Date: Thu, 7 Mar 2002 00:50:52 -0500
From: steelo64@msn.com
Subject: Angels Wings 25

Hey peeps, Ok people I've been trying to get on the ball and pump out some
more of the story and write now im there so lets see how long this is goign
to last.

Thanx to all who wrote me, even the ones who said they hateed me and my
cliff hangers.  What can i say i live to piss people off.

Jax is fun, went down ta disney and got in free wit my id and Universal 2.
They were fun but we went to tha wrong park in disney so when we go back we
know magic kingdom and not epcot.

we'll read and write people I jus love ya'lls input

steelo64@msn.com

On i don't know them

Angels Wings 25


The next few days were a blur of emotions. Me and Rene got to know each
other better in the physical and metal since and had begun dating. We went
to the movies, went out to eat and held hands in public things I could
never do with Shane

But I felt horrible, I mean I still loved Shane but, it just I can't help
who I love and right now I love her more. The phone calls were really
getting to me. I couldn't bring myself to tell him over the phone and
everything I told him I love him felt like I was slapping him.

And what would the guys say, right I had no idea but I needed to talk with
some one.

Right now I'm sitting in a nice Chinese restaurant waiting for Jc, his
favorite one, hoping that he would be able to help me. Soon he was shown to
my table

"Hey Lance what up?" He smiled bright glad to be at his favorite
restaurant. "Nothing much." He stared at me a bit not really buying what I
was saying but he seemed to have waved it off.

I was lost again how do I explain that I was gay and no I'm not, how do I
say I'm am betraying a love to already have found a new one.

"Lance!?" Jc shouted bring my from my barrage of questions I was asking my
self. "Huh?" "What's wrong Lance?" concern etched on his face.

"Yeah sorry I..." I was saved from coming up with a excuse as our meal
arrived. We ate and had simple small talk, until we were done by satisfied
with the meal. Jc leaned in on his elbows. "So what were you going to
explain earlier?" he asked with a smirk he knew I thought he forgot.

I stalled for a bit and Jc reached over for my hand. "Lance whatever it is
it can't be that bad, just take it slow ok." Jc sat back and took a slip of
his drink.

"Jc how did you know you were straight?" Jc's eyes bugged and he almost
choked on his water. He was laughing for a good when he was finally able to
stop.

"Phew," he laughed wiping the tears from his eyes. "I've never heard that
one before." Jc laughed but stopped as he looked over at and saw I wasn't
laughing.

"What the fuck Lance are you sure?" He asked wide eyed. He looked just as
lost as I did as he took another drink and ran his fingers through his
hair.

"Well what did Shane say?" He asked still trying to assess the
situation. --He doesn't know yet."

"Are you sure?" he asked again. "Yeah, I mean when I look down the road I
can't see myself with Shane like I do with Rene." "Who?" "My girlfriend
Rene."

"I can't believe you, you haven't told Shane that your no longer gay, which
I don't understand, and now you have a girlfriend."

"Jc I can't help who I love." "But you can help who you screw, you didn't
even have the courtesy to tell him, that you moved on." He sat there
looking at me, or through me, but I could feel his eyes and they were
angry.

"Is that why you called me here, to try and get my sympathy, well forget it
Lansten you fucked up now swim in it." He stood up leaving a 50 on the
table.

The next couple of days around Jc were hard, he would ignore me or just
contradict everything I said. He hadn't told the guys yet cause they were
still talking to me, but I knew it was a matter of time.

I was home in my office working on some papers when Justin ran by my office
cheering like a mad man. Next thing I heard was Chris and Justin jumping
and cheering, and about five minutes later they came in my office jumping
like idiots. "There here, there here, there here." They chanted.

"What is wrong with you two?" I laughed at their behavior. "Rajin and them
just landing and are coming home from the airport now." Justin cheered.

My world was coming to a halt, I had tried to ignore my problem and hope
somehow it would solve it self but all it did was finally come home to
confront me.


1 Luv & I'm Out

S.Collins a.k.a Steelo