Date: Wed, 10 Jan 2001 21:55:52 -0500
From: Scotty T <thepoetboy@hotmail.com>
Subject: Beneath It All 10

Here's part 10.  I went home for Christmas for a month and forgot what I had
done on my desktop, so that's my excuse this time around. :)  Most of it was
writen on my shiney new laptop.  Woo!

Remember, this has nothing to do with the real BackStreet Boys.  Also, I
have finally listened to Black and Blue, and I *love* it!  I don't know the
BSBs, nor do I claim to.

Also, the boybands awards have come around again, and I'm not taking part
this time around.  If you were going to nominate me, save your nominations.
I've made the choice that my name won't appear on the ballot.  I tried to
tell as many people as I could, but I've heard news that I still got some
nominations.  Thanks a lot for the thought, to those who've already made
their nominations.

Well, here goes.  On with the show!

thepoetboy@hotmail.com

***

Part 10

John sat on the toilet and leaned forward as far as he could while Howie
dabbed at the back of his head with a damp towel.  Squatting down, Nick
held onto John's hands and pursed his lips.

"I think that's got it," Howie said.  "Just be really careful with it for a
while, and try to keep it clean."

"I'll do that," Nick said, squeezing John's hands.  "What happened in
there?"

John shrugged and kept facing the floor.  "He doesn't keep his floor clear.
It happens."

"What if no-one had been here?"

John forced a bit of a grin.  "That's why I stay out of his room."

Howie turned on the taps and let the sink fill a bit before plunging his
hands into the water.  "I don't think you'll need stitches or anything, but
if you want a drive to the hospital, I'm your man."

"No thanks," John said, sitting up carefully.  "The odd disfigurement comes
with the territory."

Taking a towel off the bar on the wall, Howie turned off the water and
dried his hands.  "I can imagine.  Nick has enough trouble walking when he
can see what he's about to bump into."  He grinned and Nick found himself
smiling back.

John leaned heavily on Nick as the two rose to their feet.  "I've got to
get dinner started," he said with a wince.

Howie put the towel back on the bar and shook his head.  "No, you don't.
AJ should be back with the Chinese food in another fifteen minutes.  We can
get you downstairs and you can just sit around for the rest of the evening
and heal."

"No argument here," John smiled, "let's go."

Howie put himself under one of John's arms, and Nick slipped under the
other one.  They wrestled him out into the hall, exchanging a glance when
they saw Michael's door was closed, and to the stairs.

***

Ultimately, John found himself reclining on a couch in the sitting room,
leaning against Nick.  AJ and Howie were sitting on the floor, eating off
the coffee table, and Nick was doing double duty -- feeding himself and his
patient.

"Have you guys heard Johnny play his guitar yet?" Nick asked, holding onto
an eggroll as John bit into it.

With another groan as yet more rice fell from his chopsticks, AJ looked
over.  "He's good?"

"He's great."

John opened his mouth to protest, but found the eggroll moved in to cut off
his words.  AJ smiled and looked back down at his plate, making another
attempt at eating.  He was surprised with himself.  Somehow he hadn't
thought it would be so easy to see little Nicky and his boyfriend together,
but for some reason it didn't really matter.  The way Nick's eyes were
shining and the number of laughs he let out, it just wasn't something AJ
could remember seeing.  Not for a good number of years.  AJ just hadn't
been paying enough attention to notice they'd disappeared.

"Maybe he can play for us after dinner -- sing for his supper."

Howie smirked.  "If we survive long enough for you to finish eating.  Just
take a fork, man."

AJ shook his head and pushed his sunglasses back up the bridge of his nose.
"I'm not gonna be beaten down by a two ninety-nine order of rice."

John finally swallowed the last of the eggroll and cautiously sat up.  "I
don't sing though."

"Don't lie."  Nick reached out for his plate and set it on his lap.  "You
do sing."

John laid his hand on Nick's knee and squeezed gently, but shook his head.
"Only for certain audiences."

"But you're good," the blond said, holding his fork steady halfway to his
mouth.  "You could go pro, with the right backing."

"Naw."  There was a sadness to the shake of John's head.  "This is where
I'm meant to be, and I'll be content to stay here."

Nick put his fork back down on his plate and looked across John's face.  He
really could have gone pro, Nick knew.  He had the talent, and he had the
looks.  But there were a lot of people who had talent and looks who never
even thought about taking things to the next level, for any one of a
million reasons.  The reasons were what worried Nick.

"But you'll still play for us after dinner, right?"

John nodded and cracked his neck.  "Don't expect quality though, cause I'm
not used to such an intimidating audience.  And I won't be singing."

"Works for me," Nick grinned.  He looked over to Howie to show his
excitement, but just saw Howie's eyes move from Nick's face to his plate
and back, so Nick sighed and picked the fork back up.

John pushed himself up off the couch slowly, preparing himself for a dizzy
spell that never came.  "I'll go get Michael and we'll tune up."

"I don't think he'll want to," Howie said, carefully watching Nick start to
eat again.

"He'll get over it.  We're a package deal, him and me."

John carefully made his way out of the room and up the stairs.

***

Michael sat on the step and finished tuning his guitar, while the others
scattered around the porch.  Nick and John ended up on the porch swing and
John was softly strumming the strings of his guitar with a pick.  AJ and
Howie leaned against the railing and waited quietly in the cool evening
air.

There hadn't been so much as a word between the brothers about the accident
upstairs, but no-one else wanted to push the issue.

Michael finally stopped tuning and looked over to his brother.  "Which
song?"  he asked.

With a shrug, John turned towards his brother.  "Just pick something with
no lyrics, unless you want to be singing alone."

A sly grin snuck across Michael's face.  "Don't feel like singing?"

John's eyes widened a bit.  "Oh no, don't you take that tone of voice with
me."

Michael's grin spread as he looked down at his guitar and started playing.
A grimace formed on the face of his brother as the recognition set in.

"What's the matter?" Nick whispered.

John leaned over as his pick started on the strings.  "Harmony," he
answered.

Michael started in singing the first verse, and John was dragged in by the
time they hit the chorus.

***

"How long did it take you to learn?" AJ asked over his coffee.  They'd
moved in to the kitchen when the temperature started dropping.

"He picked it up before I did," Michael said as he let Denny out the back
door.  "He's got a knack for it, and I had to work like hell just to keep
from being overshadowed."

"Ah," Nick said, hopping up on the counter, "AJ knows how that feels."

"Hey, just cause the role of pretty boy was already taken . . ."

"Like you were in any way qualified for that one."

Howie flicked his spoon at AJ to get the man's attention.  "Hey, kiddos --
we're around civilians, so cool it."

John filled his own cup with coffee and put the pot back on the stove.
"You're around brothers -- so far you're being pretty tame."  He took a sip
of the coffee and leaned against the counter.

Setting down his own juice, Nick checked his watch.  "When're Kev and Brian
supposed to be here?"

"When they get here," AJ smiled.

"Are they always like this?" Michael asked with a laugh.

Howie bit his lip and nodded.

***

"Hey," Brian said, walking into the kitchen.  Nick noticed that the man's
eyes had immediately focussed on him, sizing him up as if to see whether
Nick had put on any weight since they last saw each other.

Nick turned to look out the window.

"Where's Tall, Dark and Authoritative?" AJ asked.  He leaned back, bringing
his chair up onto the back two legs.

"Parking the car -- he'll be here in a minute."  Brian rested his hand on
Nick's shoulder.  "Hey, can we talk, Nickie?"

Nick looked up at him, trying to figure out what the talk was going to be
about.  He could see the nervousness in his friend's face, in his movements
and in the seriousness of his eyes.  "Uh, sure, Bri -- let's go into the
living room."

Brian's eyes darted around.  "How about upstairs?"

Nick stood up, and shrugged a response to Howie's confused expression.
"Alright."

He let Brian lead the way to the front stairs and up.  "What's this about?"
he asked.

"I just want to talk," Brian said, half turning as he climbed the stairs.
The smile on his face betrayed the lie.

Nick let Brian get a head start.  These stairs still weren't easy for him.
By the time they were at the second floor, Nick was winded, but he
continued to follow.

When they finally got into Nick's room, Nick sat down heavily on the side
of the bed and Brian closed the door behind them.

"What's with the secrecy?"

Brian leaned his back against the door.  "I just wanted to catch you alone.
We've really got to talk."

"About what?"  Nick's eyebrows narrowed as he braced himself for yet
another conversation about how a person's meant to take care of themselves.
He knew Brian was going to do this eventually, and he knew it'd probably
involve a couple of Bible verses.

"It's about John."  Eyeing the floor, Brian crossed his arms on his chest.
"Are you going to be ready to walk away from him in a few days?"

"I think I'm ready for something long distance.  I mean, we'll be back here
soon for the weddings anyway, and I can visit whenever I get some free
time."

"But do you really want that?  I mean, just a weekend here and there, and
thousands of miles for the rest of the month?  It's not an easy life to
live, Nickie, and it's gonna be lonely."

Nick flopped back onto the bed to stare at the ceiling.  "And the other
choice?  Ending it here and now, and that'd be even lonelier."

"It doesn't have to be."

Nick closed his eyes.  "What do you mean?"

Brian pushed himself away from the wall and lay down on the bed by Nick's
side.  "You've got me, Nick.  Frick and Frack, two sides of the same coin.
I'll be there for you."

Nick shook his head, looking at the glow on his eyelids from the overhead
light.  "It's not the same.  It's totally different when you've got someone
who loves you -- or who could love you."

"I know," Brian said, "and that's what I'm offering."

Nick's eyes flashed open.  He looked at Brian and saw that the truth was
being spoken and that the nervousness was at it's peak.  There was
sincerity in his eyes.

"You're engaged to be married, Bri."

"And I'll only see her for a couple of weekends here and there."  Brian
layed his hand on Nick's chest.  "But you, I see you every day, we always
share the same hotel rooms, usually even the same bed.  Nickie, I want to
be your boyfriend."

"But John . . ."

"Forget John.  You'll be leaving here in a couple of days and we don't have
to ever look back."  Brian bit his lip for a second and then released it.
His eyes stayed firmly locked with Nick's.  "I could love you."

Nick pushed the hand off his chest and sat up.  He pushed the hair back
from his forehead and stood, finally turning to look at Brian lying on the
bed and looking up at him.  "I don't know what this is, Brian.  Whether
it's wedding jitters or . . . or what, but you can't possibly expect me to
jump at the chance to be second place."  Nick's thoughts stumbled over
themselves.  "I'm too good for that, Brian.  I can't be her placeholder
anymore."

For a moment he hesitated. Just for a moment he let the pain on Brian's
face convince him that their path was together, but then the idea crumbled
away.

"Whatever there was going on with us is over, Bri."  Nick turned and opened
the door.

***

Going down the stairs, Nick felt like a frightened child.  Somewhere behind
him was a mistake he'd made, some little bit of mayhem that his parents
would discover, but for now he had to face everyone as if it didn't exist.
And hope they'd never find out.

Taking the last few steps down into the kitchen, Nick met another
bewildered expression from Howie with a shrug.  Kevin was standing by the
door to the back porch, talking on his cell phone in a hushed voice.

The others were looking grim as they sipped their coffee.

Nick stopped at the bottom step and looked from face to face.  John turned
away.

"What?" he asked.

AJ cleared his throat and set his mug down on the table.  "We've got an
interview in Dallas tomorrow afternoon.  We ship out in the morning."

Nick looked to Howie, but Howie just nodded.

"We can't," Nick said, "all our schedules were cleared for the week."

AJ looked down into his coffee.

"Someone tell me what the hell's going on."  Nick said, crossing his arms
on his chest.

Michael stood up, leaning over to his brother and softly saying, "Let's
give them some time."

"No," Nick said.  "John stays."

Kevin turned around at the door and slipped his phone into his pocket.
"It's confirmed.  We've got to be there by six, on the air by six-thirty."

"Why?" Howie asked.

Kevin shrugged and took one of the empty seats at the table.  "Management
apologizes for it, but they can't cancel now.  It just would look good."

"I don't want to go," Nick said, hopping up onto the counter.

"You think I do?" Kevin asked, raising an eyebrow.  "I'd rather stick
around here with my family for a while, but it's just not gonna happen."

"What if AJ and I went alone?" Howie asked.  "They'll understand with the
wedding plans and everything."

Kevin shook his head.  "And what'd be Nick's excuse?"

AJ shrugged.  "He's down with the flu.  I mean, it's not like he can do a
public appearance right now anyway."  AJ's cheeks flushed and he looked
over at Nick.  "Sorry."

Feeling his own cheeks burning, Nick looked down at the large white tiles
on the floor.

"Fine," Nick said.  "I'll go with Howie and AJ and you and Brian can stick
around here."

Kevin shook his head.  "No deal.  All of us go, and we steer all talk away
from Nick, okay?"  He shook his head.  "We'll even leak some details about
the weddings if we have to, just to keep talk away from Nick."  He looked
over at Nick.  "And you'll stay quiet, or, if you have to say anything,
you'll give leads to get things turned towards the rest of us."

Nick nodded slowly.  "Look, guys, I'm sorry."

Kevin shook his head.  "It happened, and we'll cope."

"Can we bring a guest, just for a couple of days?" AJ asked, taking another
sip of his coffee.

"Who?" Kevin asked.

"Maybe John feels like escaping the homestead for a bit," AJ replied,
watching Nick carefully.

Nick's eyes brightened immediately and he smiled at AJ in thanks.

Kevin nodded.  "As long as we're all okay with it and John agrees, but only
for a couple of days."

"No," said a voice from the stairs.  The boys turned to see Brian on the
stairs.  His face was flushed and his eyes were bloodshot.  "It'll only
raise questions, and I doubt Mikey'd go for the idea."

"My brother," John said, softly but firmly, "is not my keeper."

"We've had friends on tour with us before," Howie added.

"Yeah, and it's only for a few days," AJ said, "it's not like he'll be a
permanent fixture."

Nick's eyes darted to AJ and AJ grimaced.  "Bad choice of words," AJ said.

"It doesn't matter anyway," John said, standing up.  "I'm not going.  This
is my place, and I don't want to go to Dallas.  I'll stay."

"Then so will I," Nick said, standing up and moving next to John.

Kevin looked over at his cousin and raised his eyebrow again.  "It's only
for a couple of days, Bri."

Brian shook his head and crossed his arms on his chest.  "It'll look
strange, and I don't think any of us are ready to be . . ."  Brian's eyes
darted to John before returning to Kevin and mouthing the words
"nursemaid."

Four sets of angry eyes focussed on him and Brian simply shrugged.  "Sorry,
but no."

Stepping towards Brian, Kevin clenched his jaw.  "Brian," he said, but the
shake of his cousin's head silenced him.

Kevin sighed and turned to Nick.  "That's it then.  We leave tomorrow,
boys, so pack your bags."  He patted Nick's shoulder as he passed him on
his way to the front door.  "Brian, in the car.  Now."

Brian moved to follow, but paused when he reached Nick's side.  He leaned
in and whispered in Nick's ear.  "Pack your bags, and burn your bridges."
Then he was gone.

***

End Part 10.

I'm sorry Brian's coming out as less than nice, but the plot seemed to
require it.  Keep some hope -- he's yet to finish his role in what will
come. :)