Date: Fri, 03 Apr 1998 00:31:39 PST
From: silent killer <kyoushuman@hotmail.com>
Subject: A Gay Kid's Story

I. Alan and Matt

I knew I was gay since I was 6 years old. But then again, I've been
attracted to my mom for as long as I can remember. This is a collection of
my memories about being gay and being attracted to my mom ... I think
someone out there will find this interesting.

When I was 9 I often spent the night with my friend Alan. We'd sleep on the
fold-out sofa in his parents' living room, crawl under the covers and play
with each other's dicks. Alan gave me many of my first sexual experiences,
like cocksucking. We would just literally suck each other's dicks like
popsicles or lollipops, with no up and down movement. We would also lick
each other's balls. We didn't know about really giving blowjobs. Alan
learned how to do this stuff from his older brother, Matt, who was 19 and
in the army. Alan told me about the first time it happened, when he found
his brother jacking off in their tree fort. Alan was 6 and his brother was
16. His brother was looking at some porn and showed it to Alan while he
kept jacking off, then he told Alan to help him out. He made Alan play with
his dick, and then he pulled Alan's pants down and played with his little
erection. Then he sucked Alan for a little while, and made Alan suck him to
orgasm. Alan didn't like the semen in his mouth but Matt made him do
it. Matt said he was sorry if Alan didn't like it and made him promise not
to tell. Because Alan enjoyed it, he agreed not to tell. Then they met in
the tree fort a lot after school and had oral sex a lot.

When I met Alan his brother was still away in the army. Alan showed me
about masturbating and oral sex the first time I spent the night, and then
after that we did it every time I stayed there. We were afraid to do it at
my house because my Mom's bedroom was right next to the living room where
we slept. We did play with each other's dicks sometimes at my house, but I
wouldn't let Alan do anything else because I was sure my Mom would wake up
to get some water and catch us.

At Alan's house we had oral sex as much as we could. When we could, we'd
sneak into Matt's room and get out the same porn magazines that Matt used
in the tree fort. Matt had gay and straight porn. Alan liked the straight
stuff and I liked the gay stuff. For some reason we both thought the
pictures of actual genital intercourse were nasty, but all the pictures of
oral sex we liked. We had a few favorite pictures that we would look at
while we fooled around. One was of a young-looking guy sucking the cock of
a much older man. Another was of a hairless, small-breasted woman sucking
off two young men at once. The last was a photo of a very young man, maybe
18 or so, getting a blowjob from a much older woman. In fact, this was a
whole series and ended with the young man shooting his cum all over the
woman's huge breasts. I liked this series a lot because it reminded me of
my mom.

Anyway, at 9 years old, Alan and I knew a lot about sex, or we thought we
did. When Matt came home on leave from the army, he resumed his tree fort
games with Alan. One day after school, I walked home with Alan. We went
directly to the tree fort and there was Matt, sitting on the dirty floor,
naked from the waist down and jacking off his huge dick while looking at
porn. When he saw Alan he said, "Hey, come here," but when he saw me he
said "What the fuck?" and jumped up to find his pants. That was the first
time I heard that word spoken out loud by someone besides me and Alan while
we read the porn magazines. Matt started yelling at Alan that he shouldn't
have told anybody and Alan said that he had showed me everything and that I
liked it. Matt calmed down a little bit and sat back down, but didn't take
off his pants. Alan and I started going through the magazines to find our
favorite pictures, and I found the one with the young man and the older
man. Alan pulled his pants down and played with his hard dick, which made
me and Matt do the same thing almost simultaneously. Matt told his brother
"come here" and while Matt jacked off he sucked Alan's dick. Then he asked
me to stand on the other side, and he sucked my dick too. Unlike Alan, Matt
went back and forth on my dick, which felt even better. Then Matt said we
should both suck him, so we laid down next to him and took turns sucking
his penis, which seemed huge to me. I could barely fit the head into my
little mouth, but I managed to suck a few inches into my mouth. Matt taught
us to go back and forth. Actually he taught me, since all he had to do with
Alan was remind him how to do it. After a while he said, "I'm gonna cum"
and he started to jack himself off. We watched as he shot huge spurts into
the air, and then a lot of sperm just dribbled out of his dick head and
down his hand. He told Alan to lick it up, and Alan did. Then he asked me
if I wanted a taste, and I said yes and licked some up. I thought it was
wonderful, smell and taste, everything. Matt said that we could do this a
lot if we kept our mouths shut, and we promised we wouldn't tell
anyone. Then Matt said he would show us something new tomorrow, put on his
pants, and left the tree fort. For a while Alan and I took turns sucking
each other, then we put our pants back on, hid the porn in the tree fort,
and left. I went home and Alan went inside his house.

The next day we showed up and Matt was there again, except this time he was
totally naked. He looked so big and strong, and almost scary with his army
haircut. He told us to get undressed and said he wanted to do something
else today. He showed us a tube and told Alan to get on his hands and
knees. He squirted some lubricant from the tube on his dick, and then
rubbed some on Alan's asshole while he told us what he was going to
do. Alan sat up and said no way, that was nasty. Matt said no, it was great
and we would like it. Alan and Matt argued about it for a while, and they
got so mad that they lost their boners. Mine stayed hard though, because I
thought I might like to try anal sex. So I told Matt that he could do it to
me. Matt thought that was OK and jacked himself off to an erection again
with the lubricant, then told me to get on my hands & knees. He put the
lube on my ass and I shivered because the lube was cold and because I was
very excited. Then he called his brother around to watch. Alan moved behind
me. I was staring at the wall, then I closed my eyes. I felt Matt touch the
head of his dick to my asshole. He told me to relax and open up like I was
going to fart. I did, and right when I did he put the head of his penis
in. He slowly slid his dick in all the way, and to me it felt really good
and not painful at all. Matt moaned and I didn't hear Alan say
anything. Then Matt fucked my ass, slowly at first, then fast. He came
inside of me, too. I could feel every throb and pulse of his dick, as well
as the spurts of semen in my ass. When he pulled out I fell on the ground
and sighed. Alan asked me how it felt and I told him it felt good, and that
he should let Matt do it to him. Matt said that when we were older, we
could do it to each other or to him too. Suddenly I realized I felt like I
had to shit, so I left the tree fort, still naked, and went outside to shit
in the bushes. There was a lot of gross noise like I was having diarrhea,
but soon I finished and I wiped myself with some leaves, then I went back
inside the tree fort where Alan and Matt were looking at magazines
again. Matt said that he could bring some new magazines next time he came
back from the army, and we said OK. Then I asked if I could borrow some of
the magazines, and Matt said that would be OK too. I picked out my favorite
two magazines, the one with the older & younger gay men and the one with
the young man and older woman, put my clothes on and walked home.

I rolled up the magazines and stuck them in the back of my pants so my Mom
wouldn't see them. I managed to get into my room and hide the magazines
without even seeing Mom, so I was safe. That night I played with my dick
while I looked at the magazines and fantasized about having oral & anal sex
with Matt, and seeing my Mom naked.

The next day I went to see Matt with Alan again. Again he was sitting in
the tree fort with the magazines, completely naked and with a boner,
waiting for us. We took off our clothes and the three of us actually kind
of made out for a while. Alan and I sat on Matt's lap and felt his body
while we took turns kissing him and each other and Matt felt us up
too. After a lot of that, he had us both stand up so he could suck each one
of us, and he did for a long time. Then Matt said it was time for something
new, and he laid on the floor of the fort and told me to sit on his
chest. Then he told Alan to suck his cock. When Alan got between Matt's
spread legs and started sucking, Matt started sucking my cock, which felt
really good. We did this for a short time and then Matt said he wanted us
both to suck him, so he told me to kneel over his head so he could suck me
while I helped Alan suck him. He took my cock and balls into his mouth and
ran his tongue all over them, while I took turns sucking his dick with
Alan. God it was great. Matt came while I was sucking him, so I got a
mouthful, then Matt used his hand to bring himself off the rest of the way,
and Alan and I licked up the mess from Matt's hairy crotch. I liked it more
than Alan did. Matt said, "I wish you guys could cum so I could taste you
too."

After that we sat around for a while and played with each other's
dicks. Matt sucked us both for a long time, and when he got hard again he
wanted to fuck my ass again. I let him do it, it was great. Again, we both
told Alan that he should try it, but Alan refused. It went on like that for
another 3 days, then Matt's leave was over and he had to go back to the
army on Saturday.

When Alan and I spent the night together again, we figured out how to 69
and so we did that a lot. While I was borrowing Matt's magazines I had a
chance to read some of the stories in there, and one story had a lot about
reaming, so Alan and I tried that. After the first time we agreed that we
should shower or bathe before we tried reaming again. We tried anal sex
many times, but most of the time Alan's dick was too small to stay in my
ass. He still wouldn't let me put my dick in his ass, though he liked it
when I licked his asshole.

A couple of notable incidents with me and Alan: when it got warmer outside
at night, we'd go out in the yard, take off all our clothes and fuck & suck
in the dirt, which we both thought was really exciting. We'd also go out
and spy on the neighbors, but we usually didn't see anything except a
glimpse of genitals, buttocks or breasts while someone was changing clothes
or getting in the bath or shower, and we didn't even see much of that. We
did spy on this older kid Jim, who was about 13, and watched him jack off
in his bedroom sometimes. Usually he did it with the lights off and under
the covers, but on rare occasions during the summer he would do it outside
his sheets and with the light on. We liked to watch him cum.

Alan and I almost never talked about sex stuff unless we were doing it. I
knew Alan didn't think of himself as gay, but I sure did. I liked Alan a
lot and I was practically in love with Matt. But I didn't say anything
because even back then I knew what it meant to be labelled a "fag" or
"homo." Even Alan and Matt hated fags, or so they said.


II. My Mom

A couple of times when we were growing up, Alan and I would try to catch
his parents fucking, or try to see my Mom naked. While we spent the night
as his house, we did hear his parents fuck a lot, though we only saw them a
few times and that was through the bedroom window during the summer, when
they left the lights on. I liked to look at Alan's dad's big prick going in
and out of Alan's mom's mouth or cunt. Alan thought it was weird and funny
and nasty. I don't think he got as much of a sexual charge out of it as I
did. He did like to look at my mom though.

OK, my mom is a short, stocky woman with short dark hair, freckles, those
rounded, fleshy arms you see on middle-aged women, big hips, and big
tits. My mom wasn't immodest but she was very casual around the house. She
wouldn't prance around naked or anything, but she didn't mind leaving her
bedroom in her underwear to go get a book from the living room or
something. There were a couple of times when she got out of the shower with
her robe on and sat on the couch to watch TV while she brushed & dried her
hair, and let her robe fall open enough so that I could see a little bit of
her pussy hair. But that happened only a couple of times. Even so it was
enough to encourage my constant fantasizing about my mother.

Whenever Alan would spend the night at my house, we would try to spy on my
mom in her bedroom or bathroom, which was pretty easy. We almost never saw
anything, though. The best time was one time when my mom was taking a
shower. We were peeking through the door. She stepped out, dried off, and
put on her robe. We got a decent look at her body. Then she headed for the
door and we jumped into the kitchen. She heard us giggle and whisper, and
she called my name. "Paul, come here," she said. We froze, and she called
me again. I went around to see what she wanted. She asked if we were spying
on her and I said no. She asked what we were doing in the hallway and I
said playing a game. She asked what game, and I shrugged. Then she said OK,
well, remember that most people don't like to be spied on, and then she
went into her bedroom and closed the door. Alan and I went outside to the
window outside her bedroom and peeped through the blinds. We saw her take
off her robe and lay on the bed. She stroked herself for a few minutes, and
then got up to get dressed. It was the best. Alan and I were whispering
things like "Holy shit!" and "Look at her!" outside the window. That night
when we finally got in the sofa bed and turned out the light, we were both
rock hard. We whispered about my mom's tits and pussy all night while
playing with each other's dicks. I think we were about 10 at this point but
we still couldn't cum so there wasn't much point.

Another time, Alan and I were fooling around in my bedroom for a long
time. For some reason Alan wanted to go take a bath with me. He wanted us
to try sex while in the hot water. This wasn't too much of a thrill for me,
but I was up for anything. It was late at night and I was sure my mom was
asleep in bed. We put on our pajama bottoms and crept all the way down the
hall to the bathroom. The light was on inside, but I didn't think anything
about it since the light was always on in the bathroom. So I quickly opened
the door, because if you opened it slowly it would creak very loudly, and
then we closed it quickly too. We took off our pajama bottoms and still had
erections. We giggled and groped each other for a bit, then I went over to
the bathtub to turn on the water. When I pushed back the shower curtain I
had a surprise: my mom was asleep in the full bathtub. And there were me
and Alan standing nude with hardons right next to her. We burst out
giggling and I closed the curtain, but that woke her up. We grabbed our
pajama bottoms and ran out of the room while she yawned and said, "Hello?
Who's there?" and called out my name. We ran into my bedroom, put on our
pajama bottoms and jumped into bed so we could pretend to be asleep. In a
few minutes my mom came into the room wearing her bathrobe. She stood there
for a minute and yawned, then sat on the bed. She pulled the covers back to
look at us. Then she reached across Alan to stroke my back and arms. Her
hand touched my ass a couple of times and even went around the front to
glide over my still hard dick, but only once. Then she stood up, tucked us
in, kissed us both and closed the door as she left. We laid there for a few
minutes in silence, then giggled some more.

Alan and I fooled around a lot at my house but that was the only incident
with my mom where Alan was around. I continued to sneak around the house
and spy on Mom a lot. Like any good gay kid (ha ha) I went through her
laundry and tried wearing her hose and panties. I loved to wear her panties
for obvious reasons. When I was about 14, my mom told me to go to her room
with her. She closed the door and folded her arms, then asked me if I was
wearing any of her underwear. I was very ashamed and embarrassed to be
caught so I could barely speak, but I told her that I was. She told me to
take it off. I looked at her and she repeated her order. So I took off my
shoes and my jeans, and there I was standing in my mom's bedroom, wearing a
pair of her silk panties with a huge boner sticking out. She told me to go
on and take it off, and I did. I handed her panties to her and to my
surprise she opened her bathrobe to show her nude body and pulled on her
panties. The act of putting her legs through the panties gave me a glimpse
of her pussy lips. My erection did not go away, it just pulsed in front of
me on its own. Once she pulled her panties on, she closed her robe and
folded her arms again. She stared at me and my hard dick for what seems
like quite a while. Then she said, "My, you've grown. Look at you!" She
stared at me for a few more minutes, then told me that I could go. I
started to leave, but she yelled at me to pick up my shoes and pants. I
grabbed them and ran into my room. I shut the door and jacked off until I
came all over myself.

Let's see, during the summer before my 16th birthday, one more thing
happened which really got me going. I had kept up spying on my mom but I
had quit having sex with Alan and Matt, and she had caught me spying on her
a few times but let me go with nothing more than just a lecture. One night
after I had just masturbated myself to orgasm while in my bedroom, my mom
knocked on the door. I was already back in my underwear & under the sheet,
so I told her she could come in. She was wearing her jogging suit and
sneakers. She smiled and laughed before either of us said anything, then
she leaned against the wall and looked at me. "Well, I got tired of telling
you again and again not to spy on me. So guess what I did tonight?" I was
embarrassed that she was bringing this up, but I had no idea what she had
done. I shrugged. "I spied on you tonight," she said, and laughed. I just
looked at her. She kept laughing. "I saw you masturbating!" she explained
through her chuckles. I moaned with shame and rolled over in bed, flipping
the sheets over my head. "What's the matter? You don't like people spying
on you? Maybe you ought to quit spying on other people." I stayed under the
sheets until I heard my door close. When I peeked out, she was gone. I felt
like a moron, until I started to think about what she had done. The more I
thought about my mom watching me jack off, the more excited I got, until
once again my cock was hard. I went to sleep without beating off a second
time, daring myself to take the obvious next step.

The next night, when I knew she was in the shower, I went in there to take
a piss. I was dressed in my underwear only, and the thought of what I was
about to do had already made me semi-hard. When I entered the room, she
called my name and I said hello. She asked the same question she always
asks -- "Why can't you use the bathroom downstairs?" I told her I really
really had to go bad. I took my dick out of my underwear and stood next to
the toilet. My mom stuck her head out of the shower. "Put up the seat!" she
nagged. I leaned over and lifted up the ring seat (the lid was already up,
of course) and then started to piss. I looked over at her. She was looking
at me. "Yes?" I asked. She shrugged. "I'm just waiting for you to leave." I
finished pissing, which was difficult since my cock was slowly getting
harder. Then I acted like I was going to flush the toilet, and she yelled
at me because flushing would make the shower go cold. Then she closed the
curtain and resumed her shower. I went over and stuck my head through the
curtain. God she looked good, with all of her curves wet and soapy. She
turned around and looked at me. "Yes?" she said in exactly the same tone I
had used earlier. "I'm spying on you, Mom," I said. Instead of getting mad,
she laughed and did a little dance. Then she threw the soap at me and told
me to get out of there. Before I left I said, "Don't pick up the soap --
you know what happens when you do that!" Then I went to my bedroom, yanked
off my underwear, and shut the door. I started masturbating, then I thought
to open the curtains on my window so that if Mom wanted to spy again, she
could get a really good view. I jacked myself for a while, just enough to
keep myself hard and excited, until I heard the shower stop running. Then I
really started beating off. My fantasies were the same as always -- being
with Alan and Matt, being with some boys from school, or being with my
Mom. As soon as I shot my cum, I leaned over and looked out the window to
see if my mom was there. She wasn't. I put on my robe and went to look for
her. She was watching TV in the living room. I was disappointed but
determined to try again. Many times after that I spied on her, sometimes in
an obvious way so she could catch me, sometimes secretly. Every time I
jacked off after that, I did it with my lights on, on top of my sheets,
with the curtains open a little. Now and then she would come in my room
after I finished and "surprise" me by telling me that she had been spying
on me again, and lecturing me about being a peeping Tom. Once she yelled at
me that the whole neighborhood could see me, and that I shouldn't leave my
window curtains open like that. Finally, near the end of that summer, she
came into my room while I was masturbating. She stood there and said,
"Well, go ahead, I know you know I've been watching you." So I finished and
shot all over myself. My mom threw me a washrag and told me to clean myself
up and get under the covers. When I did, she gave me a big lecture about
how it was inappropriate for me to exhibit myself to my own mom. She also
warned me that she would not tolerate any more spying on her. She said if I
did it again, I would really be punished, with privileges taken away and so
forth. I started crying and told Mom that she didn't have to worry, because
I thought I was gay. She stared at me, then to my surprise she came and
gave me a big hug. We talked until 3:30 in the morning about my gayness. I
lied and said that I was only spying on her because I wanted to be straight
and be excited by women's bodies. The truth was that I just liked her body
and the idea of incest. I told her that when I masturbated I thought only
of men even though I knew she was watching. She believed all of it and
actually told me that it was OK. She said it was OK if I joined a gay youth
group, or if I brought boyfriends home or whatever, and she told me that I
didn't need to spy on her or pretend to be straight. So I agreed that I
wouldn't spy on her any more or jack off in front of the window. As soon as
she left the room and went to her own bed, I jacked off and fantasized
about her again.


III. Eric, Andy, Bill and Peter.

In ninth grade I met a kid named Eric. Eric was my height, blond, slightly
pudgy, with freckles and an almost Asian slant to his eyes. He was very
cute. It didn't take long for us to fool around. The first night I stayed
at his house, he showed me where his dad kept pornography; after half an
hour of looking at the stuff Eric showed me his boner. Without saying
anything I sucked it into my mouth and coaxed him into an orgasm. Then he
did me. Later, in bed, I told him about Alan and Matt. He told me that he
did the same thing with his little brother, Andy, a kid in fifth grade who
had been bothering us all night. The next morning (a Saturday) we took his
brother out to an empty construction site where Eric showed me how good of
a cocksucker Andy was. We hid in the weeds behind a trailer and Andy took
turns sucking our dicks. To this day the sight of tall weeds and the smell
of freshly overturned dirt gives me a hardon. I wanted to suck Andy too, so
I asked him to take off his pants. He had a cute little boner. I was able
to fit his erection and his testicles in my mouth all at once. Of course
Andy couldn't cum, but Eric and I could, and did. I also showed Eric and
Andy what Matt had taught me -- I told Eric to fuck my ass, and he was very
good at it. Eventually we were doing it like this: Andy would lay on the
floor (or ground, or whatever) and I would get on all fours over him in a
69. Then Eric would kneel behind me and fuck my rectum while Andy and I
sucked each other. I usually came first, then Eric.

One day Eric and I were at the construction site by ourselves. Eric was
sitting against the trailer, I was standing in front of him. I had just
sucked his cock and I was getting ready to take mine out so he could suck
it when a man appeared at the edge of the trailer. He was dressed in boots,
blue jeans and a dirty blue shirt. He yelled at us and threatened to call
the cops. At this point we were both dressed, so we didn't know if he had
seen us or not. He said he would tell our parents unless we went into the
trailer with him. At that point Eric and I just ran away and kept running
until we were back at Eric's house. We were terrified. We never went back
to the construction site, though for weeks I would secretly fantasize about
having sex with that man. Eric wouldn't even have sex with me for a few
weeks after that incident because he was afraid that somehow the man
already knew who we were and where we lived, and would soon tell our
parents and call the cops on us. For some reason I wasn't so worried.

When Eric's mom finally caught him with his dick in Andy's mouth, she had
him put in a psychiatric hospital for "raping" Andy and sent Andy to a
shrink. I never saw Eric after that. The thing is, three days before she
caught them and flipped out, Eric and I had been taking turns with Andy's
mouth, and Andy was a very willing partner. When it all came apart, I was
really scared that Andy or Eric would tell on me, but I guess they never
did since I never heard anything about it.

For a couple of years I had no sex at all. I even tried to hook up with
Alan again, but it was too weird -- he had decided to renounce his queer
acts with me and treated me with hostility and disrespect. I wasn't too
disappointed since I kind of expected it. I never did see Alan's brother,
Matt, again.

At 17, I took a job as a lifeguard at our country club swimming pool. I
spent a lot of time flirting with boys my age as well as older gay men, but
I never let it go too far. When I would give swimming lessons to younger
boys I would feel their cocks and asses through their bathing suits and
they would squirm and blush. There were two boys I taught how to swim named
Bill and Peter who became my friends. They were both 9 years old. I lusted
after them, so my head was always buzzing with ways to touch or see
them. Since I really wasn't supposed to leave my lifeguard chair during the
active part of my shift, I hardly got a chance to do anything but talk to
them. During the on-deck part of my shift (when I was still on duty but
another lifeguard was sitting in the big chair), I could swim, sunbathe or
do whatever. I hung out with Bill and Peter a lot during this time,
tickling them, talking to them, picking them up and copping a quick feel
before tossing them back into the water, and a lot of other mostly harmless
stuff.

The first time I saw them naked was completely accidental. I went into the
main locker room in search of another friend of mine and saw Bill and Peter
with an older man who I knew was Peter's dad. All three were naked and in
the showers. I waved to all three of them as I walked past. I couldn't find
my friend, so I walked past the showers again and asked them if the showers
were cold enough. Peter's dad said, "These showers are always so cold!
Can't you guys fix them!" and laughed. I laughed too and took another quick
look at the boys' naked bodies, then I went back to the pool and jumped in
to hide my growing boner. That night I fantasized heavily about the boys. I
wondered if Peter's dad liked to play with his son's little erection, or if
the two boys sucked each other off. God, I was far gone at this point (I
still am!) -- I constantly fantasized about gay sex. I really wasn't
thinking about my mom that much anymore, except for when I caught an
accidental glimpse of her breasts or something. I had quit spying on her
years ago after our long talk.

I knew that Bill and Peter came to the pool alone on Saturdays around noon
or 1 pm and stayed for a couple of hours or longer, but never past four
pm. They were accompanied by a parent or two on weekdays or Sundays, but
not Saturdays. So I arranged my schedule so that I got off work at 4 pm on
Saturdays. The first few Saturdays, I had no luck since they left early or
didn't come to the pool at all. But finally it all came together, and I saw
the boys getting ready to leave just as the next shift lifeguard showed
up. I hopped off the chair, grabbed my stuff and went over to the boys. I
told them that they could change & shower in the lifeguard's locker room if
they wanted, and they agreed.

The lifeguard locker room was really just a small room right next to the
main women's locker room. It was meant for one person. There was a small
bench, nine lockers, a sink, a toilet and two shower heads. I locked the
door behind us, which was normal. I quickly stripped off my bathing suit
and took a piss. The boys stared at my hairy, half-erect penis. "I guess
you guys just pee in the pool," I joked, and they laughed. This seemed to
break the tension and they took off their suits. When I finished pissing I
was well on my way to a huge fucking hardon. "I always get hard when I pee
after swimming," I said. I pumped my cock a little bit until it was
completely erect. The boys looked at each other, then laughed. They took
turns peeing while I watched. I started the two showers and the three of us
crowded around the shower heads. While we showered, the boys kept bumping
into my hardon. I would act surprised and tease them about it, and they
would tease each other. Both of them got erections pretty quickly, too. I
decided to go only as far as they did, so I kept my hands off of them for
now. The shower finished and nothing happened. I put on my street clothes &
so did they, then we all left. They walked home, I drove home.

The next time it happened, I was already hard when we reached the locker
room. I couldn't piss. "Maybe it will go down while we shower," I said, and
we got into the shower. Of course it didn't go down, since these two cute
boys kept bumping and nudging it while moving around under the shower. So
after the shower, they toweled off but I sat down on the bench and started
jacking off. "You guys ever jack off?" I said. They said No, pretty firmly,
which to me meant that they did but were experiencing some kind of peer
pressure about not admitting to masturbation. I asked them how they got
their boners to go away, since the only way I could do it was to jack
off. They didn't say anything. Bill got dressed but Peter just sat there in
his underwear. Peter's hardon was obvious. Finally, I threw my head back
and started cumming onto the cold wet floor. They just watched. I felt
really weird about it all of a sudden, so I put my clothes on and said
nothing about it. When we left I just said, "See you next time."

The next time, when I asked them to hit the showers with me, I expected
them to say no but they both agreed. When they stripped naked they both had
hardons. Surprise, surprise, so did I. I told them that this time I was
going to jack off before we got into the shower, and I calmly told them
that if they wanted to jack off, it was OK and I wouldn't tell anybody. So
while I jacked my cock, Peter sat down on the bench, spread his little legs
and played with himself. I told him that it was really cool that he was
doing that with me, and that was all it took for Bill to sit down next to
Peter and play with his dick, too. I decided to jump ahead and I suggested
that we compare cock size. I told them to stand up and they did. I stood in
front of them and told them to move closer so we could compare. All three
of us were gently playing with ourselves ... our cocks were inches from
each other. I said that mine was obviously the biggest, Bill's was next and
Peter's was smallest. I told Peter not to be worried since small penises
had a great advantage. Of course they both wanted to know what that was and
I acted like it was a big secret. They begged to know. I reached down and
took both of their penises into my hands. I told them to take hold of mine
and they did. They stared at their hands on my cock, then looked up at
me. Their eyes were shining. I told them that we were going to take a
special "penis oath" and that nobody could talk about it or our penises
would shrivel up and fall off. They laughed, since they knew this was
bullshit, but they swore anyway. I knelt in front of them and said, "Small
penises are best because they are easier to suck." Then I took Peter's dick
in my mouth. Oh, it was so sweet. I held his little ass and sucked, back
and forth, on that hard little dick. I let Peter touch my head and rub my
shoulders while I sucked him. After a while I turned to Bill and sucked his
little dick too. I told them to stand right in front of each other so their
dicks were touching, and when they did I sucked both of their dicks at
once, as best as I could. It was fucking amazing, I loved every minute of
it. My hands were rubbing their asses and their little cocks were in my
mouth. This went on for an hour, or so it seemed. Maybe it was more like
ten minutes. Then I stood up and waved my hard fucking cock in front of
their faces (I'm rock hard right now as I write this), and asked them to
suck me. Peter did immediately; Bill looked a little skeptical. I realized
that Peter had at some point already sucked cock, probably Bill's. Or maybe
his dad's. The very thought of Peter sucking his dad's big hairy dick made
me start cumming. I pulled out of Peter's mouth and directed my shots
downward, toward their stomachs and cocks. I showered their little hard
dicks with my hot cum, then sucked every bit of it right back off. "Now I'm
ready for a shower. How about you guys?" They silently got in the shower
with me and we soaped each other down, and washed each other off. We
toweled off, got dressed and walked out in silence, except for when I said
"See you guys next time."

They weren't there the next Saturday, but the weekend after that Peter
showed up by himself. He hung around me for most of the day and when I got
up to leave, he headed straight for the lifeguard locker room with me. I
didn't even have to ask. Inside, he immediately stripped off his pants and
started playing with his dick. I laughed and got naked, releasing my huge
hardon from my swim trunks. (I keep saying "huge" but my dick is really
normal size, it just feels enormous when it gets so damn hard). I sucked
Peter for a long time, then he sucked me to orgasm. We showered and got
dressed in silence again. Before we left, I asked him what happened to
Bill. Peter told me that Bill had stopped talking to him. I shrugged, but
inside I was afraid that Bill had reported me or something. I told Peter
that I'd take him home. He lived about two miles away, an easy drive in my
mom's car. He thanked me for the ride and said he would see me next
Saturday.

So every Saturday for that whole summer, I had a 9 year old boy sucking my
17 year old cock in the lifeguard's locker room. It was fucking
beautiful. There were a few amazing times where Peter and I went back to
either my house or Peter's house so we could fool around. And we never got
caught. I didn't see him after that, since I started my senior year at the
end of the summer and didn't go back for lifeguarding after that. To this
day I fantasize about Peter and Bill, and sometimes Peter and Bill and
Peter's dad.


IV. Karl.

In college I threw myself into the gay scene. I came out of the closet and
experienced the kind of stuff that queers usually do -- a lot of ignorance
and fear, a little hate, and enough support from other queers to keep me
alive. There were a few times that I thought coming out was a bad idea, but
for the most part I'm glad I did.

The first guy I had an actual relationship with was Karl, another freshman
like myself. He was a big guy with a huge cock, which felt like heaven when
it was deep in my ass. Karl would not let me fuck his ass, but we would
often suck each other. The only reason I include this bit about Karl is
because of his past. Like me, Karl had had a lot of experience with
boys. Karl told me that the kids in his neighborhood had formed a jackoff
club and that eventually he had sucked every boy in the club. Karl was kind
of the neighborhood bully and the neighborhood queer kid all at once. He
played rough and pushed some kids around, but he had also sucked the cock
of every male kid in his area. When he was older he became friends with a
teacher who eventually seduced him. The teacher was very passive sexually
and either wanted to suck Karl's cock or let Karl fuck his ass, which Karl
was happy to do.

It was great to get assfucked by Karl, then have him suck me dry, then lay
in bed and talk about our childhood experiences together. And that really
is where my story ends. Karl and I are sophomores at this college, still
fucking like wild dogs and still getting hard from our memories of
childhood. Though I never did tell him about me and my mom.