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SHAMAN-WILLOW-BIRD-4 "Shaman Willow Bird" series
Shaman Willow Bird (part 4) Copyright 2001 by Vince Water
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* "Shaman Willow Bird" Corrected 6/01 *
* (part 4) *
The river's icy chill comes to my legs. Hands Weaving steps into the
water followed by her reluctant granddaughters, Twinkling Star and Night Fawn.
My mother grasps the lower part of her dress before following them in.
I look downriver. The three guards are far away, answering Song Bird's
call for help. A sly grin crosses my lips. My plan seems to be working! The
Split Tribe's four guards have also run along their side of the bank to see
what the commotion is all about. Song Bird stops yelling. I hope the boy will
be able to keep them occupied.
I look far across the river, at the thick stand of trees on the far bank
for my brother but I see that he's already making his way towards us. A woman
follows him in the river with two boys clinging to her side. When I glance at
Hands Weaving, her eyes shine with happiness. Hope also fills my heart that
this reunion will happen.
Water comes up to my chest. I stay close to the women, noticing how
they're struggling in the depths. Their dresses hinder them. I see fear in
Night Fawn's eyes and she's having trouble keeping her footing so I swim to
her side to offer a helping hand.
"How much farther?" asks Night Fawn.
"Only to the middle of the river," I answer. "There's a sandbar there we
can stand on." The girl accepts my hand around her left arm but she averts her
eyes from me even though most of my body is submerged. I think she's the one
who had giggled at me on the bank.
Twinkling Star helps steady her grandmother in the fierce current. My
mother follows close behind them. The river is getting deep! We still have a
ways to go before reaching the safety of the sandbar.
I hear yelling again. Not Song Bird's high-pitched voice but men shouting
from the Split Tribe's side of the river. The four guards are running back
along the bank. They must have spotted Second Bird's crossing. When I look
downriver for my tribe, I see our three guards running as well. Reunion will
take place but it may only be a short one.
The women don't need my urging to wade faster through the river. I'm
alarmed by the strong current. The water is very deep here and makes for a
difficult crossing on foot. I've swum to this sandbar before with ease by not
wearing my breechclout but women can't go about uncovered. They won't attempt
to swim with their dresses on since the current would sweep them away.
Angry yelling is heard coming from behind. I glance back at the men,
alarmed that Broad Shoulder is swimming hard to catch up to us. The other two
guards rush through the water in leaps and bounds. Will they grab us before
we can reach the sandbar?
Something hard bumps against my left side. When I look down, I see that
it's a large tree branch. The torn end strikes Night Fawn, unbalancing her. I
lose my grip of her arm! The girl cries out before she's taken under. I dive
in after her.
The muddy river prevents me from seeing Night Fawn. I grope out blindly,
hoping to find the girl before she drowns. This is all my fault! Why didn't I
consider the dangers of a river crossing here?
My lungs soon ache for air. I break the surface and look for Night Fawn.
She's being carried away by the current, paddling frantically like a scared
dog. I struggle towards her but doubt that I'll be able to catch up with the
girl. Please Father! Don't let her drown.
My heart fills with hope when Broad Shoulder swims to reach Night Fawn.
The warrior grabs her, ending the girl's ordeal. I let the current take me to
them. Broad Shoulder keeps both arms around his daughter but when I near, the
man reaches out for me. I plant my feet in the muddy bottom beside them.
"What were you trying to do?" shouts Broad Shoulder.
I see much anger in the man. "A tree branch crashed into us!" I explain.
"I'm sorry but I lost my grip of Night Fawn." From behind us, a chorus of
happy shouts come from the women. They've reached the sandbar and are standing
over it, waving at us with relief. My brother helps Glinting Riverstone and
her two sons onto the sandbar.
I look back at Broad Shoulder. He sees that the women are safe, hugging
each other and making a joyous reunion. The anger that was in the man's eyes
cool. I address the warrior and reveal my plan to him.
"There's your sister and her two sons. Your mother wanted to visit with
them but the men guarding the banks would have prevented that." I turn from
Broad Shoulder to watch their reunion. The young boys are in Hands Weaving's
arms. Glinting Riverstone embraces Twinkling Star.
"Hmm. I see. Ah, Night Fawn. Do you want to return to the bank?" asks
Broad Shoulder. He stares past her, at the happy reunion taking place in the
middle of the river.
The girl glances at the bank for a moment but shakes her head. "I would
like to see my aunt and two nephews," she asks. "Father, can you help me to
the sandbar?"
Broad Shoulder slowly nods his head. He takes hold of his daughter's
right arm and I also help pull her against the current with my grip of her
left arm. It's difficult. We make slow progress but with the warrior's help,
the girl is brought to the crowd of People.
Six angry men surround the happy throng. There's no spears in their hands
(they were left on the bank) but they're shouting at the women and at each
other. The squaws ignore their pleas to return with them and that adds to the
men's frustration.
When we step onto the sandbar, Hands Weaving takes hold of her trembling
granddaughter. Ringed Tail and Catch-fish-with-arrows shout at Broad Shoulder
to do something. Angry fingers are pointed in my direction. The four Split
Tribe warriors are no longer shouting but they keep to their side of the
sandbar. Watching.
Everyone quiets down when Broad Shoulder approaches Glinting Riverstone.
Twinkling Star loosens her grip of her aunt, her eyes lower from her father's
in fear of his reproach. The warrior's grim face breaks into a smile. He opens
his arms to welcome his sister's embrace. Theirs becomes a fierce hug.
I shout out with glee that's followed by Ringed Tail's and Catch-fish-
with-arrows' happy whoops. Second Bird is in our mother's arms but he looks in
my direction, his face beaming for me. I lift my arms up to our Father and
give Him my thanks. This is a very happy moment in my life! What my father
strived for has finally happened though only in a small way but I know that
when others learn of this meeting, they too will want to visit with their kin
long separated when our tribes were split. I hope that joy will replace the
fear and hatred in the men's hearts. Our split tribes should be made whole
again.
I walk down to the far end of the sandbar to be alone. Though I share in
their joy, a part of me is sad. I was half expecting to meet with someone I
had lost long ago... Anger fills me for this stupid thought. He is dead.
My arms are wrapped around me to keep warm. The river was very cold and
chasing after Night Fawn has exhausted me. I'm hardly wearing anything. It is
difficult to stand before women where they can look over my nakedness.
My eyes turn back for camp. I see the tipis of my tribe standing near the
river and on the bank are a group of People, waving to us and shouting though
I can't make out their words. It's the same on the Split Tribe's side of the
river. Second Bird and I have caused quite a stir, it seems.
The Split Tribe warriors look unhappy. They keep to their side of the
sandbar but no longer try breaking up the happy reunion. The warriors of my
tribe guard over our women from their side of the sandbar. Broad Shoulder
stands in the middle, holding one of his nephews surrounded by the women.
Everyone is talking in loud, cheerful voices. I'm glad to see happiness on
their faces.
I'm feeling very pleased with myself. My plan actually worked! I expect a
scolding from Oaken Strength upon my return for not consulting with him but I
knew that he would not have approved. All our warriors fear a return to the
madness that caused a split in our tribes. I hope that I've proven the good
that can come from kin visiting with each other.
I feel a small hand against my thigh but when I look down, the tears
filling my eyes prevent me from identifying this youth.
"Why are you not visiting with anyone?" the boy asks.
I quickly wipe my arm across my face and peer down. It's a young boy at
my side, around eight years of age. His thin arms reach up to me in want of
being lifted from the ground. I take hold of the naked boy. He's brought up
against my right side where we can meet properly.
"I'm Curious Squirrel," announces the youth.
"I'm Willow Bird. Did you like meeting your grandmother, uncle and two
cousins?" The boy nods his head. He is a cute youth. I'm enjoying the feel of
his slippery butt under my right arm. His pole tickles against my belly. The
boy's legs are wrapped around my waist with the heel of one foot pressing into
my butt. His small hands are locked behind my neck. Breaths blow against my
chest. I'm getting excited from our embrace. When I look around, the others
are too involved to notice us. Women are embracing and speaking in loud happy
voices while the men glare at each other.
"Is it true that you're Second Bird's brother?" asks Curious Squirrel.
I nod my head in reply. "He is visiting with our mother." The boy turns
his head to look at them. Second Bird is being introduced to Hands Weaving by
our mother. Everyone is smiling.
I should join them but the boy in my arms is nice to hold. His body feels
warm against me. He has peering black eyes, studying the features of my face
before lowering them to my chest. He looks down at where our bodies are
touching. A grin comes to his lips. I'm excited by the boy's interest in me.
"Did you lose your breechclout in the river?" asks the boy.
I give Curious Squirrel an embarrassing shrug. "No. It was left on the
bank. I am wearing something to cover me down there..." The boy's eyes shine
when he peers down our bellies.
I'm startled when Curious Squirrel releases my shoulders. He falls down
my body until I tighten my hold of his little butt. The boy wraps his legs
around my butt. He looks down his belly, at his pole pressing against the
bulge in my loincloth.
"I can see it," whispers Curious Squirrel.
The Wah-ha cloth covering me is soaked from the river and being light in
color like a cloud, can't hide my erection. The boy's pole begins to lift
against his groin. I look around for anyone watching us again.
My eyes return to our touching. Only a thin cloth separates our dicks but
we can still pleasure them. It's very daring, but I pull over the boy's rear
end to mash our erections together. Curious Squirrel gasps. His legs tighten
around my backside to join into my game.
"Doesn't that feel good?" I ask. Curious Squirrel continues to peer down
our bellies. He won't answer me. When I loosen my hands around his butt, the
boy's legs relax. He stares at my bulge with awe. I peek down at his long pole
with a grin, knowing that it's making the boy feel real good.
I glance over my shoulder again. Glinting Riverstone sees me with her son
but she doesn't seem concerned. Her older son is being introduced to her
brother who lifts the boy into his arms.
I'm sharing a similar embrace with Curious Squirrel but I doubt the
warrior is enjoying his boy as much as I am. Legs tighten around my butt when
I pull over his, getting our dicks to rub. We're enjoying our male thrills.
Curious Squirrel releases his hold of my right arm for some reason. I
watch the boy lift my Wah-ha cloth. His eyes widen when he sees my big cock.
My hands pull over his butt cheeks and his legs tighten around mine, bringing
our bodies closer together. Only the oozing knob to my cock can be seen
sticking up between our bellies. The boy's stiff is covered by my bigger size.
They're rubbing together. Curious Squirrel reveals his thrills. The boy's eyes
narrow and he gasps for breath. I look around to see if we're being watched.
Our game should end before someone catches us.
I'm enjoying our embrace too much to stop myself. Curious Squirrel gives
me love eyes. I know that the boy doesn't understand what we're doing but he
feels the joy coming from our naked hug and allows it.
"Has anyone ever given you a 'growing-up' rite?" I ask.
Curious Squirrel shakes his head. His mouth opens but no words come out.
Was he going to ask me what that ritual is about? I'm reluctant to explain it.
If we were good friends and alone in the woods, I would initiate him properly
with my seed covering his balls to fill them with male strength.
My hands continue their beat over the boy's soft drum. His legs squeeze
mine. Our bodies keep the rhythm going to pleasure our dicks. My thrills are
building up but I won't allow myself to explode. I'm remembering how Sun Beam
of the Moss-bowl Tribe had been frightened after I consummated our embrace.
Little boys don't know what a man's excited cock can do from love making.
Curious Squirrel pants against my chest. His small hand loses its hold of
my Wah-ha cloth; it drops over our dicks. They continue to rub. The boy
reaches around for my back, clutching me as if never letting go. He buries his
face into my breast. I pull more quickly over his butt. His legs flex wildly
around mine. It's becoming difficult not to shoot my love to his belly.
I hear Curious Squirrel's high-pitched cry. Against my cock, I feel a
strong single throb coming from his erection. The boy's eyes flutter. Our game
ends. I've been breaking up the rhythm of my breaths to keep me from climax.
My balls really ache. Yet I'm glad to have shown this youth how his pole can
pleasure him. When the boy's older, he'll discover that he can do more than
piss with it.
Another boy stands before me. He's of age to wear deerskin flaps, about
eleven years old from the length of his hair falling down his shoulders.
"Why are you holding Curious Squirrel? You aren't related to us!"
I'm struck by this boy's unfriendly tone. He's concerned for his little
brother so I lower Curious Squirrel to the sandbar. My cloth drops down over
my cock. To divert the boy's attention from what we've been doing together, I
ask him his name.
"Ah. I'm Little Pine Cone."
The boy notices his brother's erection. He turns his head at me, staring
at the telling bulge under my thin Wah-ha cloth. I can see him putting things
together in his head from the way his eyes widen.
Curious Squirrel's hand is grabbed and the boys run along the sandbar,
their feet kicking up splashes past the women. They stop at the other end.
Little Pine Cone cups his hands around his mouth when he whispers something
into his brother's ear. Curious Squirrel peers in my direction.
I feel my heart being struck by an arrow. What things did Little Pine
Cone say to his brother about me? Nothing good, likely. I glance down at
myself, noticing how my dick is barely covered by the Wah-ha cloth hanging
down from my belt. There's no covering for my butt. Were they afraid of me?
Second Bird gestures for me to join him. I dive into the river, hoping
its chill will weaken my manly excitement so I won't have to face embarrassing
stares. Glinting Riverstone had seen me holding her son and Little Pine Cone
knew what we've been doing together.
When I near the women, I step back onto the sandbar. Water only comes up
to my ankles. Our mother grasps my hand fondly and she introduces me to
Glinting Riverstone. She doesn't know that we've already met.
"Thank you, Willow Bird for what you've done! I'm so happy to see my
mother, my brother and his daughters."
I become shy for some reason, my eyes lowering from hers. There's a grin
on my face though. I'm very happy for her. The boys return to their mother's
side. I won't look down at Curious Squirrel because if he were to give me
a frown, it would break my heart. I also fear that Little Pine Cone may tattle
on me to his mom.
The Split Tribe warriors glare at me. They know that I'm responsible for
this meeting and must see me as a trouble maker. I lift my eyes to my mother.
She nods her head with approval.
"It has been a good visit," announces Broad Shoulder. He faces the Split
Tribe warriors. "May you have a safe crossing to your side of the river."
Glinting Riverstone rushes to give her brother one last hug.
"When will I see you again?" she asks.
Broad Shoulder lowers his eyes. "I don't know. But I'll speak with my
chief and try to arrange more meetings between our People."
The woman is slow to release her brother. Broad Shoulder gives each of
his nephews a fond shoulder grip before he turns away. The man's daughters
answer his summons. Hands Weaving gives her daughter a wave of farewell before
she too follows the warrior into the river.
Second Bird comes to me. Before I can say a word, his arms are around me
in a fierce embrace. I hear his thoughts filling my head.
'You did it, my brother!"
'No. We did it!' I stare deep in Second Bird's eyes, my love for him
bursting in my heart. 'You are my second self. I couldn't have done this
without your help and I'm glad that it turned out well.'
'Should we make plans for another meeting?'
'No. Broad Shoulder told his sister that he would speak with our chief
about more meetings. Hopefully, it won't have to be done over a sandbar.'
'Yes. I saw what nearly happened to Night Fawn.'
I cringe from the memory of that. 'We've proven that a reunion can happen
without hands being raised in anger so I think more meetings will take place
in spite of the warriors' fears. If not, their women's pleas to visit with kin
will beat down their stubbornness until they relent.' Second Bird chuckles in
my ear.
Our embrace ends after only a few heart beats. Thinking to each other is
faster than if we were to speak words. I turn from my brother. The sandbar
empties of People when our two groups make their separate way back to the bank.
The two girls are held in Broad Shoulder's arms during the crossing. I
help my mother fight against the current. Hands Weaving is escorted by Ringed
Tail and Catch-fish-with-arrows. Often, I'm turning back to look for my
brother. He follows behind the women and children being helped across by the
four Split Tribe warriors. I give him a hand wave when he glances back at me.
When we reach the bank, I release a sigh of relief. The Split Tribesmen
have also made it across to their side of the river and for that, I am glad.
My plan worked! The women noisily chatter with others from our tribe who
reveal their longing to have visited with kin. I hope they'll get their
chance.
Ringed Tail and Catch-fish-with-arrows converse with a few warriors on
the bank. Broad Shoulder is talking with Oaken Strength. The war leader often
glances in my direction. I can read from his face that he's angry with me.
I spot my long breechclout and flint blade over the ground. My body is
quickly covered. Oaken Strength gestures for me to come over. I approach the
war leader with trepidation.
"Broad Shoulder has told me what you've done. Our chief will want to
speak with you after our council."
I nod my head in silent understanding. The men return to camp along with
the chatting women. Guards take up their position along the bank. I stay a
moment longer, glancing across the wide river for the Split Tribe. My brother
can no longer be seen.
After taking a piss, I head back to my tribe. I'm not looking forward to
meeting with my chief.
The tipis come into sight. People wave to me, revealing their excitement
that helps lift my heart. I'm glad that they're thinking better of me after
word had spread about my taking Smiles A Lot for a lover. Perhaps they will
come to accept that I'm Mahyee-na. I pass Bending Arrow as he sits outside his
tipi eating lunch with his wife, Spring-flowers-in-her-hair. The warrior
frowns. No gesture is given me in greeting.
I head for the shaman's lodge with a troubled heart. My life is still in
turmoil and there are those who don't approve of what I am. That warrior may
suspect what I've been doing with his son. I'm concerned that he will do
more than keep Crying Loon away from me.
As-a-crow is guarding the entrance to the shaman's lodge. I lift my hand
to him in greeting and he smiles. The man gives me a fond shoulder slap. Word
must have already spread about Hands Weaving's happy reunion with her family.
I enter the lodge with lifted spirits. Smiles A Lot is tending the old
man, helping him drink from a mug. When he sees me, the young shaman comes to
me with pleading in his eyes. He must have heard the excitement in camp but no
one bothered explaining it to him. I fall to my knees. The boy reaches for my
arm to make a connection for our thoughts.
'Did it go well?' he asks.
'Yes. It was a happy visit between a grandmother, her son and daughter
and their children.' Smiles A Lot doesn't press me to describe what happened.
I'm feeling tired. My eyes close for a moment of rest.
'I have given your shaman more willow's bark for the pain. It will help
him sleep.'
'I could use a drought to help me rest.'
'You've not recovered from this morning?'
I don't need to read Smiles A Lot to know that he's concerned for me. My
eyes close again. I try emptying my head of troubling thoughts.
I notice an uncomfortable tightness around my loins. When I reach into
the front of my breechclout, my fingers discover the wet Wah-ha cloth. I pull
it free from my thong belt. Smiles A Lot gives me a puzzled look.
I get to my feet and find a place in the rafters to hang my loincloth.
There are rows of tied herbs drying there. My Wah-ha cloth is reverently hung
away from them. I realize with sadness that it has been rinsed of the male
releases it held from Song Bird and Smiles A Lot after we made love. The river
has stolen their sweetness away.
I fall over a ground mat with much weariness. My eyes close in sleep.
I'm shaken awake by Smiles A Lot. Standing behind him is Oaken Strength
and his grim face reminds me that I have a meeting with the chief. I get to my
feet in silence. My eyes won't look at the war leader since I'm trying to put
on a brave face to hide my fear. I straighten my breechclout over my body. The
flint blade is found secured to my thong belt. I fetch a leather pouch that's
propped against the lodge wall and hang it over my shoulder, hoping that
Stands Talls' gift will lend me a manly appearance.
Oaken Strength gives me his nod of approval. He gestures for me to follow
him out the lodge but I give Smiles A Lot a quick hug. My thoughts fill his
head. 'I am going to my chief to answer what I've done.'
'That grandmother's reunion with her kin?' asks Smiles A Lot. 'You are in
trouble for making that come about?'
'Yes. It was done in a sneaky way without my tribe's approval.'
'It was a good thing you did, yes?'
'I will face my chief without shame. Long ago, he had asked my father to
rejoin our split tribes and Second Bird and I have taken up his sacred task. I
am proud of what I've done.'
'Good. Go to him with a strong heart!'
I squeeze Smiles A Lot. 'I love you!' He returns my love by kissing my
cheek. Oaken Strength coughs behind me. I slowly break from my lover's embrace
and follow the war leader outside.
As-a-crow reveals sympathy for me with his nervous grin. I shrug my
shoulders in reply. I'm taken through camp in silence. My heart lifts to see
women waving at me in passing. They're smiling. There are no men about to my
surprise. Perhaps they're meeting with the chief. I don't look forward to
facing their grim faces in council.
The chief's big tipi comes into sight. And as I suspected, there are a
crowd of warriors outside waiting for my arrival. Dew-on-the-petals and
Yellow Deerskin are pounding dust from several ground mats with their sticks.
I don't see Song Bird or Yellow Hair.
Oaken Strength announces his name outside the chief's door. I meekly
follow him inside. The old man is sitting before the fire, warming his hands.
He looks up at me and sighs.
"Thank you for bringing him," says Chief He-who-walks-beyond-all-others.
"Please go outside and guard the door."
I see surprise in the war leader's face but he nods with acceptance,
turning stiffly for the tipi's entrance. The door flap is dropped. The old
man bids me to sit down with him. I gesture my thanks, noticing that my hands
are shaking.
An uncomfortable silence is endured. I avoid looking into the dancing
flames but hear their whisperings when the burning wood hisses and pops.
There's a pleasant smell in the air. I feel for the smoking pouch hanging
down at my waist when a thought strikes me. Stands Talls' new clay pipe is
removed along with a pouch filled with tobacco. My chief watches me fill the
bowl. He holds a long stick into the flames for a moment, handing it to me so
that I can light my pipe.
A few puffs are taken. I try not to cough when my lungs burn. My pipe is
handed to the chief so that he can smoke from it. This ritual feels odd to me.
It's an act that's shared between men but I don't consider myself an equal to
this old chief.
My clay pipe is returned to me so I smoke from it. Only a few puffs. It
gives me a nice buzz and strength returns to my arms so they won't shake.
"That was gifted to you?" the chief asks.
"Yes. Stands Talls gave me this pouch in gratitude for helping his son."
"Hmm. You have made an impression on him and others of the Split Tribe."
I can only nod my head in reply. Not all their men think nicely of me, I
realize with sadness. Brings Word fears me. Elk Tail tries being friendly but
he is uncomfortable in my presence as is Makes Bows. They were part of Stands
Talls' search party for his son who'd been lost in the plains. The other Split
Tribe warriors have shown their hatred for me. They had beat me. In their
eyes, I'm merely a boy making trouble for them and acting stupid for trying to
get our tribes back together again.
"It must be hard to prove that you're no longer a boy in the eyes of
seasoned warriors."
I'm struck by my chief's words. He knows what I'm thinking!
"You've not told me what happened to you after your fasting ritual," the
chief asks. "Did you find your animal helper?"
My head nod answers the chief. I think back to when I was fasting in the
Wanderer's Cliffs for four days. My guardian, Tree Snake was murdered by a
Shew-owa scouting party and I was taken prisoner by them. Used for their
sexual pleasure. But I met my long-lost brother, Second Bird and with his
help, we fled them. It was not an easy escape for us. I had to kill.
Crumobia nearly killed me in the camp of the Painted People but he was
slain. I healed from my grave wounds there and a boy loved me. Sky Runner
showed me the value of friendship. We left their tribe in search of the Split
Tribe so that I could learn where my People had gone. I found Running Wolf on
the plains. He became my love boy, the One who will follow in my footsteps as
leader of the Mahyee-na.
Split Tribe warriors mistakenly attacked us, injuring Second Bird nearly
unto death. Snarling Bear of the Spear-bearing warriors met with me and he
tended my wolf bites. Tash-o-gwa raped Running Wolf after I had made love to
this boy, his path into Darkness leading him to becoming an evil Trickster.
So many things have happened to me. It now seems like such a long time ago.
How much should I reveal unto my chief?
"You've had a lot of growing up in these few moons."
I reveal the pain of my emerging manhood in my eyes for the chief to see.
He nods with understanding.
"You've discovered the pleasures of being a man though I'm troubled by
where your spirit has led you. Smiles A Lot is from the tribe of our enemies."
I'm stung by my chief's words. I blurt out, "Your nephew also loved a man
from the Spear-bearing People. He taught me what it means to be Mahyee-na!"
"Yes. But you have also shared that with the boys."
I have to look away, fearing what this old man knows about me and that he
disapproves of my actions. Is he about to scold me for loving Crying Loon?
"Our shaman wants you to follow in his footsteps, Willow Bird. Will you?"
I'm surprised by the change of direction in our conversation. I peer into
the chief's eyes, nodding my head in reply. He reveals compassion in his eyes
for me. The old man points his bony finger at my hair, reminding me that our
Father has marked me as one of His own who Walks in the Light.
"You will be shaman."
I draw strength from his belief in me. He is a wise man, our tribe's
respected leader! Something breaks in me. All my troubles and hidden doubts
pour out of me; I tell the old man about the evil stalking our tribes, that
I've been given power from our Father to combat the Trickster and that I need
Smiles A Lot to help train me as a shaman. All that and more is revealed to
him. He listens patiently. It take me a long time in telling.
"Hmm. Such heavy burdens for your shoulders, Willow Bird. I did not know.
I'll keep what you have said close to my breast. You should have come to me
sooner. I am your chief, the leader of our People so I need to know what's
happening in my tribe!"
I accept being scolded by my chief. My hands shake, reminding me that I'm
still holding my clay pipe that's since burned down. I tap out the ash against
my knee before returning it to my pouch.
"This day, I've heard that you acted for the good of our People."
My eyes lift to the old man's, wide with shock from hearing his unexpected
praise. "It was my father's task to rejoin our split tribes. Second Bird and I
are following in his footsteps and together, we have brought Hands Weaving's
family back together."
"Yes. Many of our warriors are angry with you because of how you
accomplished that."
I stare at my chief, hoping that he'll reveal what he thinks about what
I've done and approve of it.
"Night Fawn nearly drowned."
My face burns with shame at the chief's words.
"It was fortunate that her father was there to rescue her. Your plan for
a reunion could have turned into a funeral."
I stare at the fire. A part of me wants to reach out to the dancing
flames, to escape the harsh glare of my chief. They deny me. I hear the wood
sighing but no whisperings are given me. The old man has even more to say.
"The warriors of our tribe have spoken with me before you came. Some
think you should be banished because of your actions. Bending Arrow is very
angry for what you've done with his son. You have also been with my son in a
way that confuses his path in life. Since you've not yet been named a man, I
won't hold you accountable. You are trying to find your own path that has
upset the others."
"I am sorry."
"Hmm. A man must follow his own path," whispers the chief. "I can't hear
the drum beat that you dance to but I'm beginning to understand it."
I can't look at my chief's face. He is speaking too close to what I'm
struggling with in my heart.
"There are some warriors who see good in you. As-a-crow and Broad Shoulder
spoke in your defense. And our shaman thinks you are important to our tribe so
try to temper your actions with wisdom instead of acting rashly, Willow Bird!
You are no longer a boy."
"Are you saying that I am a man?"
"You are becoming one," answers the chief. "I've heard that you have
battled with our enemies and if you were to count coup before our men in
council, you'd be allowed to wear a warrior's feather."
I slowly shake my head. "I cannot do that. It's been revealed to me that
all the greatness that I'm to become is already within me. I must remain as
Willow Bird." I see puzzlement in the chief's face but he doesn't press me to
explain why I'm denying that honor.
"You were to be initiated by Big... your monedo. He would have wanted
you to become a warrior."
My heart is pained by the chief's words. I have to close my eyes. "My
path is different from what the other men are following," I explain. "I'll try
to become our tribe's next shaman."
"Hmm. An eagle's feather in your hair would grant you respect. A shaman
needs this if he is to lead."
"I still have much to learn. I'm no longer a boy but I don't feel like
I'm a man, either. I will do what I must for the good of our tribe and it's
through my actions that I prove my worth."
"Be a man in Smiles A Lot's arms," whispers the chief, "since that's
where your heart leads you. I don't know for how long our tribe can harbor him
so be warned."
I glare at my chief for a long moment, his cracked face is drowned from
sight by tears filling my eyes. I let them fall.
"Your monedo felt strongly for you too. Put on a brave face, Willow Bird!
I have seen many changes in my life. If we accept what our Father has planned
for us, we become stronger and can face the hardships ahead."
When the old man turns away, I quickly wipe my arm across my wet face. He
gets stiffly to his feet. An elk skin bag is fetched and the chief searches
through it for something. He turns to me with a grin. In the man's hands is a
small deerskin pouch tied to a thong. He gestures for me to approach.
"You've lost your sacred bundle that your monedo crafted for you?"
"Yes. The Shew-owa warriors had stomped its contents into the dirt."
"Wear this around your neck," explains the chief, "and fill it with
objects that prove your worth unto Wah-Conda, our All Seeing Father."
The old man brings the thong around me, tying it at the back of my neck.
I look down at the small pouch dropped against my chest. He stands back to
look at me with approval. My heart bursts with joy for his gift. I rush to
embrace him. 'My chief, I will try to act as a man!'
Tears fill my eyes so I can't see the chief's reaction to hearing my
thoughts in his head.
"Ah, Willow Bird. Go out to the men of our tribe as one of them."
I raise my right hand to the chief, turn, and slip out the tipi door.
A crowd of warriors greet me with silent stares. Their talking has stopped to
see if I will say anything.
Many of them frown. Broad Shoulder nods his head at me and that lends me
strength. Do they notice what I'm wearing around my neck? I am one of them!
The chief's wives are talking with some women who turn their eyes in my
direction. When it seems that they might speak with me, I walk in the opposite
direction, towards the woods. Relief fills me. I'm feeling the need to be
alone with my thoughts.
The air feels cooler in the forest. I breathe in its many scents, my hand
reaching out to greet each tree: long slim pines, an old gnarled oak and I
come to a stand of willows. A smile comes to my lips. They are my namesake
and I will use their bark to cover my Mahyee-na lodge in the moons ahead.
Peace fills my heart. I feel that the heavy burdens have been lifted from
my shoulders after speaking with my chief. He has been given all my secrets,
and though that old man doesn't approve of all the things I've done, he is
coming to accept my spirit.
A yawn escapes from my mouth. I'm feeling very tired. I could go to the
shaman's lodge to sleep but that means having to face my People. Women would
likely ask me when another meeting will take place while the men would glare
at me. I can't return until I've sorted out my troubling thoughts and had some
rest!
A grandfather willow draws my attention. He has a gnarled trunk that
would make for easily climbing. His weeping fingers nearly touch the ground.
I feel the need of his protection while I take a nap.
I pull my thong belt from my waist. My long deerskin flap drops to the
tree roots. My smoking pouch is placed against the trunk. Naked, I reach up
for one of his arms and lift myself into the grandfather willow, climbing into
the center of where his weeping branches begin stretching out for the ground.
My butt presses against the smooth bark.
I clear my head of thoughts. With arms dropped at my sides, I lay my head
back against one of his broad arms and join my spirit with this old willow.
My father cradles me in his arms, singing a sweet bed song that I've
nearly forgotten:
"Lay down your weary head, my son and dream only good things
in the night. I will always be with you. Watching over you
to keep the Trickster away..."
I awaken with tears in my eyes. "Oh, father. Where are you?" My dream is
already fading, leaving me feeling very alone. I miss having his strong arms
around me that protected me from harm.
My body feels chilled. I look for Father Sun and realize that he's fallen
down His sky. It will be dark soon. I raise my stiff body from the center of
this willow and make my careful climb down. My feet drop to the ground. I
fetch my breechclout and cover my body. The smoking pouch is hung from my
shoulder. I press my palm against the willow's shaggy trunk to offer my thanks
for having watched over me.
I dart through the dark woods with a spring in my step. When the glowing
tipis of my tribe come into sight, I slow to a walk. I'm ready to face my
People again with a light heart but no one is about. I make my way to the
shaman's lodge. Often, I'm fingering the chief's gift around my neck. The
deerskin pouch will need to be filled.
As-a-crow greets me outside the door. He looks tired so I don't linger to
speak with him. I step inside after speaking my name. Smiles A Lot is already
on his feet, rushing to embrace me.
'I was worried for you when you didn't return! Was it a difficult council
with the chief and his warriors?'
'No. My chief spoke with me alone.' Smiles A Lot notices the small
deerskin pouch against my chest. 'He gifted that to me. I'm to fill it with
sacred objects as if it were my sacred bundle.'
I glance past Smiles A Lot to look for the shaman. He notices the
direction of my thoughts and pulls from my arms, taking my hand to lead me to
the old man. His eyes are closed in sleep.
'Your shaman is growing stronger. He spoke this evening so I went outside
to get our door guard to hear his words. That warrior who wears crow feathers
in his hair.'
'He is called As-a-crow.'
'Yes. He spoke with your shaman at length. Your chief was summoned and
they also spoke though I could only catch a few of their words.'
I turn to Smiles A Lot. 'What did they say?'
'They talked about you! I am not sure what they said but from the tone of
their conversation and what few words I could catch, they were good things.'
I kneel beside the old man. His hands are crossed over his chest that
rises and falls with easy breaths. I become alarmed when seeing that my acorn
is missing!
'It rests next to him,' explains Smiles A Lot. 'I felt that the seed was
being drained unto death by the shaman holding it all the time. It is powerful
medicine. Not to be used lightly.'
An idea comes to me. I search the ground around the old man and find my
acorn over an elk hide scrap. The small pouch is untied around my neck and I
reverently drop the sleeping seed into it.
'Use it when you're in need, Willow Bird. After using your powers that
drain your life's energy.'
I nod my head in agreement. My hands pull over the thong tied around my
neck to close the pouch. I look down at the shaman's face. He is resting
peacefully. A painted bandage covers his head, making me realize that the old
man will be a long time healing from his grave wound.
'After your chief left, I gave him more powdered willow's bark to drink
for the pain. He will be sleeping deep throughout the night.'
I turn my gaze on Smiles A Lot, catching his hint. The boy smiles. My
arms reach around him in a loving embrace. Our lips meet. We kiss sweetly,
passionately! I feel the aching from my balls returning for not finishing my
act with Curious Squirrel but I know that this boy in my arms is not scared to
satisfy the needs of our bodies.
'A moment, Willow Bird! Tell me what happened in the chief's tipi.'
I reluctantly end our kissing. Smiles A Lot slowly pulls from my arms and
he has me sit around the fire with him. We hold hands.
'Your body is chilled from the night,' explains Smiles A Lot. 'Where were
you all day?'
I open my thoughts to him, Showing Smiles A Lot what I spoke about with
my chief and that I had slept in the arms of a grandfather willow.
'The trees have accepted you, Willow Bird as someone they will watch over
and protect. That acorn proves it. Your gift of Spirit Speaking opens you to
all the other spirits that we can only plead unto with song.'
I nod my head. Big Horn had taught me the songs our People use to coax
the aid of spirits. My gift allows me to Speak directly with them. Not as
easily as I'm sharing my thoughts with Smiles A Lot but I have felt my
connection with the trees and their slow yet wise spirits responded to me.
'Where are you, Willow Bird?'
I realize that I've been guarding my thoughts from Smiles A Lot. It comes
more easily when I feel the need to think alone. 'I am learning to control my
Father's gift but I'll need your help with Changing and to Heal.'
'That will take a long time,' answers Smiles A Lot. 'I began my training
as a young boy under Snarling Bear's guidance.'
I glance at where our shaman is sleeping. 'His wounds won't heal for
another moon. We have that time together.' The unmentioned thing makes Smiles
A Lot become sad. I feel his dread for when the Split Tribe will ask to have
him back.
'I am ready for your teachings, Smiles A Lot.' I give the boy love eyes
and my lips wet in preparation to kiss. He shakes his head at me.
'A shaman must first learn how to control himself, what he's thinking
and how to listen to unseen things all around him before he can draw on the
aid of shy spirits.'
'Show me!'
'Ah, Willow Bird. Perhaps we should wait until morning when I have
rested. And you must not force results so quickly. Simply be, and it will
happen. It took many winters before I understood this from Snarling Bear.'
'We don't have that long together...'
'I know.'
There's a stirring in my loins for Smiles A Lot. We can perform shaman
concerns in the morning but we have this night to enjoy each other. I reach
out to kiss the boy. He accepts my need for love making. Our arms wrap around
each other, feeling over sweaty backs with our hands falling to clutch butts
covered by breechclouts. I grope to find the knot in his thong belt. Breaths
rush through my mouth in anticipation of our sweet joining.
There's a shout at the door. I hear Broad Shoulder's voice calling out
his name and that fills me with disappointment. My need for Smiles A Lot will
have to wait.
"Come in." I rush to my feet and greet the warrior. He's accompanied by
his wife, Morning Fawn. They're holding Hands Weaving between them who can't
stand without their support. Something is wrong with this old woman. She is
babbling to herself.
"What's happened?" I ask.
"Hands Weaving is feeling ill." Broad Shoulder and his wife help the old
woman sit over a ground mat by the fire.
"Our shaman is sleeping," I explain. "And he's not well enough to..."
Broad Shoulder nods his head in understanding. "There is no where else we
can go. Smiles A Lot was trained as a shaman and I've heard what he's been
doing for our shaman. Will you ask him to look at her?"
I turn to Smiles A Lot who's kneeling at my side and gesture what the
warrior has asked. He peers into Broad Shoulder's eyes for a long moment before
positioning himself in front of Hands Weaving. He studies the old woman. I
grip his elbow to hear his thoughts.
'Hmm. Not good. Ah, Willow Bird. Fetch me the shaman's rattle, his
healing pouch, a mug of sun water and a bundle of dried sage.'
I rush to my feet. The things are quickly found but when I return to
Smiles A Lot with my arms full, I realize that no words or gestures were
spoken between us before I acted. Had Broad Shoulder noticed?
The warrior's face is filled with concern for his mother. His wife, too.
Smiles A Lot offers the mug to Hands Weaving who has trouble holding it. She
is acting very weak, hands trembling. Broad Shoulder helps her to drink.
Smiles A Lot sticks the tied bundle of sage in the fire a moment until
it's burning. I smell its strong pleasant scent filling the lodge. A silent
prayer is offered unto Him when the young shaman raises his hands upwards. He
lowers his arms and holds the smoldering sage near Hands Weaving's face. He
begins shaking his buffalo scrotum rattle and I hear him singing with words
that I don't understand.
I'm afraid of disturbing Smiles A Lot's healing chant so I don't touch
him. Broad Shoulder watches it with a plain face. His wife reveals loathing.
It saddens me to see this and I realize that the young shaman was trained by
an enemy tribe. Their ways are different from ours but I know that a good
result can happen if they would only believe!
Silence fills the lodge. Smiles A Lot lowers the burning sage and his
rattle to the dirt. He turns to me and gestures with his hands.
'You have the power to heal in you, Willow Bird. Help me find what evil
spirits are troubling this woman.'
I'm unsure of what Smiles A Lot expects of me until he touches my arm.
'Your People will accept my help if you were to assist me,' his thoughts
explains. 'You do have the power to See. Together, we can help this old woman.'
'What should I do?'
Smiles A Lot lifts his hands for more gesturing. 'Place your hands around
this woman's neck.'
I get to me knees before Hands Weaving. On either side she is being
supported by Broad Shoulder and Morning Fawn. My hands slowly reach out to her
shoulders. In her eyes I see pain. Smiles A Lot's hands are laid over mine.
'Join your spirit with hers, Willow Bird. Not through Mind Speaking but
with your very being so that we can see what ails this woman.'
I close my eyes. Slow, easy breaths are taken through my nose when I
concentrate on doing what Smiles A Lot has asked. He helps center my being.
He is the guide when I make a path through unfamiliar woods in the dark. My
glowing ball fills my inner Sight. I draw it towards the old woman's. Hers is
fading unto death! A weakness to her heart, I think. Something must be done.
I join our glowing. I'm barely aware of Smiles A Lot's presence in my
head but he helps prevent me from pouring out my energy like a broken water
skin. I'm drained at an easier pace.
Utter joy fills my being to be connected to another. I want to help this
woman; I need to! She welcomes my glow as if I were her grandson giving her a
loving embrace. We're standing together in a wondrous place filled with Father
Sun's Golden Light.
My concentration is broken. Smiles A Lot has my hands in his own; there's
much concern in his face.
'That's enough, Willow Bird.'
I'm momentarily confused. 'What? Why have you pulled my hands away!'
Smiles A Lot grins. 'I was expecting you to help me See what ails the old
woman but you went ahead and Healed her.'
I blink my eyes a few times to clear them of tears. Hands Weaving is
sitting upright over the ground mat. She no longer needs the support of her
son and daughter-in-law. Broad Shoulder has grown wide in the eyes.
Smiles A Lot lifts his hands for gesturing, directed at the warrior.
'Your mother's heart was weakened. Has she been performing hard work or been
frightened by something?'
Broad Shoulder lifts his hands. 'She had crossed the river this afternoon
with Willow Bird,' he explains. 'After she returned from her reunion, she felt
ill. She collapsed after gathering her smoked meat from the drying racks. My
wife forced her to rest but her condition worsened.'
"I thought it was her heart!" says Night Fawn excitedly. "What did you
do, Willow Bird? She looks well again."
I lower my eyes with embarrassment after hearing the woman's words. They
are quickly gestured to Smiles A Lot so that he can understand what was said.
All eyes are on me.
'Willow Bird has been given the gift of Healing from our Father,' gestures
Smiles A Lot. 'Did not your shaman say that he will follow in his footsteps?'
He points out the sunbeam streaks in Willow Bird's hair.
I'm grateful to Smiles A Lot. It prevents me from saying something stupid
or having to lie about what I've done.
"I knew there was something good in you, boy!" says Hands Weaving. She
gets to her feet unaided.
Broad Shoulder rushes to his feet and he's accompanied by his wife. They
stay near the old woman but she scoffs their offer for help.
The warrior comes to stand before me. He grips my shoulder fondly and his
eyes peer deep into mine.
"I thank you for healing my mother. I thought she was going to die!"
I have to lower my eyes from his. Broad Shoulder turns to Smiles A Lot
and he slowly clasps that boy's shoulder. I see respect in the warrior's eyes
and much wonder. Smiles A Lot grins.
"No work her, to rest!" says Smiles A Lot.
The warrior nods with understanding. Hands Weaving clucks with dismay
when Night Fawn helps her to the door. Broad Shoulder turns to follow them out
of the lodge.
Smiles A Lot takes hold of my arms. He leads me to the back of the lodge
where our ground mats can be found. I give the boy a sly grin.
'Lay down, Willow Bird.'
He helps me down until I'm laying with my back against the ground mat. I
reach my arms out for him.
Smiles A Lot makes a sweeping hand gesture. 'No. You will feel the need
to sleep in a moment.'
Understanding fills me. I lift my hands for gesturing. 'Before then, will
you lay over me and give me a kiss?' The boy studies me a moment before he
does as I've asked. The warmth of his body comes over me. I feel that his
hands and legs are preventing his full weight from pressing down. He is
reluctant with his kisses. I feel down the boy's back until finding the rear
of his breechclout. My hands slip within to pull over his soft butt.
Smiles A Lot responds to our kissing. One of his hands reaches under my
head, cradling me. I feel his erection forming against me but to my dismay, my
cock won't grow. I pull on his belt. His breechclout is ripped away and the
boy helps bare my body under his. We become passionate. The boy stabs against
me but my erection is slow to form. Yet I'm enjoying our embrace. He obviously
needs me! I fondle his butt to try getting myself excited.
'Oh, how I love you Willow Bird!'
I feel my heart bursting for Smiles A Lot but my thoughts can't seem to
find their way into his head. The sensations of our struggling bodies fade.
I'm falling into darkness...
Big Horn embraces me with all of his love. I'm watching ourselves from
above as if I were a bird perched in a willow tree. When I try looking at
our nakedness, only glowing is seen. Radiating love comes from our joining. I
feel my monedo's spirit and the other he embraces that isn't me. Coyote Thief?
They notice my presence. Big Horn's glow reaches out to me like a beam of
sunlight. I feel his spiritual warmth and love striking me.
'Return to Mother Earth and be with the one you've come to love,' he asks.
Coyote Thief's beam also strikes me. An unfamiliar touch but I'm not
frightened. He gifts me with his love and understanding.
'Be with my son. Soon, you will join in a way that only those Above can
be utterly together. Remember, love of spirit is more than the clumsy joining
of flesh. You will become whole.'
The willow shakes as if from a strong wind. I'm about to take flight out
of this radiant forest to the safety of the ground. Big Horn offers me one
last kiss.
'Be strong, Willow Bird. I have loved you, love you and always will love
you! Let that be your strength. The one waiting below is worthy of your heart
so don't be afraid to give it to him.'
I'm falling. Joy is left behind and the safety I felt in that willow.
Only Big Horn's love held in my heart keeps me from crying out like a little
boy who's afraid of the dark.
Morning comes. I awaken with a start, feeling light hearted as if some
burden or concern has been taken from me. I look around the lodge for Smiles
A lot. He's helping the shaman drink soup from a bowl. It's smell fills me
with hunger. When I sit up, I see that my body is covered with my breechclout.
I curiously reach into the front of them. My balls feels clammy and I realize
that my lover released himself last night when we were laying together.
Smiles A Lot notices that I've awakened. When my eyes go to the pot of
soup set beside the fire, he takes the shaman's empty bowl and goes to fill
it. The boy kneels at my side with smiling eyes. I take the wooden bowl and
eagerly gulp it down.
It's good soup. There's an unusual flavor in it, reminding me that Smiles
A Lot comes from another People with strange ways and customs. I relish those
differences! When I study his face, I note its strange features. Sadness fills
me to see it marred by cuts and bruises. The torture that he's suffered from
the Split Tribesmen warn me that I should not give my heart to him. They will
want him back as my chief has warned. If I love him, my heart will break when
he's taken away to be killed.
I can't let that happen! I've fallen in love with Smiles A Lot so nothing
can change the way I feel about him. He must not die. I would follow him to
the Above than remain on our Mother with my hand empty again.
A half-remembered dream fills my head. No images, but I feel someone's
assurance that death is only an end for the body; spirit continues on.
"You think what?" asks Smiles A Lot.
"My love for you. I don't want to lose you and would die than let that
happen." Smiles A Lot continues to grin. "Do you understand what I've said?"
"Some. I like to hear to you say love me!"
Smiles A Lot gives me a hug. When his thoughts fill my head, I guard what
I've been thinking about, my wanting to join him in the Above if he were to
die. Only my hope for love is Shown the boy. He kisses me in response.
There's a low groan coming from the shaman. Smiles A Lot pulls from my
arms to tend to the old man. I get up from my ground mat. The boy gestures for
me to get him a mug of water. I find a half-filled water skin and fill the mug,
handing it to the young shaman. He adds some powdered willow's bark, stirring
it with his finger before giving it to the shaman to drink.
I kneel at my shaman's side. His eyes are bright and that fills me with
hope of his recovery. But when he tries speaking, his words are slurred and
difficult to understand. I find his hand and grip it.
'Get well, shaman!' I think.
'Smiles A Lot has been very good to me,' he answers. 'He will become a
great shaman but you are something more. Ah. I am not used to sharing my
thoughts, Willow Bird. You have been truly blessed by our Father.'
I'm unable to give a reply to the old man. Praise is always difficult for
me to accept. We continue to hold hands but I prevent my thoughts from being
read. The shaman is content to look at my face, studying me. I wonder what
he's thinking?
'You are in love again, Willow Bird.'
My eyes widen with surprise. 'Yes. Is that what you and the chief were
discussing yesterday?'
When the shaman nods his head, I see pain filling his eyes. 'Your head
wound is reminding you to remain still if it is to heal!'
'Using my own words against me, eh Willow Bird?'
The shaman had given this same warning to Song Bird when the boy tried
getting up from his ground mat and had felt the pain from the bear's claw
wounds over his butt, not yet healed.
Smiles A Lot lowers the empty mug to the ground. I feel the shaman's grip
of my hand loosening. His eyes close. I release his hand and turn to my lover
with a sigh. A thought strikes me. I give the boy a sly grin and raise my
hands for gesturing.
'My balls felt very sticky this morning.' Smiles A Lot blushes. I press
my advantage with my hands forming more words to say. 'I have rested enough.
Will you let me give you a sticky body?'
Smiles A Lot recovers from his embarrassment. 'You can lay over me and
stick in. That way, I wouldn't have to wait for those girls to finish washing
clothes on the bank before cleaning myself in the river.'
I feel a pleasant stirring in my loins. Smiles A Lot has a nice butt.
I've shot into him once and want to do it again and again! The boy smiles
knowingly. He jumps to his feet, rips the rear flap from his body and turns to
show me his butt. I stare at his rounded cheeks. Not as brown as the rest of
his sun-darkened body but his hole is tight and willing to take my violent
stabs that fill him with my love.
I laugh when Smiles A Lot bends over. His hands part his cute cheeks so
that he can show me his asshole. I reach into the front of my breechclout,
slipping my hard cock out from the side and point it at the boy. He turns his
head around, sees what I'm doing and laughs.
I'm filled with much desire to lay over Smiles A Lot, to join our bodies
in love. He's a boy that fulfills me by the smallness of his body, his good
heart and a gentle spirit. I know that our joining will be very good!
A man calls out his name by the door. Before Smiles A Lot can find his
rear cloth, Light-in-his-steps enters the lodge. I've managed to tuck my
erection back inside my breechclout before the man could see it.
I get to my feet and greet the warrior. I'm trying to use my body to
block his view of Smiles A Lot.
"Ah, I've come from our chief to see if the shaman is awake and can
speak with him again." He tries looking past Willow Bird.
I hear scuffling behind me but ignore it. "No. His head hurt him this
morning so he was given powdered willow's bark to drink that has put him to
sleep. I don't expect him to awake until later in the afternoon." The warrior
nods his head with understanding. Smiles A Lot comes to my side.
Light-in-his-steps frowns. I dare to grasp the warrior's arm and try to
read why he hates Smiles A Lot so much. There are quick images coming from
this man: him sticking into an enemy warrior's butt in the dark, comparing how
it looks to Smiles A Lot's rear end that he spied on when entering the lodge.
Lust in him to rape this boy!
The warrior pulls his arm away from me. I'm left feeling stunned, in
disbelief that this man could be Mahyee-na. Smiles A Lot presses against me. I
feel his connection and pass what I'd Seen from Light-in-his-steps to him.
'I think that was my father.'
I review Light-in-his-steps' memory of sticking into that enemy warrior.
It was dark. A summer's evening away from the tipis. He saw the older man's
butt being offered to him and he stuck in. There was much regret afterwards.
'A Thief of his seed.' Yet when Light-in-his-steps saw Smiles A Lot's butt, he
felt lust and noticed how it was smaller than that enemy warrior's. A boy's
size that couldn't escape his rape of it. Nor want to.
'I think this man's remark about his seed being taken by a 'thief' could
refer to my father, Coyote Thief,' explains Smiles A Lot. 'He had stayed with
your tribe last summer and could have given himself to this man.'
'He lusts for your butt!'
'That is a powerful desire in any man. If he needs me, I would let him
stick inside to relieve himself. Better that than to resort to rape but I felt
the confusion in this warrior. That he regretted taking my father. He saw my
butt and wanted to fuck me. I don't know if he's a man/lover. There were many
braves in my tribe who were without the comforts of a squaw. I gave myself to
them in the dark so they could have their minds on other pursuits during the
day. When becoming warriors, most of them only embraced their squaws when in
need.'
Smiles A Lot had told me about giving his butt to the men of his tribe
but I'm disturbed to think he would let Light-in-his-steps fuck him. I love
this boy! My sperm would be given him with a good heart, not just from lust.
Smiles A Lot reconsiders. 'No. I won't let this man take me.'
I'm forgetting our connection! My thoughts weren't guarded because of my
clashing emotions and shock but I'm relieved by his assurance not to let this
man stick in him.
Light-in-his-steps glares at the two boys. "Didn't Oaken Strength warn
you about 'being together' in the shaman's lodge?"
Anger fills me. "Is that what prevents you from sticking into Coyote
Thief's son?" The warrior's eyes widen as if from shock. He studies the
features to Smiles A Lot's face. I see recognition fill the man with dread.
Without another word, Light-in-his-steps makes a hasty retreat for the
door. He goes outside. Iron Bow sticks his head in a moment. I give the
warrior a morning's greeting with my hand to assure him that we are well.
Smiles A Lot grabs my hand. His thoughts are angry and very troubled.
'Did you say I was Coyote Thief's son and that he wanted to stick in me?'
'Yes. I wanted to read his reaction and I believe that he did mount your
father's butt.'
'That was not wise, Willow Bird. You have made this warrior very angry
with us just to confirm what we already suspected of him.'
'I don't care. My chief told me that some of our warriors had spoken in
council to have me banished because of my acts with boys. Light-in-his-steps
is just as bad by desiring to rape you.'
'No. You must control your temper, Willow Bird! I didn't know there was
this much hostility against you from the men you would lead as shaman!'
I lower my head with shame. What Smiles A Lot has told me is true. And my
chief had also warned me not to act rashly. I'm quick to anger and that makes
me act without wisdom.
Arms come around me. I welcome Smiles A Lot's embrace, his warmth against
my chest, our heads bumping together. Ouch! When I expect to hear more
scolding thoughts, the boy surprises me by remaining silent. I slowly relax
in his embrace. The boy rubs his short hair against mine. Tears fill my eyes
that I drop on him without shame.
I'm feeling sympathy from my lover. He holds me even closer, bringing my
wet face against his neck. I kiss over his soft lime-smelling skin. I don't
feel lust for this boy but the great need to release my pain. Oh, why am I
always feeling weak like a lost little boy all the time?
'You have suffered much pain. Cry it out, Willow Bird. When in the arms
of a lover, it is permitted.'
Big Horn's words being repeated to me!
'They were given him from my father. He was a wise, five-feathered
warrior who taught your monedo well and he passed on his teachings to you.'
I try to be brave. My tears end. After a while longer in Smiles A Lot's
arms, I'm feeling ready to face what this day will bring.
Smiles A Lot loosens his arms around me. I step back to look at him. The
boy has short hair and his face is that from another tribe but he feels things
like I do. He thinks as I do. We are both Mahyee-na and I do love him!
With a trembling voice, I reveal my full heart to Smiles A Lot at last.
"I love thee and wish to join our hearts with the pa-he-wat-che rite."
'You know about that hair love/embrace rite our People practice?'
gestures Smiles A Lot with surprise.
I nod my head. 'Big Horn performed it with me to join our hearts.'
'My father must have used that rite to join Big Horn to him.'
I peer at the boy to await his answer but it doesn't come. An awkward
silence passes. Hope in me dies. Smiles A Lot notices my anguish because he
presses is palm against my face. A soft smile is given me.
'I love you, Willow Bird but Snarling Bear had asked me to come and train
you to be a shaman. You love me as you loved your monedo.'
'No! It's more than that," I plead. "You're younger than him, someone
who fulfills me in ways that Big Horn never could. Our spirits are connected.
I know your heart. My body longs to join with yours because I'm most completed
to be with a boy.'
Smiles A Lot lifts his hands again for gesturing but his head drops to
his chest from anguish. 'I cannot let you love me that much.'
His rejection pains my heart. I Reach out to this boy to learn why he
won't love me! His thoughts can be read even though I'm not touching him. He
fears breaking my heart if he were to die across the river; not that he
doesn't love me. He does. Very much so! I rush to embrace Smiles A Lot and
assure him that we must love in spite of what may happen. I'm lost without
having his full love that I know he's trying to hide from me.
'I won't be the cause for your suffering if they take me away!'
My arms tighten even more around the boy. 'I am suffering by not having
you! You are not like Big Horn. He died, and left me with an empty hand but I
survived. My heart healed enough so that another could win it. You.'
'I don't want to break your heart, too!'
'Our love was meant to be! You loved my father but he couldn't return
those feelings but his son can.' I press my hand against my chest. 'Big Horn
loved your father. Those men passed on the Grandfather side of Mahyee-na to me
and you passed on the Grandmother side, culminating both parts of a loving
human being in me. It seems right that we should be lovers.'
I sense the last of Smiles A Lot's defenses crumbling. His arms tighten
around my back, so much so that breath if forced from my lungs. I squeeze the
boy hard and hear him gasping for breath.
"I love thee, Willow Bird."
Tears fill my eyes to hear him speak those words. I think about how the
pa-he-wat-che rite should be conducted but realize that we both have short
hair. The boy is startled when I laugh out loud.
When Smiles A Lot pushes me away to read my face, I finger my burned hair
and pull on his short locks. The boy's tense face gives way to a smile. His
giggling joins mine.
My eyes lift past him to the rafters. I see something there that could
bind our love pledges. With my flint blade in hand, I fetch Song Bird's Wah-ha
cloth that I'd left to dry. A long strip of white cloth is cut. And another.
Smiles A Lot looks down at what my hand offers him.
I touch the boy's right shoulder to connect our thoughts. 'Tie one around
my shoulder and speak your pledge of love and I will do the same.'
'I love you, Willow Bird but we should wait before binding ourselves!'
I nod my head with understanding. 'Yes. We need to get our hair to grow
longer...' When I lift my eyes at Smiles A Lot, he sees my sly grin and laughs.
'We will wear white arm bands to announce our intent to be bound lovers.'
Smiles A Lot nods his head. 'I would accept that. And you must think of
Crying Loon, where your feelings for him has a place in your heart. I must
admit my own love for that youth. Perhaps he could be bound to us as a third.'
I'm excited to think of including that boy in our love pledge but his
father would try to prevent it from happening.
Smiles A Lot ties a white band around my right arm. I don't reveal my
troubling thoughts to him about Crying Loon but task myself with wrapping his
right arm with the strip of Wah-ha cloth. I tie it and peer into his eyes.
'I love thee and wish to take thee as my lover. When the right moon comes, we
will bind our dicks together in the hair love/embrace rite and know how
Crying Loon is to be included in our love pledge.'
'I love thee, Willow Bird and wish to take thee as my lover.'
There are strong emotions tugging at Smiles A Lot's heart. He loves me
dearly but fears hurting me if he were to be killed by the Split Tribe. And
there's fear/doubt/concern in him about Crying Loon. He doesn't know where
that boy stands in our love or if he will even accept a place in it.
My eyes fall to Smiles A Lot's right arm and I look at my tied arm. I'm
comforted to see this clear sign of our love pledges. Everyone in the tribe
will see them and know!
'You don't think of the consequences of your actions, my love.'
I turn sharply to Smiles A Lot. 'My People may not accept my spirit but
they will see that I'm proud to be Mahyee-na and that I've chosen you.'
'That is what I'm afraid of.'
I take the boy's hands into my own. 'You've been cooped up in this lodge
long enough, my love. Walk with me through the tribe and be free!'
There's reluctance in Smiles A Lot to what I've asked but he allows me to
lead him to the door. We slip outside. Iron Bow is startled but he faces us
without his emotions showing. A frown comes to his lips when he sees our arm
bands. I'm saddened by his rejection of our love.
"Could you stay with our shaman for a while?" I ask. "Smiles A Lot and I
need to... see the chief." The warrior's eyes glance at my companion before he
answers me.
"I will watch over our shaman."
My head nods in gratitude. I lead Smiles A Lot away from the lodge. When
People come into sight, he pulls his hand from mine. Honey Suckle looks up
from her mat to smile at me. Her eyes narrow when seeing Smiles A Lot at my
side but before she can say anything, I give the woman a morning's greeting
and walk on.
We pass the tipis of my tribe in our slow walk through camp. Two young
girls run past, stopping a moment to stare at us. Dog Legs giggles. She
whispers something to her sister who stares at Smiles A Lot. They dart away
with sly smiles on their faces.
Dread fills my heart when we run into Catch-fish-with-arrows. I know how
much this brave hates the Spear-bearing People. When he lays eyes on my lover,
his face fills with anger. I lift my hand to him in a morning's greeting that
he returns as expected of him but nothing is offered to Smiles A Lot.
We pass the brave but he turns to speak at our hasty retreat.
"Be mindful that he doesn't take your scalp, Willow Bird and laugh all
the back to the Spear-bearing Tribe."
"You were proven wrong about Coyote Thief," is my snap reply. "He didn't
take my monedo's scalp and his son won't. Only my heart." I don't bother to
turn and look at Catch-fish-with-arrows to see his reaction.
Smiles A Lot glances at me with worry on his face. I don't know how much
he understood but my smile tries comforting my lover. I reach down to take
his hand. The boy shows reluctance. My grip tightens to prevent his escape.
More People are passed in silence. Women mostly, sitting over their
ground mats performing tasks: sewing, food preparation or simply watching the
morning go by. Many give us friendly hand waves or smile. I'm filled with hope
that my tribe will come to accept me and my lover. The men, however will be
another matter.
I push this troubling thought from my head so that I can enjoy this
moment with my companion. I'm often glancing at Smiles A Lot walking at my
side. We're holding hands, walking in step with each other. He stands a little
shorter than me. The boy wears only deerskin flaps compared to my lengthy
cloth a man wears. A flint blade is tied to my thong belt. Around my neck is a
sacred bundle given me by my chief. But what fills me with pride are our white
arm bands. Everyone who sees us together will know its significants.
My mother crosses our path. She stops to greet me, becoming startled to
find Smiles A Lot beside me. Her eyes study us. I can read her face, feeling
the turmoil inside her by our display.
I introduce Smiles A Lot to her. She feigns a smile during her greeting
but I know that she's very troubled. My companion lifts his hand in a return
greeting. An awkward silence passes.
"Ah, have you eaten?" asks Warm Hands.
"Yes." I regret my hasty reply because I think my mother was going to
ask us to her tipi. "Will you have us for lunch?"
Warm Hands nods. "I would welcome you and Smiles A Lot to my tipi."
I gesture her invitation to Smiles A Lot. He grins, bowing his head in a
show of respect to my mother. She looks embarrassed. I touch her shoulder and
give her a happy smile while my eyes plead to gain some measure of acceptance.
There's a change in my mother's expression. Gone is her shock. Her soft
smile is not feigned and that fills me with hope. I let go of Smiles A Lot's
hand so that I can give my mother a hug.
"I love you." My mother nods against me after hearing my whisper in her
ear. "We'll see you this afternoon." I pull my arms from Warm Hands and return
to my lover's side but we don't hold hands.
My mother glances at my lover for a moment before she walks away to
perform her morning chores. I wonder if she has enough meat? That is my
responsibility any son must perform in place of an absent father.
We continue our walk through camp. I'm not heading for a particular
destination but want to show Smiles A Lot around to my People, to let them see
him. He's been hiding in the shaman's lodge for too long. I want them to view
this 'enemy scout' for themselves and, I hope, see that he's not up to their
expectations of the rumors being spread about him. He's only a harmless boy.
I avoid the chief's tipi. Warriors often lingering around there and I'm
not ready to have Smiles A Lot face their anger and suspicions. Coyote Thief
had kept to himself in a lone tipi across the river. If Big Horn had showed
him in camp, that five feathered warrior from the tribe of our enemies would
have been harassed or even attacked.
We approach a group of boys playing a stick throwing game. The youngest
boy rolls a hoop over the ground that his friends toss sticks through. This
game helps train them with spear throwing, a skill they'll need when they
reach manhood. For most of these youths, that won't occur for many summers.
One boy is naked. The twin brothers wear meager flaps of deerskin that barely
cover their bodies. A tall youth named Fox Tail is thirteen. His breechclout
flaps only accents his development. He reminds me of Crying Loon which sends a
pang of longing into my heart.
Day Rabbit retrieves the fallen hoop from the ground. His cheeks spread,
giving me a quick peek of his butt hole. This boy is about to roll it again
when he notices our approach and hoots in warning. His three friends turn in
our direction, their eyes study us, especially Smiles A Lot. Pony Ear and his
brother, Pony Tail raise their hands to me in greeting but Fox Tail frowns.
"Who is that?" asks Day Rabbit.
I point to my companion and say, "This is Smiles A Lot..."
"... from the Spear-bearing Tribe!" shouts Fox Tail. "He's going to scalp
us if we turn our backs on him."
"No he isn't."
"That's what my father told me," answers Fox Tail.
I cringe inside. The other boys believe him and fear replaces their grins
and curious expressions. "Smiles A Lot has been tending to our shaman's head
wound and I'm learning healing skills from him. Did your father tell you that,
Fox Tail?"
The boy won't answer me. He kicks at a stick over the ground with his
left foot. An idea comes to me. "Day Rabbit, prepare to roll your hoop."
I gather up some of the boy's sticks from the ground and hand a few to
Smiles A Lot. I gesture for him to throw them. Day Rabbit under hands the
wooden hoop to get it rolling. I aim and throw my stick but miss. Smiles A Lot
throws his stick and it flies through without even touching the hoop. My
second stick flies true. Smiles A Lot's second throw is also a good one.
The air fills with the boys' high-pitched cheers. They quickly gather up
the sticks and Day Rabbit rolls the hoop again so they can continue playing
their game. It's a brisk activity. I get to enjoy peeking on little butts in
motion when they put a foot forward and throw their spears, rear cloths
flapping away from their small bodies. I glance at my companion with a grin.
He smiles back.
We linger a while to watch a few more rounds. Day Rabbit is excited by
the game, his erection flops against his belly. I remember having taken it
into my mouth for a gentle sucking and we had rubbed bellies together to pass
my seed to him in a growing-up rite. That had been a sweet moment for us both.
The twins manage to throw their sticks through the hoop about half the
time. I glimpsed Pony Ear's erection a few times by peeking through the side
of his breechclout. His brother's pole remains limp. Fox Tail is more aware of
my scrutiny so I've only managed to spy on his butt once during his stick
throws. His rounded curves are like Crying Loon's. I don't think he'd ever let
me enjoy the tightness of his hole.
Smiles A Lot touches my shoulder. He's ready to continue our walk through
camp so we leave the boys to their game. The tipis thin out when we reach the
forest. I lead my companion towards the river but away from where our warriors
are guarding the bank. I'm trying to find Song Bird. He has assumed my boyhood
responsibility of gathering grass for our tribe's horses. I wonder where he
goes to fetch them at this new camp site?
We walk at some distance from the bank, in a direction against the
river's flow. I know that there are cat tails ahead. That's where the women
and I had entered the river yesterday. Perhaps grass grows there too.
We pass a few thin trees. Bushes crowd the ground and threaten to scratch
our legs. Smiles A Lot is often looking around. I join him in our search for
Song Bird.
The bushes give way to cat tails. Not a thick stand. I spot a field of
tall grass growing along the river bank and that's where we find Song Bird.
His white brother, Yellow Hair is with them.
When my half brother sees me, he raises his right hand to us in greeting.
Yellow Hair drops the grass he was holding to study us. Fear is in his eyes.
"How have you been?" asks Song Bird.
I stand before this boy and give him a fond shoulder squeeze. Yellow Hair
steps back to avoid my touching him. "What's the matter with your brother?"
Song Bird lowers his eyes. "He is like that with everyone. Fearful and
shy like a rabbit after that night when..."
My eyes fall upon Yellow Hair. I notice changes in him since last we've
met. His pale body has since darkened under the summer sun. A thinner belly.
Has his hair become even lighter in color?
I raise my right hand to this boy in greeting. "How are you, Yellow Hair?
Do you remember me?"
The white youth turns to Second Bird with shy eyes. I gesture to Smiles A
Lot that this is the boy who Tash-o-gwa had raped and stole my silver ring
from. Concern fills his eyes but he remains still at my side.
I drop to my knees before the frightened youth. I study his freckled face
and am captivated by his blue eyes, narrowing in concentration when he looks
me over. The boy notices that I share some of his hair color but in streaks.
My fingers pull through my locks and I point at his yellow hair.
When I attempt to touch his head, the boy steps back from my reach. I
remain on my knees. Unmoving. My hand lowers and turns to show him my palm.
Grass tickles my feet. An idea comes to me. I find a thickly bladed stalk and
place it between my thumbs, closing my palms together. With the blade's edge
towards me, I blow hard. A shrill sound is made that makes Yellow Hair grin.
He is familiar with this game. The boy finds a suitable stalk of grass
and he presses his thumbs together and blows. It doesn't make a sound. He
tightens the blade by rubbing his palms together and tries again. The youth is
rewarded by its loud shriek.
I clap my hands and laugh. Song Bird joins into our game. Smiles A Lot,
too. We fill the air with high-pitched shrills until our blades of grass
break. The silence returns this youth to his shy, mistrusting state.
My eyes go to Yellow Hair with silent pleading. With my outstretched
hands lifting towards him, palms up, I try coaxing him to me. The boy glances
at Song Bird. A gesture is given him that it's okay.
A long anxious moment passes before Yellow Hair moves a right foot
forward and then his left until he's close enough for me to touch him. I
slowly reach for his arms. There's a friendly smile on my face. The white boy
peers down into my eyes to read my intent. I fill his head with my thoughts.
'Don't be scared.'
"Uh!" cries Yellow Hair. He steps back like a rabbit sensing a trap.
I slowly rise to my feet. Song Bird rushes behind the boy and lightly
grasps his shoulders. I see the calming affect in Yellow Hair. When I slowly
approach, the white youth tries backing away but Song Bird is behind him,
unmoving yet supportive. On my knees again, I reach out my right hand to him.
Not to touch him. I wait for the frightened youth to make the next move.
To my surprise, Yellow Hair drops his hand to touch mine. I don't think
anything for a long moment. The boy's emotions are felt: fear mixed with
curiosity of my strange ability. I allow some of my emotions to pass through:
sympathy and a brother's concern for his little brother. Yellow Hair slowly
responds. His fear goes away. He's expecting something more from me so I ask
him a question: 'Who showed you how to make a blade of grass cry out?'
Yellow Hair's eyes widen for a moment then they become sad. I sense his
anguish for someone he's lost.
'My father.'
'My father showed me how to do this too but he died.' We both mourn our
loss together. Yellow Hair's hand tightens around mine and he thinks some more.
'Are you Song Bird's brother?' asks Yellow Hair.
'Ah. We share the same father but it's a secret.' I can't lie to this
youth while we're Mind Speaking but I fear that something bad will happen for
breaking my oath.
'How can you be inside my head?'
'It is a gift from our Father.' The boy reveals confusion; he thinks I'm
referring to my dead father. 'No. Wah-Conda, the All Seeing Father. I will be
shaman of my tribe and He has given me powers to serve my People.'
'A shaman? Is that like a doctor who heals people?'
I nod my head. 'But more. I will lead our People spiritually, keep them
on the right path and prevent evil from harming us.' Yellow Hair pulls his
hand away as if burned. I'd seen a brief flash of memory that was very scary
for him: he was held against the ground in the dark.
I slowly rise to my feet. The frightened boy seems like he's prepared to
run away if I approach so I step sideways, to stand at Song Bird's side with
an idea. My hand rests over my brother's shoulder. I send my thoughts into him.
'Talk with him, my Little One. I will connect the both of you.'
Song Bird has been standing close behind Yellow Hair, his hands over the
youth's slim shoulders. Their touching connects them. I am the means for their
thoughts to travel to each other.
'Ah. Yellow Hair, can you hear me?'
'Song Bird?'
'It's me. Isn't this a neat trick of Willow Bird's? We can speak without
our mouths but don't think you can stop learning how to talk properly!'
'I already know how to speak,' answers Yellow Hair. 'You Indians speak
funny.'
'No, you! I've heard you speak harshly when you've become upset with
something I'm trying to teach you.'
'My people can understand me.'
'We are your People now.'
Yellow Hair stops thinking to us. I sense confusion in him and fear. He
remembers an aunt and uncle who live far away in a large camp that fills me
with wonder by it's huge square shapes rising high like trees where everyone
sleeps, the long streets filled with many strangers passing on foot or riding
in moving lodges being pulled by tied groups of horses and there are covered
canoes on the river that bellow like angry buffaloes breathing white smoke.
I sense awe coming from Song Bird. He's also Seen what a white man's huge
camp is like. Yellow Hair gives a name for that place: Stadt Santa Louis. That
white man's river encampment is filled with strange wondrous things that are
almost too unbelievable to imagine they could exist.
'I want to be with my aunt and uncle,' asks Yellow Hair.
Song Bird feels sad for his brother. 'They are too far away,' he explains.
'Yes. It took my mom and dad over three months in our wagon to find land
here in the West to settle a farm,' admits Yellow Hair, 'They died because of
me. God became angry with me and struck our cabin down with His thunderbolts.'
Great sadness comes from Yellow Hair. I hear the youth sobbing, all his
pain is coming out. He feels responsible for their deaths. Tremendous guilt.
He thinks that is why he's being punished and having to stay with a strange
People. He longs to return to his own kind.
'No. We don't want to hurt you!' thinks Song Bird. 'We love you. My
father traded you from that warrior who found you on the plains so that you
could be his second son.'
'He wants me to stay?'
'Yes. He loves you and feels bad that you have been sad these many days.'
'I was happy,' admits Yellow Hair. 'Then that boy, he did me as if I were
a girl and it hurt. I'm afraid of someone doing that again in my butt!'
'We won't ever let anyone hurt you again,' promises Song Bird. 'That evil
boy also struck our tribe's shaman and he killed Fire-singes-his-hair's son...'
I try warning Song Bird to stop telling him what Tash-o-gwa has done but
it's too late. Yellow Hair is frightened but I sense strength in him coming
from being told the truth. That he wasn't singled out to be harmed.
'Is that bad boy still hurting people?'
'Yes. But Willow Bird has power to stop him, and with our shaman's help,
we'll conduct a rite to scare him away.'
Yellow Hair wipes his arm across his wet face. He peers around Song Bird
to look at me.
'We have policemen to protect us,' explains the white boy. 'They have
guns and can shoot bad men dead. I want to go back there, to be safe with my
aunt and uncle. It is dangerous here! Will you help me go or let me write a
letter to them so they can come and get me?'
I sense the boy's determination. If we don't try to do as he's asked, he
will run away. He is foolish. The white boy doesn't know how far the white
men's camps are and that he'd have to pass enemy tribes who would grab him.
'I will help you,' promises Song Bird. 'There's no way that you can go
back on your own and we need all our men to hunt and guard our camp so they
can't take you but when a white trader comes, you can give him your message
and he will take it back to your aunt and uncle.'
'Thank you.'
I sigh with relief. My little brother has proven wiser than me. He has
appeased this boy's troubled heart and need to do something.
'What is his name?' asks Yellow Hair.
I see the boy's eyes staring at my lover. 'He is Smiles A Lot,' I answer
while pointing my finger at him. Smiles A Lot steps closer with a grin. The
white youth backs into Song Bird who wraps his arms around him protectively.
'He looks like that evil boy who attacked me!'
'No. Smiles A Lot would never hurt you!' I peer at my lover with new
eyes, noticing how similar he appears to Tash-o-gwa. Both are from the Spear-
bearing Tribe. They have short hair and frilled breechclouts hanging down
from their thong belts but I know how their spirits are as different as night
is to day.
'We should be gathering grass for the horses,' asks Song Bird.
My half brother makes me realize that a lot has happened here. Yellow Hair
needs to sort out what's been said and shown him but I think it has helped
calm some of his fears.
I raise my hand in farewell to the boys. Song Bird lifts his hand and so
does Yellow Hair. My heart is put at ease to see the change in this white
youth. He will still need to be cleansed of the evil done to him.
When I grasp Smiles A Lot's shoulder and turn him back towards camp, Song
Bird calls out to me.
"You should see the chief. He wants to know if your... companion has
anything to tell him about his tribe's plans to make war on us."
I raise my hand behind me in a gesture that I've understood his plea.
It's a thing I'm not looking forward to. Smiles A Lot will have to endure many
sets of hate-filled eyes if there are warriors holding council with our chief
this morning.
When the boys are gone from sight, I turn to Smiles A Lot. Touching his
arm connects our thoughts. 'We need to visit with my chief,' I explain. 'He
should be warned about your People's intent to make war on us and how Snarling
Bear's death and that boy Tash-o-gwa murdered will have bearing on that.'
'I was expecting this,' answers Smiles A Lot. 'At least you'll be at my
side and I'll take strength from your love that will protect me. I don't want
there to be a war but events are leading up to it. Your People must be warned.'
I sadly nod my head. We walk side by side along the bank without touching
so that we can be alone with our thoughts. When we near camp, I lead Smiles A
Lot away from the men guarding the bank. We head for the tall tipis.
I'm rushing us through camp in the hope that no one will stop to speak
with us. Only women going about their chores are seen. Many wave to me. I
return their morning greetings but my grim face lets them know that we are
hurrying to get somewhere.
A big tipi comes into sight. I approach it with much trepidation but know
that this meeting with my chief can no longer be avoided. It will put my lover
in a difficult position. I must think first of my tribe and hope Smiles A Lot
won't be pressed for information he can't reveal.
At the doorway, I announce my name. Smiles A Lot gives me a worried
glance. When I hear the chief bid me to enter, I slip past the door. There's a
low fire burning in the center of the tipi. A lone warrior is sitting with my
chief. Oaken Strength fixes his gaze on my companion.
"Ah, Willow Bird. Come and sit with us. We were just talking about you."
I sit across from the men over a ground mat. Smiles A Lot drops down at
my left side, slightly behind me as if he were my squaw. I find myself being
scrutinized for a long, uncomfortable moment. My hands are shaking so I bury
them beneath my legs.
The silence continues. I know that my chief is waiting for me to speak
but I'm unsure of where to begin.
"Everyone has been talking about what you did yesterday," says the chief.
"Excited talk to meet with their kin of the Split Tribe. What do you think can
be done so People can meet without standing over a sandbar?"
My face beams. "I agree that a river crossing on foot is too dangerous.
They have canoes over there," I suggest. "Let a small band come across and
hold a reunion on our bank."
"Hmm. That is what I've been thinking, Willow Bird. If the Split Tribe is
worried about their women coming here, we can take turns with our People going
to meet on their bank. Could you talk with Second Bird? Have him pass this
suggestion onto his chiefs?"
"I would be glad to!"
My hands have returned to my lap and they no longer shake. I glance at
Oaken Strength to see his small grin. Relief fills me to know that the war
leader approves. An idea comes to me. My pipe is removed from my smoking pouch
and I fill its bowl with tobacco. The chief holds a stick into the embers so
that I can light my pipe.
After taking a few testing puffs, I hand it to my chief. He draws smoke
before giving it to Oaken Strength. I watch the smoke curling around the
feathers in his hair with wonder. This moment I'm sharing with these men puts
me at ease. I am one of them! Oaken Strength returns my pipe which I offer to
Smiles A Lot. The boy fills his lungs. He coughs violently and that draws
amused grins from the men.
My pipe is returned. I draw smoke slowly so that I won't embarrass myself.
A pleasant buzz fills my head. My pipe is passed around again until all the
tobacco has burned.
The men are waiting for me to speak. I clean out my pipe and return it to
my smoking pouch while considering what I should say. There are many concerns
to be addressed. I'll start with the most important one.
"My chief, Smiles A Lot has told me that he fears the Spearing-bearing
Tribe will be making war on all the other tribes soon." Oaken Strength becomes
tense. The chief nods his head for me to continue.
"Shaman Snarling Bear had given us this same warning. It was his strong
voice in their councils that spoke against war but now he is gone. The
youngest son of the Split Tribe's Chief was murdered in the plains during his
journeying here and if they learn about it, Smiles A Lot warns me that will
enflame them even more to war with us even though it was Tash-o-gwa who had
done that evil deed. The Spear-bearing People would ask a kindred tribe, the
Shew-owa to join in their cause. I'm told that our tribes could not stand
against so many braves and warriors if they come!"
"Did Smiles A Lot say how many?"
I turn to Smiles A Lot and gesture all that was spoken. His hands lift.
'I haven't counted the numbers of men in your tribes but I'm sure that
the Plains Tribes, if they join in war would be thrice your numbers. Perhaps
more.'
Oaken Strength turns to his chief. A secret understanding passes between
them as if they were already aware of what Smiles A Lot has revealed.
"Snarling Bear had given me numbers," admits the chief. "It was his hope
to return to his tribe and prevent war but with his death, any hope of peace
died with him. When the Spear-bearing Chief's son fails to return, they will
assume that he was taken prisoner by us or killed."
While my chief's been speaking, I've been staring into the dying flames.
Hoping that something will be revealed unto me.
"I have spoken with my second wife," continues the chief. "She agrees
that two of our warriors should return her mother to the Spear-bearing Tribe
where they can explain what happened to Snarling Bear and their chief's son."
I'm feeling drawn to the Light. My hand reaches out and I make a
connection to the flames. Startling images are given me: Tash-o-gwa speaks in
council with the Spear-bearing warriors with his lies. He has temporarily cast
aside his Trickster's ash-covered body to appear as the boy he was. They
decide to make war on us, sneaking past the Painted People and other tribes so
they can avenge their peace party's deaths.
"... where I hope they will avert a war."
I raise my burnt hand from the flames and open it to show my chief the
truth of what will happen. "No! Our two warriors will be killed and their
warriors will come seeking for all our deaths anyway."
The chief's eyes widen with surprise. "What have you Seen, Willow Bird?"
"Tash-o-gwa will return to his tribe with lies!"
"He is the Trickster, is he not?" asks Oaken Strength.
I excitedly nod my head. "He's only been harassing our People with his
evil deeds. Whether he is chased away by our protection circle rites or just
goes away, he will return to the Spear-bearing People as the boy he was to
enflame them into war!"
Smiles A Lot takes my injured hand into his own. He peers up at me with
pleading in his eyes to tell him what I've Seen and told my chief. I do so
with the speed of thought. He nods his head with understanding.
'The Trickster's plan is a clever one,' comments Smiles A Lot.
"Can't you find him, Willow Bird before he returns to his tribe with his
lies?" asks Oaken Strength. "I can rally my men to strike him down!"
I sadly shake my head at the war leader's plan. "The Trickster hides in
shadows from which he strikes us. I have power but I'm as yet untrained and
unable to find him or even hope to defeat him." In a lower whisper, "He is but
a servant of the Darkness-that-comes."
The chief releases an angry hiss between his teeth. His hands reach high
into the air, eyes lifted to the smoke hole when he mutters a prayer unto our
Father. Violent gestures are made towards the four corners of his tipi. Oaken
Strength is dismayed by his chief's need to ward against evil.
"I've not heard of... that master you spoke of, Willow Bird. Who is he?"
The chief glares angrily at his war leader. He speaks in a low whisper.
"A fallen spirit. He gathers all the other evil spirits into His hands to
bring death to all life. I will say no more!"
An uneasy silence fills the tipi. I pass what has been said to my lover
from our connection of holding hands. Smiles A Lot cringes inside.
"You have done well by coming here, Willow Bird and I have much to think
about. Do not speak about what was said to anyone!"
I nod my head in a gesture of my unspoken promise. When it seems that my
chief is expecting us to get up and leave, I remember another matter that has
to be discussed.
"I've spoken with your son, Yellow Hair. I know what's been troubling him
and it has nothing to do with you, my chief." The old man's eyes fix on mine.
I continue. "He told me that his parents died when their cabin burned to the
ground during a lightning storm. He has an aunt and uncle in Stadt Santa Louis.
Ah, a large white man's camp far from here. He said they would raise him."
"He is unhappy here?" asks the chief in a pained voice.
I keep my face expressionless. "He feels responsible for angering our
Father and believes that was why his parents were killed and how he came to
live with our tribe. To be punished. We told him that was not so! Yet the
white boy hopes to return to his kin. Song Bird told him that when a white
trader visits, he could give him a message to be passed onto them."
Oaken Strength huffs with disbelief. "How could he have told you all that,
Willow Bird? That white youth can barely speak our tongue and no gesturing!"
The chief quiets him with a sweeping hand gesture. I continue to speak.
"Yellow Hair was... harmed by Tash-o-gwa and he has become fearful of us. If I
can work with the boy, talk with him some more, he may find it easier to stay
with us and want to remain your son."
"Hmm. I would want that, Willow Bird.
"What talk is this?" asks Oaken Strength. "Our chief traded much to have
him and the boy is treated well. I know that it must be hard for him to learn
our ways, to speak and how he should act. Yellow Hair must forget about
leaving. His kin are too far away for him to be returned to them."
"Yes. That is so," I answer. "He is not even one of the People so his
adjustment is harder than most. When Tash-o-gwa hurt him, he stopped wanting
to learn to talk and all hope for happiness fled. Song Bird has tried to be a
brother to him and even a friend but the Darkness taints his spirit. He will
need to be cleansed."
"Hmm. I have heard of your 'cleansing' rites!"
I ignore the war leaders insult. "Do I have your permission to help him,
my chief?"
The old man glances at Oaken Strength before making his decision. "You
may, Willow Bird but I would want our shaman to conduct any necessary rituals.
Speak with him and try to get the boy to understand how it is. He is far away
from the white men's camps and it would break my heart to see him go."
I nod my head with understanding. Oaken Strength's eyes blaze but he
keeps himself in check because of his chief. I know that the warrior doesn't
believe that I've learned so much from Yellow Hair. Perhaps this is the right
moment to show him one of my Father's gifts that I've been blessed with.
I raise my hands for gesturing. 'Can you see my words, Oaken Strength?'
The war leader turns to his chief in disbelief, he doesn't understand the
point I'm trying to make. "There are different ways of communicating. You can
hear my words if they're spoken in a language that you can understand and if
not, we can hand sign between us." I swallow nervously in my throat. "Give me
your hand."
The chief nods his head to get Oaken Strength to do as I've asked. The
warrior lifts his right hand from his lap and offers it to me. I reach out and
lightly rest my fingertips over his palm. 'Now you can hear me in your head.'
"What is this?" the warrior shouts.
Chief He-who-walks-beyond-all-others softly laughs. Smiles A Lot grins. I
gesture with my hand for us to touch again. The warrior does so, reluctantly.
'This gift of Mind Speaking was given me from our Father.' I raise my eyes
upwards for the tipi's smoke hole and with my raised left hand, offer my
thanks to Him.
'You are a strange boy!'
I speak my reply as well as Send it to Oaken Strength: "Yes. My path in
life is different from the others but I have been doing my best to understand
what's expected of me, to be a man and the next shaman of our People." I stop
speaking so only the warrior can hear me. 'I am sorry for not consulting with
you about arranging that river reunion between Hands Weaving and her kin. I
didn't think you would have allowed it.'
"No. I wouldn't! You nearly had Night Fawn drowned."
I lower my head with shame, my hand falls from his to end our connection.
The fire crackles during the long silence. When I dare lift my eyes to the
warrior's, I read a measure of understanding coming to him though.
"It is true then, what Broad Shoulder said about you healing his mother."
I nod my head in reply. Pointing at Smiles A Lot, I answer: "He helped me
use this gift from our Father. I have the power but not much control over it.
He is teaching me what I need to know."
Oaken Strength glares at his chief. "You knew?"
The old man nods. "You must not tell others about Willow Bird!"
The war leader recognizes his chief's command for silence and he nods his
head in agreement.
"What else can you do?" asks Oaken Strength.
I turn to my chief for his advice. The old man flashes his eyes in
warning so I remain quiet.
"Did not our shaman say that Willow Bird is to follow in his footsteps?"
asks the chief. "You can see the mark our Father has bestowed on him. I believe
that he has been tasked to help our People through the difficult times ahead."
"Can you use your powers to kill our enemies?"
I peer into the war leader's bright eyes. "No. My gifts are only to be
used for peaceful results, that is the path of a shaman."
Oaken Strength tries hiding his disappointment. "Ah, Willow Bird. You say
that Smiles A Lot is helping to train you with these... powers?"
"Yes. His shaman, Snarling Bear was to do this thing but he traded his
place in the Above with our shaman."
"Why did he? Why would a warrior from the tribe of our enemies help us?"
"Snarling Bear was also a shaman. He believed in peace so when he learned
that his tribe planned to war with us and the other tribes, he came to warn us
did he not? He also wanted to train me."
"Cannot our own shaman do this?"
"I will learn much from him, to uphold the sacred rites of our People but
where my gifts are concerned, I need special training."
"This boy can help you?"
I nod my head. "He has already. I healed Hands Weaving only through his
guidance, otherwise my life could have been traded for hers."
"Ah. Why haven't you healed our shaman?"
My head lowers. "He is badly wounded by his head blow," I answer. "I'll
need more training in Healing before attempting that."
"Smiles A Lot has already done much good for him," adds the chief.
"Yes. This I have seen with my own eyes. Does he have powers, too?"
I slowly shake my head. "Not as strong as mine but Snarling Bear taught
him well and he'll pass that knowledge onto me."
Oaken Strength's eyes widen. "I must warn you, Willow Bird. Do not leave
Smiles A Lot alone for even a moment! There are those in the tribe who would
take matters into their own hands. The Split Tribe have demanded his return."
The chief turns his head in anger at the warrior. "Why was I not told?"
Oaken Strength lowers his eyes with shame. "I kept silent because it was
for the good of our tribe and you could claim ignorance afterwards. This boy
is from the tribe of our enemies. He and Willow Bird have been together! That
angers many of my warriors and braves. They see a simple way to be rid of many
problems at once."
I dare not turn to Smiles A Lot since my face if filled with rage and
fear. If he were to see it, his smile would disappear and fear would possess
him just as it has taken over Yellow Hair's spirit.
"You will tell our men not to do anything against Smiles A Lot! Do not
reveal to them what you've heard in my tipi. Say that he is needed for a while
longer to tend our shaman. That is the truth."
"I hear you, my chief."
A weary sigh comes from the old man. He drops his head to his chest, eyes
closing. Oaken Strength rises to his feet. With a silent gesture, the man asks
for us to leave our chief in peace. We get to our feet. Outside the tipi, my
war leader turns to me with his eyes lowered. He speaks for my ears alone.
"I am learning more about you, Willow Bird. The burdens that you carry
for the good of our People. I thought you were an irresponsible boy! I still
don't accept where your path in life leads you (while glancing at Smiles A Lot)
but I've seen your heart and it is good."
I grasp the warrior's right arm to think to him. 'Thank you for your kind
words. I will try to place my trust in you from now on.' The war leader lifts
his eyes to me. He gestures acceptance with his head nod.
Smiles A Lot and I walk away, deep in our thoughts. People wave to me in
passing but my eyes won't look at anyone. I'm feeling more and more like a man
of my tribe. I will try to act like one.
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End of file: SHAMAN4.TXT The story continues in: SHAMAN5.TXT