Date: Mon, 26 Mar 2001 20:22:49 -0000
From: Elly Iles <uptowngurrl@hotmail.com>
Subject: Bloodlust - 9

*****************************************************************************
Author's notes: So here it is finally; the final part of Bloodlust.  I hope
that it's not a disappointment to everyone who has read up to this point.
I'm quite proud of it myself.  As always, thank you to all the lovely
people that have e-mailed me regarding the story, and remember, I really
want to know what you think of the ending, so pleeeeeeeease e-mail me
whatever your thoughts are on it; good, bad, indifferent, I don't care.
Just so I know you were reading.

Special thanks go to Martin, who dutifuly proof-read the entire series,
with the everlasting hope that Brian and Nick would get together.  Sorry,
pal.  Maybe next time!

Anyway, that's all from me.  I'll be taking a short break from Nifty to
recollect story ideas.  I may start the follow-up to Little White Lies, or
I may start something completely different.  At the moment, I'm open to
suggestions.  Once again, I'm begging you to e-mail me your opinions.
Don't hold out on me, readers.  I value your opinions!

So without further ado, it's time to read the final part.  Fasten your
seatbelts, we're in for a bumpy ride!

Standard disclaimer: You know the drill.  Too young?  Don't read.  Too
homophobic?  Don't read.  Too repressed?  Don't read.  Think this is real?
Seek help.  Like The Backstreet Boys?  Read on.  Start to believe they're
actually gay?  Well, just don't start stalking them.  Then I guess we'll
all be okay.
*****************************************************************************

'The rain will fall, our hearts will break But still I will be here beside
you, right beside you' - Army of Two, Dum Dums

*********
Chapter 9
*********

Nick groaned as he felt a terrible pain pounding in his head.  He rolled
over, wondering what the hell was going on.  He could feel someone standing
above him, towering over his vulnerable form.

"Kevin?"  He murmured.

"No."  The man chuckled.  Nick suddenly realised who it was, just by the
tone of the voice, but the vampire told him needlessly.  "It's Louis."

Nick tried to stand up, or at least sit up, but his head was spinning like
crazy.  When Louis had lunged at him, Nick had fallen against the hard
floor and although it wasn't enough to knock him out, it was enough to send
him into a terrible state of bewilderment.

He suddenly realised that Louis' face was nearer than it had been a few
seconds ago; the vampire was now kneeling next to him, stroking his silky
hair.

"Do not resist me any more, child.  I do not wish to fight you.  Succumb to
me."  He whispered.  Nick once again felt himself being drawn into Louis'
hypnotising eyes, and intoxicating voice.  His head was no longer spinning,
but Louis' voice made him feel light-headed in a different way.  "Let me
love you forever."

"You said you could never love me."  Nick reminded him, snapping out of the
trance.  Louis shook his head, his delectable smile forming.

"I lied.  I was confused about your state of mind.  How could I not love
you?  How could anyone not love you?"  Louis whispered.  "Kiss me Nick.
Kiss me to seal our eternal love."

He lent in close and brushed his lips against Nick's.  As Nick responded,
Louis pulled him in closer and kissed him hungrily, his tongue probing
Nick's, urging him to go further.

"Now it is sealed."  Louis exclaimed as Nick pulled away reluctantly.  "And
now you will live like you've never lived before."

Nick shook his head as his hand explored the contents of his shoulder bag.
"Like that I never will."  He shouted finally, before breaking free from
Louis and standing up in one swift motion.  Louis jumped up in front of
him, angered by his resistance.

"Insolent boy."  He growled.  "Why try to escape your fate?"

"No."  Nick shook his head, tears running down his face.  "My fate is to
live, breathe and die.  That's everyone's fate.  It's only the damned that
live like you do.  And because you're damned, I know what I'm about to do
is the only right thing to do."

"And what is that?  Fight me?"  Louis laughed.  "Sweet child, you are
barely capable of fighting a mortal."

"You are mortal, Louis."  Nick unscrewed the top off a bottle in his bag.
"If you can live, then you can die."  He stated simply, before chucking the
contents of the holy water over Louis.

The reaction was instantaneous.  A loud hissing sound suddenly echoed
around the room, which was soon hidden by Louis' tortured screaming.  The
vampire fell to the floor, writhing about in agony as Nick stared down in
horror.

"I curse you."  Louis shouted at him through clenched teeth.  "I curse the
day I ever set eyes on your deceitful beauty."

"Don't curse me, Louis."  Nick sobbed.  "Curse the evil that made you like
this.  Don't curse the one person who loves you with all his heart."

"You love me?"  Louis rasped.  "How is that so, human?  How can you love me
with the intent to kill me?"  The hissing had subsided somewhat, but Louis
still seemed to be in a considerable amount of pain.

"I couldn't live like you, Louis.  I don't think even you wanted to live
like that either."

"Don't presume to tell me what I did and did not want."

"You were unhappy.  I could see it in your eyes.  All of those people you
killed, all the people you would kill.  The torture of never finding
someone you could love to be like you.  I think you hated every second of
your terrible life."

There was a long silence, filled only by the occasional sob from Nick's
direction.  Finally, just as Nick thought the vampire might be dead, he
spoke again.

"All my undead life I searched for the truth.  Now I learn it at the brink
of death.  And by a child, no less.  By an innocent child."  He painfully
turned to face Nick.
  "You have a stake?"

"In my bag."  Nick pulled it out, showing it to Louis.

"Use it."  Louis whispered.  "Use it and forgive me for any pain I may have
caused you.  I would sooner die than make you unhappy."

Nick walked slowly over to the vampire, kneeling down beside him.  "I don't
want to do this."  He confessed.

"Hammer the final nail into my coffin."  Louis told him.  "You owe me that
much."

"I would have been happy to spend the rest of my natural life with you."
Nick sobbed.  "Why'd you have to spoil things?"

"Question me not, child.  I grow too weak to answer."  Louis breathed for
air.  "Promise me one thing, however.  Don't remember me as you see me now.
Remember me on the night you first saw me, the night you fell in love with
me.  Don't remember my deeds, or my values.  Remember my dark heart burning
with love for you, my blackened soul bursting into sweet fire every time
you spoke.  Remember that, my love.  It's all that will remain when I
become dust."  Every word was now an effort for the vampire.  Nick knew
what he had to do, but before he finished the job, he lent forward and
kissed Louis softly on the lips, prolonging the thing that he wanted most
in the world, but would never have again.

"I'll remember it all, Louis."  Nick sobbed.  He brought the stake down,
plunging it hard into the wounded vampire's heart.  He heard Louis groan
quietly, before disintegrating into fine dust underneath him.

Nick sat back, looking at the place where the man he loved had been only
seconds before.  He felt a terrible sense of loneliness build up inside of
him, as he realised he had killed the one man who had made him complete.
Louis, who wasn't even a man.  Who wasn't even called Louis.  A vampire,
born of darkness, who murdered hundreds without a second thought.  Nick
knew, somewhere deep inside, that he had done the right thing.  This fact
refused to console him, as true as it was.

"Nick!"  He suddenly heard a warm voice calling him, a voice so unlike
Louis'.  He felt strong arms lift him up, pulling him into an embrace.

"I'm back."  Kevin whispered in his ear.  "I'm so sorry, Nicky.  I'm sorry
I tried to hurt you."

"You didn't."  Nick pulled away from him, trying desperately to wipe away
his tears.  "You weren't Kevin.  You were someone else."

"I'm Kevin now." The older man smiled.  "I'm still Kevin, and I'm still in
love with you."

"Don't, Kevin."  Nick shook his head.  "Don't make me hurt you anymore."
He looked up to see Howie, AJ and Brian all enter the room quietly.

"Nick, I know you've been through a lot, but we can make it work."  Kevin
told him desperately.

"No, we can't."  Nick shook his head.  "It wouldn't be fair on you.  I
loved him too much.  He's left me cold, Kevin.  My heart's dust now.  It's
slipped through my hands, and it can't ever return."  He looked at the pile
of dust on the floor and shut his eyes, the image too powerful to
comprehend.

"Let's go back to the hotel."  Brian said finally.  They walked desolately
out of the deserted warehouse, and Nick noticed with regret that the world
still looked the same despite everything.  It hadn't ended, and it would
keep spinning without Louis.  The sun would rise in the morning without
Louis, the mortals of the world would grow older without Louis, and Nick's
heart would carry on beating without Louis.  But Nick's heart would never
be truly satisfied without Louis.

The rain was starting to fall now, but Nick didn't notice it beating down
on him.  He didn't notice his friend's anxious glances in his direction.
He didn't notice the traffic whizzing by on the road beside him.  The only
thing he noticed was the sunrise over the buildings in front of him.  It
gave him some hope as to what the new day would bring, but it didn't fill
any of his emptiness.  The sunrise would never bring Louis to him, and
neither would the sunset.  If there was any hope left, it didn't reside in
the rising of the sun; it resided in himself.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?"  Kevin whispered as he looked to the sunrise as
well.  Nick drew his eyes away from it to look at Kevin.

"Do you hate me for pushing you away, Kevin?"

"I could never hate you, Nick."  Kevin smiled.  "How could I?"

"Was it better?"  Nick asked.  "That life?  Did you prefer it?"

"It wasn't a life, Nick.  It was a surreal state, and it was perfect at the
time, but looking back I was dying on the inside every time I had the urge
to hurt you.  I don't care if my life isn't perfect, because I have
everything I need.  At least, I thought I did."  He whispered sadly as he
looked at Nick.

"Don't, Kevin.  Don't do this."  Nick told him.  "I don't want to see you
hurt anymore."

"And I don't want to see you hurting either."  Kevin squeezed Nick's hand.
"Please, let me back in.  I know you love Louis, but Louis is gone.  I'm
not, Nick.  I'm here for you.  Not forever, but for now.  Let me help you,
Nicky."

"Maybe one day I will."  Nick managed to smile.  "Maybe one day soon."

"Just let me know."  Kevin told him.  "I'll always be here for you."

"Not always."  Nick shook his head.

"For as long as I live."  Kevin corrected himself.

"That's good enough."  Nick sighed happily.  Kevin squeezed his hand again,
and as Nick looked up to the sunrise again, this time he was filled with
hope.  It was time for him to let go of the vampire who never really lived
in the real world.  He'd been a part of Nick's dreams, a part of his
fantasies.  Now that he was gone, it was time for Nick to face the reality.
And as he looked across at Kevin, he realised that reality wasn't quite so
bad after all.  Maybe, just maybe, he could start living again.

				  *******
				  The End
				  *******