Date: Wed, 30 Jul 2003 14:00:30 -0700 (PDT)
From: JACK BROWN <jack_ga_2002@yahoo.com>
Subject: Brian and Jack 24 / Movin' on

**********
hellooooo!!! I hope you guys are doing just fine...well here's the nect
chapter in Jack's life. You all know that he broke up with Brian, so we'll
have to see how he has been doing since that day...
**********

The first three weeks after Brian walked out of my house and out of my life
were the hardest ones for me.

My brothers tried as hard as they could to cheer me up, they would invite
me to parties, take me to the movies, etc. but I just did not want to do
anything. I'd just spend my time in my room. I did not want to see anybody
or go out at all. At night, I could not sleep. I would stay all night long
sitting by the window looking at the sky.

The only thing that was on my mind was Brian. I didn't know why, since I
was the one who finished our relationship, but I only thought of him and
wondered where he could be and with whom...

Daniel knew what was going on in my life and had been very helpful. He did
all that was needed at the office for me. I didn't feel like working and I
didn't feel like doing anything.

I was disoriented and I wanted to figure out what was wrong with me and
what was missing in my life, or why I was so depressed. Brian had been one
of the most important people in my life. We were together for about 7 or 8
months and I got to know him a lot. I guess he was the man I had loved the
most, but he was also the man who had hurt me the most.

One night I was looking at the stars and I got to thinking about
fate...that crazy concept that we are not very familiar with...would it be
true that there is only one right person for each one of us? If this was
it, could we miss our fate at some point during our life? I thought that
maybe I had, but I wasn't sure...


More or less after three months my life went back to normal. It all
happened because Johnny phoned me to see how things were going. He told me
that he felt sorry for what had happened to me and Brian, but he could not
wait any longer. He explained that the executives wanted to have new
designs and that if I was not able to continue with my job then he would
have to find a new designer.

That's when I realized that I could not continue that way. I had worked
hard all my life to get to where I was. I knew I could not let it slip off
my hands. I was not going to let my break up with Brian get in the way. I
would try to put that aside so that I could continue with my work, and only
a couple of weeks later I was working again...

I had officially quit my job as the designer of the BSB. It was a hard
choice to make but I knew that it was for the best. The guys were a bit sad
that I was not going to be working for them anymore, but they understood
why I was doing it. I reassured them that if they ever needed me, they
should not hesitate to contact me at all. We also agreed that if they
needed my help with some outfits, I would be delighted to make them for
them...

On the other hand, I was still working for N*sync and now I was the
designer of their clothing line. It was actually a time consuming job and I
hardly had any time to do anything else. Since Daniel had been in charge
while I was in absent, he knew more than me about certain things. But I
gradually picked up my pace.

The first day I went to work, Paul drove me there, since I was a bit afraid
to use the car again, due to the accident that I had had. So he drove me to
work and he picked me up afterwards. And he did this several days, until I
decided to drive again, since I knew I could not depend on my brother
forever...

I had not seen my new office until that day. I was completely dumfounded
when I saw it. It was practically huge. The building itself was great
outside, but inside it was much more luxurious.

Let me describe the office roughly. As soon as you stepped out of the
elevator, you'd see the front desk where Sophie, the secretary, would
be. Sophie was around 30 and she was quite beautiful. She was married and
had two children. I knew them very well because I had let Sophie take them
to the office a few times when she could not find a baby sitter. I didn't
mind at all since I loved children. Daniel was not very happy with it, but
since I was the boss, I was the one who made the decisions. I'd let her
children play in my office or surf through the net if they felt like it.

Anyway, I was telling you about my office. So there was Sophie at the
entrance and then there was a small waiting lounge right next to her. Then,
there was an aisle which led to all of the offices. The first one was
Daniel's. It was bigger than his last one, but it was not massive. It was a
normal size. Then in front of his office was Laura's office. Laura was a
girl that Daniel had hired and was part of my new working team. She was
quite friendly but I could see that there was something going on between
her and Joseph. Joseph was another new member of my work team. He was a bit
older than the rest of us. He was around 50, but he was still in good
shape.

Well, further down the aisle you'd find my office and in front of mine
Joseph's office. My office was huge. It had its own little lounge and the
biggest desk I had ever seen. The coolest thing about my office was that it
had a big fish tank embedded on to the wall. It was absolutely amazing and
it had great fish in it. I had never had fish before, therefore I didn't
know what kind of fish they were, but they looked cool. I was determined to
learn more about fish...

On the other side of the office there was a huge window with a great view
to the city. I just loved my office. Daniel had used it while I was away,
but when I came back he moved to his office. I had felt that Daniel was a
bit different. I wasn't sure why, but he was always angry and had very
negative feelings towards the job itself. I knew I had to talk to him to
see what was going on...

I trialed off again, I was describing the office...well Joseph's office was
as big as Daniel's and had nothing special in it. At the end of the aisle
there were three rooms. One was where we kept all the designs and
prototypes. Another one was and empty office. And the last one was the
conference room. Here was where all the big decisions took place. It was a
big and cozy room. The desk sat around 12 people even though only 4 of us
worked there...

Well, the first couple of days were a bit hard for me since I had little
idea about the movement and what was needed there. Thankfully, Daniel
explained what I needed to know about the business and I quickly took
over. Laura was very efficient and always very kind, I liked her a lot.

Apart from work things, nothing special happened to me. John was still with
his girlfriend and their love grew stronger very day. Paul was dating a
girl named Sara. She was a bit younger than him, but they looked good
together. Paul was taking things slowly to see where his relationship was
going.

I, on the other hand, had nobody in my life. Since I had broken off with
Brian, I had not gone out with another guy. I hardly did anything apart
from work. I'd go to work in the morning and then I would go straight
home. I didn't feel like doing anything else. I went through a period of
depression, but I made it out fairly quickly. I tried to get over Brian,
but it was so hard, everything reminded me of him...

So here I am, after three difficult and painful months, sitting on my desk
looking out the window. The sky was clear and the sun was shinning.

"Jack?"

"Huh?"

"Did you hear me?" Sophie said looking at me

"Yeah, I heard you, but...could you repeat it so that I'm sure I heard you
right?"

"Day dreaming again? Listen you've got an appointment with the executives
at 6:00, then you've got your brother's party at 8, got it?" Sophie asked
smiling

"Perfect, got that" I replied looking at my watch. I noticed that it was
already 5:30. I decided to leave for my appointment, so I grabbed my coat
and headed for the door.

"Keep your cell on!" Sophie said loudly before I walked out of the office

"I will"

I walked to the elevator. As I walked passed Laura's office, I noticed that
she was having an intimate moment with Stephen. They were kissing deeply
and he had his hands on her ass. I didn't care what they did, as long as it
didn't keep them away from their work.

"Laura" I said and then they broke their kiss "I need those papers that I
asked you tonight at the latest"

"Yes Jack" she replied as she went back to her work "they will be on your
desk"

"And Stephen?" I looked at him "I need the check the designs tomorrow
morning"

"Sure, no problem" he replied.

I just continued my way to the elevator. The doors opened almost right away
and I stepped inside. There was a huge man already inside the elevator. I
tried not to stare at the guy but it was difficult. He was really tall and
he was like a brick wall, really muscled. He was actually intimidating. We
stayed silent all the way down and they I just headed for my car.

I had changed my car, since I had the accident in my VW Beetle. I bought a
new one, this one was so cool and I loved it. It was a red Viper. It was
the best car I had ever had. It was very fast, but I still did not venture
to drive that fast. I drove at normal speed...

Anyway, I drove out of the car park and headed for my appointment. After a
few minutes I arrived at the Jive Records building. I parked my car right
in front of it and then I stepped out. I looked at the building before I
went inside. It was the first time I had gone there since I had stopped
working for the BSB.

I had seen the guys a couple of times but not as often as I used to. I had
not seen Brian or heard from him since the day he walked out of my house.

I walked into the building and then I headed for the elevators. Right then,
I noticed that Nick was waiting for the elevator.

"Hi Nick" I said and he turned around.

"Hey man, what's up?" he replied happily

"Not much really, I've got a meeting with some executives"

"Wow, that's' great" he replied

"So what have you been up to?" I asked him

"Well, right now, we're promoting the album"

"That's good" I replied and then we both went into the elevator.

On our way up, we chatted for a while. Nick explained that the guys and him
had been working hard and had been doing a lot of promotion for their
greatest hits album. I was pleased to see that they were doing fine. Nick
also told me that they were going to take a break from their work. After
they finished their promotion, each one of them would do something
different. I was a bit sad to hear this and I asked him if they were
breaking up. Nick said that they were not breaking up as such, but they
would not be doing any new albums for a while...

I asked him how the guys were doing and he said everything was great. I did
not ask him about Brian and neither did he mention him.

When we reached his floor, he stepped out of the elevator.

"Let's go out sometime"

"I would love that" I told him "call me anytime you can"

"Ok, nice seeing you again" he said and then the doors closed before I
could say something else.

The elevator went up and then I stepped out of it when I reached my
floor. I walked to the conference room and all the executives were already
there. It was a brief meeting. They only wanted to know how things were
going with the designs. I told them that the designs for the new season
were coming along just fine.

One of them explained that the clothes were selling quickly. I was pleased
to hear this, since I realized that people liked my designs. A smile came
across my face.

The rest of the meeting went pretty fast. I was glad that I was able to
carry on with my work and that they liked it too. Before they left, I told
them that I had a new idea. I was planning on extending the range of
clothing that we made. I was planning on doing more than just pants,
shirts, and things like that; maybe we could try suits, ties, coats,
etc. The men were silent for a second or two, but then they said it was
actually a good idea. They told me to make a presentation for them the
following week to see what I had in mind.

When the meeting was over, I went back to my car and drove off. I thought
that maybe I would encounter Nick again, but I didn't. I was driving when I
felt like I was going to throw up. I quickly stopped the car and then I
threw up in a dumpster.

I had no idea why I had thrown up, but I didn't feel very well. I decided
to go for a small walk in the park, so that I might feel better. There were
many people there; there were children running around and everything. I sat
down by one of the trees facing the playground. I watched the children
play.

I lay down and looked at the sky. The sky was clear and it was a beautiful
evening.

Suddenly an enormous dog came over and started drooling all over
me. Freaked out, I quickly got up and tried to push the dog away, the dog
kept sniffing me and he started to pull on my leg. A guy came over quickly
and grabbed the dog by his collar and pulled it away from me.

"Are you ok?" he asked preoccupied

"I think I will be" I said as I looked at my clothes. I had dog saliva all
over my coat and pants. I tried to wipe it away but it was so sticky...it
was gross.

"Oh look at your suit" the guy said as he took out of his pocket a small
handkerchief "let me clean it"

He then began wiping my coat, but he let go of the dog, so the dog quickly
started pulling on my leg again.

"I think I'll do it myself" I said as he grabbed the dog again.

"Ok man" he replied and then I began wiping most of the saliva away. I gave
him back his handkerchief.

"I better go now" I said as I started walking away.

"Jim!" he said loudly and I turned around to face him "my name is Jim"

"Yeah, my name's Jack" I replied and then I made my way back to my car.

"Nice meeting you!" he yelled.

I really thought that it wasn't a good day for me. I mean, there was
nothing else that could make it worse. How wrong I was. I was about to
cross the street, since my car was on the other side of the street, when a
car passed really fast and splashed the water of the puddle that was in
front of me. I was completely drenched.

"Oh, come on!" I yelled as I wiped the dirt and water off my face. I just
crossed the street and got into my car.

I took my coat off and put it in the back seat. I looked at my watch and
noticed that it was already 7:45. I knew that I was going to be late for my
brother's party. I drove off and went home.

I tried to drive as fast as I could, but it was rush hour so I took longer
than expected. Minutes later I arrived at my place. I parked my car in the
garage and then I ran into the house.

As soon as I opened the front door, I ran straight to my room. I wanted to
get changed before I went to the party. As I passed by the living room, I
noticed that both of my brothers were already dressed up.

"Jack!" Paul said as he noticed that I ran up to my room "we're really late
now"

"I'll be down in a few seconds, I just need to get changed" I yelled from
the top of the stairs as I made my way to my room.

"If you're not in the car in 10 minutes, we're leaving without you!!" Paul
yelled and I heard the front door closing.

I just grabbed a suit from my closet and another pair of shoes. I quickly
got changed and then I went into the bathroom. I looked at myself in the
mirror and I looked terrible. I washed my face and then gelled my hair. I
put some cologne on and then ran down the stairs towards the car.

Paul was already blowing the horn and as usual, was complaining. I just got
in the car and then he drove off.

"I can't believe it" he said "we're gonna be late!"

"Calm down"

"Jack Brown, don't you tell me to calm down, you hear me!"

"Ok, ok" I told him and then I was silent the rest of the way. Paul kept
scolding me all the way there. I just didn't pay attention to him. I just
pulled my cd player from under my seat and then I put my headphones on and
listened to some music.

My brother Paul was a great guy, but the only thing that annoyed him the
most was unpunctuality. He could not stand being late somewhere. I, on the
other hand, was not that punctual, and that's why we always had arguments.

I didn't even know why Paul had taken John and me to his party, since we
had nothing to do with it. Paul said that it was going to be a party for
models and people like that and he was hoping to get to be somebody's
agent. John was happy because he said he wanted someone famous.

"I might get a date with a model" John said excited as we drove to the
party

"Remember you've got a girlfriend" Paul stated

"Stop being such a goody-goody" John said to him "I won't do anything
wrong, I just want to meet someone famous"

After a few minutes we arrived at the party. I could see that it was a
fancy party since everybody was wearing suits and the women were wearing
dresses and expensive jewelry.

The place itself was great too. It was a mansion, with enormous lit gardens
and things like that. I just couldn't wait to get in. Paul parked the car
right in front of the main entrance and then a valet came to park our
car. Paul showed the invitation to the security man and then we went
inside.

The mansion was so beautiful. It was nicely decorated and it had expensive
chandeliers hanging from the ceiling. It had paintings on the walls which
were very tasteful.

"Ok people" Paul said "mingle"

Right then, John and Paul went separate ways. I stayed where I was admiring
the beautiful mansion. I wasn't sure which way to go, since I didn't know
anyone.

I tried to make some conversation with a couple of people. The first person
I began talking to was a woman, oh my god, she was so superficial. The only
thing she could talk about was clothes and things related to clothes. Not
saying that I'm a scholar or something like that, but her conversation was
so boring and dull, that I quickly excused myself.

The other person I talked to was a man, he was not as superficial as the
woman I had talked to, but he was so self-centered that it was
nauseating. He only talked about how handsome he was and how tall he was. I
don't know, there was something about him that I didn't like.

As I was talking to him, I noticed that there was a balcony and I wanted to
check out the view from it, so I excused myself and walked over there.

The view from the balcony was great; you could see the whole city. I took
my coat off and then I sat down on one of the chairs and admired the
view. I stayed there for a while and a waiter came and offered me some
champagne. I noticed that it was an expensive one. I wasn't sure who had
arranged this party, but I was certain that it was a person with a lot of
taste.

I turned around and looked at the party. I wasn't sure why, but I didn't
feel comfortable being there. The people I had talked to were so...self
involved and I wasn't. That's probably why I had not enjoyed talking to
them. I decided to call it a night. I wanted to go home, but I knew I had
to tell John or Paul before I left.

I walked back to the party and I spotted John first. He was talking to a
group of women and I could see that he was having a great time, because
they were all laughing. I walked closer to him and then I told him I was
going to leave.

"Stay a little longer" he said as he excused himself a little bit from the
women

"No, it's better if I leave" I reassured him

"Do you want me to drive you home?"

"No thanks, I'll take a cab" I told him and then I excused myself.

I walked back to the door and tried to see if I could find Paul so that I
could tell him as well that I was leaving. I couldn't, so I walked out of
the party. I was already at the main entrance when I realized I had
forgotten my coat at the balcony.

`Damn' I thought as I walked back to the balcony to get it.

I noticed that my coat was still behind the chair I had sat on a few
moments before. I picked it up and then I turned around and bumped into a
man.

"Jack?"

"Jim?" I asked "I didn't recognize you without your big drooling dog"

"I barely recognize you" he replied and we both smiled

Jim was the guy that I had bumped into that afternoon at the park. He
looked so different from what I remembered. While he was at the park, he
was wearing a pair of shorts, a tank top and a cap. Now, he was wearing an
expensive suit and his hair was gelled back. He looked great, I must say.

"So...you're a model"

"Yeah, supermodel" I told him in a sarcastic way

"I meant to say that I hope you're not a model. You're not like most men I
see at these parties" he said in a deep voice "what is it you do?"

"I design clothes"

"Really?" he asked in amaze.

"Yeah, that's why I'm leaving" I said as I put my coat on

"I wish I could leave"

"Why? You seem like you are having a great time" I told him

"Well, my job consists of kissing ass and smiling while I do it. But that's
not really me"

"So the split personality emerges" I said explaining his behavior "you're
really two different people"

"You...could look at it that way" he replied smiling "we'd both like to
talk to you" he said as he put his arm around the shoulder of an imaginary
person. I thought it was really funny.

"Well, don't want to keep you two from the party" I said smiling

"Hey, as far as we're concerned, you're the party"

We sat there and we began talking about our lives and our backgrounds. He
was actually a nice guy. he also from England, so we had that in common,
even though he had been there a lot more often than I had. He was actually
in the fashion business too, in fact, he was one of the most important
people in the business. He was the agent of the most popular models. I
wasn't sure why he had said that his job consisted of kissing ass, since he
was probably the most important person in fashion at that moment...I wanted
to know but I didn't dare to ask.

Anyway, we started talking about love and then he began talking about his
last love. That's when I realized he was gay. We talked for about an hour
or something like that...I lost track of time.

"But why did he leave you?" I asked interested "I mean, you're practically
perfect" I was so surprised to see what I had just said and I tried to make
it better "I mean, it sounds like you were a great couple"

"You know what my problem is?" he explained "I think everybody is basically
good. Then I fall for them right away. But then I get disappointed"

"I know what you mean" I replied sighing.

"Not saying that I was ever the best boyfriend. Work kept me away for long
hours. She thought it was dangerous"

"She thought the fashion business was dangerous?" I asked in disbelief.

"Dangerous...to my health. You know, stressful"

"Well, I'd hate to see something happen to you and I just met you" I told
him without thinking what I was saying. He just smiled. I was about to
correct what I had said but a man came out looking for Jim.

"There you are" the man said. Jim got up from his seat and then they moved
away from me, but I could hear what they were saying "come back to the
party man. There's someone I want you to meet"

"Ok, hold on a second" Jim told him and then he got closer to me

"Remember that ass I hate kissing? This is the worst" he whispered to me so
that the man could not listen.

"I wouldn't know about it, but I'll take your word for it" I replied and we
both smiled "hey, maybe we could meet again"

The word `date' kept flashing in my head. I was not planning on having a
date with Jim, but he seemed to be such a nice guy that I wanted to get to
know him better, not in a sentimental way, but just as friends...

"A date?" he asked "yeah, you know, actually my schedule's pretty crazy the
nest few weeks"

"Yeah me too" I replied "I've got this big designing project"

"Good night Jack"

"Good night Jim" I told him and then he walked back to the party.

I stayed there a few more minutes thinking about what I had said to
him. Had I actually asked him out? He probably understood it that way, but
that was not my intention. I didn't worry about it too much since he had
turned it down. I smiled at the thought of Jim. He was a great guy; he was
smart, funny, and kind. I liked him a lot...

I walked back to the party and made my way to the front door. I noticed
that my brothers were nowhere to be seen. I didn't worry too much about
them, since they could take care of themselves.

There were a couple of cabs waiting at the entrance. I got in and the car
was about to drive away when I heard Jim yelling.

"Jack!!!" he said as he ran out of the party.

"Stop the car" I told the driver and then I lowered the window

"I wanna...go...out with you" Jim said as he took out of his pocket a small
thingy that I d don't know the name. I think it's an inhaler.

"Asthma?" I asked

"Only when I'm under stress" he explained "look, I usually hide my work...I
mean, behind my work. So I don't hurt anyone, I mean, get hurt"

"I think we're both alike" I stated

"You mean inarticulate?" he asked and then we both smiled

"That's not really the word I was looking for" I told him smiling.

The next thing he did totally took me by surprise. He leaned in and then he
kissed my lips. I was totally speechless. I wanted to say something but I
couldn't. He then broke the kiss and ran inside again. The cab then drove
away.

On my way home, I thought about the kiss and Jim. Even though he was a
great guy and I liked him a lot. I was not ready to get into anything with
anyone. I was still trying to get over Brian and I didn't want to hurt
anyone else. I knew I had to explain my situation to Jim so that he would
not get the wrong idea. I touched my lips with my finger and then I smiled
at the thought of the kiss. I know it was not right, but I had liked it.

I knew that my life was going to change a lot from then on, but I had no
idea how much it would...


**********

Well folks, I hope you liked this chapter. I know it was a bit confusing at
first to some of you.

Jack has tried to move on with his life and tried to live without Brian. He
is not sure what he wants to do with his love life, but he is going to
figure out soon...

As usual, send comments to:

jack_ga_2002@yahoo.com

Till the next one

Your friend, Jack
"Enjoy life and always be yourself"