AUTHOR'S NOTE:  I'm giving away free copies of my Windows compatible cd-roms:
                "Artwork & Stories of Vince Water". These are updated discs
                that were sold in the A Different Light bookstores. Please
                look to the end of this story for details.

******************************************************************************
 SHAMAN-WILLOW-BIRD-9                           "Shaman Willow Bird" series
 Shaman Willow Bird (part 9)                    (C) 2001, 2002 by Vince Water
******************************************************************************
*                            "Shaman Willow Bird"                       2/02 *
*                                  (part 9)                                  *

     Sometime in the night, I awaken with a man's strong arms around me. They
are trembling but not from the cold. My sleepy head begs me to return to
sleep but I resist that temptation since my lover is in need. Me too! I feel
the warrior's male bulge against my butt, straining to be freed of its flap of
deerskin. There's nothing covering me back there. A sly grin forms on my lips
when I slip my hand back to find Big Horn's cock.

     My palm presses against the man's oozing. I close my fingers around his
stiff heat that seeks to be in my body and Oh how that pleases me! I'm itching
to get fucked by my lover. He is a man older than myself. Wise. My monedo to
teach me the warrior ways when boyhood is left behind like a dried snake's
skin. I have become his student in all things. To learn what love is that
goes beyond friendship for a friend, a child's gratefulness to his parents or
the fondness for toys. I can love another totally with my heart, my head and
with my body. That is what Big Horn is to me. My bonded mate. He is in need
and I will satisfy him.

     A deep yawn fills my mouth. I try shaking my head of sleep that resists
waking up. I'm struck cold by a sharp emotion. I have to gasp for breath when
my heart is squeezed in a death hold and it feels like there's a rock in my
stomach. Not from the anticipation of sex but from something else. What is
wrong with me? My eyes open to utter darkness and there's an emptiness within
me as if I've lost something important. I can't remember what it is though.
Doubt is cast away though I'm left with a strange feeling of loneliness.

     The man's cock throbs in my hand. I free it from his breechclout and
slip it between my cheeks, helping Big Horn find entrance inside me. My
asshole opens around his knob. It goes in! I ignore the sharp pain when the
warrior stabs deeply through my butt. I'm trying to yield to his power. His
arms tighten around my shoulders when our bodies come together. I feel his
groin hair against my cheeks. With a lusty groan, my warrior begins his
thrusts so I submit to his urgent need to seed my boyness.

     My dick responds. A swift swelling that pushes against my front flap. I
begin my own stabs through my hand. While my lover expresses his maleness in
back of me, I long to be with someone else. A boyhood friend. I won't deny
Big Horn's use of my willing body - we are bonded lovers and I truly love him!
but the front of my body finds satisfaction in lesser males. Those younger
than myself who need me to pass on my monedo's Mahyee-na teachings.

     Song Bird's smiling face comes before my closed eyes. His thin arms are
reaching out to me in the river in want of my naked embrace, our slippery
bodies coming together in the cold water that leads to more than a hug of
warmth. A joining of our hearts, too.

     My friend releases a sharp gasp when our loins come together. The boy
doesn't lower his eyes from mine as I'm expecting him to. I know how shy he
can be about such things. Does he see that same intense longing in my eyes to
be holding him in my arms?

     I'm drowning in Song Bird's eyes, his beautiful brown flowing with
gentleness into mine. He has a soft smile on his face. When his hands squeeze
my butt, I feel a deep pang of emotion weaken my resolve. My eyes mirror what
I'm feeling inside. I'm truly naked before my friend.

     Fog obscures my sight of the boy. I try finding him in the dark water but
realize that this is only a sweet dream of what has been, a long-ago memory of
when we lost our innocence together. Big Horn had taught me adult things and I
shared them with Song Bird. He was my first true love!

     The tender sensation of having this boy in my arms slips away. Returning
to sleep may regain those sweet feelings, Song Bird's love that is denied me
when I am awake but there's only darkness. My heart is left feeling empty
without him. Oh, a terribly bitter thing! until I remember another that I love.
The man holding me offers his adult love and protection. He gives me balance.

     I stand in that place in my life where I'm more than a boy yet not a man.
Big Horn leads me down his path. I turn back to the boys who want to follow in
my footsteps, waving them forward with my monedo's teachings and what joy it is
to be making love to them! That is how my spirit directs me. I accept manly
need in back of my body that empowers me to pass that on to younger boys with
my dick in their butts. Both halves of Mah Nayee have culminated in me from
the Grandmother side and the Grandfather side. I've accepted this in myself.

     'Yes. You are Willow Bird! All the greatness that you are to become is
already within you so pour out your wanting spirit like water to satisfy the
thirsts of those in need. Love boys. They are in need of your guidance and
strength as you walk in the Light.'

     I Hear that familiar voice in my head. It's Ring Boy.

     'Your body serves as my vessel until you can win back from the Trickster
what was stolen from me. Don't allow Darkness to restrain your spirit! Forget
anger and the hatred you bear against those who have hurt you. Seek wisdom on
this mountain to mend your broken heart and regain your balance. You have not
been forsaken by our Father. Be brave!'

     That inner voice fades. I'm left puzzled by his words about the mountain.
Oh, I remember now. Big Horn has taken me on a visit with the Moss-bowl Tribe.
They are a strange People. I've met some of their lustier warriors who have
found relief in my lover and I. Shakes-like-the-ground has proved to be quite
a man when he fucked us both good. Yet he can be gentle too.

     Another yawn escapes me. It's getting harder to resist falling back to
sleep. Dreamy images flash in my head that are too quick for me to dwell on.
I'm running in the dark from something very scary. I've lost someone dear to
me. The pain! Shakes-like-the-ground protects me in the crook of his right
arm when finding me wandering in the plains. I've noticed his roaming eyes
over me, especially my backside but he knows of my pain and tries comforting
me. Where is Big Horn?

     The painful pounding in my butt wakes me up. I feel the man's cock
stiffening. He must be close to cumming. I'm trapped within his strong arms
around my shoulders, his surging hands over my breast while he plows the rear
of my body. It is a sweet pain. I have given myself to my lover before and
relish each joining that gives male expression to our love. Even when it
hurts. Oh, my dick throbs so much when he sticks me deep and hard! Almost as
if I am going to shoot.

     "Oh, Big Horn!"

     The painful stabs end. I feel my lover's swollen cock in my butt but I
don't think he has shot in me. There were no moans from him or ending kisses.
I sense something wrong so with my left hand, I reach back to Big Horn's
sweaty cheeks, pulling over them to coax his thrusts to continue. I'm in need
of his love that is proven each time our bodies join in mating. I'll win his
seed in me and he'll love me for it.

     My dick throbs when the man savagely stabs me some more. It's almost as
if my lover is very angry with me. Such pain! His fingers dig into my chest
when he clutches me to prevent my escape. I hear the squishy slapping of his
cock plowing my ass when I back into his forward blows. My nose fills with the
musky male odors of sex. His harsh breaths blow against my left ear.

     I feel the man's toes curling against my heels. He drives himself towards
completion in my body that wants him utterly. Needs his love inside me! I can't
bear the pain anymore so I cry out in the dark. My high-pitched wail is joined
by the man's low groan of satisfaction. We have mated.

     My lips form a sly smile in the dark for what my lover has done. I've
drained his manhood. Feeling my own need, I clutch Big Horn's left hand and
pull it down to my dick. He slowly tightens his fingers around my stabs. If I
weren't feeling so sleepy, I'd be crawling over his back to fuck him for an
equal trade of male pleasure but I'm content with simply beating off.

     I hump my butt against the man's hairy groin to force his lusty thrusts.
Though Big Horn is spent, I'm in need to come out. My left hand pulls over his
sweaty ass to enjoy his manly motion back there. I stab forward into his hand.
Pulling back to impale my butt fully onto his cock, I feel his butt cheeks
tightening under my palm when forcing his stabs inside me. What a thrill!

     There's an uncomfortable sensation from my butt. Filled from this man
from having gotten it fucked. His cock pains me each time I back onto it. I no
longer need to pull over his ass to get Big Horn to stab me. His legs shake as
if from fatigue. He is going to spill his loins in me again! My thrills are
denied me because this man's violent use of my body. A painful expression of
his lust being satisfied again.

     I'm feeling small and helpless within Big Horn's tight arms. He seems to
have forgotten about my need for release when he fucks me good and hard. I
hear his rushed breaths against my neck. No kisses. Sweat trickles down my
chest while I endure a second painful rape.

     I'm crying out when Big Horn's cock stiffens in my asshole. It hurts me!
His wild butt surges under my palm. I try stabbing against his big hand but
I'm unable to reach that ending thrilling point where I'll cum.

     The man holds his breath, stabs me savagely a few more times then groans
like an angry bear. I feel his male throbs deep in my butt and know that he's
filling me with love's seed again.

     Our heated bodies slow under the blanket. His arms relax, allowing me to
breathe more easily. I feel his rapid heartbeat against my back and his breaths
cool the sweat from my neck. Where are his kisses for me?

     I ease the tension of my bow-strung body. Sadly, my arrows weren't flown
during our love making. An unusually angry expression had come from Big Horn.
Why is he mad at me? My head feels heavy so I drive my troubling thoughts away.
I'll ask him in the morning.

     Dreams at the edge of my sight are teasing me to go back to sleep. My
inwards breath becomes a yawn. And another one. I feel my dick getting small.
Lust fades in me so I pull my body from Big Horn's in defeat and lay over my
stomach. Sleep is quick to claim me.


     The gentle crackling of a fire awakens me. I stir from under my blanket,
sitting up suddenly that sends it falling down from my shoulders. Oh, my butt
hurts! Yet a smile comes to my lips in sweet remembrance from last night. I
search for my lover in the empty lodge.

     A man enters. Not Big Horn as I was expecting but a Moss-bowl warrior who
peers at me with shy eyes. It's Shakes-like-the-ground. I'm looking past him
for my lover but I don't find him. The lodge door is closed behind the warrior.

     "Where is..." My mouth shuts when memories crash in my head like thunder.
Oh, my monedo is long dead and so is Smiles A Lot! Last night was only a sweet
dream that has fled in morning's light. Tears fill my eyes.

     Shakes-like-the-ground kneels before the fire, his hands reaching out to
draw its warmth. I clutch the folding of my blanket more tightly around me.
I'm feeling very alone. Lost.

     I try hiding my tears from the warrior. My heart aches me and I feel
something wrong in my head, more from feeling my sense of loss but a scary
thing. I think that I'm losing my spirit.

     The warrior's eyes are on me but I avert mine, glancing about his lodge.
It's a squarish shape with the walls formed of tree bark. I see weapons: an
unstrung bow and quiver of arrows hanging from the wall, several spears and a
rawhide shield. The fire reflects off pots of various sizes on the floor. This
is a large lodge to manage without the man's wife or elderly mother to take
care of. Yet it's clean of debris. Uncluttered. Who takes care of it for him?

    "The women are smoking your buffalo meat," whispers Shakes-like-the-ground.
"Are you hungry?"

     I shake my head. I'm feeling bad and not interested in food. The warrior
lowers his arms from the fire, his hands joining over his lap. I sense this
man's uneasiness. My aching butt proves that last night was not all dreaming.

     I lift my eyes to Shakes-like-the-ground. He quickly lowers his, shame is
on his face. He's feeling embarrassed about he did to me. I'm left feeling
awkward about last night but not angry towards this warrior. He had rescued me
from the plains, kept me safe from evil and he is a man that shares my spirit.
Nothing was taken from me that I wouldn't have offered him. He needs to know.

     "You are a good man, Shakes-like-the-ground. I needed your protection
last night..." The warrior is startled by my compliment. His dark eyes bore
into me to read my face so I give him a smile. He's still confused. "I had
slept well in your arms," I explain. "You scared away my bad dreams and for
that, I am thankful."

     "Hmm. Are you feeling better this morning?" asks the warrior for not
having anything better to say.

     I slowly nod my head. "My troubles have been left behind." Sadness returns
to me when recalling the bad things that I've run from: the death of my lover,
the wrath of Iron Bow for having attacked him (though he deserved it!) and the
dangers my tribe faces from an evil Trickster and the coming war with our
enemies. I've escaped all that by coming to this tribe on the mountain. Guilt
tugs at my heart because I don't feel I deserve this sanctuary.

     "Can you tell me what had brought you to the plains?"

     I lift my eyes to the warrior's then lower them to hide my shame. I've
acted badly. I'm no better than a frightened boy who's scared of the dark and
running with his arms covering his face, crying. How can I share my terrible
burdens with this man? The Evil stalking me and my loss of shaman abilities! I
have found safety with these Mountain People but what about my tribe? My
mother and dear friends that I've left behind are in danger! I can't help
them by remaining here.

     Shakes-like-the-ground looks away. He doesn't press me to answer his
question. A difficult one. My eyes peer into the fire. I hear no whisperings
from the dancing flames and it aches me that I've lost my special powers. I am
no better than a helpless boy.

     "The shaman should be awake by now," whispers Shakes-like-the-ground.

     I nod my head at his suggestion. "Yes. I need to see him and then I'll
speak with your chief." A long silence passes.

     "Willow Bird..."

     I look at Shakes-like-the-ground, my eyes begging him to continue.

     "Ah. You are always welcome to my lodge."

     "I thank you for that." My eyes drop from his for some reason. I'm not
ashamed of what we'd done last night. He had kept me safe in his arms and
giving this man relief inside my body was but a small trade.

     I notice that my body is trembling. Not from the cold but from something
that feels wrong inside my head. It's more than my loss of Smiles A Lot. I am
feeling angry. There's much hatred in me at the Split Tribe and I hate Iron Bow
and Catch-fish-with-arrows for handing him over to them to be killed!

     The fire explodes with a showering of sparks over me. The warrior gasps
with surprise. I fling my blanket to the ground and thump the embers with my
hand so that it won't burn. My nude body is revealed.

     "It must be the green wood," explains Shakes-like-the-ground. He averts
his eyes.

     I look down at myself and frown. There are many ugly bruises and cuts to
my chest, arms, belly and my legs. New injuries on top of my old ones. I sense
the man's stare when I look down at my dick, small and sleepy over my balls.
He had found relief in the rear of my body while my own male needs were denied.
Oh, my butt really hurts! A sniff reveals that I could use a bath.

     "You can clean up in Spirit Lake before seeing the shaman."

     I nod at the warrior's suggestion. "Yes. It was a very long climb up your
mountain. My legs are still hurting!"

     Shakes-like-the-ground nods his head with compassion. "I am sorry for
pressing you so hard, Willow Bird. Your heart was in much pain so I thought..."

     "I understand." With a weary sigh, I fetch the Wah-ha cloth from the dirt.
Its folded length is wrapped around my waist and I tie a knot over my groin.
The end of the soft cloth drops down in front. Not much in the way of covering
my dick and I'm left with a bared butt.

     "While you bathe, I'll try finding you breechclout flaps to wear."

     I nod my head. Without looking at the man, I slowly get to my feet and
make a wobbly exit from his lodge. My legs are feeling very stiff. Outside, it
is cold! Fog hangs in the air that prevents Father Sun's warmth from reaching
me. I wrap my arms around my chest to try warding off the chill.

     No one is about on this cold morning. I'm surrounded by many lodges that
have painted glyphs over their closed doors. After getting my bearings, I head
in a direction that I hope will take me to Spirit Lake. A stone path going up
as I recall.

     My teeth chatter. I clench them and walk faster past the tree barked
lodges. Smoke rises from each of them. Strange trees come into sight. They
look like tall shaggy bushes with finger-sized green bristles. No flat hand-
sized leaves as I expect a proper tree to bear. The stone path is found just
beyond that will lead me up to the lake.

     I race up two stones at a time. It becomes a steep climb, cold against my
feet with moss covering the hand-placed stones on both sides of the stairs
but not in the middle. Up and up they go. My breaths race through my mouth
before the steps finally come to an end.

     I break from the trees to a wondrous sight: a small shining lake. I've
been here before but its beauty is still awe inspiring. Its waters are
contained by giant stone teeth that rise on its far side. I'm standing in this
mountain's mouth.

     The Wah-ha cloth is pulled from my waist. I streak past this tribe's
medicine pole stuck in the bank and with only a moment's reluctance, enter the
lake. Oh, it is very cold! I drop to my knees and quickly splash water over
myself. I'm used to bathing in the river back home. These waters aren't muddy
though. I swallow a few mouthfuls to satisfy my thirst.

     A sweet memory returns to me. Big Horn and I had bathed together in this
lake and made love. Afterwards, I revealed to him that it was these People's
custom for newly wedded couples to perform their first mating on the shore to
help ensure that children would come to them.

     Sadness fills me. Mahyee-na bound men can't bring forth new life. We had
mated in the joy of trying. I'm not ashamed of what I am but it is a difference
that the People find hard to accept. Big Horn is gone. He won't live on through
me if I'd been a squaw bearing his children. I hang my head with despair.

     The men of my tribe couldn't accept my relationship with Smiles A Lot. In
spite of tending to our ailing shaman that proved he was a good person, Iron
Bow and Catch-fish-with-arrows stole him from me and let the Split Tribe murder
him as an enemy scout. How I hate them! Why do I try helping my tribe when
they betray me?

     My hands angrily slap the water. Again and again! The splashes chill my
body that helps lift me from the terrible sadness weighing my spirit. I can't
escape it. There's also great anger in me and my loss of balance. My life
doesn't feel right! Everyone that I've loved has either died or been denied
me. I try doing good for my tribe but I'm repaid with betrayal. The men look
down on me. How can I ever become shaman and the spiritual leader of my tribe?

     When my frustration and anger have been spent, I lower my arms to the
water. I'm mesmerized by the chaotic ripples in the lake that settle down to
soothing water rings around me. I begin to cry. An almost wolf-like howl comes
from deep in my throat that shames me because of my show of weakness. I'm
feeling very lost. Does no one understand what I am feeling?

     The pain from my butt puts an end to my tears. I push to empty my bowels.
What Shakes-like-the-ground had given me last night escapes into the lake,
relieving my aching butt though I still have good feelings for that man. He is
strong. He kept me safe last night and I know that we've become more than
friends. I'll gladly let him take my body when he's in need. Not my heart. Mine
has been broken so many times that I doubt love will ever take hold in me
again!

     Anger at that sense of loss sends me sprinting towards the far side of
this lake. I kick up fierce splashes with my legs. My hands pull me quickly
through the water as if I'm trying to escape from something. A roaring fills
my ears. When I near the rising peaks, I discover a waterfall. I'm having to
back tred to prevent the current from sweeping me over it.

     For a terrible moment I consider death. Why not put an end to my pain and
doubts? Yet my limbs thrash against the current, legs kicking and my hands
pull me through the water towards safety. I reach the bank. Wearily, I get to
my feet and step out of the chilly water.

     My eyes fall on a naked boy. He's standing next to the medicine pole that
holds his white breechclout and a feathered cap. Two empty water skins lie at
this youth's feet.

     "I watched you swimming close to... water... fall," stammers the boy.

     I recognize him. This is Slow Turtle, a boy of ten who had watched my
loving embrace with Big Horn earlier this summer. He has difficulty with
saying words.

     "You look cold!"

     I notice that my teeth are chattering. Goose bumps cover my skin and I'm
shivering. Slow Turtle steps up to press his right palm against my belly. His
touch is warm but the sly grin in his eyes sends chills through me.

     The boy's fingers fall to my groin hair. He playfully pulls out a tangle
while his shining eyes peer up at me. I notice his smooth groin. Lifting
against it is this boy's forming erection. I suspect that Slow Turtle wants
to do something with me.

     My eyes drop to my dick. It remains small and shriveled from my swim in
the lake. The boy tries coaxing its growth by pulling back my foreskin. My
brown knob pops out. Slow Turtle giggles.

     "Yours is smaller than... mine! 'Cause of the cold."

     My body may be cold but this youth has started a fire in me. I eye all
his naked parts: a finger-length pole standing along his groin with its rosy
knob popped out. I lean over the boy to look down at his little butt. His pale
half moons draw my left hand to them. I release a trembling breath from
fondling their soft warmth. I'm tempted to turn this boy around to fuck him.

     Slow Turtle giggles. He peers up at me with curious eyes, perhaps
wondering why I'm interested in the rear part of his body. I lift my hands to
grip the boy's slim shoulders. Our eyes meet. The boy becomes shy, his eyes
dropping down to my dick that's lifting from my balls in sexual excitement. My
male growth dwarfs his. He presses himself against me so they can rub together.

     I feel Slow Turtle trembling. He pants to my chest so I cradle his small
form in my arms that snake around his back in a tight embrace. I gasp with
excitement when my dick stabs against his stiff boy pole. Pleasure fills me at
their meeting. I'm surrendering to lust that feels dark and frightening in its
power over me. I look down at his butt again, watching their cute humping when
the boy tries matching my savage stabs with his own. I want to do more than
simply belly rub. This youth should be turned around, my cock stuck up his butt
in a glorious fuck as my ass had been taken by that warrior last night. I am
in great need!

     My left hand slips down Slow Turtle's back and fondles his soft butt
again. A finger slips between his cheeks. I rub over his hole. My whole body is
tense with excitement from what I'm planning to do to this little boy. If he
resists, my greater strength would prevail! I'll squirt my tremendous lust
into his butt while my hands strangle him. No one would know. The boy's broken
body might not even be found after his plunge over the waterfalls...

     No! My hands release Slow Turtle and I step back with dread. How can
these be my thoughts - to rape and murder an innocent?! The boy gives me a
puzzled look. He doesn't realize the danger he's in by inciting my terrible
lust. My eyes fall in shame to my feet. The boy lowers his hand to himself,
pulling over his erection with a grin.

     "I've been practicing," whispers the youth. He continues to masturbate
but the smile on his lips slowly fades.

     I struggle to keep my eyes averted from the boy's nakedness. I'm scared
by my ugly thoughts that I know come from the evil tainting my spirit. My feet
are as rooted to the ground. I can't run away nor will I allow myself to touch
this boy. Even when he cries out a few times from being thrilled by his act.
So long as I deny lust, this boy will be safe from me.

     Slow Turtle eyes my hard dick. When he reaches for it, I turn my body
sideways to prevent his handling. My eyes warily look around to see if we're
being watched.

     "What's wrong?" the boy pleads. He glances past Willow Bird at the stone
stairs. "Is... Big Horn coming?"

     Pain stabs my heart. I close my eyes for a moment when tears sting my
eyes. Hearing the boy ask that reminds me of losing Smiles A Lot. I've already
cried myself out for my monedo but not enough for that young shaman.

     His small feet kick at the dirt between us. I lift my eyes to Slow Turtle
standing before me and remember his question. My mouth opens. "He is dead."

     "Oh. I am... sorry, Willow Bird!"

     I drop my right hand over the boy's shoulder. "You couldn't have known."
My hand returns to my side. Slow Turtle lets his hard pole go. The sad look on
his face only adding to the woe in my heart.

     "I have to go." My Wah-ha cloth is found by the medicine pole and it is
quickly tied around my waist. The boy picks up his water skins to fill in the
lake. He gives me a longing-filled glance before I race away.

     My feet fly down the stone stairway. At the bottom, I return to the
lodges with a racing heart. An old squaw with a young girl are startled by me.
Both avert their eyes. I'm about to run off when an urgent plea comes out of
my mouth. "Where can I find the lodge of Deep-roots-that-whisper?"

     The old woman clucks with distain. "That way."

     I start heading in the direction of her outstretching hand. The girl
giggles at my hasty retreat. I search the glyphs of all the lodges that I'm
passing for the shaman's. A feathered warrior gives me a morning's greeting.
It's returned with the lifting of my right hand but I don't linger to talk
with him. I'm in urgent need of the shaman's help!

     My body trembles from the cold. I'm barely covered by the Wah-ha cloth
hanging down my loins. Nothing for my butt. That's probably why that young
girl had giggled at me. I notice the stares given me by everyone during my
search of the shaman's lodge. More than my near-nakedness, they know that I'm
not from their tribe.

     After passing another handful of lodges, I come before one that is
larger than the others. This is where Big Horn had taken me to visit with
Deep-roots-that-whisper. I shout out my name upon the doorway. Perhaps more
loudly than I should have but the trembling in my voice echoes what I'm
feeling inside. It seems to take the shaman a long time before his cracked
voice bids me to enter.

     I slip past the door's heavy hide in a rush, tripping over the ground
and falling to it with a thud. A boy is heard giggling at me. When I rise from
the dirt, shaman Deep-roots-that-whisper lifts his right hand to me in greeting
from his ground mat. He is covered only in breechclout flaps. I avert my eyes.
I'm feeling foolish by my clumsy entrance.

     There's a youth crouched behind the old man with part of a blanket
covering his lower body and right shoulder. His eyes widen with recognition
for me. Sah-omb is as I remember him: a boy of twelve with a roundish face and
a flat nose. His aren't the features of those I've seen from this tribe. The
shaman had traded for this youth from one of the mountain clans to act as his
servant. He doesn't speak our tongue.

     With an excited yelp, Sah-omb rushes to me and gives me a tight hug. I
bury my face in his hair, breathing the boy in. He is crouched over me, his
little butt sticking out that draws my attention. There's something hard
sticking into my chest that I'm able to see when the youth pulls away. He
bears an erection that has me glancing at the shaman with much suspicion.

     Sah-omb helps me stand up with his small hands around my waist. A smiling
face peers up at me; I notice a healed cut over his chin. I smile back. It's
good to feel welcomed by this youth. He remembers me as I was. Before evil...

     "Ah, yes. Good to see you, Willow Bird. I didn't know that you were
visiting our tribe." The old man's eyes narrow when seeing his guest's wounds.

     I look down at myself and frown. Yes. My body has suffered much since
last we met. Does he also see the woe in my heart? I'm startled when the boy's
fingers rub over the seared wounds of my legs. His face is no longer smiling.
I endure his long gaze over my injured body, the old wounds crossed over by
my more recent cuts and bruises to my chest, arms and face. My body has
hardened into manhood.

     My eyes return to the boy's groin. I'm tempted to handle his erection and
suck on it but a scary dark feeling keeps my hands at my side. Sah-omb turns
to face the shaman. He speaks a few strange words in his high-pitched voice.
The old man nods in response. I look down at the boy's little butt. He has
nicely rounded cheeks, pale from being hidden from the sun that reminds me of
Slow Turtle's.

     Sah-omb backs into me, sending my arms flying around his slim form for
support. I feel his hands gripping mine. The boy's warmth presses against my
chest. I have to close my eyes when intense feelings arise in me; not from my
heart. I'm getting excited by holding this naked youth in my arms.

     "Let the boy warm you, Willow Bird."

     I glare at the shaman when gleaning the meaning to his words. This youth
was likely keeping the old man warm before my hasty entrance. Sah-omb begins
rubbing his butt against me. He keeps his tight hold of my hands over his
chest that prevents my escape. Nor do I want to go. My cock quickly stiffens
behind the boy and begs me to stick in him as I've done before. A struggle
ensues within me. I want him but fear the evil in me that will hurt this boy.

     There's a small hand pulling my Wah-ha cloth from my waist. I open my
eyes and watch it being tossed to the dirt at our feet. Sah-omb releases a
little sigh. He continues to rub his butt against my hard dick, coaxing my
manly lust to take him. I try resisting that strong urge.

     My feet are rooted to the ground. The boy has my hands trapped in his
hands over his chest. My eyes fall to his enticing humping against my cock.
His pale cheeks have swallowed most of my hard shaft. My oozing knob sticks
up against the boy's lower back, falling into his butt for a moment before
slipping back out. If Sah-omb were to get on tip toes...

     I glance at Deep-roots-that-whisper. He is smiling knowingly at me, the
blanket covering his body from my eyes. Is the old man pulling over himself
while he watches us? I become angry at myself for such a bad thought. It is
true that the shaman often drinks from this boy's fountain of youth. He's told
me that his loins have dried up so by performing the rite with Sah-omb, his
old bones will remain on the earth for a while longer by imbibing the boy's
medicine. I think that's what they were doing before I had entered the lodge.

     Deep-roots-that-whisper nods his head and grins. I have to lower my eyes
from his with shame. He doesn't know that I've become a bad person. There's
evil in me that I am unable to control. Sah-omb could get hurt!

     With a trembling breath, I keep my hold of this youth's chest. Thrills
build up in my loins. There's no doubt in me that Sah-omb wants me to fuck him.
He had let me during my last visit with the Moss-bowl Tribe when I came with
Big Horn. That seems like such a long time ago.

     I slowly surrender myself to the moment. Sah-omb is a nice boy, quick to
offer himself to needing men. The shaman has told me that there are those in
this tribe who often find relief in this youth. That's expected of a servant.
What makes this boy special is that he likes it.

     Utter lust controls me now. Forgotten are my concerns for this youth by
my desire to take his body for my pleasure. He lets me have him. I'm really
need to fuck his little butt!

     My hands are released. I'm dropping to my knees behind Sah-omb so that I
can kiss his soft behind. Warm against my hungry mouth! Small bites are given
to his pale cheeks that squirm beneath my lips. I breathe in the lime smell of
his skin. The boy bends over when I tongue through his cheeks to lick his hole.
Its bitter flavor enflames me to put spit in him that will aid  my dick's
penetration. His ringed muscles tighten. I push deeper into his butt, only
pulling back for a moment to take breaths. Sah-omb reaches hands back to pull
his cheeks wide open. I peer in.

     The boy's little hole glistens with my spit. A thrilling surge goes
through my cock in the sweet expectation of sticking inside. I bury my face
in his butt again, licking into his tightness and sniffing the boy's musky
odor that enflames me with such lust! My throbbing cock can't wait any longer.

     I grip Sah-omb's hips and lower him into my lap. The boy's little hand is
around my cock, directing its upwards seeking stab to join our bodies. My
swollen knob pushes against some resistance before slipping into the boy's
tight hole. Sah-omb spreads his legs some more. His hands grip my thighs when
lowering himself fully onto my groin. My dark hairs crunch against the youth's
pale cheeks, a wonderfully intense sensation races through my dick when it
becomes buried in tender boy flesh.

     I lift my hands to Sah-omb's slim shoulders. His back is arched against
my chest. Below, our male bodies are fully connected for mating. I make a small
stab. The boy gasps in pain. I'm given sharp thrills from fucking him.

     A few more lusty stabs are given the boy. I hear his sharp cry but ignore
it for the intense thrills his butt is giving me. When Sah-omb's hands push
against my thighs, I reach higher with my hands to prevent his escape. My
heart pains me. Why am I not being gentle with my love making?!

     My cock thrusts the boy as if he were my prey that I'm spearing. My hands
tighten around his neck. Sah-omb gasps for breath. My angry cock plows his
butt, quick in and out stabs that enjoys this boy's slimy tightness. I'm
conquering his immature male body!

     More outcries. My fingers press down on the boy's throat to quiet him. I
only want to hear the squishy sounds my cock is making through his asshole. He
is shaking like a scared rabbit, desperately trying to be freed of my capture.
There's a terrible darkness raging in my spirit to do this boy savagely before
I kill him.

     Our mismatched bodies collide in sexual struggle. I fuck the boy good
and hard with his butt bouncing in my lap that sends intense thrills through
my cock. A dark power sings in me. I hear whispered words of encouragement to
conquer this youth before tossing him away like a gnawed bone.

     My prey manages to leap to his knees with my cock slipping out of him. I
follow the boy's forward escape, pushing him to the dirt and sticking back
into his squirming butt. My hands pin his struggling hands to the ground while
I fuck him. He wails in pain. My eyes shut tight in denial of what I'm doing.
My breaths are held to deepen the intense thrills going through my cock.

     "Willow Bird!" shouts the old man.

     I hear the shaman's anger and struggle against my darker self. My cock
stabs the boys a few more times, nearing its sweet climax but I pull out. My
lust is shot to the dirt. Sah-omb rolls onto his back. His arms and legs pull
towards his body into a ball and he is whimpering.

     I'm unable to look at the shaman's face. My eyes fall to the ground where
I've spent myself. It shames me. I angrily kick dirt there to hide what I've
done. My frail attempt to deny having hurt Sah-omb. Sobs come from me. I wrap
my arms around myself, head bowed and cry hard.

     "I don't know what I'm doing!" I explain between sobs. "Oh, Big Horn is
dead and so is Smiles A Lot. My tribe has driven me away because of the Evil
that is possessing my spirit. I am a bad person!" A hand is felt over my
right shoulder. The shaman's. I fling it away warning him, "Get away from me!"

     Utter despair takes me down. I'm lost. Lost! I am the cause of pain and
am being made to suffer for it. I'm a wretched, evil person. I hate myself! My
pounding head seeks sleep, to escape. Darkness comes for me and I embrace it.


     My lungs pain me because I've nearly run out of air. I kick off the muddy
bottom. Upwards I go for the surface of Spirit Lake towards the Light and life.
A bony hand grabs my ankle! I kick back, my frantic attempt to free myself but
his hold on me is strong. The cold water sucks at my strength. I release my
held breath and watch it rise as giggling bubbles while I'm held near the
bottom. I strain for the shining surface but it is beyond my reach, making me
realize with dread that I am going to drown. My sight fades.

     My heartbeat grows loud in my ears. A quick beat that sounds like angry
drumming, getting louder and louder until I feel that my chest will burst. My
body is shaken like a frail leaf in a storm. I hear the wind screeching. No.
It is a voice. I can't make out the words but I've Heard that voice before and
I know that it comes from utter Evil!

     'You will be mine!'

     'No!' I'm harkened by the drumming. It calls out to me like a signal fire,
giving me the strength to fight against my captor so that I can reach the
Light. I want to live!

     'Yes! Many lives depend on yours, Willow Bird.'

     That familiar boy's voice. He is the spirit of the ring who dwells in my
body to guide my spirit's path. I've yet to take back what the Trickster stole
so that he may return to his silvery vessel and have all his powers restored.

     'Struggle towards the Light, Willow Bird and our Father will fill you
with His love and warmth.'

     Hope comes to me. I thought myself to be a terrible person, twisted by
evil and beyond saving but his voice urges me to try. Another spirit is Felt
in me. Voiceless. Yet I recognize the feeling of his love that makes my heart
burst. Oh, Smiles A Lot! I've thought I lost you!

    The drumming rises in pitch. It has become a rattle's violent shaking above
me so I kick my legs and swim for the surface. Towards the Light and life.


     My body feels hot. I slowly open my eyes to blinding light and have to
shut them. There's someone chanting near me. Sweat trickles down the sides of
my body. I feel the gritty earth against my back. Pain returns to me with the
memory of what I've done. The terrible thing I have become! Why does the shaman
even bother to save me?

     Tears fill my eyes and are blinked away. I hear the fire crackling, a
hungry roar that's burning me up with its fury. I'm struck! I keep my eyes
closed until another strike comes to my chest. The chanting grows louder.
Strange words are shouted over me so I open my eyes to see if the shaman is
angry with me. His form swims before my eyes. I wipe them dry with my arm.

     "Wah-man-gar-in-ga eeja Ko pee-na," the shaman warns. "Wah-man-gar-in-ga!
Toe-op plah-ne Ko pee-na, Oh gar-in-ga!"

     I hear rattling. An angry sound above my face that travels down my chest
joined by the old man's chanting that rises to fever pitch when he reaches my
loins. I feel my dick being pounded by his rattle.

     "Toe-op. Eiii plah-ne Ko pee-na Willow Bird! Oh gar-in-ga. Gar-in-ga!"

     The shaman's voice trails off to a whisper. His rattling has stopped. I
take in a deep breath of relief, smelling the soothing odor of burnt sage. The
old man's fingers pull at my dick. I have to open my eyes to see what he's
doing to me. The shaman's has his left hand cupped. There's a terrible
expression on his face that is frightening to behold. Anger! His strength of
purpose towards some aim.

    My eyes have cleared enough to see that the shaman is wearing a magnificent
elk robe. Many eagle feathers are tied to its long arms. Firelight glints off
sea shells sewn in patterns over the garment. Painted designs run throughout.

     The shaman's cupped hand shakes. He covers his right hand over his left
to keep what he's holding from escaping. Deep-roots-that-whisper turns to the
fire. His outstretching hands lower to a clay pot set over the embers and they
open.

     Something is dropped into the clay pot. With a weary sigh, the old man
lowers his head to his chest. I try getting up but the effort is draining. I'm
feeling very weak. The shaman rushes to my side.

     "I didn't mean to hurt Sah-omb!" I plead. Tears sting my eyes.

     "Shh. I know, Willow Bird. The Evil has been exorcised from you so rest."

     I'm given a mug to drink from. Not water; it is something sweet that tries
hiding a bitter flavor. I swallow the entire contents down. The shaman gently
pushes on my chest to get me lying down. A yawn escapes me. The last thing
that I remember is seeing the old man's smile for me.


     I awaken feeling cold. Especially my feet. When I try sitting up, hunger
pangs fill my stomach. It is dark in the lodge. The fire is only embers.

     A familiar pain comes from my dick so I get to my feet and look for a way
out of the lodge. The heavy door hide presses against my face when I step
outside to relieve myself. Oh, it is cold! I wrap my arms around myself. A few
steps are taken before I find an appropriate place to piss. There's nothing
covering me down there, I notice.

     The tiny hairs at the back of my neck rise in warning. Sensing that
someone is near, I drop a hand down over my loins and turn. There's no one
there. I hear my teeth chattering so I rush back to the shaman's lodge. It's
difficult to find which one is his in the dark.

     A shimmering images comes before me. A young man. I gasp with surprise,
blinking my eyes with disbelief when I see that it's Smiles A Lot!

     "How can you be here?" I plead. Oh, Evil is tempting me again by
releasing my lost love from the Underworld. I lift my face upwards and pray.
"Wah-Conda! Save me from this taunting!"

     I lower my eyes. Smiles A Lot is still standing before me in a kind of
faint moon's glow. I'm afraid to reach out and touch him because I know that
he's not of flesh, likely to disappear if I embrace him.

     Hope tugs at my heart anyway. I can't tear my eyes from him. Smiles A Lot
lifts his hands and presses them against his chest. He smiles warmly at me. I
think he speaks but no words are heard in my ears nor do I hear them in my
head. I sense something from him though. That feeling he gives me when I'm with
him, to see his warm smile filled with understanding for our shared spirits
and I know that he deeply loves me.

     Smiles A Lot points at me before his palms press over his chest again. I
don't understand his gesture. My lover nods. He begins to fade like morning
fog when Father Sun rises towards noon. I rush to embrace him. There is only
air as I was expecting but a ghostly whisper fills my head.

     'I am with you, love...'

     I'm falling to my knees in anguish. My hands press over the dirt to find
any trace that he was really here. There's only cold ground. I feel like crying
but the hope that his words are true stops me. I'm left feeling some sense of
my lover, that he is not really dead.

     I realize that he's not in the Underworld. The Darkness-that-comes had
tried to trick me before by bringing forth what appeared to be my lost lover.
He used a false image and spoke clever words using my lover's voice to tempt
me into his service as a Trickster. But what I've just Seen... What I Felt is
truly my lover's spirit. He is inside me.

     A haunting tingle races down my spine and into my legs. Hope burns inside
me. I now understand Smiles A Lot's gesture of his hands over his chest. What
he had whispered to me! I clutch the small pouch hanging down from my neck.

     A chilling wind blows past me. I am returned to the Now and feel my body
trembling from the cold. Lodges of the Moss-bowl tribe surround me like dark
boulders so I stagger towards one. My legs are stiff and make it difficult for
me to walk. I fall down. I'm on all fours crawling towards the door. My throat
is too dry to call for help so I pull myself through, into darkness. I'm drawn
to the dull glow of embers centering this lodge.

     Warmth is felt against my arms. I curl around the fire pit and close my
weary eyes. Sleep is quick to come for me.


     Something smells good. I pop my eyes open and see Deep-roots-that-whisper
bending over me with a filled wooden bowl. He helps me sit up. My hands are
shaking when he offers me the bowl of soup which I greedily gulp down, burning
my tongue. It has a strange taste. Not deer or buffalo meat yet it satisfies
my hunger. I feel the old man's eyes on me but I can't look at him because I'm
feeling very ashamed.

     "Shakes-like-the-ground came this morning," says the shaman. "He brought
you some breechclout flaps to wear and to see how you were doing."

     I only nod at his words. Likely, that warrior has told his shaman
everything about me. How he found me wandering the plains, my injuries and
about my strange behavior.

     "You've endured a terrible trial, Willow Bird."

     I lift my eyes to the old man's. He gently nods at me with a grim face.
Does he really know what I've suffered through by the Darkness-that-comes?

     "You will be a great shaman."

     I drop my eyes in shame. "No. Our Father has forsaken me, shaman. I've
lost the use of His gifts and have been subverted by Evil. I hurt... Sah-omb."

     "The Nameless One's hold over your spirit has been cast out!" The old man
points towards the fire, at a clay pot.

     I remember seeing Deep-roots-that-whisper dropping something into it. My
own shaman had conducted a similar ritual for Song Bird when he exorcised
Wa-sa-ba's raging spirit from the boy before applying a medicine bandage to
the bear's deep claw cuts over his butt.

     "I have freed your spirit, Willow Bird. Yours is strong and explains how
you were able to resist evil for as long as you did. Shakes-like-the-ground
has told me so. And I suspect what your trials were. Men who walks in the
Light are sought out by Evil to try casting them Down. Especially those who
are Mahyee-na." A sad look comes into the old man's eyes.

     His words sound true. Anger fills me when remembering what Iron Bow and
Catch-fish-with-arrows had done. "Men of my tribe are also evil!" I shout.
"Smiles A Lot was terribly murdered in return for his kindness. He had tended
to our shaman who would have died of his wounds. He called my wandering spirit
down from the Above and was to teach me how to use my gifts from our Father.
And I loved him!" Tears fill my eyes. My voice becomes too hoarse from emotion
to speak further.

     I see compassion in the old man's eyes. He lowers his head with grief,
gripping my shoulder like a father who tries comforting his troubled son.

     "You survived your ordeal, Willow Bird where others have faltered."

     I peer up at the shaman. "What do you mean?"

     "Haven't you wondered why there's no apprentice at my side to carry on
the customs of my People after I am gone? It's the same with your shaman and
the Split Tribe's shaman. And I suspect that other tribes have old men for
shamans with no one following in their footsteps."

     I'm struck by his words. My shaman is old and I am to be the next shaman
of my tribe though I've begun my training in my teens. Usually, a boy is
chosen at a young age by the shaman since there are many things the youth
needs to learn. Smiles A Lot was taught by shaman Snarling Bear but both of
them are dead.

     "The Nameless One had caused this," whispers the old man. He makes an
angry gesture with his fingers to ward off evil.

     "You had an apprentice?" I ask.

     Deep-roots-that-whisper nods his head. His earlier anger is replaced by
grief. "He was murdered by a Trickster three summers ago."

     I only nod in reply, hoping that the old man will tell me more.

     "You remind me of him, Willow Bird. Like you, he was Mahyee-na and had a
carefree spirit that hid the strong medicine that he possessed. Yet he is gone.
Warriors from my tribe found his broken body where he was fasting on the cliffs
before his initiation as a shaman."

     "How do you know that a Trickster..." The shaman shuts his eyes in pain
when hearing my words.

     "This mountain told me so! I can sometimes hear His rumblings and they
were loud and very angry after my apprentice's body was returned to the tribe."

     I sense that something more than death had been suffered by that youth.
I've been taken by a Trickster and raped by him that more than violated my
body but also my spirit. Big Horn had rescued me. He helped me regain myself
after that terrible ordeal. I decide to share that with him.

     "Yes. Your spirit was strong and love from your monedo helped regain your
weakened spirit, Willow Bird. The other youths were not so fortunate. I've
lost my apprentice and so have shamans from the other tribes."

     "Why not train Sah-omb?" I ask.

     Deep-roots-that-whisper shakes his head. "I'm very fond of that boy but
he is only my servant. Becoming shaman is not his path in life and my People
would not accept him as their spiritual leader even if I could train him. He
also doesn't have the power."

     "Smiles A Lot was being trained by Snarling Bear to be the next shaman of
the Spear-bearing Warriors but they are both dead. That warrior/shaman was
also training a youth named Little Wolf Eyes but he turned to evil, becoming a
Trickster who attacked our shaman. He raped boys in our tribe and done murder!
My tribe is in great danger from him."

     I notice the shaman's harsh expression, his eyes piercing into me to
explain what I've said. It had been bold for me to speak the names of the
dead out loud.

     "Tell me everything that has happened," the shaman asks.

     After swallowing past the hard lump in my throat, I begin my tale at the
beginning: how a Trickster caught me in the woods during a hunt and raped me.
I would have been killed if not for Big Horn's rescue. He slew him. Yet the
Trickster's avenging spirit drove my monedo to madness and death. I was at the
Wanderer's Cliffs to seek my animal helper. After my four day ordeal, I came
down and found that my guardian, Tree Snake was murdered by enemy warriors. I
tell the shaman how I was captured by the Shew-owa where I met my brother,
Second Bird and how we escaped. On and on I rant. The shaman doesn't say a
word but simply listens to me.

     I tell him about finding a boy named Running Wolf in the plains. A grass
fire consumed his grandmother. That's why my hair had been burned. Second Bird
and I were trying to find the boy's tribe when Split Tribesmen flew on us with
rage. They didn't realize who we were and my brother was injured. That lost
boy was Stands Tall's son who was glad to have him back. Yet Running Wolf's
spirit was fragile (after his mother's death from a second childbirth) and it
was through my love that I slowly brought him out.

     When accompanying a Split Tribe warrior to cut meat from a fallen buffalo
(from that same grass fire), we were attacked by wolves. He died and if not
for Snarling Bear's medicine, I'd be dead. He had come from the Spear-bearing
Tribe with his mother on a visit to my tribe because his sister was married to
my chief. The band of Split Tribe warriors regarded them as enemies but I
assured Stands Tall, the war leader of the Split Tribe that Snarling Bear was
a man of peace and that his visit had been expected. Traveling with Snarling
Bear were two boys; his chief's youngest son and an apprentice named Little
Wolf Eyes. No one suspected that that youth had turned away from the path of
becoming shaman but to serve Evil as a Trickster!

     Little Wolf Eyes murdered the Spear-bearing Warrior's Chief's youngest
son in Snarling Bear's party and raped Running Wolf. No one knew that at the
time. I was still hurt from my wolf bites and was carried by my brother back
to my tribe where they had settled across the river from the Split Tribe.

     I pause to catch my breath. Deep-roots-that-whisper nearly has his eyes
closed during my telling but he urges me to go on. I explain how power was
awakened in me by Snarling Bear. That my silver ring had not been a lucky find
in the river but ritually gifted to me by his apprentice, Smiles A Lot. He was
also on his way to my tribe but was several days behind Snarling Bear.

     Bad things began to happen in my tribe. Little Wolf Eyes stole my silver
ring, he attacked our shaman, raped and murdered Fire-singes-his-hair's son
and left the boy's body across the river at the Split Tribe. That incident had
almost started a war between our tribes. Those evil acts initiated Little Wolf
Eyes as a Trickster.

     Snarling Bear tended to our injured shaman and he even traded his life in
the Above for his so that I could be trained as a shaman in my People's ways.
But my shaman's head wound was beyond anyone's ability in the tribe to cure.
That's when Smiles A Lot arrived to help. He was 'captured' by the Split Tribe
who regarded him as an enemy scout. When he spoke my name during three days of
torture, he was brought to me. My spirit had wandered to the utter beauty of
the Above and Smiles A Lot brought me down, back to life. He tended to my
shaman's head wound.

     Smiles A Lot was a shaman's apprentice so he helped me learn how to
control my shaman abilities. He explained many things to me. How the two
halves of Mah Nayee had culminated in me from himself, the grandmother side
during his ring gifting ritual and that the grandfather side of this special
power went from Snarling Bear through Shy Coyote (in his youth) who as a man
named Coyote Thief loved Big Horn who, in turn, loved me. I am to be the next
leader of the Mahyee-na.

     My throat becomes hoarse. Deep-roots-that-whisper offers me a drink from
a wooden mug. He doesn't ask me any questions, only urges me to continue. I do
so. I'm surprised that my words are easily spoken and without emotion. Even
when I speak about Smiles A Lot.

     I manage to smile when describing how we fell in love. Those are good
memories that won't fade after Smiles A Lot's death. I still feel a part of
his life within me and Seeing him last night strengthens my belief that that
is so. My story goes on.

     I describe my efforts at rejoining our two tribes. The joy at seeing
mothers, children and grandparents meeting each other in the river who'd been
long separated after our tribes were split. I talk about using my special gifts
(with Smiles A Lot's help) to Heal people, to Change and to See coming events.
I've acted for the good of my People though they don't respect me.

     My telling of Smiles A Lot's death proves difficult though. Tears run down
my face and my voice breaks up. The shaman keeps his tight grip of my shoulder,
lending me the strength to go on. My voice becomes angry when I speak about
those who betrayed me. It was because of Iron Bow and Catch-fish-with-arrows
that I ran away from my tribe. Pai-alucia carried me along the river paths. I
hid in the forest when pursuit came. It was there, alone and defenseless when
the Darkness-that-comes tried subverting me by his clever and evil ways but I
resisted him. Moss-bowl warriors found me in the plains and took me back to
their mountain.

     My story ends. Talking about what happened, spilling it from my mouth has
emptied my troubled spirit and I feel much better for it. Gone are my feelings
of dread. My head is lighter and I'm feeling like my old self again when I
was a good person. Hearing myself speak about what's been happening, all the
amazing things, good and bad, brings me a measure of pride.

     The shaman stares off in the distance, deep in contemplation of what I've
just told him. I release a long sigh. The crackling fire soothes me in the
silence that passes. I'm waiting for Deep-roots-that-whisper to say something.

     Movement attracts me. I turn towards the lodge door to see Sah-omb
entering with his arms full of firewood. His eyes are on me. A pang of guilt
fills me because of what I've done to him. The boy empties his arms of wood
that disturbs the shaman from his thoughts.

     When I peer at Sah-omb, the boy looks away. Shame fills me. I'm dropping
my eyes to the ground when he returns my stare so I glance back at him. We
both look at each other uneasily. Searching glances since we can't speak words
to each other. Is the boy very angry at me? Scared? I show him how sorry I am
with my eyes.

     "Ah. Grawow toa Sah-omb ant," the shaman asks. "Krost Willow Bird, eh ah?"

     I don't understand what was said but the boy responds by coming to stand
at my side. There's no fear or anger in his eyes as I was expecting. He tugs
on his shirt nervously. A breechclout is worn around the youth's waist with
the front flap covered in wood dust. It's an anxious moment for us both.

     "I had explained to Sah-omb why you acted as you did last night while you
were sleeping," the shaman explains. "He is not mad at you."

     I lift my right hand to the boy to seek his forgiveness. He peers down at
me expectantly then accepts my big hand in his own. I'm surprised by his sudden
hug. All the anguish and grief in my heart pours out. I try blinking away my
tears of relief. Sah-omb is brought down to sit over my thigh. He's smiling. I
bring his soft head to my chest and gently rock him back and forth.

     "I'm sorry, Sah-omb!" I whisper.

     The old man's eyes catch me. I see compassion in them and he is smiling.
A part of my broken heart heals at this moment. I kiss Sah-omb's head and
whisper my silent prayer unto our Father how thankful I am for His blessings.
The boy lifts his face, showing me his own tears.

     "It is good," says the shaman. "Now, I have some questions for you."

     I wipe my arm across my wet face and turn towards Deep-roots-that-whisper.
The old man peers at me for several heartbeats. I'm wondering what he will ask.

     "What do you want, Willow Bird?"

     I'm startled by the shaman's words. "Ah. What do you mean?"

     "You've been cast into situations beyond your control. Struggles that
are difficult even for seasoned warriors but I think you handled yourself well.
What I am asking of you is this. What do you want to do with your life?"

     I stare at the old man for several heartbeats. His face doesn't reveal
any emotion except for the need to have his question answered. My eyes drop to
the ground. I'm thinking over what he is expecting me to say.

     "No. Don't think about it, Willow Bird. Speak from your heart!"

     I squeeze the boy in my arms. Words tumble out of my mouth as a low
whisper. "Happiness. That's all I want."

     The shaman nods. "Hmm. Go clean yourself up in Spirit Lake." He makes a
gesture at the painted medicine designs over his patient's body.

     I slowly get to my feet. Sah-omb turns to the old man when hearing words
that he can understand.

     "Toa Sah-omb ant. Ahp krost Willow Bird neo pist de-tem krea du Yha est
mi-lie samp."

     The boy nods. I'm given words by the shaman as well. "Take Sah-omb with
you to Spirit Lake. He'll show you the way."

     Before I can tell the shaman that I already know how to get there, the
youth springs for the lodge door. I look around for my Wah-ha cloth to wear.

     "Take the breechclout flaps that Shakes-like-the-ground left for you,"
says the shaman. "Purify yourself in Spirit Lake before donning them."

     I'm shown where they lie by the lodge door. Sah-omb grabs them, his eyes
flaring in a gesture for me to go outside. I do so. The boy doesn't join me
right away. I hear the shaman speaking with him.

     A group of boys run past where I'm standing. The oldest youth, perhaps
twelve years in age gives me a long curious stare. I notice my nakedness. His
two younger friends avert their eyes out of respect. I turn towards the lodge
so that they can only view the back of me. They run off, giggling. Yet that
older boy looks back at me before joining his friends.

     Sah-omb comes outside with a rolled mat tucked under his arm. He clutches
the breechclout Shakes-like-the-ground had brought me but I can't don it yet.
Not until I've bathed in the lake. I wrap my arms around myself for protection
from the blowing wind. I envy the youth's warm shirt and breechclout that he's
wearing while I must go about uncovered.

     I'm led past the many lodges of the Moss-bowl Tribe. There's a lot of
activity this late in the morning. Women and young girls are carrying firewood.
Boys race around in frantic game playing. I hardly see any men. When someone
comes into view, I drop my left hand to cover my loins. No one talks to us. I
suppose that they see the ritual significants to my body paint and leave me
alone. Sah-omb often peeks back at me. His smiling eyes are taking note of my
embarrassment in secret delight.

     We climb the stone steps to Spirit Lake. I watch Sah-omb's feet lifting
for each step. It's a mesmerizing rhythm, sending me deep in thought. I'm
considering the shaman's question again. I don't think it was what he was
hoping to hear from me; it had been a selfish answer.

     I catch up with Sah-omb on the shore of Spirit Lake. He points at its
shallows so I slowly wade in. The water chills my legs. I kneel down for my
bath and am surprised when the boy removes his clothes. He slaps the wood dust
from his breechclout before dropping it to the ground. I'm reluctant to stare
at his nakedness, fearing my reaction that could lead me to hurting him again.

     With a grimace on his face, Sah-omb joins me in the water. He comes to my
side and splashes water over my chest, arms and face. Mud is brought up to
clean the ritual paint from my body. I remain kneeled, accepting the boy's
tending. His small hands are gentle over me.

     I lower my face in the water so that Sah-omb can clean my hair. His
fingers begin at my scalp and work their way down my burned lengths. I come
up for a breath of air. The boy's cupped hands rinse away the mud leaving me
refreshed. He quickly tends to himself. I grin when hearing his teeth
chattering from the cold.

     We streak from the lake and stand naked on the shore to dry off. Father
Sun is nearing His height in the sky. It's mostly clear of fog. I spread my
arms to welcome His warm Hand over me. Luckily, there's no wind.

     The injuries to my body attract Sah-omb's attention. He has a sad face
when touching the seared wounds to my legs. I explain them by crying like a
wolf and making bite gestures. It had taken a burning stick to close those
wounds or I would have died from blood loss. The boy nods in understanding. He
points at the scar below my left shoulder. I explain that with my gesture for
a blade that had been stuck in me.

     Sah-omb traces his fingers over my lesser wounds. Cuts to my belly, chest,
arms and my face that had come from my frantic escape from evil. Those will
heal in time. I touch the boy's chin where he bears a recent scar. I'm given a
few words of explanation but the youth stops, shrugging his shoulders when he
realizes that I don't speak his language.

     I circle around the boy. His pale body reveals the faded suntan he once
had when living on the beaches of the great ocean. He'd been stolen away from
his People and traded to Deep-roots-that-whisper by a mountain clan. I wonder
if Sah-omb ever longs to return to them?

     My eyes fall to the boy's wet butt. I feel a pang of lust but I'm able to
resist it. I'm no longer possessed by evil that would have me raping this boy
and killing him. I release a trembling sigh of relief.

     Sah-omb turns his head to look back at me. There's no fear in his eyes.
I give him a grin of assurance and he smiles back. I reach out to his black
hair to straighten its wet length down his neck.

     I find a curious marking above the boy's right shoulder blade. When my
fingers rub over the skin, I don't feel a scar that would explain it. A kind
of tattoo that warriors sometimes receive to honor their feats in battle.
Sah-omb's faded mark is a swirling line that reminds me of a coiled snake.

     "Kroo ah teh la-men-da-ee," explains Sah-omb.

     His words have no meaning. I press my tongue behind my lower teeth and
make the hissing sound of a snake. The boy giggles. He slaps over his butt as
if to explain that his tattoo has something to do with that part of himself.

     Sah-omb shakes the water from his hair. He keeps his back to me, eyes no
longer peeking. I look down at his butt again. What nice soft curves! Is the
boy waiting for me to accept his lusty offering? Though it's difficult, I'm
able to keep my lust under control. He may want that kind of joining with our
bodies but I'm not ready to see if the Evil has been fully purged from my
spirit. My dick really wants him. I listen to my heart and consider other acts
that would be more gentle.

     I circle around to face Sah-omb. He's grown excited with an erection
standing against his groin. A grin forms on his lips. With shy eyes, the boy
slowly encircles me, eyeing all my naked parts. He uses the edge of his hand
to wipe the water from my lower back. I gasp when feeling the boy's hands over
my butt.

     "Meek toa ah teh, Willow Bird?"

     I'm don't understand Sah-omb's words. He sticks his finger between my
cheeks and repeats his question again. I look back at the boy, seeing him
thrust his groin forward suggestingly. A sharp thrill of excitement goes
through me at what I take to be his meaning.

     "Ah, yes. I let men stick in my butt." With my finger pointing down at
Sah-omb's erection, I slap over my cheeks and make a lusty groaning sound.
That gets him giggling.

     "Mee ah," says Sah-omb. He shakes his head at what's being offered him.

     I turn to the boy and laugh. His eyes fall to my hard cock and with the
turning of his back on me, he speaks while slapping over his cheeks.

     "Krost toa ant." The boy makes a hissing sound between his teeth.

     I may not understand Sah-omb's words but it's obvious that he wants me to
fuck him. I step up to the boy and hold him in my arms. His body is warm
against me. My cock presses up against his butt, urging me to stick it in him
but I'm content to simply hold this sweet boy for a sharing of warmth.

     The small hairs at the back of my neck prickle up. I turn towards the
stairway to see if someone has come. Nothing. For a long while, I keep Sah-omb
in my arms and resist his suggestive humping against my dick. He wiggles free
of my embrace. The boy turns to face me with longing in his dark eyes.

     I grip the boy's slim shoulders and peer back into his eyes. Something
unspoken passes between us. My head lowers to plant a kiss on his forehead.
Another is given to his flat nose. Sah-omb releases a trembling breath and he
closes his eyes. I can't bring myself to kissing his lips. This boy is dear
but I'm not ready to try winning his heart. Mine is too broken for love.

     I slowly drop to my knees before the youth. My mouth roams over his
breast, sucking on each of his brown nipples until they harden. That gets
Sah-omb to gasp. I kiss my way down his belly and feel his erection against my
chin. Lower, I gently suck on his small sac of balls. They have a clean lime
smell. The boy clenches his fists when I kiss along his stiff pole. Its knob
is taken into my mouth.

     Sah-omb sighs. My hands wrap around his hips and I begin a slow bobbing
of my head, my nose pressing into his smooth groin. The boy simply stands there
while I suck him. I'm enjoying his erection, stiff and warm as it slides
across my tongue while my lips tighten around his skinny shaft. I feel his
balls against my chin. He is old enough to squirt out though it is the watery
seed of a boy. I wonder if the shaman had managed to drink from him before my
hasty entrance into their lodge yesterday morning?

     Small hands are felt caressing my back. Sah-omb lets me know how good he
is feeling. I slip my hands around for his butt, urging them to hump faster,
forcing his stabs deeper into my mouth. He's not of length to make me gag.
I've sucked on men's cocks before who've spear into my tonsils. Ouch!

     Boy poles are nicer. Not too big or hairy or driven by a fierce lust
that a man has to spill his loins into my mouth. I've sucked on little boys
who were too young to come out but they still enjoyed the intense tickly
feeling that comes from being sucked. I liked the sensation of their stiff
poles slipping between my lips - to teach them about this pleasure. Sah-omb is
very experienced with the act. He paces his stabs, often pausing to prolong
his thrills so that he can enjoy getting sucked for as long as he can before
squirting. It becomes a contest between us.

     I meet the boy's challenge. My mouth clamps down on his erection, sucking
hard over his skinny shaft while my tongue swirls over his knob. Sah-omb gasps
in response. I pull over his butt cheeks with a quicker pace. Stab after stab
is forced into my thirsty mouth that wants a drink from him.

     I feel the boy's dick getting very stiff. His belly trembles when trying
to hold breaths and I know the meaning of that. With a sharp gasp, Sah-omb
squirts. I drink his sweet release and feel him struggling in my arms
afterwards. Oh. The boy is feeling too tickly and intense so I stop sucking on
his spent pole.

     Sah-omb steps back with male relief showing in his eyes. I smack my lips
in remembrance of his sweetness. The boy looks down at my cock. I'm feeling
my own need to be satisfied but I don't want to try fucking him. I'd hurt him
too much that last time.

     I reach my hands up to the boy in a gesture for him to kneel down. He gets
into my lap while facing me on his knees. Sah-omb spreads his legs and slowly
sits over mine. I grip the boy's underarms, helping him to rise up my folded
legs so that we can embrace. Our dicks touch. His is still erected after
coming out and meeting mine enflames me to give this youth a tight loving hug.

     Sah-omb presses his face into my chest. His arms wrap around my lower
back while I keep hold of his wiggly bottom. A slow beat is set with our
bodies. My cock rubs against his pole that feels so good! This is how I want
to make love to a boy. Gently, with pleasure given equally to the both of us.

     I turn my head sideways to rest over Sah-omb's left shoulder. When I kiss
over the boy's neck, he shies away as if it's too ticklish. Our rhythmic beat
continues below. What a wonderful thing to be holding this youth in my arms,
a tight embrace that shows love and much tenderness. It's nothing like my
brutal use of his butt yesterday. That wasn't really me doing that! I'm glad
that the shaman has exorcised evil from my spirit so that I can be a good
person again.

     Lust fills me. Not as a violent burning but a controllable thrilling
sensation when I rub against the boy in my arms. He stabs back with his pole.
I begin to moan and hear his sharp gasps for breath. Will he shoot off again?

     Our slippery bodies are trying to become one. I feel a joining of our
hearts already. He needs my love and, I think, to be shown the path of the
Mahyee-na when he comes of age. That's not for many summers to come. He
already knows how to give his small body to satisfy the needs of men so what I
can teach him are the sacred rites of our society that includes protecting the
People from evil. He needs to be protected in his youth from being corrupted
by a Trickster until then. Deep-roots-that-whisper's warning comes to mind.

     My vile rape by a Trickster enters my head but I quickly cast that memory
away. I don't want to ruin my tender moment with this boy with bad thoughts.
Our embrace is one of love, a feeling that's rejected by the Dark One's
servants. We may both vent our lust with boys but our goals are much different.
I'm not trying to conquer Sah-omb; only to make love to him like a son I've
never had.

     I catch Sah-omb peeking up at me. There's such intensity in his face, his
utter trust in me to be gentle when I lead him towards the climax of our
embrace. Our arms are wrapped around each other. Hands surging over our butts
while our dicks mash together and tingle with nice thrills. I'm in great need
to come out but my passion is kept in check. He's already climaxed so his
embrace with me is to win my love and for my benefit of male release. I smile
back at him. He is a trusting youth who has given me a second chance.

     I begin holding breaths. Sah-omb gives me a sly grin, his eyes peering up
into mine to catch that moment when I'll cum. I'm hoping that he will also
squirt at the end. Our bodies labor towards that exciting moment though
already, we've confirmed our special bond.

     My cock is feeling very good. Sah-omb makes small gasps between his teeth
that proves how good he's feeling. The boy's knees press into my waist. I try
keeping hold of his wiggly butt, pulling over its softness in beat to the male
battle going on between us. It will end soon.

     A twinge of sadness fills me. All good things seem to end before I'm able
to trust in their endurance. I gave my heart to Big Horn who taught me love and
I've passed that on to many boys. Song Bird was the first when we had stood
together in the river a few summers ago. He entered my arms again this summer
and we consummated our love that had come from a long friendship. His father,
our tribal chief learned of it and has forbidden us to touch in love. That had
me turning to Big Horn but he is gone.

     My monedo's teachings were passed on to other sweet boys. An eight-year-
old named Day Rabbit who likes getting sucked. Nothing in my heart for him
though. I embraced Sun Beam and Night's Star from this tribe but like all the
other boys, it was a fleeting experience. My love for Sky Runner from the
Painted Tribe was also but a sweet moment in my life.

     I love Crying Loon very much. He showed an interest in Smiles A Lot that
I'd tried to encourage but with his death, that boy must be feeling as I do -
love doesn't last. Is there hope for us to come back together?

     Sah-omb is straining in my arms. He no longer tries to delay his climax
so I eagerly await its coming. Such an eager pup! He reminds me of Running
Wolf. Both these boys have given of themselves to me with their small bodies
in any way I wanted to make love to them but too, they've given me their
hearts. I'll be leaving Sah-omb to his shaman when I return to my tribe.
Running Wolf is waiting for me across the river at the Split Tribe. He is a
special youth; the next leader of the Mahyee-na after me.

     I'm startled from my thoughts by Sah-omb's high-pitched cry. I feel the
flow from his loins as a warm splash over my belly. The boy's eyes narrow,
fluttering from enjoying his climax. That sends me over the edge. I stab
against his slippery pole and cum.

     "Oh, Sah-omb!" My breath comes out as a low moan of satisfaction. I
continue to release with much pleasure exploding in my head. How I love him!
Having sex with a boy is a wonderful way to express this. It joins my needing
spirit, an aching heart and how my flesh seeks to complete itself with a young
male. Nothing can compare to this!

     We both take urgent breaths. Our arms loosen though our dicks continue to
rub to seek ending thrills. Sah-omb's eyes close for a moment. He turns his
head against my chest to look down at the result of our love. I see where my
sperm has gone to him. The boy's right hand gathers it from his belly and he
brings it up to his mouth, sticky fingers are licked dry. Seeing him doing that
brings me a measure of pride. That he wants my male strength inside him.

     I remember a rite that should be performed. My hand gathers what remains
of my seed and I cover his balls with it. Sah-omb watches my sacred tending
with interest. I speak the ending words: "From a proven man's loins is given
the strength for a boy to grow up. It makes us one."

     Sah-omb curiously lifts his face to what I've spoken. I make the stiff
male sign with my finger then tighten all my fingers into a fist in a gesture
for strength. My eyes flare when I peer down at the boy's immature loins.
Sah-omb nods his head in understanding.

     With a grin on my face, I gather up the boy's clear release from my belly.
Sah-omb grins when I lick it from my fingers with a throaty "Hmm!" of
satisfaction. He starts to giggle. My laughter joins with his in this special
moment that I'll remember for the rest of my life. This is what I want - to be
happy. This little boy has made me so.

     Sah-omb slips down my legs and stands up. I look over his wet body with
weariness overcoming me yet it's a pleasant sensation. We've just made love
together. He's not too young to understand what we've done. Male relief shines
in the boy's eyes and I'm sure that he sees this same thing in mine. I glance
at the stairway with regret. We should be returning to the shaman's lodge.

     Sah-omb cries out in warning. He sees something behind me so I quickly
turn my head towards the woods. There's a boy walking meekly towards us. I
gesture to be given the rolled mat and Sah-omb quickly fetches it which I
unroll over the ground. My body drops over it to hide my hard dick. I scoot
over to allow Sah-omb a place to join me over the mat.

     Once we're settled, I turn my head at the intruder and glare hard. It's
the boy I'd seen earlier outside the shaman's lodge. The one who had stared
at me. He has strange facial features that prove he wasn't born to this tribe.
There are pock marks over his cheeks and forehead. A disease that he's long
recovered from at an earlier age. It gives the boy a rugged appearance.

     He slowly approaches us with his feet dragging over the ground, almost as
if regrets being discovered. How long was he spying on us from the trees? I
hope that he doesn't realize what we've been doing and tattle on me.

     "I didn't mean to be..."

     "Who are you?" I ask in a stern voice. The boy's eyes drop to his feet in
embarrassment. I quickly look him over. He wears a breechclout but it can't
hide the interesting bulge under his front flap. Sah-omb gives me a sly grin
that proves he also sees the boy's excitement.

     "Oh, I'm Mist-in-his-eyes."

     "I am Willow Bird from the Kalinlepi Tribe. This is Sah-omb."

     "I know him. He's our shaman's servant." The boy pauses in thought. "Ah.
What were you doing with him?"

     Fear squeezes my heart but I only have to look at Mist-in-his-eyes' face,
flushed with excitement and the revealing bulge under his front flap to know
that he's more than curious about us so I'll answer him without fear of getting
into trouble.

    "I was performing a 'growing up' rite for Sah-omb." Mist-in-his-eyes shrugs
his shoulders in reply. He loses his shy stance, boldly looking over our bodies
to try gleaning what we were doing together.

     "The sun feels nice," I comment. "Spirit Lake is a good place to suntan."
Mist-in-his-eyes nods. He continues to stare at us with an intense longing
coming into his eyes.

     "Your body is already very dark," the boy mutters. "That's because you
come from a Plains Tribe." Mist-in-his-eyes feels silly after saying that.

     "Yes. Though your mountain tribe is closer to Father Sun, fog often
obscures His face and it is colder here than below." Mist-in-his-eyes smiles.
His attention is focused on me; eyes avoiding mine though they often wander to
my butt. I get the feeling that he knows how to fuck one. An exciting tremor
goes through me to test my suspicion.

     "Ah. Come join us on our mat," I ask.

     Mist-in-his-eyes laughs. "There's no room!"

     "You can sit over me. The sun is very warm so discard your breechclout
and come join us. I'll tell you more about that rite..." I lower my face to
the mat and close my eyes. I feel the side of Sah-omb's body against me,
trembling slightly. I hold him in the crook of my left arm.

     It's an awkward moment. I don't know if Mist-in-his-eyes will take me up
on my offer or run away. I don't dare look at him. The sun does feel good over
my back and that helps relax me. I'm still enjoying the afterglow of having
sex with Sah-omb.

     There's a scuffling sound followed by footsteps in the dirt that circle
around to my right side. I hear the boy's sharp inwards breath above me.
Sah-omb squirms in my arm. I keep my face pressed into the mat with my eyes
closed to give the appearance that I am relaxing. I'm feeling very anxious
inside though. Will the boy come join us?

     I feel the boy's foot against my right leg that's followed by his knee.
Sah-omb moves slightly to allow the boy's left knee a place over the mat
between us. I wonder if Mist-in-his-eyes has bared himself? That question is
answered when I feel his soft warmth pressing down on my butt. I turn my head
to look at the youth. He's sitting over me, hands pressed over my back to
support himself. I release a moan of satisfaction.

     "That feels good. Can you massage my back?" I feel the boy's hands
starting to move over my shoulder blades. I release another low moan.

     "You were going to tell me about that rite you performed..."

     "Ah, yes. Hasn't your father or an uncle done that for you?" I ask.

     "No. But I've seen men having sex in the woods!"

     I ignore what the boy has said for the moment. "What I was doing with
Sah-omb was a rite to help pass my strength into his loins so that he can
grow up."

     "Is that why you covered his balls with your sperm?"

     Mist-in-his-eyes has stopped massaging me so I shrug my shoulders a few
times in a gesture for him to continue. The boy's hands move lower down my
back. I moan to let him know how good it feels.

     "Do you like doing things with men?" asks Mist-in-his-eyes carefully.

     Words come from my mouth before I can think to stop myself. "Yes. I'm
Mahyee-na so it's my sacred obligation to give myself to men."

     "Is that what that Spear-bearing warrior was doing with Shakes-like-the
ground? I saw them having sex last summer."

     I think that I know who he's talking about. "Do you know the name of
that warrior?"

     "Yes. It was Coyote Thief," answers Mist-in-his-eyes. "He had come with
Big Horn to visit with our tribe. I heard that they were lovers."

     A twinge of sadness fills my heart. This boy doesn't know that he's
breaking taboo by speaking the names of the dead. I decide not to scold him.
"What did you see those men doing together?"

     Mist-in-his-eyes eagerly reveals what he spied on. That he saw Coyote
Thief, a proud five-feathered warrior from an enemy tribe stand by a tree and
let Shakes-like-the-ground stick into his butt as if he were a squaw but they
were both men. They didn't take turns doing it; he didn't even see Coyote Thief
come out from his dick but let himself get fucked not once but twice! The boy's
voice is heard trembling with excitement during his telling of it. I feel my
cock getting hard in response. I rub it against the mat, my butt humping to
let the boy sitting on me know that I'm enjoying his story.

     Sah-omb turns onto his side to face us. I give him a sly grin. He sees
what I'm doing against the mat and reaches down for his erection to pull over
it. Mist-in-his-eyes slides back over my legs. His hands massage my butt.

     "Do you really let men stick in you?" asks Mist-in-his-eyes.

     "Yes. Shakes-like-the-ground has a big cock!"

     "Really! Does it hurt to let him do you?"

     I shrug my shoulders. "A little. But it feels good to have him stabbing
through my hole and filling it at the end." To my surprise, I feel the boy's
hands spreading my cheeks to peek inside me.

     An idea strikes me. "I've taken lots of men into my butt. A few boys,
too..." Mist-in-his-eyes doesn't say anything. He continues to look down at my
spread cheeks and I hope that he'll get the hint.

     I slowly spread my legs. My butt humps when I rub my cock against the
ground mat. I think he wants to try sticking in me but that he's afraid or
something. My left hand is brought to my mouth and I spit to it, carrying
those fingers back to my hole. Again, I spit to my hand. I reach into my butt
and stick one finger in deep, pushing it in and out. The boy gasps. His hands
fall from my cheeks.

     "Why are you doing that?" gasps Mist-in-his-eyes.

     "Cover your dick with spit," I suggest. "That makes it easier to slip in."
Sah-omb giggles. I turn to face him and see that he's pulling over his erection
with a slow steady beat, watching Mist-in-his-eyes.

     I reach both my hands back to pull my cheeks apart. Mist-in-his-eyes
shifts his weight over me. I feel the boy's fingers around his dick, trying to
aim it in me. I help him by rising from the mat slightly, aligning our bodies
so that they'll connect. I feel his knob slipping past my hole. His efforts to
stick in my butt are clumsy and show his inexperience at fucking.

     Mist-in-his-eyes finally manages to find my entrance and his dick slips
in with a quick thrust. He's not of size to cause me pain yet it's a thrilling
sensation to have swallowed this youth's pole.

     The boy's weight shifts to my back when he fully lays over me. He doesn't
move in me; no stabs. Perhaps this youth doesn't know that's how fucking is
done even though he's seen those two men doing it in the woods.

     I'm reluctant to give Mist-in-his-eyes words of instruction because that
could shame him though Sah-omb wouldn't understand my words. I decide to show
him how he's to fuck me by humping my butt.

     Sah-omb releases a sigh. I turn to him, seeing the boy reach his right
hand over to Mist-in-his-eyes and push over his butt. I feel a small stab.
Sah-omb gestures something to the other boy who reaches up for my shoulders
and grips them. More stabs are given my butt. It's a thrilling tickle without
the pain a full-grown man would be giving me. This boy isn't of size to stick
me good and I wonder if he can even cum.

     Mist-in-his-eyes shows me that he's going to try. His dick slips through
my butt hole that I tighten to enhance his thrills. His breaths blow against my
upper back. How tight his hands are over my shoulders when he performs his
first mounting. I'm glad that he is willing to act as a man in my body. I
watch Sah-omb masturbating beside me, his dark eyes shining from watching the
other boy fucking me.

     I cross my arms under my head and watch Sah-omb. He no longer pushes over
Mist-in-his-eyes' butt to force his stabs but resumes to handle his erection.
There's such a fierce expression in his eyes. He knows what it's like to get
fucked and must find it amusing to see my butt being taken.

     Mist-in-his-eyes must be feeling good. I hear his trembling breaths,
sometimes coming out as moans while his dick slips faster through my asshole.
His rhythm inside me is not much different from what a boy does when beating
off his dick. Fucking is more satisfying though. An act similar to what he'll
perform in his squaw when he's a man.

     Sah-omb gets up from the mat. I'm wondering why until feeling more weight
over my back. He's sitting over Mist-in-his-eyes? I turn my head to see what's
going on. Sah-omb's heels are pressing into my side and when my eyes follow
his leg up, I see that the boy is facing away while he's sitting over the boy
laying over my back. I know that Sah-omb doesn't like to fuck so he's not
trying to do Mist-in-his-eyes while that boy is doing me.

     There's a revealing shift in the weight over my back. Sah-omb is laying
over Mist-in-his-eyes, butts pressed together and their backs touching.
There's a pause to my fucking. I hump my butt to get Mist-in-his-eyes going
again. He does so but more slowly.

     I suppose that Sah-omb wants to enjoy feeling the boy under him while
beating off. That makes it harder for Mist-in-his-eyes to fuck me but his dick
stabs deeper through my butt by having his butt pressed down on by Sah-omb's.
I'm having to bear the weight of both boys. My breathing is strained. I'm
pinned down over the ground mat, unable to escape my rape nor do I want to.

     "What's he doing?" complains Mist-in-his-eyes.

     I'd laugh if I could gulp in more air. "Ah. Sah-omb thinks you're softer
to lay over than the ground mat."

     "He's making it harder for me to..."

     I manage a small laugh. "You're lucky that he's facing the other way," I
chide Mist-in-his-eyes. "Otherwise, you'd be enduring his dick in your butt
while you're fucking mine!"

     "I wouldn't let him!" exclaims Mist-in-his-eyes.

     I can believe that. Boys are more willing to do things with their dicks
than explore the sexual possibilities with their butts. They don't realize that
they have a girl's entrance from behind. Mist-in-his-eyes is eager to use mine
and my butt is very experienced.

     I tighten and loosen my inner ringed muscles when the boy moves his dick
through me. I hear the pleasure that he's feeling from his soft moans that
come out with his breaths. I'm unable to lift my body from the mat to meet his
forward stabs. I lay pinned over the mat. Still able to enjoy giving myself to
the boy above me while the boy above him enjoys feeling his efforts at fucking
me below him.

     I wish that I could see them! It would be quite a sight to watch Sah-omb
beating off while laying over Mist-in-his-eyes' back as he does me. Two horny
boys enjoying sex, back to back. In a way, their performing the butt touching
initiation of the Mahyee-na though its true meaning comes from the willingness
to give their butts to needing men. Only two of us allow that. I think that
the boy in me shares Shakes-like-the-ground's desire to fuck butts while
preventing theirs from being given in return.

     My shoulders begin to pain me from Mist-in-his-eyes' fingers digging into
them. Our bodies rub together easily from having mine wet from the lake. My
cock finds it difficult to rub against the ground mat. Yet I'm given some
measure of thrills each time the boy stabs deep into my hole. Not from
reaching my squaw place (he can't) but his forward thrust mashes my cock. I've
already come out in Sah-omb's arms so I doubt that I'll wet my ground mat.

     Mist-in-his-eyes doesn't set a proper beat in fucking me. His body becomes
frantic, legs straining over mine while his groin rubs against my cheeks. His
dick is prevented from pulling back by Sah-omb's weight above him. I'm not
surprised when I hear the boy complain about this.

     "I'm not going to be able to do it..."

     "Sah-omb!" I rasp with my sharp outwards breath. His weight lifts from our
backs. I turn my face to the left and see Sah-omb laying beside me on his side.
There's a mischievous expression on his face.

     Mist-in-his-eyes gets his dick moving faster through my butt hole. Free of
restraint, the boy plows through me with savage stabs. I release low moans to
let him know how good his dick feels inside me. My cheeks tighten. I clamp
down on his erection with my spincer muscles and he sighs with delight. A
thrilling high-pitched cry that comes out with each breath. I know that he's
going to squirt in me soon.

     Sah-omb reaches for the boy's butt. I give him a stern glance that has
him pulling his right arm back to himself. He handles his pole instead.
Mist-in-his-eyes bucks like a stallion over me, his dick driving into my butt
like a flint blade and I'm given some pain by his savage thrusts. The boy
cries out. I'm given a few more stabs before he collapses over my back panting
like a fallen buffalo. I didn't feel him cum in me.

     There's giggling from Sah-omb. Mist-in-his-eyes lets my shoulders go when
he rises to his knees. He pulls out of my butt. I turn my head to catch the
expression on his face but the afternoon sun blinds me. The boy stands up. He
staggers to my right, reaching down for his breechclout flaps that he is quick
to cover his body with.

     "I have to go. My mother is waiting for me to return with firewood."

     I slowly nod my head. Mist-in-his-eyes won't look at me and I'm left with
an awkward feeling about what we've done. There's no love between us not even
a friendship since we've just met. His lust had him accepting my offering. Now
that it has been spent, I think the youth is left feeling embarrassed.

     "I hope to see you again. Ah, you'll not tell anyone about..."

     "No. I won't," promises Mist-in-his-eyes. He looks towards the stairs and
starts running.

     I watch the boy go. I'm left with an uneasy feeling and I scold myself
for having tempted that youth into sex when he may not be ready for it. His
curiosity had him spying on us and lust brought him to us. I hope that he
doesn't regret what he did and that he will keep the matter to himself.

     I'm startled when Sah-omb plants his butt over me. He is giggling. At
least this youth doesn't regret being with me and I know that comes from our
friendship and his experience with sharing male pleasuring with another. Boys
learn how to pull on their dicks at a young age but it is often a lone act. I
shouldn't have initiated Mist-in-his-eyes with fucking. Seeing it being done
(between those two warriors) is one thing but doing it himself is another. I
hope that we'll meet again - to talk about it and give me the opportunity to
learn more about him that could lead to friendship. When sex is done only for
the sake of venting lust, it leaves one feeling empty inside afterwards. The
boy may be feeling troubled by what he'd done that put his masculinity in
doubt.

     Sah-omb massages my back. I moan to let him know how good that feels and
his wiggly butt is a sensual feeling that keeps my cock hard. I'm tempted to
fuck him but my lust has already been spent in his arms. I hump my butt
suggestingly. The boy continues to work his hands over my back and he ignores
my offer to fuck me.

     I press my face against the ground mat and close my eyes. My body relaxes
under the boy's hands. It feels real good. My head is in turmoil though. The
shaman's question returns to me like a restless spirit. I know how I should
have answered him but I was afraid to commit myself to responsibility, to be
shaman of my tribe. Oh, my body is torn up and so weary from what I've been
through this summer! I need a few days to rest. To fully return to myself as
that carefree youth I was - a boy named Willow Bird.

     Sah-omb slides down to lay at my side. I think he may want his turn for a
massage but I'm feeling too relaxed to move. The sun is warm over my back. I
force the troubling thoughts from my head and take a nap.


     I'm awakened by giggling. When turning my head at the sound, I see a squaw
standing on the shore holding an empty water skin. A boy is filling another
with water from the lake. His white breechclout is hanging from the medicine
pole.

     "Be quick!" the woman scolds. "There's another one for you to fill."

     Sah-omb stirs at my side. He also looks at the squaw before his eyes go to
to the naked youth in the water. We watch the boy return and accept the empty
water skin from the woman's hands. She doesn't turn to look at us. The boy
does. His curious eyes fall over us and there's a grin on his lips before he
turns away, returning to the lake.

     I press my face in the ground mat and wait for them to leave. For some
reason, I'm feeling embarrassed. Probably from having the woman near and I
feel her eyes falling over me from time to time. Their voices become mere
whispers. I think the boy asks his mother about me and she answers him with a
sharp hiss of breath. Their footsteps are heard going into the distance.
Relief fills me.

     Sah-omb gets to his knees. He takes a good look around before dropping
his eyes on me. My belly rumbles with hunger. I lift myself from the ground
mat and look for our breechclouts. The boy runs to fetch them by the medicine
pole where we've left them earlier. He dons his. When I stand up, Sah-omb ties
the thong belt around my waist then folds each deerskin flap over my butt and
loins. Shakes-like-the-ground has gifted me with a new breechclout. It feels
soft against my body.

     I head for the stairs. Sah-omb rolls up our ground mat and reaches for my
hand. Together, we make our way down. I'm feeling weary. I could use some more
sleep in the shaman's lodge and that's where the boy is probably taking me.

     A two-feathered warrior lifts his right hand to me in greeting. I return
his gesture but continue past him without stopping for conversation. The
shaman's big lodge comes into sight. I announce my name at the door and the
old man's voice bids us to enter.

     "Ah. You were a long time at Spirit Lake," the shaman asks.

     I nod my head. "Sah-omb bathed me and afterwards, we took a nap under the
sun." I glance at the boy. He doesn't know what I've said though I suspect
that he'll tell the shaman everything when I'm not around.

     My stomach rumbles with hunger. That reminds me... Shakes-like-the-ground
had told me that my buffalo meat should be done smoking. I tell the shaman that
I'm off to collect it from the smoking racks.

     "You had time to hunt during your ordeal?" the shaman asks with amusement
heard in his voice.

     "No. We'd found a fallen buffalo in the plains on our way here," I
explain. "It was bloody knife work. Colored Rain's horse carried my sacks of
meat but I had to carry his two bundles of blankets over my shoulders."

     "Hmm. Go ahead and fetch your smoked meat, Willow Bird. I know that you're
not used to eating sheep flesh."

     I nod my head and turn for the door. Sah-omb does not join me outside. I
look around at all the other lodges and try to get my bearings. Big Horn and I
had brought fresh meat when we last visited so I think that I'll be able to
find the women's smoking racks.

     I pass the tree barked lodges of the Moss-bowl tribe and on and on they
go. They are many! Squaws are found sitting over their ground mats outside
performing chores: sewing clothes, grounding seed into flour and gossiping
with each other. A few look up at me but don't say a word.

     There are few men to be seen. They go about fully clothed in breechclouts
and shirts. It's no wonder that their bodies are so pale. I recall Big Horn
taking me to their central lodge where the men go during the day. That's where
they can relax over their ground mats, naked and in pursuit of idle pleasures
such as smoking, crafts making or to nap the day away. No talking though.

     My walk takes me past more lodges but I don't find the smoking racks. I'm
reluctant to stop and ask for directions. It's not proper for me to speak with
a squaw that I've not first been introduced to. I continue walking. Their herd
of lodges has to end soon! Probably with me falling off a cliff.

     A familiar face comes into sight. The boy sees me but turns abruptly and
walks quickly away. "Night's Star!" I call out. My feet catch up with him so
he turns to me with a tense face.

     "Greetings, Willow Bird."

     "Greetings to you, Night's Star. Ah. Why were you trying to run away?"

     "I wasn't. Did you see me running?"

     I'm taken back by the boy's hostility. "No. Perhaps you didn't know it
was me," I answer softly. "Hmm. How have you been?"

     "I am fine. And you?"

     I shrug my shoulders and endure the boy's long stare over my body. He must
see the changes to me; the seared wounds to my legs, my healed knife wound
below my left shoulder and the many scratches and bruises covering me.

     "Have you come with Big Horn?"

     I drop my eyes to the ground. "He is dead."

     "Oh, I am sorry Willow Bird!"

     I think that the boy is going to ask me how so I quickly ask, "How is
Sings-to-the-birds?" When I left the tribe, they were fast becoming lovers.

     "He is long gone."

     I'm reminded with a start that Sings-to-the-birds was going to visit my
tribe to attend my naming rite last summer's eve but he wouldn't have been
able to find my tribe because they'd moved from their usual encampment.

     I peer at Night's Star and see many conflicting emotions cross his face:
anger, some sadness and the worry that he's feeling. It begs my question.
"What's happened between the two of you?"

     Night's Star flares his eyes in warning and looks around. He signals that
we should walk away from prying eyes before talking about it. I follow the boy
until he comes to an outcropping of rocks. Not a good place to set up a lodge.
Night's Star takes a good look around before he's assured that we're alone.

     "It's all my fault!" explains Night's Star. "He's been banished from my
tribe and I won't ever see him again!"

     I grip the boy's right shoulder and with my eyes, ask him to explain what
happened.

     "Sings-to-the-birds had left to visit your tribe. I wanted to come along
but he wouldn't allow it. Not if our secret was to be kept. Yet I chased after
him down the mountain and found his night camp at the base. We spent the next
day together. The happiest time of my life! He was torn by bringing me along
or returning me to my tribe and that's when a war party my father led found us.
Together. Sings-to-the-birds was beaten and told that he was no longer welcomed
by the Moss-bowl Tribe. I couldn't sway my father's angry decision even when I
proclaimed my love for that brave and told them that it was my fault."

     My heart feels for the boy. When his teary eyes peer up at me, I pull him
into my arms. I try shooing him to end his crying.

     "He must have... told you what... happened!"

     I keep my tight hug of Night's Star for a moment longer before answering,
"No. I haven't seen him. My tribe has moved from their place upriver and
settled near the Split Tribe."

     Night's Star looks up in fear. "Then where is he?"

     I slowly shake my head. "Perhaps when he couldn't find my tribe, he
returned to his." Sings-to-the-birds had told me that he comes from the Snow
Drinkers Tribe. Their People have settled on Cloy Mountain, the shorter
brother to where the Moss-bowl People live on Mount Moy.

     "I have to find him," the boy whispers. There's determination in his
voice that reveals his regret from what had happened.

     "You are still two years from being named a brave," I gently explain. "It
would be foolish to go off on your own to find him. And you don't know if he's
returned to the Snow Drinkers."

     "Where else could he go?"

     "I don't know... Ah. Is anyone from the Snow Drinkers here," I ask.

     "No. Their People and ours are not on friendly terms. Oh, Willow Bird!
I have to find him!"

     I push the boy gently from my arms so that I can look fully upon him. He
looks older than his thirteen years. A mature youth who is close to being named
a man but his love could blind him from doing what is best.

     "Let me ask around. Don't go chasing after him until you know where he is,
Night's Star. Sings-to-the-birds would not want you to get killed trying to
find him so you must be patient. Wait until you really know."

     "That's what I have been doing. I can't wait much longer!"

     "Hmm. You must prove that you're a man, Night's Star. What would a warrior
do when going on the warpath?"

     Night's Star grins. "He would learn where his enemies were, arm himself
with weapons, a night blanket and food for the journey. And he would bring
along a trusted companion..."

     I glean this youth's hint. "That sounds good, Night's Star but I cannot
go with you. I'm sorry. There's trouble back at my tribe and I must return to
them soon."

     "Isn't Sings-to-the-birds your responsibility now that he's Mahyee-na?"

     I slowly nod my head. "My monedo had initiated him. I am now leader of
the Mahyee-na but I have responsibilities for an entire People so I can't help
Sings-to-the-birds right now."

     Night's Star is angry but he nods his head with understanding.

     To break the boy from his grim mood, I ask him to help me find where the
smoking racks are. Night's Star kicks at the dirt for a moment before springing
in a direction that takes us back to the lodges. We walk side by side in
silence. I'm pondering over how best to help this youth. I want to see him and
Sings-to-the-birds getting back together but it's yet another burden coming to
my shoulders.

                                     ***

SPECIAL OFFER: I'm giving away free copies of my Windows compatible cd-roms:
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Nifty Archive postings. Nude images of Indian men and boys (legal to view by
adults in these United States), images of Native artifacts, historic b&w
photos, children's picture books on Indians and movie clips from my favorite
Native American films are also included. eBook versions of all my out-of-print
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It's like having an electronic view of my originally illustrated booklets! The
install file for Adobe's Acrobat Reader is included or you can download a free
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The first ten persons who respond to this offer will also receive a set of
129 Art Cards that depict the erotic drawings/photos that helped illustrate
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To get your free copy of "Artwork & Stories of Vince Water" that includes two
Windows compatible cd-roms and instructional booklet just send me an email
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After receiving your email request, I'll first send out a postcard with a
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Upon receiving your verification number, I'll mail you the cd-roms. If you're
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Be assured that I won't be using your mailing address for any other purpose
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This offer is limited to adults over twenty-one who reside in the United
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If you can, please make a donation to the Nifty Archive. My thanks to David
for posting my stories as well as all the other fine authors that you have
enjoyed reading from on this free-service Internet web site:  www.Nifty.Org/

Questions, comments or suggestions about my stories should be addressed to:
VinceWater@HotMail.com

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