Date: Sat, 15 Jul 2000 17:53:24 -0400 (EDT) From: Hot Musician <drew_christian@email.com> Subject: Always and Forever Ch. 6 Standard Disclaimer applies. Don't read this if you are not over the legal age of the area you habitate. Also, this is entirely a work of FICTION. It is in no means the truth about Kevin Richardson, just wishful thinking on the part of the author. Always and Forever - chapter 6 I woke up feeling wonderful. I felt two arms wrapped around me. I snuggled closer to Kevin feeling secure in his arms. "Oh you're awake." Kevin said kissing my ear. "Yeah. I'm awake. How'd you sleep?" "Probably the best in a long time." He answered. "How about you?" "Great. I feel great this morning. The sun is shining, the birds are singing, and the man I love is lying in bed beside me. What more could I ask for?" "I love you." "Well, I think that seals it. I can die a happy man." "You better not die on me. I've still got things planned for us." He said. "Oh really. What could that be?" I asked as I turned over to face him. "Vacations, happiness, laughter, moonlit walks on the beach, everything that makes life worth living." Kevin enumerates and seals each one with a kiss. "You're all I need to be happy." I said as I returned his kisses. As we are kissing, I roll on top of him and start kissing down his neck. "So, you wanna fool around?" "With you anytime, but do we have time?" "No, I guess, we don't. You have to get back to the hotel and I need to get to the office." I said as I bury my head into his chest. "What time do you need to be at the office?" he asks. "My first appointment is at 9:30." "Do you think we could have lunch together?" "Sure, I usually have lunch from 12 to 1:30." "Must be nice to have such a flexible schedule," he jokes. "Well, when you're your own boss it's easy. Not that I always get to take that much time for lunch anyway." "Well, I guess we should face this day, huh? Have breakfast together?" "Yeah, we have to keep you fed. You need all of your strength and stamina," I said as I lightly punch his stomach. "To keep up with you, I certainly do," he laughed. "Why don't you go take a shower while I start breakfast and wake up the princess?" I said as I got up from the bed. He pulled me back down and kissed me passionately. I returned his passion, but soon pulled away. "I love you so much, Chris." Kevin said as we started getting up. "I love you just as much if not more." I walked out of the room and headed into the kitchen. I started a pot of coffee and realized I only have on my boxers. I ran back to the bedroom and grabbed my robe. I could hear the shower running and smiled to myself for no apparent reason. Complete satisfaction filled my entire being. As I walk through the living room, I notice Amy sitting there drinking a cup of coffee. "Bon matin." "Et toi. It's about time you got up," she smiled. "We've been up, how do you think the coffee got made, little fairies come in the morning and deposit in the coffeepot." "In essence, yes." She smiled at me. "Well anyway, what time are you going to leave?" "In a hurry to get rid of me," she laughs, "Brian asked me to have lunch with him before I left; so, sometime after 2. That will put me at mom and dad's at 4:30 or 5." "Ok, well stop by the office before you leave. I know we haven't had a lot of time together. So, stop by and we'll chat before you leave." "Alright, what's on your agenda?" "I'm going to work, then break for lunch with Kev to talk about some things, then back to work. I think that's about it, unless Joy has something else planned that I don't know about. So, what's going on with you and Brian?" "Good question. Shit, I've been asking myself the same question all night long. That's why I'm up so early this morning. We both want to try and make this work, but it is going to be so hard. I mean we are going to be away from each other for months on end or longer. I just don't know." "Trust me, I know. Kevin and briefly broached the topic, but decide to wait to finish the conversation." "How did we get so lucky to find two caring men at the same time?" "I don't know, but I thank God for it. I'm so happy for you and Brian. I hope you can make it work," I said as I pulled her into a hug. "Well, I'm just as happy for you and that sexy man standing in the doorway." I turned to see Kevin watching us. "Don't tell him, but I love him." I said loud enough for him to hear. "Hey, I heard that," he said as he sat down beside us, "And, I love you, too." He said as he kissed my cheek. "Enough of the mushy stuff, what's for breakfast?" Amy shrieks. "You sure know how to ruin the mood." I laughed. "But, seeing the time, I guess it's a bagel and cup of coffee, since I have to take Kevin to the hotel and get to work before 9. We'd better get a move on." "Well, seeing I'm going that way, why don't I just take Kevin to the hotel?" Amy suggested. "Is that ok with you?" I asked Kevin. "Sure. As long as I get there in time to change." "No problem." Amy stated before heading to the guestroom. "Be careful with him. You get him killed and I will kill you." "Yes, dad, I'll drive safe." Amy replied sarcastically as she walked down the hall. "Well, let's eat." I said as Kevin and I walk into the kitchen. I got the bagels, some cereal, and the cream cheese and set them out on the counter. I watched as Kevin grabbed a bagel and a cup of coffee and walked out to the living room. I grab a bagel and my coffee and soon join him. We engage in mindless prattle, as we eat, nothing serious. We watch as Amy reemerges, and heads to kitchen and comes back with a bowl of cereal. We chat some more until Kevin asks, "So, Amy what are your intentions toward my cousin?" "Well, sir, I like your cousin a lot. We both think this could be the beginning of something serious. So we are taking everything slow and easy." Amy answered honestly. "Well, I'm glad for the both of you. Brian needs someone like you in his life. He's been alone for almost as long as I have." Kevin said. "I guess we all get what we want then, right?" I quipped. "Yeah, I guess so." They both replied. "We need to hit the road. I've got to get to the office, before Joy start rescheduling appointments. And you need to get to the hotel. "Yes, sir," Amy saluted. She then ran off to get a few things before they left. "I'm going to miss you," Kevin said as he pulled me into a kiss. "Well, I will see you at lunch. I will meet you at the mall about 12, ok? And yes, I will miss you, too." "12 it is. I'll meet you backstage. I'll tell security to expect you." "Ok, I'll see you then, but I've gotta run. Otherwise, I'll be late. Tell Amy to lock up, please." "Ok, I love you." "I love you, too." I said as I ran out to the garage and sped off. I drove like a maniac and got to the office at 9:01. Joy smiled as I walk through the door. I stopped and check my messages before entering my office. Just as I am sitting down to return some phone calls, the intercom buzzed. "Mr. Thoams?" "Yes, Joy." "Ms. Jana Carlisle is here to see you. She says it's important." Joy said hesitantly. "Tell Ms. Carlisle that I am booked for the rest of the week and if she wants to make an appointment for next week fine; but otherwise, I am busy." I angrily switched off the intercom. A few moments later, Jana came barging into my office. "How dare you blow me off, Christian Thomas?" She yelled. "How dare you barge in here like you own the place," I yelled as I stood up from behind my desk. "Mr. Thomas, I'm sorry I tried to sop her..." Joy confessed. "Don't worry, Joy. I'll handle this." I said as she leaves. "I thought that we had finished everything we need to talk about yesterday." "You were wrong! I still have thing to say to you." Jana screamed. "Oh really? And what, pray tell, could that be?" I questioned sarcastically. "Christian, I love you and I need you." She said trying to calm down. "Jana, we've already been through this. I told you how I felt about you. I don't think we need to dive into that again." "Chris, will you please let me finish? You never let me explain what happened the day you left me." "Oh, you mean the day I caught you fucking some other man?" "Well, yes, Chris, that day was the worst day of my life." "Really, you looked like you were having fun." "Please will you shut up and let me explain?" She begged. "Fine, speak." "That day, I found out I was pregnant..." she said as my mouth dropped open. "I was pregnant with your child. I was so angry with you because of it, I went out and paid a guy to act like we were having sex. I wanted to hurt you because you got me pregnant. I never thought you would have reacted the way you did. After you left, I kicked the guy out and cried myself to sleep. When you still weren't there when I woke up, I though I had lost you forever. So, I disappeared. I figured why disgrace myself or my family when I can help it. So, I went to stay with some relatives in Utah. Nine months later, I gave birth to a baby boy. Your son, Drew Christian Thomas. I came back to see my parents when I ran into your mom. She told me everything you went through when I left and my heart broke in two. I decided to let you know about your son. I had thought about not even telling you, but somewhere deep inside of me I thought we could make amends and be a family. Then yesterday happened, and when I left I thought I would never ever tell you, but my mother talked me into coming back to see you. I don't know if you can ever forgive me, but I had to tell you." She said with tears in her eyes. "Let me get this straight. One year ago, you found out you were pregnant. You were mad at me about it, hired an actor, and pretended to fuck him to hurt me. Then you ran off to Utah and gave birth to my son. Is that what you are telling me?" "Yes, in a nutshell that' why I'm here." "This sounds too far fetched to be true," I said as I run my fingers through my hair. "I thought you might say that," she said as she stepped to the door and opened it. "Mother, could you come in?" she said quietly. Jana held the door open for her mother who is carrying a baby blue bundle. She passed the bundle who walked toward me. "Christian, I would like you to meet Drew Christian Thomas, your son," Jana said as she hands me the baby. As I look at the baby boy with dark brown curls on top of his head I wonder if he could really be mine. Then he opened his eyes and I gazed into the bluest eyes I've ever seen and I know that this is my son. I quickly handed the baby back to Jana and said, "I have to go. Give Joy a phone number so I can reach you, but I have to leave." I said as I walked out the door. "Joy cancel my appointments for the rest of the week. An emergency came up and I will be out of town. Express my deepest apologies to the clients. I will call you later and let you know what's going on." I said with tears in my eyes as I ran to the elevator. I can hear Jana calling after me. "Christian, wait!" But I just kept moving. I got to my car and I drove away as fast as I could. I let the tears flow freely in the solitude of my car. I just can't believe what has happened. I kept driving with no destination in mind, as the conversation played over and over in my head. The next thing I realized is that I'm driving by the mall where the guys are suppose to be. 'Kevin, I have to see Kevin.' "Chris, what are you doing here?" Amy screamed as I approached her. "I have to see Kevin." "He's about to go onstage. What's wrong?" "I just need to see Kevin." "Chris, you have to wait. C'mon tell me what's up." "I want to see Kevin." "Well, there he is," she said as the guys run out onstage. The crowd went wild. The guys were loving every minute of it. Then Brian saw me his total demeanor fell. The guys noticed and looked to see what upset Brian. They all searched the crowd and found me. Kevin was the last to see me. I was just staring at him. He looked hurt, maybe he was feeling my pain. I mouthed, 'I need you.' He smiled and winked as if to say, 'I'm here.' They guys worked hard. After making eye contact with me, I moved to the edge of the crowd. I couldn't handle being around people especially screaming teenage girls. As the set was finishing, I felt a hand on my shoulder. "Mr. Thomas, you are requested backstage," a security guard said. I followed him backstage and waited. He handed me a pass and I just stared at it. After the applause and cheers started, they guys took their bows and ran offstage. Kevin was the first to get backstage. He ran straight for me, pulling me into a hug. All of my self-constraint left as I felt his strong arms embrace me. The tears and wails of torment wracked my body. I couldn't control the overwhelming emotions that were surging through my being. As I stood there and cried on Kevin's shoulder, I felt other arms envelop us. I looked up, and through my clouded view I could see the other guys huddled around us in support. The fact that they were so willing to care for me just made me cry even harder. Finally after an eternity of crying, I wiped my eyes and tried to collect myself. The guys who had tears streaming down their own faces backed off and let me regain my composure. Kevin still held on to me as he directed me into a make-shift dressing room. I calmed down enough to look the guys in the eyes. Trying hard to combat the tears that still wanted to flow, I gave them a half-smile and said, "Hi, guys." "Are you okay?" Kevin reached over and grabbed my hand. "Not really." "What happened? What's wrong?" Questions bombarded me from all around me. Not being able to stand anymore inquisitions, I walked away to find some place to think. I found a quiet corner where hopefully I would not be disturbed. I sat and started replaying the incident with Jana. Thinking about everything that was said and what I was going to tell Kevin, I didn't realize what time it was until I felt a hand on my shoulder. "Let's go somewhere and talk," I said even before looking up. "Ok, where do you want to go?" Kevin asked. "Anywhere quiet where we won't be disturbed." "Alright let's go." He said. We walked out to the car and I just get into the passenger seat. I handed him the keys and we took off. Still in my daze, I realized that we had stopped. We were back at the river where we had lunch yesterday. I turned and looked at him and burst out crying. Kevin pulled me into hug and held me to his chest. "Tell me what's wrong. How can I help?" he pleaded with me. "I don't know if you can help," I state through the tears. I know my words cut him, but I didn't mean for them to sound so harsh. "I'm sorry." I apologize. "You know I love you and we can work through anything," he tried to comfort me. "Kevin, it's happening all over again." "What? What is happening?" "Jana" "Why do you say that? What happened?" I gathered my wits and tried to control my emotions as I said, "Jana came by the office this morning." "Why? I thought you had finished all of your unfinished business." "I did too. But today, Jana really told me why she came back. Kevin, Jana had a baby - my baby." "What? Are you sure? How can that be?" Kevin rambled completely shocked by my information. I started crying again. "Apparently a year ago she found out she was pregnant. She was mad at me for ruining her life so she hired an actor to pretend like they were having sex, and I would catch them. She just wanted to hurt me. When I ran off, she ran away to Utah. She had a son, my son, and wasn't going to tell me. Her mother talked her into coming back and seeing me and tell me the truth. When she told me I didn't believe her, but when she put him in my arms and I looked into his eyes, I knew. He's my son. I ran out of the office not knowing what to do or think. I drove fast and furious and found myself at the mall. And now here I am." I explained. Kevin sat in silence not knowing what to say or do. "Kevin, what am I supposed to do? I can't think straight right now, and I need some advice." "I don't know" is all he replied. I couldn't think. I slowly got out of the car and walked to the river's edge. It was a peaceful scene, but my life was such turmoil. As I think of life's ironic moments, I think, 'How can this be happening to me? I finally find someone to love and that loves me, but everything is falling apart.' "Christian, I love you. But, I can't help you make this decision. You have a choice, and either way you choose, you're gonna lose something. You have to make this choice alone." Kevin said as he walked up behind me. I slowly turn to face him. He has tears in his eyes, and I can see the pain. I quickly turn away and sob harder than before because I know that the man I love more than life itself is hurting because of decision I will have to make. I don't want to choose, but I know I will have to. I turn back to him, but he is gone. I look around and see him sitting at a picnic table. I walk towards him, and he moves towards me. When we are standing face to face, he says, "You need to think this out, so I am going to go find the guys. When you've made up you mind, call me and we'll talk. Until then, I think we need to spend sometime apart. "No, Kevin, don't leave me. Please, I'm begging you. Don't leave me. I can't go through this without you. I need you. I love you, please don't go." I cry out. "I have to go. I love you, too, so much that it hurts. But, you have to make this decision on your own. I want to be here for you, but I can't. Please forgive me," he said as he walks off. "No!!" I screamed as he kept walking. I'm alone. I turn and look at the swift flowing water. After staring for several minutes or maybe hours, I walk back to the car and just sit in the driver's seat not know what to do next. I drove off not knowing where to go, or what to do. After 45 minutes of meandering, I find myself at home. I park the car and go in heading straight for the bedroom. I laid down on the bed and hope that this had just been a nightmare and soon I will wake up. As I finally wake up, I look at the clock - 1:30 a.m. I get up and look at myself in the mirror. 'Was this a dream? Surely, but where is Kevin?' I thought. I walked into the living room and sat down on the couch. I noticed the answering machine flashing. I hit the play button and sat back. "You have 5 new messages." The machine intones. "Christian, it's Jana. Please don't skip this message. We need to talk. I know I laid a lot out on the line, but there's more to the story. Please call me." "Christian, it's Jana again. Please call me as soon as you get this message. It's very important." "Christian, it's Amy. Are you ok? Where are you? I'm not leaving. I'm gonna stay here for a few more days. Hopefully, I'll find you at home." "Christian, it's Jana once again. I have to speak with you. Call me anytime day or night. Just call me." "Christian, it's Brian. Are you ok? Kevin and Amy are both worried about you. Kevin won't tell us what's wrong. But he is definitely preoccupied by something. And I have a feeling it has to do with you. Please call whenever you get in. We just want to know if you're ok." I sat there not knowing what to do. "So, you wanna talk?" Amy asks from the doorway. I look at her and just start crying. She walks over to me and envelops me in a hug. I just cry on her shoulder. She soothes me and strokes my hair. She doesn't say a word, she just hold me. After I finally cry my last tear, I say, "Thank you." "For what?" "For being here. I need someone right now." "I'm always here for you. We're family. Why don't you tell me what's goin' on?" I sat back on the couch and sigh. "Ok," I started in on the day's events. I tell her what happened with Jana and Kevin. She looked at me with compassion in her eyes. "Oh, Chris," was all that she could say. "I don't know what to do. I don't know what Jana wants from me. I don't know if Kevin even wants me. I'm so confused and tired." "Kevin wants you. I know he does, but Chris, he's right you are gonna have to make a choice - Jana and the baby or him." As she states the obvious, I just wanted to cry, but there were no more tears to cry. "I know" is all that I can speak. "I think you should call Jana. I know you don't want to, but let's see what she wants. Then you can make a better decision," Amy said trying to help. "You're right. I should find out exactly what she wants. I'll call her tomorrow." "No, you need to call her now," Amy emphatically stated. "Ok, I'll do it." I reluctantly agreed. I know there's no use in arguing with Amy when she gets like this. I pick up the telephone and dial the all too familiar number. "Hello?" "Jana." "Christian, I'm glad you called me back. We need to talk." "Yeah, I know." "Where are you?" "I'm at home" "I'm coming over. I'll be there in 20 minutes." "Ok," I said as I hung up the phone. "What's going on?" Amy asked "She's coming over." I stated dryly. "Don't worry. We'll get through this." "Thanks, sis. I love you." "No prob, bro. I love you, too." Twenty minutes later the doorbell rings. Amy got up and answered it. She led Jana into the living room. "Can I get you something to drink?" I asked trying to break the ice. "No, thank you." "I'll leave you two alone to discuss this," Amy said as she walked out of the room. "Thanks, Ames, I'll see you in the morning." "Bon soir." "Bon soir, ma petite." I said as she walked down the hall. "Jana, please sit down. We might be here for a while." I said directing her to a seat, and I took the farthest seat away from her. "Christian, I'm sorry for today. I didn't mean to overwhelm you, but you sort of pushed me into a corner." "It's okay. Let's just try to reasonably sort this out." "Christian, when I told you that I love you, I meant it. But, not the way you think. I love you for giving me our son. He is the greatest joy in my life; and I love you as a friend. But, Christian, I've found someone who loves me and I love him. We are going to be married," she said matter-of-factly. "What?" I asked shocked. "I'm going to marry him. His name is Marcus, and I love him. He loves me and Drew unconditionally." "Okay. I understand that, but what does this mean for me?" I asked. "Does he plan on raising Drew as his own son?" "Well, that's what we need to talk about. I have deceived you enough. Marcus will raise Drew as his own, if you don't want anything to do with Drew. I don't want to stop you from having a relationship with Drew. Marcus and I have discussed it, and he is fine either way. He knows what I've done, and he's forgiven me. What I'm asking for is your forgiveness. Also, if you want to be a part of Drew's life." She explained. "Yes, I want to be a part of his life. He's my son and even though I don't know him, I love him. As to the part about forgiving you, I do. You have made amends, and I forgive you. "When you dropped this bombshell, I wasn't sure what you wanted from me. And that's my fault. I'm happy that you have found someone to love. I'm also thankful that you told me about Drew. I want to be his father." "I'm so glad to hear you say that. I want you to be a part of Drew's life, too. Plus, whoever you may settle down with." "Thank you. I just hope he will be able to deal with this." "He? Mr. Richardson?" She asked perplexed by the situation. "Yes, Kevin and I have been seeing each other." "Are you happy?" "More than you'll ever know. I love him." "Christian, you know I love you as a friend. As long as you are happy, I'm happy too." "Thanks, Jana." "Well, I should go. Drew will be waking up in a little while. Why don't you come over tomorrow and get to know you son?" "Thanks, I would like that." I said as we walked toward the door. "Good night, Christian. Call before you come over." "Good night, Jana." As I close the door, I turned to see Amy stand there. "Well?" "She's getting married, and I'm a father." I said happily. "Huh?" We sat down and I explained what happened. Then without looking at the clock, I pick up the phone and dialed. "Who are you calling?" "Who do you think?" "Do you realize what time it is?" Amy asked just as Kevin said hello. "I'm sorry to wake you, but can we talk?" I said into the receiver. As Kevin hears my voice, he snapped awake. "Yeah, what's up?" "I'll be there in ten minutes." "OK" "I love you." "I love you, too." He said as I hung up the phone. I grabbed my keys and jet off to the hotel. I make it there in record time. I quickly run through the lobby and ride up the elevator. Soon, I find myself knocking on Kevin's door. Ten minutes exactly. He opened the door standing there only in his boxers. I quickly walked in and kissed him. He doesn't resist and kissed me back. As we break the kiss, I looked him in the eyes and said, "I love you, Kevin Richardson." "I love you too, Christian Thomas." "I have to tell you something. Something you don't want to hear." He looked at me bewildered by my statement. I can also see the pain in his eyes. "You were wrong." "Huh?" he questioned. "You were wrong. I didn't have to choose." "Maybe I'm still asleep, but I don't follow," he said confused. I set him down and explained what happened. He looked at me and said, "So you mean that Jana is getting married, you get to be Drew's father, and you can still be with me?" "Well yes, yes, and if you still want me." I replied. "Chris, I don't want anyone else but you," he said as he kissed me passionately on the lips. "Kevin, I don't want anyone but you either. But you do realize that one day you are going to be a step-father." "It will be my honor to love our son just as much as I love you." "Kevin, I hate to break this up, but it's almost 5 a.m. and we need to sleep." I yawned out. Kevin agreed with me. I quickly undress and crawled into bed with him. I laid in Kevin's arms and drift off to sleep. Knowing that nothing else can come between me and the man I love. TBC... Thanks for reading. If you have any questions, comments, rude remarks, please feel free to email at drew_christian@email.com.