Date: Tue, 14 Jan 2003 12:58:56 -0800 (PST)
From: Jason Calme <jasoncalme@yahoo.com>
Subject: Boy Bands: All the Ways I Love You - Chapter 8

All the Ways I Love You

This story is about male/male relationships and contains graphic
descriptions of sex.

You should not read this story if it is in any way illegal due to your
age or residence.

This is a work of pure fiction. It mixes fictional characters and events
with real people. However any real person mentioned in this work is
purely an actor playing a part. This story in no way is meant to imply
anything about the sexuality, personality, or behavior of the actual
person.

Copyright 2003 Jason Calme. This story is the sole property of its
author and may not be copied in whole or in part or posted on any
website without the permission of the author.

Questions and commentary can be sent to
"JasonCalme@yahoo.com".


Chapter 8


Saturday morning I found myself in a rented Mini  - a cute car! -
rolling down the highway to North Carolina. I hadn't been on a road
trip in a while and it was fun to be out on the road in a sporty little
car. Accent on the little. I quickly decided I didn't like being next to
18-wheelers. Made me think I was going to get crushed under their
wheels.

But the Mini was cool, and it wasn't that expensive to rent. I
thought Justin might think it was cool too. I guess I wanted to
impress him. God I didn't want to turn up in a Ford Taurus!

It was only after I was an hour out of New York that it occurred to
me that if Justin and I went driving in it we might want to try other
things in it as well. Damn! I should have rented that Lincoln Town
Car after all. Oh well! Too late to go back now.

I left a little after 7am and it was supposed to take about 9 and a
half hours according to Yahoo's map to drive down. I got in around
5, which I thought was pretty good going since I'd stopped a couple
of times along the way. God bless cruise control!

It wasn't hard finding the house, which was in a private gated
community. I had to show ID to get past the guard at the entrance.
I was a little nervous, but the guard was a pleasant guy in his
fifties. He didn't really look that intimidating, though I did notice the
handgun in a holster on his hip. I wondered if he had ever had to
use it. Fortunately he quickly found my name on the list and waved
me through.

The house itself was huge. I parked in an empty space and
hopped out, stretching my arms and legs a bit. I knew Justin was
flying in that afternoon, but I didn't know exactly when.

I went up to the door and rang the bell. Hopefully someone was
already there, as I didn't have a key. After a minute or two the door
opened and there stood Lance, wearing swimming trunks and t-
shirt.

"Hey...Ethan, right?" he said, smiling and extending his hand. I
took it, and shook it.

"Yeah, Hi Lance, good to see you again."

"Great you could come. Justin's not here yet," he said answering
the question I was about to ask, "but I can show you your bed
room. You got any bags?" he asked trying to look behind me.

"They're in the car."

"Want help with them?"

"No, I'll get them later if you can just give me a quick tour. I could
really use a bathroom."

"Sure!" Lance laughed, "Come on," and he stepped back for me
to enter the house.

Lance gave me a quick tour of the kitchen, living room, games
room, bedrooms and bathrooms. I was in a nice room down the end
of one hall. It turned out Justin was in a bedroom upstairs at the
other end of the house: not that I asked, but Lance told me.

Well so much for the hope of adjoining rooms. I wondered who
had handled room assignments.

After he showed me my bedroom Lance told me the 'others' were
out by the pool, and to come out when I was done and he would
introduce me to them. I thanked him and he smiled at me and I
wasn't sure but I was picking up an odd vibe from him. Something
was definitely off. Did he know or suspect something?

I went into the bathroom and washed up and stared at myself in
the mirror. I looked a little tired. An early night would be a good
idea.

At the pool there was a small party going on. A group of people
lounging around on chairs, drinking and chatting. The sun was low
in the sky but it was still pleasant. A couple of them were in the
pool.

Lance got up as I came out, and grabbing me by the arm, led me
around and introduced me to all the people. I'm terrible with names
and I was tired, but there were three other guys, Trace, Joey from
NSYNC, and another guy who I didn't remember his name after
Lance told me it. They all seemed to have girlfriends or wives (the
relationships weren't explained) with them. There were four
women; Christine, Julie and two others whose names I also forgot.
I suddenly got the impression that this was a couple's thing and not
just a 'guys' hanging out thing that Justin had kind of lead me to
believe. So was I Justin's unofficial date for this event?

No one said anything as Lance introduced me as the writer that
wrote the script for Justin's movie. They were politely indifferent and
I wasn't going to ask any questions.

"Well, I'm going to go get my stuff," I said to Lance, "I'm really
beat."

"We were going to go out to dinner once Justin gets here," Lance
said.

"Oh, well I don't know. I'll see what happens, but don't wake me
if I'm asleep," I said.

"I won't" he nodded.

I went back out to the car and grabbed my two bags - one for
clothes, the other with a computer and stuff - and took them down
to the bedroom.

I had just started unpacking when I heard some noise out in the
house and what sounded like someone yelling 'Justin.'

Feeling a little nervous, I stepped out the door and looked down
the hall to see Justin standing in the entranceway with Julie
wrapped around him. She was giving him serious mouth-to-mouth
resuscitation and he seemed to be enjoying it. I froze there for a
moment, then stepped back into the bedroom feeling nauseous.

Okay, I said to myself, breath!  Try to calm down. You're probably
miss-reading things. Maybe they're just old friends?

No that's stupid, that wasn't an old friends kiss. You don't try and
suck the tonsils out of old friends, no matter how close they are.

I sat down on the bed and cursed my miserable life. I had known
that coming down here was a bad idea as soon as Justin suggested
it, but I came anywhere. What a stupid jerk! In a funny way, I was
angry at myself, not at Justin. Part of me had expected this. He was
a very attractive guy in a very public job. I assumed he had people
throwing themselves at him all the time. Part of me was almost
assuming that he would be tempted now and again. Maybe all the
time. He was young, horny. I'd even kind of assumed that our
relationship wouldn't last long. I just hadn't expected it to end this
way, this quickly.

About ten minutes later, maybe longer, I heard someone coming
down the hall and there was a soft knock at the door.

"Ethan" I heard Justin whisper through the door. I sat there. I
couldn't face him. Not right now. I heard him walk away.

I lay down and fell asleep.

When I woke up it was just after 10pm. I felt better. Maybe I'd
been tired and had imagined it. Or just saw the worst. Surely Justin
would have told me if he had moved on?

I got up, straightened myself up, and walked out to the main
area of the house. The kitchen, dining and living rooms were empty,
but there was noise coming from the entertainment room so I went
down there to find Lance, and a couple of the others, watching
'Lord of the Rings' on the TV.

"Hey," I said to Lance when he waved at me, and I went and sat
down.

"We got back a little while ago," Lance said, "you really didn't
want to come out, right?"

"Yeah that's okay," I said looking around.

"The others went out to a club," Lance said. "There's some food
in the kitchen if you're hungry."

"Okay," I said, not feeling that hungry. I sat with them and
watched the movie for a while, and then I went out and looked
through the fridge and freezer. There were some frozen mini-pizzas
in the freezer. I took one out and zapped it in the microwave, and
got some soda to drink. I was debating taking it back into the
movie, but decided to eat it in the kitchen. I looked at my watch. It
was almost 11:30pm and I was eating dinner. Well this day was
one for the books. And it wasn't even over yet.

I ate half the pizza, threw the rest away, and went back in and
watched the end of the movie. It was after 12:00 when the movie
ended and I realized I was dog-tired.

The others made noises about going to bed, and I said I
definitely was going to go, and got up and walked out into the
hallway just as there was a key at the front door. There was some
noise that sounded like giggling, and the door opened and Justin
walked in with Julie holding tightly to him.

"Come on baby!" she was saying to him as they came in, and she
held out her hand and ran it softly up and down the side of his face.
I wanted to go and rip her arm out of her shoulder.

Justin pushed the door closed and turned to face her, laughing
and leaning down to whisper something to her. She ran a hand
through his hair and I just stood watching them as she leaned in to
him.

"Uhh hmm" came the sound of someone clearing their throat
loudly beside me. Lance had followed me out of the room and was
standing beside me. Justin looked up with a shocked expression on
his face; a deer caught in headlights.

"Hey guys," said Lance. "How was the club?"

"Okay," said Justin, still staring at us.

"It was really...hot!" said Julie, leaning close to Justin's ear when
she said the word 'hot' and then giggling a little. She was clearly
drunk. He turned to her.

"You need to go to bed, you've had too much to drink," he said.

"Only if I can go to bed with you baby," she said sweetly.

"You're drunk," he repeated and he looked back at us as though
asking us to help him.

"I'm going to bed," I said, as calmly as I could manage. I turned
to Lance.

"Night Lance," I said, then I walked past Justin. "Good night
Justin," I said casually.

"Ethan, uh wait...I want to...can you wait for a bit?"

I stopped and turned to face him. He was standing there and
Julie was clutching him, and I realized that he was a little drunk too.
They were both swaying slightly.

"I'm just going to...let me help Julie to bed...can you just give me
ten minutes?"

"I'm tired Justin."

"Just ten minutes" he was almost pleading, and I looked and saw
Lance was watching us closely.

"Okay," I said. I didn't want this to get awkward in front of Lance.
We were still standing there as the door opened and Joey came in.

"Oh," he said stopping suddenly, trying to figure out what was
going on.

Justin turned to Julie, "Come on you," and the two of them turned
and stumbled up the stairs, Julie giggling as they went.

I watched them go up, and then I turned and saw Lance was still
standing there watching me. He smiled at me wanly. I shrugged as
though I had no idea what was going on, then I said 'Goodnight' to
Joey, and went into the kitchen to do something. I wasn't sure
what. Lance followed me in.

"Anything I can do for you?" he asked.

"Huh?" I said looking up.

"Just wanted to make sure everything's okay...you know, with
the room. You don't need anything?"

"No, it's great," I said.

"Well, I'm going to bed. Maybe tomorrow we could go shoot some
hoops or something?" he said.

"Yeah, that might be fun," I said, and he nodded and headed off
to his room.

I went into the living room and sat down and waited.



I woke up about 2 in the morning. It took a few minutes to
remember why I was sleeping on the couch. I had been waiting for
Justin. What happened to him? I decided I might as well go find him.

I walked up the stairs and down the hall to his bedroom. It was
empty. That was odd. I walked down the hall and came to the door
that I remembered Lance had said was Julies. It was right next to
Justin's. I stood there for a couple of moments thinking. It felt
wrong, but curiosity - and a sense of doom - made me do it. I
reached out and turned the doorknob. It was unlocked. The door
slowly opened and I looked in. I could see two people lying on the
bed. Julie was naked, and Justin, naked except for a sheet over his
torso, was lying beside her.

I pulled the door closed and went back to my room.



I actually slept pretty well. After I cried myself to sleep.

I awoke a little after dawn. My bedroom windows faced the
morning sun and I hadn't pulled the blinds. I lay in bed for another
hour or so, but I couldn't get back to sleep.

I got up, dressed, and went down to the kitchen to have
something to eat. No one else was up. The muffin and orange juice
were pretty good, and it was such a beautiful day I decided to go
for a walk along the beach. I scribbled a note on a pad saying I'd be
back in a little while.

It was a beautiful beach and it was very calming walking along,
picking up shells and stones and lost in thought. I went several
miles up and back. Stopping now and again for no reason.

I didn't really know what to think. I was kind of numb. I couldn't
stay. That was clear. I had to come up with some plausible reason
for leaving and get out of there fast. Preferably before seeing
Justin.  I couldn't face Justin again. I didn't want to think about what
he would do or say. Would he tell me it was over? Or worse, would
he pretend nothing had happened and act like we were still
together? It made no sense. Why did he ask me to come? Did he
really think he could have a boy and girl friend with him on this trip?
What kind of vanity was this? Was there supposed to be a
threesome tonight?

For a moment I felt nauseous. Thought I might be sick. But I sat
down and felt a little better.

I sat there. I didn't want to cry. Didn't think I was going to. But
my eyes were watery and I couldn't stop it.

I didn't want to cry for him. Watching the waves splash against
the shore. I tried to think of other things. Tried to concentrate on
my surroundings. It was so beautiful there.

I cried.

And Justin thought he was a wuss.



I didn't get back to the house until a little after 10. Lance and
Trace were by the pool, and Lance waved to me as I came up to the
house. I was grateful to see them, as I was actually a little unsure if
I'd found the right place.

"Hey!" Lance called as I came up to him.

"Hi" I said back.

"We were starting to worry about you. Thought you might have
drifted out with the tide or something."

"You didn't get my note?" I said.

"Yes...just didn't think you'd be gone so long!"

"Oh."

I pulled up a chair and sat down beside him.

"Justin was looking for you, he was really worried," Lance began.

"He doesn't have to worry about me," I said a little defensively. I
looked around, "Where is Justin anyway?"

"Julie dragged him off to the mall," said Trace, who had been
listening to our conversation.

Lance frowned and gave Trace a glance, then turned back to me.

"He shouldn't be long," Lance added.

"Yeah," I said getting up, "I'm going to get something to drink,"
and I nodded to them and went into the house. I had no idea what
to do. I went into the living room and turned on the stereo. There
was a pile of CD's beside it and I scanned through the discs looking
for something I was in the mood for. I finally found a best of Marvin
Gaye disc and advanced to a track I'd played once before when
someone had dumped me. It had a soothing effect on me.

      You know that a man ain't supposed to cry,
      but these tears I can't hold inside.
      Losin' you would end my life you see,
      cause you mean that much to me.
      You could have told me yourself,
      that you found someone else.

      Instead I heard it through the grapevine
      not much longer would you be mine.
      I heard it through the grapevine,
      and I'm just about to lose my mind.

I played it again after it finished, and I was standing there, kind
of swaying to the music, when I realized someone was beside me. I
turned and saw Lance.

"Hey" I said.

"You okay?" he asked.

I reached out and turned off the CD.

"Yeah," I said. "That's an awesome song."

"Yes, it is...it's..." he paused, seemingly trying to think of the right
thing to say. "It's good," he said finally.

"Yes...I've got to make a call," I said and I went off to find a
phone. I ended up going down to my bedroom and using my cell
phone. The message icon flashed but I ignored it. I dialed my
cousins' number.

"Hello?"

"Dave? It's Ethan."

"Hey Ethan! How you doing? You having fun?"

"I'm good. Listen, I wondered if I could come up early?"

"Early? When?"

"Today."

"Today? Well sure. Like I told you though, I'm working this week
so I'll only really see you in the evenings."

"That's fine," I said, "I'm planning on doing the tourist stuff most
of the time anyway, and you probably don't want to do that. But if
it's okay with you, I'd like to come and crash."

"Sure. Come on up!" he said. "When will you be here?"

"Ahh, well it's 10:30. If I leave now it'll probably be about 5
maybe."

"Okay, I'll be here. See you soon" he said.

"Thanks Dave."

I hung up and then quickly scanned the room. I realized that I
hadn't unpacked much at all. I threw the few things back into the
bags. Straightened up the bed a bit - I assumed they had a cleaner
coming in - and dragged my bags out to the hallway.

Lance was in the kitchen when I came out and he looked up,
obviously surprised.

"What are you doing?" he asked coming over to me.

Shit! I just had to get out the door. I was just going to write a
note. I'd been doing a good job of holding it together, and if I could
just get out to the car I would be fine. Now I had to talk to Lance,
and I didn't like the way he was looking out for me. I had an
uncomfortable feeling he either knew or suspected something.

"Hey Lance. I just spoke to my cousin and he's gone and injured
his leg and can't get around so I'm going to go up and take care of
him."

"That's too bad, I'm sorry to hear that," said Lance, sounding
concerned. I felt guilty lying to him, but I had the feeling he was
going to ask me for a reason for leaving. "Justin's going to be
disappointed" Lance added thoughtfully.

"He'll get over it," I said, maybe a little bitterly, and I caught
myself. I have to get out of here I thought. "So can you let him
know that I had to go?"

"Sure. You don't want to just wait until he gets back?"

"No, it's going to take most of the day to get there. I've got to
get going while I'm still awake."

"Why don't I call him and let him know?" Lance said, and started
to look around for a phone.

"No," I almost snapped, "uh...I want to get going and don't want
to interrupt him."

Lance stood there looking thoughtful.

"Maybe you could fly up?" Lance suggested. "Then come back
later in the week?"

"No, I've got to take the car back to New York." I paused, "Listen
Lance, thanks very much for...for everything. Sorry I couldn't' stay
longer."

"Well you were hardly here at all, really," Lance smiled and shook
my hand. He picked up my bag to help me down to the car. I tried to
wave him off, but he insisted.

"I'll tell Justin where you've gone. Does he have the number
where you'll be?"

I paused. What would Justin need that for? I figured Lance just
liked to be organized.

"Just tell him to..." and I wanted to say 'fuck off and die,' but I bit
back the urge. "Just tell him I'll talk to him when I get back to New
York," I said vaguely as I stuffed the bags in the car, then I shook
his hand again, climbed into the car and drove off.

----------
I Heard It Through The Grapevine by Marvin Gaye and Norman
Whitfield.
All lyrics are the property and copyright of their owners

To be continued...