Date: Fri, 25 Feb 2005 15:04:33 -0800 (PST)
From: Sin Titulo <sintitulo2@yahoo.com>
Subject: Past and Present

Past and Present
by
Sin Titulo


	When ever I think of my past life as an unthinking
heterosexual man, I could kick myself for my
stupidity.  I grew up believing the path to happiness
in life was the same one my parents had taken.
Somehow I over looked their constant fighting and
multiple divorces, the sneaking around on each other,
and finally, the beatings my father inflicted on us
all when he was drunk.  Actually he never had to be
all that drunk to ball up his fist and whallop one or
all of us just because he must have hated his life.
	But like all unthinking men, I let my highschool
girlfriend get herself pregnant, and then trap me into
an early marriage because I needed to believe myself a
responsible upstanding citizen.  Instead of going on
to college, I took a job working in a gas station, and
started learning the trade of mechanic from one of the
old timers that worked there.  The baby came in March,
and of course Margie, decided she had to stay home to
take care of it.  The wages I brought home from my
job, were never enough, and from the beginning, we
fought over money primarily, but also sex.  I never
seemed to get enough to keep me satisfied.
	Things went along like this until Mikey was three
years old.  I'd been finally put into a mechanic's
position at the station, but the pay still wasn't that
great.  I was beginning to think about trying to
borrow the money to set up my own little shop
somewhere and go into business for myself.  My
teacher, Old Ralph, told me it was the only way I'd
ever get ahead.  I tried to talk him into joining me,
but he said he was too old to be starting a new
business.  I finally talked my uncle into putting up
the funds to back me, and I opend the J & C garage in
an old abandoned gas station near an exit ramp off the
highway.  I named the place after my Aunt and Uncle
because they had helped me out.
	At first, business was slow, but soon enough, the
traffic off the highway began to take notice.  My
first real job was a woman who pulled off with her
engine smoking.  I had to rebuild her engine but got
her car back on the road running smoothly in a week's
time.  Her referrals, were what put my business on the
map in the little town where we lived.
	By the time Mikey was seven, Margie had yet to think
it neccessary to get out of the house and find a job.
Money was still in short supply, but improving, until
I hurt my hand when a jack let go and about a hundred
pounds of steel landed on it.  I was alone in the shop
at the time, and decided to lock up and get myself to
the hospital.  After the doctor had checked out the
hand, and Xrayed it to find two broken bones   He put
it in a cast, and gave me a prescription for pain
pills, and told me I'd have to live with the pain
until it healed.   I was essentially out of business
while it healed.  Depressed, I headed home a little
after three in the afternoon.
	When I got to the block our house was on, I saw a
black Ford I recognised as belonging to an old
highschool buddy parked in our driveway.  I wondered
what he was doing at my house if he wanted to see me,
since he knew I should be at work.  It occured to me
that he had stopped by the shop and found it locked up
while I was at the hospital, and had come here since
he knew where we lived.  I parked behind him, and got
out.  The front door was unlocked, so I must not have
made enough noise when I went in.  I heard Margie
going through her sex noise routine, and knew
something was up.  I tiptoed down the hall, and peeked
around the jam of the open bedroom door.
	What I saw didn't really shock me much, but it did
hurt a bit.  Margie was face down on the bed, with her
butt in the air, and dickhead, my old highschool bud,
was fucking her in the ass.  I figured they had been
doing this for a while, because when a guy fucks a
broad in the ass, it's because she is afreaid of
getting pregnant, and that way it's impossible.
Dickhead was bent over her body, pulling hard on her
floppy tits.  I waited until he was in the middle of
his climax, and then cleared my throat.  The scene
that played out was funny really, but neither he or
she thought it so.  When his shit stained cock pulled
out and was still squirting cum, he collapsed on the
bed, trying to hide his dick for some reason.  Margie
screamed that I was supposed to be at work, and
started grabbing for her robe which was wadded up on
the floor beside the bed.  The bitch hadn't bothered
to ever get dressed that day.  I just turned on my
heels and marched out of the house.
	I waited until Saturday when I knew her mother would
have picked her and Mikey up to take them to the mall
for lunch.  I slipped into the filthy house, and
gathered my clothes, and a few things I considered
exclusively mine, and left for good.  I took a room in
the next town over with a man who had an ad pinned to
the cork board at the Safeway store.  He let me have
the place with cooking privlidges for thirty bucks a
week.  I explained the situation about my wife, and my
hand, and told him, I didn't have a lot of savings to
fall back on, but that as soon as I could get back to
work, I'd pay him ontime and in full every week.  One
thing I wasn't, was a deadbeat.
	"That's alright son," he said.  "There might be other
ways to pay the rent.  I'm retired, and don't really
need the thirty bucks, but I do get lonely for human
conversation now and then."  We hit it off right away,
and he was fun to talk to.  His name was Erin, and was
Irish to the core.  His once red hair, was fading to
gray, but he took care of himself and often we went
for long rapid walks along country roads while my hand
healed.
	On one of these walks, he seemed to be willing to
talk about his past a little, and I asked him about
his wife.  He beat around the bush for a while, but
finally he kicked a clod of dirt on the side of the
road, and stopped. He looked at me with a steady gaze,
and then started walking again.
	"I never had a wife.  I wasn't interested in women."
We walked in silence for a while then he spoke again.
	"My philosophy goes something like this. . .Men and
women were designed to reproduce the species, which
they do admirably, if you are a typical example."  I
ducked my head at the compliment.  "However, I don't
believe the two sexes should ever live together for
more than sex.  There's something in a woman's makeup
that makes her ultimately disagreeable to a man.  Your
own experience is a good example.  Men are wired to
have multiple sex partners, but women have to pay the
price of children.  So if a woman wants to have
different sex partners, she is either on the pill, has
had her tubes tied, or takes cock up the ass, which by
the way isn't such a bad experience if I do say so
myself.  Maybe you guessed, I'm one of those queers
you hear so much about."  It had never occured to me
he was queer, and I told him so.
	"Well, one has to live his real life in the dark in
this neck of the woods.  When I wanted sex, I had to
go to the city.  I had some good times there, I knew
it would never do to bring it here, but now that I've
retired, I don't give a shit what people think.  I've
been thinking of ways to get a younger man to move
into my house with me, that might be a homosexual as
well.  Oh I know you're not, but I've been advertising
that room for several months and you were the first to
ever call about it.  I decided to let you have it
because your wife and your accident both cut you such
a raw deal."  We finished our walk, and got back into
his car.
	I asked him to swing by my shop so I could check mail
and see that everything was in good shape.  When I
opened the door to the office, there was a fat
envelope on the floor, shoved through the mil slot.
It bore the address of an attorney in town, and when I
opened them, I saw they were divorce papers.  I looked
them over, and asked Erin if he had a pen in his
pocket, and signed them on the spot.  I stuffed them
back into the envelope, and he drove me to the
attorney's office, and I dropped them through his mail
slot because he was closed for the weekend.  I walked
back to the car feeling like a huge weight had been
lifted off my shoulders.
	"You want to celebrate?"  Erin grinned at me.
	"Doing what?"
	"Well, we could get roaring drunk on some good Irish
whiskey I've got stashed away for a special
occassion."
	"Hell yes!  Sounds like a plan to me.  Let's go."  We
got right to it once we got back to his house.  About
half way through the bottle, Erin started talking
about how long it had been since he'd had sex with
anything but his hand, and I told him it had been
nearly that long for me as well.
	"Man are your balls as blue as mine?"  I choked on a
swallow of his whiskey, and laughed.
	"Fuck yeah.  I've been jerking off nearly every night
since I've been living with you."
	"Really?  I have to admit that I have too, since you
moved in anyway.  You make me so horny I can't help
myself."
	"That so?" I took it as a compliment that he was
pointing out how horny I made him.
	"It is.  You think there's ever going to be a way we
might. . . you know. . .?"
	"What?  Do something together?"  He nodded.  I could
feel he was trying to be cautious, but the whiskey had
loosened his libido as much as it had loosened mine.
	"Have you ever had a gay experience?  They say most
men have at one time or another."  I thought about the
time Tommy C. and I had jerked each other off in the
fifth grade.
	"I guess you could say I have."  I told him of the
incident, and he grinned.
	"Sounds like my first experience.  Except with me it
was my older brother, and he wanted me to do more than
just jerk his cock."
	"Like what?"  I was curious all of a sudden.
	"Well, we did do just that for a while, you know,
just jerking him off, but one day, he wanted me to
suck it for him.  He wouldn't take no for an answer,
and he was four years older than me, and a lot
stronger.  So I sucked his dick, and he came in my
mouth.  I decided it wasn't so bad, and secretly had
liked it a lot."  He took a sip of his whiskey, and
set the glass on the coffee table.
	"It only took a few weeks of sucking him when ever he
wanted it done, to moving up to the next level.  He
asked me to sleep with him one night when our parents
were away for a family wedding, and wouldn't be home
for a few days.  I got into his bed, and he started
feeling my body all over.  He told me he wanted to
practice kissing techniques on me that he could use on
girls to get a piece of ass with.  Well, needless to
say, we both got hard instantly.  At first, he said he
just wanted a blow job, but before he could cum in my
mouth, he told me to stop, and rolled me over on my
stomach, and got on my back.  He was trying to put his
dick in my hole, but it hurt too much.  It was
exciting to both of us, but I couldn't stand the pain,
so we stopped.'
	"The next afternoon, he called me into his room and
told me to strip.  He'd talked to some of his friends
about ass fucking, and had gained the knowledge of
lube being necessary.  He had a squeeze bottle of hand
cream he'd taken from our parent's bathroom.  He
rolled me over and squirted some on my crack.  He
worked it in with his fingers, and then peeled out of
his pants.  His dick was about five inches at the
time, and putting it up me hurt like hell, but this
time we got it in.  He came too quickly for me to feel
any pleasure from it, but I knew when it was over that
it was what I preferred.
	"Until our parents returned, he fucked me a dozen
times at least.  Each time was a little better, but he
still couldn't control his ejaculation time.  I wasn't
getting as much from it as he was, because when he
finished, he'd lose interest in the act, leaving me to
beat off on my own.  It was several years before I got
the opportunity to have anal sex again.  I was sent
away to summer camp one year, so my parents could go
on a vacation together.  My brother was working at his
first job to earn money to go to school with in the
fall, and so I was sent to camp.'
	"Camp something or other Wigwam, up in the mountains.
 There I was introduced to Paul, an older boy hired to
be our cabin supervisor.  There were eight boys in our
cabin, but Paul took a liking to me.  We would do
things together, swim, fish, or just hike in the
woods.  On one of our hikes, he started asking me if
I'd ever had any sexual experiences.  I knew enough by
then to keep quiet about my brother, so I made up a
story about doing it with a girl that lived on my
block in the city.  He didn't say anything at first,
but after a while after listening to my detailed
description of the act, he punched me on the arm, and
laughed.'
	"Couldn't have happened sport.  Cunts don't go
sideways."  He laughed again, and asked me if I wanted
to hear about his sexual experiences that he promised
would be true.  I said yes, and he found us a quiet
hidden spot in the woods behind a felled tree, and
proceeded to tell me about how many times he'd been
fucked in the ass by his next door neighbor, who was a
grown man, and married besides.'
	"His telling of it made me want to tell him about my
brother.  When I did, he told me that a lot of guys
fucked their little brothers as their first
experience.  I asked him if the guy that fucked him
had a big dick, and he said that he did.  He held up
his fingers to indicate about seven inches.  He made a
ring with his thumb and forefinger that didn't quite
close.  I couldn't believe he'd taken something that
big up his butthole.'
	"Well he and I eventually got down to trying it with
each other.  He was my first piece of ass, and I loved
it.  When he fucked me with his six inch cock, he was
able to last until I came first.  I loved the feeling
of his cock thrusting in my hole while I was spewing
cum  in all directions.'
	Later in the Summer, I heard a rumor that one of the
adult councelors was gay, and plucking up my courage,
I went to him to talk, I asked him if I could see his
cock get hard.  He was shocked that me, a kid in his
eyes, would ask such a thing, and when he balked, I
started feeling him up.  He tried to push my hands
away, but I was determined, and he soon enough got
hard for me.  Once it was hard, I offered to suck it
for him, and I guess by that time, he was in need,
because he let me.  I'd never seen an adult cock hard
before, and thought it was the biggest thing I'd ever
seen.  I wondered how Paul had ever gotten a thing
that big up his hole without being split in two.'
	I sucked the councelor a few times, and one day, saw
him walking in the woods alone.  I followed him
secretly, and watched him go to the same fallen tree
Paul and I used.  He didn't know I was watching, when
he stripped off all his clothes, and lay down on the
grass, and started stroking his big dick.  I wanted to
suck him again, so I pretended to stumble onto his
hiding place.  I think I scared the shit out of him
because he wilted.  When he saw it was me, he started
to breathe again, and stroke his dick.  Soon enough it
was back in working order.  He told me to strip, and
when I did, he motioed me to stand astride his body.
He pulled a tube of something out of his pants pocket,
and squeezed some on his fingers.  He told me to squat
a little, and he began tro work the lube into my hole.
 When he had me good and greased up. he took hold of
my hips, and lowered me onto his standing cock.  When
the head touched my hole, I let out a moan, and he
thrust up into me.  I cried out, and he clamped a hand
over my mouth, and proceeded to stuff my hole all the
way down to his balls.  My expression of pain must
have changed, because he took his hand away, and asked
me how it felt.  I answered by starting to pump myself
up on his cock.  He rolled me over onto my back in the
grass, and proceeded to fuck me like a champ.  I was
sore for a week from the size of his cock, but I
couldn't get enough of it either.  We were in the
woods as often as he could get away from his duties.
When he couldn't, it was Paul and me fucking like
rabbits often several times a day.  Paul could cum
five or six times a day, and often needed me to take
his loads.  The councelor, whose name was Dave, and I
were able to get together several times a week, and
even after camp was over, I got his office address,
and I'd ride the bus to have him on his lunch hour,
when his secretary was out to her lunch.  He fucked me
regularly for several years, until I got old enough to
go away to school.'
	"There was lots of cock in college, but I won't bore
you with a blow by blow.  I see I've made you a bit
uncomfortable with my story."  He had, my cock was
hard as a piston in my pants.  He grinned at me, and
laid his hand over it.  I felt it throb under his
touch.
	"You want to put that where it will do both of us
some good?"  He squeezed me harder.
	"I've never done anything like that before."
	"That's OK.  I'll show you the ropes and we can go as
slow as you like, but I would like to have that nice
piece of meat up my ass tonight.  I can't bare another
night of jacking off over you."  I shrugged, which he
took for a yes.  He stood up a little unsteady from
the whiskey, and pulled me up beside him.  He held my
hand, and semi dragged me to his bedroom.  Before I
knew what was happening because of the whiskey fog in
my mind, he had us both naked and on the bed together.
 He was stroking my body all over, and causing me to
throb with passion.  He leaned over my stomach, and
took my cock head into his mouth.  I shivered with the
feeling.  He didn't actually suck my dick, but rather
just let it soak in his hot mouth for a while.  When
he came up off me, he rolled over on his back and told
me to get between his legs.  I was in the position to
put my shaft into his hole, and began to poke at him a
little.  He took a gob of spit and smeared it over my
cockhead, and then pulled on my hips.  I got the
message and pushed into him.  He seemed loose at
first, like he'd lost muscle strength down there, but
after I was in deep, he tightened up, and I gasped at
the sensation.  I started fucking him slowly, afraid
I'd hurt him.  After a minute of this, he whispered in
my ear that I couldn't hurt him, and I should just
relax and do it the way I felt like doing it.
	By the time a was ready to cum, he was moaning and
clawing my back.  I'd never imagined sex could be this
exciting.  He had his hardon in his fist, and was
jerking to beat the band, and groaning that he wanted
to cum with me.  I told him it was close and he nodded
with his eyes squeezed tightly shut.  I felt the first
slug of cum boil up out of my nuts, and grunted it was
going to happen.  He moaned once more, and began to
shoot his load between us.  I filled his hole with
everything I had, and collapsed on his chest.  He was
still blowing cum between us, and I could feel his big
Irish cock throbbing against my belly.  I felt good
about it, that I'd given this man pleasure, and he had
done the same for me.  My mind couldn't help but
contrast this sex with what I'd experienced with my
wife.  She basically would just lay beneith me and let
me get off in her cunt.  When I was finished, she
would go wash herself out with a syringe of soapy
water.  I was usually asleep by the time she got back
in bed.
	Erin and I lay there and rubbed and stroked each
other for what seemed like hours.  We were beginning
to sober up some, when we both realized we were ready
to go again.  He wanted to suck my cock for me this
time, and I lay on the pile of pillows and watched him
bobbing on my stiffness until I came again.  He
swallowed my cum, and then I decided I wanted to do
the same for him.  It took some coaching, after all it
was my first blow job, but when he finally came it was
another gusher.  After that, we drifted off to sleep,
but the next morning, after he served me coffee in
bed, he told me he wanted to fuck my hole.  I figured
fair is fair, and when he had cum inside me, I knew
that this would be the new me.
	We've been together for over a year now, and the sex
is still great and frequent.  There are days, when he
stops by the garage and we close it for lunch, and he
does me in the toilet, or I do him.  He's as sexy as I
am, and we seem to need each other at least twice on a
slow day.  Some Sundays, we never get tired of each
other in bed all day.  He loves to talk to me about
sex with other guys joining us, but it hasn't happened
yet.  He's worried I might be jealous or something.
I've planned a surprise for his next birthday.  I've
found a guy I like, kind of, who has agreed to fuck us
both tied up on the bed.  One of Erin's fantasies.
I'm supposed to tie him up and blindfold him so he
can't see who it is, and then the guy, who happens to
be a teacher at the community college, will tie me up
next to him.  Both our buttholes will be his for the
rest of the night.  It seems that is his fantasy, to
have two men at his cock's mercy for as long as he can
stand it.  I know Erin will love his gift.

email: sintitulo2@yahoo.com