Date: Mon, 28 Jan 2002 03:52:25 +0000
From: "})({ Priscy G })({" <luv_hugs_chocolate@hotmail.com>
Subject: Beautiful (1/1)

Yes, another song-based story by me. This story was based on the song
"Beautiful" by Jennifer Paige (from the Autumn In New York Original
Soundtrack). I don't claim possession over lyrics and/or music. I'm not
making money out of this. It's slash. Lance tells me I should say I don't
know any of the guys from *NSYNC, so there. I'm experimenting something new
in this story, trying to alternate present and past, so I'd appreciate it if
you guys could tell me if I did ok. Hope you like it. E-mail me at
luv_hugs_chocolate@hotmail.com with your opinion, k? :)


***
"Beautiful"
By Priscy G
***


"... I'm looking for a way to feel you hold me... To feel your heart beat...
just one more time... I'm reaching back... trying to touch the moment...
Each precious minute... that you were mine..."


They had been best friends right from the start. Justin was the mature kid.
Chris was the immature adult. They were total opposites. Justin being the
young, tall, blonde, blue-eyed, sculptured, baby-faced, pouty-lipped
heartthrob. Chris was the older, dark-haired, dark-eyed, mellower guy who
helped Justin shine. But they shared the hyper ness, the jokes, the pranks.
And later on, they shared a love that could surpass all barriers.

People had said that their relationship would hurt the group, their careers,
their music. They had to hide, they suffered with having to lie publicly
about relationships that didn't exist. But it all paid off when they were
just the two of them, holding each other, feeling the other's heart beat.

And he couldn't feel that anymore.


"How do you prepare... when you love someone this way... To let them go a
little more each day?"


"J?"

"NOOOOO!"

JC and Joey acted just in time to hold Justin before his body hit the
ground, his slender body shaking with the force of the sobs that consumed
him. Chris was gone. They hadn't been able to save him. His body, once so
strong, hadn't been able to hold on anymore. And Justin was alone now. Chris
had left him behind.


"... The stars we put in place... The dreams we didn't waste... The sorrows
we embraced... The world belonged to you and me... The oceans that we
crossed... The innocence we've lost... The hurting at the end... I go there
again... 'Cause it was beautiful... It was beautiful..."


"WE'VE WON A FREAKING GRAMMY!!!" Chris shouted as the two of them got back
to their hotel suite from the party they had attended to. That night had
been magic. They had done it. Won a freaking Grammy. And seeing the
happiness in Chris' eyes during the whole thing made Justin's heart melt and
he realized he'd do anything to keep that happiness there "J! We did it!"
Chris grabbed Justin in a hug, causing Justin to crack up. Over-excited
Chris was always something hilarious to watch.

"Yes, we have," Justin replied softly before kissing Chris, immediately
getting Chris to surrender to him. It was always like that with them. It was
what made their love so beautiful. They gave themselves totally. No walls,
no hesitation. "I love you, Christopher," Justin breathed out as he felt
Chris' hands running over his body.

"I love you, Justin."


"... Some days missing you is overwhelming... When it hits me... you're not
coming back... And in my darkest hours I have wondered... Was it worth it
for the time we had?"


Yes, it was worth it. There was no doubt in Justin's mind. A love like the
one they shared was worth anything in the whole world. And, in his few
hopeful moments, he realized he at least had had time to say "I love you"
one last time. He had been able to take care of Chris. Even if it meant he
lost Chris little by little, they had had more time.

But then why did it still have to hurt so badly?


"... My thoughts get kinda scattered... But one thing I know is true... I
bless the day that I found you..."


"Justin? Do you have a minute?" Chris asked in a small voice and Justin
refrained himself from saying he'd have all the time in the world for Chris.
He'd surely scare Chris away with that.

"Sure, Chris," Justin replied as he dropped the Playstation controller and
sat down on the couch besides Chris "Something wrong?"

"Hmmm... I... I've been thinking... and I know you might hate me but...
well, I'm a little too old to be scared of you anyway..."

"Chris! Just say it!" Justin chuckled at the sweating friend sitting beside
him, picking on his nails.

"I'm gay," Chris blurted out and when Justin started to say that it was
nothing to be sweating over he turned and looked Justin in the eyes "And I
love you."

"I love you too, Chris," Justin said but Chris cut him off.

"No, Jus, I love you as in I *looooove* you!" Chris said in exasperation
"And I know maybe I shouldn't have said that but I couldn't hold it in any
longer and..."

"Chris, shut up," Justin said before his lips were on Chris'. He had never
imagined he'd ever be doing that, kissing Chris, with tongue. "I *loooooove*
you too, dummy."

And Chris looked dizzy. And then he smiled. And Justin kissed him again. If
he had only known it could be that easy to have the man he loved...


"... The stars we put in place... The dreams we didn't waste... The sorrows
we embraced... The world belonged to you and me... The oceans that we
crossed... The innocence we've lost... The hurting at the end... I go there
again... 'Cause it was beautiful... It was beautiful..."


"He was one of the most beautiful people God ever put on Earth. He was our
brother. And I know he's going to make some angels very happy up there."
Joey finished his saying at the service and headed to where JC and Lance
were sitting beside Justin, Lance's arm around his shoulder.

Justin was in a daze. That was it. The funeral made it real. Chris wasn't
coming back. Ever.

It took Joey, JC and Lance to keep Justin from collapsing as he broke down.


"... The rules we stepped aside... The fear that we defied... The thrill of
the ride... The fire in our hearts that burned..."


"I now proclaim you husband and husband," Chris smiled at Justin. They were
married. After years of living together, of sharing everything in their
lives. The smiles on their faces could light the whole room. "You may
kiss... well... each other," the priest smiled and slowly their lips met in
a chaste kiss to the sound of clapping.

"You do realize now that you can't get rid of me, right?" Chris said softly
as he rubbed Justin's nose with his.

"You mean I'll have to endure spending my whole life with your sorry ass
around?"

"Yup."

"Oh well," Justin sighed and smiled before their lips met again "I love
you."

"I love you."


"... The oceans that we crossed... The innocence we've lost... The hurting
at the end... I go there again... 'Cause it was beautiful..."


Never again would he feel Chris' love, his kisses, his arms, his presence.
He wouldn't have Chris around to make him feel all warm and funny inside.

Chris was gone.

He was alone now.


"... So beautiful... It was beautiful..."


***
So, what did you think?