Date: Sun, 4 Nov 2001 06:51:52 +0100 (MET) From: Rick Chasez <jc.chasez@gmx.net> Subject: Artificial Love (boybands) (part 1) DISCLAIMER: This is a work of fiction, meaning everything is not true. 'Nuff said DEDICATION: To Bry, the most adorable boy I ever met. And to Ja, the loveliest girl :-) ----------------------------------------------------- ARTIFICIAL LOVE Chapter 1 by Rick - jc.chasez@gmx.net ***** Is all that we see or seem But a dream within a dream? - Edgar Allan Poe ***** "Justin, please don't go!!" JC ran to the door behind Justin but only to have it slammed on his face. "Justin!!" JC woke up bathed in sweat and tears. He had been having that same nightmare for the past two weeks. He reached for the lamp beside him and turned it on. It was only a dream, just like the others, right? He had to make sure. He groggily dragged himself to the door and then walked as silently as possible to Justin's bedroom. He tried the knob and holding his breath, he peeked inside the room. He saw Justin laying on the bed, sleeping peacefully on his right side, holding a pillow like he always did. JC smiled and sighed softly. The guy he had always considered his angel was safe and sound. Then a tear rolled down his cheek... "He will never be YOUR angel, Joshua" he whispered to himself. "At least not until you tell him the truth" JC went back to his room and plopped down on the bed. He opened his drawer and took out the picture he treasured. On one particular birthday two years ago, Justin had playfully kissed him on the cheek and Chris had taken the photo in that exact moment. The other guys teased them for a while and JC had said he'd tear the picture, but had secretly hidden it and he looked at it every night, and kissed it before going to sleep. He held the picture to his chest, lightly rubbing it as if to try to soothe the enormous pain he felt. He wanted to rip out his heart and throw it away. // You have to tell him one of these days // // But why? he doesn't have to know... what if he hates me for it? // // Either way you will never be happy... but what if he loves you back? // // Come on, you know that is just wishful thinking // // Just go to sleep, Joshua. You're too fucked up to think right now // He had that same argument with himself every night, and nothing came out of it. // Why in fucking hell is this happening to me? // He sobbed a little, then drifted to sleep. --- Not much later, the alarm woke JC up. // Good Lord... Why didn't I choose to do something else with my life? // But he knew he had been born to do this. And it had given him the chance to meet his angel. Being with him was worth any sacrifice. Even if he never got the chance to kiss his sweet lips. He put on a robe and went to the kitchen. He made some coffee and began drinking it, when Justin came down the stairs wearing nothing but his boxers. JC almost dropped the mug and gasped. Justin came to where he was sitting and flashing him a smile, playfully tossled JC's long hair. "Morning, sunshine" JC smiled broadly. Damn, how he wished Justin would kiss him on the lips. "Morning, pumpkin" Justin chuckled. This had been the way they always greeted each other in the morning for the past few years. Justin stared at JC for a moment. "Hey, Josh" "Yeah?" "Is something wrong?" "Uh... why do you ask that?" Justin ran his fingers across JC's cheek and then softly squeezed his shoulder. "It looks like you didn't sleep well again" "Um, it's nothing to be worried about, Justin" "I've heard you scream a couple of times, Josh" "I've had a couple of nightmares" "Something is bothering you, wanna talk about it?" "It's nothing, Just. Nothing, really" "Josh, if it doesn't let you sleep, then it can't be nothing" "I don't wanna talk about it now, we have to get ready" Justin pulled JC in a tight hug. "Whenever you want to talk about it, I'm here, ok?" JC felt the warmth of Justin's embrace, his hands feeling the soft skin of Justin's back. His cheek feeling the stubble on Justin's face and his nostrils taking in the essence of the man he loved and needed so badly. "Thanks, Justin" Giving him a small peck on the forehead, Justin released him. "You're welcome, Josh" --- They were rehearsing for their next world tour, which would begin in a couple of months. The choreography was hard to learn, although Justin and JC seemed to have no problem at all. Justin would grin at JC and they would both roll their eyes looking at the other three slobs trying to make it seem like they could dance. After a tough day, they both returned home and sat on the couch to watch some TV. JC was twice as tired because he didn't get any sleep. Justin put his arm around him and pulled him to rest his head on his lap. JC never felt safer or better. He fell asleep peacefully for a change. The angst made his chest feel crushed again. He was having trouble breathing. He heard a voice calling him from beyond. "Josh!" "Josh!" With a loud gasp he opened his eyes. The first thing he saw was the troubled gaze of his angel upon him. "What's wrong, Josh? Tell me, please" "Wha... no... nothing, Justin. I had another nightmare" "That's what I'm talking about! Please, Josh, don't push me away like this. I am your friend, I want to help you" He saw his love's eyes tear up. // This is too much, now you're making him cry // JC sat on the couch and Justin kept holding him in his arms. JC cried and hugged Justin tighter. Justin was running his fingers through JC's hair and rubbed his back. "It will be ok, Josh, just let..." Justin's words were cut short by JC's lips on his. "Josh..." Justin slightly pulled back. JC took Justin's head in his hands and kissed him as deeply as he could. Tasting the honey on the lips of the man he'd loved since he could remember. "Justin, I love you. I love you, I always have and I always will" said JC between kisses. A hard shove sent him to the carpet, and he hit his head on a table. "What the fuck are you talking about?" "Jus... Justin, I'm sorry!" "You should be, you fucking fag! I was trying to be your friend and you try to rape me?" "No! Justin, please. I never meant to do anything like that. I'm just in love with you..." he said, whispering the last phrase. "I can't believe this! All this time and I never knew about you. Sure, I heard the others make comments, but I never thought it was true" "Justin, please forgive me," said JC between sobs. "Fuck you! I'm moving out right now!" Justin ran to the stairs. JC ran behind him and caught him, taking Justin in his arms. "Justin, don't go" "Get your fucking hands off me!" said Justin elbowing JC's ribs. JC fell to the floor, cringing with pain. "I'll send someone for my stuff later" Justin went to the door. It was exactly like in the nightmare he had been having. "Justin, please don't go!!" JC ran to the door behind Justin but only to have it slammed on his face. "Justin!!" --- A few hours later, JC was still laying on the floor, crying in the dark. He heard the phone ringing. He wondered if it was Justin calling. While he reached for the phone, the machine picked up. He heard Justin's voice. "Hey, you've reached JC's and Justin's house. Leave a message and we'll call you back" -Beep "JC? Are you there, man? It's Joey. If you're there please pick up the phone, it's really important" JC was about to turn back and go upstairs, he didn't want to talk to Joey or anybody. "It's about Justin, JC" He almost tripped running to the phone. "Joey, it's me" "JC! Thanks God... Uh, listen, I'm on my way to find you, you need to come with me" "What? No, why?" "JC, you need to stay calm" "Why? Did something happen to Justin?" "JC... Justin... Justin had an accident" TBC? -------------------------------------------- Feedback would be nice, thanx :-)