Date: Mon, 31 Jul 2000 16:34:59 EDT From: Frnces O'Rtg <frnceso@hotmail.com> Subject: Begin Anew Chapter 5 Begin Anew Copyright 2000 By Francis O'Ratigan. All rights reserved. With the exceptions of short excerpts for critical reviews, no part of this work may be reproduced in any manner whatsoever without permission in writing from the Author. This story is complete fiction. This story in no way implies the ACTUAL sexual orientation or beliefs of Actual living people. In other words FICTION!! Any comments are welcome. Good or bad. Feel free to e-mail me at frnceso@hotmail.com Chapter 5 The silence filled the room to the point that it was almost deafening. Jason walked up to Kevin and took his hand and brought it to his mouth and graced it with a kiss. "Kevin he will not--," he started. "NO!" Kevin shouted interupting him. "There is no way in hell that Johnny is giving up one of his kidneys." "Than Justin will DIE!" Jason shouted in Kevin's face. "Do you want Justin's death to be on your hands?" Jason glared at Kevin until Kevin looked down at his feet. "Yea I thought so!" Jason turned around and went back to Justin's side. "I can't ask Johnny to do this," Justin said as he took Jason's hand. "You know that Johnny will want to do this," Jason said. "He loves you very much. And if I know him he will move heaven and earth to make sure you live." "I won't let him!" Justin insisted. Jason sighed and glared at Justin. "God Justin!" shouted Jason. "Are you just going to give up and die?" "Jason I will not risk Johnny's life and his health. The answer is no!" Justin shouted at him. His heart monitor started beeping and he started breathing heavily. "Ok!" shouted the Doctor. "Every body out! I will not have you guys upsetting the patient!" The three men reluctantly walked out of the room. Jason could hear Justin sobbing to the doctor about not letting Johnny to give up one of his kidneys. Jason walked to the window and looked out. Kevin came up to him and put his hand on his shoulder. Jason shrugged it off. "Come on Jason, don't be that way." Jason turned on Kevin with anger in his eyes. "Don't be what way Kevin?" he hurled at Kevin. "Don't worry about Justin? Don't let Johnny donate a kidney if he wants to. Cause you know as well as I do that he will want to do this to help Justin! Are you going to tell him no? Are you going to tell him no he can't save his Uncle's life? Cause I sure the hell can't tell our son NO YOU CAN'T SAVE YOUR UNCLE'S LIFE!" Jason was shouting now. He turned back to Kevin and grabbed him by the shirt and shoved him against the wall hard. "If you tell him no he can't do this I guarantee you that you will loose not only your son but ME as well!" Kevin tried to get loose but Jason held on glaring at him as if willing him to argue with him. Kevin finally lowered his head in defeat. Brian stepped up and put his arms around Jason and tried to pull him away from Kevin. Jason allowed himself to be lead away. He sat down in a chair sighing and burrying his head in his hand. Brian knelt down at Jason's feet. "Jason?" he asked softly. Jason didn't answer him. "Jason please look at me," he pleaded. Jason looked up and Brian reached up and gently wiped the tears from his face. "You know he will come around," Brian said as he gestured in Kevin's direction. "He may be acting like a complete Asshole right now but he would never allow Justin to just die." Jason nodded and looked over at Kevin. He was staring out the window trying hard not the cry. Jason's heart went out to him and he made his way over to him. He held out his arms and Kevin fell into them crying softly into Jason's shoulder. "I am such an ass," he sobbed. "No Kevin," Jason sighed. "You're just worried about Johnny is all." Kevin shook his head no and stepped away. "No Jason, let's face it," Kevin insisted. "I am an ass. If I hadn't of left you and Johnny three years ago none of this would be happening right now. It would be best if I had just stayed in Paris. I am thinking that maybe coming back was not the best thing to do." With that said Kevin walked from the waiting room. Jason stood there for a few moments staring at the closed door. He couldn't believe it. Kevin had just walked out of their lives again. He swore and took off after him. Unfortunately he didn't make it far. The Doctor stopped him at the door. "Justin is asking for you," said the Doctor. Jason nodded and headed off to Justin's room. Once there he headed for Justin's bedside. "Hey sweetie," Jason said with a smile. He reached down and took his hand. Justin looked up at him with tears in his eyes. "I'm sorry Jason," he sobbed. "But I can't just let Johnny do this." "So the big and powerful Justin Timberlake is just going to lie there and give up and die like a coward," Jason stated in a calm voice. Justin jerked his head away from Jason but Jason grabbed his chin and jerked it back. "Fuck you!" Justin hurled at him. "Oh my big words for a little man," Jason hurled back at him. "No, Fuck you Justin!" "Don't swear Jason it doesn't become you," Justin mumbled. "Don't tell me what to do! I'm not a kid anymore," Jason shouted back at him. After a few moments he started to laugh. Justin looked at him like he was nuts. "Do you remember the time you told me those same words?" Jason asked shaking his head. Justin nodded and looked away trying to stop the tears. "You were trying to get me to live and fight that fucking cancer. Now it seems we have come full circle. I am trying to get you to fight and live!" "It seems like such a long time ago," he whispered. "We thought we were going to loose you." Jason reached over and wiped the tears from Justin's face. "God Jason I am so scared!" he sobbed out. Jason gathered Justin up and held him close to him. "I don't want to die!" "You don't have to Baby," Jason whispered into Justin's ear. "You are a very strong person. That is one of the things I love about you." "I won't risk Johnny's life," sobbed Justin. Jason reached over and wiped the tears from Justin's face. "That is a decision that Johnny has to make," Jason said. "You know what he will do," Justin said back swallowing hard. "He is going to say yes. And that is putting his life in danger. What am I going to do if he dies and I live. I don't think I can live with that." "Why don't you let me decide that Uncle?" asked a voice. Justin's and Jason's heads jerked towards the door. There standing in the door was Johnny. Right behind him was Kevin. Johnny took a couple of steps in and than took off running to Justin's bed and had his arms wrapped around Justin's neck crying softly into his shoulder. "I don't want you to die," he wailed. Justin tried his best to calm the distraught child. Jason walked up to Kevin and wrapped his arms around Kevin's neck and graced his lips with a gentle kiss. "Thank you." "Do you know what he told me?" Kevin asked with tears running down his face. Jason shook his head no. "He told me that if he couldn't give Justin one of his kidneys than he didn't want to live. He loves him that much. God Jason I couldn't tell him no. I wanted to but I couldn't do it," Kevin said in a shaky voice. "When the hell did he grow up so fast?" They were silent for a few moments. "Do you have any idea how I feel?" Asked Kevin startling Jason out of his silence. He shook his head no. "I feel like I am leading the sheep to the slaughter. Only this time it is our son," Kevin said as fresh tears flowed down his cheeks. Jason reached up and wiped them free. "Do you know what I see?" Jason asked. Kevin shook his head no. Jason took Kevin's chin and guided his head towards Johnny and Jusitn. "I see a child that loves his adopted uncle so much that he is willing to give up a major part of himself so that his uncle can have a chance to live. Can you deny him the chance to give his uncle such a precious gift?" Again there was silence. "Kevin?" prompted Jason. "Damn you Jason!" Kevin hurled at Jason. Jason just glared at him waiting for an answer. "NO!" he shouted at Jason. "I can't deny him the chance to save his uncle's life. Are you happy now?" Jason pulled Kevin in a tight hug as Kevin cried into Jason's shoulder. "Just so that you know Babe. I am just as scared of lossing him as you are. But this is Johnny's dicision. And he has to make it." Jason said as he gently stroked the back of Kevin's head. Johnny looked up at Justin and found that Justin was sleeping. He kissed Justin on the cheek and walked over to Jason and Kevin. "Dad?" he asked. Both of them looked down at him. "Yes son," they both answered. Johnny glared at Kevin and made a point of grabbing Jason's hand and leading him away from Kevin. Kevin let out a small sob and left the room. Jason turned on Johnny. "That was not nice Johnathan!" he scolded him. Johnny shrugged and looked away from Jason. "Look at me son." Johnny looked up at Jason. "He loves you very much. Or he wouldn't be here right now." Johnny looked away again. Jason shrugged his shoulders and sighed. "What is it that you wanted to ask?" "If I give Justin one of my Kidneys will he live?" Johnny asked. "According to what the Doctor says. Yes he will stand a very good chance of living," Jason replied. "I want to talk to everyone," Johnny repuested. Jason sat Johnny down beside Justin's sleeping form and stepped outside to retrieve everyone. Stepping into the waiting room. "Everyone," he spoke getting everyone's attention. "Johnny has an announcement to make," he said formaly. Kevin, JC and Brian stood up and followed Jason back into Justin's room. Justin was awake talking quietly to Johnny when they all walked back in. "Ok Johnny," Jason spoke quietly. "Everyone is here." Johnny took Justin's hand and Jason's and motioned for Kevin. Kevin walked up to the bed and took Justin's hand. "I am so lucky to have such a great family," Johnny started. "Justin gave me his bone marrow so that I could live. Now he needs a kidney and mine will work for him. So I have decided to give one of my kidneys." Kevin sank to his knees sobbing loudly. Jason went to his side and pulled him close. Justin buried his head in his hands sobbing too. Johnny wrapped his small arms around Justin's neck and held him until he stopped crying. "Johnny," Justin started. "I can't ask you to do this." "Uncle," Johnny said looking into Justin's eyes. "You once told me that I should never turn a gift down. Are you turning down this gift?" Justin jerked his head towards the young boy. "That is not fair!" he said a little harshly. Johnny mouth set in a stubborn expression. "Yes it is!" he hurled back at Justin. "I want you live! It is not fair for you to just give up and die!" Tears were streaming down the childs face. Brian stepped forward and tried to take Johnny away from Justin. Johnny glared at him. "I'm not done talking to my stubborn Uncle yet!" he hurled at Brian. Brian stiffled a laugh and stepped back before Johnny bit off his head. "You are taking one of my kidneys and that is final!" Justin looked shocked at the child's outburst. "I am not going to win this argument am I?" he asked with a small grin. "Nope!" exclaimed Johnny with a triumphant grinn plastered on his face. "Brat!" Justin hurled at him grinning. "Meanie!" Johnny shouted back giggling. "Boys," scolded Jason. "Well he started it!" Justin and Johnny said at the same time pointing at the other. Soon everyone was laughing and Jason had Johnny in a headlock giving him a noogie.