boy's question unto him.
'It is my turn to share,' thinks Smiles A Lot.
Emotional pain forewarns us that Smiles A Lot has an account of his own
to give. Crying Loon and I remain silent, yet supportive.
'A summer ago, my father had left our tribe to live with a brave of the
Muddy River People. They had met on the plains as enemies but love grew
between them instead. Snarling Bear had a vision. He Geased me to tell my
father since it concerned him so I journeyed to where he'd struck his tipi
near the Muddy River People. That's where he stayed with his brave, their
relationship barely tolerated by them.
'Big Horn was with his People when I visited with my father. It was the
last time that I saw him. I passed on Snarling Bear's vision, that the coming
moon favored his joining to that brave. He told me about a fatherless youth
that Big Horn was acting as monedo for, a boy he loved. His words helped me in
another quest I undertook but Willow Bird, you already know what I'm talking
about.'
Before Crying Loon can ask, I Send images to the curious boy: Smiles A
Lot meeting me in the river this summer, asking me to stand naked with him in
the place of our dead so he could ritual gift his ring to me for protection
against the Darkness-that-comes. My memory of that rite had been hidden in my
head until Snarling Bear awakened it from me when finding me on the plains.
'You also have the Power to block memories?' asks Crying Loon.
'Yes. I needed to hide my ritual gifting of my ring to Willow Bird until
that time he was ready to learn the truth. My rite was partially sexual; I
didn't want to interfere with what was developing between him and Big Horn.'
I also admit to this ability. 'The Trickster raped Running Wolf with more
than his dick. His evil was smothering the boy almost unto death so I blocked
the worst of his memories...'
'That youth will also need to be cleansed,' thinks Smiles A Lot. 'Willow
Bird embattled the Trickster for control of his spirit and won. But it left
the little boy in shock so I can understand why Willow Bird had to do it.'
'Why did the Trickster block my memories of what he'd done to me?" asks
Crying Loon. 'He also made me forget about Big Horn, what we did together.'
'I don't know,' answers Smiles A Lot. 'It could be that he needed you to
help him get at Big Horn. Unwillingly, of course but that's what a Trickster
is best at. To use others through lying and trickery. I think the Trickster
was after Big Horn's lover as well. Coyote Thief had succumbed to his evil.'
A connection is made in Crying Loon's head. 'Coyote Thief was your
father?'
'Yes. He seeded a squaw in our tribe who's husband was impotent. That man
never learned what his wife had done out of love to satisfy his desire for a
son. I didn't learn the truth of my birth until Snarling Bear initiated me
into the Mahyee-na. My heart was big enough for two fathers.'
'Do you know how your father died?' I reluctantly think to Smiles A Lot.
An image of an elk bull goring the old warrior pops into my head unbidden.
'Yes. Snarling Bear had a vision about Coyote Thief's death. During my
visit with my father, I told him but he'd already Seen that he would die that
winter. He told me that he was glad to have found love with Big Horn before
he would go. His sacred task was to pass the Grandfather side of Mahyee-na to
his brave lover who passed it onto you, Willow Bird. I've already passed the
Grandmother side onto you so that you'll be the next leader of the Mahyee-na.'
I acknowledge what Smiles A Lot has told me. My thoughts turn to Running
Wolf; how I loved him and felt my culminated Power as arrows filling his butt.
He is the One. The next powerful shaman of our tribes and leader of the
Mahyee-na after me.
Confusion is felt coming from Crying Loon. He tries forming questions in
his head but the boy is reluctant to ask them. I'll give him an explanation.
'There are powerful events surrounding me and those of the Mahyee-na', I
explain to Crying Loon. 'As you suspect, being initiated into our society means
more than an acceptance of one's sexual orientation. Snarling Bear understood
this responsibility. Big Horn initiated me but I suspect that he didn't know
everything that he should of.'
'Coyote Thief was to have taught him,' thinks Smiles A Lot. 'Perhaps that
is why the Trickster killed my father, to prevent Big Horn from being trained.'
'My lover didn't demonstrate any shaman abilities.'
'No, Willow Bird. You misunderstood. Big Horn wasn't to be trained as a
shaman but he should have been taught that his responsibilities as Mahyee-na
included looking for signs of this in boys. To help them accept their life's
path so that evil wouldn't corrupt them.
'Will I be safe from evil?' asks Crying Loon.
I tighten my arms around the boy. 'I will always protect you! So long as
you keep love in your heart and deny evil's offer for power over others, you
will remain a good human being.'
'I want to be good!' promises Crying Loon.
'I ask that you keep what you've learned about the Mahyee-na a solemn
secret,' commands Smiles A Lot.
'Yes, Crying Loon. You know much about our society even though you've not
been initiated.' I feel the boy pinch my left butt cheek.
'Didn't we touch butts in the first rite of the Mahyee-na?'
My fond memory in the woods with Crying Loon fills my head. Our past
boyhood hatred for one another had turned to love. He proved himself being of
my spirit so we had touched butts. And much more.
'What Willow Bird had done with you was only a test,' Smiles A Lot
explains. 'It is the first rite but a true initiation comes when you near that
time of being named a brave. Solemn oaths are sworn to keep the rites of the
Mahyee-na from being known by others.'
'I swear to keep everything that I've learned about the Mahyee-na secret,'
thinks Crying Loon. 'Why must I wait until my naming year before being fully
initiated?'
'Big Horn explained that to me,' I answer. 'Being Mahyee-na isn't
accepted by our tribe so initiating boys in sexual rites would upset their
parents. My monedo warned me that nothing should be done to make the People
fear those of the Mahyee-na. Their fear would turn to anger against us.'
'You said that I would be initiated before being named a brave!'
'Yes. I know that you are ready, Crying Loon. Let me establish my place
in the tribe and construct a willow bark lodge for the Mahyee-na. You will be
the first to be initiated, my love. I swear it!'
I sense a soaring emotion coming from the boy but too, disappointment. He
must realize that what I've asked could take a few more summers.
'Ah, is my cleansing rite completed?' asks Crying Loon.
Smiles A Lot pulls his arms from us. My ordinary sight returns to my eyes
when I disconnect my thinking from them both. Crying Loon's nude body is
ablaze though his pole hangs sleepily over his balls. I notice my sweaty back,
heated from having stood near the fire pit. Smiles A Lot is crouched at our
feet, filling a wooden mug with sun water from the clay pot.
The mug is raised high in the air. Smiles A Lot prays to Him with strange
words that sounds like pleading. His arms lower. He offers Crying Loon a drink
from the wooden mug. I also take a drink. The liquid is cool and nicely
flavored. It reminds me of flowers on a bright, sunny day. Smiles A Lot is
last to drink. He places the empty mug on the ground and grasps our shoulders.
'We are cleansed,' announces Smiles A Lot. 'Remember always how evil has
harmed you, that you survived and are the stronger for it!'
Smiles A Lot gives us a stern glance. His left hand makes a down-casted
gesture that reminds me of a mother asking her child if he has to poop. I take
his meaning. My legs spread and I allow the stone fetish in my butt to drop.
Crying Loon does the same. Smiles A Lot mashes our stones into the dirt with
his heel. I feel a deep sense of relief.
I nod my head in thanks to what Smiles A Lot has done for us. He gathers
up the clay pot, mug and the buffalo rattle and puts them away. Crying Loon
turns to me with timid eyes. He glances at Smiles A Lot with embarrassment.
Is he having second thoughts about what we'll be doing after our rite?
I touch the boy's face with the palm of my hand. His eyes close when my
thoughts enter his head. 'If you're tired, go to your mother's tipi and sleep.'
'I am a little,' Crying Loon admits. 'No. I'll stay for a while longer.'
'I'm glad. Smiles A Lot has been tending to our shaman and thinks little
of his own needs, ' I hint. 'Did you know that he's never held a boy in his
arms before?'
I feel surprise coming from Crying Loon mixed with sexual excitement. My
dick stirs with life within my breechclout. Smiles A Lot returns to our circle.
My hand clasps his. 'I thank you for performing our cleansing rite. Ah, Crying
Loon says that he can stay for a while longer.'
Smiles A Lot peers down at the boy. Almost, he reaches out to clasp his
hand but reluctance stops him. His thoughts are guarded from me. Why?
Crying Loon peers expectantly at Smiles A Lot but the young shaman is too
shy to take the boy. I pull on the knot in my thong belt, baring my body so
that we can embrace unhindered. His opening arms lift towards me. I step into
them with my arms coming around the youth with love. Our chests meet. I relish
the warmth of his small body on mine. A tightening of our hands. My hard cock
presses against boyish erection, rubbing together with pleasure filling them.
I lower my head against his. Our ears touch. My nose breathes in the boy's
attractive smell.
'Oh, Willow Bird!'
Crying Loon's plea sends my mouth searching for his. My nose runs across
the boy's cheek towards his nose. I feel his hungry pant against my chin. Our
lips find one another, moist and soft, parting when we begin kissing so that
our tongues can slip within. Oh, the joy that comes from being with my boy
lover like this! Mouths together. Kissing. Our frantic hands are pulling our
bodies even closer while below, our dicks set the beat of making sweet love.
'You still want me, Willow Bird!'
'Oh, yes. How could you doubt it?' Crying Loon doesn't answer me. His
frantic body is too busy enjoying my offerings of love. The boy proves that he
needs me desperately. I realize that we've been too long separated from each
other after I came down from the Above.
A reluctant warmth presses onto our sides. I break from my kissing and
turn to Smiles A Lot. He has bared himself in anticipation of joining into our
love making. Crying Loon hasn't paused from it; he's nibbling on my ear while
below, our hard dicks get mashed each time the boy pulls over my butt.
With much reluctance, I loosen my arms from Crying Loon. Smiles A Lot is
given my place in front of the boy, their arms timidly reaching around each
other. I stand at their sides. My hands pull them together into an embrace.
Tender emotions are felt coming from their first joining. I don't intrude
with worded thoughts but add the soaring feelings from my heart to theirs. It
is very sweet! Crying Loon stabs against Smiles A Lot, his small hands lowering
to handle his drum butt, beating over its softness with love's rhythm. I hear
their kissing. With my inner eyes, I See their love growing stronger.
Confidence has replaced their shy reluctance and doubt for each other.
Smiles A Lot is panting. He breaks from kissing the boy so that he can
take in breaths. I'm tempted to press my face against theirs, to kiss both of
them but it's enough to be holding them, to feel their building excitement and
joy for each other. I begin feeling a measure of guilt. Perhaps they should be
given this sweet moment alone.
Heat is felt over my butt. The blazing fire against my back causes beads
of sweat to run down my body, tickling me. I hear the flame's whisperings that
reminds me of women gossiping. Guilt deepens in me. I should try keeping myself
from sharing in their feelings and thoughts, to give the new lovers a measure
of privacy. Burning wood pops and sighs as it's consumed. These are familiar
sounds of home that helps distract me from what the two lovers are doing.
That's proving difficult. Although I'm blocking their thoughts, my arms
feel their sensual dance. I hear kissing. Their low moans of pleasure are
tempting me to share in their love. My cock is throbbing with lust. I feel my
own need to express what's in my heart for them both.
Crying Loon giggles. Something about Smiles A Lot's cock slipping from
his stabbing dick, tickling the boy's belly from its fury. Heavy breathing
comes from the young shaman. His butt is really moving! I lower my hand to
feel over the youth's humping cheeks. His is a steady drum beat.
I'm startled by a sharp gasp from Smiles A Lot. My thoughts turn to him
and I feel his intense male thrills. Surprise comes from Crying Loon, that his
companion's release has come quickly. And so strong. I hear his gulps for air
at the end.
I sense satisfaction in Smiles A Lot; that he's finally completed himself
in the arms of a loving boy. I remember my first embrace with Song Bird in the
river: his shy, brown eyes peering up at me, our slippery bodies rubbing. How
boyhood friendship turned to love with our hearts becoming one. Oh, sweet love!
Nothing I've done since has ever compared to that.
There's still need in Crying Loon. The boy holds his mate patiently until
he's recovered. I open my eyes to see them staring at each other. Lovingly.
My heart soars for them like an eagle's first flight! Smiles A Lot notices,
his eyes turning to me filled with gratitude and complete understanding. His
face comes to mine for a kiss. I welcome his show of affection.
When Smiles A Lot needs to breathe, Crying Loon raises himself on tip
toes so that he can also kiss me. I feel his arms slipping around me. Our
bodies press together in love. Kisses. Below, the boy stabs wetly against my
hard cock. My butt is gripped. He plays me like a drum to release the sweet
sounds of our bodies.
We kiss frantically. My hands keep the youth raised against my chest so
that our dicks can battle equally. Stab after stab of joyous male anger! Sweat
makes our bodies slippery. Crying Loon's chest rubs over mine. I feel his
belly bulge when the boy gulps in air between kisses. Our groin hair becomes
entwined, keeping our slippery dicks from escaping battle. Sexual thrills are
building in us. But what's sweeter is feeling this boy's every emotion. How he
relishes my tight hold around his body, the largeness of my cock sliding over
his pole, him being savage with his hands over my humping butt. We're in a
sweet mating dance. Our drums are beating louder towards a climax.
'Oh, Crying Loon!' I shout in my head. 'You're a sweet boy that I love...
so much!'
'Yes, Willow Bird!'
My body is close to exploding. Crying Loon senses this and rushes his so
that he won't miss climax again. I suck on the boy's tongue, my breath is
forced into his mouth when my dick surges from intense pleasure. I feel my
strong release. Tremendous thrills!
Crying Loon also cums. I feel his sharp thrills with each squirt against
my belly. He shares in my ebbing pleasure while I enjoy his. It's like we're
one mind in two bodies. Both exploding with male joy.
Too soon, our dicks run dry and our pleasure fades away. Crying Loon
gasps for breath. His arms are trembling. I hold the boy close to me until
he's recovered. I'm more used to sex so my body isn't feeling as worn out.
I sense a moment of vulnerability in Crying Loon. His thoughts are
unguarded and open so I search the depths of his spiritual bonding to me. I
can read his surface thoughts.
This is what I discover. Crying Loon loves me with his body and from our
friendship comes trust but something is lacking. Not the same ecstasy I share
with Song Bird. My disappointment is kept hidden from the boy. It's enough
that we've loved. I remind myself that he is still young and our relationship
for each other only newly founded.
Our arms slowly pull from each other. Crying Loon pants for breath, his
wet body revealed to me in the firelight. I step back so that Smiles A Lot can
enjoy looking at the boy as well.
I glance down at myself. The boy's clear seed clings to my belly. Mine is
found running down the youth's chest, into his small clump of groin hair and
collecting with Smiles A Lot's release over his balls. I'm startled when
Crying Loon crouches as my feet. His mouth opens around my oozing cock so that
he can drink what remains in me. The boy's lips pull over my foreskin. It's a
very tickly sensation. When he's satisfied, the youth hungrily searches for
Smiles A Lot's dick. His head bobs over the shaman's groin. Drinking from him.
I laugh when hearing Smiles A Lot gasp. Crying Loon gets to his feet with
a wicked grin. He peers down at himself, his left hand gathering our thick cum
from himself and swirling it over his balls. It's a boy's empowering rite that
I've seen before.
I grasp Crying Loon's shoulder and speak. "From a man's proven loins is
given strength to a boy. It makes us one."
"Ah. You haven't given a squaw a baby, have you Willow Bird?"
I sense Crying Loon's attempt at humor. He's questioning the 'proven
loins' part of my announcement. The only girl that I've seeded is Rain Dancer
but she's too young...
My eyes are pained by a brilliant Light. I'm given a vision: Flower Boy
steps off my legs with a smile on his lips. My body feels weary; drained. When
I look for my spilt seed on Flower Boy's belly, I notice that he has no dick.
He takes flight through the woods before I can ask him about that. Like a busy
bee, my seed is carried to the next flower: a young woman whose face I can't
see in the dark but I sense hope in her heart. Her dream is finally answered.
Sight returns to my eyes. Crying Loon peers up at me with a smile. No. He
didn't share in my vision nor does Smiles A Lot give me any sign that he's
Seen anything. My hand falls from the boy's shoulder. I'm reluctant to share
my vision with them.
My head turns sharply for the door. I thought I'd heard something but the
heavy hide covering remains closed. Crying Loon's eyes widen with fear. He
also realizes that if someone were to enter the lodge, they'd see our
revealing nakedness and know what we've been doing with each other.
I reach down for our breechclouts. A white cloth catches my eye that I
fondly gather into my hands. My belly is wiped with Song Bird's Wah-ha cloth
and Smiles A Lot allows me to dry the front part of his body. I tie my thong
belt loosely around my waist. The chief's flint blade weighs it down.
Smiles A Lot helps dress the boy into his meager flaps. I pull my lengthy
deerskin cloth between my legs, dropping each end over my thong belt which I
tighten. Song Bird's cloth is tucked within, wet against my loins.
"I should leave now," asks Crying Loon with concern on his face.
"Yes. The ritual is done and you've performed well, my love." The boy's
tense expression is softened by my words. He glances at Smiles A Lot with a
big grin. His eyes shine with male relief.
I take the boy by his arm and lead him towards the doorway where his
father is standing guard outside. He gives Smiles A Lot a gesture of farewell.
An idea strikes me, reminding me that I'm going to need Crying Loon's help
tomorrow afternoon.
'Return here later in the morning!' I plead to the youth.
'Why?'
'I have a plan to help rejoin some of our People,' I explain. 'I'll need
your help to divert the attention of our warriors guarding the river.' The boy
yawns sleepily at my side but he nods his head in agreement.
We slip past the door flap and step out into the cold night air. Bending
Arrow is momentarily startled by our unexpected presence.
"My son, I didn't know that you were inside the lodge."
"Only for a little while," answers Crying Loon. His eyes fall from his
father's like a boy who knows he's done something wrong.
Bending Arrow notices. He eyes his son as if looking for something to
scold him about. The man leans closer to the boy and sniffs him. Fear clutches
my heart for what he may detect!
"Ah, he wanted to hear what had gone on in council," I clumsily offer as
an excuse. "He's concerned for Smiles A Lot. What the Split Tribe may do to
him if he's returned."
Bending Arrow nods. It's difficult to read his face in the dark.
"Can you stand guard, Willow Bird? I'm tired and no one has come to
relieve me from this duty."
I give the warrior a nod. Bending Arrow turns from the lodge with his
son following in his heals. I hope that there's no suspicion in the man for
what we've been doing in the lodge.
I breathe in the cold night air. It helps keep me awake. Hardly any tipis
are glowing; their fires have long since burned down to embers. I peer up at
the stars. They twinkle brightly since Grandfather Moon has long since laid
down His sleepy Head. The Starry River flows across night's sky.
My head is feeling weary. I could also use sleep but my duty is to watch
the shaman's doorway. It's an easy, peaceful exercise. Whenever any thoughts
try disturbing me, I quickly chase them away. I'm enjoying the afterglow of
male relief. Smiles A Lot is probably fast a sleep.
When my legs stiffen from fatigue, I make small walks around the lodge.
Light-in-his-steps softly greets me in the dark. He's guarding the other side
of the lodge to prevent an enemy from trying to cut their way in. Our chief
had vowed that the shaman would never again be attacked. That's why there are
always two guards to keep him from harm.
I return to the lodge's doorway, yawning. Whenever I peer up at the
stars, my eyes sense their slow passage across the sky but only when I can
prevent myself from looking too often. Red Rabbit's Eye has nearly set.
My body becomes chilled. Warrior Light-in-his-steps has a shirt to keep
him warm but this guard duty had come to me unexpected. I long to sit before
the fire burning within. Even if it's only embers, the lodge would still be
warmer than outside. I slowly relent to this temptation. I can as easily guard
the lodge's entrance from within. There's a warrior guarding from without.
I quietly slip inside. Smiles A Lot is still awake to my surprise. He's
seated before a blazing fire. He must have fed it more wood because the flames
are dancing almost to his shoulders. I reach out to gather its warmth. My feet
are especially cold.
Smiles A Lot doesn't acknowledge my presence. His eyes are open and
unblinking. I notice that he's staring into the flames. Concentrating. Is he
Fire Speaking? I wait at his side with no intent of disturbing him.
The firelight reveals Smiles A Lot's injuries to my eyes. The cuts and
bruises he suffered at the hands of the Split Tribesmen when they were
torturing him. Anger fills me. If he's returned, their warriors will beat him
again and likely kill him only because he's come from the tribe of our
enemies. They'll give no consideration for the good he's done for my tribe,
how he's cared for our shaman.
'You not go to your mother's tipi to sleep?' gestures Smiles A Lot.
'No. I relieved Bending Arrow from guarding the lodge's door.' A slight
nod comes from Smiles A Lot. 'Ah. Did you See anything?'
'What?'
I point at the dancing flames.
'No. They not ever spoken to me.'
I drop my hand over Smiles A Lot's right shoulder. Before he can hide his
thoughts, I feel sadness and a catch a glimpse of the lodges of his tribe he
was thinking about. 'I feel your sorrow. It must be difficult for you to not
see friends and family again.'
'I made my choice,' answers Smiles A Lot.
I scoot closer to my troubled friend, my arm reaching around his
shoulders to comfort him. 'You'll make a place in our tribe. For healing our
shaman, you've softened the hearts of my People towards you.'
Smiles A Lot shakes his head. 'I worry about those across the river. They
still see me as an enemy and will ask that I be returned to them.'
'I won't let that happen!'
'Remember what I've asked you, Willow Bird. Do not use your powers to
save me! The People would fear you and not accept you as their shaman. Swear
to me that you won't lift your hand against them.'
Smiles A Lot is serious so I glare into his eyes when giving him my oath:
'I won't use my powers to protect you from an ignorant People. But I still
have my voice to try persuading them. If that fails, my body will act as your
shield to their angry blows! I swear that they must kill me before striking
you dead.'
'No, Willow Bird! Fighting them is as bad as if you had used your powers.'
I clutch Smiles A Lot's hand pushing against my chest and gently lower it
to my lap. His trembling hand is taken in mine. 'I will do as you've asked and
not lift my hand against them. But if they mean to beat you, to kill you... I
will be at your side with my arms tight around you not ever letting go!'
I sense fear in Smiles A Lot but he doesn't think against what I've said.
'I have spoken with their chiefs in council before. Allow me to voice the good
that you've done for our shaman, how I need your help in training me and if
that fails, I could announce that we are lovers. That would give their
warriors pause in slaying you for fear of facing my wrath.'
'No, Willow Bird. Fear is not the way of a shaman. You also shouldn't
announce that we're Mahyee-na. Many reject that kind of love between men and
would only harden their hearts against you.'
I grip Smiles A Lot's hand. He is leaving me few options of how to
protect him. Another comes to mind. 'What if I were to sneak you out at night.
That way, my People could explain to the Split Tribe that you escaped.'
'Where would I go? Not back to my own People! No, Willow Bird. I risked
much to be here so that I could train you to use your powers in place of
Snarling Bear. We have that time until your shaman recovers.'
I have to turn away from Smiles A Lot. His sacrifice for me is difficult
to bear!
'You should hate me, Willow Bird. There's a terrible secret that I've
been keeping from you... I could have prevented your father's death.'
I'm shaken by this unexpected admission. Smiles A Lot lowers his eyes. I
sense much shame from him that proves it must be so! All that I know about my
father's capture by the Spear-bearing Tribe comes to mind, his months of
torture until his death when they fed him the red-capped mushroom. I knew that
Smiles A Lot was the boy who was caring for my father during his captivity.
What does he mean that he could have kept my father from being killed?
'I learned things from you father,' explains Smiles A Lot. 'That
strengthened Snarling Bear's hand when he negotiated his trade of that white
boy with your chief. Our warriors also learned how divided and weak your
tribes were. They think of taking your women and horses.'
I nod my head with understanding. 'You were acting for your tribe. In
your place, I'd try to gather information from an enemy. But tell me. How
could you have prevented my father's death?'
Smiles A Lot keeps his eyes lowered in shame. 'I was only a young boy at
the time yet Snarling Bear had put your father's care in my hands since I was
being trained as a shaman. He'd be tortured and I tended his wounds so that
the sport could be prolonged. I grew to know him and feelings arose in me for
the man he was. Sexual feelings.'
I'm stunned as if struck by a tomahawk blow. 'Did my father?!'
'No, Willow Bird. He would not return my love and that angered me! When
Snarling Bear learned that his People grew tired of torturing your father and
wanted to feed him the red-cap, he spoke against it. Our warrior/shaman was a
man of peace. He asked me to sneak your father out of camp but I would not.
His rejection had hurt my heart and I wanted him to die.'
I watch Smiles A Lot crumple at my feet with his confession given. He's
expecting anger from me, my blows of hatred to land on him. Instead, I scoop
the boy up and hold him against my breast. Tears of anguish fill my eyes. We
both cry out our pain, exchanging guilt for forgiveness and regret turning to
understanding. Now I know why he expects to be returned to the Split Tribe.
'You were not responsible for my father's death.'
'I should have tried to let him escape,' answers Smiles A Lot.
I wrap my thoughts tight within myself. Oh, to have had my lost father
back! To be raised by him as any son needs his father. Maybe I wouldn't have
become Mahyee-na... No. That is wrong. My spirit was leading me to that path
even before my father went away. Big Horn became my second father; my monedo
who helped me accept what I am.
Smiles A Lot notices that I've kept my thoughts from him. I sense his
fear, that I may not forgive what he could have done for my father. My
assurance fills him. 'If Snarling Bear wanted him to live, he would have done
that himself and not put that task in the hands of a boy.'
'His chiefs suspected that Snarling Bear might go against their wishes so
that's why he asked me to do it.'
Smiles A Lot's arms tighten around me. He thinks that I may let him go.
'If you had helped my father to escape, your tribe could have banished you for
helping an enemy or maybe they would have fed you the red-capped mushroom.'
'That was what I feared,' admits Smiles A Lot, 'but if your father had
returned my love, I would have done anything to save him!'
My heart is struck by Smiles A Lot's sincerity. If only my father could
have loved him! He would have returned to my mother's tipi and raised me into
manhood! But no... I managed to grow up without him. Big Horn became my second
father and he did well with raising me.
Smiles A Lot trembles in my arms. I sense his growing fear, that I'll
reject his help to train me as a shaman or to be his lover because of what
he's told me. My head drops to his. I rub my hair against him and hope that
he'll hearken to my next thoughts.
'My father wasn't Mahyee-na. The Spear-bearing warriors were the ones who
killed him but that allowed you to be trained by Snarling Bear as a shaman.
Our shaman needed your healing and I will be trained by you. You have atoned
for not acting in the past.'
Smiles A Lot lifts his eyes to me. I nod my head so that he can see my
forgiveness.
'You still cannot be allowed to use your powers to save me!'
'You've heard my vow.' I continue holding Smiles A Lot though my thoughts
are guarded. What can I do to save this young man?
I still have my voice to try persuading the Split Tribe warriors and my
body will be used to shield his if it comes to blows. A shadow of a plan forms
in my head. I need to ask Smiles A Lot something. 'How old are you?'
'Huh? Ah, I was born fourteen winters ago.'
'Then you've not yet been named a man?'
'No. Snarling Bear was training me and Little Fox Eyes to be shamans of
our tribe. He was to initiate us as braves next summer.'
I sense Smiles A Lot's curiosity for what I've asked. My plan needs to be
thought out some more before I dare reveal it. I don't want to offer him any
false hope.
'Willow Bird, my head is so heavy...'
'Mine too. Let's lay away from the fire and go to sleep.' Smiles A Lot
pulls from my arms and I follow him to the back of the lodge where there are
ground mats. Snoring is heard coming from the old man laying beside us.
I close my eyes but sleep won't claim me. My restless body often turns
to find a comfortable position. Smiles A Lot notices. I feel his hand slipping
into mine so that we can exchange thoughts.
'Can't sleep, Willow Bird?'
'No. I'm feeling tired but...'
'Sometimes, when I found it hard to sleep I would pull on myself.'
I laugh in the dark. 'Every boy has learned that trick.'
'As men, we have a better way.'
I'm aroused by Smiles A Lot's hint. As if knowing my thoughts, he comes
to me with his hand over my chest and one reaching lower to my breechclout. He
slips inside to handle my cock. I gasp when my nipples are fondled.
Smiles A Lot rests his head over my breast. I slip my arm under his neck
and clutch his upper back, fondly rubbing his shoulder blades while he
pleasures my body. His mouth comes to my left nipple. I sigh with contentment.
My erection strains against the taunt deerskin.
Kisses wander down to my belly. Smiles A Lot has me gasping out when his
tongue sticks into my navel, reminding me of that same trick I've played on
Big Horn. I feel my thong belt being pulled from my waist. My cock sticks into
the air before a warmth engulfs it.
I moan with pleasure. Smiles A Lot gently sucks over my foreskin, his
tongue darting in for my knob. He cups my balls. A signal from him that he
wants to drink seed from my loins?
'No, Willow Bird. I'm preparing the way to our joining.'
I'm often forgetting my connection to others when we're touching. I catch
a glimpse of what Smiles A Lot intends for how our bodies will join. He's told
me that the lusty men of his tribe had sought relief in his ass. I'd like to
give this boy my pleasurable release of sperm along with the love that's in my
heart for him.
'Ah, yes. I want to feel your joy at taking me!'
My cock stiffens with sweet expectation. I've seen Smiles A Lot's butt
and his is very nice. I don't think that he's ever sticking into an asshole.
There's a gentleness to his spirit that reminds me of a girl who wants a man's
lust satisfied in her.
Smiles A Lot bobs his head over my cock. His hands clutch my balls that
become slippery from his mouthing above. Sweet thrills build in my loins. I
raise my butt from my ground mat to stab, a steady lustful beat. The boy
sometimes gags.
When I feel close to cumming, I push Smiles A Lot away. My cock is
dripping with his saliva. I hear a leather rubbing sound and realize that he's
removing his breechclout. The boy lays over my ground mat on his belly. I'm
quick to lay over him.
My chest rubs over Smiles A Lot's back. His butt cheeks press against my
groin hair when I align myself over the boy's body. My hard cock slides
through the crack of his ass. He's expecting my penetration.
My cock is paining me to rush in but I want to show Smiles A Lot my love.
I put my hands to work over his back, massaging his tight muscles that will
help him to relax. Often, I lower my head to kiss over his sweaty skin. My
love bites have him moaning. Smiles A Lot may want to be taken like a girl but
he smells and feels like a boy! I confirm this when my hands reach down to
his rear end, palming over his shapely curves and opening them for a peek of
his hole. My thumbs tickle his balls.
I rush my mouth into his ass. Smiles A Lot pants against his ground mat.
I take in a quick breath before burring my face between his cheeks. My tongue
darts in for his hole and finds it. A momentary resistance gives way to my
frantic licking. I put spit into him while trying to ignore his bitterness.
'I didn't have a chance to wash myself,' explains Smiles A Lot.
I regret allowing my thoughts to have been read by him. Yet Smiles A Lot
wants to share in my joy of taking him. A male's asshole smells. That excites
me because my hard cock will soon stick in there and it doesn't care.
Smiles A Lot chuckles. I sense his desire to get mounted so I move up his
body with my cock sticking between his cheeks. I'm careful with penetration. A
tight warmth is felt around the end of my cock that quickly surrounds my
entire shaft when the boy shoves his butt against my groin.
'Stab me hard!' begs Smiles A Lot. 'That will keep me very tight.'
I press my weight over his back. My hands reach for Smiles A Lot's
shoulders and grasp, helping me to stick far up his hole. He releases a low,
lusty moan. I pull my erection back and stab! His ass backs into me to fully
bury my cock. It's a savage meeting of our male bodies.
I reach out to my companion with my thoughts, letting him know how it
feels to thrust his butt and he shares his feelings of getting dicked. We
become one mind with two bodies. That helps us perform this act of love for
the best results so that the passing of my seed into him will be intense and
rewarding for us both.
There's pain in Smiles A Lot but too, he relishes being taken as if he
were a girl. I stab the boy again and again. He tightens his ringed muscles
to enhance my thrills. Fucking is the most intimate joining between two males.
Sharing our thoughts also strengthens our bond.
I feel the boy's hand reaching back to feel my butt. Mine humps with
every thrust into his butt, a quickening pace since I feel my sperm's rising.
Smiles A Lot senses the stiffening of my dick. It pains his hole but he feels
an intense sensation deep in his ass that's similar to what a girl feels when
she's mounted. I cry out when pleasure explodes in my head. Smiles A Lot takes
my sperm into his body and he moans with joy. I'm squirting a few more times
before dropping over him with exhaustion.
There's a cool breeze felt over my back. I feel a presence into the
lodge! When I look over my left shoulder, I see Light-in-his-steps looking
down at us. He has a blade drawn.
"I heard something," the warrior stammers. "You weren't guarding the
door so I came in expecting trouble."
Smiles A Lot turns his head at the man. He releases a low moan that
embarrasses me with its obvious meaning. I keep myself on top of the boy.
Light-in-his-steps has already seen much without me pulling out of his butt.
Before words of explanation can spring from my lips, the warrior turns
for the door. He's gone. I bury my face in Smiles A Lot's neck. Regret
squeezes my heart and I fear what that warrior will be telling others.
'He should have announced his name at the door,' thinks Smiles A Lot.
'Very inconsiderate of him.'
I know that Smiles A Lot heard the warrior's explanation from our mind
connection but his joke doesn't help put me at ease.
'Your tribe already suspects that you are Mahyee-na.'
'Thinking that about me and actually seeing it are two different things!'
'Yes. I'm sorry that you were embarrassed, Willow Bird but it is done.'
My hands tighten around Smiles A Lot's shoulders. Almost, I'm tempted to
strangle his neck! I slowly pull from his butt, dropping over my back with a
weary body and a troubled head.
'You still won't be able to sleep?'
Smiles A Lot's hand is felt in mine. I could almost laugh at what he's
thought but by tomorrow, I'm going to face the consequences of it.
I sense turmoil in Smiles A Lot and ask, 'Will you be able to sleep?'
'I might be able to if you let me hold you a while.'
I sense need in Smiles A Lot. Though I'm feeling troubled, I welcome the
young shaman into my arms. Our chests meet. He begins a rhythmic rubbing of
his dick against mine, slippery from my cum. My hands wander down to his
fucked butt. I enjoy feeling its struggle while the front of him seeks relief.
'Kiss me, Smiles A Lot.' I'd felt his reluctance but he is worthy to
receive my full love.
'Oh, Willow Bird. It feels good to be in your arms!'
I return Smiles A Lot's timid kiss. My tongue slips past his lips,
startling the boy from his stabs. He pushes his tongue into my mouth. I feel
his dick increasing its lusty pace against me.
'You have a nice butt.' My hands pull over both his cheeks, getting his
dick to mash mine harder.
'I enjoyed feeling your cock in me! Now, I'm enjoying it against the
front part of my body.'
Smiles A Lot has to constantly reposition himself so that his dick will
ride over mine. Their rubbing is very slippery, and pleasurable! I share in
his thrills while we're connected mind to mind. Our kissing is only interrupted
by brief gasps for breath. If we had to speak words to describe our feelings...
'Yours is a wonderful gift from our Father!'
'Yes. I can See things in others and know their thoughts without the
clumsy use of words. It has brought everyone that I've touched closer to me.'
'Ah, wrap your legs around me so that we can get closer.'
I press my thighs around Smiles A Lot's hips, folding my legs around his
humping butt. My displaced hands rise along his back until I'm clutching his
shoulder blades. Our tighter embrace keeps our dicks together. He can't thrust
as much but his thrills are heightened. My dick enjoys getting mashed. I've
already released myself too much this day and doubt I'll squirt again.
Smiles A Lot pauses from kissing. He pants against me for breath, eyes
closed in concentration. I sense the aching from his butt that he's ignoring
for the greater thrills given him from his dick. Chaotic stabs. The boy's
body relaxes for a moment before he renews his sexual struggle. I'm reminded
of Big Horn's difficult release in my arms because of the Trickster's anger.
I hold the boy's wild body above me. My thighs tighten around his surging
hips while my hands grip his shoulders, forcing our heated bodies to stay
together. Harsh stabs against me. My nose fills with the sharp odor of cum and
sweat. These are exciting smells of sex!
Smiles A Lot's cock is feeling intense. I sense his approaching explosion
and force myself deeper into the boy's head. Our spirits join. Utter joy fills
us when we become one being, knowing the other completely by having the same
feelings and memories.
There's intense thrills from cumming to our bellies. Warm liquid squirts.
We've lost our sense of self by the tremendous pleasure and realize the danger
of it so we try to disconnect. It's difficult to know which sets of arms and
legs are mine. Our dicks throb. I'm feeling confused as to where my body is,
above or below?
With a painful wrenching, I separate my spirit from the other. My
feelings are mine again. I remember that I'm Willow Bird and it's with a deep
sense of relief that I've found myself again.
Smiles A Lot's body is crushing me. I feel his heavy panting against my
neck. He's recovering from male climax so I hold him close. My love for him
has grown stronger from what we had shared: bodies fitting together and our
spirits as one. It was a very fulfilling thing! Bodily love makes for a strong
bond like what I have with Crying Loon but I'm understanding who this person
is in my arms, sharing his joys and helping to deal with his pain. He reminds
me of myself when I was learning about life from Big Horn. Smiles A Lot may be
a young shaman who can help train me in the use of my powers but he is also
still a boy. Only a nudge will send him into manhood.
Smiles A Lot continues to rest in my arms. I've been guarding my thoughts
so that he won't know about my evaluation of him. Mind speaking is a wonderful
gift from our Father. I'm learning how to control it each time I connect with
someone but there is a danger of losing myself. Will I ever be able to control
my other powers: Fire Speaking, Changing and interpreting visions?
I'm distracted from my thoughts by a trickle against my right foot. When
waving it in the air, I sense its wetness. My hand rushes down to check Smiles
A Lot for an injury. His butt is very wet. When I think it could be blood
caused from my savage fucking, my head is filled with his assurance.
'No, Willow Bird. When I climaxed against your belly, my butt... Ah. My
aching hole squirted too.'
I've brought my wet hand back to my nose for a sniff. There is no blood.
The familiar odor of cum confirms what Smiles A Lot has told me. I sense his
embarrassment. 'Don't be. It gives your body an attractive male smell.'
I'm not sure if Smiles A Lot heard my thought. I clutch his sweaty body,
noticing that his breathing has become slow and even.
'Hmm. I think that I'm falling asleep.'
I also feel weary and think that I can sleep so Smiles A Lot is gently
lowered onto his side. That allows me to hold him more comfortably. I sense
his thoughts fading, mine following his down to oblivion.
Angry hands are pulling us down into darkness, to death! My companion
isn't strong enough to fight them so I reach deep into my lover and pull him
into me. He lives on within me while his body dies...
I'm awakened by a man's moan of pain. My sleepy head is slow to realize
who it is. Smiles A Lot darts from my arms. He finds the water skin in the
early light of morning, fills a wooden mug before kneeling at the old man's
side. I rush over to them. The shaman mouths my name. He peers at Smiles A Lot
a moment before drinking the water that he's offered.
The old man's eyes return to me. Smiles A Lot lowers the half-filled mug
to the ground before checking on his head bandage.
"Will Brd. My head hurt... Oh!"
"You've been struck on the head," I warn him. "Keep still!" My shaman
tries mouthing more words but it seems too difficult for him. I take hold of
his right hand, noticing that my acorn is still clutched in it. My thoughts
are directed at the old man.
'Hear me, my shaman. Keep still while Smiles A Lot checks on your head
bandage.'
'In my head, Willow Bird?'
'Yes. A gift from our Father.' My shaman's eyes widen as if from
disbelief but he has heard my thoughts in his head.
'I am in much pain.'
'I'm sorry, shaman. What can we do for you?' I catch a glimpse of a white
powder being poured into water for drinking. The shaman is often preparing
this medicine from the bark of a willow tree.
'To stop pain,' explains the shaman.
I reach for Smiles A Lot's shoulder and grasp it. 'My shaman is in great
pain. He needs...' I Send an image of the white powder.
'Yes. I've come across it in the shaman's healing pouch.'
I watch Smiles A Lot go to another part of the lodge. My eyes fall on his
butt, pale moons in morning's light. What we've done last night together fills
my head. Our discovery by Light-in-his-steps ends the sweetness of that memory.
Smiles A Lot returns. He pours the contents of a small pouch into the
mug of water. This he offers to my shaman. He drinks only after I assure him
that the boy is only doing what he's asked.
"Who?" asks the shaman, pointing at the kneeling youth.
'Smiles A Lot, a shaman in training from the Spear-bearing Tribe.' I
feel the man's surprise but my assurance of the boy's good intent allows my
shaman to accept his help. He slowly drinks down the contents of his mug. When
Smiles A Lot returns to examining his head bandage, I sense the old man's
surprise yet again, from looking at the boy tending to him. That's when I
realize that we're both naked.
It's my turn to be surprised by the shaman's acceptance. I catch glimpses
of him thinking about Big Horn. He's remembering something: my monedo telling
him and the chief that he loves me and that a hunting trip across the river
would be a good thing to do.
The old man drops the empty mug to the ground. I sense curiosity from
him about my feelings for the boy tending to his head wound.
'I love Smiles A Lot.' My shaman shouldn't be the last one in the tribe
to learn about it. Before I can read his reaction, the old man's thoughts
fade. He has fallen back asleep.
'If only the others of your tribe could accept us,' thinks Smiles A Lot.
I snap my head up. Again, I'm forgetting that the boy is touching me and
can hear my unguarded thoughts.
'I love you too, Willow Bird. Let that be the strength we'll need to face
the coming days.'
I sense fear from Smiles A Lot. He no longer seeks death at the hands of
the Split Tribe but dreads when it will come about.
'I will teach you what I can before then,' he adds.
I peer down at the sleeping man. 'Show me how we can heal him.' I've
sensed something wrong with his body. A darkness in his head that reminds me
of the Trickster's evil spell.
'That's not the Trickster's doing,' explains Smiles A Lot. 'Your shaman's
body is broken from his head blow. He may not have a full recovery.'
'What do you mean?'
'Look deep in him, Willow Bird.'
I see Smiles A Lot closing his eyes in concentration. My thoughts are
directed inside the old man, at his head wound and how it has caused a
weakening to a part of his body. I'm Shown the darkness in him. Something that
Smiles A Lot cannot ever cure.
'Couldn't I do something for him?' I ask. My thoughts return to how I
healed Second Bird's head injury he'd suffered on the plains.
'When you are trained.'
'Teach me!'
'You must be patient, Willow Bird. What you ask is difficult. I must show
you how to concentrate, to direct your life's energy into healing without risk
to your own life.'
I recall what happened to my brother. Healing him had left me very weak,
almost unto death! And I've drawn on Second Bird's energy to replace what
I've lost after Changing. Smiles A Lot's warning is true.
'When you've learned how to control your powers, you will be a shaman.'
I tighten my hand around the old man's. My acorn held within it is a
source of energy that I hope will fill my shaman with needed strength.
'I have sensed this too. You were wise to have given it to him.'
I lift my eyes at Smiles A Lot. There's pride showing in his face for me.
And utter love. If it weren't for the Split Tribe's demand at having him back,
I would feel happiness from our growing bond. Big Horn had taken my heart but
the pain at his loss was almost too much for me to bear! I don't want to lose
another lover.
As if sensing my fear, Smiles A Lot pulls away from me. His eyes fall
from mine. I scold myself for forgetting to guard my innermost thoughts!
There's a disturbance at the door. I see a warrior entering the lodge who
hasn't announced his name. Light-in-his-steps again? No. Oaken Strength lifts
his right hand in greeting but his eyes falling on me reveal anger. Our
breechclouts are laying near our ground mats. Too far away to fetch. I don't
want to make an awkward moment even more unbearable by showing embarrassment.
The war leader joins me at the shaman's side. He ignores me while
examining the old man for several heart beats. Smiles A Lot has changed his
head bandage. He won't lift his eyes at the warrior.
"Our shaman awakened this morning. He was in pain so Smiles A Lot had him
drink something for it."
"Hmm. Did he speak?"
"Yes. He asked for crushed willow's bark to help ease his pain and I told
him a little about what happened to him."
"Did he tell you about his attacker?" asks Oaken Strength.
"No. Our shaman has difficulty with speaking." I'm forgetting that much
of my conversation with the old man was through Mind Speaking. A thing that I
don't want Oaken Strength to know about.
"That is a good sign. Smiles A Lot has done well with healing him."
I quickly gesture the warrior's praise to Smiles A Lot. He answers that
the shaman needs many more days of healing and warns that he may not make a
full recovery.
'What do you mean?' signs Oaken Strength.
'His head injury is bad,' explains Smiles A Lot. 'I sense weakness in his
limbs that he may not be strong enough to ever use again.'
Oaken Strength lowers his head in grief. 'I've known men with similar
wounds suffered on the battle field who couldn't see, use an arm afterwards or
lost the ability to walk. Are you sure?'
Smiles A Lot shakes his head. 'I hope that your shaman will recover but
I thought you should be told. He can see and hear us but his words are broken.
I'm concerned about his weakness on the right side of his body.'
Oaken Strength lifts his eyes at Smiles A Lot. He nods in gratitude for
all that he's done. The warrior turns to me with eyes filling with anger. I'm
dreading what he will be saying to me.
"Light-in-his-steps has spoken with me, Willow Bird. I know about your
feelings for Smiles A Lot but what disturbs me is that you're expressing them
in the shaman's lodge. This sacred place is not the proper place for that."
I can only nod my head in reply to what the warrior has said.
"Bending Arrow has told his son not come here to fill the water skins.
He's not to participate in your rites."
I get to my feet without looking at Oaken Strength. My worst fears have
come true! They know what we've been doing with Crying Loon. I go to where our
breechclouts are lying on the ground. After quickly donning mine, I return to
them and hand Smiles A Lot his. He's busy moving the shaman from his ground
mat with the warrior's help.
"We need to go to the river and clean up," I ask.
"I'll stay with our shaman," answers Oaken Strength.
The old man's soiled ground mat is rolled up. I fetch the empty water
skins while Smiles A Lot covers his body with deerskin flaps.
With my arms full, I make a gesture with my head at Smiles A Lot to
follow me out of the lodge. Ringed Tail watches us go. We walk past the tipis
of my tribe in silence. Smiles A Lot glances nervously at me from time to time.
When we near the river, I lead Smiles A Lot away from the three men
guarding the bank. We head downriver to a place where we can wash up without
being seen. The forest thickens here. I was expecting a field of tall grass
where Song Bird and I often gathered stalks to feed the tribe's horses but I'm
forgetting that my People have moved from their usual place on the river.
I cast my eyes far across the water, at the line of Split Tribesmen
guarding their side of the bank: five men with spears. Smiles A Lot also peers
at them. I'm saddened to think that he might be returned to them and killed.
Smiles A Lot pulls a small folded cloth from his thong belt. He opens it
to reveal two small stones. My eyes widen in recognition. Before I can ask
about it, he tosses them into the river.
'Those were the stone fetishes you placed in our butts?' I gesture.
Smiles A Lot only nods in reply. My eyes burn in want of an explanation. His
was a strange rite whose significants I didn't understand.
'The river has swallowed them up,' gestures Smiles A Lot. 'The evil done
to you and Crying Loon went into those stones and water will drown it.'
'Hmm. It is an unusual rite.' Smiles A Lot reveals embarrassment yet his
hands lift for more gesturing.
'Not amongst my People. Shaman Snarling Bear performed this rite for any
man or boy in our tribe who was... in need of cleansing.'
'Cleansing from what?' I ask.
'You know that on the battlefield how a fallen man is used by his enemies.
Often a newly named brave or a boy who is captured gets raped. That brutal act
shames their manhood so my shaman would conduct a cleansing rite for them.
What had been forced into their butts would pass into the stone fetish. The
evil put in you and Crying Loon went into your stones and my tossing them into
the river will drown it.'
I nod my head. Smiles A Lot peers at the muddy flow with sadness filling
his eyes. Almost, I'm tempted to reach out to him with my mind to share in his
painful thoughts.
A crow's caw startles us. I watch the black bird soar across the river
and I'm reminded of a certain warrior. How he had tamed a crow to feed from
his hand.
Smiles A Lot unrolls the shaman's soiled ground mat. He cleans it by
rubbing sand over it while soaking it in the river. I task myself with filling
the two water skins. Crying Loon has been doing this each morning but no
longer. I wonder how much his father knows about me and the boy?
I watch Smiles A Lot drape the clean ground mat over a branch to dry. He
comes to my side and helps me fill the second water skin. We keep our thoughts
to ourselves. When the skins are filled, we carry them up the bank. I notice
the sharp smell of my body and remember the events from last night.
My breechclout is pulled from my body. With a hand gesture, I ask Smiles
A Lot to join me for a swim. He is slow to drop his deerskin flaps. A gesture
is given me that he knows how cold the river is. I laugh at him.
After looking at each other's nakedness for a moment, I dive into the
muddy river. Its cold spirit grips my body. When surfacing, I glance back at
the bank. Smiles A Lot is cautiously wading into its depths. I swim towards
him and splash water at him. The young shaman drops into the river with his
legs kicking up a storm in my direction. Ours becomes a fierce splashing
contest. We laugh. I peer at his dripping face and notice his grin. It's an
ease to my heart to see the boy's happiness from forgetting the burdens that
have come to his shoulders.
'Do you remember when we met?' gestures Smiles A Lot.
I nod my head. 'You were standing on the far river bank waving to me,' I
answer. 'From your shortly cut hair and strange facial features, I knew that
you were a boy from an enemy tribe but you acted friendly. That kept me from
swimming back to my side of the river.'
Smiles A Lot laughs. 'Your eyes were all over me when I undressed and
entered the river. I thought you were going to wrestle with me.'
'Yes. I was prepared for battle,' I admit. Smiles A Lot spreads his arms
in a gesture for us to wrestle. My feet spring from the mud and I attack! The
boy's warmth fills my arms. We plunge into the cold water, struggling with
each other and gasping for breath. Laughing all the time. Smiles A Lot regains
his footing and he tosses me away. I launch myself at him again.
It turns into a fierce battle. No more giggling. Smiles A Lot and I
struggle for advantageous hand holds, our feet are planted in the river's
bottom. I think I'm stronger than this boy but he plans his attacks
effectively. Often, I'm dunked in the river.
A new strategy comes to me. I swim underwater and find Smiles A Lot's
legs. With a strong yank, I pull him under. My hands go around his back and
lock. His arms are pinned to his sides. Our bodies roll together. Only when
I'm in need of breath do I release my death hold.
We surface and gasp for air. Smiles A Lot gives me his gesture for
surrender. There's a cute smile on his face. When his arms spread, I prepare
to continue our wrestling. The boy quickly raises his right hand in peace.
I sigh with relief. Smiles A Lot comes to me with his arms reaching
around me for a hug. I embrace his warmth. He peers deep into my eyes, love
filling them and I sense his hope that I can love him back.
'I have felt your pain for Big Horn,' thinks Smiles A Lot. 'To love
someone as much as you did and then to lose him...'
I bury my face in Smiles A Lot's neck. My eyes are tightly shut. Tears
won't come but I'm feeling much woe for my monedo. He is gone. I don't think
that I can ever love anyone as much as I had for him!
'You won't, Willow Bird. He was your first adult lover. I know that your
heart seeks for the love of boys but it's with someone your own age that your
life will find a balance. Big Horn showed you the path of the Mahyee-na. He
taught you manhood skills. You want to pass on what you've learned to boys
but they may not be old enough to understand everything.'
I continue to hide my face in Smiles A Lot's neck. What he's said is
true. My thoughts turn to Song Bird, how he loves me as a friend and shared in
Mahyee-na acts but his spirit is not like mine.
'Crying Loon has proven to be of our spirit. He is a nice boy.'
'Do you want him?' I ask.
'No. I want... your love, Willow Bird.'
I lift my face to peer at Smiles A Lot. He has a serious expression on
his face. I can read his thoughts and I sense his deepest heart in them. He
hopes that I will love him back.
I have to drop my eyes from his. My heart longs for Smiles A Lot and I
know that he's worthy! But I fear losing him to the Split Tribe. I've already
endured too much pain from losing Big Horn.
Smiles A Lot reaches out for my face. He draws my eyes back up to his and
I feel his lips pressing against mine. We kiss. Gently. I truly want to love
him but how long will it last?
'If we only have a until the next full moon, it would be enough for me.'
I answer Smiles A Lot's plea with another kiss. There's still reluctance
in me to open my heart but I'm being drawn to this boy like a moth to the
flame. He needs my love. I think that my heart is strong enough to risk it.
Smiles A Lot nods. His arms slowly pull away until he's standing apart
from me. Eyes are lowered. I know that he's read my thoughts and I've not
rejected him.
We take a swim together. I'm often diving to the muddy bottom to find
shells and interesting stones. I remember finding my silver ring in the river,
but of course, that didn't really happen. Smiles A Lot shows me a crayfish
that he's captured. He lets it go.
I reach down for sand and clean the sweat from my body. Smiles A Lot does
the same, giving special attention to his butt. I give the boy a knowing grin.
When our bath is done, we slowly wade towards the bank. My teeth chatter. The
river is very cold! I look forward to drying off in the sun.
To my dismay, I see two girls washing clothes on the bank. They are
Leaping Rabbit and Star Light. I hear their giggling and realize that they're
kneeling at the river's edge close to where we've left our breechclouts.
Smiles A Lot also stops his advance. He eyes the two girls, turning to me
for an explanation. 'They know that we won't leave the river while they're
washing clothes,' I gesture. 'They've seen my loving embrace with Song Bird
and hope to catch us doing something together.'
'The girls of my tribe know their place,' gestures Smiles A Lot. 'When a
man is leaving a sweat lodge, the women scurry away with eyes cast down to the
ground so they won't look upon his nakedness.'
I wade closer to the bank with Smiles A Lot until the water only comes up
to our hips but the girls act like they don't realize our intent of coming out.
Anger fills me. Yet I won't call out to Leaping Rabbit to end her foolish game.
I know that she once liked me and the hope in her heart for us being together
squashed when I turned to Big Horn with my love instead. This is her revenge.
'We can wait them out.' Smiles A Lot frowns in response but he follows me
into deeper water. Cold returns to my upper body and arms. I'm trying to find
a sandbar to rest on but the river only gets deeper under my feet.
I catch Smiles A Lot glancing at the far bank. Is he thinking of swimming
across so that we can dry off in the sun while waiting for the girls to leave?
No. I notice that his eyes are on the five men standing on the bank. He won't
risk being captured by the Split Tribe again.
When water comes up to my neck, I'm forced to swim against the current.
Smiles A Lot is struggling. I take hold of his arm to help keep his head above
water. He doesn't know how to swim! I sense his fear. We're slowly drifting
downriver, into deeper water that fills the young shaman with terror.
I wish there was a sandbar! No sooner after thinking this, my feet strike
against sand. Smiles A Lot scrambles onto it. I sit down at his feet with awe
showing in my face. Am I being granted wishes even without wearing my silver
ring? That can't be. I had passed my ring onto Song Bird who wished with it
until he passed it to Yellow Hair. The Trickster took it from that white boy.
I've seen my stolen ring on his finger and know that he prevents me from using
its Power.
'What are you thinking?' gestures Smiles A Lot.
I lift myself from my troubled thoughts. 'I am glad that we found this
sandbar.'
'Me too. For a moment there, I thought you were trying to sacrifice me to
the water spirits!'
'Your People don't learn how to swim?'
'No. There are no rivers in the plains. We hunt buffalo; not stalk
through woods for deer or snare rabbits as your People do. And we don't swim.'
I glance at the bank. The two girls are still washing clothes. At least
Smiles A Lot and I can rest here until they leave. This will allow me to ask
him about a few things that I'm curious about.
'You said that your People learned from my father that my tribe had been
split. Why didn't your warriors attack us?' Surprise shows on Smiles A Lot's
face by my unexpected question. He lifts his hands for gesturing.
'Yes. Our young braves wanted to prove themselves in battle but shaman
Snarling Bear spoke against making war in council. Some of the warriors agreed
with him. They knew that your People were far away and it would be difficult.'
'What will your People think when Snarling Bear doesn't return,' I
gesture with my eyes staring into Smiles A Lot's to carefully read him.
'Scouts will be sent out to find out what happened,' he answers. 'My
shaman was to return to our tribe, especially since my chief's youngest son
had accompanied him.'
'Tash-o-gwa murdered that boy on the plains!'
'That is very bad,' gestures Smiles A Lot. 'Without Snarling Bear to
speak out against war in council, our warriors will lust to attack your
split tribes to take your horses and women. If they learn that their chief's
son was murdered, their war will also be to seek revenge!'
I sense only truth in Smiles A Lot. When he offers me his hand to clasp
so that we can Mind Speak, I explain that moving our hands for gesturing helps
keep us warm while sitting in the river. I don't think he accepts this answer
but he continues lifting his hands to shape words.
'Your People should expect the coming of scouts from my tribe to learn
what has happened to Snarling Bear, his mother, Little Fox Eyes, the chief's
son and myself. They will learn that your tribe has moved from its usual place
on the river but they know where the Split Muddy River Tribe has struck their
tipis. They will see yours across the river from them.'
'That should give your warriors pause,' I explain, 'when they see our two
tribes are back together.'
'Yes. But the number of warriors and braves of my tribe are many. And if
they are enflamed into war to avenge their chief's son's murder, they could
ask warriors to join them from the Thundering Horsemen. Your two tribes could
not stand against that many if they were to come.'
Smiles A Lot's gesture for 'Thundering Horsemen' was also spoken by him
with the word: 'Shew-owa.' I've heard that word before! Second Bird had been
captured by warriors from that tribe who are akin to the Spear-bearing People.
They used my brother as a slave to satisfy their male desires until he escaped.
Fear grips my heart. I'm sure that what Smiles A Lot has said is true. If
they come, how can our two tribes stand against so many warriors and braves?
This is something that I must tell my chief!
A long silence comes between us. I stare at the river flowing past us,
the change in the current caused by our bodies. I realize something. Things
that are expected to happen can be diverted like the river's flow. You only
have to be at the right place to change things. I'm given visions from our
Father. Dancing flames also Show me things that may come to pass. Armed with
this knowledge, I can try shaping what will be to save my People. I won't let
enemy spears strike down those that I love! Smiles A Lot must teach me what I
need to learn to become a shaman.
I lift my eyes to Smiles A Lot and gesture, 'I am ready to be taught what
I need to learn.' He nods his head at my plea.
'Close your eyes, Willow Bird.'
I do so. Smiles A Lot grips my right arm and sends his thoughts into my
head. He asks me to forget everything that's around me; the coldness of the
water, the feel of his hand and that I must clear my head of thoughts.
'Yes. Center your being. A shaman uses the beating of his rattle to focus
on what needs to be done: to heal someone, to seek out evil influences, to
enjoin his spirit with our Father for knowledge. Forget fear! Don't try to
make things happen by the force of your will but simple Be.'
'I don't have a rattle.'
'Then listen to your heart beat,' answers Smiles A Lot. 'It's steady
rhythm is like the pounding of a drum: boom, boom. No beginning to it and no
ending. Become that steady drum beat, Willow Bird. Listen to your heart.'
I try doing what Smiles A Lot has asked. The sounds of the churning
river and the cold around my body are ignored. I listen to my heart beating in
my ears.
Smiles A Lot no longer thinks to me. I try concentrating on my heart beat
but my legs are feeling cold. Troubling thoughts interrupt my concentration and
I sometimes lose track of my heart. My eyes finally open in defeat.
'That is the hardest thing a young shaman needs to learn,' thinks Smiles
A Lot. 'You have begun your training late in life.'
I nod my head. 'When are you going to teach me how to use my powers?'
'You already know how to,' answers Thinks A Lot.
'Then why... I don't understand!'
'You lack control, Willow Bird. When you can center your being, power
flows evenly so you won't be drained so quickly.'
'I understand. Always, when I'm Changing into an animal or Healing my
brother, I was left feeling very weak. I thought it was because that using my
powers took so much out of me.'
'It does. Using these gifts from our Father require a trade on your part.
Energy is taken from your spirit and from your body.'
I nod my head with understanding. When Smiles A Lot glances at the bank,
I turn my head to look for the girls. They're still lingering at the river's
edge. Probably talking about us and laughing with each other. I become angry.
'We need to return to shore,' I gesture to Smiles A Lot. My thoughts are
guarded since I have a plan to scare the girls away that he would not approve.
My grip tightens around his arm. I pull the young shaman back into deeper
water, helping him to struggle against the current until our feet can find the
bottom. We've been pulled downriver a ways. I continue to tug on the boy's
arm, leading him upriver to where the girls are.
Smiles A Lot asks me what I'm planning. In answer, I release his arm and
dive under the water towards the two girls. My feet kick hard while my arms
make the motion of a frog. I'll hold my breath for as long as I can before
having to surface.
I hear my heart beat growing louder in my ears. Smiles A Lot's lesson
returns to me so I concentrate on its rhythm. My feet kick in beat. My hands
pull the water past my body. The muddy river prevents me from seeing. I think
only of swimming towards shore. When the surface nears my head, I allow the
familiar Change to take place.
My legs join. My arms pull back into my body with my hands becoming
flippers. I bend my body for the surface and take in breaths through my
whiskered nose. The sunlight blinds my eyes. I hear the girls' high-pitched
screaming. Mud is felt under me when I flop onto the bank to chase them.
I will my body to return. In the next moment, I find myself sprawled over
the ground. My legs kick water at the river's edge. Smiles A Lot is shouting
my name from behind me. I slowly get to my feet in triumph.
"That mean, Willow Bird!"
I turn to Smiles A Lot with a wicked grin and wait for him to join me on
the bank. At my feet are wet clothes. It seems that the girls were too
frightened to remember taking them.
In the distance, I hear the thundering of feet. Three men from my tribe
rush towards me with spears ready. Smiles A Lot steps from the river. He hides
behind me when the warriors approach.
"What's happened?" shouts Catch-fish-with-arrows.
Two warriors run past us to make a quick search of the woods. I face the
brave and answer him. "Star Light and Leaping Rabbit were frightened by... an
otter. They've dropped the clothes they were washing."
I notice the brave's glances at my body. He steps past me to peer at
Smiles A Lot who's been clinging to my back. There's much hatred in his eyes.
Holds Reins and Broad Shoulder return from searching the woods.
"We found nothing," says Holds Reins.
"What frightened the girls?" asks Broad Shoulder.
"Willow Bird says that it was an otter," explains Catch-fish-with-arrows
with disbelief heard in his voice, "but I suspect HE (pointing at Smiles A Lot)
had something to do with it!"
Broad Shoulder notices the uncovered bodies. "Tell me, Willow Bird. Was
he chasing them?"
"No. Smiles A Lot isn't interested in girls that way."
Holds Reins nods his head. "I'll find them and ask what happened."
"Do that. Smiles A Lot and I will be returning to the shaman's lodge with
these water skins." Holds Reins runs towards camp while Broad Shoulder and
Catch-fish-with-arrows linger around. With a weary sigh, I reach down for our
breechclouts. My hand grabs hold of them but I become very dizzy. I feel
Smiles A Lot's support around my waist.
We don our breechclouts in silence. I'm finding it more and more
difficult to remain on my feet since my head is feeling so heavy. Smiles A Lot
notices. He grabs the rolled ground mat and both water skins, carrying them
under his arms. The men return upriver to guarding our side of the bank. I
cling to Smiles A Lot's arm to keep myself from falling down.
'Remember what I said about using your powers,' scolds Smiles A Lot.
'Yes. It leaves me feeling drained.'
'You know that's not what I meant. It was an ill use of our Father's gift
to merely frighten away those girls. If they suspect that you had Changed into
that otter, your People will fear you. Fear can lead to anger and hatred.'
I don't answer Smiles A Lot. Shame fills my heart for what I've done. I
didn't realize the consequences my trick would cause. Another wave of
dizziness passes. 'I need to get back to the lodge!'
'I know that, Willow Bird.'
Smiles A Lot rushes us through camp. We pass the People of my tribe but
I'm unable to keep my eyes open to look at them. The lodge comes into view.
I'm rushing into it without even noticing which warrior is guarding the
entrance. My legs weaken under me. There's a sensation of being carried.
Darkness fills my eyes. I'm falling...
Someone shakes me awake. I open my eyes and see that it's my mother.
"I was told that you'd fallen ill."
To my relief, I find that I'm strong enough to sit up. Smiles A Lot is
tending to our shaman at the far side of the lodge. There's a ground mat under
me. Still wet from the river.
"I am better now. Don't concern yourself, my mother." I dare to look into
her eyes and see that she is very worried. My feigned smile doesn't fool her.
I come up with something to explain what happened. "Smiles A Lot and I took a
long swim in the river. You know how cold it is... My head grew faint."
Warm Hands has a wooden bowl in her hands that she offers me. It smells
of soup. I eagerly drink from it, enjoying the seasoned venison. This reminds
me of my mother's cooking so she must have come earlier to the lodge to
prepare it while I was sleeping.
My empty bowl is taken away. Warm Hands gets into a more comfortable
position over the ground which means that she wants to talk.
"My son, I've heard the things that's been going on between you and..."
She glances at Smiles A Lot.
I'm surprised by my mother's direct question. "What you have heard is
true," I answer without shame. "You knew of my love for Big... my monedo. He
is gone and I've already mourned for him so my heart was ready for another."
Warm Hands lowers her eyes from mine. Embarrassment?
"The chief has said that you are to become our next shaman," she whispers.
"You will need training and the respect of our People."
"Mother. I know that but I'm following my own path that cannot be denied."
A pause. "Does Second Bird share that same spirit?"
Anger fills me for some reason. "Why not ask your son?" Warm Hands coughs
nervously, making me realize how harsh that I've been with her. "I'm sorry.
There are many things going on that you don't know about. Shaman concerns.
There's evil stalking our two tribes that I'm trying to deflect."
I hear my mother's gasp. When she peers into my eyes, I have to turn
away. That's when I notice how strongly sunlight is shining down through the
lodge's smoke hole. My great plan for this afternoon. Is it already too late?
I rush to my feet, startling my mother when I stand in the middle of the
lodge with my eyes lifted upwards. Relief fills me. It is not yet noon.
"What is it, my son?"
I go to my mother and take hold of her hand. My thoughts remain guarded.
"Would you like to see your son?"
"Ah. Is he coming across the river today?" she asks.
I eagerly nod my head. "Along with Glinting Riverstone and her two sons.
They want to meet Hands Weaving and Broad Shoulder's daughters who they've
never seen."
"How can this happen?" asks Warm Hands. "Warriors guard both sides of the
river. Have the chiefs..."
I blurt out what I've planned to my mother. Her eyes grow wide with
surprise then fall from mine. I see that she may be against it.
"Second Bird will be there. Please, my mother! Come and see your son who
I know will want to see you again."
"This meeting was not approved by the chiefs."
"And I doubt they ever will. This is a friendly visit between kin who
were long separated when our tribes were split. What is wrong with that?"
I squeeze my mother's hands, forcing her eyes to return to mine. I can't read
much from her face. There's surprise mixed with fear but I don't see that
she's against what I've planned.
"It would be good to see your son," I suggest again. "If you can, meet us
at the cat tails upriver from where the warriors are guarding the bank. At
noon, Second Bird will be waiting with Glinting Riverstone and her sons on
their side of the river. The meeting will take place over a sandbar."
There are tears in my mother's eyes. She gently pulls her hands from
mine, turns away and heads for the door. Smiles A Lot rushes to my side.
'What did you say to your mother?' he thinks.
'I have planned a reunion for some of our People. But there's not much
time left for me to get things done!' I pull away from Smiles A Lot and rush
out the lodge door. Oaken Strength doesn't ask me anything. Perhaps he thinks
that I'm chasing after my mother.
I run through camp looking for Crying Loon, Hands Weaving and her son's
two daughters. People look my way but they avoid eye contact. I realize that
what was revealed about me in council and what Light-in-his-steps had seen in
the shaman's lodge must have spread throughout the tribe. Everyone must have
learned that Smiles A Lot is my lover. I have no time to feel shame though.
I rush to Broad Shoulder's tipi. When I announce my name at the door, a
woman peeks out at me. It's the warrior's wife, Morning Fawn. She is surprised
by my visit.
"What is wrong, Willow Bird?"
"Ah. Nothing. I'm looking for your husband's mother. Do you know where I
can find her?"
"Hands Weaving is collecting firewood. She will be smoking the meat of my
husband's deer this afternoon."
I notice the hide of a deer being stretched against the tipi. After
muttering my thanks, I fly towards the woods. The smoking racks come into
sight so I decide to search for the old woman there first. To my relief, I
find her! One of her granddaughters is helping her build a fire.
I'm all out of breath when I stop before them. Hands Weaving turns to me
with surprise. Embarrassment is seen on Twinkling Star's face. No words of
explanation can come out of my mouth until I catch my breath.
I peer up at the sky. Father Sun has nearly risen to its height. There's
not much time so I face the old woman and speak. "Grandmother! Your daughter,
Glinting Riverstone... wants to see you."
"What is this, Willow Bird?"
I can't speak again until I've taken a few more breaths. "I have a plan.
My brother, Second Bird is on the other side of the river. Waiting. Your
daughter and her two sons will wade across the river... to sandbar. Meet you
there. Must come with me now!"
Twinkling Star turns to her grandmother to see what she'll do. I try
reading the old woman's cracked face. She's pondering over my words, staring
into my eyes to read the truth of what I've said. It seems to be taking her a
long time to decide.
"The men guarding both sides of the river will prevent it."
"I have a plan to divert them!" That is if I can find Crying Loon and get
his help.
Hands Weaving turns to her granddaughter. "Would you like to meet your
father's sister and her two sons?"
Twinkling Star's face beams but she is obviously worried. "Won't we get
into trouble?" she asks. "It sounds like Willow Bird has to make a trick so
that we can meet in the river."
"Ah, yes. That's what I like about it!" clucks Hands Weaving. "When you
get to my age, you'll realize how sun-headed men can be. Only a river
separates families that want to be together yet warriors from both our tribes
guard the bank to prevent it."
"Then you'll both come?" I ask.
Hands Weaving nods. "Yes. Let me find my other granddaughter, Night Fawn."
I glance up at the sky again. "There's not much time, grandmother! At
noon, you must be at the stand of cat tails upriver, ready to cross after the
guards are diverted. Second Bird will lead your daughter and her sons across."
"I will be there, Willow Bird."
I gesture my farewell to the women and fly back towards the tipis. Where
is Crying Loon?! I dare not look for him in Bending Arrow's tipi. The boy
should be out playing with the others somewhere in camp. But where?
I hear my named being called. Song Bird runs to me with a smile on his
face. I notice his black hair, unkempt without the use of his Wah-ha cloth that
is covering my loins within my breechclout.
"Do you know where Crying Loon is?" I ask.
"You can't say 'hi' to me first?" The boy shows his hurt.
"I'm sorry, Song Bird. I need to find Crying Loon so that he can do
something really important for me!"
"I haven't seen him all morning. Is this something that I can do?"
I stare at Song Bird, realizing that this boy could help me. I take him
into my arms and Send my thoughts into his head. 'I am planning a reunion of
some of the People!' Images of what's going to take place is given the boy.
And how I need his help.
'I'll do it, Willow Bird but how can I divert the guards?'
'Yell out to them, say that you saw a bear or something.' An even better
idea comes to me. I Show Song Bird what I'd done to scare the girls away when
Smiles A Lot and I wanted to return to the bank after our swim. The boy
giggles at my trick. 'Shout out that you're being chased by a big otter. Those
men already knew that Star Light and Leaping Rabbit had been scared by one.'
'That is a good idea. Ah. How will I know when you're ready to cross the
river?'
'I'll toss a whole bunch of cat tails into the river.'
'Hmm. Their dark heads will be hard to spot in the muddy water...'
'Also look for green leaves. I'll throw whatever I can find into the
river to signal you.'
Song Bird nods his head in agreement. I stand apart from the boy, love
for my little brother shining in my eyes. The hope for a reunion is burning
bright in my heart!
I turn from Song Bird. He takes off for the woods while I head in the
opposite direction, through the tipis of my tribe at a forced walk. I don't
want anyone to ask why I'm in such a hurry.
The trees soon come into sight. I rush past them and make my way towards
the river, to the stand of cat tails. When I arrive, there's no one there. Ah.
Hands Weaving had to find Night Fawn, her other granddaughter and they need
some time to get here.
I look across the river. There are four men guarding the Split Tribe's
side of the river but my brother is nowhere in sight. I peek through the cat
tails, downriver for those men guarding our side. I spy on three men. I think
they're the same guards who were there earlier this morning.
I realize something. Broad Shoulder is Hands Weaving's son. What will he
do after the diversion when he sees his aged mother crossing the river with
his two daughters? Would he allow their meeting with his sister and her two
sons or will he take his duty seriously and try to stop it?
There are many things that can go wrong, I sadly realize. Where is my
brother? I peer up at the sky and see that Father Sun is at its height.
There's no sign of Hands Weaving... A terrible thought strikes me. Did my
mother run to our chief and warn him about my plan?!
Again, I look across the river for my brother. There's a thick forest that
reaches to the river's edge. It would be hard to spot anyone against the trees.
To prepare myself for the river crossing, I pull my breechclout from my waist.
Song Bird's white cloth catches my eye and reminds me that I should be wearing
something when the women arrive. I retie my thong belt around me but leave the
chief's flint blade and my long deerskin cloth on the ground. One end of the
Wah-ha cloth is tied to my belt. It will serve as a flap to cover my loins.
I crawl along the bank to hide myself from the warriors standing guard.
When I enter the river, only my head is kept above water. I make my way along
the muddy bottom on all fours. The river gets deeper, forcing me to swim. I
look ahead for my brother. He still can't be seen.
My feet strike against sand. I climb onto the sandbar with relief but
only keep my head above water. The guards on both sides of the river can be
seen. When I direct my gaze at the forest, there's someone waving their hands.
It's my brother!
I can't wave back. He may take that as the signal to cross the river so I
dive under the water and swim back to the bank. When I near, Hands Weaving is
seen standing amongst the cat tails. Her two granddaughters are with her and I
also see my mother!
Seeing them lifts my spirits. I crawl onto shore, only getting to my feet
when reaching the cover of cat tails. Hands Weaving clucks at me. The two
girls avert their eyes from my nakedness. I look at my mother and give her a
sheepish grin.
"My brother is waiting across the river," I explain. "Song Bird needs to
be signaled so that he can divert the guards. Help me gather cat tails and
green leaves so that I can toss them into the current."
The women busy themselves with the task. Twinkling Star and Night Fawn
pull at the cat tails which they hand to my mother. Hands Weaving is pulling
at a long leafy vine from a tree. When I'm given an armload, I sneak to the
river's edge and toss them into the water. A girl is heard giggling behind me.
Hands Weaving scolds her granddaughter to be quiet. Embarrassment fills
me. I think that I know why she's giggling. I'm on my knees, facing the river
to release the cat tails with nothing covering the rear of my body. She must
have peeked at my opening butt. Everyone knows that I'm Mahyee-na and that I
join my body to a man through my rear opening. I feel my face burning. Had it
been a boy giggling at me, I'm sure that my response would have been different.
I grab another armload of cat tails from my mother. Her eyes are filled
with concern. Hands Weaving offers me a rolled up ball of leafy vines. I crawl
to the river's edge and toss them in. Song Bird was right. The brown cat tails
are difficult to spot in the current so I hope that he'll see the green leaves.
I peer across the water for my brother. He can't be seen against the
trees but I know that he's waiting there for a signal. Was he able to convince
Glinting Riverstone and her grandsons to enact on our plan?
Hands Weaving clucks to get my attention. I see that she's ordered her
granddaughters to gather small tree branches filled with leaves. My mother is
pulling at a bush. I crawl back to them and fill my arms with the greenery.
My third trip to the river's edge is carefully made. I don't want the
guards to spot what I'm doing. Have they noticed the plant debris floating
past their position? When I'm about to release my armload of leaves, I hear a
high-pitched cry in the distance. Shivers run down my spine. Have the men
discovered me?!
I dare to raise my head from the water's edge and peer downriver. There's
something happening, men running along the bank but in the opposite direction.
I hear a boy's frightened cry. It's Song Bird!
I turn towards the women and wave them to approach. Hands Weaving slowly
leads the others towards me, her eyes glancing downriver for the guards. My
mother is last to reach the river's edge. I jump into the river and frantically
gesture for them to follow me.
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End of file: SHAMAN3.TXT The story continues in: SHAMAN4.TXT