Date: Fri, 27 Jul 2001 00:13:35 EDT
From: FourHim821@aol.com
Subject: "Alright" by Mandi

This story is fiction and not intended to imply anything about the true
sexuality of any member of NSync.


"Alright"

    He sat there swirling the liquid around in the glass, hearing the ice
clink against the sides.  He had been drinking straight Vodka, and vowed to
not do it again, he has only taken two drinks,and sat the glass back down.
He didn't want to hide in alcohol, he wanted to hide within himself, yes,but
not with the help of an outside source.  He quickly decided upon going out,
maybe he could forget easier there, he didn't have to think about running
into him there, he wasn't that type.  But JC really didn't know what type he
was, he seemed to change right before his eyes, and didn't shed a tear when
he walked away.  JC had, he had cried everynight since he walked out and
never came back, ever since he heard the two words that still haunt him to
this day, good-bye.    But JC keeps it hidden, he won't let anyone in,  he
has to be strong, show Justin he doesn't have a hold on him anymore, even if
it was all farce.  NSync had broken up with the break up of the two heart
throbs, JC wasn't himself much anymore, and Justin seemed to be more
interested in himself than the music, so they went their seperate ways.  It
had been nearly two years since he'd seen any of the guys, and nearly a year
since he's been out, like as in a club, or even a restaurant.  He simply
didn't think, then, he could handle it if he happened to see him.  He knew
now he could, he could look the prick right in the eye, and just tell him
what he thinks about him, but he won't do that, because for some fucked up
reason, he still loved him.

    JC decided on a pair of tight black jeans, and a simple silver shirt,
making sure his "new" hairdo, which resembled what he had during No Strings
Attached, was just right; and walked out the door, and hopefully into a new
life.  But JC knew his real luck, and knew what would inevitably would
happen, and just prayed he could get through it, and still be standing strong
afterward, because he was alright......

    He saw him an hour after he had walked through the doors, and he felt
that famliar pull on his heart, and knew, he couldn't do this. He turned to
walk away, but felt someone touch his shoulder, and say one word, that made
his heart skip a beat, "Josh?" He turned around and standing there in front
of him was the person he had been running away from for nearly two years now,
and he couldn't look away from his eyes.  Staring back at JC was the
twelve-year old little boy he loved like a brother, the fifteen-year old,
wanting to ask JC, if he also "liked boys."  He saw the nervous eighteen year
old, confessing his love for the older man, and finally the twenty-one year
old, that ran from what he said he was meant to do.  JC fought back tears as
memories of their relationship flooded his mind, he blinked them away, and
focused on Justin in front of him.

    "How have you been, you been alright?"
JC almost laughed at that, Justin wanted to know if he was alright, the one
that had ripped his heart out, stomped on it, then put it back into his chest
without closing the wound, wanted to know if he was alright.  Being JC, he
told him what he knew Justin wanted to hear, and let him have it.
    "Of course I'm alright, why wouldn't I be?"
    "They told me that you took it pretty hard."
JC did laugh at that, he kept his real feelings hidden so far within him, he
dared Justin to be able to see through his mask.
    "It really hasn't been that hard."
    "I guess you've heard about the album?"
Justin had evovled into a wonderful singer/songwriter, and musician, and was
coming out with his second album, which was believed to beat the sales record
of his last album, which had beat "No Strings Attached", it was a good album,
JC had bought two; one for the house, and one for his car.
    "yeah, seems your really getting on with your life, how long has it been
since I've talked to you?"
    "Like two years man, it's been like two years....that's almost insane to
think about."
     "I know," he thought to himself, I've been without you for two years,
"it's strange."
    "I've thought about you from time to time over the years." Justin
confessed.
    "Me too....." every time I opened my eyes, till when I closed them at
night, everyday, but he didn't say that.
    "I guess I'll be going, are you sure your okay?"
    "Yeah, you know me, I'm alright."
    "Okay, I guess I'll see you around."
    "Send Britney my love, tell Jerika I said hi."
    "How did you know?"
    "I told you I've thought about you, wanted to know what was going on.
Congratualations, never thought I'd tell  you congrats on being a dad...ya'
know?"
    "Yeah since I was.....well, it's great , ya' know being in love, having a
family?"
JC had to doubt him a bit, Justin had never really been interested in
Britney, but he would never push the subject.  Justin had succombed to
temptation, and fear, scared of losing his family, and his fans.  He put on
the front he was in love with Britney, they were married, they had a
daughter, which JC didn't doubt Justin loved......but this wasn't the way it
was supposed to be.
    "I guess nothing is ever what we want?"
    "Nope," JC sighed,"never will be."
    "Ya' know I'm still here for you right?"
    "Yeah, and Justin, I'm alright........."


Why do you ask
Of course I'm alright
Guess I wasn't thinking I'd run into you tonight
Do I seem surprised, guess you caught me off guard
Yes I'm really doing fine
No it hasn't been that hard

How bout you, gettin' on with your life
There's so much to tell you
That I won't even try
My it's good to see you
How long has it been
I must admit I think about you
Every now and then

Like when I open my eyes
When I lay down at night
And every moment every since
The day you said good-bye
But you'll never know
Cause I keep it inside
How'm I doin' without you
Of course I'm alright

To tell you the truth
I guess I have felt better
God, just look at you wow
You make it look so easy
I can see it on your face
Everything we used to be
Is gone without a trace

If you wanna know
Right now I'm sinking fast
I know you always could see right behind this mask
But I won't give it away
I'm gonna keep it inside
How'm I doin' without you
Of course I'm alright

If you don't want to know the truth
Of course I'm alright