Date: Wed, 20 Apr 2005 20:37:30 -0500
From: Herb Cat <herb_cat@lycos.com>
Subject: The TV Show Pilot

Disclaimer: Do not continue reading if you are under 18 years old, or you
are offended by portrayals of male to male sex or public sexual displays,
or the laws in your state or county forbid this type of material.

Copyright 2005 by the author. Do not reproduce or distribute this story
without the author's permission.

Names, characters, locations and incidents are fictional. Any resemblance
to actual events or locales, situations, or persons, living or dead, is
entirely coincidental.

The TV Show Pilot

All I knew when I got to the studio is that it was some sort of contest, I
could win $1500, and it was going to be taped as a pilot for a porn cable
network.

The studio was filled with hunky technicians, setting up cameras, lights,
and audio equipment, and a few female assistants busying themselves. I was
directed over to a guy in a suit and introduced myself.

"OK, you're the contestant then. We're going to call you Ulysses on the
show. OK? The scout said you had a halfway decent body. Let's take a look."
I stripped down and Mr. Suit looked me over, front and back. "OK, not bad,
now gimme a boner." I looked around at all the people in the room, gulped,
and then grabbed my dick and began working it up to its full size. "OK,
that's good, you can relax now. You can go through that door, put your
clothes in a locker, take a shower and then report to wardrobe."

I felt a little self-conscious parading around the place au naturel but
noone seemed to think it was out of the ordinary. In fact, the women seemed
to be ignoring me. I did get a couple of ogles from some of the
technicians, which made me feel good.

All washed and dried, naked and squeaky clean I went in search of the
wardrobe department and found Maxine. She fitted me with a nice tight red
string bikini, a plaid flannel shirt missing both sleeves and buttons, some
torn denims, and work boots. She explained I was supposed to look like a
lumberjack. Yeah right, I thought, a lumberjack named Ulysses.

When she decided I looked the part, she led me over to Lisa, the show's
host. "Hi, Ulysses. You know what to do, right?"

"Well, no, actually. I haven't a fuckin idea what I'm supposed to do."

"You mean no one explained the game to you? Shit!" She took me over to the
set. "Look, see that fellow there in the button down shirt and khakis?" I
nodded. He was one handsome son-of-a-bitch, about 6'1", 180, black hair,
cleanshaven. His clothes couldn't disguise his gorgeous pecs, and wondrous
arms. The khakis which Maxine must have chosen for him were tight enough to
show an ample package. "OK, he's Phillip. He's the mystery man for this
episode. All you know about him is that he loves threeways. What you don't
know is whether he's gay, straight, or bi. If you can figure that out by
the end of the show, you win yourself $1500. OK?"

"Hmm, OK. What am I allowed to do to find out?"

"Well, you can't ask him any questions. You got to judge solely by his
reactions to your tests."

"Tests?"

"Yes, there will be three rounds. Over there on that bed are your
assistants, Jack, Jill and Tammy." I looked and saw a good looking young
threesome, he in bright red silk pajama bottoms and the girls in matching
silk teddies. They were just sitting on the bed having a drink while the
makeup man was finishing their faces. "Jack, Jill and Tammy will be
regulars on the show. The audience knows these three love sex, especially
group sex, in all combinations, genderwise. You will be using them to test
Phillip's reactions."

"Using them how."

"You can set up groupings for Phillip to watch, or for him to participate
in. You can participate too if you want. It's up to you. Do whatever you
can to win the money." Lisa explained the different rules for the three
rounds. "Now, you're going to have to get your makeup on. Good luck."

I sat down on a stool to get my face and glanced over at the rest of the
cast: Lisa, an attractive smile, but she was the host, all business. She
wasn't going to give me any help at all. She was just going to stand around
and watch the proceedings in her pink blouse and gray miniskirt and offer
commentary. Phillip, the mystery man, at this moment was reading a
newspaper, relaxed. I couldn't detect any reactions as different
technicians and assistants, male and female, came around him. Then the
threesome in their pjs. Now that they were done with makeup I could see
them starting to play around, petting and fondling each other. I could see
they were ready and willing to do whatever I might ask them.

The key grip gave a two minute warning, and I was placed on the
contestant's stool next to Lisa. We waited for the countdown.

"Good evening, and welcome to another episode of Menage a Trois." Another
episode, I thought, shit, this is a pilot, the only episode. "Tonight we
will watch Ulysses here as he goes for the big prize. Ulysses, you're a
good looking, strong young man. What do you do for a living?"

"Uhm, I'm a lumberjack, Lisa."

"Oooh, that's hot. You ever been in a threeway, Ulysses?"

"Oh yeah, lots of times," I answered honestly. Suddenly, I heard some
canned audience laughter.

"Well, as you know, Ulysses, that's what this contest is all about. Let's
meet your assistants. Here's Jack." Jack bounded center stage as an
invisible audience applauded.  "And Jill." Jill skipped in and gave Jack a
big kiss on his cheek while petting his nipple.  "And Tammy." Tammy slunk
in behind Jack and sensuously ran her hand down to his crotch, while he
closed his eyes and sighed softly. After the applause was turned down, the
three of them came over to me and began pawing at my shirt and pants. More
laughter. "Now, now, kids, there'll be plenty of time for that later," Jill
admonished them kiddingly. The three left us and headed for the bed.

"Now let's meet tonight's mystery guest." A curtain opened and Phillip
stood in all his handsomeness. "Phillip is 32, and from Los Angeles. He's a
loan counselor at a major bank, and loves scuba diving, jazz music, and
racquetball." I didn't know how much of this was made up. After all, I sure
as shit was no lumberjack. Phillip came over and sat in a comfortable
recliner facing the bed. "Phillip was asked by our producers his sexual
orientation and his answer is sealed in this envelope. OK, it's up to you
now, Ulysses, to decide is Phillip gay, straight or bi. In round one,
Phillip will remain seated. You and your assistants cannot touch him. OK,
let's begin it's Menage a Trois!" She said with a flourish.

Well, I thought, what the hell, here goes nothing. "Tammy, come over and do
a nice strip for Phillip here." Some sultry music was turned on and Tammy
paraded over, looked at the mystery man and pursed her lips. Then slowly,
she slipped her teddy down and fondled her breasts in front of him. Phillip
sat there and grinned, but I didn't detect any arousal.

"Thank you, Tammy," I said to the naked brunette, "go back to the bed now
and play with Jill while Jack, you, come over here and let Phillip get a
look at you." I was starting to enjoy this role as puppeteer. Jack came and
while heavy metal was blaring, he assumed some erotic muscle poses. I
watched Phillip's eyes. I wanted to see if his concentration on Jack was
broken by what was happening on the bed with the two girls. I was pleased
to see that Phillip seemed totally fixated on Jack's pulsating abs. "Let
Phillip see your ass, Jack."  Jack turned his back to Phillip, slipped his
thumbs into his waistband and slowly revealed his two tight buns. I stared
at Phillip and thought for just a moment I saw him cricking his neck like
he wanted to see Jack's package.

"Jack, I can't help myself. I don't know about Phil boy here, but you're
turning me on." It was true, I was getting hard looking at this muscular
hunk, but I had ulterior motives for what I did next. I went over to Jack
and knelt down in front of him. I turned him slightly so that I could watch
Phillip and I pulled his pjs down and told him to step out of them. Then I
began licking Jack's tool. Lisa got all excited and made some blathering
commentary about my bj skills. But I was concentrating on Phillip's
reaction to my move. I could swear I saw his mouth water, and wondered how
long he'd be able to keep himself glued to that chair.

Jack's dick sprang up to a respectable 8 inches and I began tonguing the
head. With both hands I massaged his glutes in front of poor Phillip. Jack
was moaning. I had no idea what the girls were doing at this point, but I
heard a lot of giggling and oohing and aahing, and I know at least one
camera was trained on them. But I was quite sure Phillip wasn't watching
them either. A gong suddenly rang and Lisa announced that it was the end of
round one. "We'll be right back after this word from our sponsor. It's
Menage a Trois!"

Of course, there was no word from any sponsor. This was a pilot they were
shooting. But it was time for everyone to take a break and cool down a
little. Jack was handed a cumrag to wipe his precum and my saliva off his
tool. Before I stood up, he patted my head and said, "Well done." He then
slipped his pj bottoms back on. Lisa said I was doing just fine. The makeup
people came in and touched everyone up.

"And we're back. In round one, Ulysses here came up with some great tests
for our mystery man Phillip. Ulysses, what do you think so far? Do you
think you know Phillip's orientation yet?"

"Well, Lisa, I'm getting a pretty good idea. But I'm not ready to make a
final decision yet."

"Well, OK, Ulysses. We've taken away the recliner. In round two, Phillip
will be standing.  Also, Ulysses, you must dismiss one of your
assistants. You and your other two assistants can touch Phillip, and
encourage him. You can have him watch some one-on-one sex, but the Menage a
Trois must wait for the final round. OK, Ulysses, who do you wish to go."

"Tammy." I said. Tammy put on a pouty face.

"And why did you choose to keep Jack and Jill, Ulysses?"

"Well, I kept Jack because I'm pretty sure Phillip is either gay or bi and
therefore would not want a threeway with two girls. And besides, I wanted
to get another taste of Jack's pecker." I grinned and there was more canned
laughter. "And I decided to keep Jill for now, because I've already
observed Phillip's reaction to Tammy."

"Well, I see how you're thinking, Ulysses. OK, let's begin round two. It's
Menage a Trois."

"Jack and Jill, Phillip looks a little overdressed, don't you think?" They
both nodded. "Let's help him out of his clothes." My two assistants came
over and Jack stood behind Phillip, reached his arms around, and began
unbuttoning his shirt. Jill knelt down and began unbuckling his belt and
waistband. I noticed that Phillip looked up and over his shoulder toward
Jack, but did not acknowledge Jill working on his crotch. "Hold it,
Jill. I'd rather let Jack undress Phillip and you undress me." I really
didn't give a shit about Jill, but I wanted to see Phillip's reaction with
Jack alone. Jill stood up and slipped my shirt off me. Then went to work on
my pants. By now, Jack had removed Phillip's button down revealing a tight
gray wifebeater. Jack knelt down and continued where Jill had left off on
the pants.  Phillip slipped out of his loafers without coaxing. I asked
Jill to loosen my boot laces so I could get them off. Jack and Jill then
simultaneously removed Phillip's and my pants.  Wardrobe had given Phillip
a pair of tight white briefs. Jack pulled off Phillip's undershirt and
began fondling his breasts. I reached over and felt his package through his
briefs while Jill cupped my growing cock in her hands.

"OK, Phil, let's you and I go over and stand by the bed and see how these
two lovebirds perform." We went to the bed. Phillip stood on one side and I
on the other. Jill laid down on her back and spread her legs. I grabbed one
ankle and Phillip the other. Then Jack got into position. He knelt at her
rear end and deliberately opened a condom package. The camera zoomed in as
he unrolled the rubber over his nice big cock. Apparently, this program
emphasized safe sex. Jack got on top of Jill and went to town. I kept my
eyes on Phillip, and now that he was bare chested, that was not a difficult
thing to do. Phillip seemed to keep his own eyes on Jack's rear end bobbing
up and down.

"Hold on, Jack, I got to get me a piece of this." I made Jack pull out and
Jill get off the bed.  She stood beside Phillip and ran her hand through
his hair while I, slipped out of my bikini and got on the bed doggy
position. Jack took a tube of lube and got my hole greased up and then
continued his pounding, on me instead of Jill. I turned to look at
Phillip. I couldn't see his face, but I could see what his hands were doing
with his package. I felt I knew all I had to know now. Lisa was making some
inane comments about the lumberjack knowing his woods.

Jack kept pumping away at my ass while we broke for another commercial. I
needed the cumrag this time. And I think maybe Phillip did too but he
turned his back on me.

"We're back for round 3. Ulysses, you certainly showed some great
initiative there in round 2. Do you think you have enough information to
make your decision now?"

I had my bikini back on now, Phillip his briefs, Jack his pjs and Jill her
teddy. They all stood in a semi circle around me. "Yes, Lisa, I'm quite
confident now."

"Well, whether you are or not, it's time to make your selection for Menage
a Trois. Who do you want to dismiss this time. If you are confident that
Phillip is a gay man, then you'll want to keep Jack for your three-way, but
if you think Phillip is bi, you'll want to get rid of Jack and keep
Jill. Of course, if you're rethinking your initial decision and think
Phillip might be straight after all, then you better keep Jill, and she's
going to have her hands full with you two men."

"And my holes full too," Jill piped in, followed by canned laughter.

Lisa grinned and continued, "Who shall we send packing this time, Ulysses?"

"Jill." A gasp from the canned audience.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, that's my final answer." I thought, well that was stupid. This is
Lisa, not Regis Philbin. Canned applause.

Jill waved to the invisible audience and strutted off.

"It's Menage a Trois!" Lisa said one more time, and the music started. As
if on cue, Jack, Phillip and I all stripped naked and climbed on the bed. I
grabbed hold of Phillip's ass while he zeroed in on Jack's cock. He turned
and kissed me on the mouth and Jack bent down and sucked my oozing cock,
but moved in such a way that Phillip never let go of his cock. Phillip took
his tongue out of my mouth and went down on Jack's cock in his hand and
that left me free to lay down and lick Phillip's asshole.

None of us needed any direction, but I could hear Lisa giving a
play-by-play. Jack's mouth let go of my cock and he laid back against the
pillows and spread his legs. Phillip deep throated him while sticking his
ass up in the air. I was handed a condom by an off-camera assistant and a
camera zoomed in as I rolled it on my tool. I put a big glob of spit on
Phillip's hole and with the lubricated condom, it was enough. I positioned
my cock and with one push, got through his sphincter. Phillip groaned. I
grabbed his waist and pounded him. He was holding his own cock now.

I pulled out, hard as steel, laid on my back, stuck my head between
Phillip's legs and grabbed his wet cock with my lips. Phillip let go of
Jack's tool and sat up leaning back on his haunches 'til his ass was on my
chest. This allowed Jack to swing his legs around and get around behind
Phillip. He held Phillip around the chest tweaking his nips while he
lowered himself down on my sheathed iron rod. Phillip turned to kiss
Jack. I heard him whisper something to Jack, who then made some signal to a
crewmember and magically had a condom in his hand. Phillip pulled his
member out of my mouth and Jack rolled the condom on to it. We all stood up
and quickly repositioned. Jack got in a doggy position.  Phillip knelt
behind him and began fucking the hole that had had my pole in it just a few
minutes before. I pulled off my condom, threw it somewhere, and began
fucking Jack's face. Phillip and I both leaned forward and kissed over
Jack's back.

Soon, all three of us were yelling so loud that no one could hear Lisa's
drivel. We could feel the tension in each other's bodies. We were one
body. As if by some prearranged signal, we all suddenly pulled out of our
respective holes, ripped off the remaining rubbers and jacked a few final
jacks. Three cum geysers erupted practically spraying the lenses of the
closeup cameras. We collapsed in a heap on the bed. And Lisa told the
audience to stay tuned for the wrapup.

During the final break, the crew gave all three of our hearts a chance to
stop pounding. We donned matching white robes and sat down on three stools
beside Lisa. The lights came back up and Lisa asked me if I enjoyed my
Menage a Trois. I smiled broadly and said of course. Jack piped in that he
liked it too. "Yes, I could tell that," said Lisa. "But it all depends on
Phillip here. Did he really enjoy having a romp with these two men? Did he
miss having a couple tits and a pussy to play with? Did Ulysses make the
right choice?  May I please have the envelope." Jill and Tammy reappeared
in their teddies and handed Lisa the envelope. I was positive I knew what
answer was inside. Lisa dramatically opened the seal, and pulled out the
paper and handed it to mystery man. "Phillip, will you please read it aloud
for Ulysses and for all our audience, both here and at home?"

Phillip took the paper, looked at me, then at Lisa, then at the camera and
turning it over so all could read it, he announced, "I'm Gay." Rousing
canned applause. Balloons dropping from the ceiling. Tammy and Jill
reappearing with a big check facsimile. We all waved to the invisible
audience as the music came up and we faded out.

Back in the dressing room, Jack gave me his congratulations, patted my ass
and walked out to join his two girlfriends, perhaps for his own type of
threeway. But Phillip turned to me and said, "You know that was really
awesome. As soon as I saw you on the set, I hoped I could fuck with you. I
even wanted to find some way to tell you, but I had to keep my mouth shut
until the very end or forfeit my commission. Jack wasn't so bad either; a
lot more to my taste than either of those bimbos." Phillip winked at
me. "Say, Ulysses, you want to go somewhere, the two of us, and get better
acquainted? I know a leather bar not too far from here."

"First off, my name ain't Ulysses. And I'm no lumberjack either."

"Hehe, I'm not Phillip, I don't work in a bank, and I hate racquetball!" We
both laughed out loud.

"Second, I'd love to go out with you. But I'm paying. Look at how rich you
made me!"

"And third, how about we find some guy at that leather bar and have
ourselves a little threeway?"