Date: Thu, 13 Sep 2007 23:57:32 -0600
From: M Cp <nspsmgbi@hotmail.com>
Subject: My Subbie Side Part 1

	I was exhausted, sticky, and used. I lay in her arms as she stroked
me softly, cooing in my ear as I slowly came back to myself. I cried
quietly with the pure emotional release of the experience. I felt my whole
body and mind slowly relax, melting into a puddle that no narcotic could
match. The day was a blur in my mind as I transitioned from my dreamlike
state into real dreams. I wouldn't remember half of it.
	I didn't need to. She had taped the entire thing.

	It had been several months of hard play before I began to feel the
strange urges in the back of my head. I had learned to recognize them long
ago, when I had somewhat of a psychological meltdown as a result of not
balancing my sadistic and dominant side. The results of that one were not
pretty, but I had done a whole lot of soul searching afterward, and learned
much about myself. I recognized that little tickle in the back of my head.
	I enjoyed the slow build of it, now that I recognized what it
was. My slut noticed my subtle changes in behavior and got a very bright
gleam in her eye. She definetly had a toppy side, and a sadistic streak
that I was much enjoying nurtuing and helping to develop. She rarely got to
explore it with me and was enjoying the experiences with others, though she
did not let herself go and let it out of the cage.
	This would be different. We knew each other well from long months
of very heavy and extended play. In the BDSM relationship one should
develop a high level of trust and comfort with the primary partner, as well
as others. She was the only one that I could trust to top me. We talked,
and I set a date for the next weekend.
	I trusted her, but I had also taught her well, mostly by
experience. I felt just the faintest flicker of anxiety as she let me know
in no uncertain terms that my ass was her bitch. She gave my balls a quick
tug and a squeeze hard enough to make me grunt before walking out the
door. She looked back once with an expression that made my stomach jump
just a bit. It looked good on her, to be sure, but it served to set the
mood for the rest of the week.

	We both sank into the unfamiliar roles throughout the week as we
talked. She was very good at turning the lessons that I had taught her as
my slut against me. She had an innate sense of just what buttons to push,
and knew just what I needed. I savored in the experience, letting it build,
fighting it just enough, letting my mind go and embracing it. I savored in
the anticipation and fear as she started to take me deeper and deeper.
	It was wednsday that She broke my flagging resistance. She walked
through the door, and without a word, pulled me from my chair and pushed me
down on my back on the floor. She straddled my face and flipped up her
skirt before squatting down and grinding her pussy into my face. She
garbbed the back of my head and barked orders. My face hurt from the
pressure and it was hard to get a breath as she fucked my face. She called
me her bitch and degraded me verbaly. I wimpered and strained to comply
with her instructions as She ground her cunt on my face to a screaming
orgasm. She had a filthy mouth, and it got me off. By the time she had
recovered from her cum, which was soaking me from eyebrow to chest, my cock
was rock hard and straining in my jeans.
	She saw it and ridiculed me for it, slapping my face as she did
so. I let go, and I was Hers. She saw and felt it in me, and stroked my
face. Good bitch. Good cunt. Good sissy. She cooed to me. She moved off me
and yanked my pants down roughly. I yelled out as Her hands wrapped around
my cock and balls and squeezed and pulled. I was wimpering and squirming,
almost begging, when she relaxed the pressure. I almost cried before her
mouth sunk down around the base of my cock and her tongue went to work. I
rocked my hips up to her face and brought my hands down to her head. She
bit down when she felt my hands touch her hair, and a quick slap to the
balls was more than enough to return my hands to my sides.
	She spent the next hour torturing me. She would bring me right up
to the edge of cumming, and stop cold, and sit back and watch as I
squirmed, and eventually begged to let me cum. Of course, She didn't. I
wasn't to cum unless specifically ordered to. She yanked my balld and cock
until the discomfort made me go soft, then sat on my face again. This time
she made me eat her ass as she rubbed herself to another orgasm on my
face. She got up, smoothed her skirt, reached down and slapped my balls
hard enough to make me want to puke, and left.
	By the time the feeling had dissipated enough for me to get back
about normal things, I was rock hard again, and aching. The thought didn't
even cross my mind to relieve myself, even though I probably could have
gotten away with it.

	The rest of the week passed in a haze. First I wore a tiny pair of
womens panties under my cloths at work. The nearly all day erection was
painful in the tiny, constraining material. I was verbally disciplined
after my appearance displeased her. I was hairless from mid thigh to belly
button before bedtime that night. Then, the panties with a cock ring and
stockings and a garter. I had to send Her photos from the bathroom stall at
work to prove that I was following Her instructions.
	I was degraded and humiliated for being such a sissy bitch. I
didn't know how I was going to keep from cumming. My balls ached with
need. I was in a total haze.
	Then came even more. I was made to suck a large, lifelike dildo at
my home computer desk as she watched and directed over a webcam. When I had
managed to thorooughly fuck my throat to her satisfaction, I lay my face
down in the puddle of spit and snot about the base of the fake cock and
recover. I had almost cum from it.
	Next, I was on the floor, knees spread wide and wiggling my now
smooth ass for the webcam. First it was my fingers. I was gritting my teeth
as I worked three fingers in my ass for her enjoyment. Then the plug. I
yelled out and squirmed as I shoved the thick bulb in my ass with one
shove. It hurt, and I didn't have time to adjust before I had to pull it
out again. My cock was in agony in the three, tight metal rings. After a
time, my poor ass became somewhat numb and the thick plug popped in and out
of my loosening ass in a way that was starting to send jolts through
me. She made me insert the plug and keep it there when she saw the puddle
of cock drool between my legs.
	I begged her, almost crying, to let me cum. She laughed and gave me
my instructions for the following day. I wimpered and crawled into bed,
dressed like a whore with a fat plug in my ass, and my cock throbbing in
the restrictions of the rings.
	My dreams were dark and filled with very bad things.

	It was agony to piss in the morning. I called Her and begged for
some relief, and She relented. I almost wept as I magaged to pull the
constricting rings from my cock and balls. The pain took several minutes to
fade, and a dull ache sunk in. I followed her instructions and laid on my
back in the tub and pissed myself before showering. I almost came as I slid
the plug from my ass. I felt empty and loose. My aching cock stayed half
hard, and I didn't even think of touching it more than just the cleaning
ordered.
	I put my sissy cloths in the laundry and went shopping for the
items I had been instructed to buy and use. Several hours later and I
looked at the things laid out as directed. My balls ached as my half hard
cock swayed as I walked with the one item into the bathroom. The sensation
of my first real enema, and the results were most interesting. Before long
I was clean as a whistle and in a haze of something I couldn't really
identify.
	I hummed as I dressed in a corset, garter, stockings, and heels,
and applied the red lipstick and black eyeshadow. I did a shitty job, but I
didn't care. I finished, and went to my designated place. And waited.

	"Well, aren't you a good little sissy cunt?" she said as she closed
the door behind her. I kept my eyes on the floor and nodded, not eable to
resist wiggling my ass just a litle bit. I could feel the smile on her face
as she took the collar and leash from my outstretched hands.
	"Do you know what you have gotten yourself into, bitch?" She asked
me as she walked slowly around me, stopping directly behind me. I watched
her shiny leather boots from the corner of my eye. I nodded. "I don't think
you do." She said before placing the spike heel of her boot on the back of
my neck and pushing. I went to my hands and knees. The sole of her boot
pressed against the back of my head and I gasped as she ground her foot
into my neck.
	"Get your face on the floor, cunt!" she barked. I did so. The
pressure on my neck increased briefly then was released. The toe of her
boot was shoved against my lips. "Lick my boots you fucking slut." She
ordered. I complied. My cock was in pain, restrained in the gates of hell
and tied back between my legs. She slapped my thighs hard and I spread them
wide. She shoved the tip of her boot in my mouth long enough for drool to
start running from my stretched open mouth, then relented. With a hard
smack against the base of the new, longer, larger plug in my cunt that made
me yelp, she fastened the thick posture collar around my neck and cinched
it tight. She ground her boot on the back of my neck again briefly before
slapping my ass several times, hard. She barked out her orders.
	I shufled backwards, legs spread painfully wide, elbows and palms
on the floor, ass high in the air into the other room. I only lifted my
head long enough to grasp the item in my teeth, before turning around and
shuffling back to her to present her with the profferred item. It took
three trips to bring the items. I was shaking, almost limp with my total
submission by then. She read me well, and allowed me to slide the rest of
the way to the floor as the blindfold was cinched around my face. I was
given a few minutes to just puddle before her boot was again placed at my
mouth. It was a few minutes more before I was able to move enouh to
properly lick her boots. The pain in my cock felt right. The taste of
leather was delicious.
	I heaved great, deep breaths as she fastened the leash to the gates
and pulled it between my legs. I drooled around the shaft of the crop that
I held between my teeth. I dropped it as I yelled out as she yanked the
chain of the leash with sudden, hard tension. I groaned and gasped at the
pain and wimpered at the sudden hard slaps as I was punished for dropping
the crop. I had to strain forward even further to pick it back up with my
teeth.
	"Heel, bitch." She said, and proceeded to drag me around the
apartment backwards by the balls. I was slapped if I wasn't fast enough. I
was humiliated and degraded at all times. I was almost hyperventilating
when she read me right and gave me respite. The crop was removed from my
mouth and replaced with the end of the leash, the metal links cold against
the crack of my plug filled ass, and holding a delicious tension.
	I squirmed and wimpered as I was punished with fast and stinging
blows from the crop for my inability to follow her directions to the
letter. She had certainly learned, by example, all the most sensitive,
unexpected, and painful spots in which to hurt a person. Had I been
anything more than a mess of owned, willing flesh at that point, I would
have been proud. As it was, I cried and tried to scrabmle away from the
blows. It did little but spur her on.
	She left me a quivering, gasping heap for several minutes. I became
aware that she was near, and waiting for me. She saw that I was back enough
and told bitch to come to her. Bitch did so.
	The leash was unclipped and bitches panties were taken off. Bitches
cock stuck out painfully in the Gates of hell below the sheer black of the
corset and garters. She quickly cuffed my wrists and ankles together behind
my back and yanked my nipple rings. I shufled forward as fast as humanly
possible until I bumped up against the couch, and she let go. She wasted no
time in grabbing my head and mashing it into the leather of the strapon
harness I had been instructed to purchase, and the amazingly fleshlike
shaft and balls of the large lifelike cock of the same origon. "Worship my
cock you sissy cunt. Show me that you are sorth something." she hissed at
me. I wimpered and gritted my eyes closed behind the blindfold, but I did
as she ordered.
	My uncertainty and hesitation evaporated as I worked my mouth all
over the lifelike shaft and balls of the expensive prosthetic. I thoroughly
began to enjoy myself. "Thats enough you fucking little cock teasing
bitch", she hissed. "Get youf fucking mouth on my cock and start sucking!"
I wrapped my lips around the mushroom head of the dildo and slowly slid
down until it poked at the back of my throat. I worked my tongue along the
shaft and slid back up. It popped out of my mouth and I gasped. I had
wondered about sucking cock before, and it felt so very, very good. I
eagerly set about giving her cock the best blowjob I could manage. In no
time, her thighs, the harness, and the seat of the couch were wet with my
saliva. She kept up a continuous litany of insults and humiliation that
just inspired me. I was loving it, and from her feel, smell, and sounds,
she was too.
	Without warning she grabbed me by the back of the head and shoved
my face down. My nose mashed into the harness and the head of the cock
pushed a few inches down my throat. I heaved and gagged and jerked back. I
struggled not to puke, breathing hard for a moment before she started
slapping my face with the wet dildo.
	"No wonder you like that bitch. Its hot ramming your cock down a
bitches throat. I think its time to fuck your face till I cum." She shoved
the tip of the cock between my lips and pushed my head down, slower this
time, until I struggled to maintain my composure with several inches of
thick, fake cock buried in my throat. She worked me slowly for several
minutes until I became able to slide my mouth from tip to base without fear
of loosing my lunch in her lap. She was moaning and rocking her hips in
time, mashing my face hard and forcing the cock down my throat as far as it
could possibly go. She started to curse to herself and increasted the pace
rapidly. I could do nothing but open wide and endure as she started to fuck
my face with speed and force.
	The feel of the cock hammering in and out of my throat, the
squishing, sloppy, gagging noises I made, and the jolts it sent through my
stomach gave me a brief moment of clarity in which I realized that I would
be doing this for real in the future. As she stood and proceeded to really
fuck and grind her running pussy against the base of the dildo, and thereby
fucking my throat quite thoroughly, I realized something humiliating. She
screamed and gasped and rammed my face against her hard enough to hurt as
she came. I struggled to breathe and to hold back.  When she released her
grip on the back of my head slightly I threw myself backwards and rolled,
restrained on my side, gasping and struggling.
	"What the fuck are you doing cunt? Im not done fucking your face!"
She stepped over me as I gasped and strained. I managed to croak out "You
haven't given me permission to cum, Mistress." It turned into a whine. "Im
trying not to, I promise!" I heard the realization in her voice.
	"You were going to cum from sucking cock?!? Oh, you filthy,
worthless, fucking cunt!" I squirmed for the next few minutes as she
brutally humiliated me for my obvious lust for sucking her cock. I was
prett far gone, and in that state, just the humiliation nearly made me
empty my balls. "This is something that I have to see." She said before
unhooking the restraints.  She rolled me on my back and tilted my head
back. I blinked as she ripped off the blindfold and when my vision cleared
I saw her lust filled evil eyes above the long and spit dripping lifelike
cock poised just above my face.
	"Don't you dare move, and don't you dare shoot your sissy cum." she
barked before shoving the cock in my mouth and down my throat. With the
angle she could slide it all the way in and out with no resistance. I could
see and feel the spit that she plunged out of my throat with the cock, and
her own cum was literally running down the insides of her thighs. I
struggled for as long as I could not to cum as my throat was used as a
pussy. She said "Im going to shoot my hot fucking cum straight into your
slut belly." Before she had finished the statement I gargled around the
thrusting cock and my whole body thrashed, and I came, and came hard.
	After several tearing spasms I wimpered and nursed at the head of
the fake cock in my mouth. I could feel the thick ropes of cum quickly
cooling on my neck and belly. She moved away from my head and I just panted
as I looked up at her. There were several ropes of cum on her even, I had
cum that hard and that much. She scooped up a few fingers worth and sucked
them into her mouth. "Tastes like bitch." She said, and spent the next
several minutes scooping up every little bit of my cum and feeding it to
me, and humiliating me. I couldn't deny that it tasted good.

When She had fed me every bit of my cum she could scoop off of my body, She
got to her feet and took me over and bade me lie at the base of the
couch. I was first fed some chocolate and Gatorade, which I was much
thankful for, before she laid her boots across my back and enjoyed a drink
while flipping through the channels. I just closed my eyes and panted,
reveling in the sense of release. I hoped there was more to come, and I
figured there was. I both wanted and needed more.

	I had taken her to the edge and beyond several times. We knew each
other well. She had been mostly topped from the bottom in these rare
situations, and had taken the information from those sessions to heart. She
had read me right so far, and I was reaching the peak, the edge, that
certain place that was the opposite side of the coin from the other side
that I usually rode. It was delicious. I had thoroughly relaxed and puddled
up by the time She moved. Much longer and I would have lost it, but again,
she gauged right. Or had timed it right. Either way, the night was going to
get interesting. I knew that because she told me so.


Please email me at nspsmgbi@hotmail.com