Date: Sun, 21 May 2000 16:23:48 PDT
From: Sam Dauson <sdauson@hotmail.com>
Subject: Blind Faith (Part 7)

Installment number seven has arrived! Now, it's not that I'm complaining,
but do you want to know the number of emails I received over the last
installment? One. (Thank you Jeff. :) I just find this a little odd, because
it's in stark contrast to what I received over the last installment. I'll
try not to take it too personally. :) Anyway, I just hope it doesn't mean
you people have stopped enjoying my story. If that's the case, let me know,
I'd like to hear from you either way. Send all comments, questions, anything
to sdauson@hotmail.com.

As for the standard disclaimers, this story is a complete work of fiction.
Any similarities to real life or any person(s), living or dead, are entirely
coincidental. This story is not meant to imply anything about the sexuality
of Brian Littrell, or any other of the Backstreet Boys. It's fan fiction,
and is not based in any sort of reality. This story appears to be written in
the first person by Brian Littrell, but in fact, this story was not written
by Brian himself, or even by anyone who knows him personally.

If you are under the age of 18, or your local laws prohibit you from reading
sexually graphic or erotic material, please leave now. The same applies to
anyone offended or made uncomfortable by stories involving consensual
homosexual male relationships. Basically, if you continue reading, you are
doing so on your own free will, and I cannot and will not be held
responsible for any consequences.

Authors Note: Let me say this once more, just cause I'm in a pouting mood. I
got one email over the last installment, a single email. Please, people, I
ask that you take the time to write me. It doesn't take that much effort and
it makes what I do so much easier. And if you're not enjoying the story, I'd
like to hear that too. Anyway, email me, please. I need it. :)

Last, but not least, I'd like to thank Jeff. Normally, I'd thank everyone
who wrote to me in this space, but he *was* everyone who wrote to me. And of
course, go read 'Common People' by Seth, '' by Jeff, and some of my personal
favorites, 'Studio in the Country' by Mike, and 'Brian and Me' by DLS. Both
are excellent stories, I'm sure you'll enjoy them. :)

That being said, on with the story...

Blind Faith
Part 7

	Simply put, the next week was hell. Having to be without Evan for that
amount of time made me feel worse than I ever had before. That pain in the
core of my heart, that feeling in the pit of my stomach, the loneliness that
had been present before I'd met Evan was back, only this time ten fold,
because now I knew what I was missing. It tore me up inside, and what was
even more difficult was having to hide it from everyone but Nick.

	Over the course of the next four days, which finished out our stay in
Nebraska, we performed two concerts, ate 3 meals in the hotel, went out the
two remaining times, went clubbing twice, and generally stayed in our hotel
rooms the rest of the time. I'm not sure about the rest of the group, but
Nick and I usually watched television, or played some Playstation. There
wasn't a whole lot you could do when you tried to avoid going outside
whenever possible, for fear of being mobbed by screaming girls.

	Evan and I called each other every night, and sometimes even once or twice
in the day. Even talking to him that much, it was so hard to be without him.
Most of the time we talked simply for the sake of combating our emptiness,
just to be in contact with one another. During the course of one such
conversation, I'd learned that he had gotten a lead part in one of his
school plays. I hadn't even known he had been into drama. Other than that,
though, we didn't talk about anything really important. We just talked,
perhaps trying to pretend we weren't so far away from each other.

	A.J. and Howie seemed to have no objections as to me bringing a friend up
for a few days. A.J. complained as to the fact that he wasn't allowed to
bring friends on the tour, but it was obvious he wasn't seriously upset over
anything. They both said they were looking forward to meeting Evan. Kevin
seemed indifferent to the situation for the rest of the week, and Nick,
being the only one I could talk to about the situation, was usually the one
I could express my frustration to.

	It was the longest week in the history of mankind, from my perspective,
anyway, but as soon as it was over, we finally flew into Minneapolis. The
plane trip was disturbing as always, but I at least had my closest friends
there with me, and I was heavily distracted with excitement at the thought
of seeing Evan again. At that time it was a Friday morning, and Evan would
be meeting us on the very next day.

	One of the first things I did when I got into the city was head for a
jewelry shop. I wanted to get something for Evan, nothing too romantic, or
serious, but something, anything, to show I really did love him. Not to
mention, I'd happened to remember his birthday would be coming that Tuesday,
making him seventeen years old.

	I ended up buying him a tasteful necklace with a small, simple piece of
Tsavorite as it's focus. It was a bit expensive, being as rare as it is, but
it was well worth it. I didn't really have much to spend all my money on,
lord knew I had plenty of it, and certainly nothing more important than
Evan. I couldn't wait to give it to him.

	Our last phone conversation of the week was that night. We talked about his
imminent visit, and I told him all about how much Nick knew and such. He
actually thought the way in which Nick found out was pretty funny. It was a
short phone call, not as long as the others, probably because we knew we'd
be seeing each other the next day. It seemed so close, and at the same time,
so far away.

	On the morning of the day Evan would be joining us, a Saturday, I opened my
eyes ever so slightly to see Nick trying to wake me in a way that wouldn't
result in me wanting to kill him. He was lightly repeating my name over and
over again, while shaking my shoulder a little. "What do you want?" I asked,
fully opening only a single eye to see him smiling down on me.

	"Not what I want," he said. "What Kevin wants. Breakfast is in half an
hour, and he wants us in there as soon as possible." he finished his
sentence with another smile.

	I groaned, and turned over in my bed, so I was lying face down. "I dun
wanna." I said, my face buried in my pillow.

	"Kevin's going to beat you then, you know..." he replied.

	"I'm not worried..." I turned over to face him. "You'll protect me, right?"
I asked, still half asleep.

	"You're 5 years older than me," he said, grabbing one of the pillows I
wasn't using off my bed and throwing at my head. "It's time you started
taking care of yourself." He smiled again.

	I sighed as I pulled the covers off and sat myself upright. "You're young
and agile. I'm old and helpless." I said, managing a smile through the
slight haze sleep had left in my brain.

	"Bah... you're wasting time," he said, looking at his watch. "Don't you
remember what day it is?" he asked, perplexed.

	At the time, I'd actually forgotten. "Oh crap!" I said, quickly jumping up
off the bed as I ran into the bathroom, hearing Nick burst out laughing
behind me. An entire week of anticipation, and I'd still managed to forget.
It was so typical of my, it was almost laughable.

	I got myself in and out of the shower as quickly as I could, and continued
to prepare myself for the day that lied ahead of me. As soon as I was
finished, I walked back into the main room to find it empty. I looked at the
small clock on the bedside table to see I was already 5 minutes late for
breakfast. Assuming that's where Nick was, I quickly left the room to join
them.

	"Good morning, everyone." I said as I entered Kevin's room, overly happy
for that early in the morning.

	"Morning, B. I see you finally decided to join us." Kevin said, laughing
slightly as he ate a piece of scrambled egg.

	"Hey, it's not my fault." I said. "No one bothered to wake me up." I shot a
look at Nick, who I'm sure would have responded in his defense save for a
mouthful of food. Instead he sat in his seat looking helpless.

	"Uh-huh." Howie said.

	"Start eating," Kevin spoke again. "Your friends plane arrives at half past
nine, remember?"

	"Yes, dad. I remember." I gave him a big smile, hoping to annoy him
further. He made a move with his fork and a bit of egg, making it look like
he was about to catapult it at my face. "Is anyone coming with me?" I asked
the table.

	"Mmm..." Nick said, trying to indicate he was without actually having to
stop eating. He gave up trying to give a verbal confirmation, and settled
for raising his hand.

	I smiled to myself. "No one else, then?"

	The rest of the guys seemed to collectively shake their heads. "I don't
think you need us there, do ya, Bri?" A.J. asked. "I think most of us would
like stay here and be lazy if we can help it."

	I smiled and caught sight of the food a few feet to my right. I grabbed a
plate, and picked a few things for myself. I was hungry, but I think
excitement kept me from eating too much. Fortunately for me, everyone else
at the table seemed pretty oblivious to the lack of food.

	It was hard keeping that same excitement off my face, and that spring out
of my step. Evan's visit was a cause for celebration in my mind, but if
everyone else knew that, they'd be sure to suspect something right away. I
tried to keep a grin from surfacing as I finished off my food. Seeing as how
Nick had gotten a head start on eating, he finished around the same time I
did. I stood, and motioned for him to do the same.

	"We should probably get going, then," I said to the rest of the guys,
looking at my watch at the same time.

	"Be back soon," Kevin said. "We've got a press thing to do in less than two
hours, so doing be going out to do whatever, and make us all late." A smile
crossed his face. "You're to come directly back here, is that understood?"

	"Yes, sir!" I said, matching his smile.

	With that, I turned and headed for the door, Nick close behind me. As soon
as we were clear of the room and had closed the door, Nick spoke. "So, I
finally get to meet Evan, huh?" he asked me.

	"I guess so," I replied with a smile. "Come on, let's get going." I lead
him down the hall and into the elevator, and from there through the lobby
and into a waiting cab. From our hotel, it was about a 5 minute trip to the
airport. We paid our fare, put on our standard sunglasses and hats, and
headed for the terminals.

	We had arrived 5 minutes before Evan's flight was supposed to land, and
made ourselves comfortable on a nearby bench while we waited. "You excited?"
Nick asked me.

	"What kind of question is that?" I asked, playfully punching him in the
shoulder. "Of course I am. I'm elated!" I looked down at my watch, then over
to a board a few meters away, displaying flight information. Evan's flight
was landing. "Come on," I said, pointing to the board at the same time.

	We quickly found our way to the specific terminal where Evan would be
disembarking, and found ourselves a quiet corner from which we could watch
the area, but not easily be seen. People were starting to come off the
plane. I watched each person closely, making sure none of them were Evan. It
was kind of hard to tell at the distance we were.

	One of the last people off the flight, Evan finally stepped out into the
airport. There was no mistaking his bright golden hair. "That's him," I said
quietly, elbowing Nick, and pointing slightly. "The one with the blonde
hair. I don't think he sees us."

	"Let's go get him, then." Nick said, turing a smile in my direction. We
walked over to Evan fairly quickly, a bit out of excitement, and a bit
because we were anxious to get out of the airport. As I got closer, I could
see he had no carry on luggage, and was wearing a simple red sweatshirt, and
a weird shade of Khaki style pants.

	He saw us as we approached, and began to smile. "Hi," he said simply, as
soon as we were within ear shot.

	"Hey, you," I said. I thought about the consequences of me hugging him in
public. It could look like a simple friendly gesture between guys, but it
might also look like something more. It didn't matter, I realized. I wanted
to feel him in my arms again, and that's all that really mattered. I reached
out and pulled him into a hug.

	"I'm so glad to see you," I whispered in his ear.

	"Me too," he said, pulling back to look at me. "Me too."

	"Evan, I'd like you to meet Nick," I said, indicating the person standing
next to me. "Nick, this is Evan."

	They exchanged pleasantries, and I suggested we find Evan's stuff and get
out of there as quickly as we could. As soon as we'd done that, we were back
in another cab, returning to the hotel. Nick and Evan had the window seats,
and I was in the middle. I placed my hand in Evan's, safe from the cab
drivers view. He placed his head on my shoulder, which I thought was a risky
move, but nothing ever came of it. The driver probably didn't even notice.

	"So I'm going to stay with you two?" Evan asked, his head still on my right
shoulder.

	"Yup." Nick answered, smiling. I nodded in agreement.

	"You don't mind?" he asked, more to Nick specifically.

	"Don't worry about it, man. I think it'll be fun not being the youngest
around for a change." he gave Evan another smile.

	The rest of the cab ride went by quietly. We soon arrived at the hotel, and
quickly, so as not to draw attention to either us or the fact that we had a
guest, walked into the building, and into the elevator.

	I walked up behind Evan, and put my hands on his hips, resting my chin on
his shoulder from behind. "Big moment, huh?" I said into his ear, but loud
enough for Nick to hear.

	"Huh?" he asked, turning his head to smile at me. "How so?"

	"You get to meet the Backstreet Boys." I said, grinning. He turned himself
around completely to face me. "Aren't you excited?"

	He didn't say anything, but just smiled. He took my hand in his, moved so
he was directly to my right, and leaned a good deal of his weight on me. He
was probably tired from flying, I figured. Nick was watching us with a smile
on his face.

	"You two look pretty cute together, you know that?." he said as the
elevator stopped and the doors opened. Me and Evan didn't separate, but
fortunately, there was no one in the hallway. "Come on, you two," he said,
trying to get us to move out of the elevator. "I should probably take you
guys straight to bed. You look pretty tired, Evan."

	Evan yawned before replying. "I think I should be okay for a while. I'm up
to meeting the rest of the guys first, but then I should definitely take a
nap." He gave Nick and me a half-hearted smile.

	"Okay, then." I said, and led him down the hall to Kevin's room, assuming
they were all still in there. We'd only been gone for about a half hour. I
straightened Evan up so he was standing under his own power, untangled my
hand from his, and knocked on the door.

	"Come in," we heard A.J. say from inside.

	We opened the door to find A.J., Howie, and Kevin in the room, almost
exactly as we'd left them. "Hey, guys... back already?" Howie asked.

	"Yup," I said, smiling. "Everyone, I'd like you to meet Evan." I motioned
to Evan who was standing next to Nick. "Evan, this is Kevin, A.J., and
Howie." I pointed to each one as I said his name.

	He shook all of their hands in the order I had introduced them, and there
was a customary round of 'nice to meet you' and such. For someone who had
claimed to be a fan, he showed a startling lack of interest in the rest of
the guys, but was polite nonetheless.

	Kevin looked at his watch. "Well, you got back with plenty of time to
spare, for once." he said smiling. "You've got an hour and a half. Anything
you'd like to do?" he asked.

	"Me and Nick should probably help him get his stuff set up in our room." I
said, looking from Evan, to Nick, to Kevin. "I think he'd like to take a nap
too." I looked at Evan, who nodded in response.

	"Alright," Kevin said. "I suppose you can do whatever you want after that.
Us three here aren't talking about anything important. Just meet us back
here in an hour, okay?" he looked directly at me.

	"Sure thing, Kev." The three of us, Nick, myself, and Evan, hand't come
much more than a few feet into the room, and hadn't bothered to sit down. We
turned and left the room, closing the door again behind us.

	Evan had a single bag of luggage, apparently he traveled lightly. We
brought it across the hall and into the room belonging to myself and Nick.
As soon as the door was open, and me and Evan were inside, he pulled me into
a tight embrace. He let me go a moment later. "I've missed you so much," he
said looking me right in the eyes as he pulled back.

	"I'm just glad we're back together. I missed you too." We drew near one
another as if to hug again, but instead, our lips met. I wrapped my hands
around his back and pulled him up against me as we kissed, and ran my hands
across his sides. It was a forceful kiss, a passionate kiss, and definitely
a pleasurable one. I would have kept it going for as long as I could except
for one thing.

	"Ummm..." Nick said, interrupting the two of us. "I'm right here, you know.
Maybe this is something you should save for later, like when you're alone?"
I turned away from Evan to look at him, a little red in the face, and found
a grin plastered on his face.

	"Gimme a break. I haven't seen him in an entire week!" I exclaimed, the
same goofy smile on my face as well. I wrapped myself back around Evan and
pulled him down onto my bed with me. I positioned us so we were both on our
left sides, facing east, or in Nick's general direction, me behind Evan. I
place my chin on his shoulder.

	"Aren't you supposed to be unpacking?" Nick asked Evan.

	"Too tired," he responded. "I figured I'd lie down for a little while.
Brian here decided to join me, I suppose."

	As a response, I kissed his neck before nuzzling into his shoulder. "I love
you so much," I whispered. "Even if you are a little liar." I draped my
right arm over his waist with a smile on my face.

	"I should probably leave you two alone for a bit," Nick said a little
sheepishly. He turned and left left the room, off to join Kevin and the
others, I'd assumed.

	I held onto Evan as if he were a life preserver and I was stranded in the
middle of the ocean. I held him close to me, overjoyed at being graced with
his presence once again. Being without him had been so awful, but it was
almost worth it for what I was feeling at that moment. Evan was back, and I
couldn't have been happier. In each others arms again for the first time in
a week, we feel asleep quickly. Evan was, and myself soon after.

---

There you have it, the seventh installment. It's kind of hard for me to
believe I'm at seven already. I do hope that the recent lack of email isn't
because you guys didn't like that last part, or that you're no longer
enjoying the story. Please, email me. Writing a story like this takes a lot
of effort, and I wouldn't be writing it if no one was enjoying it. A short
email means a lot to me. :)

Well, this installment is late, and I really am sorry. End of the year stuff
is taking up a lot of my time at the moment, and I haven't been able to
really sit down and write. The end of the year is upon me, however, and if
any one installment will suffer because of it, it would be the next one. I
will try to get it out on time, but I can't make any promises. This
installment also back up to the full length of 20kb, by the way. :)

As I get farther into this story, I find it harder and harder to keep all
the specific details straight, so you'll just have to forgive me if you find
anything that's a little off, or even downright wrong. I've always frowned
upon bad continuity in other stories, now that I know how hard it is to
maintain, I think I'll be a little more forgiving. :)

I know I said this installment would probably be about the week before
Evan's visit, but I realized that would be boring for both of us. That week
had no effect on Evan and Brian's relationship, other than what was
described in the first few paragraphs, and since this story is all about
Brian and Evan, I think I did the logical thing by skipping ahead. Hope you
all don't get too mad at me. ;)

That's all for now. Don't forget to send me email. :)

Sam