Date: Mon, 29 Nov 1999 00:49:05 GMT
From: lulupower <lulupower@hotmail.com>
Subject: Brian and Joshua

Brian and Joshua, by lulupower

Legal disclaimer: This story involves guy/guy sex, so if you're not 18,
you're not supposed to read that stuff and like DLS of "Brian and me" says,
don't read it. Or do, just don't get caught and feel *very* guilty. lol.
I'm not saying that Joshua Jackson or Brian Littrell are gay ( Man I wish
they were but oh well ) and the following story is pure fantasy.Oh and I'M
NOT JOSHUA JACKSON. I'm just writing the story from his point of view.

Author's note:  As every new author says, "it's my first attempt at writing a
story, so please be nice with me cause I'm sensitive..." lol
Anyways, whatever you find wrong/right about that story, please e-mail me
about it so I can be better next time, ok?
Oh and by the way, I know I'll make mistakes in english because it's not my
mother tongue, so please tell me what I've done wrong. Thanx!
Now no more blablabla, here is the story.


                         **********PART 1**********

I woke up at exactly 6:13, 2 minutes before my alarm clock went off. I tried
to shake off my mind of the nightmare I had before I'd get up, but I couldn't
think of anything else than the picture of my boyfriend, Brian Littrell,
kissing his bandmate AJ McLean. I looked at him, sleeping peacefully beside
me, a little smile on his face. I knew he wouldn't cheat on me. Somehow, the
cruel smile of Brian in the nightmare was there in my head. So I got up, and
decided that a shower would wake me up.
I untangled myself from Brian, and trust me it was a hard task. Brian goraned
and turned his back to me. I smiled at the sight. He looked like a big baby.
I got up and walked towards the bathroom. I turned on the shower and stepped
in.
"Baby?" I herd Brian say. "I'm in the shower, Bri"
He knocked on the door. "Come in!"
Brian popped his head inside, and then came in. He took off his boxers and
joined me in the shower.
"Hey there" I said. "Hey there yourself. Did you sleep well?" he asked with a
smile. "Like a baby" I lied. "Liar" Brian had a concerned look on his face.
"What?" "You woke me up last night. You were sweating and rooling around in
the bed, yelling my name."
Tears started to well up in my eyes.
"What's wrong babe?" He hugged me tightly as I sobbed on his wet shoulder.
"What did I do wrong Joshua?" " You did nothing wrong. I...I just keep having
these nightmares about you and another guy kissing and...it's so hard because
you're so damn gorgeous and anybody could take you away from me." I sobbed.
"Poor Joshua...stop crying, you know we're gonna be together forever, right?
I'd never leave you for another guy...not even AJ..." I looked at him with
shock. "How did you know it was AJ?" " I know what you're thinking Josh. I
once dated AJ, but it's over now. I love YOU..." he said."Thanx babe." I said
wiping my eyes. "Don't cry babe. I can't stand to see you in pain..." I
smiled. "Happy now?" "Very. Now let's get outta here, we're clean now." he
said. I nodded, and turned off the shower. We toweled ourselves, got dressed,
and headed to the kitchen. I started to cook breakfast, while Brian went out
with Tyke, our dog (well HIS dog, cause damn I hated it!). I started thinking
about my relationship with Brian. We had been together for like 2 years and a
half at this day, and I could count on my left hand the nights where Brian had
said "I love you" the past few months. We didn't make love anymore. We had had
some sex flings but nothing serious. I was lost in my thoughts, when I felt 2
moist lips on my neck. I closed my eyes for a moment, and dropped the knife
and the peach I was cutting. Brian sarted roaming his hands under my shirt
and lifted it.
"Brian stop please" I asked softly. He stopped immediately. "What's wrong?"
"Brian, can you tell me when was the last time we made love?" He thought for
a moment. "Last week, I think it was friday night" he said with assurance. I
looked at him with deception. "I didn't say when we had sex, I said when we
MADE LOVE." He threw me a funny look. "It's the same thing baby..." "No it's
not. When we have sex, it's a pleasure thing. When we make love, I feel like
you love me. Do you know when was the last time we truly made love? 6 months
ago." "Joshua I..." "I'm not finished." I cut him. "You know what? we're at
that point where you don't even remember to tell me you love me before you go
to bed. What happened to us Brian?" I asked with fear. He sighed. I don't
know Joshua. I still love you, I hope you know that. It's like our relationship
was becoming an habit...I don't want that.We'll find something." "Let's eat,
ok?" He nodded, and dressed the table while I finished cooking. We ate in
silence for about 15 minutes, and I noticed Brian staring at me.
"What is it Brian?" I asked. "Will you marry me Joshua?" I was stunned. Tears
started to form in my eyes, and Brian looked afraid. "Is that a no?" he asked
with fear. "Oh no Brian, it's a HUGE yes!" He grinned widely, and stood to
hug me. I cried on his shoulder.
"Seems like you love this place to cry" Brian tried to joke. I grinned a
little, and then sighed. "What?" Brian asked with concern. "Who would've
ever thought that we'd get married?" "Me." I grinned more. Then I rested my
head on his chest. "Now what?" he asked. "How about we go shopping?" "Cool."
I let go of Brian and grabbed my keys. I smiled devishly at him and started
running. "First arrived at the car drives!" "Hey, no fair!"

At the mall, we headed to Abercrombie & Fitch, where Brian bought 2 t-shirts,
2 pairs of pants, and a tight green V-neck shirt. Then we went to GAP, where
I bought a pair of khakis, some jeans, a blue button-down short-sleeved shirt
and Brian bought not less than 7 shirts. You see who's in a boyband now!
Then we went to Nike's, and I spotted some very cool snickers. I went to the
counter to buy them, but Brian insisted on paying.
"Why do you want to pay Bri? I've got money too you know..."I said. "Hey, I
just want to pay it, please..." I gave up. How can you resist to these blue
eyes, I'm asking you? So he flashed me his killer smile, and paid. We headed
to the underground parking. I looked around and I didn't see anyone, so I
quickly kissed Brian on the lips.
"Thanx for the shoes baby." He smiled and kissed me back, that time a little
longer. Then we stepped in the car and headed to a little jewelry store, to
buy each other a ring. I bought Brian a nice golden ring with little diamonds
on it. I engraved "Luv ya 4ever" in it. Brian bought me the same one, but he
engraved "Urs 4ever" in it.
Back home, about 5 hours later, we were starving.
"How about I take you out to dinner Joshua?" Brian asked. "No. I take YOU out
to dinner. You bought me shoes, I take you out to dinner. Deal?" "Deal."
So we went eating in a nice french restaurant, then we crawled into bed, dead
tired, at about 10:30.
The next morning, I had a photoshoot, and Brian came with me. Like the day
before, I came back home dead tired and famished.
"Want me to make you some macaroni and cheese a la Brian just for you?" he
asked me. "Yeah, and some for you at the same time?" I laughed. "Yeah well...
the guy has to eat too..." He patted my shoulder. I reached for the remote
control when something on Entertainement Tonight hit me. "Oh my God, Brian
you have to come here..."
"We are now sure that they are dating. We don't have any confirmation from
them but these pictures don't lie..." The picture of me and Brian kissing in
the parking lot were showed on the screen.
"What is it Josh?" "We're out!" "Uh? What do you mean by we're out?" "Someone
saw us yesterday in the parking lot! Look at these pictures! Every single
American Citizen now knows that we are together." "OH MY GOD" The phone rang,
and I reached for it. "Hello?" "You guys are dead. Both of you." the voice
said. "Kevin it's..." "Joshua you guys knew that you couldn't do anything in
public! I can't believe that you did something like kissing after 3 years!
Kissing! You could've done something else! If you had held hands or hugged we
could have covered you. But KISSING!!! What do you think our band will become
now? It's all your fault, and now I..." "Stop yelling ok? Maybe that in your
little selfish thoughts about the band you didn't see that WE were going to
have paparrazis around us from now on?"I yelled on the phone. "Joshua, you
don't understand. Our band can't survive this. Our fans are mostly girls.
They love us because we are guys, because they all think that they have the
slightest chance with us. But now they will all say"oh, he's gay, he's not
potentially mine anymore". Your career is not based on that. You can still be
popular even if you are gay. Look at Keanu Reeves!"
"Kevin, shut up and listen to me. You are rich, ok? Multimillionaire. Maybe
you love to do what you do, but you don't need it to live. I do. And eve if I
didn't, now like I said every single American citizen knows that Brian and
me are together. Our relationship, our love, what was the most important
thing in our lives is not our little secret anymore. So stop being so selfish
and try to understand that maybe you're not the only one in shit right now,
ok?"I hung up. Brian looked at me with tears in his eyes.
"What are we gonna do?" he asked. I sighed. "I don't know. Kevin wants us
dead now. He's mad as shit." I said. "Yeah, I know." He said.I looked at him
and started crying also. We reached for each other and hugged. "Oh my God
Brian how are we going to go through that?" "Maybe the fans won't care,
maybe...hey, I've got an idea." He shouted. "What is it?" "Why don't we just
admit it? I mean look at George Michael, and Keanu Reeves, they are still
popular!" "Yeah, but like Kevin said, your fans are all girls, and..." "I
know. But it's a chance that I'm willing to take. Maybe some of them won't
care. And maybe some guys would start to listen to our music...And even if we
loose some fans, we'd be less on tour, and I could see you more often." "Oh
Brian you can't stop signing. You love it too much to stop." "I didn't say
I'd stop. I said I'd be less on tour." "Yeah but..." "Trust me Joshua, ok?"
"And what about us?" I asked with fear. "Is there anything in the world worth
breaking up?" he asked back. "Of course no."
He looked at me in the eyes.
"Joshua, we're gonna be together forever." The phone rang again. This time,
Brian answered it.
"Hello, Brian's speaking...Hi mom..." Oh no, another thing. Brian's parent
being Baptists, we didn't tell them that we were together, and that Brian was
gay. They thought I was Brian's roommate.
"Yeah, I saw it...A long time. I'm sorry mom, I wanted to tell you so bad,
but I was scared that...Yeah?...What did dad say?...Really? If I had known
that, I would've told you...Yeah well you know what The Bible has to say
about homosexuality...Oh mom you're the best!...Me too...You do?...Yeah,
hold on...Joshua?" "Yeah?" "My mom wants to talk to you."
My heart started racing as I took the phone. Brian must have felt it,
because he took my hand and mouthed "I love you". I took a deep breath, and
smiled.
"Hello?" "Hi Joshua." I heard a sweet little voice saying. "Hi Mrs. Littrell.
How are you?" "I'll feel better when you stop calling me Mrs.! It makes me
feel like your grandmother. Call me Jackie." she said, laughing. "Hmmm, okay
Jackie."
She laughed.
"So, the only thing told me about you was that you were his roommate. Now I
know that you are a little bit more than that, and I want to get to know you.
But I want you to know that we always knew that Brian was gay, and we are ok
with this." "I'm glad to hear that." "Yeah. How long have you two been
together?" "A long time." "Yeah, Brian told me that too" she laughed "How
long? 6 months? A year?" she asked. I cleared my throat "No...we've been
together for 3 years now."
Silence.
"You're still there Jackie?" I asked, worried. "Yeah, sorry, just a little
shocked. How come you're not married or something?"
I laughed. "Brian has always wanted to tell you guys that he was with me.
But he was too afraid. The only sure thing is that his family had to be there
when he gets married. And...Well he proposed to me 2 days ago. And I said
yes...We don't know when we'll get married though." I said calmly. "Awww...My
baby's getting married soon..."
I heard her sniffle. "Don't cry Jackie! It's...it's supposed to be a happy
moment." I said, thinking about what Brian had said earlier.Brian looked at
me and smiled. I winked at him.
"You talk like Brian."I just laughed.
"Now I have to hang up because it's going to cost a fortune. Why don't you
guys come over here this weekend? I know Brian's tour with the guys begins
on Tuesday next week, so you could come from Tuesday to Sunday, what do you
think?" she asked. "We'll be there, but from Wednesday to Sunday, because
we'll probably have a press conference tomorrow." "You don't ask Brian?" "He's
dying to go home, I know it. I don't need to ask him." She laughed.
"Well call to tell us at what time your plane lands, and we'll be there." "Ok
talk to you later." "Yeah. Bye." "Bye."
We hung up. I looked at Brian.
"We're going to your parent's from Wednesday to Sunday." "Thanks baby." he
said with a huge smile. "Why?" "For being that marvelous guy you are."
I blushed. He kissed me lightly.
"Who told you we were going to have a press conference? Kevin?" Brian asked.
"No, I just know there will be one. So what did your mom say when you told
her you were scared, and the whole bible thing ?" "Well at first she was a
little upset that I didn't trust her, but then she explained to me that even
if in the Bible there was something against gays, we were both in love, and I
was her son and that's all that mattered to her." "And your dad?" "Well he
said: "Oh, he finally came out of the closet." so it's ok."
"He knew?" I asked with shock. "Yeah. I guess parents just fell that kind of
things"
I smiled. Brian grabbed the phone.
"I'm gonna call Nick. He's probably worried about us, but too shy to call."
"I'm sure that A.J and Howie are worried too..." I pointed out. "Yeah, but
about their careers more than about me." He dialed the number.
"Hey it's Brian...You did too...And what do you think?"
As Brian talked, all I could think of was that damn press conference. What if
I lost my job? What if the Backstreet boys broke up? It was something Brian
coldn't afford. Singing was his life. When he wasn't on tour, he was singing
in the shower, or when he was doing the dishes, or when he...
"Baby? Nick said that Kevin wanted a group meeting, with you there." he said.
"When?" "Now..."He said. I sighed. "What about my macaroni and cheese?" I asked
with hope. "We'll order a pizza at AJ's." "Ok...Well let's go, so we can get
over it with that shit."
About half an hour later, everyone was sitting in AJ's living room, eating
pizza. Kevin cleared his throat to get everyone's attention.
"Did you guys decide on what to do?" he asked. I lokes at Brian, and he nodded.
"Yeah, we'll admit it. We can't deny it anyways." All of them, except Nick,
stopped eating and stared at us with shock. " I think they're right" Nick said
shyly. Howie looked at him with anger. "Are you sick Nick? Man we're talking
about our careers here!" "I'm not sick" Nick answered calmly " There's lots
of gay people in the music industry..." "He's right Howie." AJ said. Howie was
in total shock. "You are with them AJ?" Kevin asked. "Yeah. And you should
support family. Who's for them?" AJ asked, raising his hand. Nick raised his
hand quickly. "So it's 4 on 6, we win! There's a press conference tomorrow at
11 sharp. Be there y'all, or I'll kick your asses. I'll handle the management
later tonight. The meeting's over." AJ said. Everyone got up and started to
leave. When Kevin and Howie were gone, I hugged AJ, then Nick. "Thanx guys
for understanding." "It's okay..." "Hey, hands off my boyfriend, Carter!"
Brian laughed. "Boyfriend? Do we tell them babe?" I asked. "Tell us what?"AJ
asked. Brian nodded. Kevin came back inside as I said "Brian proposed to me 2
 days ago, and I said yes. So we are engaged." "How could you even THINK
about that?" Kevin asked. "What do you think it will do to our careers???"
"Ah Shut up Kevin. I don't wanna hear you anymore. Joshua and I are happy,
and we want to be together forever. You can't do anything about that. So
SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
Ouh. It was going to be ugly later on...Brian's swear was a sign that we'd
probably sleep in separate beds that night...
Brian got up and took my hand. "We are going to get married wether any of you
wants it or not. So if you want that group to work out for a long time, you
better accept it." He looked at me. "Shall we leave?" "Let's."
The ride home was silent. When we got home, Brian went straight to his room
and slammed the door. I sighed, and followed him. I knocked softly on the
door, and entered. Brian was facing the wall, his back to me. I could clearly
hear him sniffle. I walked to the bed and sat beside him. "Why are you crying
baby?" I whispered. "I'm not crying." he answered sharply. He had tremolos in
his voice, and I could see his hand wiping his tears. "Brian, it's ok to cry.
You are a man, not an animal...Men have feelings. They smile when they're
happy, and they cry when they're sad. And when the man I love is crying, it
breaks my heart, and I feel like crying too...Talk to me Brian. Tell me what's
wrong."
He sat on the bed, and threw his arms around my neck, sobbing. "I wanted them
to understand. I wanted Kevin to smile and say he was happy for me. They are
my best friends...There's only Nick and AJ truly happy for us... But Kevin,
my cousin, my model...he said I was wrong. But I know I'm not wrong, loving
you can't be wrong. And...and..."
He was now sobbing so hard on my shoulder that he couldn't talk. I rubbed his
back slowly. I knew there was something else.
"Shhh Brian...Calm down..."
His sobs were getting softer.
"What did you want to say?" I asked carefully. " I...I...Well I know that we
are not getting married like tomorrow...it'll take time. But I know I want
Kevin to be my best man. And now if I ask him he'll say no for sure. It's so
hard Josh..." he said, wiping his tears.I sighed. "I know it's hard Brian.
But we'll get through it, ok?" "Yeah. Thanx for being there for me, I really
appreciate it." he smiled. "That's why I'm here for, right?" I said. "No...
You're here because you're so damn cute..."
I smiled. "I love you Joshua" he whispered. "I love you too" I whispered back
"What do you think about going downstairs, lit a fire in the fireplace and
make passionate love in front of it on the carpet?"
Brian faked thinking for a moment. "I think it a great idea." We headed to
the living room. Once there, Brian lit a fire while I sat on the carpet.
"Still willing baby?" he asked with a smile. "Yup, definetly." He sat beside
me, and kissed me softly. He parted my lips with his tongue, then slipped it
in. He laid me on the carpet, and unbuttonned my shirt, sitting on my crotch
area. Then he kissed me again, got rid of his shirt, unzipped my pants and
took off his shoes without even leaving my lips. His hand slipped in my pants
and grabbed my cock through my boxers. I moaned softly. Then Brian rolled on
his back, so I was laying on him. He took off my pants, then his, and I started
to grind my hips with his. I was feeling his cock getting harder. Then I don't
know how, one second we had boxers on, the next second we were naked and our
boxers were resting on the couch. Brian smiled at me. I smiled back, and
kissed him again. He threw his legs around my waist, giving me full access to
his asshole. I stopped everything. "Brian?" I asked. "Yeah?" "I don't have
any condoms on me...Neither do you." He looked in my eyes. "I trust you. It's
been 3 years that we've been together..." I looked at him, searching for
anything saying no, and all I saw  was love. So I pushed slightly. He winced
in pain. "Are you sure you want this Brian?"I asked with concern. "Yeah...it
just takes some time to get used to. It's not lubed in there...go on."
I smiled. "I won't hurt you baby." "I know." I pushed a little bit more.
Slowly. Until my balls were resting on his ass cheeks. I waited until I saw
bliss replacing pain in Brian's eyes. "You ready?"I asked. "As ready as I'll
ever be." I started to withdraw my cock from his ass. I wanted to yell, and
seeing Brian's face, it was the same thing for him. When only the tip remained
in his ass, I pushed my cock back in. My pace was getting faster. With one
hand I grabbed Brian's throbbing cock and I started to strike it. When he
felt I was getting close, Brian slipped his middle finger in my ass. It
brought me over the edge, and I came in Brian. About 2 seconds later, he
tensed up and shot his load between us. I collapsed on him and panted. I
looked at him and smiled with love. "You're really good at that you know." I
said. He blushed and laughed a bit. "Yeah well I had an amazing teacher." I
laughed and took out my now soft cock of Brian's ass. Then I kissed his
shoulder and rested my head on it. "I love you Brian" I said with a little
voice. "I love you too baby..." was the last thing I heard before falling
asleep on him.
                **********TO BE CONTINUED**********

That was part 1. Part 2 is almost done so I'll post it next week. What did
you guys think? PLEASE e-mail me to let me know what you think: am I good,
bad, should I continue this story, or not...? lulupower@hotmail.com, and put
"Brian and Joshua" for subject. Thanx y'all!